THE FORUMS
Getting physical on the dance floor is your comfort zone. Go out and stay off the dance floor or hit up more chill lounges where the energy is more low key.
It really doesn't matter what you talk about. I talk about random shit that makes me laugh or things I like to do. I'm always getting physical though...
Are you saying your sticking point is pulling or is it having conversations?
It really doesn't matter what you talk about. I talk about random shit that makes me laugh or things I like to do. I'm always getting physical though...
Are you saying your sticking point is pulling or is it having conversations?
Getting physical on the dance floor is your comfort zone. Go out and stay off the dance floor or hit up more chill lounges where the energy is more low key.
It really doesn't matter what you talk about. I talk about random shit that makes me laugh or things I like to do. I'm always getting physical though...
Are you saying your sticking point is pulling or is it having conversations?
It really doesn't matter what you talk about. I talk about random shit that makes me laugh or things I like to do. I'm always getting physical though...
Are you saying your sticking point is pulling or is it having conversations?
Well I guess both, because I dont manage to pull because I dont get to know the girl much enough, its like Im just some stimoulis thingy at the club, but thats about it, Im just some "fun time" and then its no more.
I would really benefit by getting better att conversations yes.
I know what you mean...you're stuck between ENTERTAINER and SEX WORTHY. The fact that you're getting physical is wonderful though...
Brad has some articles up about vomitting and why words don't mean shit -- I recommend you read those articles. Have you read The Physical Game? Ozzie talks in depth about verbal game.
I like to steer the conversation toward the sexual direction...that would massively benefit you because you're already getting extremely physical and making her horny. Experiment with saying dirty stuff to her. Some girls are super receptive to that and will want TO FUCK.
Most pulls take 45-90 minutes though...after you get physical with a girl and do your dance floor stuff pull her to a quieter area of the bar and sit down with her and just talk. Most guys think you can never ask questions haha but you can when you're getting to know each other
Brad has some articles up about vomitting and why words don't mean shit -- I recommend you read those articles. Have you read The Physical Game? Ozzie talks in depth about verbal game.
I like to steer the conversation toward the sexual direction...that would massively benefit you because you're already getting extremely physical and making her horny. Experiment with saying dirty stuff to her. Some girls are super receptive to that and will want TO FUCK.
Most pulls take 45-90 minutes though...after you get physical with a girl and do your dance floor stuff pull her to a quieter area of the bar and sit down with her and just talk. Most guys think you can never ask questions haha but you can when you're getting to know each other
The thing is, I might know that "words dont mean shit" or whatever, but I STILL SUCK at converation, not only with girls, but with relatives, sometimes even with friends, with guys etc.
I need to work on my conversational muscle, I already know how to spark in sexual spikes etc, Im quite good at it, I use to say shit like "u should just KNOW what I wanna do with you now" etc etc. Thats not the problem, the problem is making regular normal conversation and somehow make it interesting and create a vibe,which Im terrible at.
I need to work on my conversational muscle, I already know how to spark in sexual spikes etc, Im quite good at it, I use to say shit like "u should just KNOW what I wanna do with you now" etc etc. Thats not the problem, the problem is making regular normal conversation and somehow make it interesting and create a vibe,which Im terrible at.
The best way to go about it is to immerse yourself in your weakness:
Cold approach sitting sets and any girls just chilling where you're forced to really rely on your verbal game. Put your personality on the line. Fuck that need to 'save face', enjoy their attempts to faze you with shit test and faux-blowouts; give them the chance to enter your awesomeness.
Lower your criteria for success until you get this down. Don't worry about SNL, view it as practice for now.
Make that^ priority #1.
When you find yourself on the dancefloor with a girl who's down, rev up the sexuality. When you're in makeouts, go SUPER sexual and dominant, grab her ass/pickher up/ slam her on the wall/ pin your body hard against hers/ grab the back of her head, etc. preferablly all of the above and go for the pull "Let's go/ get out of here/ I'm taking you home NAO etc.
Dancefloor pulls are my favorite, especially at a nice sexual peak.
It's cheating really.
But do work on your verbal shit. Fine-tuning weak points and other areas of pickup will improve all other aspects of your game. e.g. improving your day game will have huge effects on your club game.
Cheers
EDIT: Yeeeahhh, this is post #420. I'd roll up a blunt if I still smoked weed
Cold approach sitting sets and any girls just chilling where you're forced to really rely on your verbal game. Put your personality on the line. Fuck that need to 'save face', enjoy their attempts to faze you with shit test and faux-blowouts; give them the chance to enter your awesomeness.
Lower your criteria for success until you get this down. Don't worry about SNL, view it as practice for now.
Make that^ priority #1.
When you find yourself on the dancefloor with a girl who's down, rev up the sexuality. When you're in makeouts, go SUPER sexual and dominant, grab her ass/pickher up/ slam her on the wall/ pin your body hard against hers/ grab the back of her head, etc. preferablly all of the above and go for the pull "Let's go/ get out of here/ I'm taking you home NAO etc.
