THE FORUMS

July 25th, 2017
WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU REALIZED YOU WERE OUT OF FUCKING CONTROL?
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#61
JFM

JFM

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Join Date: 12/13/2007 | Posts: 2236

Motherfucker....that video just posted about the book In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts by Gabor Mate has EIGHTEEN HITS.    Holy fuck....18. 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYhP3ahVeg8

And this narcissist has close to 70 MILLION hits for her video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bESGLojNYSo

Just to give a bit of an idea of what's going on.  Seriously.
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“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.”
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#62
ambiguity

ambiguity

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Join Date: 10/28/2009 | Posts: 5330

@ JFM

I may have to checkout that book. He sounds quite intriguing. I am intrigued. Where did you get all those stages from? I wasn't sure where all that came from. You said that, Ecky is stuck at the third stage for something about joining Ophra's book club? Could you elaborate on where those stages came from? I am quite intrigued. A lot of interesting ideas got put in here. I watched the full youtube video. I heard Gabor's speech on environment and addictions vs what others argue being genetics. In my own opinion, I think seeing destructive relationships in others, family, and so on, I have built up walls here. I think this is something I should work on. I engage in many disposable relationships and many of the ones I should run with, I bail on or avoid all together. I did read the http://www.amazon.com/Realm-Hungry-Ghosts-Encounters-Addiction/dp/155643... book from here or as much as you could. I am quite interested in checking it out. Any more recommendations? What is your thoughts on Addiction? Advise?

JFM , what do you do for a career? What is your dream? What is your plans for the future? I want to work with people, something like this fella, help people, self help, travel, and live it up but, I need to get myself sorted of course. 

@ Brah

I love Alex's video from Japan I believe. He speaks of "cognitive dissonance," that conflict of who and what you are clashing with how you feel and what you do. It was quite enlightening. I hope Alex posts some new videos soon. I love the videos. For me, drinking and drugs isn't much of a problem or maybe it is. It was before at one time or another. Things like alcohol, drugs, gambling, etc are all things I avoid. I suppose I have a very addictive personality. I suppose the same is evident in sex. Its all a work in progress.

I've graduated through different levels as many speak of. Still, I am at this plateau and its taking me a bit to get out of it but, I will manage to get through and get onto something greater.

I am trying to find acceptance at the current moment. Testing blows and waiting sucks even more. Its a struggle. My dreams are pretty fucked up at the moment. To be quite honest, it reminds me of Waking Life or Vanilla sky yet, still more pleasurable then waking life at the moment. I know this will pass.
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Jlaix: You are rather cheeky I admit but the self amusing authentic avi makes it impossible to hate!
Tyler:This is ultimately one of the keys to the game -- viewing EVERYTHING AS A JOKE. It's ALL funny.
Tim:`How can I make this fun?
brad:This thread got Ambiguity banned, you can thank me later. Zack G: Ambiguity is becoming the Howard Roark of RSD!
Alex: "The famous ambiguity!" + "This is what happens when your naturally attractive; cheekyinnit#! Ambiguity: I don't chase, I replace.


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#63
baconfever

baconfever

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Join Date: 09/01/2010 | Posts: 337

There's no doubt I'm reading that book. Shit.. All the things he spoke of in that movie is my life. I'm also diagnosed with ADD, doing the same things..

And also. Immagine, not just only as an infant you pick up stress etc from your parents, but as you develop through nine months. Inside a woman with anxiety, anger, depression, or whatever psychic condition, you are recieving the same shit.
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#64
ambiguity

ambiguity

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Join Date: 10/28/2009 | Posts: 5330

baconfever wrote:
There's no doubt I'm reading that book. Shit.. All the things he spoke of in that movie is my life. I'm also diagnosed with ADD, doing the same things..

