THE FORUMS

December 6th, 2016
New York Journal
Your rating: None
Bookmark and Share

ChuckBr

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/17/2010 | Posts: 412

My half-cherish left yesterday morning which I thought was strangely liberating--going out with her was fun because girls would give me extremely good responses, but I didn't feel comfortable physically escalating in front of her for obvious reasons, which sucks since that's my main sticking point.

My friends and I hit a party a block over. I immediately pop 2 sets in a row of girls I know kind of well, hug one of them because it's her birthday. I see a girl that I opened pretty well the day before (she actually said, "you are soo cool, your style is so cool" and similar shit) but had to eject due to cherish. I open her on the dance floor--she's with her fat friend. My friend comes with but gets sort of brutally blown out so I just plow. I get some touch going but it feels awkward since we're in a room full of people we know so I back off.

After a bit another one of her friends asks her to go to her house and smoke weed. I just stick around until the "target" invites me (I don't smoke weed but it doesn't matter). We go, but when we get to the friend's house she doesn't have her keys so we go to another house to find her roommate. "Target" and I descend to basement looking for her--as we're walking downstairs the target takes my hand, I'm going to pull her in for a kiss but we run into her friend on the stairs. We walk back up still hand-in-hand, I squeeze and she doesn't squeeze back but i don't think it matters, fuck mystery.

We go back to the friend of a friend's house and they smoke weed. They don't notice that I don't take hits. They start talking about drinking games and I talk about how my roommates and I want to invent a drinking-game version of HORSE. This isn't true but it plants the seed of the nerf basketball hoop I have in my room (thanks Jeffy). "Target" gets all excited and says she wants to play. I try to move it there but the main friend says she's too tired and fucked up. However, the "target" locks eyes with me and nods.

Target, friend and I go outside. They have some stoned conversation but I still vibe pretty well. Finally friend leaves. Target asks me where I live, it's not on the way to her house. I push for "stoned basketball" (kind of gay in sense that I'm trying to get into her reality--I'm not stoned) but she says she's too tired and goes home.

I go to another party and re-open a girl who opened me at a previous party. She had asked some shit like "how does my face look" and then scurried away (if I had been in state I would have said "beautiful" and then made out with her, but I was only one set deep at the time), so I interrogated her about why she had been self-conscious. She comes up next to me and I guess her ethnicity. She is down and asks me where I live, but she has two losers hanging on to her, is maybe a 6, and I'm tired so I go home.

Will immediately get physical with "target" again as soon as i see her tonight. Am frustrated that I wasn't really physical the first night I met the "target" due to cherish-induced paranoia, but I can't do anything about it now. 

Must not get senior week one-itis over girl that isn't that hot (a 7 on a very good day).
__________________
Login or register to post.
#1

ChuckBr

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/17/2010 | Posts: 412

Met friends at a bar and fucked around a bit, then saw "target" from previous night. Target's friend says target is over there, which means she's told her friends and it's on.

Say hi, give hug, talk to group. We discuss various topics. I ping-pong and then come back to group. They say they're about to go to another party. They stall, then finally I say let's go.

I walk back to campus with target and her friend, I'm in state so I'm saying ridiculous shit and they're laughing. On our way to this party we run into my roommate and his girlfriend that are going back to our house to have a drink. I say we'll go with, and they're in the house. "Target" says she wants to show us a video, but the computer's upstairs in my room. Sweet. We all watch the video, but then my roommate gets anxious and wants to go to the party.

We go to the party, but people are fucking dismantlng a fence and having swordfights. I tell target this is dangerous and hold her, we must leave and return to the safe space of my house and play basketball. I take her hand and lead her back.

As i reach for key I kiss her and she's really into it, pulls me into full-on makeout. I lead her upstairs, no basketball needed, I throw her against wall and then on bed. 
__________________
Login or register to post.
#2

ChuckBr

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/17/2010 | Posts: 412

Went out last night and physical escalation has gotten a lot better.

