THE FORUMS
The key to get past it is simple: Identify all forms of mood alteration/soothing type stuff (habitual behaviors which have negative long-term consequences but short-term payoffs) and kick them to the motherfucking curb. You just quit. And the best way to quit is systematically and progressively, one bit at a time. Too much change is too stressful and you fall of the wagon and then beat yourself up over it, which creates more stress. Highly unpractical. I started doing one 'change project' at a time based upon my own estimation and experience.
Food was just one example. I'm also addicted to people's validation, especially the post-success high after getting girls. Alcohol was a big one as well, but I've quit it altogether. Porn is another one. Excessive playing of video-games. Excessive analysing (not directed at constructive cognitive projects I'm working on but just random about everything) as a way to distract my attention from my body experience. Ego-enhancement is a fucking huge one aswell (thinking thoughts in which you negatively judge others and positively judge yourself so you can feel good about yourself).
The food thing is easily solved: Just don't buy shit food so you don't have it in the house and can't eat it when you crave it.
I had to start laughing at all these petty tendencies I have, but most people will just don't even look at this type of shit and deny they even have them. I guess their life is challenging enough as it is...
If it ain't interfering with their functioning in society, they just don't bother. "If you get by, it's all fine." seems to be the motto. Living to survive, instead of living to make the best possible experience for yourself.
"Too much change..." reminds me of Paris' 100 day - implement change thread. Good stuff mate.Food was just one example. I'm also addicted to people's validation, especially the post-success high after getting girls. Alcohol was a big one as well, but I've quit it altogether. Porn is another one. Excessive playing of video-games. Excessive analysing (not directed at constructive cognitive projects I'm working on but just random about everything) as a way to distract my attention from my body experience. Ego-enhancement is a fucking huge one aswell (thinking thoughts in which you negatively judge others and positively judge yourself so you can feel good about yourself).
The food thing is easily solved: Just don't buy shit food so you don't have it in the house and can't eat it when you crave it.
I had to start laughing at all these petty tendencies I have, but most people will just don't even look at this type of shit and deny they even have them. I guess their life is challenging enough as it is...
If it ain't interfering with their functioning in society, they just don't bother. "If you get by, it's all fine." seems to be the motto. Living to survive, instead of living to make the best possible experience for yourself.
Yeah, I get this rush from girls as well. Like, the girl is eye fucking the shit out of me, "YEAH, I AM THE MAN!."
Then, I catch myself. I remind myself, I am "the man" but, not cause she checked me out. I am the man cause of no X factor. I just am.
All that cognitive projects, vision boards, stimulants, and distractions are key. I got my vision board going, some serious goals outside stunners, and pulling.
It feels good but, I notice, the closer I get to portraying my full potential, I spoil it by my own brilliance.
Example, I hooked up with a group of girls in London. I seen a group of girls from Germany. They were hot but, I passed them on to my Chode mate. He couldn't handle them.
Sure enough, we were heading back to my room and my chode mate pretty much neglected them. I should of dismissed the London girls, brought back the German girls, and went Shane Diseal on that shit.
Instead, I had my fun with the brits who were of course going to be there in the morning. Fucking hell.
DId this in my work place as well. Picking up girls but, spoiling other opportunities for myself, getting written up or sacked. Chucking a "quality girl" for a hot skank.
I sigh as I write this. What I can say that Tony gave me is the key to opening doors I never knew existed. Ecky speaks about "awakening" in A new Earth. Tony started this process.
I tap into my potentiality that usually lays dormant likely out of laziness, the fact I've been handed so much in my life, and I suppose I take for granted.
Things like my dream job, my good looks, fitness, awesome body, money, great family, my mates, women, and the beautiful places I've traveled aside from so much more.
Like Tyler Durdan/Brad Pitt says in fight club, "its only after you lost everything (attachment), that you are free to do anything."
After hitting bottom mate, you can only come up. Good luck on your life journey.
__________________
Jlaix: You are rather cheeky I admit but the self amusing authentic avi makes it impossible to hate!
