THE FORUMS

December 3rd, 2016
Zappa's Progress Journal
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Zappa

Zappa

Respected Member

Join Date: 04/14/2008 | Posts: 593

soak in the glory



anyway, i'm back. back to the field, at least. otherwise i've never really been absent. enjoyed a one-and-a-half-year relationship. but it wasn't for me, yet. i couldn't stop thinking about the field and how much fun i had. so here i am. i think i'm a different man now. i didn't do any pickup stuff, but i worked a lot on myself. i really got into brazilian jiu-jitsu, training about three to four times a week (my body doesn't let me do more, yet). i'm fucking addicted, but i love it. started eating heathy for real (kinda follow the primal blueprint, mostly). got into stephen covey's stuff, to work on figuring out what i really want in life (helped me massively). and generally worked on being a more positive and value giving guy. made tons of mistakes in my relationship but also learned out of almost every failure i think. didn't proactively do much social stuff though. this is my major sticking point in life. i feel kinda solid, aka i don't care too much what other's think and i also know how to talk to people/carry myself in social settings, but i just have a hard time making friends and connecting with people in general.

yeah, so this journal is about reflecting on my journey towards being able to bang hot chicks consistently and becoming a social, value giving MAN. in here i'm gonna try to spit the very TRUTH about what went down in the field. if i exaggerate it's probably due to the fact that i write all my shit as soon as i'm home, still being in a fun or maybe even yuck state. i may reflect more objectively from time to time.

enjoy (i definitely will)

zappa

:)
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#1
Zappa

Zappa

Respected Member

Join Date: 04/14/2008 | Posts: 593

Thursday, 06.01.2011

Planned to go out alone (scary) but later a buddy calls to join in. We decide to eat something first and approach the club at 2340. Bouncer won't let us in, come back when you have girls with you, he says. I try to argue with him, but I'm weak. Two girls and a guy are standing at the corner and offer us to go with them. But still the bouncer says it's too much guys. Thing is, I don't have a plan b.
We try to find another place but it's all empty, thursday night, walking around till 1 or so. Then we meet four girls infront of a bar (where the fucking bouncers wouldn't let us in again, WTF). Girls are from Bavaria and want to go to the cookies. Perfect opportunity, eh? But I feel so chode it's unbelievable. Instead of taking charge of the situation I'm hesitant and let my buddy talk. He's also a bit hesitant in the way that he doesn't make the point clear that we're going to the Cookies together with the girls. Well it turns out it's ok cause the chicks are already kinda drunk and indifferent to the weirdness...at least mostly.
So we end up walking with them to the cookies. Buddy talks to a girl and I start out kind of walking alone, the other three girls behind me. One girl (the hottest one) who's walking behind me makes a comment about me to the others like “why is this guy still here”. I just ignore this but it kinda pisses me off. Not so much that I care what an 18 year old girl thinks of me, but more because she was kind of on spot with her comment in the sense that the whole situation was a bit weird because I was acting as such a chode (instead of flirting, aka shooting the shit with the girls and not giving a shit). Yeah, so I was a bit pissed at myself. However, we kept walking and I ended up talking to one girl (the least attractive). She was cool. Then she told me three of them were under 18. Oh man. I already knew it's pretty unlikely to get in to that club.
Infront of the club the girls are hesitant, they see it's not easy to get in. My friend doesn't really wanna stay any longer, cause after asking a guy who came out of the club, it turned out that it is “very very” empty inside. We decide to bounce, it's already 1:45. As I sit in the train on my way back home I think to get out to this other small club for one second. But I out. I rationalize some bullshit and now I  am at home with my dick in my hand.

+++went out, and was also willing to go out alone
+had a mini adventure with the girls
+learned where I'm at right now internally...not very far

-no plan b
-could have gone into the ** or how the name was or in the ******** even though there were only a few people. would have been better then nothing. it's about taking action.
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#2
Zappa

Zappa

Respected Member

Join Date: 04/14/2008 | Posts: 593

Friday, 07.01.2011

First off a little daygame. This time I just wanted to see where I'm at concerning my ability to do SOMETHING. So I head to the mall (solo of course). I chode around for about 90 minutes (20 minutes of which I talked to my uncle on the phone, he called me). Then I decide to really do at least this one approach. It takes me about 20 minutes to finally do it. I go direct on a little cute chick. She looks at me like she doesn't speak my language. I ask her if she speaks german. Wow, it becomes very weird after that and I even turn a bit red. Haha. But I'm glad I did it. First solo daygame approach in almost one and a half years. Good. Relatively relieved I head home.

