THE FORUMS

March 25th, 2017
Jacobs RANDOM journal of events of his pickup
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#61

Jake454

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Join Date: 01/05/2011 | Posts: 1117

FR: i dont give a fuck



so I continued on my rampage of reading trying ot learn how to fucking work websites and baclink and get this and that working and its fun as shit but stressful because I know so little and I feel over whelmed but im just gonna keep hacking away at it till I get a better picture, today im learning how to get Adsense working but I think im failing and trying to creat blog posts for backlinks about carving but im not allowed to post fucing pictures so the articles are crap :( w/e im just doing it to see waht goes down

ON TO THE FIELD REPORT!
 
 boom drunk, second night out for halloween. dressed up get beer head to my buddys house talk the shit with his dad have a beer, get dropped off at my other buddys with G... come in kill it everyone loves me want to talk to me im on some high level conciousness im funny and on point. three girls there all sexy, 8+ the one im not that intrested because i failed before the other my buddys going for and the new one she doesnt know but loves the image shes getting. we all walk to the party self amuse on the way this girl is loving me. get to the party I say fuck her and just go party, come bac later social proof make out its down I see the window shoulda extracted ups tairs or something but I was like nah man im a boss abudance mindset so I dip have more fun come bac my one buddy is hookin up with ehr upstairs banging her all ebcause I didnt hop in that window, she was all horney and he just took the fucking wasy way and rode off my sucuess.. its my fault really for not jumping on it but this coulda been a lay report instead its a makeout report S MY D BITCH...
 
lol but im no vagina, I got laid yesterday and I stoped giving a fuck alredy so I wheel again get another girl makeout shes hot, a solid 8 face and all, 8 8.. tryin to get into bathroom bitches got it locked her ADD kicks in and I become a vagina and stop caring and dont really want to wheel anymore because im but hurt about the first girl. w/e that party ends we dip to my bros place, these dumb bitches tag along I tell them there not coming my buddy wants them though w/e. I broke down at this point and want nothing more than to just yell at girls for being dumb sluts but I let them in one girl throws up so we kick all dem girls out. my bros is filled with older people 24+ I have a good time just joking aorund drinking jagger with G.. overal Okay night 

I need to stop beign a and claiming that I just dont want to wheel when in reality I was but hurt and I was resisting reality and wouldnt just accept it and move on. im still a littled dissapointed but dont care because I got tones of other shit to do and hopfully I start baking my first dollar online. 

some of the conversation was like, she shit tests me "what are you suppose to be" , I ignore party hard hug her, I say " look at you mad cup control, youv done this before havent you!!" because i almost knocked her shit outa her hand, :P basiaclly alot of stuff like that just vibbing, lead louad voice CC<-brad branson style, sexual zone being the gorilla and Jeffy eye fuck/ in her "bubble" or personal space

EDIT: actually the reaso I feel pissed about last night is not only that I blame myself but that I know im so much of a better man than this guy and he doestn deserve it because im the one whos put in all the work for the last few years to be able to do it but at the same time its not fare to judge except I hate that the world is full of incompitent assholes who dont want to work for anything.... its okay though 10 years from now ill be the millionair player and hell be choda cop seeking power from his job and fufilment from the external and ill have made every penny through my own will and action and get every girl through every failed attempt and rejection now!!!
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#62

Jake454

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Join Date: 01/05/2011 | Posts: 1117

 I read until I cant read no more, and I try until Im to stressed to try --- lol thats been my last 10 days trying to learn how to make websites and do SEO and it feels like im making no progress.... its like iv never been so commited to something in my life where I work on it 12 hours a day 5-6 days a week because I dont have school and my work is speradic and yet it feels like im getting no where!!! HOW CAN THIS BE the equation in my head goes (time+effort=product/(lack of effort+lack of time)) and I think im pretty smart but I dont know if im just going in circles with this shit.

two steps blog  thelinkback  cirtantly has helped and im doin the thirty day challange but well see, Im trying to rank for chiansaw carving, totem, totem pole, paul frenette and rant and rave. well this combined with reading atlas shurgged and the million fast lane does atleast make me feel good even though Im not to sure about progress... I guess ill just keep trying era day.

