THE FORUMS
How do you overcome Failure?
if you take a monkey and put it in a cage with a larger monkey. and if you invoke the larger monkey to beat up the smaller one. Again and again. even if you take that smaller monkey and put it in a cage with a similar size monkey. it'll cringe. be scared. lack total confidence. it will even go into depression.
i don't know if you could ever remove that feeling...
i don't know if you could ever remove that feeling...
There's a new-agey concept Owen talked about one day.
We are all already dead.
I strongly relate to that.
There's even a strong meditation when you try and imagine yourself being dead, not existing anymore.
Death is at the core of not giving a fuck.
I honestly don't relate to being depressed because you didn't get something or being ressentful or someshit. It's all good.
I totally understand, bro. It's like a person dying from cancer and then miracuously survives. Or someone on the brink of suicide and then he realizes fuck it. live as if he is dead. do whatever he wants. We are all already dead.
I strongly relate to that.
There's even a strong meditation when you try and imagine yourself being dead, not existing anymore.
Death is at the core of not giving a fuck.
I honestly don't relate to being depressed because you didn't get something or being ressentful or someshit. It's all good.
The problem is when things start getting good. I want to hold to them. I stop taking the risks. Look at people who get older. They don't have that "huck it" attitude they had as kids. They are afraid.
Maybe I'll give it a try and try to pretend I'm dead already. We are all scared of death. If I'm dead what is there to be afraid of? None of this matters.
most things dont actually hurt like that when you fail, that's the secret.
People think they will.... but there's very few real emergencies. Most people can tolerate alot more failure than they think. Brad talks about it on his blog - it's not that we're scared of failing, its usually we're scared of failing in front of people or in front of ourselves. When it comes to the crunch, you can take it... the key is to realise what the aversion is really about (caring what people think) and burn through that. Also REMEMBERING it - society has a way of helping people conveniently forget these deeper truths, partly because everyone else is buying into the lie (that failure = death).
People think they will.... but there's very few real emergencies. Most people can tolerate alot more failure than they think. Brad talks about it on his blog - it's not that we're scared of failing, its usually we're scared of failing in front of people or in front of ourselves. When it comes to the crunch, you can take it... the key is to realise what the aversion is really about (caring what people think) and burn through that. Also REMEMBERING it - society has a way of helping people conveniently forget these deeper truths, partly because everyone else is buying into the lie (that failure = death).
Sack up, get leverage on yourself.
Punish yourself If you don't try, get a friend to fine you if you don't meet your goal, if you want to start running every day get a big dog that needs to go outside, If you have 'day game AA' vow to yourself you cannot have dinner till you have made 6 approaches every day, and stick to it.
Use your logical brain to disign ways to overcome emotional insticts and give you the push you need.
Punish yourself If you don't try, get a friend to fine you if you don't meet your goal, if you want to start running every day get a big dog that needs to go outside, If you have 'day game AA' vow to yourself you cannot have dinner till you have made 6 approaches every day, and stick to it.
Use your logical brain to disign ways to overcome emotional insticts and give you the push you need.
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"Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat." - Oscar Wilde
Just like with anything, practice makes perfect! I've seen my life scattered across the ground in burning ruin a few times. You get over it, it's really not that bad. Here's something I posted on FB the other day
'watching dreams die isn't as sad as I once thought. Because from death comes new life, but watching the process is not for the faint of heart'
'watching dreams die isn't as sad as I once thought. Because from death comes new life, but watching the process is not for the faint of heart'
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I was too much intent and not enough calibration guy for a really long time. I tried to fuck almost every chick I'd meet that met the criteria and just wound up pissing off almost everyone I met, with some sporatic results. I'm working on getting more socially calibrated.
Loren
Trusted Member
Join Date: 04/12/2007 | Posts: 1131
Today I was practicing backflips. I'm basically doing things that I've always wanted to learn even if they seem impossible.
I've been doing them for about 6 hours dispersed over 4 weeks.
I was getting an assisted backflip and today was the first day I landed on my head. It hurt.
And no matter how much I tried I couldn't even do a half of one after. I was too scared to jump. And then when I said fuck it, I would jump and just be afraid to flip. I tried over and over again. I just couldn't psyche myself out.
This is a really difficult rut to get out of. How do you have confidence in something when it's failure after failure? How do you have courage when you're scared to hurt yourself?
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