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How to handle being called an asshole and being ignored afterwards
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Posted May 2nd, 2011 at 7:49 PM
SCB

SCB

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Join Date: 12/06/2010 | Posts: 194

I was at a house party yesterday and was having a great time and was clearly being "The Man" as in the guy everyone wanted to talk to, the first time that's ever happened and I was really loving it and tried just chilling and busting on a few girls there, my mates GF and her sister along with most of the girls there loved it, they knew I was only joking around and were doing it back, I handled this one girl, who thought she was the greatest girl ever born, calling me a virgin really well imo, FYI I am a virgin and all I said back is that I value women enough not to sleep with any random slut out there, including yourself sweetheart ;)

Next thing I know, her face changes and she calls me an asshole and to fuck off, I say I know I am and apologise if I cause offense, she walks off and I talk to other people who say what I'm thinking "You apologised and she's just being a dick."

A little while later I see her againand apologise if I've upset her, she just tells me to stay away from her and not talk to her and I say whatever like I care, only being friendly and walk away.

Now how can I handle that situation should it ever arise again and did I handle it well? For what it's worth it didn't ruin my state but the other girls with a few exceptions were a little hesitant to talk to me afterwards (they were her friends though so I can understand that)

What do you all think?
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Posted May 2nd, 2011 at 8:21 PM
#1
star22

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Join Date: 03/25/2009 | Posts: 357

I've been in that situation before. It feels fucking weird. IMO you fucked up the minute you apologized. If you acted like "WTF stupid slut why are you acting up" she would have probably not given you that shit. I handle it by totally ignoring her. And if you were the man at the party like you said. she would have probably felt stupid. 
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Posted May 2nd, 2011 at 8:49 PM
#2
SCB

SCB

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/06/2010 | Posts: 194

^^ I wasn't actually trying to neg her or be alpha, that's why I thought it was strange, I've done the whole mystery method stuff, it's not me tbh, I was just going with what was in my head at the time. I only aplogised because I'm still in that "be nice to women no matter what" headspace, I didn't want to say sorry but I figured "Greater good" that was wrong.

I do get what you mean about the qualifying stuff though, I felt chode saying it aswell, that's my biggest alarm bell ringing moment I guess, I was trying to appear not bothered by her attitude to me and that I'm not affected by anything she was saying, I got it wrong, fair enough, learnt from my mistake.

Thanks a lot guys, cleared a few things up.
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To Succeed You Have to Stop being Ordinary and Start Being Legen ... Wait for it... DARY

Live for the Moment, Never see a chance you didn't take...

If You Do What You Always Did, You Will Get What You Always Got

An Girls actual description of my looks - "Wow, you look like a cross between Robert Downey Jr. and Ed Norton" is that a good thing?

My Field Reports: My Journey to becoming Epically Awesome! - http://www.rsdnation.com/node/178214

My experiments in online dating: Online Dating sories of glory and other moments - http://www.rsdnation.com/node/200527

My Online Dating profiles - suggestions wanted:
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Posted May 2nd, 2011 at 8:50 PM
#3
Lancelot

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Join Date: 07/17/2009 | Posts: 266

this here comes down to that whole "i do not care about what people think of me yet at the same time i am aware of how i am making them feel"

was she being an asshole? was she testing you? flirting?

your response depends on that.

girl says: "you're a virgin aren't you"
you say: "yeah, you should help me with that..."

the tone of your reply depends on whether she's being cool or lame.

have personal boundaries. don't apologize to a cunt. go tom cruise on them

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Posted May 2nd, 2011 at 8:57 PM
#4
SCB

SCB

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Join Date: 12/06/2010 | Posts: 194

KOA wrote:
this here comes down to that whole "i do not care about what people think of me yet at the same time i am aware of how i am making them feel"

was she being an asshole? was she testing you? flirting? 

your response depends on that.

girl says: "you're a virgin aren't you"
you say: "yeah, you should help me with that..."

