THE FORUMS
Do which one you feel comfortable with. You would look bipolar if you're alternating between the two all night!
__________________
"I beated my balls blue thinking about Livershop's last post" - Tyler Durden.................'s distant cousin, Bryan Durden
"Who the hell is Eben Pagan? Tyler Durden was the one I mentored!" -Jerry Ballinger
"We must die to the Roger every day." - Livershop (In a cruel moment of self reflection)
"Who the hell is Eben Pagan? Tyler Durden was the one I mentored!" -Jerry Ballinger
"We must die to the Roger every day." - Livershop (In a cruel moment of self reflection)
anyone else?
Getting more assertive, has nothing to do with being alpha. Assertive is the way to deal with being angry, its the only way to deal with anger. Well, it's the grown up way to be deal with anger, that is.
So learning to be assertive is good, it means you feel angry about something, and you do the right thing to deal with that. With women this can mean that she makes a joke that you don't find funny.. If your sister would make the comment, you would respond and say something about it, what a lot of men do is act like they think its funny and they let the anger drive inside of them.. in the end, they end up depressed. Anger can also be irritated, irritated is a form of anger
I think it's smart to forget about whole the alpha stuf, it will harm you more then it will do good.
You can be very chill and relaxed and at the same dominant. But for that to happen you need to have a clear view what you want out of life and what you accept and what you don't accept, you become more assertive. Chill and relaxed seems to get mixed up a lot by just being passive and lazy, that;s not chill and relaxed
just my two cents
So learning to be assertive is good, it means you feel angry about something, and you do the right thing to deal with that. With women this can mean that she makes a joke that you don't find funny.. If your sister would make the comment, you would respond and say something about it, what a lot of men do is act like they think its funny and they let the anger drive inside of them.. in the end, they end up depressed. Anger can also be irritated, irritated is a form of anger
I think it's smart to forget about whole the alpha stuf, it will harm you more then it will do good.
You can be very chill and relaxed and at the same dominant. But for that to happen you need to have a clear view what you want out of life and what you accept and what you don't accept, you become more assertive. Chill and relaxed seems to get mixed up a lot by just being passive and lazy, that;s not chill and relaxed
just my two cents
__________________
why not focus on a why which way of being makes you feel best and most fulfilled (vs which is more "alpha" according to some probably-distorted perception)?
__________________
I agree with csrpj...
Best to listen to yourself and what you want to do than to follow some kind of pre-made template. Authenticity is incredibly attractive.
I personally am both, though, at different times. They aren't at odds with each other. Guys who understand women can guide them through a variety of emotions and states. You aren't locked into just "one" set of personality traits. You can alternate masculine dominance with just being masculine and laid-back... sometimes being the coquette who entices her to chase you, and sometimes being super dominant and just throwing her on the bed to fuck her.
The less predictable you are, the better.
Your last question was: "Whats your understanding of these? How do you apply it correctly?"
You don't "apply dominance" or "apply being laid back."
These are things you ARE, not things you "apply" like tools.
And what's "correct" is what your natural self, your natural desires as a man compel you to do and say.
Best to listen to yourself and what you want to do than to follow some kind of pre-made template. Authenticity is incredibly attractive.
I personally am both, though, at different times. They aren't at odds with each other. Guys who understand women can guide them through a variety of emotions and states. You aren't locked into just "one" set of personality traits. You can alternate masculine dominance with just being masculine and laid-back... sometimes being the coquette who entices her to chase you, and sometimes being super dominant and just throwing her on the bed to fuck her.
The less predictable you are, the better.
Your last question was: "Whats your understanding of these? How do you apply it correctly?"
You don't "apply dominance" or "apply being laid back."
These are things you ARE, not things you "apply" like tools.
And what's "correct" is what your natural self, your natural desires as a man compel you to do and say.
__________________
Listen to me! You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you, never wanted you, and in all probability, he HATES you. It is not the worst thing that can happen.
It isn't?
We don't NEED him!
We don't - we don't!?
Fuck damnation, man! Fuck redemption! We're God's unwanted children? SO BE IT!
It isn't?
We don't NEED him!
We don't - we don't!?
Fuck damnation, man! Fuck redemption! We're God's unwanted children? SO BE IT!
Guys who understand women can guide them through a variety of emotions and states.
do we dare to say: Guys who understand themselves can guide them trough a variaty of emotions and states just by being themselves?
__________________
Guys who understand women can guide them through a variety of emotions and states.
do we dare to say: Guys who understand themselves can guide them trough a variaty of emotions and states just by being themselves?
