Posted July 27th, 2011 at 6:09 PM
RSD HOT SEAT 2 REVIEWI went to the Honolulu Hot Seat 2 which was cool because it was Owen’s final one for this tour. And so you know who I was when you read this, I was the weirdo that kept staring at you the whole time you were talking during the event sitting front row my left your right right behind the couch, Owen.
for me was
in one word
It completely opened my game wide open and exposed it to me.
It gave me the last one percent my game needed.
The content in there, I and everyone else there knew, downright this is shit you would never see anywhere else.
Something Owen said at the beginning that resonated deep in my perspective is that back when he was learning game he would fucking be in contact with a guy that had more game than him and he would drive cross country and sleep on couches take all types of time out of his life just to learn from this guy. There were several guys over the course of two years. He said that when he would go out and try to pickup whatever learning from each one of these dudes he would meet it was frustrating because he could not really dissect the approaches these dudes were doing because let’s be honest how akward and creepy would it be to follow the guy around and completely listen in on and see what he is doing.
As a result, Owen got little exposure to what whatever guy he had driven out to see was doing. To compound the difficulty of getting good learning from the experience as well, as much as he wanted to learn from the guy too, Owen could not exactly just drill the guy about his game the whole time they were hanging out. He would have to bring it up in conversation and pick up little things here and there then of course drive all the way back home and a lot of time gets lost. I honestly do not have that kind of time to just drive around and follow up on any guy who is possibly good even just a little better, but Owen did and I felt privileged to have such an advantage passed on by a guy who was in the same position I am at one point and was able to go to such extremes to learn and now he was passing it on to me. He said that he is probably ten times better than most of these guys he learned from and not only that, but we are getting to see every moment of the interaction and he is breaking down for us much more deeply and clearly than the guys he learned from could.
HOW I UNDERSTOOD GAME PRIOR TO HOT SEAT 2
I went to the event having done some pickup
I was at a crucial sticking point in my game
I do not know how many of you can relate but,
I HAVE ALWAYS INTUITIVELY FELT THAT MY GAME IS FUNDAMENTALLY FLAWED AT THE MOST BASIC LEVEL.
Like the reality of game is SOOO outside my reality that my mind can not even comprehend it
What I think I am unable to see is where it stops mattering whether or not the girl chooses to like me. How I am choosing her and she is reacting to me without it ever mattering if she finds me fun or any of that other bullshit. In my model of pickup I am at a point where I base it on having fun in my world, but the flaw in that is that for me to attract the girl it still requires for her to at one point think he is funny or cute or I LIKE HIM and it is at this point where everything I am doing is moving it forward between me and her and I can relax and drop game entirely and I can evaluate her and her emotions. I am still trying to impress and reaching for an outcome. As you probably well know this leads to me getting in my head and thinking how can I self-amuse and get into a state where she likes me. Unless I can think of what I feel is the right thing to say to get her to feel my state and keep pumping my state then I can not have fun because I get stuck. I am stuck in the conveying value frame in order to get her to accept my value.
Which reminds me of another point Owen brought up:
At the end of the day you should not be sick of gaming, it should be fun.
But as I was saying,
Do you see how right from the beginning my model is all ready at its most fundamental level flawed because it depends on her approval before my self-amusing becomes effective. While I am at the cause not the effect of self-amusement, I am at the effect of whether or not it is resulting in attraction, building comfort, making her qualify herself because she likes me, and all those other wonderful things we love. My frame is still a conveying value frame dependent on my ability to frame everything as value for her to choose, so if she is not choosing me it must be because my value is not valuable enough.
Basically, I did not understand raw attraction.
It was my thinking that the only way for me to get to this invisible level where I can just quit trying to attract her and just attract her and never have to micromanage again would be to just keep gaming at the level I see which like I said I feel is fundamentally flawed and eventually when I get good at it and get enough girls to choose then my mind would be able to see the subtleties and my reticular activating system(RAS) would not be stuck on how what I am saying or doing fits in the frame of being received as the right value. How can I do this so it conveys my value correctly in this moment? There are so many things to be keeping track of when I am trying to convey value everything has to be prrfect, it keeps things so complex and abstract, puts me in my head, it is mentally exhausting and impossible to maintain.