Tyler:This is ultimately one of the keys to the game -- viewing EVERYTHING AS A JOKE. It's ALL funny.
Tim:`How can I make this fun?
brad:This thread got Ambiguity banned, you can thank me later.
Zack G: Ambiguity is becoming the Howard Roark of RSD!
Alex: "The famous ambiguity!" + "This is what happens when your naturally attractive; cheekyinnit#!
Ambiguity: I don't chase, I replace.
Tyler:This is ultimately one of the keys to the game -- viewing EVERYTHING AS A JOKE. It's ALL funny.
Tim:`How can I make this fun?
brad:This thread got Ambiguity banned, you can thank me later.
Zack G: Ambiguity is becoming the Howard Roark of RSD!
Alex: "The famous ambiguity!" + "This is what happens when your naturally attractive; cheekyinnit#!
Ambiguity: I don't chase, I replace.
I think the answer here is to go through the process for yourself over a period of a year or so and see where you are at that point. Recovery from addiction is not something you "explain". It's something you experience. It's about waking up and living. And when the pain killers wear off, it's going to hurt. You'll need support. I've followed this path because I was born into an addict system more explicitly, but as you'll see from Gabor Mate's work, he sees the bigger picture.
__________________
“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.”
- African Proverb
- African Proverb
I think the answer here is to go through the process for yourself over a period of a year or so and see where you are at that point. Recovery from addiction is not something you "explain". It's something you experience. It's about waking up and living. And when the pain killers wear off, it's going to hurt. You'll need support. I've followed this path because I was born into an addict system more explicitly, but as you'll see from Gabor Mate's work, he sees the bigger picture.
Thanks. What other advise can you give after that PM I sen you? What is your goals for yourself? What centers you? One mate told me, the highs and lows, they center us, and give us true balance.
It would be nice to side step them entirely but, this is not the way of the world. The "entourage lifestyle" isn't either but, its typically, what we as people, young men especially aspire or desire to live out or achieve.
I am greatful for your tips and advice. Paris, Holland and ton of others. I look forward to Tyler's video as well.
I look forward to reading this book and gaining some new insight.
Currently, looking to materializing my goals, and make something of my self.
i posted about inceptions, of an "idea." What is that? Its something. Its nothing till its materialized and tangible. Without action, its real yet, its something more intangible.
its a bit of a mind fuck. I believe there is no way to remove suffering or dissonance completely. Its there and its just about cooping with it.
Once I read, I will add more of this. More alarming is the next generation, more particularly, family, younger version of me wilding out of control, and acting up.
This is got me thinking of setting better examples.
__________________
Jlaix: You are rather cheeky I admit but the self amusing authentic avi makes it impossible to hate!
Tyler:This is ultimately one of the keys to the game -- viewing EVERYTHING AS A JOKE. It's ALL funny.
Tim:`How can I make this fun?
brad:This thread got Ambiguity banned, you can thank me later.
Zack G: Ambiguity is becoming the Howard Roark of RSD!
Alex: "The famous ambiguity!" + "This is what happens when your naturally attractive; cheekyinnit#!
Ambiguity: I don't chase, I replace.
Tyler:This is ultimately one of the keys to the game -- viewing EVERYTHING AS A JOKE. It's ALL funny.
Tim:`How can I make this fun?
brad:This thread got Ambiguity banned, you can thank me later.
Zack G: Ambiguity is becoming the Howard Roark of RSD!
Alex: "The famous ambiguity!" + "This is what happens when your naturally attractive; cheekyinnit#!
Ambiguity: I don't chase, I replace.
And when the pain killers wear off, it's going to hurt.
That's it. When you drop the soothing behaviors, you're going to experience pain.That's when you gotta stay with your attention inside the experience. Not dissociate and float above it, disidentifying with the ego/pain-body, this is just another way of running away from your experience. Inside and outside the room at the same time. You don't get lost in the pain and create a sad story about it, but you experience it fully. You take it like a man. You've got to learn to become like Wheatson from Wild Nights:
"Wheatson was a poet," Mykonos said, referring to a soldier he knew who died in Vietnam. "He was a great man, capable of converting the most hellish circumstances into poetry."
