THE FORUMS
Not necessary really..ever. If someone tries to tool you or make fun of you just don't react. It's not worth your time..I probably won't even respond. If he gets too annoying I'll probably knock him out..otherwise I just avoid those situations by being SOCIAL and if they do come up I don't have room in my reality for it.
It's not anything that matters at all. Verbal sparring and tooling doesn't work on you if you don't give a shit about what people think. Talk is cheap, continue doing what you set out to
do which is pulling while all the other people run their mouth. Learn to laugh at yourself and others. It's funny if you think about it.
HOWEVER..blatant disrespect should not be tolerated. In cases like these you step up and look people straight in the eyes...the catch is you must be ready and willing to take it there.
do which is pulling while all the other people run their mouth. Learn to laugh at yourself and others. It's funny if you think about it.
HOWEVER..blatant disrespect should not be tolerated. In cases like these you step up and look people straight in the eyes...the catch is you must be ready and willing to take it there.
__________________
"The undelying message is always the same. I'm a man, you're a woman. You turn me on, I want to fuck you. The specific expression of the message is the only thing that changes according to the circumstances. When dealing with a woman, you dress up your delivery but never your intentions." - ComeAgain
Just before anyone else puts up any posts on this i'd just like to thank you guys for your opinions, but i guess the objective of the post is to answer the specific questions above. Thanks
You cant learn this from a post or online article. Understanding the subtleties and undertones of conversation takes years and years of social experience.
This is bullshit. Look I am sure that at least at one point in your life, you tooled some people in your life too. Mb because other people were less confident, or you were more confident. Because this is all that will make you good at verbal sparring, being confident.. When I feel good, and some guy comes in at tries to tool me, the best replies are always those that come straight out of my mouth without hesitation or thought.
The point is, you can do this already, but to be able to do this all the time you just need to get more confident, more yourself, without the unstifling. And this can take years.
And when you get more confident, you feel you dont need to react to everything anymore, cuz you are confident..
The point is, you can do this already, but to be able to do this all the time you just need to get more confident, more yourself, without the unstifling. And this can take years.
And when you get more confident, you feel you dont need to react to everything anymore, cuz you are confident..
You cant learn this from a post or online article. Understanding the subtleties and undertones of conversation takes years and years of social experience.
__________________
Funny thing is. This DO go on in real life, ALL THE TIME, and being great at verbal sparring is GREAT in your social life. Joking around with friends about the alpha/beta dynamic, tooling guys IF NECCESARY in field, girls do get wet when they see a guy who is good at this, Ive seen it again and again and again.
But ofcourse, on here, not alot of ppl have the skill to do it, so they just rationalize "dont care about that shit man..... just be unreactive man.."
Guess what? I double dare you EVERY instructor is good at this, he might not need to use it often, but they are GREAT at it. Damnit, even Tyler coined the term "amog".
Cant you just realize that this shit is far from only "feeling good and being confident". Confidence is often a RESULT of a SKILL, maybe a social skill or whatever.
But ofcourse, on here, not alot of ppl have the skill to do it, so they just rationalize "dont care about that shit man..... just be unreactive man.."
Guess what? I double dare you EVERY instructor is good at this, he might not need to use it often, but they are GREAT at it. Damnit, even Tyler coined the term "amog".
Cant you just realize that this shit is far from only "feeling good and being confident". Confidence is often a RESULT of a SKILL, maybe a social skill or whatever.
Turn around.
Move.
Open new set.
Rinse & Repeat.
Move.
Open new set.
Rinse & Repeat.
__________________
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Approach Anxiety | Sex Tips | HB Chart | Penis Health | Flakes | BF Rejection
Turn around.
Move.
Open new set.
Rinse & Repeat.
Move.
Open new set.
Rinse & Repeat.
Yes Im sure that whats jeffy does when someone try to fool him. And even IF HE DO he KNOW he have the skill to fool the guys out.
No one who is real alpha ignores it everytime when someone tries to fool them, thats beta. Having great social skill is an alpha thing to have.
This place aint about self improvement no more, this place is about making yourself as much as a pussy you can, listening to self-help, tolle, trying to act like a drunk fratboy and "not giving a fuck" combined with bad social calibration, great.
Although I agree with NebuR that the good guys have this in their arsenal, I also agree with everyone else that it isn't necessary. The true alphas don't go around loking for tooling or to tool someone because it is beneath them. They let the petty little guys dook it out and eventually one of them will step up to the alpha at which point he blindly laughs in their face and blows them the fuck up. It is a skill to have, but it is only one gained by being in many social situations. You will lose many times, then slowly learn. One main thing I have noticed is that the guy who loses the verbal sparing is always the one who goes from having fun with it to just trying to insult and put down the other guy first. Look at it like a game and as though it is fun, laugh and enjoy doind it and you will never lose.