Try to take a nap. I can't because my landlord fucks his girlfriend loud and also I think about my ex and about my pu future and shit. What stresses me out quite a bit is that I'm absolutely broke at the moment. Need to get a job. If I don't have a job I can't pay club entry n' shit. Whatever, after my failed nap I eat and prepare mentally to go out. I'm pretty tense because as it seems by now I have to go solo. But later L calls me telling me he's joining in. I'm a bit relieved even though I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand I'm not so AFRAID anymore because I'll not be alone in the club, on the other hand when I go with other dudes I tend to chode a bit, aka clinge on them (which I therefore consciously avoided tonight).

Meet at about 0000 and head inside at 0015. What can I say, I didn't take right action and choded pretty much the entire night. L did five approaches or something. I don't get the vibe of the club one bit. Back in the day I could at least get myself on the dancefloor and rock it there to build at least a litte bit of state. But this time almost everything was outside of my comfort-zone. So I chode and L and I are close to the bar. To try amuse myself by taking some of the strokes from the bar to form a jesus hat. L thinks it's totally not funny. I find it a bit funny that he thinks it's soooo not funny. I tap a girl next to me at the bar and ask her how she likes my jesus wrath (which I put on by now). She laughs and we exchange a few sentences. I feel some emotions in me coming up, a sip of state. But that's it, I don't follow up. It was a good chance to be social, but I just can't build ANY vibe with chicks I'm not interested in sexually. I have a hard time to be social. But then, being somewhat social becomes easier when I'm a bit in state, aka when I approached some chicks already. THEN I can even have some fun with the lesser attractive ones. Hmmm....
Anyway, the club is packed with some really fine hoes man. Lots of 8s and even some solid 9s. Awesome, but I don't do anything.

I'm not gonna be negative about it. I mean I didn't go out regularly in one and a half years and was in my social comfort-zone pretty much all the time. So I can't expect myself to explode now all of a sudden. I have to build momentum. I also notice that I get tired early, at about 0100. That's something that my body also has to adjust to over time.

All in all I'm happy that I went out but it's a little sad that I didn't do anything. Most of the time I mentally excused my behavior by thinking I have so few state that all the girls will blow me out anyway, especially because it's a dancefloor club, pretty much no areas to talk (you gotta approach on the dancefloor and pull the chicks to quieter areas if you wanna talk). But the thing is, I know that I don't really need state. With a little self-control and SMILING one can go very far. STATE IS A FUCKING EXCUSE.

At one point I stay at the bar like a fucking weird and watch the dancefloor. One of the girls (a body-9) is dancing so dirty and sexy that I feel ashamed of myself for not approaching. Some sort of fury builds and I thought I almost was ready to finally approach, but something held me back still. Yeah, the fury thing. Back in the day the fury was what made me approach a lot of the times. But the fury has a shit timing on my ass. It comes right before the drunk dude approach frenzy time kicks in, which is much to late. If I could somehow trigger the fury earlier that would be so awesome.

+went out
+started reconnecting with the fury
+deep down I really don't give a fuck anymore. I can't even be bothered to be negative. get laid or die trying is what I'm thinking!