__________________
Game is the utilization of external events, people and circumstances (that life presents you with), by expressing yourself in a way that (re)frames the social context in such a way that it confirms (is congruent with) your sense of reality and anticipated responses. This roughly means you only think, interpret, feel and behave in a way that supports your reality and expectations.
FREE BOOK ON SELF-CHANGE DROPPING AT JANUARY 1ST, 2012
At my website: www.identityisdynamic.com
FREE BOOK ON SELF-CHANGE DROPPING AT JANUARY 1ST, 2012
At my website: www.identityisdynamic.com
I spent the past year partying with club promoters, models, small time actresses, and other so called "high value" people. Still, I found myself in an uncomfort zone or finding some aspects of the lifestyle "disgusting." Go figure, I am finding myself here now.
I think Ecky means well and does a lot of good but, these people are sign posts. "The finger pointing to the moon is not the moon." - Buddha
Its all sign posts. That are the truths that self help and religion points too.
Where I notice Ecky's ego is in talking about non judgement yet, pointing out the shames of Christianity, the Muslim faith, and others.
I mean, we are categorized by how we look (beautiful, ugly), politics, social status, finances, career, religion, and a variety of other ways. I already know it is paradoxical.
Still, to encapsulate everyone by a group be it a religion or ethnicity or anything is ludicrous.
I notice people saying "go read Ecky bro." I seen people preaching Ecky, cramming it down someone's throat on Oprah or in real life. Threatening a relationship if not going that route.
Its not much different then say the "evil" side of religion which in fact doesn't incorporate everyone within a group.
The same applies for Christianity (holy inquisition), Muslims (hate cause of 9/11), Eck or the community for example.
It would be like attacking Eckhart cause, what other people say and use his material for. I mean, common? We are on a fucking PUA site at the moment speaking about "consciousness" & "being" yet, putting it towards pulling hotties or for some, anything that moves.
I imagine, Ecky wasn't aiming for pick up or pulling random hot girls. Again, not judging but, only pointing out the obvious.
I find being "sex worthy" prob the most absurd thing I've seen in the forums. A person's quality based upon pulling or women or making millions is a losing cause.
I trigued by the book, "the monk who sold his ferrari." Looks like a great read at this point in my life.
I am in the community as we speak and I am reading Eckhart Tolle at the moment ironically enough.
To each their own. I think encapsulating everyone based on specific groups or sub groups is conpletely obnoxious.
Quite excited about learning more about this Gabor Mate fellow.
Thanks Holland, JFM, Paris, Tyler, & everyone w/ their contribution to the thread.
That's when you gotta stay with your attention inside the experience. Not dissociate and float above it, disidentifying with the ego/pain-body, this is just another way of running away from your experience. Inside and outside the room at the same time. You don't get lost in the pain and create a sad story about it, but you experience it fully. You take it like a man. You've got to learn to become like Wheatson from Wild Nights:
"Wheatson was a poet," Mykonos said, referring to a soldier he knew who died in Vietnam. "He was a great man, capable of converting the most hellish circumstances into poetry."
I think Ecky means well and does a lot of good but, these people are sign posts. "The finger pointing to the moon is not the moon." - Buddha
Its all sign posts. That are the truths that self help and religion points too.
Where I notice Ecky's ego is in talking about non judgement yet, pointing out the shames of Christianity, the Muslim faith, and others.
I mean, we are categorized by how we look (beautiful, ugly), politics, social status, finances, career, religion, and a variety of other ways. I already know it is paradoxical.
Still, to encapsulate everyone by a group be it a religion or ethnicity or anything is ludicrous.
I notice people saying "go read Ecky bro." I seen people preaching Ecky, cramming it down someone's throat on Oprah or in real life. Threatening a relationship if not going that route.
Its not much different then say the "evil" side of religion which in fact doesn't incorporate everyone within a group.
