THE FORUMS

December 10th, 2016
My Fear-Vaporizing 10-Step 30-Day Challenge!
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Roark101

Roark101

Senior Member

Join Date: 11/19/2010 | Posts: 99

Whattup, RSD peeps? OK, so today, I'm starting a new thread. I'm doing a new 30-Day Challenge (I did one in December), but with a twist. You see, I'm too lazy/busy to go out 30 consecutive days. I did that in December and -- while it helped my game -- it wiped me the hell out. For me, 30 straight days makes pickup feel like going to the gym. Much respek to you 30-Day doods, but it's not for me. 

BUT... I love the idea of a challenge that plays out over a month, by going out 2-3 days a week. That's more my speed. So last night, I sat down with a glass of Jameson, took a hard look at my game, and scribbled down 10 pickup missions that I WANT to attempt but have been avoiding, due to fear, anxiety or simple procrastination. So here are my 10 tasks, great and small. Some will take an entire night. Others, a matter of minutes. I'm committing to knocking off ALL of these over the next month. No matter what happens -- blow-outs? make-outs? Caligula-caliber sex romps -- I'll report back to you guys, hopefully with some good stories and good lessons. 

Let's count 'em down! (Props to Ozzie... some of these ideas I borrowed from his book, "Physical Game," which is AWESOME. His specialty is fear-blasting. I recommend you pick up a copy.)

THE COLD "I HAD TO MEET YOU" DAY GAME APPROACH
We've all been there. You see that amazing girl during the day but lack the cojones to step up. I can do this at night, but during the day, I let her walk right by. I've always wanted to try going direct during the day. It's just one sentence, right? ("Hey, you're cute -- I had to meet you.") I love the idea of just saying what you think/feel. I can't control how she reacts, but I can control whether or not I take the chance. 

GO OUT AND LORD THE CLUB... SOLO
For most of us, pickup is easier with your buddies. Wolf pack mentality, and all. Me too. But I've always wanted to head out solo and lord the club. The bar for success here is to simply to stay in set all night, and not become a wallflower. 

PIMP ON MY ULTRA HOT DANCE TEACHER
So, I'm taking a hip-hop dance class. Not even to hit on girls... it's something I've always wanted to try. The dance teacher, Jennifer, is exceedingly hot. She does this thing where, when I make her laugh, she spins in a little circle. It's painfully cute. So I'm gonna ask her out after next class.

DO A DAY-GAME SATURDAY
I live in an amazing day-game city, so I'm gonna devote an afternoon to approaching. Minimum: 5 approaches. 

TRY OZZIE'S 360-DEGREE RULE
I'm gonna try this this weekend -- a tip Ozzie gave me on boot-camp. It's an anti-scanning technique to help you blast through that foggy mindset of, "Gosh, who should I approach?" You stand in the middle of the venue, start rotating slowly, and BEFORE you reach a full 360-degrees, you approach the FIRST attractive girl you see. No matter what -- whether she's standing by herself holding a sign that says "I'm lonely and horny," or surrounded by muscle-bound guys. Turn. See. Go. That simple. 

APPROACH MY BOWLING ALLEY BABE
So, I'm in a bowling league (I'm SERIOUSLY white). It's a surprisingly target-rich spot, with lots of cute girls. Last week, I saw a girl-next-door blonde who stopped me in my rented shoes. Must. Approach. Bowling babe. 

NIGHTCLUB REDEMPTION!
So, there's this club in my town that always gets the better of me. I've never had a solid night there, meaning that I almost always quit approaching and go home. So my mission is to lord it up and approach until... 1) I pull; or 2) the club closes. Whichever comes first. 

EMBARRASSING OPENER NIGHT 
Another idea from Ozzie's book. You approach the girl with something embarrassing, that no normal guy would open with: "I pee in the shower." Or "Hi, I sleep with a Teddy Bear." Or "I'm a huge, huge fan of Justin Bieber." So, I'm gonna make a night Embarrassing Opener Night. It should be fun. I once opened a turbo HB with, "Hi, I'm a 40-year-old virgin." That's not actually true, but it WAS embarrassing. She didn't hook, but I had a blast with it. 

APPROACH THE TURBO 
You know her when you see her. THAT girl at the club. The super hottie turbo that EVERYONE'S looking at, leaving countless dropped jaws in her wake. My mission is to approach and do 2 minutes, minimum. That's all. 