if you feel like it check out RantandRave.ca and give me some advice!
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#63

Jake454

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Join Date: 01/05/2011 | Posts: 1117

 Well, I have some good and some bad news.... good news ranking on page 3 from my main keyword for my website, only in Canada google though :( but its progress!!

bad news is I got my pre surgury meet up on the 25th and real suguery on the 6th, of course this means im going to miss a trip to Mexico and my familys not going eaither because they gotta take care of my ass :( I feel bad, I want them to go but they cant, no one else to take care of me 

anyways im also missing Two Steps release of SEO hybrid for 1$... bummer I know 

well im looking forward to what itll be like to be on mad drugs +have a huge ass insicion in my neck right around my juggular :P + have an excuse to drink at home 

not looking forward to possible paralisis, supposably only really short term(meaning upto but somtimes more than 6 months :S) only in the face area though loool LET ME MAKE OUGHT WARG YOU!!! ;) then face lick bitches, I think once I recover from sugury ima take a vacation bymyself or witha buddy somewhere warm. I feel pretty confident though, Im in good health, eat right, physically active, mentally strong I dont have much to worry about. Not looking forward to being put off my track though of work. 

but its a must do, either leave it and get cancer or get it cut out now and not have cancer. lol a side effect can be that I now sweat where my gland would have been so ill have to put anti persperant on my jaw line :P 

truth be told im scared, I want no negative side effects and a quick recovery but based on what I feel my tumour is under the nerves of my face and the catscan didnt show much so it may make this alot riskier, I dont like leaving my pretty face up to chance or someone else but what choice to do I have ? ;) 

Picture of the tumour down below :) from my cat scan
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#64

Jake454

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Join Date: 01/05/2011 | Posts: 1117

yup 
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#65

Jake454

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Join Date: 01/05/2011 | Posts: 1117

 JACOBS SECRET THEORY OF LYING TO YOURSELF AND PROCASTINATION! 
(Im practicing appealing headlines and titles ;) )



My theory :)

Over the last month or so iv been reading, watching and experiencing many things that are all coming together in a cosmic way. Some of these external resources include: Atlas shrugged, Tyler videos, utopia5's post on lying, The Millionaire Fastlane, CEOarob's FR, The Giant Within, my father and myself.

That being said their is one message reoccurring through all these events; what is this message you say Jacob? 93% of what most people say to them selves is a lie. Utopias post got me thinking about, how if you check the answers you coming up with in your head to reality you realize a lot of the shit(unless youv been working on it for years) doesnt actually make sense. This ties in with limiting beliefs but more importantly not taking responsibility.

The reason I focus on responsibility is because lets say you have to write and essay or write an article for your blog, you tell yourself a lie then you believe the lie and you feel better because your not feeling obliged to do it anymore. In turn your taking the responsibility off your self to get out of pain and into pleasure. Rather than accepting what you are doing in terms of reality and feeling shitty for not doing, you lie and avoid that beautiful paint thats actually trying to help you to succeed. If over time you learn to accept the pain and create reference experiences with procrastination being bad you learn the habit of not being lazy. (or taking responsibility) Although if you teach yourself to deny responsibility like most of the world and how society teaches it to us you create the terrible easy habit of putting shit off, not taking responsibility and avoiding pain.

BUT I ALREADY KNOW THIS JACOB! well then if so, next time you are resisting reality and fighting something that must be done, ask yourself. "Why do I not want to do this", or rather "what is it that is stopping me?" you will find your mind coming up with answers now these answer will probably feel right, "yeah that makes sense because I feel better"(whats going on in your head). BUT! if you check back with reality and boucne your answers of the real world youll realize you gain nothing from procrastination and worse when you try to hide the negative feeling by filling it up with a different voide like video games, facebook, and sometimes reading.(non productive reading)

I find this does TWO THINGS FOR ME:
1. It allows me to make right choices and feel actually good about my decisions
2.it helps me to stop resisting reality and be happier