After some warm up sets, approached a girl in my class I'd never talked to before and had hands interlocked and foreheads touching. Went in for makeout but she pulled back, was about to go in again but her friend pulled her off. Friend told me later she has a boyfriend.

Did the spin-handshake once, girl burst out laughing but I was too surprised at effectiveness to do anything about it and I quickly realized she was my good friend's target.

My friends--5 girls and one male friend, all of whom look sort of "alt" or whatever--go to some jock party. The one male friend and I had been speaking in English but with French accents all night, and a room full of people we'd never met was too much for us. We make our female friend introduce us to all the jocks as exchange students from "zhe EDHEC busy-ness school" where we study "busy-ness marketing."

At one point I start approaching jock girls, putting condoms in their hands, and asking, "Do you want zhat ve make love?".

Depending on how you did this it could be gay or awesome. At least last night, it was a natural outgrowth of what my friend and I had been doing on our own to amuse ourselves. I misfired a few times, but the fact that I am obviously not from France but am extremely confident about this and looking straight into their eyes while holding their hands with a condom between them creates a lot of tension. Not sure if this is a "routine" I would actually do in the club, but it might be a fun way to warm up on dumb NYU girls to get unstifled.

At like 2:30 we're out of parties and my friends want to go home. I call them "zhe faggots" and leave.
__________________
Login or register to post.
#3

ChuckBr

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/17/2010 | Posts: 412

Went out again because it's grad week. Went to a pregame birthday party and immediately opened a few sets. Told a girl that I'd always been intimidated to sit down and talk to me and we talked about future plans etc for 20-30 minutes. I was too nervous to do much physical escalation b/c it was my second set and she's a girl that's been built up in my mind for four years, but she escalated me a bit--finding excuses to touch me, etc.

Flirted with another girl who has a reputation for being a heinous bitch. This reputation is not unjustified but I had fun.

We go to another party--a sort of fake rave. I go upstairs and see one of the girls I made out with during my "makeout king" night a week ago. Immediately hands interlocked and we're dancing. She comes up close to my face and I should have gone for makeout I think. We dance some more, I pull her in and try to kiss her but she backs away and makes a face, I keep dancing and talk about bullshit. We're both a bit uncomfortable though and she runs off to find her friend. (Later I see that the guy she's hooking up with is outside).

The girl I hooked up with two days ago is nowhere to be found despite telling me she'd be here, so I open more sets. I am not very good at dance floor game and don't want to practice around people I know so I go downstairs and see a girl who works at the library that I've wanted to talk to for 2-3 years. She's in a group with a guy I sort of know and like and another girl.  I play it indirect and talk to the dude and then the other girl, who it turns out is his sister visiting. His sister likes me but is not hot at all. Eventually they leave and it's just me and the girl, and we have a good interaction with some shoulder-touching. Physical escalation could have been better but it was almost like daygame--a brightly-lit hallway with a bunch of people we know from school. Will definitely re-open her this week though.

I talk to a girl I'm sort of friends with but have a midlly antagonistic relationship with and jokingly physically escalate on her to practice the spin-move, etc. Then I go upstairs with a friend and see two girls we kind of know. The hotter one grabs me and asks about something earlier today, I am caught off gaurd and let her back off, and when I go back in she is not down--or not down enough for it to be an almost-sure-thing--call me a chode but I don't feel comfortable risking a severe blowout through unskilled aggressive physicality on near-strangers in a college environment with people I know watching.

A girl wearing all sorts of crazy shit suddenly runs up to me and grabs my hands and asks, "are you rolling?". I am caught off-guard and say no. She acts disappointed, breaks hand-contact, and dances away. I grab her and ask if she is, and she gets defensive: "Yes, and I'm having a great time" and dances up against this jock with no shirt. Whatever. I send a mocking text message--"are u gay or what" or something similar--to the girl I hooked up with the other day and bail.
__________________
Login or register to post.
#4

ChuckBr

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/17/2010 | Posts: 412

 Had a shit night. I think it's because of stress of graduation/parents + a combination of things making me think I'm the man. Basically my friends found out about my participation in the community and rather than get freaked out like I expected, one of them at least is really interested. This of course gives me the opportunity to play the instructor with him which is fun and probably good for my game in the long run, but it has also given me outcome-dependence because I feel like I have to prove that I'm good with women or some shit. 