APPROACH THAT COFFEE-SHOP HOTTIE
This one sounds mundane, but I've saved it for last for a reason. The moment that led me to RSD in the first place was a moment a couple years back at Starbucks. I saw a Katie Holmes lookalike (think Dawson's Creek Katie, not brainwashed-by-scientology Katie) sitting by herself. Jeans skirt. Clicking away on her phone. Totally my type. There was even an empty chair next to her. I wanted SO BADLY to talk to her, but I... couldn't ... move... my... legs. I found every reason NOT to approach: "I suck, she's too hot, she has a dood, everyone will see me get shot down..." After a couple anxious moments, she got up and walked her tanned, toned legs out the door and out of my life. I felt helpless. I felt low. Well, I've come a LONG way since then, thanks to RSD. So yeah, it may sound silly, but I've always wanted to go back and redeem myself with the right coffee-shop girl. I'll know her when I see her. It'll feel great to approach, no matter how she reacts. Who knows? Maybe I won't even be that nervous. When I started doing this, I never cared about notches on my belt or getting with "hotter" girls, although those goals are fine. I simply wanted to be able to walk up to any woman in any social situation and chat her up, with manageable anxiety. I think I'm close. Maybe closer than I know. 

Well, that's my list: 10 tasks in 30 days. As you might have noticed, every mission is something I can control. It basically comes down to approaching and arresting fear/anxiety. Tim says 80 percent of the game is approaching. Ozzie says 90 percent of the game is arresting fear.  

It's up to me. 

So I'll give it my best shot and report back. 

Peace!!
__________________
 "A ship in port is safe, but that's not what ships are built for." --Grace Murray Hooper
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#1
Roark101

Roark101

Senior Member

Join Date: 11/19/2010 | Posts: 99

30-DAY CHALLENGE: GLORY ON NIGHT NO. 1:
Well, hell, I didn't expect to have success THIS quickly, but I pulled on my first night of my 30-Day Challenge, and made an awesome connection on Night 2. Here are a few things I learned. 

BEWARE A WEAK MIND
My main mission for Night 1 -- last Friday night -- was to try Ozzie's 360-approach rule (see first post), in which you pick a spot in the club, rotate slowly, and approach the first attractive woman you see, no matter who she is or who she's with. That simple. So, I'm in a NYC club with two buddies. We chat for 15-20 minutes or so, to get socially calibrated, and I tell them about my 360-degree mission and Ozzie's rule. Meaning no harm, one of the guys said, "You can't do that HERE. It's all guys tonight." Indeed, the club was a bit of a cock farm -- probably 60 percent dudes -- but there were plenty of girls around, too. Funny how your buddies will try to infect you with their limiting beliefs. NOT that he was doing it on purpose. He was just projecting HIS mentality. There are SO MANY reasons not to approach, and "Too many dudes" is one of them. But I was well-rested, booze-free, and I had a very clear mind. I knew what my intentions were. I had clarity. I laughed off his warning. Then I approached. 

GO 360!
"OK, guys, watch me!" And I started slowly rotating, per Ozzie's technique. The whole point is to take thinking/scanning/excuses out of that first approach. I rotated a few degrees and spotted the bare left shoulder blade of a beautiful girl with straight, dark, glossy hair. A stunning Indian girl. I approached. She had her back to me, so I had to tap her shoulder. She turned to me. Me: "Hi, I'm kinda nervous, but I HAD to meet you. I'm NAME." She smiled, but I could tell she was neutral, at best. Not attracted, but giving me a chance. I figured I had about two minutes to hook her. I sucked at first, completely botching my attempt to guess her ethnicity. I was dying. Tick-tock, tick-tock... The thing is, I had already completed my mission -- approach -- so I soon relaxed. Me: "How was your St. Patrick's Day?" Her: "Oh, it was OK. I went to TGI Friday's with..." Boom! I knew I had her. I'm REALLY good at teasing girls. An old-school neg can STILL work nicely. Me, shaking her hand: "So you hang out at Friday's? Well, it was nice to meet you," and I feigned walking away. She laughed and playfully punched me. More chit-chat. I have a job that impressed her (not that I was TRYING to impress her; she asked me what I do), and her interest spiked a bit more. I got her phone number and went back to my buddies. One approach, and I was in a nice state. I did a couple more approaches with NO outcome attachment at all, other than to have some fun. I walked up to some girls and started shouting, "No beers! No beers for you!" They ate it up. (See "Put Her In Your Movie," below). Time to move venues. 

