THE FORUMS

December 3rd, 2016
Dirty Diary Adventures
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Rhythm_T

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/06/2009 | Posts: 133

 Ok well where to start, After being inspired by Cats' journal and his kind message of encouragement I am stepping up and taking this all to a new level.

Before I had been implementing some RSD principles into my life, got a new job, moved to a cool new house etc  but not really going at things full force, procrastinating against acting towards my goals etc.

A brief history for me is I left school at 16, I am now 23. I've had some shitty jobs but also spent some time as a Drummer in a few Semi -pro bands, which took me all over England.

I smoked weed daily for about 7 and a half years and was usually treading water other than the odd spike of enthusiasm and motivation. I have now stopped other than the occasional few grams

So I recently moved to a town near Oxford for a job, found this cool new house, its basically a mansion but with 18 young professionals renting it, it can be bit of a party house.

Anyway, there is one girl there who is 28 and we got on like a house on fire, she was always flirting with me and I would reject her advances as I'd had some problems with Premature ejaculation previously and didn't then want everyone else in the house to find out when it happens again.
Long story short one day she finally seduces me (although I kind of helped the situation along ;) ) and out of the blue I fuck her like a pornstar for 2 hours - It begins!!

She turns out to be damaged goods after being cheated on after a 6 year relationship about a year before.
Anyway, we fuck regularly and I get better and better, at one point enjoying an 8 hour sex marathon, she totally loved my cock and the way I fuck , I got her a dildo cast from my cock for her birthday and she loved it! - I now have taken this back, which means I own a dildo of my own penis... :S haha!)

We started getting more and more couple-y and I was trying not to get too attached but failed miserably.

We fell out on new years day and she wouldn't forgive me, and after a few days I started to realise just how wrong she is for me anyway, I absolutely hate her 2 main friends who live in the area  (a pair of bitchy, flappy queens, both about my age)  and  realised she didn't really appreciate me for who I am and how much shit I had to put up with from her

. I was just addicted to the ego validation of fucking the "wanted" girl in the house, the sex on tap and someone constantly telling me I have a huge cock and am an amazing fuck - I never thought I would see the day the way things had been going, I've slept with about 7 women previously and I was awfull with all of them. 
foreplay is a strong point of mine which always led them to have high expectations, then I'd last 5 seconds!! pathetic!

Because I had become so comfortable with the situation I was not doing anything to progress myself or meet other people in the area.  All the other guys in the house want her (but can't have her!) so I lost their friendships once I started fucking with her, jealous Chode syndrome.

So when it all ended I realised I was in a new town and very much alone.

I quickly started emailing bands, lining up auditions and looking for things to do, places to go etc

then I read Cats journal and thought, you know what lets step this up.

So my challenge began yesterday, No porn or wanking for a month aswell as going out or doing an activity every night, no matter what.

I also wrote a list of things I'd like to achieve this year (got to 34, includes trackdays, skydives, writing a song etc etc) aswell as daily goals and monthly goals.)

I will post these up later for my own reference.

Sorry for the long blah blah blah, I find myself talking about myself too much, something I will need to work on.

Coming up - night 1 of the challenge...
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#1

Rhythm_T

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/06/2009 | Posts: 133

OK, so I 've finally got a chance to write how the first few days have gone!!

Day 1 - 13/01/2011

I feel really in state at work as the evening draws near, I'm going to get shit done and its gonna be fun, Reading

I get home, have a snack, look online and find an open mic night going on in Oxford so I head down with my Cajon (a wooden box I use in places where I can use a drumkit, I rid a motorcycle so this is my portable drums,) hoping to meet some musicians to play with and hopefully find a cool pub to hang out.

I get there, the place is small and cosy with a generally middle aged clientele.
I ask the barmaid about the open mic and she introduces me to the organiser, he is a very open, friendly guy and I ask how it all works.
A young lad ( in his teens) is sat looking a bit lost on a bench table, the organiser is saying that they don't have a laptop. The kid is a "rapper" and wants some shitty backing track off youtube, he is very clearly a fish out of water here.
So I jump in and say that I can easily back him with my Cajon, does he want Hiphop sort of beats? He talks like an idiot, he was a nice enough kid but talked in cliches and seems to think he lives "8 mile".  okay...
We agree that I will back him up with "some beatz innit" and he starts getting nervous about getting onstage, im feeling pretty chill.

He latches onto me and I can't really shake him off, I try to chat to some guys with guitars but they don't seem very interested to speak to me.
There is an old hippy dude playing bob dylan and beatles covers gently in the corner, I ask him if I can join in and he says yes so I sit in for one or two tracks, just keeping it simple and light.

I thank him and sit down, rapper boy is still holding onto my ankles (figuratively!)

And I sit and watch a few acts, a pretty blond comes in (with her bf) and strikes up conversation, it dies down after a bit but they occasionally turn round to say something.