Here are the concepts that I had comprehended in my inner game, but I had not been able to use for believing and enjoying myself 100%. As you shall see, I was using game in hopes of conveying who I am and what I enjoy as value and it was setting the frame where I needed attraction from the female constantly so my frame would remain validated. Hot Seat 2 helped me see where my frame was falling short and not solely relying on me and my belief in myself. Perhaps, you shall see yourself in what I am saying and can relate.
I understood self-amusement as keeping myself feeling good and having fun being me, but not how it created attraction. I saw it as it keep me feeling good and entertained and if the girl liked how I was vibing with myself and including her she would like me and choose me. It was displaying my ability to self-amuse in order to convey it as value LOOK HOW GOOD I CAN MAKE MYSELF FEEL AND HOW I CAN CREATE A GOOD TIME OUT OF NOWHERE. But I can not evaluate her, the type of person she is, and be critical of her emotional state until she chooses me because if I do and she resists or walks away I have to pump my state back up and get back in with her by framing that I am qualifying as part of my self-amusement and hopefully she forgives me and I continue keep making myself feel good for her so she chooses to or keeps liking me. This all is, of course, putting me right back in my head if I ever experience any road bumps and keeps my RAS tuned in to how can I convey more and frame everything I do and say as value, so that it is obvious and the girl can not deny it. My RAS is in the wrong place.
The more I understand my value in every situation the easier it is for me to fit that role as I self-amuse to pump my state and convey value through this frame. So, again I am in my head thinking about how do I have value in a away that everyone else shall also perceive it as value.
Strength of Reality
In my outer game, I went to the Hot Seat 2 without an idea of how to have the stronger reality to get the girl to screen herself, make her want me, laugh at everything I say, be unable to deny it is stronger than her’s, and for me to be proactive with it. I had built my reality and was using it to display value like look how strong my reality is DO YOU LIKE ME NOW!? :D
Owen cleared this right up for me at the event.
I always viewed my fear of rejection as a product of me thinking I could not convey enough value. I would think how can I convey enough value so if rejection does happen I can recover and frame it as part of my self-amusement and it does not appear as me choding out and qualifying myself with value or I would try to convey enough value to avoid rejection altogether. This would also manifest in me sometimes trying to neg to avoid the girl feeling uncomfortable with me and preserving the value I had conveyed at her in hopes of boosting her mood and connecting the good emotions to me. It depends on the other person not rejecting my value and as a result it allows me to act with total belief in myself now that the other person has also perceived what I am doing as value.
Total Belief(also 100% belief)
I believed in myself only as much as I am committed to my perceived value from the female's perception. This compromises my expectation because I believe in my value, but there is still that part of me that is waiting to see if she thinks it is value too and if she does then I can keep going. If she does not, then I have to forget about it and do something else I believe in just as strongly, reframe it or add more value to it so it is enough, or just keep talking trying to push the interaction forward until something pops. Thus, I can not commit 100% to total belief in myself. I am at 99% belief until she reciprocates it.
This I pretty much had no concept of other than I do or say something in a way that I can have total belief in myself and anticipate a positive expectation of the girl responding how I want because I know what I am asking is of value and can not be denied. I would be careful with it similarly to how Mystery would teach that you ask for the lowest amount of compliance at any given point as her being cool with you because it would be rude if she did not and over time it builds up and you eventually get sex as a result after having conveyed enough value to her and shared enough experiences with her.
This is NONSENSE.
Acting of my own intentions
I would be careful to not act or say how I want if I had not conveyed enough value or framing it as value, so she would like it and let me allowing me to fully believe in myself now that she has accepted and likes my value.
Clarity of intent
My clarity of intent was fucked up because, since I was coming from a conveying value frame, I could not express my intent unless I knew I had framed it as being of value or had conveyed and she had accepted enough value from me. For instance, if I go direct if there is nothing particularly special, and as a result valuable, about my directness she shall blow it off and I have no value.
I thought I could not escalate unless I had enough attraction and comfort through value and if my escalation failed I convey more value boost her mood and reescalate. This would compromise my entitlement and not allow me to commit to what I am doing 100% because I do not fully believe it is ok until she has given me enough reassurance that she likes the value I am conveying and is comfortable with it. I need the girl to believe in me too because if she turns me down I need to recover until she believes in my value as a man and thinking this way would take me out of the moment a bit because I am waiting for her to like me.
The more I took up a girl’s time and space, if I had not conveyed enough value, I felt like I was being needy. So, what to do?
Convey more value!