LOOK FOR SITUATIONAL OPPORTUNITIES
Next venue: I have a new rule that works well for me. No booze AT ALL, until a girl hooks hard, with make-out. Why? It keeps my mind nimble while approaching, and it gives me a reward to motivate myself. Plus, I can't use constant trips to the bar as an avoidance mechanism. Anyway, I order a water, and a redhead who was welded into her black dress says, "Water? Who orders water?" She opened me. Haha! Her name is Jen. Late 20s. Adorable, freckly face, cute figure, and -- how can I put this gently -- an amazing ass. White girl with a black girl's booty. We start chatting. Instant chemistry. Playful back and forth. I chat up her friends, too, who are cool. I take her hand and lead her to another part of the bar, then over to a couch. Makeout. And we're really connecting as people, too, which is what I love about Natural Game. Sure, I did a couple routines, but we had a cool conversation, too, putting our real selves out there. (Well, as real as you get in a NYC club at 1am). Just goes to show that not all approaches have to be a big wind-up and pitch. Look for situational opportunities, like when a girl says, "Water? Who orders water?" Sneak in. Start chatting. Show that intent (I told her VERY early on, "YOU are way adorable"), and take it from there. 

"ASSERT YOUR IDEAL REALITY"
Those are Ryan's words from my first boot-camp. I've found that pulling a girl home (or not) comes down to one tipping-point moment when I either did (or didn't) go after what I wanted: my ideal reality. Often, NOT pulling happens because I settle for a good night, not a great night. Or, as Jeffy would say, instead of playing to win, you play NOT to lose. For example: It's about 2am, and Jen and I are hitting it off, making out, having a blast. We're in cherish mode. Her: "I have to go soon. I have a 2:30 train. I work in the morning." In my mind, I think, "That's cool. Hey, awesome girl, and it was a good night. I'll see her again." Then I cut off that chatter. "NO! ASSERT YOURSELF." She was about to leave. I grab her hand, spin her around, kiss her, and say, "No. Stay! Stay! I'm WAY more fun. Take the next train." Her: "Welllllll... I guess I could..." Me, high-fiving her: "That's more like it." And that was pretty much it. We stayed another hour, then I led her to my place, with a line that works well for me: "Too many people here. Let's go make out in private." She resisted a little (many girls will), so I switched up the roles to both relax her and make her laugh: "When we get to my place, remember: NO means NO. I am NOT a piece of meat..." She cracks up... "I have a heart and a mind. I am not ONLY a sex object. Come on, let's go." We went back to my place, and had an amazing time. Phew! When she left the next morning, I kept thinking how EASILY I could have lost her by settling for a nice night, instead of an amazing night. I was proud of myself for having that clarity of mind. It's taken a LOT of practice, and I've lost a lot of girls by taking the easy way out, not asserting myself enough. It's something you have to constantly monitor, by asking, "Am I going after what I really want?" 

BEWARE EGO AND FOLLOW THE PROCESS
So I confess: The next day, Saturday afternoon, after pulling my girl, I heard that little voice: "Dood, you are a PIMP." Luckily, I've suffered enough slings and arrows in this game (self-inflicted) to be pretty level-headed. It also helps that I've been studying Buddhism, which is all about connection and equality to other people, knowing you're NOT superior to others, and any identity you create (like "I'm a stud") is a fiction. Anyway, i cut off any ego-related B.S. and told myself, "You're NOT a pickup-artist. You're just a cool, awesome dude who is starting to get better at this." Before I went out on Saturday night, I wrote out THREE SIMPLE GOALS that would mean the night was a success: 1) Approach early and often, for momentum; 2) Fulfill tonight's mission of approaching the HOTTEST girl in the club; 3) Don't go home until you've TRIED to pull a girl. Three worthy goals, all in my control, that give me a process to follow. 