the tone of your reply depends on whether she's being cool or lame.

have personal boundaries. don't apologize to a cunt. go tom cruise on them

Yea, she was just being an asshole to me for some reason, hell it could of been flirting and I didn't pick up on it.
I like the cocky/funny reply, in hindsight I wish I'd come up with that, but it's 20/20, I know to do that next time, I also said what I did to her quite jokingly, it was clearly not an insult and people that heard me say it did agree with me on that, she was just being a bitch, I wish I hadn't aplogised at all now, dammit! Live you learn...
__________________
http://youtu.be/PUBYGgC6oxg

To Succeed You Have to Stop being Ordinary and Start Being Legen ... Wait for it... DARY

Live for the Moment, Never see a chance you didn't take...

If You Do What You Always Did, You Will Get What You Always Got

An Girls actual description of my looks - "Wow, you look like a cross between Robert Downey Jr. and Ed Norton" is that a good thing?

My Field Reports: My Journey to becoming Epically Awesome! - http://www.rsdnation.com/node/178214

My experiments in online dating: Online Dating sories of glory and other moments - http://www.rsdnation.com/node/200527

My Online Dating profiles - suggestions wanted:
OKcupid: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/SCB3    POF.com: http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=11681350
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Posted May 2nd, 2011 at 9:01 PM
#5
TheDaywalker

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Join Date: 03/14/2011 | Posts: 32

Girl: Asshole!

TheDayWalker:  Casserole?

Girl: No, you're an asshole!

TheDayWalker:  CA-SS-ER-OLE? ???
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Posted May 3rd, 2011 at 3:09 AM
#6

mycleverid

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Join Date: 05/01/2011 | Posts: 89

Casserole?  Who the fuck brings a casserole to a house party?  Are we gonna pair up and play some bridge, too?
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Posted May 3rd, 2011 at 3:29 AM
#7

LightWorker

Member

Join Date: 04/30/2011 | Posts: 35

I bust on girls non-stop, so I get the asshole comment from time to time. I use this and it has never failed.

Me: *Bust on girl*
Her: "Your an asshole!"
Me: "Yea...so what is it about assholes that turns you on sweetheart?"

BOOM, game over.
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Posted May 3rd, 2011 at 3:37 AM
#8

carmen77

Senior Member

Join Date: 11/11/2007 | Posts: 177

I'd just ignore it but take it as a lesson.  You probably weren't being as cool as you tought.  You may have even been a bit annoying and/or a douchebag.  Reality check?  It's cool though keep learning and making mistakes but don't become delusional.
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Posted May 3rd, 2011 at 7:24 AM
#9
SCB

SCB

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Join Date: 12/06/2010 | Posts: 194

carmen77 wrote:
I'd just ignore it but take it as a lesson.  You probably weren't being as cool as you tought.  You may have even been a bit annoying and/or a douchebag.  Reality check?  It's cool though keep learning and making mistakes but don't become delusional.
Yea true, I'm still learning so I'll take this as a lesson of what to do next time, I don't think I came off as a douchebag though, up until that point people were enjoying my company and engaging me in all sorts of subjects, it's that "You just know" moment where it clicks if you get me
__________________
http://youtu.be/PUBYGgC6oxg

To Succeed You Have to Stop being Ordinary and Start Being Legen ... Wait for it... DARY

Live for the Moment, Never see a chance you didn't take...

If You Do What You Always Did, You Will Get What You Always Got

An Girls actual description of my looks - "Wow, you look like a cross between Robert Downey Jr. and Ed Norton" is that a good thing?

My Field Reports: My Journey to becoming Epically Awesome! - http://www.rsdnation.com/node/178214

My experiments in online dating: Online Dating sories of glory and other moments - http://www.rsdnation.com/node/200527

My Online Dating profiles - suggestions wanted:
OKcupid: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/SCB3    POF.com: http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=11681350
Login or register to post.