Being direct v indirect
Would it be more comfortable for the girl if I went direct or indirect, so it is easier for me to convey value and she does not get uncomfortable and reject my frame and thus allows me to commit 100% to what I am doing now that she has accepted my frame.
How can I frame it as value?
Can I convey enough value to open this set?
If I ever made the girl uncomfortable I would feel the need to look away to not make her more uncomfortable. I would be careful with my eye contact using it for attraction and ensuring it did not make her uncomfortable.
I had almost no qualification in my game other than if the girl is not responding to me how I like then she is not good enough for me, but I would overlook it and keep going. I would have total belief in her value because she is hot. There is pretty much no qualification in my game except that if a girl did have a lot of qualities I liked I would get oneitis and if she did not I would just see her as a fuck. I am still doing my best to convey value to keep her into me whether or not I like her or just would like to fuck her, however, and get her to round out my total belief in myself and in what I am saying and doing with IOIs toward the value I am conveying.
I saw an approach as me opening the girl then getting myself into state by self-amusing and framing it so my self-amusement is valuable so she would choose me. This would lead to situations where I am all ready in state, but I would not approach because I felt I did not have enough value to convey besides just being in state. State was just another tool I could use to convey value and if she did not accept the value I was conveying as valuable to her too while I was in state then being in state would go to waste because I am relying on her liking me and giving me IOIs to allow me to believe 100% in what I am saying and doing.
Self-amusing while creating comfort and conveying value until she begins to accept my value and allows me to believe in my value fully from both mine and her's perspectives.
Feeling good about myself and once I have 100% belief in it conveying it in my subcommunications to show how I like myself as a part of my conveying value frame
Subcommunicating from a place of where I feel value and hopefully she shall feel it as value too and like me, laugh, giggle, flirt, and go along with me as I self-amuse and everyone is happy.
Not giving a fuck
I would do it in a way to show that I am comfortable with saying or doing whatever I want as part of my self-amusement and it sets up this communication where I can say or do whatever I want, but if the girl ever gets uncomfortable I must frame it as value and show her I care about her to build enough comfort before she shall accept it and I can continue to not give a fuck 100% again.
This is tied to my fear of rejection and if I have built enough total belief in how me opening is value to her and that she shall accept it in the situation she is in. If I have enough belief I can open and if she IOIs my approach, then I can commit 100% until then I am on the fence doing my best to get her to pull her over.
I understood social momentum as the more people I talk with the more energy I have built up and the easier it is to keep myself a social feel good state if I have been conveying enough value by self-amusing with several people and sets and it has been working I have built up more belief and my shit hits, but every time I start a new set my belief is back at 99%, so I can only build up so much momentum.
I self-amuse make myself laugh and hopefully she gets pulled into it and laughs with me and likes me. Otherwise, I have to go in my head and think why is she not laughing or ignore it and plow until she does like it.
I convey so much value she submits to it because it feels so much stronger than hers. My dominance is dependent on her liking me. Otherwise, I am a happy and try hard chode.
If she tests me I need to convey value that feels stronger than what she is saying and makes her doubt herself and then continue using the conversation to self-amuse, so I keep it fun for me and hopefully she likes that and feels my frame is stronger because she now sees I really am congruent with this self-amusing feel good guy I am conveying and she chooses me.
CHANGES IN MY THINKING AS A RESULT OF HOT SEAT 2
Self-amusement, solidness, and total belief in myself and in what I am saying and doing is 100% valuable independent of what the girl believes because it does not matter if she believes in me in order for me to believe in myself and especially does not require for her to like me before I can believe in myself and what I am saying, doing, and be committed to it 100% . Attraction from a girl goes much deeper to a much more raw level beyond whether or not she likes me. It is how committed I am to myself and my belief in myself and the expectations I put on her from this place of total belief in myself and in what I am saying and doing. Believing 100% in myself and in what I am saying and doing is what being myself is all about. Which, on a sidenote, is what I have always wanted. I have always wanted to attract girls by being myself.
If I am coming from a conveying value frame it is because I do not feel entitled. I all ready knew this, but I had not internalized it until I saw what Owen was doing in the videos. He says whatever he wants he does not give a fuck about what the girl thinks of him because his perception of attraction goes beyond whether or not the girl chooses to like him. He says some fucking stupid ass shit ridiculous shit that is to the point of insulting to the girl with no regard for her objections. It is awesome how effortless it is when he talks.
