THE FORUMS

October 16th, 2017
Being Yourself: that's all there is to it, seriously.
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#51

zoom

Respected Member

Join Date: 04/24/2011 | Posts: 305

@ progress-now

I have a question out of curiosity

Picture a club or day time setting, you have one really hot girl.

In corner A you have fat average dude, however this dude is completely himself, he is the definition of “be yourself” in all its glory like you put in your post.

In corner B we have Tom Brady, tall, handsome and the “pinnacle” of male success in our societies eyes.

Both guys go for the same hot girl

Who is going to win?
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#52

Victor4real

Respected Member

Join Date: 07/18/2011 | Posts: 522

progress-now wrote:
 Victor, this is no different than the encyclopedic post you did on "the fundamentals of pick up".  All writing about pick up is mental masterbation.  Every second spent on these forums and not out at the clubs taking action is mental masterbation.

Victor, go get laid and leave us alone.
Victor4real wrote:
 Again, this is just fucking mental masturbation. Its a RATIONALISATION when a guy gets success, or are very successfull generally, then its ok to "just be himself". When ure a fucking loser its not. Period. Everything else than that is just fucking bullshit rationalisations like "oh yeah you know its the fault of social conditioning... else I would be alpha male!!" NO damnit, in EVERY tribe there are a FEW at the top, that does NOT mean that the betamales "aint themselves".

Its just crazy how much you turn and twist things around in your brain damnit, crazyness, total crazyness

"Leave us alone", u mean u guys who write crap mental masturbation at the forums and gets laid once a month? you better start listening to the guys who actually GETS laid and stop the fucking overcomplication of bullshit
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#53

Victor4real

Respected Member

Join Date: 07/18/2011 | Posts: 522

zoom wrote:
@ progress-now

I have a question out of curiosity

Picture a club or day time setting, you have one really hot girl.

In corner A you have fat average dude, however this dude is completely himself, he is the definition of “be yourself” in all its glory like you put in your post.

In corner B we have Tom Brady, tall, handsome and the “pinnacle” of male success in our societies eyes.

Both guys go for the same hot girl

Who is going to win?
I guess progress-now is going to make some rationalisation now, like "well TOm Brady is himself more cause he is more successfull which is a result of him being himself while fat dude isnt living according to his genetic makeup and therefor he isnt himself so thats why Tom will get the girl" - again, cirle rationalisation argument which his post 99% consist of
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#54

XXL

Respected Member

Join Date: 03/16/2011 | Posts: 491

yup this thread is about topic that is too vague to put your finger on it and come into one good conclusion. aka blabing
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#55
ambiguity

ambiguity

Trusted Member

Join Date: 10/28/2009 | Posts: 5330

Mate, that Bob Proctor video is awesome.

Like he was saying, as you shift your level of awareness, your paradigm will change. This is what controls your behavior which has immediate control on the outcome.

It takes time, you gain experience, your level of awareness increases, and you become more comfortable with girls.

Things like pulling girls, make outs, random hook ups, and even ditching girls is something you understand.

It happens once you make that connection and until then, its all really a chess game of trial and error.

Too much stock is emphasized on pulling, tactics, game, etc when, little if any of this stuff makes sense half the times.

For instance, I hooked up with this girl fairly recently, and she was saying how she fucked some other guy after being cheated on pretty much immediately.

Likely, a case of anti defense so, she felt the need to explain herself and the why? Well, this guy got his feelers involved, all emotionally attached, and she was not having it.

This probably memorizes pick up material, is very awkward and quite obvious.

I did nothing and I pulled.

My part was walking through the door. She picked me up and well, carried it all from start to finish.

Its rather incongruent to say you feel awkwardness, a bunch of cognitive dissonance, the need to be more or entertainment for women, another words, feeling worthless, and yet, you like yourself and who you are?

Something isn't adding up here.

Just get more experience.

Its typical to want it all now but, mate, it does not work that way.

It is a gradual process. Enjoy the journey.
Talluer wrote:
I need help with something.