I have a book with me to write notes about the evening and an irate "poet" (dickhead) guy recites his frankly AWFUL "poetry" on stage, he gets angry that people arnt listening and starts shouting at them to turn around and listen to him! (self righteous prick!) and on a whim and out of the blue I manage to write a pretty decent poem about him!

Me and rapper boy are called up, he is very nervous, I try to reassure him, there is no mic and he didn't have the balls to rap loudly enough that anyone could hear.
He is too shy to do another one after the first track but the crowd is being encouraging and kind and bring him closer to them so they can hear and I play quieter so it doesn't throw him off.
He fucks up part way through and is making excuses to stop but we all encourage him to finish and its goes ok (but still very quiet)

After that people start approaching me, saying they wish they'd known I could play before so they could have had some backing. - I did, but they'd clearly assumed I was shit and I think they'd thought I'd come in with the chav chode, luckily the compere pointed out that we'd only just met when introducing us to the stage.

A guy comes onstage playing punk rock classics (the clash etc) on acoustic guitar, he has good banter with the crowd, he is a regular at the pub and these events and puts on a cool show

After his set he sits near me and I congratulate him on a cool set, he opens up immediately (he was one that kind of ignored me earlier) we hit it off, after chatting for a while we agreed to meet up the sunday coming to rehearse some songs for the next week. Result! New friend! I'm glad I'l be playing with frankly the coolest performer of the night.

I head off home and this being my first time riding into oxford I got completely lost and didn't get home untill 1.30 am , thank fuck for the satnav on my phone! I had to keep pulling over and checking the map as I didn't have any earphones.

A very good start.

Positives -
I got out of my comfort zone and went into Oxford solo for the first time,
I made a friend and made plans for sunday
I'm going to really rock the house at the next open mic on thursday, and people were saying a percussionist has been much in demand so I think I'm going to become kind of a resident drummer :)
Started feeling more comfortable  opening people,
I took a lot of Value from cats journal and kept smiling untill it came naturally, I had left the house really in state which helped.

Improvements -
Later in the evening the place suddenly became a lot busier with a younger crowd coming into the mix, I was wrapped up talking music, life and fucking housemates (he made the same mistake!) with the punkrock guy to open so next Time I'll start chatting to more people, students would be very handy to know in this town!

Get to know the barmaids, I can see myself coming to that pub regularly , one was attractive in an unconventional way (a bit boyish) but I could sense she'd be a great fuck, but its always very handy to be known and liked by the bar staff.

Signing out!
Credit where Credit is due - It was Cats encouraging reply to my post on his journal that really kicked me into action that day. Mate - you're a fucking dude and an inspiration!
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#2

Rhythm_T

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/06/2009 | Posts: 133

Ugh, just lost everything I'd written, fuck, start again!

Friday 14/1/2011


After work I decide to hit my local town rather than going to oxford, it just makes logistics a hell of a lot simpler!

I take a taxi so I can drink (a mistake), I have a good chat with the driver to help keep me warmed up and in state, I'm excited!

As I cross the road towards the bar I can see through the big gates and the courtyard which is the smoking area / place to socialise in this bar, you have to walk through it to get to the bar itself.
I see 2 girls sat there, about 18/19 years old, one of them is pretty hot, petite, slim, purple hair and a sexy look in the eye, her friend is quiet, shy and looks a bit like a sheep (the animal, she has bad blone hair with a pink streak, as if she's been tagged by the farmer!)
I keep strong eye contact with purple as I strut in, I open loudly across the place with something like "WOW, looks like I've picked a good night to come down ere! Is it always this quiet on a friday?"
It hooks and we shoot the shit, its mostly me and purple chatting, sheep sometimes adds something, I realise she isn't going to be a cockblock, she is too shy, purple is in charge out of the two, and I'm starting to think that she needs a good fucking!
I have to thank goggle-hat-pooah for the body rocking thing I've been using for years since I first heard about MM pooah, I stood kind of level with them as if I'm still juust about to walk into the bar, but they're holding me back, I smoothly transistion to sitting down at the table whilst lighting a cigarette,
Purple seems excited. They're telling me about the town,they ask where I'm living, I explain that its a huge country house with a pool shared between loads of people, I joke about me boasting so it doesn't seem like I'm bragging, It works.
(She later tells all her friends who arrive through the evening that I live in a mansion, which gets convo going and spikes interest.)

There are a few blokes hanging round the edges looking at me with a "Wtf is he doing?" expression but still quite clearly thinking "and why the fuck is it working?" You could tell they'd all been stood there waiting to grow a pair of balls so they could talk to the girls, that felt good!

I head into the bar to get a beer, there are just blokes inside and a band setting up, should have chatted to the band but I got my beer and head back outside as there is nowone better to talk to.

