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October 31st, 2014
Girlfriend Obedience Training *This is controversial and it is true* - Relation Leadership Tools
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Awesome F

Awesome F

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Join Date: 10/28/2010 | Posts: 308

This is controversial and it is true

Society requires leaders to function, being a Man means leading your family and before you can lead your family you have to lead your girl or rather future wife, mother of your kids. Behind every strong woman there is a strong man. I have adapted simple obedience laws to relationship management. Warning this may not be aligned to your current rule book and thus may cause offence to the prudish.
Where there is no vision, the people perish.
~Proverbs 29:18What Is Girlfriend/Target Leadership Training for Obedience Purposes?
I, like most of us believe that girlfriend/target training for obedience is taboo and an essential ingredient in any healthy relationship. But what exactly is girlfriend obedience training, and why is it so important for you and your girlfriend/target?

Obedience is NOT ownership – It is your expectance of future behavior. This happens naturally and in an uncontrolled manner during the foundation stages of a relationship. What I draw attention to is how many successful leaders cultivate obedience by aligning rules books and setting the laws that command the interaction.
Obedience training can be achieved through the many various techniques such as response training, positive reinforcement, marker training, collar and leash, reward training etc.). Regardless of which training technique you choose to employ this is what proper girlfriend/target obedience training should accomplish:

1. Build or strengthen a close, healthy and appropriate relationship between you and your girlfriend.
2. Opens up a clear line of communication between you and your girl. This includes you knowing what to expect of your girl in all circumstances, and your girlfriend/target clearly understanding and respecting what is expected of her. 3. Girlfriend Training for Obedience lays down a set of rules or boundaries which educates your girl to become a responsible member of society. Including how to relate to other girlfriends or targets, basic manners and how to behave in any situation.
4. Establishes the groundwork which assists in preventing the development of unacceptable problem behavior - such as fighting, shouting, unproductive jealously etc
.
Example is not the main thing in influencing others, it is the only thing.
~Albert SchweitzerThe Benefits
Leading is the only thing she or society will actually respond to in a real way and thus will strengthen your grip on your life.

Successful training makes life simple to your girlfriend/target and eliminates confusion. They will know there place in your world and understand right from wrong. People seem to really appreciate and thrive on this black and white view of the world. Giving them a box to play in. This sets a frame work for the relationship similar to a employment contract. (example:this is what I expect from you and in return I will)
Fun and rewarding for both you and your girlfriend - for me, this is what it's all about!
You'll have a happy, relaxed and confident partner who you can take anywhere and will be a pleasure to be around. Greater freedom can also be extended to your girlfriend/target, as you both will have a deep and trustworthy connection once you are both trained.
You gain trust and mutual respect with your girlfriend as she understands what is expected of her and knows that you will always be fair and consistent with this.
When your girlfriend/target is trained in obedience she will be fine around family, friends and not act in an undesired manner.’ bringing a girl home to meet your mother’
Training fulfills some crucial needs in your relationship including exercise, mental stimulation, spending time with you and providing your girlfriend role in the relationship equal to your own.
Greatly reduces the risk of being locked in a dominance struggle with your girlfriend/target. You'll be her strong and always fair leader, who she'll respect and look to for guidance.

The Danger in Not Giving

It is a common trait for untrained girlfriend to challenge your leadership or authority. But when you are proficient in obedience training you'll have the tools to deal with it.


If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.
~John Quincy Adams
General Rules and Tools