-choded the entire night
-used the “state”-excuse, which is fucking bullshit
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#3
Zappa

Zappa

Respected Member

Join Date: 04/14/2008 | Posts: 593

08.01.2011

Meet up with L and Jeef-B to go to “The Tube”. We're in and a few minutes later B also kicks in. I planned on approaching straight away when going inside. I kind of did. I asked two girls if it was always that empty here (it was empty). They say no, it's gonna be packed later. Cool. A thing I learned a while back is that being tense by putting too much expectations on yourself is VERY counterproductive. You usually end up value scanning hardcore and get in your head big time....choding. So I kind of remember that and focus on creating some fun in our own group. I am a bit nervous it seems. I kind of move around a lot. Not really planted. But that's gonna easily auto-correct with time when I'm out regularly. No worries. I tell some stories to the guys and joke around. Still nervous, but it's all good, I think to myself. Start value scanning a bit but catch myself each time. Focus on my group again and engage with little stories to pump my own and their state a bit.
Go to the toilet and then approach two chicks. I don't even remember what I said. Some bullshit like hello or whatever. They are nice. I just keep talking. We talk about hip hop a bit (it's a hip hop party) and I share my view on the awesomeness of The Roots album Dilla Joints. We share names and I move on. It was a nice convo but I was still a bit nervous. I didn't go in with any intent. The one girl had a fine body and a good face. A good 7.56 I'd say. When I don't go in with intent right off the bat (being physical and choosing my girl), it becomes very unlikely that I will turn it around. But it's ok. It was a warm-up.
Talk to the guys again. Share another story or two. It's awesome to have someone to talk to. I'm already a bit afraid of going out alone. But I think as long as I don't put the bar too high I don't really have to worry. I'll make progress.
I approach another two chicks. Two dumb wannabe ghetto girls or something. The one girl was cute looks wise but a straight from the start. The other one was ugly and a from the start. They tried to get rid of me but I just hung in there trying to turn it around. I didn't really give a shit so I just keep talking. They're very bitchy but I know that they just don't have any self-esteem so it definitely is not my fault. I keep talking but I'm too uncalibrated to turn it around. But whatever, didn't care. They leave. This was a very good experience that reminded me of the fact that I don't really need to worry about random peoples opinion of me.
In between I go talk to the guys, we shoot the shit (cool guys), go to the dancefloor, make some remarks about chicks that pass by (I know it's lame, but it kept me outside of my head) and try to not value scan too much.
There is this chick on a sofa sitting all by herself, looking bored or something. I go in and talk to her to cheer her up. It was just platonic banter, but the good thing is I'm in a relatively good social mood by now. I start talking coherently, haha. Anyway the chick is pretty young, 18. She's cute. A fine body but a weird haircut. So I talk to her for five minutes and I notice that I maybe talk too much. Funny thing is, as long as I approach a chick with this platonic style talkative dude shit I don't even expect her to be attracted to me, I also don't even look for it therefore. But I think why not lead her around, maybe to the outside area. Leading is a cool attraction builder. So I get a bit scary feelings inside but I think to myself that I'm gonna do this pickup shit seriously now, so why not practice to lead a bit (gotta do it very often in the future). I stand up, take her hand and say lets go outside, all the while slightly pulling her. She resists. I persist, a bit, then loose it. She doesn't wanna come. It's alright with me, I sit down again but I'm not interested in the platonic conversation anymore. I chill back to see if she re-engages me, but she's not having it. I stand up and talk to L.
Have some more talk with the dudes and get very hungry and tired all of a sudden. 30 minutes later I bounce.

It was a good night. I did more than I expected. It's all good.

+approached despite of scary feelings in my gut
+had fun
+tried to lead one girl physically, poorly but hey it was a try
+remembered to not value scan but create own fun within myself and my mates
+build some momentum for the next week
+didn't get tired as quickly as the two nights before

-could have done more approaches, plus could have approached the hotter chicks (there were lots of 9s and even one or two 10s)
-could have approached on the dancefloor and create some chaos and fun there (gotta really work on that again, cause it's an AWESOME skill to have, lots of attraction when you just pull them in and dominate)

Forgot one semi-approach of the friend of a chick that Niels approached. She was a bit interested in me, but she was only a 6.5. Could have pushed it with her more but I was a :)

All in all I learned one very important thing: Let the night build, let yourself build. The point where you wake up from your nap right before leaving the house, to the point where you try to pull a chick, you are gonna be in lots of different emotional and mental states. Fear and tension creeps up if you are in a lower state and future project into a higher state. Just try to go with the flow and take opportinities when they show up.

Cheers!