After a few mins of more good conversation 3 boys join us, one of them seems very alpha despite being about 18! They're clearly all friends so I befriend them and they actually turn out to be good lads, I win them over and then purple is almost fighting them for my attention, I''m the king of the fucking table!
The place slowly starts to pick up a little, more girls join us, I introduce myself to them, one of them is fairly attractive, bit too skinny, no boobs but nice, she seems to like me, I notice an older, uglier one looks a lot like her in the mouth and eyes, I point this out, it turns out they're sisters, I seem very observant and they like it.
The younger (much more attractive) sister seems keen, conversation hooks. I'm constantly flitting between several conversations on the table, telling funny stories, stories that make me seem cool without trying because I'm not making a big deal of it.
Dropping in about my experiences all over the country with my last band but being so normal and matter of fact about it, someone later points out that I seem to have an anecdote about everything, I explain that I like to to get around, experience life to the fullest. Its true though, anyone can tell me something and I'll have a funny or interesting story I can link to it easily, I'm a good talker! Its hard to shut me up though.

This all goes on for some time, I end up sitting next to the blonde, younger sister, shes telling me about places in town she'd like to show me, I flirt subtly but wish I'd had more intent,but this was more of a contact building exercise than trying to sarge, in retrospect I could have worked on it and got together but I didn't really mind.

The group is divided, half wants to go to the nightclub, half doesn't. This nightclub is infamous in the area for being full of Squaddies (army guys) and slags, it is a known STI breeding ground and was apparantly recognised as the 2nd worst nightclub in the UK! If you don't get an STI then you get beaten up by a big aggressive thug with something to prove.

Blondie wants me to experience it, her sister doesn't want to go at all. I tell blondie that I'll maybe let her pop my cherry. This gets a big laugh.

I end up chatting to another blonde, she was absolutely caked in makeup and fake tan, so much so it made her face look almost furry! Like suede or nubuck or something! not attractive at all but clearly puts out...maybe If I got super drunk... hahaha

I go inside, watch the dancefloor while I wait for a beer, there is a woman in her early 30s who for some reason turns me on, shes goofy, a bit awkward in her body but I dunno, I have a thing for a slightly older woman, my last 3-4 hookups have been 28-30something,
All these while i've been 20-23, they seem to be easier to chat up, they're fucking horny and flattered to be approached by a young pup like me! And much more to be learnt from them in bed!

I chat to two guys who are stood by the bar, one of them goes in to the 3 women (that includes the goofy woman) on the dance floor, he is sort of trying to get involved but has no intent, hes kind of just orbiting around them, not throwing himself among them, its interesting to see it and I remember not to do that! they don't even acknowledge his presence.

I chat to his mate and I mention the blonde is hot, he agrees and tells me to try get her, I don't think he thinks I have it in me, I tell him I'm waiting for her to go out for a cigarette (she had started getting one out and motioning to her friends she was going outside but then the band played a song she liked and she hung around the door singing along dancing with her elbows and fingers! Really goofy! Eventually she goes out and I give the guy a pat on the back and a wink. I follow her out.
I ask her and her friend for a lighter and start chatting, she hooks and I tease her for the way she pronounces a word, she is from bristol and has a west country accent (to any non- english its kind of the cliche'd farmer voice, oo-arr!) I tell her my band once played with the Wurzles (a famous west country band with a hit years ago, all their songs are about drinking cider and farming!)
She gets excited as she "looooves the wurzles" but constantly drops in mentioning her fiance who really likes them too and would love my story.. So I keep chatting for a min and go back to my table of new friends. I should have kept opening new people but found myself a little comfort zone and stuck with it, next time I will continue to socialise and not get stuck in one group, no matter how big and diverse it is.

Eventually they convince me to come to this dreadfull nightclub. I didn't reeaally want to go , but I've found in the past the times when I havn't been keen on going somewhere but have reluctantly have turned out to be good nights, so I come along.

By this point purple has dissapeared which was a shame, my cock would have totally destroyed her as she was pretty small! I like feisty girls too.

We enter the club, its pretty dead, I grab a drink, im starting to get a bit drunk. Suddenly I needed a shit badly, I'd had diaorreah for the last 2 days so I rush to the loos. They dont have seats or toilet paper or locks... fuck, they are dingy, squalid, smelly and the rim is covered in piss. I only have seconds left...

I pull off my trousers and boxers, wipe the rim and shit, its not nice at all, I then have to wipe my arse with my boxers and ditch them there!! A nice surprise for the staff later... the situation was less than ideal but I had no choice. I laughed it off, counting it all as adventure and a story for the future and head back in, having gone commando!

I chode around for a bit, I sometimes head back to some of the group I came with, they've all dissipated and started hooking up with each other, seems to be one of those friendship groups where everyone has been with each other at somepoint. Kids these days! hehe

I watch the dance floor for a bit the dynamic seems very unusual, I cant put my finger on it, I start to realise this club is very strange, something in the air was very desperate, later in the evening I realised the place was just a total meat market, some proper crack-head looking skanks around the place, I see a fight about to break out, the place is living up to its reputation.

I decide just to take it in this night, I'm feeling a little overwhelmed, I've had quite a bit to drink but become introspective.