1. Verbal sparing is almost more of a pinging to see where you fit in the pecking order. Ex: Guy sees an open seet next to a hot chick at the bar and takes it to talk to her. While talking another guy comes up and taps him on the shoulder (tap tap) Guy2:"Hey......" Guy1: (turns and looks at guy2) "Hey" (turns back to the girl dismissing guy2). Guy2: "Uh... I was sitting there" Guy1: (doesn't turn around) Guy 2: "Hey dude I was sitting there" Guy 1: (looks around confused as there is nothing to indicate this (no drink no coat etc.) "Huh?!?!?" Guy 2: "Yeah I was sitting there before I went to the bathroom" Guy 1: "Oh... Cool" (turns and starts talking to hot chick again). Guy2: (goes and fucks off). That might be a little more confrontational than some, but rather than even discussing the problem guy 1 just dissmisses guy2 two in such a way that he has clearly displayed guy2 isn't worth his time.
2. Tooling people is a way to show/climb your social status. It's kinda a power play just like shit tests from girls. This is why if you are at the top of the chain you don't bother unless forced in to it.
3. The best way to tool for me is playing aloof a little and just not really giving the tooler (I never start these) the time of day. I'm not here to talk to him (I will say this to his face too). Also it is helpful to have a sharp tongue and quick whit. When you walk away from situations thinking "I should have said this..." You need to quit blocking your mouth and let that shit spew if someone is begging for it. The main way to learn this is through many social interactions and building confidence. Seriously as your confidence goes up you become nearly un-toolable. All about strongest reality.
4. I don't really know how to answer this. It's fucking obvious. However I don't think this hapens as often as people see it on here, so it's really not that big of a deal. I doubt you miss it when it hapens.
5. Bring value to the circle rather than taking it. If you come in to a group and immediatly start hitting on the hottest girls all of the guys are gonna take a stab at you. If you bring several cute skanks in the guys will be greatful for the easy pussy and other than one or two seriously in love orbiters they will not have a problem with you. If an orbiter tries to tool you just laugh at him and comment "Isn't he just precious LOL" or " Wow!... is he always this rude to new aquantences?" As long as you convince the girls that they are being weird the guy will evaporate.
6. Maybe... again this jockeying for possition is only done by lower ranking males. Be above it in your mind and everyone else will notice too.
7. I don't get what you are asking here... But I think what you are getting at is voice tone. One could say "Oh cool dude!" So you genuinly seem excited about what they are talking about, or you can say "Oh cool dude..." and shoot a face or glance that shows you are almost mocking them for thinking it's cool. That would be tooling however it's just some ass trying to show that he is better than the other guy... battling amongst the peeons.
Hope this helps some. The real thing about tooling is to get your confidence and strength of reality up and then you really don't have to worry about this. In fact every minute you worry about tooling is a wasted minute. Until you are there mentally you won't be winning these sparing matches, and once you are you won't have to try to win.... It'll just sort of happen.
1. Verbal sparing is almost more of a pinging to see where you fit in the pecking order. Ex: Guy sees an open seet next to a hot chick at the bar and takes it to talk to her. While talking another guy comes up and taps him on the shoulder (tap tap) Guy2:"Hey......" Guy1: (turns and looks at guy2) "Hey" (turns back to the girl dismissing guy2). Guy2: "Uh... I was sitting there" Guy1: (doesn't turn around) Guy 2: "Hey dude I was sitting there" Guy 1: (looks around confused as there is nothing to indicate this (no drink no coat etc.) "Huh?!?!?" Guy 2: "Yeah I was sitting there before I went to the bathroom" Guy 1: "Oh... Cool" (turns and starts talking to hot chick again). Guy2: (goes and fucks off). That might be a little more confrontational than some, but rather than even discussing the problem guy 1 just dissmisses guy2 two in such a way that he has clearly displayed guy2 isn't worth his time.
2. Tooling people is a way to show/climb your social status. It's kinda a power play just like shit tests from girls. This is why if you are at the top of the chain you don't bother unless forced in to it.
3. The best way to tool for me is playing aloof a little and just not really giving the tooler (I never start these) the time of day. I'm not here to talk to him (I will say this to his face too). Also it is helpful to have a sharp tongue and quick whit. When you walk away from situations thinking "I should have said this..." You need to quit blocking your mouth and let that shit spew if someone is begging for it. The main way to learn this is through many social interactions and building confidence. Seriously as your confidence goes up you become nearly un-toolable. All about strongest reality.
4. I don't really know how to answer this. It's fucking obvious. However I don't think this hapens as often as people see it on here, so it's really not that big of a deal. I doubt you miss it when it hapens.