---------------
Next morning reflection:

Another positive thing was that I didn't drink ANY alcohol. Plus I didn't buy any other drinks in the club. Payed entry + wardrobe and that's it. 11€ in total. Not that I'm against alcohol or buying a drink, it's just unnecessary. You can really have fun without it. Plus, buying a drink just to “fit in” is fucking gay. Gonna get a job for some extra money. Then I'll be able to buy a drink if I WANT :)

The night brought to light a few very critical points about game. Not just from doing things myself but also from observing the guys I was out with doing their thing. I don't judge them here at all, I just give my impression to learn from it. Also, I can't judge – they all took more action then me yesterday and even got some numbers I think.
So, what I saw was them approaching and talking. They didn't go in with the awareness of having a cock to fuck with, so to speak. I see this and the girls are there talking to them and being friendly and also a bit charmed. But if they'd go in with intent and started being physically dominant right off the bat, they'd gotten massive attracion from most of these girls. It would have made their job much easier. Also, I didn't see any leading girls to other places of the club or even to the dancefloor. So there is no way that these girls will see them as a potential fuck or more then the guy who tries to sneak into their pants. All the guys did about 10 approaches each, but they all went down with just very few commitment. So in conclusion, I would go as far as saying that it's better to do one approach where you go in hard and at least TRY to lead them around is much better then 10 approaches where you play to not lose. Quality over quantity in that sense. Once again, I'm not judging my friends here. I just make an observation. I've seen this stuff far too often, done it far too often myself (still doing it obviously). I just realize what I have to do to be effectively learning this stuff AND have the chance for great results. But once again – no future projections when your current state and your projected actions state is too wide apart. I always need to build it up patiently. No need to put pressure on myself. When I'm going to the club and worry whether I'll do my hardcore intent approaches it'll fuck me up. I have to just go in, maybe talk to some folks in the line, do some warmup sets, and THEN start mustering up the courage to do the harder stuff. And THEN when I'm in I can think about leading them around. And so on.... In the past I was beating myself up big time for not doing the right things and always playing it safe. But that's bullshit. Once I'm in a good state, I can do all this “riskier” stuff without much thinking. But to get to that state I have to free myself from pressure. I just have to naturally bulid momentum. Doesn't matter how long it takes.

Back to the 18 year-old girl yesterday. When I started to pull her up to lead her outside the conversation was already stalling a bit. I should have spiked her emotions and THEN lead her outside. There was no way she was coming with me the way I tried it. There were some peak moments in our convo. I could have just tried it at those times. Just a little reminder.

When I was on the dancefloor with Jeef I looked around at all those hotties and I said to him how happy I am that I'm single again. At the same time I felt a little bit sad about that statement, because it sounded as if the relationship was crap. But it wasn't. I was with a great girl and we had lots of fun, I learned tons of stuff FOR LIFE. So it's kinda strange: I feel very happy to be single again (we just broke up one week ago) but then I feel sad because I feel happy. WTF? The humand mind is a very strange organ man...
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#4
Zappa

Zappa

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Join Date: 04/14/2008 | Posts: 593

tuesday, 11.02.2011

yeah, good times. in the afternoon i go running for an hour (just base endurance) and work out after that, trink a lil protein shake and decide to hit the streets just for the fun of it and because i have time (have a back injury so no bjj for me). i decide to just do one approach and if i did it i can leave with no hard feelings. my take on approaching during the day (aka daygame has changed quite a bit. back in the day when i started out i was all hard on myself about it, taking daygame sooo seriously. nowadays i think fuck it. daygame is fuckin random as it gets. you never know what state the person you are approaching is in. in clubs it's also kinda random, but people are there to have fun, so it's much more solid to approach in those settings. anyway, the reason i do daygame nowadays is not because i think it's the way to "learn game", but rather because it's a vehicle to train your mental muscles to push yourself. it's kind of a little workout. a) it helps me to keep some momentum from the weekends and b) it trains my ability to just do the first approach even though i'm not in state at all, which is especially VERY helpful when i'm out in the clubs. having that said, of course when i approach during the day i try to plow after the approach.