Dance for a while, I always seem to clear a big space around me on the dance floor!! To be totally honest I'm not sure If its because im reaaally bad and people are embarrased to be near me, or if I'm quite good and it makes people feel bad? Its not dancing you can do with girls, I don't think it really works in this situation, gonna have to work on that methinks. I could do with having it filmed so I can analyse it properly. I keep a huge grin on my face because I normally seem too focused when dancing, I catch a few peoples eyes and they smile but not patronisingly, I think my dancing seems like I'm taking the piss..! Mocking the music maybe.

I leave at about 2.30 get a taxi, I've had a quite a few drinks this evening. I forget that as its after midnight taxi costs double.. £12 quid for a 4-5 minute ride, ouch.

I spent about £50 over the course of the evening, just on beers and taxis, I reprimand myself and realised my game was much better when I was sober.

When I get into my room it hits me again, I need another shit, I lliterally run to the toilet but don't quite make it! I didn;t have any boxers to contain it so I had to wash myself and the trousers in the shower!!! I laughed my ass off, I'm 23 and I've just shat myself! It wasn't my fault so I don't feel ashamed, it was just bad luck!

I then go to bed, Its about 3.30 I'm tired, know I could have achieved a lot more this evening but am happy with myself for getting out, approaching straight away, making some new friends (one or two of the guys took my number, they txt me the next day asking if I was coming out)


Pros - made a few friends who know the town well,
finally went to the infamous shithole nightclub.
Approaching is starting to feel a lot more natural and non daunting
I am the life and soul of the party in bars, but clubs put me off, I've never liked nightclubs, I hate the music (its always fucking RnB and shit, need to find some dance / house clubs) and the people inside, this nightclub is a particularly weird one however, starting to understand the dynamic, i'll reserve it for desperate times!

Improvements - Should have been more sexual and flirty with purple while she was really interested, same too with the blonde sister, she ended up getting with one of the boys, thing is he was a really nice guy , I liked him a lot and didn't want to ruin it for him, she kept coming to me and flirting occasionally, she may have got with him to get my attention but I'm not really bothered, plenty more girls around!


I'm off to a good start considering how withdrawn I'd become from news years day!


Much love,
JT
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#3

Rhythm_T

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/06/2009 | Posts: 133

 15/01/2011

I have a newish housemate, she is 28/29 from spain originally but has been in the UK for about 6 years, 

We get on really well, she moved in a few weeks after getting married then her husband had to go back to the USA days later (before xmas) to look after his mum who he found out is terminally ill, so she has been all alone, isolated in the house, getting very lonely.

We've had several good chats and gone out for a drink or two just before I started my challenge. I even chatted with her husband on the phone, he seems like a really sound guy.

So she wanted me to come with her to a "social" just a meetup wtih some of her friends who all originally met from a website designed to help people in a new area meet up and make friends.

I decided to go along with the intention of going to some other places solo if it turned out to be really shitty.

So I arrive, get introduced to the people, only a few have shown up (5 including me!) One guy thinks of himself as the leader of the group and isn't very popular, another guy who looked totally miserable (my housemate told me he was a bit down) and a girl who lets face it, had zero social skills.

I find myself just chatting to my housemate, we have very animated conversation while the others don't do much,. we move to another bar with a better atmosphere, as our conversation continues I start including the others, asking questions, finding commonalities (I'm able to find something in common with ANYBODY, one of my skills) instantly they seem to come alive and I am clearly leading everything, asking someone a question when they aren't getting involved and sort of intertwining diffferent topics.

I go to the bar, the barmaid is pretty hot so I chat with her for a sec, no real intent, I'm just out to be out and get to know the town better.

It wasn't really eventful, just a reminder that when I'm on form (as I have been since day 1 of starting this thing).

My housemate seems very impressed, she picks up on how much happier and out of my shell I've become since last time we went for a drink, when I was explaining the whole house situation (and the fuck buddy situation!) and she was down about her husband.

I can tell the friends really like me, but at the end of the day they get lots of value from me and I don't really take anything, these people remind me how lucky I am to have social skills and a very good grasp of conversational skills and public speaking, leading the conversation so it doesn't go stale, involving people who are too scared to join in.

I head home when my housemate leaves as I'm feeling very tired from the night before and work and wasn't sure of the way home (But have got the Satnav on my phone working, an absolute godsend!!) and the chodes (I dont really want to call them that, they are nice people - just socially inept) walk me back to my motorcycle.

Get home, put on some washing and have an early night.

Positives - A few more people in the world think I'm awesome, my housemate thinks I'm awesome, I know I'm awesome.

I'm starting to get my head around the layout of more parts of oxford

I didn't get lost on the way home!

Improvements - 

I didn't really have any intention of sarging or chatting to randoms, only if some of the friends were hot which they were not. I did everything right this evening, it was just good practise and nice to be out the house.

I'm getting more used to not drinking when in a bar / pub.
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#4

Rhythm_T

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/06/2009 | Posts: 133

I deleted the FB from facebook yesterday on 15/11/2011 , I was just tired of seeing her face each time I logged in, also in the past she once got jealous when  I was chatting to 3 pigs in a bar (I wasn't chatting them up, they were hideous) and she intentionally blew me out, coming over, calling me darling and kissing me on the cheek!
- I figured I'm going to have a lot of new people on my facebook and didn't want to take the risk of her getting in touch with anyone to spite me, I'm sure she wouldn't but you can't be too carefull.