5. Bring value to the circle rather than taking it. If you come in to a group and immediatly start hitting on the hottest girls all of the guys are gonna take a stab at you. If you bring several cute skanks in the guys will be greatful for the easy pussy and other than one or two seriously in love orbiters they will not have a problem with you. If an orbiter tries to tool you just laugh at him and comment "Isn't he just precious LOL" or " Wow!... is he always this rude to new aquantences?" As long as you convince the girls that they are being weird the guy will evaporate.
6. Maybe... again this jockeying for possition is only done by lower ranking males. Be above it in your mind and everyone else will notice too.
7. I don't get what you are asking here... But I think what you are getting at is voice tone. One could say "Oh cool dude!" So you genuinly seem excited about what they are talking about, or you can say "Oh cool dude..." and shoot a face or glance that shows you are almost mocking them for thinking it's cool. That would be tooling however it's just some ass trying to show that he is better than the other guy... battling amongst the peeons.
Hope this helps some. The real thing about tooling is to get your confidence and strength of reality up and then you really don't have to worry about this. In fact every minute you worry about tooling is a wasted minute. Until you are there mentally you won't be winning these sparing matches, and once you are you won't have to try to win.... It'll just sort of happen.
OP text in bold
Verbal sparring and people tooling around other people. How is this done and what are the signs of it happening. Lots of us have no idea about this stuff but we have a sense that it goes on around us from time to time, we just can't put our finger on it 100%.
so i have some questions.
1. What is verbal sparring - maybe an eg. of discreet/indirect verbal sparring
For me, I had a BIG misinterpretation about alpha male, tooling around and verbal sparring. I think a better way of looking at it is male bonding and having fun. If you are a beta male when a less beta male makes fun of you or makes a joke on your behalf the interpretation is that it is a personal attack and that you are lesser than them or have to get back at them somehow. That's how I viewed it since I didn't have a male role model from 13-17. When I got more male role models in my life like more friends, step brothers, older male cousin moving in from out of state, I realized that's just the way a lot of guys have fun. If you fail at this type of communication and it shows to bruise your ego you're just showing that you're not really that cool of a guy or maybe you take things too personally.
Here's some examplses of the kind of "tooling" me and my wings do to eachother when we are out fucking around...these are the best I can think of but they're really just funny, noone takes it personal.
"Hey man, so that's the shirt you chose to wear out huh? No, no, its cool, I mean, no big deal, props for having confidence for wearing a shirt like that"
"Good job man, *ahem*, it takes a lot of confidence to act so weird in front of a girl like that..."
"Cmon man, quit trying to pump your own state off me, its not that cool."
2. What is the base of tooling people around.
The base...is being social, social pinging, just seeing if you're somebody that takes life to seriously. If you overreact its a sign that you don't go out that much or are not that social. Or maybe even that you're just not warmed up or in state yet. There is not like some sort of Secret Organization of People Tooling Others Around (if there was the acronym would be SOPTOA)
3. How do you do these so u know when someone is doing it 2 you.
Social calibration and reference points, i.e. go out and approach and don't look for it too hard. Just go out and have fun. It sounds like you're looking to get perfect social calibration before going in field. This all sounds like you're kind of a perfectionist which is one of Ozzie's key points of fear that inhibit people from having good game. Check out my section on him in my World Summit 2010 review where he talks about how to overcome this (the link is in my signature at the bottom of the post). That's probably your real issue is getting over the feeling that you need to go in field and be ready so the interaction is A) perfect or B) you don't make a mistake
4. How do u know wen someone's doing it to you.
Go out and approach, get your experience, make mistakes and then think about it afterwards. Unless you have a mental disorder (no insult intended if you do) then you will naturally notice things when you go in field and adjust for the most part accordingly. As long as you're willing to look at yourself and use RSD mindset when going out you will calibrate and improve. Take things lightly.
5. When you enter a social circle, how do u not get tooled
No reaction, don't take it personal. If you're in the frame of defending being tooled you will be tool'd. If you put it in a frame that its a way to have fun and joke around and look at any "insult" sarcastically then its not a big deal.
At the same time, if the person really is trying to tool you and you have little or no reaction it just makes them look try hard, or like an idiot, or hyper. Tyler talks about this in blueprint or foundations or something.
The key is to BE PRESENT and quick enough to realize its just male-male joking communication or joking around soon enough to treat it as such.
6. In a social circle will people tool you or spar to see what u'll do. Recognise it or not.
If you are taking on a new personality people will tend to test you more on it to see if you're congruent. If you're incongruent you will react, if you're congruent you probably pick one of these options: No reaction, treating it like a joke, not realize they're trying to tool you, realize its not that big of a deal.
7. what's the language people use as in, words and sentences have double meanings.
Where are you coming up with these questions? If you want a good answer you need a good question and you'll need to be more specific. If you think there is language that people use with double meanings, where did you come up with this? People need a better reference point to know how to answer your questions. BTW, questions work out better with question marks at the end of sentences...