Dancefloor pulls are my favorite, especially at a nice sexual peak.
It's cheating really.
But do work on your verbal shit. Fine-tuning weak points and other areas of pickup will improve all other aspects of your game. e.g. improving your day game will have huge effects on your club game.
Cheers
EDIT: Yeeeahhh, this is post #420. I'd roll up a blunt if I still smoked weed
__________________
FRs: KRAKÓW, PULLAND
To have a great conversation you need to relax, whatever you are saying is cool because it comes from you, you need to feel like the hot one in the conversation and everything will flow nicely. If you think she is the hot one, your brain will put you in impression mode and you will run out of things to say. So cognitively try to convince yourself (not her), that you are in fact offering value to her.
relaxe sure, I can be really relaxed, but I still need to work on my conversation skills. I mean, I can be totally relaxed with friends or relatives, but Im STILL bad at conversation, thats just a fact, conversation skill is like a muscle, and mine is WEAK. Hot one or whatever, its not just with chicks, its with GUYS too ffs, and I dont care shit about if Im the hot one or not with guys.
Conversate with everybody at all times of the day. Big pointer is that the underlying vibe is more important than the logical words being exchanged. Don't become one of those uber logical conversationalists. Watch some good stand up for examples of social vibing that has no point.
Girls are used to guys not being the best talkers. There are guys that are quiet, even silent, that still do well. Fingerman is a good example.
Don't stress too much over your lack of verbal ability. The anxiety you feel over that is probably seeping into the interaction and making you hesitate, doubt etc.
Good call on stand up. Fingerman haha that guy is awesome Girls are used to guys not being the best talkers. There are guys that are quiet, even silent, that still do well. Fingerman is a good example.
Don't stress too much over your lack of verbal ability. The anxiety you feel over that is probably seeping into the interaction and making you hesitate, doubt etc.
You're soooo close dude, you just have to get over a tiny platue. That's amazing, though, you have balls of steel bro
__________________
whatever it takes, fuckin' do it
How about;
-Strong intent.
-Express yourself freely (within some common sense limits).
-Curiosity (instead of being shitscared that they judge you) and make them invest into you.
-Screener frame and Qualifications.
-Leading conversation. (Girl; "blahblah last summer me and my family went to Italy"... then you can steer the conversation into something about summer or something about family or something about Italy. You can "hook" on certain words and start talking about it.).
-Self amusement. (talk about what interests you.).
-Making alot of statements, mix with (open-ended) questions so there is a balance.
-Wide rapport rather then deep rapport.
-Avoid talking about peep and poo and hardcore negative crap.
-Punish / reward behaviours both verbally and with opened / closed bodylanguage.
-Relaxed energylevels.
-Be able to break rapport so it dosent become to fucking serious.
-BR Tonality. Talk loud, but not too loud. (talking too loud = overcompensation. Talking to soft = fear that you intimidate peoples personal space.).
-Good EC.
-Lower the bar of whats acceptable to talk about.
-Maybe tell a story or two.
-Just change your general attitude, realise she is not better then you and loose your damn fear and grow some balls.
- Dont talk to fast, dont talk to slow. Balance.
... Maybe ?
Btw... If you are "in your head" and hyperanalyse what to say its superhard. If you appreciate what you are doing and appreciate the girl its easier. Learn to ENJOY what you are doing. The biggest natural ive seen talked about fucking regular rapport questions with girls. But he had the confidence and the vibe and loved socialising so it was cool.
I think good conversation is alot about your FRAME, your VIBE and about having balance when you talk, and about making them invest.
Curiosity is good, cause people love talking about themselves and then they invest. Also, if you dont talk about yourself so much they have to invest to get to know shit about you- good. On the other hand, sometimes you have to be open and talk about YOU first to make others talk about themselves, so it depends.
Also;.. BUILD MOMENTUM & FLOW and do your best, and dont hyperanalyse individual reactions until you see a pattern in the responses you have gotten from MANY girls. Be proactive.
-Strong intent.
-Express yourself freely (within some common sense limits).
-Curiosity (instead of being shitscared that they judge you) and make them invest into you.
-Screener frame and Qualifications.
-Leading conversation. (Girl; "blahblah last summer me and my family went to Italy"... then you can steer the conversation into something about summer or something about family or something about Italy. You can "hook" on certain words and start talking about it.).
-Self amusement. (talk about what interests you.).
-Making alot of statements, mix with (open-ended) questions so there is a balance.
-Wide rapport rather then deep rapport.
-Avoid talking about peep and poo and hardcore negative crap.
-Punish / reward behaviours both verbally and with opened / closed bodylanguage.
-Relaxed energylevels.
-Be able to break rapport so it dosent become to fucking serious.
-BR Tonality. Talk loud, but not too loud. (talking too loud = overcompensation. Talking to soft = fear that you intimidate peoples personal space.).
-Good EC.
-Lower the bar of whats acceptable to talk about.
-Maybe tell a story or two.