I'd forgotten to mention but a few nights ago she had her 2 friends round that I hate and got drunk with them, she came into my room, drunk but not that drunk, I have seen her much much worse, to "clear the air".  I sat an listened as she explained she doesn't really know what happened but wants us to still be friends and its just she promised herself 2011 would be a good year and it got off to a bad start blah blah blah and that I am "bad for her" I wasn't sure what she meant exactly and said so and she just repeated herself, I think she was getting at the fact that she is looking for "Mr.Right" and that isn't me, but that she did have feelings for me etc

I just sit and listen nonchalantly, not reacting, she then asks for a hug and holds her arms out (I'm sat in bed topless, she is sat on the bed too, I had been about to go to sleep when she came in) I didn't lean in and just stayed where I was so she leant in towards me, I gave her a hug and she said "Ooh I've missed your hugs so much" (I'm amazing at it, I wrap them up firmly, they feel very secure and protected in my arms, I'm not a big guy, just a good hugger, I don't put my all into it, I'm just being cool and calm on this occasion)

Then her dickhead friend arrives, I can hear him coming, I tell her its time to leave, I havn't had a chance to get a word in, I just sat and listened.

He has walked in on us many times when fucking (intentionally) so he could see my cock because she's told all her friends about its size, this time he has clearly come to get her because he thinks we're going to fuck. 

He bursts into my room and she snaps straight back into being annoying fag hag , super hyperactive mode and I'm glad to see her leave and go to sleep.

At 1.30 my phone rings, Its her, I ignore it, she txts me "come over", I ignore it, she then phones me again, I answer and tell her I'm trying to sleep and to stop calling me and hang up. She then keeps txting me messages like "I want you to come see me, I'm naked, I want you to touch me, come over etc) which I ignore, she calls again a few times, I eventually answer and tell her to give it a rest and that I am not coming over.

The next morning at work she txts me a "?" I reply saying "What?" she then calls and asks why I txt... She clearly wanted to get a conversation going. I'm quite short with her and say I've got work to do and say bye and hang up.

Later she txts me and I reply "Did you want to finish off the conversation from last night?" meaning the clearing the air, She claims she doesn't remember and said she is worried she had done something mean. I tell her to forget it, at this point I think fuck it, I don't even need to "clear the air" , I've heard her side of the story, I'm not interested, I'm tired of her drunkenness, her cunts of friends and all her bullshit. This was when I deleted her from facebook before heading home.

20 minutes later I get a call "yo-yo-yo...! Did you delete me from facebook?" 
Yup
"Why?"
I just did
"I just thought it seemed a bit...weird"
Just cutting off loose ends
"What...? fine...FINE.. I don't care... Really, I don't care at all, FINE" in a maniacal way
I say bye and hang up.

I breathe a sigh of relief and realise just how totally over her I am, she annoys the fuck out of me. I chuckle to myself, thinking about her little moustache!

I feel more weight being lifted from my shoulders and don't feel any need to speak to her whatsoever and she gets uglier by the day.


I will try get round to catching up with the reports at somepoint, they are 2 days behind at the moment, I'm going for an audition for a band tonight but will try get things up to date.

I know none of this is of interest to anyone, I'm doing this for my benefit so tough shit ;)

Things will be getting more exciting for anyone who is reading!

JT
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#5

tony77

Junior Member

Join Date: 09/20/2006 | Posts: 21

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#6

tony77

Junior Member

Join Date: 09/20/2006 | Posts: 21

Hey Dude

LOve the post! I live near Oxford too and getting into more natural ways of talking to women. Feel free to Pm me!



Tony
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#7

Rhythm_T

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/06/2009 | Posts: 133

 Oh for fucks sake, I try to backspace once and I lost everything I wrote! I hate this thing, need to start writing in word and then copy it across!

Right, start again!! (GRRR)

16/1/2011

I go to Marks house (the guy I met at the open mic on thurs) we Jam for a few hours, shoot the shit and get a setlist together for thursday (tonight, but I'm very behind on my journals!)

We then go to a pub, have a beer and keep chatting, we get along really well, I know I have found a good friend in town which is great.

I then head to the Folk night at the pub I met Mark at , carrying my Cajon in the hope I may be able to join in.

I walk in and its pretty empty so I sit down and feel like a chode, need to get talking!!

A guy sits down nearby and I ask if he is here for the folk night, we get chatting and a girl walks in,
She is stood at the bar and has her back to me.

A minute later she turns around and says “Excuse me, did I hear you say you were here for the Folk night?” I say yes and ask her to sit with us.
She is GORGEOUS, cool black hair, petite, slim and has a really nice soft voice and accent (Manchester)
I’m a sucker for a northern accent on a girl as long as it is soft and feminine and not masculine and gravelly like they can be!