I am focusing on how tight my state is and self-referencing for when I feel out of state. It is as easy as deciding to be awesome and adjusting any subtleties that are off i.e. entitlement, intent, speaking for myself rather than to vibe with the girl, am I being the buyer or the seller. Again, it all comes down to 100% belief in myself, what I am saying and doing, my reality, being 100% committed to it, and with 100% belief of the expectation it shall reciprocate from her. My belief in myself is too good for her to rely on approval and I do not depend on her for my belief.
If I feel myself trying to get her to like me at any point, it is game over because I am pinging off her. This is not how attracting a woman happens.
I must believe in myself in spite of what anyone else thinks of me. If I am at any point pinging of others to validate my belief in myself or what I am doing my commitment and belief to myself is compromised and I am weak and my reality is weak. This is where Don't Give A Fuck applies because I do not give a fuck how much anyone else believes in me and my commitment to what I am saying and doing I generate my own belief and move with 100% commitment to my purpose/intent.
HOT SEAT 2 NOTES
(I am aware that the notes are in a bit of a random order, but I am writing them down as Owen would bring them up and also I could not write down everything he said so there are a lot of gaps in between them from when we were watching videos or when I chose to just listen instead of focus on writing shit down. There is a lot of repetition in the notes because Owen was focusing on the process and how the fundamentals are present throughout the process and would show us the videos so we could see how it looks like in different situations on different night in different places. Nothing beats being there so you can see the footage, but here is a look into what was being said.)
Owen starts off the event by posing the question: What are you going to get out of this event?
Newbies overload mind-blowing like I am watching shit that is completely out of my reality happen
Intermediate If I am intermediate it means I have had flashes of success, but now I shall be able to achieve consistency
Advanced Subtleties Owen says that even he still learns from advanced guys in the sense that they just trade what each other does and see how others handle the same situations I will learn how to slightly
shift my game when I am slightly off It is subtle fluctuations in my intent expectation if I am evaluating her that I shall become aware of an how it affects my state.
So, depending on my level, my RAS is tuned into different things at different stages.
The next thirty days are crucial. I need to treat what he is teaching as if I paid $30,000 dollars to go to this seminar. He says “I want you to be pissed off at me for making you pay so much($30,000) for this shit that way you implement it as much as you can to ensure you get the most out of it."
1 Clarity of Intent
Alignment in intent emotions feelings and actions and how committed am I to it if it is even one percent off she I shall not pull
Evaluating a girl not trying to think of what to say in an attempt to convey value when I do not have enough entitlement I go in my head and I begin to strategize how can I convey value. I have no doubts about taking
up her time and space.
3 Buyer Seller
I show interest then I am waiting for her to sell herself to me. This is the ideal dynamic. I am interested, but not sold.
The example Owen used is pretend I have ten thousand dollars and I go in to best buy to purchase a television. I would go up to the salesman and express my interest in a television, but I would evaluate what he is trying to sell me much more deeply than if I went in hoping I have enough money to buy the one I want.
Girls fuck for two reasons:
1 Increase in self-image(validation)
2 Raw sexual attraction
Owen tells a story to exemplify self-image validation about how he had a gay guy come on one of his boot camps and all the guy was saying is how he just wants someone who does not want him. The girl has to feel like she is not good enough for me because her approval and belief in me has no affect on me. I do not need her. I come from a place above her and this is all sub-communicated in how the dynamic between me and her is setup. Self-image vaidation is based on her feeling that she is not good enough not me showing her how good I am, so when she has sex with me her self-image is increased.
There are counterexamples to the above two reasons.
1Moby is a guy who sparks no raw attraction, but gives the girl self-image validation.
2The gangster black guy who gets the rich white girls wet, but as wet as she gets she knows that he does this to all the girls and she usually does not fuck him because it does not result in self-image validation.
I am fully committed to who I am and believe in what I am saying and doing not her and without her. I am the buyer she is the seller. She is externally validate and I am not. I talk to entertain myself for my intent and for my purposes and feel good on my own and 100% believe in myself.
I walk up and I still show clear intent in my intentions, but then I am evaluating her like you are hot, but I am not sold on you yet thus causing her to rely on me to determine how much she can believe i herself and value in the situation. I am always better.
