THE FORUMS

December 9th, 2016
BE USEFUL TO THE GIRL
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GaryBusey

GaryBusey

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/01/2010 | Posts: 945

Yo people, Gary here again. I just had a few epiphanies. Here's the result. Feedback appreciated.

Cheers!




”We can't be useful to ourselves unless we're useful to others.” - Dalai Lama

Many of us who come into this community and learn about game, start out by trying to generate certain reactions in girls, trying to convey what we think that the specific girl would like to know about us, or even worse, trying to impress.

If you are somebody who can identify with this, I strongly believe that you want to keep on reading.

So, why did we do this? We simply tried to demonstrate our value in order to attract the girl or to gain a stamp of approval from her.

We thought that if we made the right impression, she would see what kind of cool guy we were.

If we generated a good reaction in her, we thought that she would have a good time and see us as a source of good emotions.

If we conveyed certain information about ourselves, we thought that the girl would realize that we were useful for her to be around.

They all go hand in hand, but ultimately they are not coming from a perspective that effectively will produce the result we are striving for. Whatever that is; sex, approval or friendship.

The perspective was about finding a way into her reality, make a good impact and then hope for a positive result.


However, we have now learned that the shit is to pull a girl into OUR reality.



We can have the same intention, to pull the girl home, but if it is coming from the perspective of pulling her into our reality and offering her value by doing that, we are coming from the right place internally. And our chances of succeeding drastically increase.

The thing we need to realize is that, even though we are pulling her into our reality, acting through our own intentions, offering her value, leading her, being physical and intimate with her, or whatever it is, we have to be useful to her.

What do I mean by that?

I mean that the girl needs her reason to be in our reality. (And ultimately to be in our reality for period of time until she goes home with us).

The key is that she wants our approval more than we want her approval. Ultimately, that is the first thing you come across when you break down what it means to be useful to her.

Let us say that you have been talking to a girl for two minutes, ten minutes or 30 minutes. At that particular moment, do you want her approval more than she wants yours? Not caring about the girl's approval is the same thing as freedom from outcome.

So, if she needs your approval more than you need her approval, does that mean she is going home with you?

Not necessarily. Sure there are girls that, if you surround yourself with them without caring about their approval, they will eventually want to have sex with you. In one of Tyler's recent videos, he gives an example of a girl who tries to kiss him and asks for his phone number, without him doing anything. That is because he has no need for her approval, and specially if the girl is really hot she might become very interested rather quickly. How many guys does she spend time with on a daily basis that does not care about her approval?

If you know that she needs the approval more, does that mean you approve her? Sure you can do that. BUT, and that is a big but, only after she has decided to sleep with you. (If that is your intention).

To make a girl really attracted means to spend time with her, when she needs your approval more than you need hers, without approving her, yet offering her a wide range of emotions.

So how do you do that? You know that she needs the approval and you are not approving her yet. Now what?

Here is where all the RSD concepts/ideas comes into play. Be the party. Relaxed arousal. Positive dominance. Command and challenge. Physical escalation. Offer value. Lead.

The first thing is to take full responsibility for the quality of your experience. If you then invite a girl into your reality (ultimately you can only invite her in, you will never be able to force her) you also take responsibility for the quality of her experience. You are now the man. When you do this, the girl will trust in the fact that you will lead her. Leading then happens automatically, if you take action.

The rest is up to you. Perhaps you prefer to talk to people, then talk enthusiastically about what you find interesting to talk about.

Or, you may prefer to be physical. Then be physical with her and invite her to be intimate with you at the venue.

You probably like to have fun. Then create the fun. Amuse yourself, and if she is in your reality she will be amused as well. Whatever you feel, she feels.

Or, you maybe like to get right down to it. Then be really sexual. Sexually escalate the situation.

If you are a dynamic person you most likely want to do all of these things. Remember, however, that the most important thing is to lead. (Every sticking point comes down to not leading). Because if you are not leading at all, yet having a sexual intention, you will need her permission to lead the situation towards sex.

And ooooops, now you need her approval and you have to start over again with the feminine- masculine dynamic.

Lastly, I have heard that ASSUMING ATTRACTION is the ultimate key to this game. I agree. I want to ask you this: How easy is it to assume attraction if you know that you trust the fact that you have all the attractive qualities in you? Such as self amusement, being physical, enthusiasm and leading. You are a man. You have them. You understand that you have them. Why would you not assume it? Why would your game not be a ten, if it comes down to your own choosing?

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Change but your mind on what you want to see, and all the world must change accordingly." -  A Course in Miracles
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#1
GaryBusey

GaryBusey

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Join Date: 11/01/2010 | Posts: 945

Thanks
Lateralus2 wrote:
Good post
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"There is no world apart from what you wish, and herein lies your ultimate release.
Change but your mind on what you want to see, and all the world must change accordingly." -  A Course in Miracles
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#2
GaryBusey

GaryBusey

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Join Date: 11/01/2010 | Posts: 945

Updated!
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"There is no world apart from what you wish, and herein lies your ultimate release.
Change but your mind on what you want to see, and all the world must change accordingly." -  A Course in Miracles
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#3
voodoo_child

voodoo_child

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Join Date: 01/19/2011 | Posts: 241

great stuff, nice one
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#4
GaryBusey

GaryBusey

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Join Date: 11/01/2010 | Posts: 945

Glad you liked it!
voodoo_child wrote:
great stuff, nice one
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"There is no world apart from what you wish, and herein lies your ultimate release.
Change but your mind on what you want to see, and all the world must change accordingly." -  A Course in Miracles
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#5
Kuz

Kuz

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Join Date: 09/05/2006 | Posts: 2661

 Started reading it then got bored. The definition of keyboard jockeying nonsense.

Go out and talk to girls, as i'm about to do.

Safe.
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Hai!!!

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#6
GaryBusey

GaryBusey

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/01/2010 | Posts: 945

Thought that was a given, but I am not sure, perhaps there are some people out there that believe they can fuck girls without doing SHIT.
Kuz wrote:
 Started reading it then got bored. The definition of keyboard jockeying nonsense.

Go out and talk to girls, as i'm about to do.

Safe.
__________________

thejourneyisnow.org

"There is no world apart from what you wish, and herein lies your ultimate release.
Change but your mind on what you want to see, and all the world must change accordingly." -  A Course in Miracles
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