She is wearing a kind of tweed jumpsuit / dungaree thing with a ruffle collar with a bowtie, it sounds stupid but she looked great, kinda like a sexy librarian / teacher from a manga or something.
We start chatting, I find out she is studying maths at oxford uni (yawn) and doesn’t know anyone else down here that is into folk, its her first time here and she is clearly quite shy.
I find some commonalities, something I’m very good at and we have good conversation for a while, I drop in that I was in a semi-pro band that although wasn’t strictly folk, our contacts meant we mostly toured around the folk scene and had done some festivals.
I find out she plays fiddle, Mark and I had been saying earlier that we need a fiddle player or something to play the melodies as I hit my box and he strums his guitar.
I tell her she should come down on Thursday to see us play and see if she’d be interested in joining us, but it seems she is ONLY into folk music (bit narrow minded eh?) I doubt she will show but we will see.

I go out for a cigarette and chat to a couple of guys who then join the table, I flit between the 2 conversations and do my best to include the girl and introduce her to the people I meet, showing that I am a social guy with good leadership.

After about an hour she finally mentions a boyfriend back in Manchester (Grr, although I’m sure his dick can’t reach this far!)
I don’t really mind too much because had she said it in a “This guy is too keen, need to get rid of him” way then it would have come much much sooner.
We continue chatting until I go to the bar for beer and and she goes to the toilet.

At the bar I over hear a girl (bit of a tomboy but seems cool) telling someone she is learning to play the spoons!
I butt in with “Oh wow you can play the spoons??Thats cool!” She turns to me and says she can’t play yet but is learning and pulls out two desert spoons from her pocket! We chat for a minute or two then girl 1 walks past , back from the toilet, I introduce them and they start chatting and my attention returns to the bar,I don’t want to seem like a hover-chode.
Once I have my drink I hear themswapping names, I join in with “Oh yeh! We never exchanged names! I’m Jon...” I find out her name is Molly and the spoongirl is Katie.
They seem to be really hitting it off and I’m glad I was able to find her a friend in town who shares her taste in music, I start chatting to other people, usually opening with “Hey, are you here to play?”

The way the music thing works is there are a load of musicians in one corner playing together and anyone with an instrument who knows what to do can sit with them and join in, the group gets bigger and bigger until there are about 10 people sat around the table playing pipes, fiddles, concertinas, accordions etc

I chat to two girls who ask If I’m a musician , I say “Not really – I’m a drummer!” which gets a “awww, drummers are musicians too” so I reply with “Try telling that to a guitarist ;) !”

They tell me I should join in, but there is a fat woman playing a Bodhran (Irish drum) and not very well, there is only really room for one percussionist.
I go out for another cigarette and overhear molly and kate exchanging numbers , Molly says “I’m so glad I’ve met someone my age in Oxford who is into folk!” And I feel even more pleased I introduced them (but wheres my credit..? hehe)
As I come back in the lady playing percussion is getting up and I see my chance
“Are you taking a break> Can I fill in for you with my Cajon?”

She told me she is going home and to feel free.

So I sit down, the other musicians are still playing except for one so I ask them if Its ok if I join in, they say yeah (and not much else) and I suddenly wonder how this all works. I don’t know the songs, and I’m sure they probably want them played a certain way, I’m used to taking a lot of the attention with my playing but realise I’m just there to keep the beat, so I keep it very simple. Its quite scary at first because none of the other musicians really acknowledge me but I keep with it.

Eventually I start finding my groove and still keeping it simple but getting slightly more ambitious.

Long story short I spent about 2-3 hours sat there playing along with this pretty unfamiliar music.
I have just joined a folk band so It was great research and practise for me.

There are some people that have come in, 2 of the guys obviously on coke and a drunken woman who is being pretty annoying and sits next to me (in the musicians circle- shock horror!) some of the snobby musicians give snotty looks
The guys are friendly enough and ask if we can do wild rover, I say I don;t know it and they say its the one fromthe clover (butter) adverts.
I tell them to ask the other musos as I have no influence here!
Later on they ask someone and they tell them they need someone to sing it as it is a song , not just a piece of music.

They find a guy who had already sung a few songs solo that night, he is very good but is a total postcard picture of what you’d expect a stereotype of an Oxford person to look like!

They start the song, the band joins in, As its the only piece I know I am able to get into it a lot more and do some impressive drumming and the whole pub is singing along with the chorus.

It was a great atmosphere .

Some musicians then left to go home so there were just 4 of us left and it felt more intimate, like we were a band, in it together.
Eventually the drunk woman disgraces herself by shouting over and laughing at a woman who does a song solo, they get kicked out, the guys hang around and try to join in with us on the piano and guitar but they don’t have a fucking clue and just put us off, we share looks and roll eyes – YES! I’m in the inner sanctum! It felt good and it was still amusing.

Eventually the barmaid comes over and says because it is late and they have a grumpy neighbour who always complains that I’ll have to stop playing the cajon, but that she and the whole pub loved it and thought it was great and they’d love for me to come back next week.