It them comes down to mastering it like anything else, try, try, try again and slowly improve until you get rid of all the crap. I find this helps you connect withyourself more, with people around you and forces you to adopt a set of values.

also it allows you to truly connect with your emotions and respect the help they try and give even though they dont always get the context of the situation. CEOarobs LR about michelle defended let me feel okay about my emotions again and it reminded me that I dont have to lie to myself when im feeling something, I just need to let it be and just experience it.
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#66

Jake454

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Join Date: 01/05/2011 | Posts: 1117

 alright... well lets just say my throtle of prodoctivity whent from 95% which is pretty boss to 1-2%....... this has only beenf or the last four days or so.

whats the culprit? skyrim... damn my weakness for video games lol. Iv literally spent 60+ hours in four days playing this game. I was currently doing all seo hard work, etc for the last two weeks and reading eatign healthy but then I went into this downward fucking video game spiral where I just didnt want to stop playing. I dont regret these last few days becuase it was fucking fun but I think ill have to stop now because im not even half way done and Im startign not to enjoy myself anymore. My body is even telling me to stay away and do somethign productive. I guess this was called for though and ill have no man back up and adapt to my epic productivness. 

Im on the top of page two for my key word now in Canada. but iv had no girls no reall attempts at girls and no real want to get anygirls simply because iv been blocked out from the world. 

its not a very good feeling and I can sense myself trying to cover it up by filing the downtime with random stuff so I dont feel bad so iv gotten to the point where I cant handle it anymore and I just need to meditate for a few days and get back on track. 

PATH TO PRODOCTIVITY(starting now)
-meditate 20 mins a day
-some form of excerise 3-4 times a week
-read 4+ hours a day if not working
-do somethign for seo everyday
-facebook chat until I get my social atuity back lol
-cut out drinking and make my own food 

I also cant find my wallet and im going to be pissed If i dotn find it soon. well yes i am a loser right now and you should problly laugh in my face at the weakness of my mind right now.
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#67

Jake454

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Join Date: 01/05/2011 | Posts: 1117

FR: SURGURY and partys



My surgury is gonna happen this tuesday morning, itll be at 8:00 in the morning. gotta be at the hospital for 6:00am just really hoping to avoid nerve damage and permanent damage.

anyways on to the field report. After some issues with rides and some pregraming we get to the party. I was having issues with some of the people simply because I dont like them but after some post here on RSD and thinking and Sedona method which im starting. I kinda let it go and sucked in just how far "not letting the external controll you" goes. I say hello to some people, head over to the beer pong table and just kinda chill and accept how im feeling. I dont feel like approahcing yet so I dont, I just kinda feel good standing there and get comftorable with standing out. I feel good, people dont really care about me which is funny because their all thinking if people are looking at them :P I talk to my best buddy glorian he makes me feel good naturally, mandom is talking about women and I get excited. I look over and theirs two girls standing their alone. I was explaining to him about just following what you feel and I felt like talking to these girls and with no hesitation except to say one second I walked over to them so calm and chill and just dominated the set. I really dint have to think I just focus on being relaxed and accepting whatever I felt good or bad. went awsome they wanted me to stay but I dipped to give it some room.

I come back to them a little bit after and take a shot with them, at this point im a little bit tipsy and really am just looking for instant gratification so I sit them down. Joke have fun try for a triple makeout, they dont have it, the one girl i have a great connection with shes like scottish and asain, so cute. Other one is white girl, pretty but thick in the legs etc. but the thicker one is more down so I just go for the makeout with her and shes down. Looking bac on this i shoulda sticked with the girl i liked. but w/e I wanted that validation its my own fault. I just basiaclly party and become happy with the fact that I can go from meet up to attraction to makeout that easily and let my self get drunk before my sugury this week. Smoke a cigar out back, talk to an old sorta girlfreind and just really enjoy talking to her. I got drunk and failed at wheeling later on some girls I know. 

but overall it was just about accepting that im the one in controll and I need to be throwing the punches and that I dontneed to hold onto any one feeling. basically wake up and cherish the day with my best friend and family. 

