THE FORUMS

December 5th, 2016
I SEE INFINITE AND IT SCARES ME
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socialstar

Senior Member

Join Date: 09/23/2009 | Posts: 152

Hello All.

This is my little post about where game has taken me into this journey that many of us call life.   (I'm sure that there will be a few posts about Tolle-ing it out lol)

So here's the story.  I got into game and had this expectation of being fixed and finding a resolution to the void I've been feeling all my life.  I took a bootcamp and had some crazy success after, like 2 different girls in 1 day off of cold approach!?  I had this momentum going and it was a huge battle between my ego and my hunger to succeed and attain the life I've never thought possible.  I went out consistently for awhile and my depression got the better of me because I was OBSESSED about pickup but having very little success at it.  There was this disconnect and neediness lurking in.  I don't remember if I consciously or unconsciously decided to take a long break from the whole pic- up scene but I was still lurking on the forum looking at the progress others were making.  Eventually, I hit a point of relaxation and allowing myself to be vulnerable.  It resulted in me going out and making out and getting the number from the hottest girl I've ever had the opportunity to get physical with.  It was so damn easy and yet one of the most nerve racking things I've ever done.

Now that I think about it, the deep identity level change doesn't happen on bootcamp, it doesn't happen from reading/watching all this pickup material but it comes from grinding in the field EVERYDAY.  Now that I've reached this level, I see the endless possibilities of social interactions and where it may lead me, and it scares the fuck out of me.  Has anybody experienced the same thing?  I'm thinking it's a success barrier and it there are lots of posts on entitlement and entitlement exercises but this is all Latin to me.  The only thing I can think of is to keep going out there and keep pushing it.  It's tough without a steady crew but it's a crutch right?

Pic for reference of HAWTNESS.

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i'm just gonna come in here and uh......

The FR

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#1
EarthQuakeMan

EarthQuakeMan

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Join Date: 07/29/2010 | Posts: 377

Lateralus2 wrote:
be
this is too deep for us miserable beings.
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#2
boondock saint

boondock saint

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Join Date: 01/11/2011 | Posts: 112

Lateralus2 wrote:
be

Somebodys been paying attention to their Tolle
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#3
Doge~

Doge~

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Join Date: 09/19/2007 | Posts: 3688

null
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   Wow.
                   Such game.
Much improve.
                              So amaze.
                 Wow.
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#4
Paris Boum Boum

Paris Boum Boum

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Join Date: 04/02/2009 | Posts: 2948

I had that exact same feeling and used the exact same expression (it was a sentence from Android that really resonated with me), you can read my report at the time here: http://www.rsdnation.com/node/154478?page=7. In a few words it was a bit like being Neo who can manipulate the matrix (minus the exaggeration that can come with that image).

IMO this is success barriers at their finest. It seems it happens when you are not used to success or to a specific kind of success.
How can you justify to yourself the eventual years you spent in depression / neediness / frustration / whatever, if all it took for you to get past it was to talk to people ? 
You can't. So it's as if your mind refuses to see reality. The rewiring must be so deep that as a system your mind doesn't want to do it and prefers to stay stable (so to speak). Like a fat guy who doesn't want to exercise and eats junk because he's already fat. 

Also it happens from time to time when I am just on point, chill and outside my head, and all the things that seemed so hard are totally effortless, like everything opens, every girl is attracted, everything is possible and the less efforts you put in the more result you get. It's disturbing, you realize you were doing it wrong all the time before, but you can't let go easily because you're used to it. 

Deep identity level change: they say you must be yourself, they don't say you must also be ready to be another person (with totally different thought patterns and views on the world).
When you realize that anything is possible, you really become another person, because we are all determined by our limitations and all the things we can"t do. 
You realize that everything you hold true about society, friendship, love, relationships, luck, randomness, etc, can be totally wrong. You realize that your identity may be completely arbitrary. 
You are scared to see the infinite in that limited being you thought you were. 

Good thing it didn't last long.
I didn't know what to do with that, plus I didn't have elite instructors tylor jlux results. It said more about my psychology than about my results. 

Chill out, and enjoy the ride with GhostBusty.
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#5
Manwhore

Manwhore

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Join Date: 11/08/2006 | Posts: 6925

 It's time.  You are no longer a chinese orphan 
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#6
knickerbocker

knickerbocker

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Join Date: 11/18/2010 | Posts: 240

i see the infinite and it doesnt scare me confused
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#7
Vic Sage

Vic Sage

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Join Date: 02/13/2008 | Posts: 404

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#8
UtopiaFive

UtopiaFive

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Join Date: 09/16/2008 | Posts: 4956

I ain't afraid of no ghost.  

BTW I'm confused...you said you went out a lot after bootcamp, didn't get results, STOPPED for a long time, then went out once again and made out with a hottie?  

And then you said "Deep identity-level change happens in the field."  But it sounds like you weren't going out between.  

Did I misread?  

BTW hot chick. 
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#9

socialstar

Senior Member

Join Date: 09/23/2009 | Posts: 152

UtopiaFive wrote:
I ain't afraid of no ghost.  

BTW I'm confused...you said you went out a lot after bootcamp, didn't get results, STOPPED for a long time, then went out once again and made out with a hottie?  

And then you said "Deep identity-level change happens in the field."  But it sounds like you weren't going out between.  

Did I misread?  

BTW hot chick. 
My apologies for the confusion.  Not so structured writing lol.

I went out consistently 2 - 3 nights a week after bootcamp.  I slid into a depression thinking I'd be super badass or see/do some crazy shit.  Night after night, it was a rejection after rejection and it started to get blurry.  After that, I started to drink with friends and sometimes get smashed before/during our outing.  I'd go out and hit the field but I'd suck and felt worse because of the alcohol amplifying the feelings I already had.  I didn't stop going out completely but I took a break from the whole pick-up agenda, going out there and subject myself to torture.  Manwhore could attest that during my bootcamp I wasn't looking like I wanted to be there, if anything, I hated it and had a very negative attitude but I trucked through it.

That night was something different.  I took a break from drinking and I just went out because I started to feel really uncomfortable being at home.  I got to this little underground warehouse party and I saw her as she was leaving.  In my mind something just clicked, something along the lines of that's mine.  I went straight in and blew up the circle.  Did the routine we're married and physical stack, hand shake twirl into a hug and makeout, grab the number and poof she was gone.
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i'm just gonna come in here and uh......

The FR

April 2010 Tyler Alumni
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