so anyway, i head out and my knee kinda hurts, don't really know why, maybe a lil injury from bjj (fucking heel-hooks). so i kinda hobble towards the mall. my body feels good because of the workout (keep em endorphines coming), so i feel good. yeah. lame but i let two or three approachable chicks pass. right before i enter the mall i see a cute chick entering too. i think lets do this! tap her shoulder and talk some bullshit about how armor shot his arrow through my heart when i saw her. creepy shit, but said with a charmin smile. she laughs but isn't quite sure about me. my eyecontact is kinda whack, gotta bring em laser eyes back on track. anything else, body language, voice tonality is solid (this shit it soooo awesomely fixed since bootcamp, it's full unconscious competence by now). i lean on some pillar and try to keep my cool (still one of my few very first approaches after a long time, bit nervous still). i went in without any plan whatsoever about what to say, no routines bullshit. but there's no real vibe between us. she is eager to leave, but i think to myself to push it further, i almost said bye bye but that's shit. so i ask her if she wants to have a drink with me. lame, but it just slipped out. of course she says no. i just talk over this, no biggie, ask for her name, shake hands. all the while trying to hold my fucking eyecontact. i don't remember what i said, but she really wants to leave now so i just give her my phone and tell her to put her number in. she's hesitant but i manage to stay firm (finally some leading and dominance). she gives me her number. i give her a big hug and she leaves. nothing solid, but i did my approach and plowed. of course there's much room for improvement. i have to create a better vibe and generally be much more decisive before i ask chicks to have a coffee with me. also asking chicks if full bullshit i know. but that shit slips out of my mouth sometimes. anyway, i'm happy i did the approach. tomorrow i'll do another one and then thursday, friday, saturday it's club time of love baby!!!

if i had money i would go out tonight, but i'm so broke, it sucks ass.

EDIT: by the way, she was a 7.3. not that it matters much, but over the course of the journal i want to see myself going for the hotter chicks. so it's just when i look back at my old entries that i see "oh, i used to have problems being confident with 7s" or whatever to see my progression in confidence and not giving a shit how hot the chick is. so from now on i will try to rate my chicks just for the heck of it. awesome!
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#5
Zappa

Zappa

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Join Date: 04/14/2008 | Posts: 593

wednesday, 12.01.2011

today I didn't feel it. read on the forums too much and was a lazy bum all day. went out to do my one “workout”-approach. i let quite some opportunities pass without acting. actually the first girl I see in the mall is a full honey but I just make up some excuses. let more opportunities pass and get inside my head quite a bit. finally I do it. see chick, follow her a few meters, tap on the shoulder, “you're cute, blablabla”. she's not into it, I don't blame her, whatever. she keeps walking, I stay planted, works for 10 seconds but then off she goes. after the approach, no matter the result, I pretty much always feel much better. I decide to do one or two more approaches, but I don't see many approachable chicks for a while, lose momentum, then see a hottie but I make up excuses. whatever, I head home. that's why daygame sucks, if you don't have the good feeling or some social momentum going it's gonna be hard. it's a waste of time then. but whatever, tomorrow is club time. that's what i'm really looking forward to, anyway.

another thought. didn't go out and approached regularly in such a long time, I really have to deal with a lot of the old problems from back in the day when I first started out. mainly, putting too much mental value on this thing, letting too much of my thoughts circle around pickup instead of living my life. I have good things going on. need to focus on maintaining the day-to-day fun aside messing with hoes. balance baby!
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#6
timmilicious

timmilicious

Senior Member

Join Date: 07/12/2009 | Posts: 271

Soo cool to have you back in da game Zappa!!
Gonna follow this now. Keep it up, rock shit! ;)
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#7
Zappa

Zappa

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Join Date: 04/14/2008 | Posts: 593