The same applies for Christianity (holy inquisition), Muslims (hate cause of 9/11), Eck or the community for example.
It would be like attacking Eckhart cause, what other people say and use his material for. I mean, common? We are on a fucking PUA site at the moment speaking about "consciousness" & "being" yet, putting it towards pulling hotties or for some, anything that moves.
I imagine, Ecky wasn't aiming for pick up or pulling random hot girls. Again, not judging but, only pointing out the obvious.
I find being "sex worthy" prob the most absurd thing I've seen in the forums. A person's quality based upon pulling or women or making millions is a losing cause.
I trigued by the book, "the monk who sold his ferrari." Looks like a great read at this point in my life.
I am in the community as we speak and I am reading Eckhart Tolle at the moment ironically enough.
To each their own. I think encapsulating everyone based on specific groups or sub groups is conpletely obnoxious.
Quite excited about learning more about this Gabor Mate fellow.
Thanks Holland, JFM, Paris, Tyler, & everyone w/ their contribution to the thread.
And when the pain killers wear off, it's going to hurt.
That's it. When you drop the soothing behaviors, you're going to experience pain.That's when you gotta stay with your attention inside the experience. Not dissociate and float above it, disidentifying with the ego/pain-body, this is just another way of running away from your experience. Inside and outside the room at the same time. You don't get lost in the pain and create a sad story about it, but you experience it fully. You take it like a man. You've got to learn to become like Wheatson from Wild Nights:
"Wheatson was a poet," Mykonos said, referring to a soldier he knew who died in Vietnam. "He was a great man, capable of converting the most hellish circumstances into poetry."
__________________
Jlaix: You are rather cheeky I admit but the self amusing authentic avi makes it impossible to hate!
Tyler:This is ultimately one of the keys to the game -- viewing EVERYTHING AS A JOKE. It's ALL funny.
Tim:`How can I make this fun?
brad:This thread got Ambiguity banned, you can thank me later.
Zack G: Ambiguity is becoming the Howard Roark of RSD!
Alex: "The famous ambiguity!" + "This is what happens when your naturally attractive; cheekyinnit#!
Ambiguity: I don't chase, I replace.
Tyler:This is ultimately one of the keys to the game -- viewing EVERYTHING AS A JOKE. It's ALL funny.
Tim:`How can I make this fun?
brad:This thread got Ambiguity banned, you can thank me later.
Zack G: Ambiguity is becoming the Howard Roark of RSD!
Alex: "The famous ambiguity!" + "This is what happens when your naturally attractive; cheekyinnit#!
Ambiguity: I don't chase, I replace.
Hey mate, keep your head up. Whatever you are feeling physically could just be psychosomatic, you don't know.
Just try to keep your head together as best you can. You can really cause yourself a great deal of pain (mental and physical) if you don't keep your thoughts in check. Good luck.
Thanks mate. I went over some of the older posts in the thread from earlier pages. Seen some great advice on some posts I may have missed or overlooked. You lads are great fellas.Just try to keep your head together as best you can. You can really cause yourself a great deal of pain (mental and physical) if you don't keep your thoughts in check. Good luck.
Are any of you familar with a former RSDN Instructor by the name of Ciaran?
He asked to be removed from RSDN but, any way, he apparently still says the guys are great, that RSDN is the way but, there is no intricate tangible or intangible value from secution.
Like Jeffy says, "seduction will not save you." Like Madison said in the thread, "its a catch 22. A rock between a hard place."
If in a decade from now, I am still in the same place, I will have failed, and my dreams as well as my waking life are definite indicators.
JFM mate, I am greatful to the resources you recommended. I am checking it out and I will come back to reflect upon some of the realizations that I encounter following Gabor's material.
10Pin, Madison, JFM, Holland, & all you fellas that responded, I wish you well on your journey. Originally, I was going to pack it in. Call it time to move on.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/newsnight/9053238.stm
Russell Brand depicts his life from going from rags to riches as well as the element of "success." Much like his experience with acquiring success, I to can relate to with community based "success."