However, going out seven nights in a row is working in the sense that I'm fucking beasting with almost zero reaction time. 
__________________
Login or register to post.
#5

ChuckBr

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/17/2010 | Posts: 412

First same-night pull at an NYC club two nights ago. 

Went to the Meatpacking district with Milkman but it was full of sailors hogging the attention due to Fleet week so we relocated to the Lower East Side. Hit a few bars and opened a few sets, but neither of us had that much momentum. I was considering leaving but Milkman said we should go back to a bar we had left and I went along with it. I re-open a set with some Irish girl who's all over me and Milkman but she's over 30 and obviously a tease. However, the nimbus is finally raging so I decide to try some direct stuff. 

Usually my game is based on indirect sarcasm, which is obviously ego-protection but it's pretty funny so it often works. But I rewatched Flawless Natural recently and have been wanting to try it out. First time I tried it I freaked out and bailed, but I went downstairs and saw some cute hippie girl and yell "Hey--you're adorable" and smile. 

It felt like my real personality was coming through finally, and it was awesome. She responded really well--oh, thank you. Semi-consciously I box her out from her group of friends. "Which liberal arts college did you go to?" I demand. She says which one and laughs. She tries to talk about school and I make fun of her taste in novels, while she's laughing I pull her in. Then I sense it's time to make out so I go for it. 

We're full-on making out next to a group of her friends. I tell her "let's go to the cake shop"--I just wanted some way of venue-changing. "I don't eat cake" she says with disgust. "Let's order something else then." "Do you just want to leave?" she asks. "Where do you live?". I live far, so she says we can just go to her place. She says goodbye to her friends. One of them says "good luck" to her.

We walk back to her place. I joke around the whole time so as to hold attention. I didn't fuck it up.  


Positive reference pts
Friends will leave you with the girl if you're escalating
Escalate as quick as you can--getting blown out for this is not that bad, and is better than "nice to meet you" after 20 minutes 
Going out with a wing is great because they won't let you out about being tired
Direct game is awesome once you're in state
Girls will take you to their place if they feel really comfortable with you
When you're conveying your real personality (speaking authentically) then everyone loves you 

To be improved 
Get in state faster by being more of an approach-machine early in the night. I stretched out this process over two hours when I could have done it in twenty minutes. 
Go out closer to your house--if she had been less trusting/chill you would have lost her just because you live far from the club 
Know the area well--I don't even like cake, so I should have had a better venue to change her to 
__________________
Login or register to post.
#6

ChuckBr

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/17/2010 | Posts: 412

 Day 3 of 30 day challenge 

Made a point of just having fun because I had too much outcome dependence and had a great night. Started out just fucking with people, using the "I like salad" opener. At first it just got weird responses and I had to plow, but once I was in state the sexual tension it built was HUGE--girls would just start laughing and touching me. 

Had a few good sets where girls were touching and qualifying themselves to me, but I didn't escalate fast enough and choded myself out. Weird how the girl that was all over you one minute will ignore you the next minute if you don't keep conveying value--in the club they just want the next shiny object. 

Got a text from a friend and agreed to meet up, but unfortunately he brings my fb. At first I feel uncomfortable gaming in front of them but I push through it and have some funny sets. Friend is amazed by how fast the game moves. 

Go home and fuck the fb. 

