THE FORUMS

July 24th, 2017
Detour's No porn and no wanking thread
Your rating: None Average: 5 (1 vote)
Bookmark and Share

detourxl~

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/01/2009 | Posts: 651

@abnarf- yep ur right. Didn't escalate hard enough. Thought it was in the bag but it wasn't. Could have got her to leave her bag, and really didn't need to go outside to bar. I guess I'm
not comfortable myself on the meet for ten
minutes in bar then come round mine to pump thing. Still have sexual anxiety I guess.

Looks like Lucy has flaked tried calling yesterday no dice- onwards ...

Liking ur work by the way

Update

life feels a bit better since the self esteem break through 2 weeks ago. Ice Bern thinking back to all my failures and successes in the game in the past (mainly failures :-)) - I can't get to the next stage of where I want yo go without self acceptance. There's just too many wounds to hide - can't do it ....

Meditation app recommended by gem is fucking PIMP 10mins every day. Just restarted tapping.

The hairs from
my hair transplant have started to sprout through - bout fucking time!

Life is very interesting right now - v. Low sex drive. Maybe when I start tapping away shit that will change? I don't know if it's cos I'm
working so
many hours but ice never felt such a low sex drive in my whole life.

In Newcastle for three days on a course - may do
some day game and harass some chicks while I'm here. Pointless with low self esteem but I guess at least can practise some outer game and get more reference experiences.

Intersting aside- trying to find a cheap place to stay for my course. Found some dude on the internet who lives alone on a farm 7 miles away from the city - £25 a night. We figured he was a at work so decided to stay in a proper hotel at £42 a nite.
__________________
"let the game be beautiful" Ryan~

MY PRE BOOTCAMP JOURNAL - a very honest account of a guy trying to transform this area of his lifehttp://www.rsdnation.com/node/176546

ALEXANDER BOOTCAMP REVIEW - Oslo, September 2011 http://www.rsdnation.com/node/200440

POST BOOTCAMP JOURNAL - holding myself accountable, seeing how far I can go. http://www.rsdnation.com/node/201364
Login or register to post.
Cat

Cat

Trusted Member

Join Date: 12/03/2010 | Posts: 2303

Just grabbed the mindfulness meditation iphone app, great suggestion.

Dude, honestly Detour, you HAVE COME A LONG WAY.

I'm proud of you, or I guess I'm proud to see you doing this, proud to see GUYS manning up about how being a positive guy is HARD and WORTH IT.  It's cool to see you 'see the light'.

I'm still reading dog, keep it up.

Hard to balance life, fuck I know it.  Glad to see its workin for you though, rad
__________________
Login or register to post.
Medieval

Medieval

Member

Join Date: 03/15/2011 | Posts: 43

 Great read. Just did start to finish last night and this morning. You have come a long way indeed and have motivated me to get out there and do approaches.
__________________
 
Login or register to post.
PEBBLE

PEBBLE

Senior Member

Join Date: 11/25/2009 | Posts: 152

 Detour for President!
__________________
 
Login or register to post.

detourxl~

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/01/2009 | Posts: 651

@cat - cheers bud, thanks for the encouragent bro. Mindfulness meditation app recommended me by Gemini. It's fucking awesome, I do 10min sesh everyday, starting to feel the effects (generally more chilled). Yep becoming happy and positive is tough when you've lived so long unhappy - I respect anyone on the field reports forum exposing themselves to humiliation in order to progress. I have no option now though -I refuse yo go back to how miserable I used to be. Mediocrity is not an option for us guys. I Think you'll be a major pimp By end of year.

@medieval - thanks man. Appreciate it man, will check out ur journal if you keep one.

@pebble - suck my pole you piss artist :-)

so today I pumped a solid hour of daygame in Newcastle after my course finished at 5 - some really cool insights and learning. Just going dinner now so will post later- want to do fairly detail post cos I learned a lot.
__________________
"let the game be beautiful" Ryan~

MY PRE BOOTCAMP JOURNAL - a very honest account of a guy trying to transform this area of his lifehttp://www.rsdnation.com/node/176546

ALEXANDER BOOTCAMP REVIEW - Oslo, September 2011 http://www.rsdnation.com/node/200440

POST BOOTCAMP JOURNAL - holding myself accountable, seeing how far I can go. http://www.rsdnation.com/node/201364
Login or register to post.