And also. Immagine, not just only as an infant you pick up stress etc from your parents, but as you develop through nine months. Inside a woman with anxiety, anger, depression, or whatever psychic condition, you are recieving the same shit.
Sorry to hear that mate. I come from a wonferful family. There was none of this though, like all human beings, we all have our issues. Further more, beyond being a typical married couple, little is there that is destructive, and I too intend to go that route one day.

JFM has added quite a bit of helpful advise. I am intriged by that book. I definitely need to give it a go. I suppose, I use sex to deal with stress or as a means to escape. The more thrills, the better or so I had thought. I am considering going onto building myself further and developing a stronger relationship that isn't as selfish as what I am doing now.

Jeffy told Dotty, "your at the mercy of fate." It got me thinking about "fate," if we are at the mercy of it, if it is our destiny or if it what we make of ourselves, the life we live, and the choices we make that lead up to our outcome.

As Russell Brand has said in his book, "we are all loterry winners." We were the strongest of our kind, we are born, and yet, it is clearly evident that some of us are born with genetic traits that are sought and desired.

I seen a tv special on Autism on the Doc Oz show. Its a shame. I think from birth, some of us are given strengths, and others carry weaknesses. I suppose we take the good with the bad. Try to make up the most of it. Work on probability and the universal laws to help our cause. Hopefully, its a noble one.

I am still a little scared about the tests that await me but, I appreciate the support fellas. I am going to go and look back on the thread for advise I may have over looked.
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Jlaix: You are rather cheeky I admit but the self amusing authentic avi makes it impossible to hate!
Tyler:This is ultimately one of the keys to the game -- viewing EVERYTHING AS A JOKE. It's ALL funny.
Tim:`How can I make this fun?
brad:This thread got Ambiguity banned, you can thank me later. Zack G: Ambiguity is becoming the Howard Roark of RSD!
Alex: "The famous ambiguity!" + "This is what happens when your naturally attractive; cheekyinnit#! Ambiguity: I don't chase, I replace.


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#65
JFM

JFM

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Join Date: 12/13/2007 | Posts: 2236

I am still a little scared about the tests that await me but, I appreciate the support fellas. I am going to go and look back on the thread for advise I may have over looked.
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You have to understand that ( as you know) 95% of us men don't want to look at our deal unless we really have to.   And most people honestly feel that the path of action they're taking has a strong chance of working out.

I live in South America and have my own English teaching business....which is going really well.

Dreams?  That's linked to will....your self esteem re-awakens and then you actually KNOW what you want, and take responsibility to get it.   You grieve and wake up and connect the dots ( sometimes you wake up on Mars).  Gabor Mate is the kind of guy  who speaks and you can feel his authenticity right to the core.    

I'm getting closer to the "dreams" concept as I get my self esteem more and more in line.  For me it has been about three main things:

1. Hang in there a day at a time and stick to right actions, even if they aren't earth shattering.  Being POSITIVE...feeling feelings too.  Negative etc. 
2. Slowly distancing from my reference group of people.
3. Over the long haul, a day at a time, use alternative health care.   Biomagnetism and acupressure for me.

Plus, I work out a lot.  The thing about the reference group is a fucking killer.   Your world becomes your level of self esteem....so to change it you have to go cold turkey on a lot of associations.

I really think you're golden on your idea of helping other people out on your own process.   Everyone's different, but I bet you're going to feel great in the future helping out people who were where you are now.    And you KNOW what it's like and can connect.

How about that for a value offering position in life.   Like giving people around you millions of dollars, except much much more valuable.

Gabor Mate is a fine place to get info.

This guy, Earnie Larsen, is old school.  Really old school.  But he's as solid as a brick shithouse.   Workin' man's man.  He hit bottom at about 90 miles an hour and knows the deal. 
http://www.earnie.com/

This stuff still all has to evolve, and my big beef with it is that it goes towards UNISEX.....de-sexualized.   I don't like that.   Maybe gven your experience on the aspect of the "sexworthy man" ( even if it's infected with addiction ....which is human anyway) can help a lot of people too,

There is nothing worse than trying to gain self esteem and DESEXUALIZE yourself in the process....or make like "one on one" man to woman "intimacy" is the supposed OUTCOME of high self esteem...and that relationships SHOULD look like that.  New Age S-H-I-T.  I avoid it like the plague now.

