How to beat any kind of anxiety

Posted January 13th, 2011 at 10:42 AM

#11

Junior Member

Join Date: 06/28/2010 | Posts: 18

Cupcakes wrote:

Anxiety is SO EASY to beat, provided you actually grab your balls (or the fleshy patch where they should be), and go out and TAKE ACTION.

Everything here comes from my own firsthand experience. Hope it helps!

90% action, you are repeating/saying the same principle in BLUEPRINT. Good work.

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Posted January 13th, 2011 at 11:58 AM

#12

Paris Boum Boum

Trusted Member

Join Date: 04/02/2009 | Posts: 2491

Nice post.

IME exposure is key but sometimes it's not enough. Typical example: the guy in the community for years who still has to fight against approach anxiety.

You need to expose yourself AND to examine yourself until you spot what is at the root of the problem and you change it. It's the difference between hitting a wall with your bare fist every night and just climbing to see what is on the other side.

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Posted January 13th, 2011 at 9:48 PM

#13

Cupcakes

Trusted Member

Join Date: 12/14/2010 | Posts: 1274

Yeah you can't just go out and magically expect everything to be fixed, you actually have to push yourself far out of your comfort zone, then keep pushing and pushing as you adapt, and learn from your mistakes. You do see a lot of guys whining that they are going out but aren't improving, this is because they aren't pushing themselves. OK, maybe they are exposing themself to anxiety, but then they don't go and really step things up. Maybe just going out to a bar alone scares them, and they go and do this. But then the next dozen times they go out they do the exact same thing, struggling to talk to women, this is why they don't improve, because they aren't constantly pushing themselves further out of their comfort zone. You have to keep forcing yourself to push harder and harder, and you have to learn from your mistakes (which is why field reports are so helpful.)

Paris Boum Boum wrote:

IME exposure is key but sometimes it's not enough. Typical example: the guy in the community for years who still has to fight against approach anxiety.

You need to expose yourself AND to examine yourself until you spot what is at the root of the problem and you change it. It's the difference between hitting a wall with your bare fist every night and just climbing to see what is on the other side.

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CAN'T TALK TO WOMEN?
GET THE FUCK OUT THERE AND TALK TO THEM.
FAILURE IS THE ONLY WAY TO SUCCEED.
EMBRACE THAT OR BE A LOSER.
YOUR CHOICE.

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Posted January 30th, 2011 at 5:38 AM

#14

leontheprofessional

Junior Member

Join Date: 08/11/2010 | Posts: 19

great post! i totally forgot about the whole concept of creating reference!

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"Never resist the reality in front of you"

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Posted January 30th, 2011 at 7:37 AM

#15

gruenfeld

Trusted Member

Join Date: 09/21/2006 | Posts: 1282

just read the exposure bit and i agree.

exposure until you can surf it.

after a while it becomes like "holding" "surfing" "balancing" your desired chill state. outside forces are pulling away at this most of the time but you can hold it and magic happens. that's the best way to describe it.

if you want to take control of your results, take control of your state.

for me state is a proactive task. vigilance is required because if you become lenient, it can be taken away. or you are such a master at this and you arrive at a point where nothing can break it and you can intensify the chill vibe at will.

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