Gemini

Member

Join Date: 01/03/2011 | Posts: 88

detourxl wrote:

In Newcastle for three days on a course - may do
some day game and harass some chicks while I'm here. Pointless with low self esteem but I guess at least can practise some outer game and get more reference experiences.


http://justfuckingdoit.com/
Login or register to post.
Cat

Cat

Trusted Member

Join Date: 12/03/2010 | Posts: 2303

Ready for the insights, boyyyyy
__________________
Login or register to post.

detourxl~

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/01/2009 | Posts: 651

Cat wrote:
Ready for the insights, boyyyyy


ha man - this course was intense so late on the update

@Gemini - right back at u bro, good attitude

UPDATE

so didn't really have time to update last few days in Newcastle, way aye man!

Weds

course finished round five, the younger cats wanted to go for a drink after then dinner - but I made my excuses cos I wanted to get in my hour and half of solo daygame (with my schedule u fit it in when u can)

so goin round feeling good (I'm defo still not as confident as I was a year ago cos my hair is the hair of a forty year old with my current hairstyle - I know you can get model chicks by being ugly but I really think that's a social circle thing - the girl has had a long time to get to know the guy so his personality and blue print traits shine through - nevertheless I'm still going out and approaching as it would be cool to get reference experiences to the former)

German chick - asked German chick where shopping mall was. The changed topic immediately about travel, Germany, life. Partying - it was on! Fuck I could tell it was on - first set of day. She was student and was meeting professor at 6pm (time was 550pm) - I still tried to push for instadate for coffee though (always push, push, push)

INSIGHTS 1 & 2 & 3 =

1. Approach smiling and bubbly = I've been doing this for all my daygame sets now and are opening a hell of a lot better, yosha talks bout the importance of this. My sets defo opening much better in day.

2. The 30 - 60 second awkward phase = at this point you are just a stranger on the street. Normally during the day people are usedto a question being asked then the person fucks off. However you are staying. She doesn't fucking know you. YOU ARE A STRANGER. So what I did well was keep talking, then pepper in my recent experience in Germany (I went to present at a conference), just adding little interesting bits about myself so she is getting a bit interested.

Once she is comfortable we started talking bout her (girls favourite subject)

I guess this is when I knew it could be insta dated.

As ur talking you give off a happy playful vibe - this is important ad most people have shitty lives, watch tv all day and have no direction in life.

Then at this point connections are made then number is taken

insight 3 = though I've not pumped any chicks, my conversation skills have improved DRAMATICALLY since losing all tactics and routines.

I'm using statements, then questions, assumptions, and getting people to talk about themselves. Howver, one thing I've learned is if you want someone yo open up - you have to open up and show vulnerability first.

So anyway couldn't get her to come for coder as as she was late for meeting but was cool anyway - quite cute girl. Didn't take number as was meeting coursemates for dinner in one hour and half - this was solid daygame session

I realised I had to push my comfort zones and needed to be approaching direct and hard (like a rapist), then I started feeling unco
fortable. O became strangely happy and was enjoying pushing myself (I haven't felt like this for about a year - I used to really push hard when I started going out with pebble last year then it stopped). I also used eckhart tolle acceptance technique and this really reduced the uncomfortable feelings- good shit.

Second set = direct. Reaction she stopped smiled, said thanks, I started acting needy then boom game over gone into the centre never to be seen again

third set= "stop. Can I just say I love you're style"

this is something that says - he says you shouldn't give the girl too much as you give all your power away immediately. I agree from my limited experience of daygame. Ideally you should tell a girl something unique about her that drew you to her.

Anyway, this wasn't tactic I really liked her style. Boom- again she was but taken aback but then I just chatted a but bout what I was doing bit about me and then back to her. Then we crossed the were no longer sramgers zone after a few minutes.

Insight 1= you can quite happilly cross into hook point during day but you HAVE to barrel through those first uncomforttable minutes. I think vest thing is to talk a bit bout what you're upto that day, bit bout some stiff you like then back to her. Unless you are a male model and she's super horny - she needs to
find out if she's attracted to your personality.

At times this chick would say was late for hairdressing then I would say "no problem" then boom change topic and then she stayed! And got really into topic.