Positives
Built a lot of momentum--all that's going through my head right now is "I'm a boss" 
Lots of freedom from outcome 
Talking about how people in the MPD are "normals" while wearing tight jeans is funny 

[b]Needs improvement 

More intent on the approaches 
Quicker escalation
Avoid friends when out to fuck--be selfish and ignore the phone 
[/b]
__________________
Login or register to post.
#7

ChuckBr

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/17/2010 | Posts: 412

Day 4 of 30 Day Challenge

Met up with a wing in MPD. Tried to get into a rooftop bar but it was too crowded so went to a smaller bar/club. Pushed each other into sets which got us warmed up, but then someone got a glass in the face which kind of killed the vibe. I'm a lot younger than the MPD crowd and also from a different subculture as stupid as that shit is, so it was difficult to feel congruent approaching these girls, most of whom I wasn't attracted to. Good for freedom from outcome though. So I just practiced going up and saying stupid shit--"I like salad;" "Do you like douchebags?;" etc. Most of the girls think it's funny, a 40-year-old cougar actually gets visibly pissed off, I think because she knows there's no way I'm attracted to her.

I kept walking past this 9 and bailing but I finally make myself do it and it goes pretty well. But like all 9s she is pretty nonresponsive and wants me to just talk. I'm not in the zone enough and bail to protect my ego.

Wing kept telling me not to be an approach machine but I actually think it's important to be an approach machine early in the night to get into state. That was something Owen really hammered in on our bootcamp. 

We go to another bar where I open some sets but it's way too packed to be fun. When it's crowded to the point of being almost unsafe everyone is tense and unwilling to let their guard down. I'm not really in the zone so I stop a moving set with, "Do you like douchebags?" and it goes a little awkward but fine. The girl sticks around and is touching me but I don't reciprocate because she is fat and ugly.

Go to a beer garden and I open a few sets but everyone is 8-10 years older than me so I meet up with female friends to go to a younger venue. I'm fucking one of these girls but I think it is funny to open sets with her. Girls are way more receptive if another girl is with you, and the people here are younger and more my scene so I feel more comfortable. But my fb keeps getting jealous and pulling me out of sets by making out with me. Finally she gets really pissed off and starts talking to this guy in Spanish. I'm out of set and think about pulling her out but decide to game other girls instead. I should have used this as a chance to practice the spin-opener in a relatively safe situation. Next time.

She chews me out for not pulling her out of the situation, i say whatever. She wants to leave. I'm okay with this. Outside she looks for a lighter and this girl comes up to me and starts asking me questions about how it is inside. She's hot, an 8 or something, with two blond guys. They try to amog but this girl and I are eye-fucking like crazy while talking about nonsense. Finally she says, "I hope you have a great night" while oozing sexuality--she knows nothing will happen when my fb is there and she's with two nordic giants, and probably doesn't want to cause drama.

Positive reference-experiences
Going out with girls is awesome
Even if you're a dumbass at a club you're uncalibrated with, nothing bad will happen unless you're a super aggressive asshole
Going out with a wing and pushing each other into sets is a great way to warm up
I'm starting to build real momentum--I don't really think before approaching

Things to be improved
Go to venues where girls you're likely to be attracted to actually hang out, instead of the chode fest that is the mpd
Figure out whether or not you can actually go out with this fb and talk to other girls, or whether it's reactive and weird
Warm up faster
Use your masculinity more to stop moving sets--yell with breaking-rapport tonality. (I think this would be easier if the girls were your age)
__________________
Login or register to post.
#8

ChuckBr

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/17/2010 | Posts: 412

Day 5 of 30 Day Challenge

Went to a dinner party and then a concert so it was pretty late by the time I was out, and i waa exhausted from not sleeping by myself for two days. I opened a set on the street and was blown out; same thing with two sets at a bar on my way home. I just wasn't into it. 