__________________
Listen to me! You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you, never wanted you, and in all probability, he HATES you. It is not the worst thing that can happen.
It isn't?
We don't NEED him!
We don't - we don't!?
Fuck damnation, man! Fuck redemption! We're God's unwanted children? SO BE IT!
It isn't?
We don't NEED him!
We don't - we don't!?
Fuck damnation, man! Fuck redemption! We're God's unwanted children? SO BE IT!
eh what? GUys IM a newbie, ofcoure I have to apply it in the beginning, these answers are way to "deep" and paradoxical for me, ofcourse I wanna be "alpha" because "alphas" get girls, according to the rsd philosophy.
Please spare me all new age bullshit and just tell me some practical straight answers, if not, dont answer at all.
These things seriously make ppl anxious and fucked up
Please spare me all new age bullshit and just tell me some practical straight answers, if not, dont answer at all.
These things seriously make ppl anxious and fucked up
Positive dominance dude is like a breaking rapport tonality with a smile.
You naturally do it when your in the zone. Took me a while to get this as well. You can be really and happy while still moving towards or going after what you want.
Nothing stopping you from escalating while really chilled out - i mean look at Brad. He's assertive and relaxed.
When you think of the word assertive or dominant they might have some negative or agressive conotations attached to them but theyre not like that at all.
Asserting the ideal reality you want is different to being controlling.
You can still be really chill and draw boundaries or step up for yourself.
Drop the whole alpha/beta paradigm. Alpha comes from within. Self esteem/internal validation/core confidence - whatever you want to call it, thats alpha. There can be more than one alpha in a room. Who do you think the alpha male is when all the instructors are in the same room? They all are.
"Alpha's get girls" - so do chodes. I've had chodier guys than me pull a girl im going after.
Hard to explain but i promise you, you will fully get this in a couple months with more and more experience. Then it'll come to a point at which you dont really think about it much.
You naturally do it when your in the zone. Took me a while to get this as well. You can be really and happy while still moving towards or going after what you want.
Nothing stopping you from escalating while really chilled out - i mean look at Brad. He's assertive and relaxed.
When you think of the word assertive or dominant they might have some negative or agressive conotations attached to them but theyre not like that at all.
Asserting the ideal reality you want is different to being controlling.
You can still be really chill and draw boundaries or step up for yourself.
Drop the whole alpha/beta paradigm. Alpha comes from within. Self esteem/internal validation/core confidence - whatever you want to call it, thats alpha. There can be more than one alpha in a room. Who do you think the alpha male is when all the instructors are in the same room? They all are.
"Alpha's get girls" - so do chodes. I've had chodier guys than me pull a girl im going after.
Hard to explain but i promise you, you will fully get this in a couple months with more and more experience. Then it'll come to a point at which you dont really think about it much.
__________________
If i remember this right...
Tyler talks in foundations about how you have one alpha who is the more relaxed type who people qualifys themselves to and he sits there and is relaxed and listens, and then the other type who is more the anchor of the conversation with very active framecontrol etc.
You can frame the first dude as almost kinda timid, but you can also frame the second as tryhard actually. The relaxed thing can be framed as you dont even HAVE TO TRY, and you can also frame the second type in a positive light as the outgoing etc. Two sides of the coin.
There are different type of alphas.
I think relaxed is very good, and dont see the contradiction with asserting oneself? You can still speak clearly and loud, draw boundaries etc.
Jay-Z is example of very relaxed alpha i think.
MISTERI has even said that relaxed and comfortable is more important than being confident.
Tyler talks in foundations about how you have one alpha who is the more relaxed type who people qualifys themselves to and he sits there and is relaxed and listens, and then the other type who is more the anchor of the conversation with very active framecontrol etc.
You can frame the first dude as almost kinda timid, but you can also frame the second as tryhard actually. The relaxed thing can be framed as you dont even HAVE TO TRY, and you can also frame the second type in a positive light as the outgoing etc. Two sides of the coin.
There are different type of alphas.
I think relaxed is very good, and dont see the contradiction with asserting oneself? You can still speak clearly and loud, draw boundaries etc.
Jay-Z is example of very relaxed alpha i think.
MISTERI has even said that relaxed and comfortable is more important than being confident.
nebuR
Senior Member
Join Date: 10/07/2010 | Posts: 266
But at the same time, ppl tell you to be "chill and relaxed" but that is everything but dominant and "alpha" and using your "fury" as Tim would say, or "intent".
Whats your understanding of these? How do you apply it correctly?