THE FORUMS

Last two weeks I've been dealing with drama with blondie and her friend.

Went out last thur and got quite drunk. Kissed a girl infront of blondie who I guess I was kinda "with". She wouldn't speak to me for the rest of the night. Saw her friend (the one who I clicked with) and she tried to cheer me up. She did a pretty good job by coming back to my place and giving me a blowjob. Now I feel like a complete douche, and blondie doesn't know about me hookinh up with her friend. 

On wed this week I go out solo and see the friend. Also do a couple of approaches but nothing hectic. The friend keeps trying to kiss me but I tell her I need to just wait a while so blondie doesn't find out and be sad and hate us. I loose my wallet with my drivers license, bank cards, cash, gym card, more cards and after asking just about every person i the club if they found it, go home and be depressed.

Now blondie is back in love with me.

Fucking drama. I just want to have fun, without hurting people, without having to go behind peoples backs. 

Friday I see blondie and tell her I don't want a relationship. I know it was kind of an all or nothing choice with her, as she wouldn't be down for just seeing me casually. So guess that's over. Felt relieved I guess.

Saturday I got to gym for two hours. Something clicks and I snap out of the glum state I've been in for the previous 2 days. I'm in one of those moods where I find it hard to believe that I ever feel like a chode. So I know its going to be a good night.

Head out with friends, have 2 for 1 cocktails and a few double brandys. When I get to the club I chill with my friends for a bit then I say "Ok, time to talk to girl. Later". Spend the rest of the might mingling. I remembered DistantLight talking about planting seeds and I think this is a good way of looking at it. Especially at a club like this, approaching a girl and trying to stick it out with her isn't ideal. Chatting to girls then moving on, chatting to other people, being SEEN chatting to other people, reaaproaching. Just seems to work well. 

The friend of blondie, I'll call her smiley, was there and I made her my target. It was almost like I was just approaching other sets for the momentum and social proof than to make shit happen. I think this might have been a bad mindset to be in, almost like acting that way because of outcome dependence with smiley. Just a little subtlety I noticed.

Other than that, shit went well with her. Vibe, take away, reapproach, turn on sexual tension. At one point I was giving her compliments (saying them because I wanted to, not to get approval) and she was loving it so much she just couldn't handle it.. Blushing and trying to hide away while she was simultaneously trying to climb on to me. Was quite funny. I also didn't kiss her for a long time, which seemed to keep the sexual tension high.

Couldn't get the pull though. At one point she said "maybe" to my "come back to my place to chill" and I thought it was going down. Then she seemed to get more logical and insisted she couldn't cause she was going back with her brother who was is super protective. I kept thinking to myself that I should just drop it, get her state up and try again. I did try this a few times but don't think I did well enough. Anyway, she is super in to me and it will defintely happen soon.

Haha ya that wouldn't surprise me. We found this mad spot with R12 doubles, pretty sweet! 

Quick summary of smiley lay.

Spend time with blondie... Looking for a 3some. She is drunk and is telling me how she has bi desires. Like she's pretty serious and mentions all girls who would do it but have JUST left. I'm excited by this and try find a girl to get involved. My 3some game is obviously not up to Jeffy standards so can't find anyone. ALMOST get one of blondie's friends convinced. She is super in to me but she really wasn't in to the 3some idea. I did get her seriously thinking about it in the end.

Then blondie hooks up with a guy in front of me. It's so obvious that she is doing this because of me hooking up with a girl infront of her the other night. She is a nice girl though, and is distraught with herself when she realises what she did. Have a big drama scene where everybody is turning to look at us as blondie is freaking out saying how sorry she is and all she wants is me. Her friends are trying to drag her away.

Was a little bleak. But I got over it fairly quickly. Did a textbook approach at the bar - approached well, got her hooked, pulled her in close. She was super in to me but I wasn't feeling it. Blondie was also sitting on a couch and kept looking at me. So eventually I was like fuck all this. Sms smiley (who i know is at the other club) hoping she hasnt left yet. It's closing time all over the place but luckily she is outside the club next door... Chilling with my best mate incidently, who is too drunk to talk.

It's on from the moment I see her. The night before she'd come over to my place and we hung out, watched a movie and made out. Felt like she needed that bit of comfort with me. So now, she basically jumped my face. We all get a taxi back together to my place. We all have a smoke, chat a bit. Then I make eye signals to smiley to come upstairs.

We bang for like 2 hours. She makes extreme pornstar noises... tells me to pull out and come all over her... I oblige. She then rubbed it all over her tits and licked her fingers. Hot

PROGRESS FROM 2010

I've been interested in pickup for just over a year now. I think I discovered it at the beginning of last year and started reading a lot of different stuff - RJ to MM. I just got pumped up by the idea that you can learn this whole pickup thing. I envisioned myself as a pickup guru but didn't take any action at all.

I knew the truth! Those poor guys who hadn't found this stuff and were doing it all wrong! (read - cool guys who were getting laid).

Started reading and getting interested in RSD stuff in June 2010. It connected with me. Couldn't imagine myself "running patterns" and shit like that so RSD looked like the way for me.

Started making shifts in thinking in the second half of 2010. Continuing to read RSDN but still not doing a whole lot about it.

By the end of 2010 I was starting to take some action. I knew all the principles, I'd watched the Blueprint. I'm a clever guy... I got how it worked so I should be owning this shit is what i told myself. But I sucked. After 2 years of varsity, relying on getting wasted to get club makeouts and only getting an odd lay here and there, I was just didn't know how to be that sex worthy guy.

2011 was the year of change. I stopped smoking weed, I stopped drinking as much (kinda), I started learning how to go out solo and make cold approaches. I started my journal 6 months ago in March.

The last few months I have been getting ripped, hitting gym 3-4 days a week. I'm eating well.

Last week I slept with the 10th girl in my life. It's far from a lot. But now having sex seems like a natural thing to me.

I've pushed through the pain period and it's been pretty tough. It took beginning this journey to get to a point where I feel good about it, and about myself.

The cool thing is that this is just the beginning. I've begun the journey and I can only get better from here.