January 18th, 2019
2c on self-esteem, approval and validation seeking and how it directly relates to your degree of success
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Respected Member

Join Date: 07/12/2010 | Posts: 308

Just gonna lay it down raw:

Remember the testosterone thread? I made that post and think that this shit is important is for one core reason: when you're jacked on T, you care much less what anyone thinks of you.

The source of all problems in the game is directly correlated to taking into account other's opinion about yourself (especially girls) and in return it's a self-feeding spiraling down loop... the more you care about other's opinion and approval, the less good opinions and approval you will get, especially from women (approaching with an empty cup). This in turn feeds anxiety and makes everyone look like a threat instead of a friend, because you're giving your power away to other people, thus you are either too nice to them in order to gain approval, or a dismissive asshole as a defensive mechanism to protect your fragile self-esteem or ego from experiencing the anxiety and pain of disaproval, or you just minimize interractions with others to a minimum and become a hermit.

If you know and truely feel that other's opinion of you will not affect you in the slightest, everyone is suddenly a friend, because if they were to express disaproval of you OR approval, it would be meaningless and not affect your state or mind. Since you're friendly and open to these people, they in return do the same, seeing that you're your own man and now they start seeking approval from YOU and try to win your approval, thus they become nicer and friendlier to you and it snowballs from there into pure awesomeness (girls see other girls trying to win their approval and it only makes them want you more). You're now officially an alpha male.

The only way to roll in life is seek approval and fulfillment only from inside.
High self-esteem (and resulting beliefs and vocal projection from that)  = the single MOST important piece of the game, from which everything else stems. Draw the good feelings from within, feel brave enough to experience happiness and awesomeness about yourself on an ongoing and consistent basis, feel truely ENTITLED to 10's, make yourself validated internally (approval or rejection by other people does not alter your awesomness), bring the party and be loud as fuck (borderline obnoxious vocal projection at clubs). It is your birthright to feel entitled to and to expect all the best life has to offer. It doesn't matter what everyone else thinks about you. Ryan Bootcamp, Nov 19-21, 2010, Washington DC
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Junior Member

Join Date: 09/20/2010 | Posts: 19

Well said.
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Senior Member

Join Date: 09/04/2009 | Posts: 236

But how exactly do u become free from validation seeking?  Does it just happen one day?  Do u get an epiphany?
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Junior Member

Join Date: 01/14/2012 | Posts: 19

Yup, how do we consciously work on this? How can we consciously work on attaining internal validation?
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Join Date: 01/07/2012 | Posts: 80

LOV wrote:
Yup, how do we consciously work on this? How can we consciously work on attaining internal validation?

I was also thinking this..

Very solid post by the way, this is one of the most important aspects of life !
Self-esteem is presence !
Self-esteem is an unsensitive ego !

This concept of "not giving a fuck" relates so much to eastern philosophy it's insane !
If you want to become present and all that shit you just gotta learn to : not give a fuck, draw state from within !

Very money post dude, as far as how do we implement this ?
Read this post and understand it, then start consciously putting it into practice and take action on it every day !
Your perfect, whole and complete
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