Verbal sparring and people tooling around other people. How is this done and what are the signs of it happening. Lots of us have no idea about this stuff but we have a sense that it goes on around us from time to time, we just can't put our finger on it 100%.
so i have some questions.
1. What is verbal sparring - maybe an eg. of discreet/indirect verbal sparring
For me, I had a BIG misinterpretation about alpha male, tooling around and verbal sparring. I think a better way of looking at it is male bonding and having fun. If you are a beta male when a less beta male makes fun of you or makes a joke on your behalf the interpretation is that it is a personal attack and that you are lesser than them or have to get back at them somehow. That's how I viewed it since I didn't have a male role model from 13-17. When I got more male role models in my life like more friends, step brothers, older male cousin moving in from out of state, I realized that's just the way a lot of guys have fun. If you fail at this type of communication and it shows to bruise your ego you're just showing that you're not really that cool of a guy or maybe you take things too personally.
Here's some examplses of the kind of "tooling" me and my wings do to eachother when we are out fucking around...these are the best I can think of but they're really just funny, noone takes it personal.
"Hey man, so that's the shirt you chose to wear out huh? No, no, its cool, I mean, no big deal, props for having confidence for wearing a shirt like that"
"Good job man, *ahem*, it takes a lot of confidence to act so weird in front of a girl like that..."
"Cmon man, quit trying to pump your own state off me, its not that cool."
2. What is the base of tooling people around.
The base...is being social, social pinging, just seeing if you're somebody that takes life to seriously. If you overreact its a sign that you don't go out that much or are not that social. Or maybe even that you're just not warmed up or in state yet. There is not like some sort of Secret Organization of People Tooling Others Around (if there was the acronym would be SOPTOA)
3. How do you do these so u know when someone is doing it 2 you.
Social calibration and reference points, i.e. go out and approach and don't look for it too hard. Just go out and have fun. It sounds like you're looking to get perfect social calibration before going in field. This all sounds like you're kind of a perfectionist which is one of Ozzie's key points of fear that inhibit people from having good game. Check out my section on him in my World Summit 2010 review where he talks about how to overcome this (the link is in my signature at the bottom of the post). That's probably your real issue is getting over the feeling that you need to go in field and be ready so the interaction is A) perfect or B) you don't make a mistake
4. How do u know wen someone's doing it to you.
Go out and approach, get your experience, make mistakes and then think about it afterwards. Unless you have a mental disorder (no insult intended if you do) then you will naturally notice things when you go in field and adjust for the most part accordingly. As long as you're willing to look at yourself and use RSD mindset when going out you will calibrate and improve. Take things lightly.
5. When you enter a social circle, how do u not get tooled
No reaction, don't take it personal. If you're in the frame of defending being tooled you will be tool'd. If you put it in a frame that its a way to have fun and joke around and look at any "insult" sarcastically then its not a big deal.
At the same time, if the person really is trying to tool you and you have little or no reaction it just makes them look try hard, or like an idiot, or hyper. Tyler talks about this in blueprint or foundations or something.
The key is to BE PRESENT and quick enough to realize its just male-male joking communication or joking around soon enough to treat it as such.
6. In a social circle will people tool you or spar to see what u'll do. Recognise it or not.
If you are taking on a new personality people will tend to test you more on it to see if you're congruent. If you're incongruent you will react, if you're congruent you probably pick one of these options: No reaction, treating it like a joke, not realize they're trying to tool you, realize its not that big of a deal.
7. what's the language people use as in, words and sentences have double meanings.
Where are you coming up with these questions? If you want a good answer you need a good question and you'll need to be more specific. If you think there is language that people use with double meanings, where did you come up with this? People need a better reference point to know how to answer your questions. BTW, questions work out better with question marks at the end of sentences...
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axel
Member
Join Date: 04/04/2010 | Posts: 29
Verbal sparring and people tooling around other people. How is this done and what are the signs of it happening. Lots of us have no idea about this stuff but we have a sense that it goes on around us from time to time, we just can't put our finger on it 100%.
so i have some questions.
1. What is verbal sparring - maybe an eg. of discreet/indirect verbal sparring
2. What is the base of tooling people around.
3. How do you do these so u know when someone is doing it 2 you.
4. How do u know wen someone's doing it to you.
5. When you enter a social circle, how do u not get tooled
6. In a social circle will people tool you or spar to see what u'll do. Recognise it or not.
7. what's the language people use as in, words and sentences have double meanings.
Guys it'd be great if these questions can be answered maybe even with examples cause i know there are alot of us struggling to see what's right infront of us. I'm sure this would help alot of people immensely in their lives, maybe even change them completely. Many people don't know the ways of the world and WE need to have clarity in order to be strong, confident and productive. There's no point in working on ur self to high confidence then being cut down 2 shreds when u finally get out in the real world.
Cheers,