-Just change your general attitude, realise she is not better then you and loose your damn fear and grow some balls.
- Dont talk to fast, dont talk to slow. Balance.
... Maybe ?
Btw... If you are "in your head" and hyperanalyse what to say its superhard. If you appreciate what you are doing and appreciate the girl its easier. Learn to ENJOY what you are doing. The biggest natural ive seen talked about fucking regular rapport questions with girls. But he had the confidence and the vibe and loved socialising so it was cool.
I think good conversation is alot about your FRAME, your VIBE and about having balance when you talk, and about making them invest.
Curiosity is good, cause people love talking about themselves and then they invest. Also, if you dont talk about yourself so much they have to invest to get to know shit about you- good. On the other hand, sometimes you have to be open and talk about YOU first to make others talk about themselves, so it depends.
Also;.. BUILD MOMENTUM & FLOW and do your best, and dont hyperanalyse individual reactions until you see a pattern in the responses you have gotten from MANY girls. Be proactive.
relaxe sure, I can be really relaxed, but I still need to work on my conversation skills. I mean, I can be totally relaxed with friends or relatives, but Im STILL bad at conversation, thats just a fact, conversation skill is like a muscle, and mine is WEAK. Hot one or whatever, its not just with chicks, its with GUYS too ffs, and I dont care shit about if Im the hot one or not with guys.
For real man you probably have the wrong idea about what chatting is. It has nothing to do with sounding smart or eloquent. In this game shutting the shit is always about the emotions. You will not have 100% perfect game most of the time. The tunning of your faculties, yeah, it comes with time like a muscle, but what comes with time is the tunning, the faculties are always there. This is no some fancy shit, every human with a relative normal brain can do this stuff.
Social intelligence is often something that women respond to, a man who can converse with his surroundings and "know his world" - Having great social skills will open up so much for you.
A friend could be telling something and my answer is like "yeah...." and I cant connect it to something of my own, do u get it? My conversation skills SUCK.
nebuR
Senior Member
Join Date: 10/07/2010 | Posts: 266
My weaknesses is my social skill, which is bad, I have some social insecurities and my social confidence is not at its best, THIS is something I will have to focus on ALOT.
This has sorta put me in a situation that when Im out at the club, I often head for the dancefloor and get several makeouts, but almost no talking and thereby a PULL becomes really hard, I guess I find it comforting not having to talk but just going physical with girls, and while its enough for some superficial attraction and makeouts, it will rarely turn into a lay.
Ive only slept with 3 girls in my life (1 LTR, 2 ons), almost all my guy friends think Ive slept with atleast 40 because of my looks, isnt that redicilous? Im always saying "nope, the magic number aint even near that " but they do not believe it. Its kind of a weird thing because lots of girls and guys think im some kind of pimp, when in realty the most random AFC in my age have probably slept with more chicks.
Anyway, to show you what I mean by the lacking of social confidence, I will post a FR of this friday:
So a friend lend me "Flawless natural", which I spent the day going thru, great program. Later on were at my place slamming shots and beer and then we head out to the night-club.
The first thing I do when entering is claping my hands screaming some shit, I tell my buddie to say something that I should do, just for fun, and he say "Yeah, why dont u run out on the dancefloor, lift that hot bitch up in the air and try to make out with her?!" Im like "SURE", so I run out, thru all 3 guys who stand around her, lift her up, she starts laughing and screaming, and I make-out with her. HUGE state-boost, the rest of the night me and my buddy basicly stand at the dancefloor, having an amazing time picking up girls in he air and spin them around and shit, high-five, then go for more shots, then more dancefloor.
I make out with 7 girls this night, I have eyes ALL OVER ME, I really feel that "nimbuz burning" as rsd would call it, my state is HUGE by now, confidence is as high as it can be. One true hottie grabs me and whispers "you are SO fucking HOT" and Im like "yes I am, and you too, we would make GREAT babies, like brad pitt babies or angelina jolie", then her jealous boyfriends steps to me, a 5'5 kinda buff guy, really drunk, he tries to fight me but I Just push him away and then his GF and her friends steps in the middle, haha, however, club ending and me and hb9 from dancefloor head for the jackets, get them, head out.
She tells me "ooh thanks for the dance to night! ;D" and Im like "Oh well THANKYOU!!" and pick her up again, makeout, and she is like "ADD ME ON FACEBOOK PLEASE, u HAVE TO ADD ME" and Im like "ye sure give me your name", she gives me, and I give her my name.
Bare in mind, i really TRY to get her home, but its fucking impossible, she "has to sleep early for xyz" whatever, so I let her go and take her facebook name.
Added her yesterday but she hasnt accepted it yet.
So anyway, thats what a night is for me when im really "ON", but thats about it, only dancefloor and statepumping game, no real social practising, and I REALLY need to get better at that stuff.
I think that if I get my social skills really really sharp, I will be UNSTOPPABLE.
At the dancefloor I can be good, if I feel awesome, but in other situations I SUCK, and I really need to fix this, and I would appreciate all help I could get.
thanks