Owen shows us three videos on silent, so we can see the differences in intent when interacting with a woman. His intent is much clearer in each one. In the first video, he is sort of committed to the interaction. It is solid she is into him, but he is just sort of standing there. In the second one, he is evaluating the girl a lot more and is a bit more committed, but he is still just standing there. She is responding a lot more positively though leaning in and grabbing on him. In the third video, he shows him pulling this fucking HB8.8 in Hermosa Beach. She was trying to get into a taxi van and he tells us what he is saying. As he walks up to the van, he opens her with "do not get in that taxi, come with me instead, so I can molest you in the alley". In this interaction, he ends up picking the girl up and carrying her around. She has her legs wrapped around him and she is laughing and he is all up on her. He is committed to what he wants to do 100% and his intent is aligned and is crystal clear.
Owen pauses the video and shows us the last interaction with the HB8.8 again. He says “what are most guys looking at when they have a girl like this standing in front of them?” He moves the mouse pointer to her tits because she had some nice big tits and she was showing lots of cleavage. “They are looking at this. Do you want to know what I am looking at? I am looking here(he moves the mouse pointer over her eyes). I am looking for this flash in her eyes” In the video, the girls eyes are wide fucking open. “Here let me show you what I mean look at her eyes” He rewinds the video a few seconds and plays it and I watch her eyes and it shows that when Owen moves her from the taxi there is this moment where she looks into his eyes and when he looks right back at her without flinching or breaking state or reacting in any way WITH TOTAL BELIEF IN HIMSELF AND IN WHAT HE IS DOING he is totally dominanting her and he is dominant with his 100% belief in himself, what he is doing, and his 100% belief of how he expects her to react to him. She is overwhelmed by it and her eyes widen(this is the flash he referred to) and at that precise moment Owen knows he has her and picks her up and she wraps his legs around him and she is giggling and smiling. I was like that was fucking amazing and she is a fucking legit hottie,. He dominated her and took advantage of it that easily, quickly, smoothly and it was so natural that none of us noticed it at first, WOW.
Owen says that the way guys look at a girl’s ass and tits to check her out and it is considered vulgar to do so that girls do the exact same shit except they look at a man’s eyes to check his strength. He would show us video after video where he opens strong and the first thing the girl does is eye check him and every time she would shrink before his gaze.
Girls look me in the eye to check for my sense of entitlement, how grounded I am in my intent, that I do not give a fuck, how tight my state is. Again, it is all about 100% total belief in myself without needing her. I am dominating her with my belief in myself and it is obvious in my eyes. I am looking at her in the sense of I am too good for you without you. I believe in myself and in my frame and I do not need you.
Every time the girl's eye checked Owen in the videos the girl would shrink her body language a bit and would begin to take on behaviors where she is qualifying herself or looking to Owen for how to act and everything Owen would say would fucking hit. There were even videos he showed us where the girl would not look at him in the eyes. Owen said that she was not looking on purpose. He would just keep his intent, entitlement, and buyer mentality with 100% belief in himself, what he is saying and doing, being 100% committed to it, and his 100% belief of how he expects her to react to him until eventually she would shrink or begin acting like the seller. He has no problem grabbing a girl touching her moving her lifting her up holding her hand yelling at her doing whatever the fuck he wants because he is strong in his intent, entitlement, and buyer mentality even if the girl had not accepted Owen as having the dominant belief structure yet eventually the girl is overpowered.
Owen is not at any point trying to get her to like him and if he is it is because his entitlement is low.
If I ever do feel anything during staring her down it is a look where she is not good enough. I am completely dominating her with my look and holding the tension calmly, strongly, and from a place of 100% belief in myself, what I am saying and doing, being 100% committed to it, and 100% belief of how I expect her to react to me. I am standing and taking up space, slowly moving ahead at my pace, talking for myself. I am not at 99% belief needing her to give me that last percent and allow myself to 100% believe in myself. I do not need her.
Remember, if at the end of the day playing the game is not fun, stressful, and I hate it, then I am not playing the game right. Am I strategizing and in my head during sets or am I completely chill and enjoying myself? I am chill and enjoying because I am not trying to validate that last percent of belief off her. I do not need her to believe in me to feel good about myself and have a good time being myself and she feels it.
Opening is like trying to land the plane sometimes it is smooth, shaky, or crash and burn.
If I have 100% expectation she shall open. This is the same as the way I hold the tension when I stare at her. There is 100% belief in my total expectation of how it shall affect her physically and emotionally in everything I do. I do not need her to believe in me to believe in myself.