I've got this fucked up paradigm where I feel comfortable being me, but what I am isn't enough. Strong silent type you know? I'm a good looking dude, confident, successful, strong sense of direction and values.

My problem lies in the fact that I feel this need to be the entertainer with girls. It's like i'm not bringing enough value by being myself. How fucked does that sound, that's some tough shit to swallow on a daily basis. So I step outside my natural congruent personality and fumble around as entertainer man, telling jokes, trying to get people to vibe with me etc.

I don't know what direction I should take with my interactions, I get a lot of inital interest based purely on my looks and presence but things quickly fizzle because i'm not like all the super chatty, shiny, loud entertainer dudes who capture the girls attention. I fucking hate trying to act like someone i'm not just to impress, it makes my skin crawl and honestly turns me right off this whole pickup thing. I've been having issues for a while now and I think it's really boiled down to something of an identity crisis.

Essentially I don't see my current personality as attractive, but it's all me. I like myself, I like who I am. I don't know what direction to take here.
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Jlaix: You are rather cheeky I admit but the self amusing authentic avi makes it impossible to hate!
Tyler:This is ultimately one of the keys to the game -- viewing EVERYTHING AS A JOKE. It's ALL funny.
Tim:`How can I make this fun?
brad:This thread got Ambiguity banned, you can thank me later. Zack G: Ambiguity is becoming the Howard Roark of RSD!
Alex: "The famous ambiguity!" + "This is what happens when your naturally attractive; cheekyinnit#! Ambiguity: I don't chase, I replace.


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#56
MonkeyMind

MonkeyMind

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/04/2011 | Posts: 169

Tyler wrote:
You don't need a guide.  You just need a general idea and then to start figuring it out for yourself.

This was one of the reasons I didn't make "10 funky steps to internalize this" at the end of each chapter of Blueprint.  You need to be self reliant.

A starting point would be looking at where your personality is approval seeking, and has been formed in reaction to wanting to reach a standard created by the outside world.  Start forming your own values based on seeing the world through your own eyes, not group think.  Etc.

Tyler


DJMarco wrote:
Just be yourself is fine.

but the missing point is how?

for example.

Me personally comes from very traditional cultural background and my parents are very strict. So I have no fucking idea what is my real self look like. I don't know how to dig it up. I have no fucking idea what would I be like if I remove all social conditioning.

So the weird part about all this be yourself articals and even Blueprint is there is no HOW??

HOW do I find my true self?
HOW do I know if a part of my personality is my true self or social conditioning?
HOW do I recognize my true self if I even find it?

coz I don't know anything about what do my real self look like so I don't know where to look?
I am trying being in diffrent kind of personalities coz I have no idea who am I?

I think this artical might have ton of value but what I don't see is HOW.

if someone can write an artical about HOW TO FIND YOUR TRUE SELF: A PRACTICAL GUIDE.
knowing about "be yourself is useless"

DJM




...Subject becomes Object

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#57

ExtraordinaryDump

Senior Member

Join Date: 08/09/2010 | Posts: 282

You can;t just be yourself. You have insecurities that you need to surface before you can be yourself.Being yourself basically means, being so comfortable with yourself, that you become cool because of it.
 
You have to take action first, approach, get rejected, escalate, put yourself on the line, keep moving things forward, step up to your fears. the idea is to just keep going out, and just approaching until you are so comfortable escalating that you become the man.

Game is really a numbers game. Victor4Real you are going to sit here and tell me that you don't get rejections? Maybe girls don't tell you to fuck off, but have you ever felt that something needed to happen, in order to realign you with your intention. 

building momentum, and facing fears, its all their to realign you with your purpose. Thats why guys who are really good with women laugh it off when they get blown out, they all of sudden remember what they do want compared to what they don't. Thats where intention comes from.

You get blown out you get butthurt, or you laugh it off. However now your realigned with your actual intention.The best guys know that you have to take the punches before you can drink the lemonade. Eventually you will be numbed from so many punches, heres the kicker... it doesn't mean youre not gonna keep getting punched?