12.01.2011

kind of chode all day on the internet. I wanna FUCK and not sit here like a clown. so I sit, it gets late, like 23 something. I think, DAMN, what the fuck am I doing here. can't sit in the house any longer. I wanna push through this pu shit. I want to hit the point where I don't care what people think anymore, indifference threshold! I wanna go out and collect reference experiences that it doesn't fucking matter what people think. no, I don't want to do this weird stuff like screaming in the club or in the streets. I just want to go the club, talk to ALL people and then hit on the hottest chicks. I want to get blown out and collect these references that it doesn't matter and I want to go for the PULL. LEAD LEAD PULL. don't care if I get it, but I care about feeling like a MAN. so I sit there and think all that and then I think fuck it, I HAVE to go. I leave my place and head to the club, it's fucking wednesday, I have no money for train tickets to go to the better clubs for this day of the week (let alone to pay the fees). I choose a club nearby. hit it up, it's EMPTY. three dudes inside. IT SUCKS. ask the staff if it's gonna get full soon. they're like, don't know, maybe at 1 o'clock, maybe not. FUCK! I go home, nowhere else to go to. streets are fucking empty. tomorrow!

yeah, so i'm kinda pissed really. maybe i'm too impatient again. I don't know what's up with me. I live here for over two and a half years now. I came to berlin to learn pu in the first place. I mean I accomplished something, am more confident, had a cute girlfriend and shit. but I was holding back way too much in terms of pu. I had no real lay which I totally can take credit for only of myself. I got kinda lucky three times, that's it. WEAK. I was playing it safe, making excuses all the time. instead of pushing through that stuff I dabbled a lot. I let my fucking fears get the best of me. do I really have to be ready to DIE before I muster up the “courage” to MAN THE FUCK UP? what I mean by this is, WHEN will I be able to just go out alone and not let the fear and the fucking excuses get to me and take the pain like a man? I mean what can happen? a boyfriend punshing me? a group of guys attacking me? I don't care, i'll be fine. so what is it? this fucking fear. I know, I know it's bullshit to fight it. it's there and it's ok. but I just can't let this stupid emotion hold me back anymore. feel the fear and do it anyway. I know I have fucking great potential, i'm a smart dude and I have the fire inside and i'm AM in fact ready to die for my life. I want to bang hot chicks, these fucking lovely sexy creatures. I want to have FUN man. FUN FUN FUN. fuck boyfriends with guns. it's MY LIFE and I am not a man when I am not ready to DIE for it. I'M READY TO DIE FOR IT!

maybe i'm too negative and really too impatient. I know it all takes time. I'm fine with that. but I want to be on my path. I wanna go out AND approach and push it and have fun. I will do it man. I will get this shit handled. top level, doesn't matter how long it takes me to get there.

so what I need to get this done (which I don't quite have at the moment):
a) a job (preferably a daytime job), to have the extra income for fees to the best venues of the city, plus some extra money for taxis so that I can PULL.
b) the guts. I have to be able to approach a lot. even if i'm not in state and get blown out left and right.

that's it. everything else I have: a top city to learn this plus lots of time and independence. so everything is almost perfect. cool.
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#8
Zappa

Zappa

Respected Member

Join Date: 04/14/2008 | Posts: 593

13.01.2011

today i wake up – everything is just FINE. fucking emotional up and down scarcity bullshit. all these issues, not being able to push myself, caring what other's think, having trouble going out alone, ALL THAT is gonna AUTOCORRECT as long as I go out. and I WILL go out no matter what, at least three nights a week, alone or with friends. no question. so why sweat the process? just chill.