Having women vs not having women? There is no value tangible or intangible in acquiring women or getting laid yet, there is even less in not being able to pick up girls especially, the sort of girls you want to be with.
This is not my pic nor my video. I was in such a place recently. It hasn't been long. Its nice to see some true essence of beautfy, to illuminate your own, to be apart of something more real, and loving.
This is not living in my own values as someone already stated in this thread. Being out of control is not apart of the equation. Its been said, through hitting bottom, you find your own centering, and thus, your true essence."
So, discovering what it is all about is where I am at now. Self love, not ego based enhancement or a false sense of self is what I am seeking. My goals are different now. The same but, only different in varying degrees.
I highly recommend Gabore Mate' if you are not familar with him. I like how he indicates from the get go that, I do not provide an answer to the problem at hand. Gabor is part of a solution in a crazy world full of problems.
Maybe there is no "solution" but, living in accordance to your values and beliefs to your utmost best of your abilities.
I continue to ask myself, am I part of the solution or part of the problem? As of now, I have a beautiful girl in my life. I have several others yet, one stands out more then the rest. Ususally, I disregard her like my memory is bad. This is how I have spent my life.
She is not a means to an end nor my savior but, a means to a new challenge in my life.
__________________
Jlaix: You are rather cheeky I admit but the self amusing authentic avi makes it impossible to hate!
Tyler:This is ultimately one of the keys to the game -- viewing EVERYTHING AS A JOKE. It's ALL funny.
Tim:`How can I make this fun?
brad:This thread got Ambiguity banned, you can thank me later.
Zack G: Ambiguity is becoming the Howard Roark of RSD!
Alex: "The famous ambiguity!" + "This is what happens when your naturally attractive; cheekyinnit#!
Ambiguity: I don't chase, I replace.
Tyler:This is ultimately one of the keys to the game -- viewing EVERYTHING AS A JOKE. It's ALL funny.
Tim:`How can I make this fun?
brad:This thread got Ambiguity banned, you can thank me later.
Zack G: Ambiguity is becoming the Howard Roark of RSD!
Alex: "The famous ambiguity!" + "This is what happens when your naturally attractive; cheekyinnit#!
Ambiguity: I don't chase, I replace.
This "Ambiguity" is all talk. A silly dude with no women in his life, who spends his days bragging about the women he has fucked (not a single one), and writing spiritual non-scientific bullshit.
It's so easy to spot when you read posts from a validation-seeking pseudo-player.
Dude has no game, no job and ain't even good-looking. The only thing out of control is your need to portray a fake identity on an online-forum.
It's so easy to spot when you read posts from a validation-seeking pseudo-player.
Dude has no game, no job and ain't even good-looking. The only thing out of control is your need to portray a fake identity on an online-forum.
"The Don Juan story. The obsessive womanizer. He's this creative, charming, and energetic man. A daring adventurer, but a coward morally, who never finds peace within. His erotic passion is insatiable; no matter how often its consummated, it leaves him restless and disastisfied. And his poetic talent and his drive for mastery only serve his relentless need to possess. Its always about the next acquisition--he even keeps a notebook listing his amorous conquests. He has many, many opportunities for salvation, but he spurns them all. He torments others and sacrifices his own mortal soul. He scorns repentance, and in the end, he's dragged down to hell." pg 106 The realm of the hungry ghosts - ph 4
"Addictions even resemble normal human yearnings, are more about desire then attainment. In the addicted mode, the emotional charge is in the pursuit and acquisition of the desired object, not in the possession and enjoyment of it. The greates pleasure is in the momentary satisfaction of yearning." pg 107 The realm of the hungry ghosts - ph 4
"Just one more' is the binding factor in the circle of suffering," writes the Buddhist monk and teacher Sakyong Mippham.
JFM - The book is amazing. It deeply touches on addiction and those suffering as well as the regular everyday individual. It defines it has uncontrolled chaos, desiring, the need for more, and so on. The mind tricks you into believing that, "once I have 'X-factor' that is when I'll be happy."