I think that New Age self help is mostly pure bullshit, and a lot of women in the addiction field move towards that....but they are offering such huge huge value that it overshadows it.

I always say the book "Facing Codependency" ( Pia Mellody) is one of the best out there.   Another Gabor Mate type vibe.   Also anything by Melody Beattie.  They don't get into sexworthiness though ( in a male way).   And I think this is a problem.  A big big problem.     

You're seriously getting massive value on those resources.    I've filtered a lot...and those are good.
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#66
Mizu

Mizu

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Join Date: 08/28/2007 | Posts: 542

Yeah, I just came through my own existential phase... like macking girls night after night eventually feeling like "WTF IS THE POINT OF THIS SHIT", lol literally CRYING one night after fucking some girl and her snoring yes to me *(yes, she was very hot LOL!) 

long story short, Women don't bring happiness. Nothing external does. That's why chodes who base their whole happiness, self-esteem, and enjoyment of life on Women alone have EMPTY LIVES... working jobs they hate with hardly any friends living in some house wiht some boring woman noone else wanted.

Yet natural on the other hand usually tend to have really full lives, awesome & complete without the NEED for women to make it more enjoyable. Women to them are just a way to blow off steam.

Maybe I have a fucked up paradigm but I think girlfriends / marriage is just some happily ever after fairy tale bullshit. I've been in multiple LTRs with gorgeous intelligent women and the feeling of "love" and deep satisfaction I get from a refreshing surf sesh or producing music are 10x greater...

life is good 8]
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#67
Holland

Holland

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Join Date: 06/24/2008 | Posts: 769

This guy is awesome. Thanks for sharing. I also saw him featured in the new Zeitgeist movie, but hadn't checked out more of him.
This is another great clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ycpETpqxYq0&feature=related

I just want to mention the fact, that a valuable thread can come from a guy facing up to his destructive tendencies.
Like Ozzie said in one of his latest post: There is great power in owning up to the fact that you can't deal with something (that you're currently powerless). This get's your ego out of the way that is too proud to admit weaknesses. With authenticity about a weakness, it creates a space to transform the weakness and grow from it. You can seek out helpful resources and make plans for action to alter it.
We usually don't do these types of things as there are short-term payoffs that we don't want to give up. Facing up to inauthenticity has long-term benefits, but has short-term pain, so we tend to avoid it. The more you can give up short-term gain and invest in long-term gain, the more healthy, happy and effective you'll be in life.
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#68
Jack of Hearts

Jack of Hearts

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Join Date: 01/14/2008 | Posts: 1047

baconfever wrote:
There's no doubt I'm reading that book. Shit.. All the things he spoke of in that movie is my life. I'm also diagnosed with ADD, doing the same things..

And also. Immagine, not just only as an infant you pick up stress etc from your parents, but as you develop through nine months. Inside a woman with anxiety, anger, depression, or whatever psychic condition, you are recieving the same shit.
Gabor Mate has written a book about ADD as well...
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#69
ambiguity

ambiguity

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Join Date: 10/28/2009 | Posts: 5330

Well, I am pretty much at the point of pushing forward and past this. Not sure what the answer is but, I am definitely going to check out this lads books. I am quite greatful for the tips and advice.

JFM - Why this distance from the "new age" movement? Are you religious? Have any form of spirituality in your life?

Personally, I find that, its typically the lack of spirituality in my life that leads to the manic lows or downs. The thing about hitting bottom is, you can always go up from there but, the lag time in between sucks.

Mizu - I haven't gone that route of a relationship in sometime. For ages, I have just had flings, fool around, and pull randoms. Some I see again for a skewed time line, anything between weeks, months, year or so. It runs dry and I continue back to the drawing board.