When the percussionist woman had left earlier I’d heard her tell some of the other musicians that she was going to be away for the next month, so looks like I’ll have a slot for the next few weeks!

I thank the remaining musicians for letting me sit in and they light up and thank me and say bye (all the other musos had just said bye and left, the thanks put me in their good books it seems!)

And I pack up because its nearly 1am and I have to ride my motorbike home and have work the next day.

As I’m leaving all the barmaids (some of whom clearly recognised me from the open mic) shouted out to me and said bye, see you soon with huge smiles on their faces. One of them is a bit tomboyish but I find her quite attractive and she was really beaming at me.

I get home without getting lost this time (I have set up the satnav on my phone and listen to the directions through headphones, it is an absolute GODSEND!)

Get home, shower, eat some cheese and go to bed.

Positives – Got chatting to people straight away
Had a great Jam with Mark and have definitely got a new mate there.
Was able to introduce two people who are clearly going to be friends so someone who has been a bit lonely now has someone with something in common to talk to and meet with, she will be back next Sunday for sure. – hopefully on Thursday too but that is less likely
Pushed myself out of my comfort zone and join in with what was frankly, a very daunting situation.
Impressed many people with my cajon


Improvements –
I would show more intent etc, and try more “pickup” but I’m at the making friends stage at the moment, I don’t want to jeopardise that with people who may yet become friends.
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#8

Rhythm_T

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/06/2009 | Posts: 133

 Monday 17/1/2011

I go to audition for a band in Bicester, I am running in a bit late and tear it down at 110mph for most the way , in the dark and the rain with cymbals, sticks, bass drum pedal and a snare drum strapped onto the bike!

I get there, meet the band, they all seem cool, espeically the bassist, Basissts are rare, good ones almost non-existant, and this guy is really good, 

We play a cover and I nail it (a song I've known for years) and they all seem really impressed, especially the bassist)

We run through some of their material,I get it pretty much straight away, I'm on good form tonight and long story short I get offered the job on the spot.

At the end the bassist comes to me seperately and says how good I was and how great it is he has a decent drummer because he relies on a good drummer to lock in with, which is exactly how I feel about a bassist and he fits the bill.

The vocalist is a singer but no frontwoman, she is too nervous, shy and very plain looking, she has no stage presence and doesn't seem like a proper muso, her songwriting is good so I feel she'd be better suited to writing behind the scenes, she txts me every day to confirm I can still make the next practise etc which is very needy and getting incredibly annoying already.

I head home, grab something to eat and go to bed.

Positives - -

Met some cool guys, I can see me and the bassist being good mates.

Nailed the audition which is good for my drumming confidence

Improvements - None, maybe ride my bike more safely next time!
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#9

Rhythm_T

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/06/2009 | Posts: 133

 Tuesday 18/11/2010

Meet Mark at a different pub that we found out earlier in the day also does an open mic, so we can play onstage together for the first time since meeting.

I get there a bit before him, chat to barmaid , just small talk, she isn't hot, just lubricating my social skills!

I sit in a far corner reading a magazine about local music events and take a copy so I can find some more stuff to do.

Mark arrives and we get a beer and chat, we speak to the promotor who signs us up and asks if its ok if we go first, we say its fine.

I pop outside for a cigarette and there is a girl smoking on the stairs, shes a little bit fat, she'd be ok if slimmer, she isn't repulsive but I'd need to be slightly drunk to share my godlike phallus and newly found tantric skills with her.

I say hi and just act cool, drop in that I'm playing tonight, find some commonalities , joke a bit, ask her if she is with friends (now my ulterior motive becomes clearer!)
She clearly likes me and stays outside talking to me after finishing her cigarette. and blah blah blah, anyway. Go back in, Chat again with the promoter and mark, laugh and joke around.

We also chat to a guy with a guitar who is playing that night, he is quite classically good looking but keeps talking down his guitar playing and singing abilities.
A little bit later I head out again and chubby comes out with a friend who is a bit more attractive (only because she is slimmer to be honest) MArk comes out with me this time and we're both chatting away with them, bit of a banter, making them laugh etc.
They seem to like us, chubby clearly fancies a piece of Rhythm_T!

We go back in and get up onstage and start playing, By this point chubby from outside is sat with friends and dn't take their eyes off me, I don't even look at them but I could feel their stares on me!
We rock the house for 4 songs to great applause and get off the stage, the girls whoop and compliment us.

The next few acts are a bit rubbish and / or boring and it seems we've set quite a high precedent, despite being only our second time playing together and first time onstage together

Chubbys' mates get up, one uglier one with a guitar and the slightly prettier one and they totally suck, they've never been onstage before and you can totally tell, nervous, under-rehearsed and unable to keep in time.
The more attractive one can't remember her lyrics and keeps making excuses, apologising and trying to get off the stage but we continue to encourage them.

Everyone wants to chat with Mark and I, complimenting our set, asking about my cajon and complimenting me on the way I play it, or saying that they've never seen one before and were really impressed.