Gabor Mate' is absolutely brilliant. Thank you for the video feed and recommendation. I notice this in me when it comes to shopping,,to women, buying, the desire for more, trips, elogance, the entourage life style, and then some. Its even more amazing that, when you acquire, you become easily bored as well. Its never enough. Ch 9 has yet been my favorite. Its been unreal.
"Addictions even resemble normal human yearnings, are more about desire then attainment. In the addicted mode, the emotional charge is in the pursuit and acquisition of the desired object, not in the possession and enjoyment of it. The greates pleasure is in the momentary satisfaction of yearning." pg 107 The realm of the hungry ghosts - ph 4
"Just one more' is the binding factor in the circle of suffering," writes the Buddhist monk and teacher Sakyong Mippham.
JFM - The book is amazing. It deeply touches on addiction and those suffering as well as the regular everyday individual. It defines it has uncontrolled chaos, desiring, the need for more, and so on. The mind tricks you into believing that, "once I have 'X-factor' that is when I'll be happy."
Gabor Mate' is absolutely brilliant. Thank you for the video feed and recommendation. I notice this in me when it comes to shopping,,to women, buying, the desire for more, trips, elogance, the entourage life style, and then some. Its even more amazing that, when you acquire, you become easily bored as well. Its never enough. Ch 9 has yet been my favorite. Its been unreal.
__________________
Jlaix: You are rather cheeky I admit but the self amusing authentic avi makes it impossible to hate!
Tyler:This is ultimately one of the keys to the game -- viewing EVERYTHING AS A JOKE. It's ALL funny.
Tim:`How can I make this fun?
brad:This thread got Ambiguity banned, you can thank me later.
Zack G: Ambiguity is becoming the Howard Roark of RSD!
Alex: "The famous ambiguity!" + "This is what happens when your naturally attractive; cheekyinnit#!
Ambiguity: I don't chase, I replace.
Tyler:This is ultimately one of the keys to the game -- viewing EVERYTHING AS A JOKE. It's ALL funny.
Tim:`How can I make this fun?
brad:This thread got Ambiguity banned, you can thank me later.
Zack G: Ambiguity is becoming the Howard Roark of RSD!
Alex: "The famous ambiguity!" + "This is what happens when your naturally attractive; cheekyinnit#!
Ambiguity: I don't chase, I replace.
REJOOIICCCEEEE.
__________________
WHY ARE YOU NOT READING OUR BLOG????? AUTHENTIC KING BLOG
Lay Reports. Authentic Attraction~. Health & Bodybuilding. Magnetic Sexual Attraction. Unlocking The Core YOU. 100% Field Tested.
WHY ARE YOU NOT READING OUR BLOG????? AUTHENTIC KING BLOG
Lay Reports. Authentic Attraction~. Health & Bodybuilding. Magnetic Sexual Attraction. Unlocking The Core YOU. 100% Field Tested.
Holland
Respected Member
Join Date: 06/24/2008 | Posts: 808
Food was just one example. I'm also addicted to people's validation, especially the post-success high after getting girls. Alcohol was a big one as well, but I've quit it altogether. Porn is another one. Excessive playing of video-games. Excessive analysing (not directed at constructive cognitive projects I'm working on but just random about everything) as a way to distract my attention from my body experience. Ego-enhancement is a fucking huge one aswell (thinking thoughts in which you negatively judge others and positively judge yourself so you can feel good about yourself).
The food thing is easily solved: Just don't buy shit food so you don't have it in the house and can't eat it when you crave it.
I had to start laughing at all these petty tendencies I have, but most people will just don't even look at this type of shit and deny they even have them. I guess their life is challenging enough as it is...
If it ain't interfering with their functioning in society, they just don't bother. "If you get by, it's all fine." seems to be the motto. Living to survive, instead of living to make the best possible experience for yourself.
FREE BOOK ON SELF-CHANGE DROPPING AT JANUARY 1ST, 2012
At my website: www.identityisdynamic.com