Slept better last night, so I'll have more energy tonight.
__________________
Login or register to post.
#9

ChuckBr

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/17/2010 | Posts: 412

I came upon Brad's "Ascent to Elite Congruence" thread, and it's aweomse. One post that I find particularly valuable frames rapid kino escalation as a qualifier for the girl to determine whether she's game for a SNL. http://www.rsdnation.com/node/75297/forum?page=3

This is great because my biggest sticking point is still physical escalation. I think what happens is that I come off well on the opening but because I sometimes don't escalate it is incongruent with all the other positive things I'm conveying (the fact that I'm approaching, my tonality, and my tight verbal game convey alpha traits, but the lack of physical escalation suggests that it's a front or not all there).

The only reason I'm not escalating I guess is ego-protection. I'm having a good interaction with the girl and I don't want to fuck it up.

Of course, this is silly because by not escalting I'm going to fuck it up anyway.

However, I couldn't come up with a way to escalate without giving my power away (is this ok? is this ok? is this ok?). Screening a girl for a SNL is a way to do that.

I'm going out every night so I'm starting to get bored with just approach after approach after approach (and conversation after conversation that goes nowhere--although it does reinforce that approaching and self-amusement are cool).

I also have a small team of fb's and would honestly rather get a full night's sleep by myself than get laid right now, so there's no outcome dependence in terms of female validation. I just want to get better, and what needs to get better is closing/physical game + more adventures.

As a side note, I met this 25 yo girl via daygame that's been calling/texting me, and I have weird outcome dependence/nervousness about hanging out with her. Whatever, she's French and probably dtf. I'll probably meet up with her tomorrow--my day 2 game needs work anyway.


Plan: listen to Ozzie's Transformations bit, in the same way that Brad did.
__________________
Login or register to post.
#10

ChuckBr

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/17/2010 | Posts: 412

Day 6 of 30 day challenge

Went out kind of late for a Sunday, like 11 pm. Got in the venue, there were no sets that looked openable so I go upstars--breaking rule no. 1, approach first woman you see.

I went upstairs, asked some bullshit indirect question about a concert to a girl. Went back downstairs, do something similar. I am tired and unwilling to fully commit to an approach because of ego-protection and because I'm not horny at all. I get the girls open with the indirect stuff, but I don't plow through it.

Sticking point Basically there are two ways i warm up (1) by approaching a bunch of different girls really quickly early in the night in crowded venues; or (2) by staring into one or two girls' eyes for 20 minutes. Normally, I do (1) for a few minutes and then transition into (2). But when the venue isn't crowded you can really only do (2).

I go next door. There's another concert. I go into the concert hall. I see an Asian girl that looks cute and am approaching but then I see she's with a dude and abort. I go back into the bar area and ask a girl standing next to the computers, "Are you the guardian of the computers?" "Kind of..." and starts talking about the computer--like she's actually paid to sell some service. I say fuck that. All the rest of the girls are in the concert hall and I don't like gaming at concerts--you have to compete with the musician, it's too much.

I decide to walk to another place I went to on bootcamp, about half a mile away. On the way I see a really cute girl in a red hat get out of a taxi. We lock eyes for a second but I don't say anything and she turns away. Then I pass a bar that actually seems crowded and there's a hot girl I see through the window, but I rationalize not going in by saying that I will go to the other bar first and go in on the way back. I get to the bar and it's empty, as is another bar across the street--there are some seated mixed sets but I'm not in the headspace to approach them.

By the time I get back to the bar I passed on the way it's emptied a bit and everyone is in couples dancing flamenco. I go back to the first venue and open two sets really weakly and then go home. Posted something lame about wanting to give up on the thirty-day challenge. I am going to stick to it. Part of the tiredness is because the blinds in my new place suck so the sunlight wakes me up by 9:30; other problem is that I hate daygame.

What went well
I went out despite having work the next morning and did some approaches

What could I do better
Get the initial approaches out of the way even if the sets are mixed/old and you know you're not going to do that well (Tyler says he and Julien are like animals about this)
When I see a hot girl on the street at night, I should fucking approach her
I should get over my hatred of day game--go to the park or something--to conserve energy on off nights
__________________
Login or register to post.