Owen shows us a 45 minute compilation of him opening
His openers are he points at the girl and says you or you know how to party or pulls her in and says who are you. One is him making a stupid face at a girl then making stupid noises blur blur blah blur and sticking his tongue out and wiggling up and down at her. She laughs and he says did you eat dog earlier today (She is a cute asian with a tight body) and she laughs and he just moves in fucking stupid shit and he is killing with it
Yell to take control do anything and do it with intent and 100% belief in myself, what I am saying and doing, being 100% committed to it, and 100% belief in how I expect her to react to me in order to cut thru the shit and I hold the tension afterwards
My state is holding the tension, acting of my intent, and evaluating her with 100% belief in myself, what I am saying and doing, being 100% committed to it, and 100% belief in how I expect her to react to me. The girl is always the one breaking under the tension.
I reference myself for state if I ever feel my state decreasing, becoming weak, or if I am out of state. I am not pinging off my environment for state. I might need to do some approaches to build momentum, but this is more so I can feel where my state is and make adjustments rather than pump myself up with every interaction. It is better to take action and do something than walk around waiting for yourself to feel it.
It is where my focus is during an interaction how do I feel am I open closed am I referencing myself for state or her? I think state is another way of saying believing in myself and in what I am saying and doing and the more I do the stronger my state gets and the better I feel in what I am saying and doing as I am being myself.
She is checking to see if her looking at me shrinks me her reality rolls me over because I need her to believe in me and accept me.
Get good at staring at girls in the eyes and staying centered in my intent, entitlement, and being the evaluator with 100% belief in myself without needing her.
My eye contact is solid. My belief in myself is too good for her and without her.
After she feels my state in my eyes, words, or actions and that it is flowing out of me from a place of self-reference it is game over for her.
Once I do not shrink and she feels me self referencing my state she shrinks game over
If she does not give me flash of her eyes she shall shit test maintain self referencing state my belief is too good for her without her I do not need her centered in my intent and entitlement and evaluation of her 100% belief in myself, what I am saying and doing, being 100% committed to it, and 100% belief in how I expect her to react to me. I am not trying to be witty or clever or vibe with her. I am just too good for her and without her because of my 100% belief and she knows it that is why she keeps testing me. I am unreactive and I am saying and doing what I want 100% expecting her to react to me how I intend.
I have this I am completely myself without you look in my eye
Owen grabs the girl when he wants to and he always feels entitled to do so and she checks his eyes to see if his state is tight without her she feels his dominance (Note to reader: By tight I mean at the beginning of the night when your state is not tight you are kind of sucking like blah acting out of auto pilot and you are not completely 100% believing in yourself, in what you are saying or doing or unclear in your intent about how or what you will do, not 100% believing in what how you are expecting the girl to react to you how you want even unclear in your intent of how you expect her to react to you. As the night progresses you become more clear in your intent and you act with 100% belief in yourself, what you say and do, being 100% committed to it, and 100% belief in how you expect her to react to you, and everything you do is without any doubt, hesitation, or lacking purpose. You tighten up your expression so it is clear and strong instead of half-committed and weak. This is building momentum. The more sets you do the clearer your intent becomes and is expressed as your belief in it goes from half-assed and lazy to full on beast mode)
He makes her flinch then watches her squirm qualify and he yells takes control he has that possessed dominant look where I know my belief in myself, what I say and do, and how I expect her to react to me is too good for her an without her and I am evaluating her. I am interested, but not sold.
Slow commanding booming voice
Talk commanding with a tone like I am talking shit giving orders(not literally talking shit or giving orders just that same tone) saying whatever stupid shit pops into my head
She likes feeling my dominance over her with my feeling of 100% belief in myself
Grab her square her up so we are facing each other and dominate her with my feeling of 100% belief in myself
Owen tells us how he can help us cure our approach anxiety as long as we follow these two mindsets:
1 Social experiment frame: Everything is an experiment just me seeing how it goes it is not a big deal. This way I have freedom from outcome.
2 Social momentum frame v self-image frame: Each approach is tightening my state so I am building more momentum(in my belief) going in to my next set. When Owen knows his state is not tight enough he does not
escalate as hard on a girl and focuses more on tightening his state, so by the end of the night he pulls the hottest girl.