APPROACH THE SUPER HOTTIE
So, early in the night, I saw that turbo hottie that I promised myself to approach, in my original 30-Day set of missions. Blonde, black dress, texting on her phone. I choked. I couldn't do it. She walked by me. I thought, "What would Owen do?" Well, as I've seen first hand, he would chase her down and open her from behind, which is WAY more awkward. So I did, to punish myself. I sprinted after her, tap-tap-tap. "Hey, I had to meet you. I'm NAME..." She BARELY looked up from her phone. "I'm looking for my friends. I have to go..." And she kept walking. She wasn't even bitchy so much as totally distracted. I let her go. And I felt... fantastic. Why? I guess because I used to think that getting blown out by hot girls would be a fate worse than death. But I was learning that the more I approached, the less "rejection" bothered me. In fact, she PUMPED my state. This must be the indifference threshold that Owen talks about in "The Blueprint." It's like my mind absorbed the hottie blow-out and realized, "What? THAT'S what you were afraid of? That's NOTHING." I started doing more sets...

IT'S YOUR MOVIE, AND SHE'S YOUR GUEST STAR
This was my epiphany from the Miami alumni boot-camp. Check out my Miami BC review. I'll spare the details here, except to say that once I started approaching women on MY terms -- as the star of MY movie, not hers -- everything changed. Literally overnight. I started giving off this energy, this glow that they wanted to bask in. I noticed this again BIG TIME on Saturday night, at this rooftop bar. Two brunettes were talking to a guy, and I could tell he was in THEIR movie. I approached clapping my hands like a retard. (I totally stole this from Owen. It's a non-technique technique. Just go full retard.) Anyway, me, with a mischievous grin: CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! I wasn't even talking. And both girls started laughing. I started singing along to the Jackson 5 song playing, and finally introduced myself. Penelope and Tara. ALL of their attention shifted from the other guy to me. They actually turned their back on him to face me, and I felt a bad for him because I've been that guy SO MANY times. Since I'd hooked them, I brought it down a notch from Full Retard to Let's Flirt and Chat. They're both cute, but I liked Penelope, who looks like the young Ileana Douglas. But it's tricky. Two girls, and I only like one. And my buddies weren't around to wing for me. What to do?

HOW TO HANDLE TWO GIRLS (WHEN YOU ONLY LIKE ONE)
This used to stymie me. You like Girl A, but Girl B is not going away. I think it was Alex who gave me the technique: You flirt with, tease and touch the one you want and treat the other one like a buddy -- but give BOTH attention. Girls are smart and intuitive. They'll know what's up. I made sure BOTH girls dug me but I channeled all my romantic intent toward Penelope, who was into me. But they both liked me. In fact, I had to beat down my ego with a rolled-up newspaper when the girls actually said to me, "We LOVE you. You're our favorite one here." Whoa. Down, big fella. Off the couch! Heel, boy! 

SECOND STRAIGHT PULL (SORT OF)
It's about 3am. Penelope says, "Tara and I are leaving." Me, being totally honest (but NOT needy): "No, you should stay. You're awesome. We haven't had one-on-one time." Her: "Well, I guess I could come back..." Me: "Let's put her in a cab and come back and talk." So we did. I FINALLY got my girl alone, and led her (lead, lead, lead!) to a quiet corner where we could sit and talk. I could tell she was kinda shy, compared to some club girls. I knew she was attracted, so I went into comfort gave. We talked about her son (she has an 8-year-old), travel, our careers. I tried to kiss her once or twice and she pulled back, but just out of shyness. When we finally made out, WOW. Amazing kisser! We left when the club closed and got in a cab. I dropped her off at her place. I did some logistical research, thinking how awesome it would be to have a second girl in two nights. She has a one-bedroom apt. She said her son was sleeping there, with the nanny. I knew she wasn't going to ask me up. I considered being bold and getting out of the cab and just assuming sex. But I didn't. I don't know... My ego would have loved two girls in two nights, but it didn't feel right. I didn't want to be that guy trying to fuck a girl while her son's asleep in the other room. We made a date and said good night. 

A great end to a great weekend. 

Thanks for reading, fellas. I hope you've found some value in a few of the lessons I've learned, and am still learning every weekend. 
__________________
 "A ship in port is safe, but that's not what ships are built for." --Grace Murray Hooper
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#2
Paris Boum Boum

Paris Boum Boum

Trusted Member

Join Date: 04/02/2009 | Posts: 2948

Hey man, I like your writing and I totally loved ALL your reviews. Many thanks for writing them, they are very educational and I am sure it took you a long time to get them out. 