In the process, as I mentioned above, I've chucked some quality girls in the past, and I've had regrets about it. I don't lose sleep about it. I know more will come. Its again a form of self sabotage. I am intrigued by Gabor Mate' and the topics he touches on. He seems quite dynamic.

As for the topic of "quality girls/women," I seem to meet this a drift or abroad, Something compelling is present. Call it "being" or "value." She illuminates something different. Call it a what you like. Its intriguing.

Something seems acquired in the interaction. Had I not experienced such a phenomenon, I would not believe such a thing exists and yet, having experienced it, anything else would be settling for mediocrity in my opinion.

The more I experience, the more I question the possibility of monogamy or marriage and happily ever after. I suppose the key element is inner happiness not, developing a relationship to strength self, and a larger ego.

Holland - I totlally agree and I need to checkout his book. I read in spurts and I took the advice to reread Tolle. Its been hectic time. I think Gabor Mate' is definitely a worthy read. This powerless you speak of that Ozzie brought up is interesting. I am definitely in a downward spirial of insanity. Ironically enough, if you met me in the streets, you would not have the slightest of clue of what is going on cause, I turn on the charm. I flirt with everyone, guy or girl only, its not sexual with men. Its all about the universal laws, to illuminate true beauty, to present it in a manner of "there are no ordinary moments in life," and with that said, to make the most of each situation even if you are suffering.

My life up till now is about pushing past barriers, being my best self but, even in the process, you fuck up as I have. Like it was said, we have all hit the jackpot with birth though, at times in our lives, it clearly does not feel like that.

I see an opportunity for growth but, at times, it becomes quite difficult. I am looking to aim for a quality purpose. Not so much seek it out or find an answer but, to be apart of the solution.

You lose control but, I suppose its part of the process.
__________________
Jlaix: You are rather cheeky I admit but the self amusing authentic avi makes it impossible to hate!
Tyler:This is ultimately one of the keys to the game -- viewing EVERYTHING AS A JOKE. It's ALL funny.
Tim:`How can I make this fun?
brad:This thread got Ambiguity banned, you can thank me later. Zack G: Ambiguity is becoming the Howard Roark of RSD!
Alex: "The famous ambiguity!" + "This is what happens when your naturally attractive; cheekyinnit#! Ambiguity: I don't chase, I replace.


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#70
JFM

JFM

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Join Date: 12/13/2007 | Posts: 2236

ambiguity wrote:
JFM - Why this distance from the "new age" movement? Are you religious? Have any form of spirituality in your life?

Personally, I find that, its typically the lack of spirituality in my life that leads to the manic lows or downs. The thing about hitting bottom is, you can always go up from there but, the lag time in between sucks.
The New Age movement is desexualized....and as such it keeps a huge self-destruction module in place.  

For me, my toughest challenge is going to be facing up to myself as a guy who can fuck women and invite women into my life and not get sucked into the hole of "intimacy one to one".  To have healthy boundaries and not see the world through my upbringing and family history.   To get my own identity...something that is massively shut down in modern society.    New Age is unisex.  It's mostly feminine.   Telling everyone to "heal" so that they can get into a life of desexualization.

Try arguing with a New Ager about this....they'll tell you that you're crazy.   Of course on the other hand a compulsively sexual man is also desexualized.

It's a tough one to sort out...each guy has to walk the steps.   I do listen to people who take out gender from the human experience....but it's hard to take it seriously when polarity is life itself.   Hell, even the Earth itself has a North and South pole.    I'm glad I now have that boundary to just say no to the arguments. 

I'm following Tolle and he ends up on Oprah and then partners with her offering courses.    Complete denial.  Using something positive ( meditation) as a drug to avoid your dick.

The "Higher Power" idea  is my spirituality.   You can't do anything without this.   Of course I try to anyway....
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“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.”
- African Proverb
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