When someone has the self-image frame they approach in order to validate their self-image and if anything goes wrong during their interaction it fuck up their belief of their self-image because they are relying on how others perceive them to validate how they perceive themselves. Owen does not give a fuck about this he is approaching to get his state tight and because of this he does not get hung up on I do not want to approach because I might look bad or I might get rejected. Every set, independent of the outcome, is a momentum builder.
Spectator frame I am the observer
Momentum frame I am acting building frame every approach is building momentum
Lowest criteria for success
For instance, if my criteria to allow myself to have fun is just to approach and say whatever I want to say then I can build momentum
The fewer requirements I have to allow myself to have fun the better. If I have like ten things I need to accomplish before I can feel good about myself that is when the game stops being fun.
This is how it should be for having fun and fo believing in myself.
When I am out of state I feel scatterbrained and my intent is unclear uncertain when I am in state I am in alignment in intent emotions feelings and actions and how committed am I to them and it is clear in my expression eye contact body language voice taking up of her time and space actions I have momentum and I have gotten my state tight. This all equates to 100% belief in myself, what I am saying and doing, being 100% committed to it, and 100% belief in how I expect her to react to me.
She shrinks under my eye contact that is communcating 100% belief in myself, what I am saying and doing, being 100% committed to it, and 100% belief in how I expect her to react to me.
My self-image is just a guy having fun not a guy who needs to pickup girls
Every set I am building momentum and getting my state tighter.
The more I take up a girl’s space the more I am tightening my entitlement
I am focusing on my state self-referencing tightening it up and evaluating her once she shrinks and lighting her up with my tight state
She knows I could do this with any girl she is not good enough for me. This gives her self-image validation for fucking me because she feels that I do this to lots of girls, but I do not fuck all of them.
I am feeling how tight my state is how much I feel entitled to take up her space and time and say what I want, how clearly am I communicating my intent and how committed I am(how strong is my total belief in myself and in what am saying and doing being fully committed to it and how I expect her to react to me), how much I am evaluating her, how much I am self-amusing, how tight is my state(versus thinking am I in state it is more like how tight is my state), Is my RAS am I vibing off what she says or I am talking for myself saying what I want even just stopping to check where my RAS is loosening my thinking for myself doing what I want because now I am checking for her because I actually do not give a fuck, how comfortable am I with silence, how I am evaluating her, how much abundance do I have I do not give a fuck about her because she is not good enough for me
When I am in alignment in intent emotions feelings and actions and how committed am I to them and how I expect her to react I am congruent
She can’t break my wall of self-amusement she tests me or stares into my eyes and there is this wall of 100% belief in myself, what I am saying and doing, I am 100% committed to it, and I have 100% belief in how I expect her to react to me and I am self-amusing myself through it she can not see or break through I managing my feel good state by self-referencing voice voice voice eye contact dominating evaluating I am dominating you I am good enough without you look in my eye
Dead stare dominating watching her keeping her emotions how I want she is stuck in theemotions of validation not me
Completely moving free and with ease
No matter how suck and out of state I feel I accept it and go out and pull anyways remember I am building momentum with every set
People shitting on me reminds me to draw belief from within it should increase my awareness of how tight my belief in myself, in what I am saying and doing, how committed I am to it, and how much I believe how I expect others to act is and where anything is not 100% yet
Owen puts a number in one digit off so if it is real she can correct it and if it is fake she shall be like yes that is it when he shows it to her and he knows it is fake if this happes he gets the interaction more solid and then tell her his phone did not store her number and gets it a second time
Be at the cause not the effect
Effect is waiting for the person to reciprocate because I am gaining belief out of every time they validate what I say my eye contact body language how dominant I am being through them believing in it too
My belief is at the cause she is feeling how much I believe in myself
Momentum the more I open manage my belief the more momentum I build rejection is a tool for centering my belief in myself and building momentum
The girl is reflecting how tight my belief is when everything I listed above is solid she shall not be able to deny it and she shall shrink at the beginning of the night is when it is most likely to be ou of state
Slow my voice and pace down, so it is more commanding
Buyer seller dynamic self-amusing talking about what I want leading how I want if I being to lose my self-amusement I start spitting out random shit for my self-amusement because it does not have to be perfect lowest criteria for success