Praise and reward your girlfriend/target when she does what you ask of her, give an appropriate correction when she doesn't do what she has been taught to do. The key is to find the right balance for your girlfriend/target. Your basic push pull should not end at the pickup.
Don't expect your girlfriend/target to just know this stuff straight away. Repetition of the command and the action is crucial. Believe in what you are doing and stick to it.
Always be consistent (this includes everybody who rolls with you and your girlfriend), make it easy for your girlfriend/target. Give them a simple decision to make and make it clear to them whose choice is acceptable and which choice is unacceptable - provide instant feedback.
Never correct or punish your girlfriend/target for not doing something she has not been properly taught to do - be realistic and fair.
Create a system of punishment in stages if she decides to break the rules and enforce this system without hesitation as you both need to know where you stand,
Take it slow, master one easy command to start with then move on and build upon it. Continue to mentally challenge and stimulate your girlfriend/target throughout the training process. This can be incorporated into your routines as stories to be indirect however once you are congruent with your rules simply present them direct. Such as ‘if you start acting all weird calling me ten times a day that is breaking the rules (insert the future punishment as a warning here) I don’t accept that kind of behavior and (insert punishment system here)
This is not meant to be playful as with other tools, this is a solid base for her to set foundations and understanding the rules of your world is explicit to that aim.
You're the best person to perform these tasks. Your girlfriend has to live with you, your family and friends which are now her pack and you must be the person she looks to for leadership and who she respects most. Her Pack Leader. She is not the Pack Leader, You are.
The led must not be compelled; they must be able to choose their own leader.
~Albert Einstein
Test or proof the obedience commands in different situations, environment and with added distractions. You can either avoid the tricky situation or have tools to deal with them. If you require you girl to act in a certain way do not assume she knows how to act you must indicate to her and test in field, reward good behavior and give feedback.
Incorporate obedience training into your daily routine - your girlfriend/target could perform a task before you give her something she wants or needs this could be as simple as dinner or a toothpaste cap to Sex, love or affection.
Never try to correct your girlfriend/target for past transgressions, if you don't catch them in the act of doing wrong, timing your correction is all important. A late correction only confuses and doesn't make anchor in the present. They will backward rationalize the correction to make sense in a comfortable way to them. Not to the rules which you set.
Find out what motivates your girlfriend/target, this will be an important tool in your training sessions. The Pandora stuff can help with that from Vin DiCarlo or ask her.
Work with the natural drives and instincts of your girlfriend - this will explained further within the articles below.
Men are required to be leaders, Leaders’ are required to lead.
~Me
‘Leadership should be born out of the understanding of the needs of those who would be affected by it.’
~Marian Anderson
‘The very essence of leadership is its purpose. And the purpose of leadership is to accomplish a task. That is what leadership does–and what it does is more important than what it is or how it works.’
~Colonel Dandridge M. Malone
Where there is no vision, the people perish.
~Proverbs 29:18
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#1
Jack of Hearts

Jack of Hearts

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Join Date: 01/14/2008 | Posts: 1022

too long, didn't read. but the title gf obedience training sounds fucking wrong. if you mean setting clear boundaries then yes.
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#2
Awesome F

Awesome F

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Join Date: 10/28/2010 | Posts: 308

If you read the introduction I do give a clear warning that you may not be comfortable with it. It is not something I made up by feedback. It is how it works. Either you are aware of it and use at a conscious level or your sub conscious will do these things for you so you feel better about it. Either way it’s happening. It’s not ‘setting clear boundaries’ its controlling the tools to set those boundaries. When you have the mental space for it give it a read and let me know your thoughts. It is a tool if anyone requires it. Not a flash blog
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#3
markzor

markzor

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Join Date: 11/25/2009 | Posts: 810

Interesting post.

However, as far as the truth goes, there are more ways to describe the same phenomenom.

I think you understand it in a healthy manner, but I think it is "controversial" because it is easily misunderstood.
This makes it perhaps not the best theoretical framework to place such things in.
But there is definately a benefit by framing it in this perspective.

Translating back to normal RSD ideas, you basically emphasize:
- Having a strong reality by knowing what you value, what you expect from others, and what your personal boundries are.
- The importance of leading, which you call "obience training"
- Expressing a full range of emotions, which links to "punishment / reward"

This framework is really good for becoming aware of these social dynamics, however, there also a few traps I think:
- The terminilogy used associate with an unequal relationship, in which you are "above" her. You are the boss, she has to listen. 
- You say "obiedence" not "ownership" - still, it is quite easy to become reactive to whether she obeys or not. 
- You may become controlling - I like to emphasize that the other is completely free to do whatever she wants. 
(This requires you to "punish" without feeling bad about it. You should not prefer to give rewards - which seems like a hard thing to do; you didn't make up rules for nothing?)
- You can only make up your own rules if you know what you want. This requires some self-knowledge you can only acquire over time. Your advice will make people unflexible & stubborn. I like to emphasize flexibilty over focus. (Preferabbly without losing a sense of who you are and what you value).

All these traps basically amount to the same thing; i.e. you become arrogant, controlling, stubborn and reactive as opposed to confident, letting people be themselves, flexible and emotional tolerant.