Insight 2 = it really is just like everyone says, if conversation is not heading in direction you want it then you just change it and barrell on - it almost felt bit rude but she was still well into it it was a cool reference.

This is the same for anything - night game with resisteance, pushing things if girl is hesitant - it's almost like being a naughty kid who
loves chocolate (you
want to do something else but he keeps pushing you to give home chocolate). It's subtle but not in a way. Like "gentle persuasion"

again I had to leave for dinner so said goodbyes. Didn't take number as pointless as the nite after wad the course dinner for delegates and faculty. But I'm quite comfortable getting number no biggiy - realised that cold approach (ESP during day is all bout making connection) - so from this it's only extremely natural to get number. It's almost wierd just to day bye and fuck off

few other sets and shot but cba to write down this shit

other insight

if u are approaching on girls you have to fucking show intent. A lot of my sets now are friendly banter conversation not hitting on them. I will build this in.

Lately I've been having tremendous low sex drove and intent - there's some internal things holding mr back on this and I think I know what they are

thurs

went to hotel after course. Wad going for run but slept as was knackered. Went to course meal - was on faculty table. Interesting reference the bosses are alright good chat bout travelling stories we shared bout getting
mugged with gun in south America. Left early for early night so I could make most of course.

Fri

went home after course. gave Guy on course lift home - hr is teanferring to our region soon. He is recently married. Talked about what to look for long term in marriage. Chatted bout our careers and nice to know he is going through exact same shit as me and he finds it pretty stressful and difficult time management issues. Recommended him some resources.

Went to just chill in the evening take the nite off and get much needed rest - I started to really
miss my long term ex gf. She's the reason I hot into game. I was pretending she was there kissing mr. Fucking wierd but it really
made me realise even after two Yeats these wounds haven't been healed.

Massive realization that I simply cannot open up
to chicks AT ALL. I went through so
much pain in that break up that I have built a defence mechanism round chicks. Even Diksha said when were in bed, "I hope you hurry up and get over your ex because I really like you". I thought it was some bullshit chick speak but she was right. I was just supressing it by getting more girls to paper over it.

This was a shock for me yesterday as I really thought I was over her.

Tapping for the day sorted then :-)

onwards ...




so bit chode at start but I tell myself in no uncertain terms hat I'm not leaving until I do 3 direct approachs minimum.
__________________
"let the game be beautiful" Ryan~

MY PRE BOOTCAMP JOURNAL - a very honest account of a guy trying to transform this area of his lifehttp://www.rsdnation.com/node/176546

ALEXANDER BOOTCAMP REVIEW - Oslo, September 2011 http://www.rsdnation.com/node/200440

POST BOOTCAMP JOURNAL - holding myself accountable, seeing how far I can go. http://www.rsdnation.com/node/201364
Login or register to post.

detourxl~

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/01/2009 | Posts: 651

The truth hurts ... Don't forget this day detour when you read this journal at the end of the year!!!!!

Well I was starting my tapping session today.

Mainly tapping bout my ex ayona - how i miss how she used to love and show so much affection to me. I used to love it, especially the warm embraces and soft kisses on the forehead...

Anyway it made me realise why I loved it so much, why I craved it ...

My mother has bipolar disorder, dad tells me she was on sedatives when she was pregnant which may have affected my growth. Luckily I was born with no defects. My
mother was going to have me aborted.

I remember crying as a child when my dad told me. I'd forgotten all this shit - suppressed it and thought it was "chode shit" and got on with my life and acheived a lot.

I can't ever remember my
mother hugging me and kissing me and loving me. As I'm tapping all this shit out a great sadness dwells within me - I never even knew it was there!!! But girls would tell mr shit like "there's a sadness within you", I would also be sad for no reason whatsoever.

The wounds we have do affect us whether we like it or not.

We can choose to forget they don't exist and say "don't be a faggot, just approach and lay loads of girls". Thing is ANY guy who lays lots of chicks will tell you it didn't solve his problems.

The other option is to tackle them head on and slow heal each wound, a lot of work and a lot of pain.

Well fuck that shit!!! This is my way back to happiness and balance tapping is very important for mr right now.

It explains why I have certain sticking points (eg. Ego and intimacy issues). It's a long road ahead to identity level change, a long road but there is no option. I will finish this path I'm on. The way back to happiness...