Use what she says for my self-amusement and associate it with things I like to spit out for my self-amusement
Self-amuse say what I want rather than vibing off her shit trying to take what she says and make it sound cool clever framing everything she does as beautiful and perfect she is a princess she is so perfect I am not a yes man I challenge her by not validating her personality and character just because she is hot
As soon as I say something I do not want to I am incongruent the girl shall not respect me as a man she hates me for it
If I ever start to feel committed like we have a special connection it shall fuck my deep abundance mentality reflected in what I say because it attaches outcome dependence to my words It shall be cool when we hang out I should not take away her emotional investment by being more emotionally invested than her or for her leave the gap so she can fill it this is relating
When they shit on me I continue to self-amuse and reference myself fr belief in myself
I use the game to self-amuse as soon as it gets me serious or I am no longer self amusing having fun GAME OVER
Owen showed us videos where girls would talk shit to him and threaten to kick his ass and he would remain congruent with self-assured self-image of he is a cool guy and in his intent talking for himself entitlement or where guys would try to push him away and he would keep trying to get to the girl or where guys try to tell him they are her girlfriend and he knows she is single and he starts yelling LIAR LIAR LIAR and keeps at it and starts telling her can I just tell you bye to get her to come in and hug and keep interacting with her or video where the boyfriend comes and gets in his face and Owen is just cool and tells the guy there is no need to be a dick Videos of him being rejected and he uses it to build momentum every video was crafted to show the entire process regardless of what is happening the process all depends on you
Last five tips he told us to write down at the end of the event
I make my brain do what I want by doing what I want despite my brain rationalizing fear when I act in spite of it it shall shift my RAS to flood me with ways to do what I want rather than rationalize against it thru fear
Open without thinking build momentum
Minimize time between approaches to make the best use of time and build momentum
Approach girls I have emotional investment because they are so hot in spite of bad state in order to let my brain DGAF and shift the RAS so it releases chill solid self-amusement fully invested/committed to myself not her the outcome or anything else
Always follow principles they work total belief in the process and in myself and what I am saying and doing during the process never think ahead when self-amusing
It is not what you say it is how you say it
Simplest topics focus on the energy and expression not the small shit
After the video portion of the event was over we did four exercises:
Emotional expression exercise
We told the story of how our trip to the event was, but the purpose was to stretch it out as much as possible and focus on the emotions in the story rather than the facts.
We would talk about what we learned that day while everyone fucked with us I literally got picked up and shaked upside down while talking and we were suppose to maintain our frame this is the part of your frame where nothing can fuck with you
Free association exercise
One guy would talk and using a word in the previous exercise would make a new sentence they did not have to make sense all you had to do is keep going and focus on the expression behind it
We would, one at a time, quiet our mind and say the first word that appeared for a minute.
Owen says that this is what it should feel like when we talk. Our conversation should just arise from nothing in our head. He recommends twenty minutes of meditation a day for us and then closes by telling us that he writes the content for alumni and, I am not just saying this to suck RSD’s dick, everything I had read online was completely clear to me after attending Hot Seat 2. I am glad I had read all that I did before going because once I went everything just hit me like a ton of dynamite like a fucking vacuum bomb explosion inside my head of awesomeness :)
In closing, I believe all this Owen taught me was just to teach me
Feeling confidence in me without needing to feel it from others.
Instead of anxiety, all I feel now as I approach is confidence
Instead of how can I convey value, all I think is nothing
Amid the Storm, Always remember who you are You are what you create. The pie is best shared. Have Fun
Posted July 28th, 2011 at 5:46 PM
Posted July 29th, 2011 at 8:13 AM
DGAF? What's that about?
Good report btw
Good report btw
The London Crew
The London Crew
Posted July 29th, 2011 at 7:38 PM
Owen says that this is what it should feel like when we talk. Our conversation should just arise from nothing in our head.
And if nothing comes up..... ?
And if nothing comes up..... ?
Posted July 29th, 2011 at 8:16 PM
Posted July 29th, 2011 at 9:23 PM
Posted July 31st, 2011 at 9:19 AM
Posted August 4th, 2011 at 8:57 PM
Fuck what a decent review
What do the best guys have on their mind when approaching a hottie? ANSWER: Absolutely Nothing ~ Tyler
"There is nothing more rewarding than working hard and accomplishing your goals, and there is almost no better reward than having a healthy awesome relationship with a super cool girl." ~Brad
"There is nothing more rewarding than working hard and accomplishing your goals, and there is almost no better reward than having a healthy awesome relationship with a super cool girl." ~Brad