The promoter comes and chats with us for a while, she absolutely loved the set and asked if we could go back on again later, we agree and she mentions that as a singer/ guitarist she has a lot of gigs booked around Oxford and knows plenty of people who run venues etc, she says when we feel ready she'd happily get us some proper gigs around Oxford (rather than just open mics)
She also said that there are many more open mics in the area which we had been unaware of, so if we're ever at a loose end we may as well pop along to one.

We sit and chat and watch some other acts and occasionally the girls would come over and chat to us, we were just being cool, I could feel that we were the "cool" guys in there, knowing people were listening to our jokes, seeing us enjoying ourselves and singing along with some of the other musicians.

I'd occasionally pop out for a cigarette, usually followed by chubby and sometimes her friend, her friend asked me to back her on my cajon when she sung another song, I got up there, she got stage fright again, forgot all the lyrics, fucked up so I said I'd just leave her too it as perhaps my playing was putting her off (but in reality she was just shit)

She then gave up and tried another song (summertime, one I actually knew this time) and it went ok and I drummed along, she then got the lyrics for the original song off her mobile and is stood there singing , reading the words from a mobile phone and getting faster and faster and faster!! (Amateurs ey!? ) Glad I got off stage after summertime!

We get up and do another set and are greeted by cheers and whoops, we smash out another 4 songs but mark breaks a string but we just keep going regardless as the professionals that we are ;)

We mingle for the eve, Mark points out that I have a fan club at the front of the stage (chubby and co)

Anyway, later we get asked to come up AGAIN because whenever we are not on stage the atmosphere starts to die and we are clearly the most entertaining act there. So we go up again and the promoter semi-reluctantly lends us her guitar (she wanted us to get up and play but was scared of Mr punk rock mark abusing her treasured guitar and breaking her strings! Rock n roll!)

We keep playing until the end and we can’t think of any more songs, a big group of guys that had been there all evening start to leave and most of them come up to us and start kissing our arseholes, telling us how great we were, for once I am able to take a compliment (I spend my whole life striving for compliments and when I get them I don’t usually know how to take them or how to react).

We eventually get ready to leave and as the girls are leaving they hang around, I put out my hand to shake and chubby insists on a hug, I know I could easily take her to a back alley if I wanted but I wasn’t feeling it, I had to ride my motorbike home so I couldn’t get drunk ;)

They wanted to know if we’ll be back next week , I could tell they really wanted us to be.

I chat with Mark and the promoter outside, she practically begs us to come back next week and reminds us that when we want to we should get in touch with her and she’ll get us some gigs booked around the city.

I go home, shower, have a snack and wrote up a journal entry .

I am still 3 days behind!! I will endeavour to catch up now as I’ve been left at work on my own with nothing else to do!


Positives – We played great all night, we were only supposed to do 4 songs but ended up doing 14!

We were most popular act of the night

We met someone who can introduce us to the right people and get us out there more

I can see I have made a good friend in Mark

I am reminded just how easy it is to chat to women, its soo much easier when you’re not attracted to them because you just don’t care of the outcome, I really need to try keep that frame of mind when talking to girls I do really fancy and not be outcome dependant.

Improvements – errm, Go somewhere with hotter girls?
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#10

Rhythm_T

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/06/2009 | Posts: 133

 Weds 19/11/2011

Its my day off to a chance to get all the shit done that I’ve been neglecting whilst doing my 30 day challenge.

I get my washing and shopping done, get my meat from the butchers (Its much better meat, no more expensive than the supermarkets and they have a wider choice of cheaper cuts, which just need to be cooked for longer but taste SO much better, I’m really into my cooking and girls seem to love that)

I tidy my room, buy some scented candles and cook a few meals and pop them in tupperwares to make sure I can eat properly through the week without losing precious going out time.
I buy some condoms and a vibrating cock ring (I got one before and the FB LOVED it), the assistants face was great, she was trying to just act normal but you could see the thoughts running through her head.

Scented candles..beep, smokers whitening toothpaste..beep..condoms...beep..vibrating cockring............................................................BEEP.

I chuckle to myself on the way out of the shop :)

After doing my cooking I have a beer and go to my room and write a journal entry here on RSD, I then fall asleep clothed on my bed and snooze for a couple of hours.

I wake up and don’t really fancy doing too much tonight so I invite my sister over for dinner. However I do still need to get out the house so its an ideal solution, nice and chilled, no pressure to socialise with other people.

She comes over and we eat, shoot the shit and head out to one of my favourite pubs in the town.

We chat over a beer and I tell her all about what I’ve been getting up to, she gives me good advice as she knows I am prone to extreme highs and low lows and I can talk to her openly about pretty much anything, she is older than me(29), it is kind of weird when I talk to her about dating women as the last few have all been around her age, it must be strange for her knowing her little bro goes around fucking girls her age, she probably can’t imagine why they’d want to fuck me as she has known me since day 1 !! But it means she is good for advice.

She drives me home and heads off and I get an earlyish night.
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