Ofcourse I will still be hitting on chicks whenever I can - that shit is mandatory, if you have sticking points it helps you identify what's up on the deeper level.
__________________
"let the game be beautiful" Ryan~

MY PRE BOOTCAMP JOURNAL - a very honest account of a guy trying to transform this area of his lifehttp://www.rsdnation.com/node/176546

ALEXANDER BOOTCAMP REVIEW - Oslo, September 2011 http://www.rsdnation.com/node/200440

POST BOOTCAMP JOURNAL - holding myself accountable, seeing how far I can go. http://www.rsdnation.com/node/201364
Login or register to post.

detourxl~

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/01/2009 | Posts: 651

Sunday Update

Fucking ell! Took night off yesterday - awesome. Really important to get some rest in, especially when you've been travelling around a lot (I have no fucking idea how Papa travels to so many different cities to do hotseat and free tour as well as the intstructors for euro tour bootcamps - they must feel pretty fucking unhealthy and generally a bit worn out - diet goes to shit). Its like whe n you get back home - you feel more grounded, can hit the protein shakes and get back to healthy lifestyle and back to the transformation grind.

Anyway mental masturbation over ...

I've nearly finished my Blueprint article. It's already at about 50 pages and IS THE SHIT!!!! I can't believe I haven't gone back to this recently. EVERY FUCKING ANSWER TO THE MAJOR QUESTIONS I HAVE IN LIFE are answered in this article. I made it for me, as a guide to transformation and a guide how to live my life and obviously get the most beautiful women in my life in the process.

I just finished point number 13 (there are 15 rules to living in my article) - It covers taking action, leading, and moving towards glory, rather than taking actions to avoid pain. By writing it - it cemented a massive sticking point in the sense I am harly dominant enough with girls are do not lead interactions hard. It also answered my current issue with feeling a bit lonely and isolated on continuing with the transformation process to live a fucking awesome life and get the women of my dreams. Everyone else around seems to be settling for mediocrity, it can feel a bit lonely when you are the only one going for true glory. But any point 13 nailed that for me - which is cool.

Damn man - theres a lot of work to be done. But I'm excited. Really excited. I've learned so much about myself by being honest on this journal and am really excited for the next 6 months,. Lots of growth.

Funny how - whenever I come out of a low couple of days it actually turns out into something positive, to spur me on even more. Will probably do a midweek beast session, and figure out what I'm doing weekend. I need to stay fresh for career but I don't see why I can't balance it out - especially with some daygame type approaches.

Watched pumping iron last nite - fucking wicked documentary. Also listened to Arnold Schwarzenegger's words of wisdom on acheiving success in life: he has six rules. Three of which is "Trust yourself" (never listen to others, do what you want in life), "Do not take heed of the naysayers" (say FUCK OFF to the people who tell you, you can't do it - they are bitter beta males), "work you butt off" (every successful person in ANY walk of life has killed themselves to get to where they are, they just don't let you see how hard they have worked).

So in response to the haters:

FUCK YOU - those people who don't beleive I can hook up with model girls
FUCK YOU - those people who don't believe I can have a great body and healthy lifestyle with a job such as mine
FUCK YOU - those people who don't beleive meditating and tapping help you become happier
FUCK YOU - those people who don't beleive that helping others and leading a good solid life is the way
FUCK YOU - those people who don't beleive I can find a beautiful wife who is intelligent, spritual, highly educated, not materialistic and traditional and self actualised.
FUCK YOU - to those people who don't believe you can achieve true happiness from within, and that somedays you just have to write off as feeling low
FUCK YOU - to those people who don't beleive you can be a good person, yet succeed massively in career and with chicks
FUCK YOU - to those people who don't think I won't reach to the heights of what I'm capable in my career
FUCK YOU - to those people who don't believ you can have a balanced life despite working 80 hr work weeks

Dear naysayers ... FUCK YOU!

The journey continues ... onwards
__________________
"let the game be beautiful" Ryan~

MY PRE BOOTCAMP JOURNAL - a very honest account of a guy trying to transform this area of his lifehttp://www.rsdnation.com/node/176546

ALEXANDER BOOTCAMP REVIEW - Oslo, September 2011 http://www.rsdnation.com/node/200440

POST BOOTCAMP JOURNAL - holding myself accountable, seeing how far I can go. http://www.rsdnation.com/node/201364
Login or register to post.