Instructors still get blownout, naturals with outer/inner game still have to do warmups. Its doesn;t mean the first sets are going to tell you to fuck off, it just means you have to realign yourself with intention.

Don't go out for 2 weeks, and see how that affests your game. when you go out again, you got to realign again even if it means by getting blown out in the first few rounds.
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#58

ExtraordinaryDump

Senior Member

Join Date: 08/09/2010 | Posts: 282

zoom wrote:
@ progress-now

I have a question out of curiosity

Picture a club or day time setting, you have one really hot girl.

In corner A you have fat average dude, however this dude is completely himself, he is the definition of “be yourself” in all its glory like you put in your post.

In corner B we have Tom Brady, tall, handsome and the “pinnacle” of male success in our societies eyes.

Both guys go for the same hot girl

Who is going to win?
We live in a subjective reality bro. A multiverse.

One where every possibility happens based on each individuals perspective. The answer to that question is both win as they are valid concrete outcomes in existence.

However Tom would win, as this resonates more with what we hold to be true in our own perspectives.
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#59

RagingHormones

Senior Member

Join Date: 07/27/2011 | Posts: 280

zoom wrote:
@ progress-now

I have a question out of curiosity

Picture a club or day time setting, you have one really hot girl.

In corner A you have fat average dude, however this dude is completely himself, he is the definition of “be yourself” in all its glory like you put in your post.

In corner B we have Tom Brady, tall, handsome and the “pinnacle” of male success in our societies eyes.

Both guys go for the same hot girl

Who is going to win?

There is an outside chance the fat guy has a shot... say if the chick really likes fat guys LOL.     

Not too many women like fat guys though.  I pick Brady. 
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#60

zoom

Respected Member

Join Date: 04/24/2011 | Posts: 305

Victor4real wrote:

zoom wrote:
@ progress-now

I have a question out of curiosity

Picture a club or day time setting, you have one really hot girl.

In corner A you have fat average dude, however this dude is completely himself, he is the definition of “be yourself” in all its glory like you put in your post.

In corner B we have Tom Brady, tall, handsome and the “pinnacle” of male success in our societies eyes.

Both guys go for the same hot girl

Who is going to win?
I guess progress-now is going to make some rationalisation now, like "well TOm Brady is himself more cause he is more successfull which is a result of him being himself while fat dude isnt living according to his genetic makeup and therefor he isnt himself so thats why Tom will get the girl" - again, cirle rationalisation argument which his post 99% consist of
What people are starting to believe

A: Being myself / no ego -- > Attractive behaviors --> Getting girl

How it really is

B: Accomplishments due to hard work, taking risk, developing abilites/skills --- > Confidence based on tangible results and real value ---> Strongest reality thus no need to supplicate, be reactive etc A.K.A being myself -- >Attractive behaviors --> getting the girl

Why A may work is because no one today really calls you out on your BS and thus you can fake confidence and still get some results. The point with Tom Brady is that his value is real, forget about his looks cause its a sensitive subject here but he is damn successful not through luck but through hard work and determination.

The problem is that people start to think that "being myself" is whats gets the girls, which is completely wrong. Your achievements ultimately is what gets the girls, thus you stand no chance against Tom Brady, his confidence is real. "Being myself" confidence is fake and that headspace is meant to have you behave like an attractive guy, but don't confuse it with something real.

Why cant people instead say:

"I am learning how to model an attractive guys behavior, and because of the circumstances with abundance of hot girls and hordes of chodes this will be enough to land me good results”

The above is completely fine, what bothers me is when people go into fantasy land and start to create completely new reasons for what attracts girls, like “Being myself”, “No ego” etc.

There is nothing magical about it, confidence gets girls, you can fake that or have real confidence. Due to circumstances faking it will work until you are put up against something real either thorough direct competition or in-direct competition like a girl who already has Tom Brady as a boyfriend before you roll up to her at the club.
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