Also the girl ended up ignoring me because I dipped after we hooked up and didnt pay attention to her. just thought id add that in :P

well that was my story, have  agood night ladys and gents.
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#68

Jake454

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Join Date: 01/05/2011 | Posts: 1117

 Surgeury in 5ish hours, cant help but feel anticipation and a sense of going into the death chamber. lol I feel like im never gonna come back but I know I will.

Music seems so much more beautiful, I seem to love those close to me so much more, I cant help but try and hide my emotions with food, games etc. but I know how im really fealing and I always end up shutting it off 10 mins in or something hating that im wasting time on this shit. I dont want to do anything but sit here and breath or lookat things. Simply because it all seems so beautiful and never to be wasted. 

I view women as this funny thing, they seem un important except as a thing that comes into your life for a time to help multiply your hapiness of whats alredy there or allow you to be happy by getting you to let your ego or gaurd or w/e down/open through sex. It seems futile to "try" and do things to get them attracted. I feel like I can just truley talk my mind and they will come to me eventauly for it and all I must do is lead. I just have to accept what I feel in the moment and try not to fight it or change it and simply let my self enjoy the moment and this will brign them to me. 

All i simply must do is take action and toss my self into the wave of the univurse.. unknown and unpredictable. I will change the history of the world forever through every action so I must always be taking action. I am simply respecting life and my life through taking action and spreading my self into the world like I was meant to. I feel like im forcing thoughts now so ill let it be but want to end this post with something beautiful. I was looking into what makes a ruby so beautiful. I found out that its the compound and impuritys that asorb some lights and let out a red luminessence. Much like what we do in life after learning this stuff. We take in all these sources of information weather it be constant and moment to moment like when your witha  girl or learning from a book. We take these things and transform it into a new thing through the components of our being and it is simply changed acording to the amount of our impuritys. As we change these impuritys our light seems to dim to those that only see one way and actually increase to those with the right sight(green light/developed people) in turn it is more beauitiful and valuable and simply because it is simply and rare it becomes the thing we all want. 

                                                                                                                                                                                            .fin.
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#69

Jake454

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Join Date: 01/05/2011 | Posts: 1117

 sooo much pain.... :( but im alive.... Im gonna be in bed for the next 3 days. fuck last time I was in this much pain was like swine flue but that was for one day.. 6 morphine shots at the hospital, 8 T3's . 4 alredy today about to take another 2 swelling, sweats. sore throat. they had a 5-6 inch dranage tube under my skin that they pulled out of my neck. It was so fucked up and disgusting I almost puked after it happend. My mom had to pretty much leave the room she was so grossed out. all my friends came to see me but my god I just want to be able to open my mouth again to chew. looool I hurt my self trying to eat pita pit <3
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#70

Jake454

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Join Date: 01/05/2011 | Posts: 1117

 I think tomorow I will start working on website stuff again, One lesson I have also sucked out of this experiance is yeah the clocks ticking and you have a short amount of time on this earth. But you also have alot of time, you dont need to lie to yourself and do the most fun things first. Start on the thing that wont get done today but just work at it. take 2 weeks off of life to work at one thing. It may be worth it in the long term. Id say the hardest thing about being 18 is that you often have no ability to thing long term in the moment. Building up those refrence experiances of delaying gradification for long term gradification. Im gonna be making big moves this year coming up. 

-gain enough income to live on my own.(this involves alot of goals and is really important to me on many levels.)
-have at least 3 FB throughout the year(I know small amount but I dont get to the bars untill June :P)
-recconect with my spirituality.(I feel this will be achieved through traveling)

7 grand in the bank, ability to approach and pickup women above average, SEO skills-good enough to get to front page for 1 medium competition keyword, lool I realized in my days of laying in bed that we have this picture in our heads of us trying but are we REALLY putting effort in? Are WE REALLY pushing ourselves? iv lived a blessed life at 18 alredy lol<seems funny to say but if I can be at this level with a fair amount of effort from 3 years. what happens when I put in real effort for ten? Where will I be? ill only be 28 but ill have 10 years which is really more time than iv ever had in my life so far. highschool(4 years) is pretty much been my only development and thats been at snail speed and with a lesser intelligance and conciousness. 
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