I also love your methodical approach to your development, this is definitely what I didn't focus on after nights and nights of going out. I think I'll focus on precise missions like you are doing now next month. 

Inspirational, keep it up. 
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#3
Roark101

Roark101

Senior Member

Join Date: 11/19/2010 | Posts: 99

Thanks, Paris. Much obliged! "Methodical" is the perfect word. Well said. 

Indeed, it helps me to have very clear missions. It gives my nights clarity AND momentum, once I get the mission out of the way. I've intentionally started with the easier missions that can be done with a simple approach. 

Tonight is bowling night, where I'm gonna approach this bowling alley hottie. This girl is FINE, and very young... so I'm already nervous. I'm just gonna go in direct and try to NOT think about what I'll say. Just say hi, speak from the heart, and see what happens, knowing that I'll feel better about myself afterwards, no matter what. 

I'm learning that the only time I get down on myself is when I FAIL to act. It's about overcoming comfort/avoidance.

As Shakespeare said, "Action is eloquence."
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 "A ship in port is safe, but that's not what ships are built for." --Grace Murray Hooper
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#4
Roark101

Roark101

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Join Date: 11/19/2010 | Posts: 99

Bahaha! Thanks, synergist. I will! It helps me, too, knowing that I have to post all this stuff for you guys. Reporting on the good, bad and ugly helps keep me motivated. Thanks for the kinds words. They're appreciated. Will check in again in a few more days with, I hope, some more missions accomplished. 
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 "A ship in port is safe, but that's not what ships are built for." --Grace Murray Hooper
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#5
Cat

Cat

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Join Date: 12/03/2010 | Posts: 2371

Really great reports, loving the style, I will try to emulate it more since it's far more concept based and my reports are too long for people to read :D

Awesome
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#6

RSDNationer

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Join Date: 03/27/2009 | Posts: 2668

 This thread is funny. I thought it would be related to Alcoholics Annonamous somehow.

Anyways, here is one of my goals I wanna do but haven't been able to:
Finger two girls in a club back to back--and do not wash your hands. 
idk but that just sounds so fucking fun.
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#7
cklong

cklong

Member

Join Date: 10/15/2010 | Posts: 60

Loved your Miami report. Good on you for creating this thread and continuing to take action!

Here's an idea:

When you met Pen and Tara, they turned their backs on rando dude and left you to deal with them both by yourself. When you don't have a wing, you definitely nailed it for the right way to handle the situation (intent with your girl, buddy-up with the friend). However, you have the rando dude just standing there. Why not make use of him? If he's still there once the girls hook, you can just be like, "Hey man, I'm ..., how's it going?" and after a brief acknowledgemt just turn your attention back to your girl. He'll then feel welcomed back into the set and resume conversation with your girl's friend, becoming your improvised temp-wing. Of course, this strategy totally depends on the situation. If you think the guy will do more harm than good, definitely just leave him to drift away.

Honestly, I don't really know which way is most likely to end in a pull, so I'd love to hear some other opinions on this. I do this kind of thing a lot and it works really well for getting the girl one-on-one right off the bat. What I'm not sure about is whether or not it's better to take charge of both girls at first and wait until later on to figure out isolation. Thoughts?
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#8
Doge~

Doge~

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Join Date: 09/19/2007 | Posts: 3688

Dude you from NYC?  You gonna be at Free Tour/Hot Seat come late April?
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   Wow.
                   Such game.
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#9
progress-now

progress-now

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Join Date: 03/07/2011 | Posts: 636

destructive thread, Roark.  I'll be starting a challenge in April, but I'll be chekcing yours out for inspiration,

see ya and have fun out there!  Something tells me you're not gonna have bad nights for a while, you've improved since Miami, I see.
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#10
Roark101

Roark101

Senior Member

Join Date: 11/19/2010 | Posts: 99

 Thanks, guys. I'll update this SOON. Had a crazy Friday night, and a fun Saturday night, in which I learned a great lesson about the ramifications of NOT taking action. (Kicking myself...)

Anyway, Haze... I'll be out of town the week of the NYC Free Tour/Hot Seat. It's gonna kill me to miss it, but I'll be traveling. 
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 "A ship in port is safe, but that's not what ships are built for." --Grace Murray Hooper
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