----------------

anyway, to the night. meet up with L, we go to club i've never been before. awesome club, awesome chicks. really 8-9 out of 10 club. i'm really kinda proud of myself because I pretty much start approaching right away (like 3 minutes into the club). it's just social approaching though. openers? man I used to think about what to say so much in the past. it's all bullshit. just go in and say SOMETHING, anything. I just say hi, what's up, or how's it goin', that kind of thing. works and is simple (gotta always remind myself). so anyway, I approach maybe eight or nine groups. I am particuarly proud of opening a five “set”, three cute chicks and tow guys. I was always so afraid of opening groups with guys in it. but it's nothing, really. nothing bad happens, ever. the set didn't go anywhere, the chicks were kinda freaked out a bit (it was my second approach and I was just not having the vibe yet) and they started to just ignoring me. social pressure deluxe. but i'm proud I did it.
also I open a chick and her boyfriend. just social times, but in the past I would have freaked out just thinking about opening a couple. she goes off somewhere and I shoot the shit with the boyfriend (pretty cool dude), just vibing, ask him if it's his girlfriend, he says yes, I give him props (hot chick), made new friend. cool.
also, good “trick” to get the social ball rolling, buy a beer and start touching glasses with random people. it's like shaking hands, they can't refuse it, and you can have a short chat and build/keep some momentum that way. did that to quite a few people tonight. cool thing (btw, got that from pilgrimage2012, saw him doing it and thought it's a cool way to be social, thanks man :)).
yeah, so I got in a social mood, but I must admit I was a bit chode tonight. had two solid approach invitations (especially one chick, eye-coded and smiled at me all night, solid 8), but I didn't do anything. just took the validation and didn't man up, but whatever it's stupid but it's too late to be dwelling on that shit. later, right before I wanted to leave I tried to find her, to finally do it and approach, but of course I didn't find her. määhhh. fuck it.
wow, i'm sure I did some more approaches, but right now I can't even remember (memory access state dependent?). especially I can't remember what I talked about with all the people, which is a good thing, because it JUST DOESN'T MATTER what you talk about. in that sense: good reference experiences.
I talked to two chicks, one chick I liked, she was a 7.7 cute chick. started touching and clawing her (touched and clawed most girls tonight) and somehow checked logistics without realising it right away. thing with her was she had to get up at six in the morning and her friend would sleep at her place. so no go. i'm out for same night lays. didn't go for the number which I could have, but I didn't really care. maybe if she'd been hotter. whatever.
by the way. I didn't approach the 9s tonight which I really have to work on. I mean i'm in this game for these chicks. why don't I approach them?
I became tired and out of state after an hour or so and kinda let the environment overwhelm me. couldn't push myself more at that point (but still had some interactions with previously opened girls) and about an hour later we left. a bit lame I know, but I was really tired. but this will autocorrect with time in the field. my social capacity is shit at the moment.

all in all i'm really surprised with myself. being social is/has been a real big sticking point for me. that sucks because it's the absolute foundation of learning this stuff. so I put good work in the right direction tonight. I will keep doing that. what I haven't done tonight though was putting good effort into getting laid. still pretty afraid of doing the harder approaches (hotter girls, very physical and direct from the start). afraid of rejection I guess. but I will dig away at this stuff. i'm just starting out. the good times will come.

another note to myself. the longer I stay in set, the more I feel the social pressure creeping up my gut. I think I have to do something, all the time, aka entertain the girls. but in those sets that I hooked, when I went silent, the chicks re-initiated the conversation plenty of times, asking questions and shit. good reference experience. just chill, girls can like you just for you.

+went out to very good club with lots of hot girls
+approached people within a few minutes into the club even though I didn't feel like it at all
+++social times (big sticking point in the past)
++approached mixed sets (also big sticking point)

-didn't push the envelope in terms of actually getting late
-pussied out on my approach invitations, just took the validation like a girl and didn't do anything (I am sad)
-pussied out on the real hot girls, still afraid of getting rejected by those

all in all im really satisfied with tonight. it was a step into the right direction.
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#9
Zappa

Zappa

Respected Member

Join Date: 04/14/2008 | Posts: 593

@timmilicious
thanks man, expect great things to happen :)
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#10
Zappa

