THE FORUMS

October 21st, 2017
I Simply Cannot Approach & Talk To Women!
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#11
progress-now

progress-now

Respected Member

Join Date: 03/07/2011 | Posts: 636

Women don't care about the substance of what you say.  PERIOD.  It;s all about how you FEEL when you say it.  I promise you that if you go up to a group of girls and say "whats up?" and you FEEL cool and chill about it, they will not even hear your words, but more they will react to the way you FEEL.  If you go up and feel like you're using some canned opener, or at least EXPECT them to think you're using one, then it might go bad.

This shit is ALL IN YOUR HEAD.  Pure and simple.  When there are no enemies within, there are no enemies without.  You are your greatest hindrance, the greatest enemy.  You're creating this problem, so chill out and talk to people, like a previous poster said.  Just get used to casual converstaion, conversation for conversation's sake.  You're not trying to get anything out of it, you're just conversing because sharing your opinions and ideas with others is inherently fun and ejoyable.
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#12
jlaix

jlaix

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 8752

Bootcamp
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#13
ODonovan

ODonovan

Junior Member

Join Date: 12/08/2009 | Posts: 18

Say your mind, stop wasting your time caring bout her or her reaction, grow up a bit, it doesnt matter... Get more important things to worry about..
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#14

JohnnyCanada

Respected Member

Join Date: 02/20/2011 | Posts: 728

Start making small talk with store clerks, talk about boring shit like the weather if you have to. Get some practice having regular conversations with strangers.

I love how some guys think they can go through life being keeping to themselves/introverted all day/week, then all of a sudden pull  some magic pick-up guns out of their ass once they get to a club.

You simply need to just build your conversational muscles one sentence at a time
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#15

bags247

Senior Member

Join Date: 04/13/2010 | Posts: 212

JohnnyCanada wrote:
Start making small talk with store clerks, talk about boring shit like the weather if you have to. Get some practice having regular conversations with strangers.

I love how some guys think they can go through life being keeping to themselves/introverted all day/week, then all of a sudden pull  some magic pick-up guns out of their ass once they get to a club.

You simply need to just build your conversational muscles one sentence at a time
This. 
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#16
BAWLS

BAWLS

Trusted Member

Join Date: 02/27/2008 | Posts: 2593

Fuck mediocrity. Add some danger and fun in your life. Live a little so you have something to talk about.




snaps wrote:
I can't take it anymore! I see amazing women but I simply can't talk to them. I mean, I don't have a problem walking up to them and using some canned opener, but it's what happens after that that stops me. That awkward moment after the opener where I have nothing else to say and she's expecting some kind of show from me to win her over. It's that fear of that awkward moment that stops me from going up to any girl and saying anything. No idea what to do. Any advice appreciated.
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#17
Starfox

Starfox

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/05/2010 | Posts: 576

This reminds me of the NLP concept of going first. Everyone else is too afraid to do it (especially women) so you have to do it yourself.
bags247 wrote:


One of the biggest realizations for me to get over my "fear" of approaching people was that the vast vast majority (99.9999%) of people aren't that different from me, you, or anyone else. Meaning, if you're sitting on the bus and somebody asks you the time of day or about a book you're reading you won't think they're weird, but if somebody asks you why potatoes are brown and why are they hard but they get soft once you cook them (i.e. some crazy pickup line) you're going to look at them like they have 5 heads and move down a few seats. Vice versa, if you ask someone about a book they won't think you're weird but if you ask them if they can name 7 different uses for tin foil they'll be like WTF?? Girls are the same exact way. Why do you go to the bar? To meet people/get laid. Why do girls go to the bar? To meet people/get laid. You get nervous when you go talk to a group of girls. Girls get nervous when a guy comes to talk to them. You get nervous when you've been talking to a girl for a while and want to get her number. She gets nervous when you've been talking for a while and really hopes you'll ask for her number. See where I'm going with this? Get all that PUA pickup line stuff out of your head and go have "normal and boring" conversations with people, I guarantee you'll have much better results and you'll get rid of all that AA that's in your head. 
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#18

SquareLife

Junior Member

Join Date: 02/23/2011 | Posts: 18

 yeah man, take the advice from everyone here. The only thing stopping yourself is you. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, try to get your hands on the first portion of the blueprint decoded. Tyler spends the first section of the seminar tacking limiting beliefs and mastering your inner core. Its the foundation man. He gives a really great example of how "we are not our mind".  Your mind is going to try and keep you safe. this is just mainly due to social conditioning. Once you learn how to reprogram the way you think, you'll be golden.
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