It should come in handy if you have troubling setting up the right frame for a new relationship, or if you want to work on your dominance and strength of reality.
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#4

bags247

Senior Member

Join Date: 04/13/2010 | Posts: 212

 While I think you have the general idea (punish and reward) figured out, the way you phrased everything is so weird that it's hard as hell to understand exactly what you're trying to say. The words you use get your point across, sort of, but are so weird to associate with girls (obedience, training,?????). Tyler explained this whole concept along the lines of girls get off track every once in a while and it is your job as a man to put them back on track, it is also your job as a man to know what that track is. 
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#5

JohnG

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Join Date: 05/06/2009 | Posts: 748

Funny how Dog training is extremely similar to relationship management.. Actually when I watch some dog training on tv or watver, or dog whisperer stuff, I am always like "oh yeah it is exactly how it works, it is what you have to do make your relationship work" The way he describes the body language, the importance it has in a relationship (more than in a pick up...), the importance of kinda ignoring her, the wy you lead etc etc etc ...
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#6
Awesome F

Awesome F

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Join Date: 10/28/2010 | Posts: 308

Theories verses Tools, If you come from the caveman ‘Me MAN, you WOMEN’ Frame and ‘Woman do what I say’ then you will not understand the deeper mechanics as this will clash with your inner rulebook. What I present is a ‘THE’ frame work and the tools used to control you and your relationships outside of our collective emotions.
Relating this to intimate relationships you can attempt to approach it as equals with equal value and equal roles and responsibility as the society at large has preached however this is not how successful groups form, interact, achieve tasks or set goals. Such examples of this can be the goal or task of having a baby or getting married.

In order for the goal to be achieved the project must be managed with clear objectives, leadership and consequences for non obedience otherwise the baby will not be born or the Marriage will not go ahead. To be successful the Group or relationship must have a leader and rules that govern it. This role will either be provided by you or by the other leader in your groups normally the person with the most experience such as a Grandmother, Midwife or wedding planner. This is all said with the aim for ownership and consistency the main aim. Being a leader is not bad; to be obedient is not a negative, just as being loyal requires a compelling reason and trust negating the good or bad.

You cannot lead by force as forced leadership is an illusion, which works through aggressive use of some of these tools. Just how you train a dog not to bite or a child not hit and how to be caring so you must treat your love ones with respect and honesty as a true man can love and can lead. Giving them the guidance they crave and the leadership they desire.
In any interaction someone will naturally lead and now you are aware of this you can choose to be the lead of follow. We know where the latter leaves you.
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* Relying on anybody else for you survival is overwhelmingly illogical.
* You are only as free as your alternatives, Have options. Brain Tracy
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"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
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#7

bags247

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Join Date: 04/13/2010 | Posts: 212

 Life isn't dictated by a rule book, there are a lot of emotions and a lot gray area that do not, cannot fit within a confined set of rules like this. Once again, I get what you're saying and the point you are trying to make, but your explanation has no emotion in it, no room for deviation. Life isn't like that. There are times when you have to let yourself live life without worrying about any rules, otherwise you're always in your head. 
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#8
MastahDeft

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Join Date: 04/08/2011 | Posts: 1351


You gonna need this, and this:

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#9
Awesome F

Awesome F

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Join Date: 10/28/2010 | Posts: 308

bags247 wrote:
Life isn't dictated by a rule book, there are a lot of emotions and a lot gray area that do not, cannot fit within a confined set of rules like this. Once again, I get what you're saying and the point you are trying to make, but your explanation has no emotion in it, no room for deviation. Life isn't like that. There are times when you have to let yourself live life without worrying about any rules, otherwise you're always in your head.

To refer to your point about the rule book. Let me explain that concept. We each have our set of rules we live by which govern our emotions. We make really good friends when people align with our rule book, when we have things in common. This is also know as chemistry. Weather you acknowledge it or not it controls your passions, actions and emotions. Some rules are strong and not easily broken while others and short term and only serve momentary gain.

This is what modern marketing is built on, no longer services and products but emotions. I understand what you mention in your point. This is deeper than emotions. It’s the gears that make the emotions happen and therefore it would be incorrect base the post on an emotional stand point. That would be something like; how to control your girlfriend’s emotions. Not what I intend to do. As a computer expert told me while I was discussing control with him he said ’either you are programming or being programmed’. Sorry to bear the bad news but someone is always in charge. Your life is dictated by your rulebook or someone else’s and in fact that is all it lead by.
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* Relying on anybody else for you survival is overwhelmingly illogical.
* You are only as free as your alternatives, Have options. Brain Tracy
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"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
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#10

bags247

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Join Date: 04/13/2010 | Posts: 212

 Again, I think you get this, I really believe you and I are on the same page (we're saying the same thing two different ways), but I can't figure out why you say it in such a "weird" way. It'd be interesting to see how you apply this in real life, if you're just a social robot or if you're actually pretty smooth with it. These are just my personal thoughts though, obviously this is what works for you and this explanation makes sense to you so that's what you should stick with. 
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