Zappa

Respected Member

Join Date: 04/14/2008 | Posts: 593

friday, 14.01.2011

Meet up with Leo1337 and Jeef-B. After a lil drink we head to club early, like 23:45. Inside I immediately approach two girls sitting on a bench. It's just warmup/social times, they're both not hot and a little blown away that a cool guy approaches them, they get uncomfortable. I just chat for a second and move on. Don't even remember to how many people I talked to tonight. Definitely A LOT. Social times deluxe. I just move on from another group, when I see her. Full hot chick, 8.5 on high heels. I don't think, I just go in, grab her, you're cute, bla bla, go for makeout, she refuses but likes this a lot. Flash game. Learned it on bootcamp. I don't know, after some back and forth banter I let her go, I will see her again this night. Attraction is there. To be honest, after I went for the makeout with her and see how she likes it I get kinda uncomfortable inside, like “oh shit, she likes me, oh shit I have attraction, what should I do, she's so hot”. Now, I can handle myself in such situations, I hold eye-contact and have a chill bodylanguage, but inside it's burning. This feeling is what makes it hard for me to chill down. If you don't chill down after 30 seconds of flashgame attack the chicks will run away. Gotta remind myself. Gotta learn to TRUST that girls can like me just for me. Reference experiences needed.
Anyway, after I let this girl go I keep up the social times, talk to some more people, touch glasses, blablabla. Then I see another hot girl. Solid 8, latin looking. I grab her, “where you goin', I like you”, go for the makeout just for fun (good reference experience that nothing bad happens). Yeah, she refuses, but also kinda likes it, but tells me she's here with her boyfriend. Let her go. Flash game is fun.
Social times, social times, shooting the shit with my buddies. Later I meet the 8.5 again. Now she's smaller, she changed her high heels for normal shoes for comfort. She's still fucking hot. I love her. I talk to her and her friend. Then Leo comes in and talks to her friend and pulls her to the dancefloor. Well I try to hide it somehow that I'm a bit nervous, and have trouble toning the flash game shit down. Gotta let her breathe. She want's to drink something and I lead her to the bar, she buys a beer. While she's ordering her shit I talk to another girl at the bar to not look like a follower chode. That chick was pretty solid as well. Anyway, my 8.5 talks something about taking a smoke so I grab her hand and pull her downstairs to the smoking area. Meanwhile I really fight with myself to stop the fucking flash game attractions spiking shit, it get's fucking addictive once you start it with a girl. Cause, as I said, if you don't stop, she'll run away. Girl has to like me just for me, not for my attraction spiking skills. Chill, but it's hard, I'm pretty nervous. Plus she's super cute, I wanna make out with her. Haha, I think I tried more then 15 times, but I didn't get it. Later she just walks away and I don't wanna follow her like follower chode. I don't really know what happened. When I see her again 20 minutes later attraction is GAAAHHHN. I think I put her too much on a pedestal (but she was fucking hot), plus I was too aggressive, she had too much I guess.
By this time, I am super social since two hours, and now state starts to drop. In the end I just do one more lame ass approach and then I'm too tired to push myself more.
It was an awesome night. I had lots of fun, was very social (at least in comparison to the "old days"), and pushed myself out of my comfort zone plenty of times. In the end I was a little sad that I couldn't make out with this chick, but whatever, plenty fish in the sea.

+went out
+approached/went social right away
+went for the makeout with two or three girls
+lead the 8.5 around the club
+had fun

-could have pushed it harder (of course you can always push it harder) in terms of actually getting laid
-could have approached much more real hot chicks. there were plenty, but I was so blown away by my experience with the other chick that I kinda didn't feel the need to approach other hotties. what kinda bullshit is that? motherfucker... anyway, I love myself anyway. in the future I will push shit harder. the good times (dick in pussy) will come.
-choded in the end of the night. afraid of being rejected hard because I wasn't “in state” anymore. bullshit excuse. state is irrelevant.


---------

next day reflection:
I think what fucked it up between me and the 8.5 chick, was the dynamic that I created, which was kind of a me vs. her instead of “let's make it happen TOGETHER”. it was überobvious that I was gaming her/wanted something. when I saw her the last time, the attraction was comepletely gone, because she saw that my state had dropped.
I would say it's not really that I put hot chicks on too high of a pedestal, aka I don't really think that they're higher value then me, at least internally. however, they have something that I want: sex. so I want something from them, which makes me nervous. i'm always nervous when I want something from people. of course girl want sex too, but I still have not much experience with hot girls, so it's still really outside of my reality that chicks want it as much as I want it. if I would somehow really KNOW and understand that on a deep level, I would be much less nervous I think. so what will solve this issue? attitude, understanding the principles at work and, most importantly GOING OUT and getting these reference experiences.

tonight is another night of going out. abundance of nights baby!
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Step 2: ???
Step 3: Profit

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