THE FORUMS

November 28th, 2014
How to beat any kind of anxiety
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Cupcakes

Cupcakes

Trusted Member

Join Date: 12/14/2010 | Posts: 1274

First post on RSD :)

So, anxiety sucks. It can be approach anxiety, or just general anxiety in some social situations. Nearly everybody experiences it sometimes. The good news is that it is easy to overcome, provided you have the balls to take action (and since you are a man, I would hope that you have balls, 2 of them to be precise.)

The secret to beating anxiety is EXPOSURE. That's right, no magic pill, no mental masturbation. No magical artciel on RSD Nation to read. You have to expose yourself to situations that make you anxious. As you experience it, you will eventually habituate to the anxiety and it will lessen and lessen. And this can happen fucking fast. Especially at first, you can notice improvements every day. If you overcome anxiety in one type of situation, it won't just help with similar situations in the future, but all situations (although to a lesser extent.) You need to expose yourself to as many different types of things that cause you anxiety as possible.

You need to start small. Doesn't matter if it's something small and insignificant that you're exposing yourself to, if it causes you anxiety, then it will work. As time goes by you need to move on to bigger and bigger things. And as time goes by, something that may have totally daunted you now seems achievable.

Some people have "crutches". They may have a favourite nightspot they go to where they feel more comfortable. They might not like going to other places as much because they don't feel comfortable there. Well, guess what. If you started going to these places that cause you discomfort, eventually you will become comfortable in them. It can take a little time, but it will happen. Maybe you feel anxious if you go out to a nightclub with anything less than your best outfit on. The solution here is to go out dressed down, or not even that, but dressed in something that you are not used to, that you are not as comfortable wearing. Yes, you want to be presentable, but you need to push your comfort zone to beat your anxiety. Drinking. If you complain you can't "game" while sober, or that you suck while sober, going out and drinking so you can get "results" will NOT help you become any more comfortable when you are out while sober. You can't stay drunk for your whole life (or can you...? :) 

As far as the Blueprint goes, it teaches you good stuff. It can help to overcome anxiety. But knowledge is useless without application and experience. Like Tyler says, you need to go out and get those "reference experiences". And a quick note on anxiety in general: you might think that it is not a big part of your problem. But when you start to overcome it, everything gets easier. You get much more chill in your own skin. Everything becomes easier. Anxiety is SO EASY to beat, provided you actually grab your balls (or the fleshy patch where they should be), and go out and TAKE ACTION.

Let's wrap this up. So, you want to beat your anxiety?

1. Write down a list of every situation you can think of that causes you anxiety. This includes situations that you try to avoid because they might make you feel uncomfortable. Example: going out alone makes you feel anxious, and you often stay home instead of going out if your mates can't go out too.

2. Find a way to expose yourself to this anxiety. Example: go out alone.

3. Repeatedly do this. Exposure yourself to the anxiety. Don't get up and leave because it's too uncomfortable, just stick it out. Over time you'll feel the bad feeling lessen. Repeat this step until you are comfortable in that situation. Example: Go out alone to a club and stay there for a period of time, longer is better (and SOBER!) You don't have to talk to anybody, just being there and enduring the anxiety will cause you to improve, even if it doesn't feel like it at that moment. That's the key: enduring the anxiety. Even if you only hold out alone in the nightclub for 5 minutes, at least you took action, you went there, and you at least held out for a short period of time. The next time, it will be easier. Baby steps!

4. Do something more extreme. Example: instead of just going out alone, go out alone and dance. Or go to a few different venues. Or spend several hours there, instead of just a half hour. Or pick a place that causes you discomfort, even when you are there with friends. Or mix it with another anxiety you have.

Everything here comes from my own firsthand experience. Hope it helps!
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CAN'T TALK TO WOMEN?
GET THE FUCK OUT THERE AND TALK TO THEM.
FAILURE IS THE ONLY WAY TO SUCCEED.
EMBRACE THAT OR BE A LOSER.
YOUR CHOICE.
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#1

CBAABC

Trusted Member

Join Date: 02/20/2009 | Posts: 1818

 Awesome post!

I used to avoid those situations. And it was a short term relief but in long term it only fucks me up.

ChinaBoy
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#2

403ANDERSON

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/10/2009 | Posts: 283

isnt this the premise of ozzies book?
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#3
Symphony

Symphony

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/19/2010 | Posts: 149

 isnt this the premise of behavioural therapy?
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#4
GaryBusey

GaryBusey

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/01/2010 | Posts: 945

Fuck what this is the premise of. It is spot on.

I read the four points and directly I was like "fuuuuuuck, I know I should do this".

Exposure it is. Cool post.
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"There is no world apart from what you wish, and herein lies your ultimate release.
Change but your mind on what you want to see, and all the world must change accordingly." -  A Course in Miracles
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#5
Cupcakes

Cupcakes

Trusted Member

Join Date: 12/14/2010 | Posts: 1274

Thanks for the feedback guys!
__________________
CAN'T TALK TO WOMEN?
GET THE FUCK OUT THERE AND TALK TO THEM.
FAILURE IS THE ONLY WAY TO SUCCEED.
EMBRACE THAT OR BE A LOSER.
YOUR CHOICE.
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#6
Dj

Dj

Member

Join Date: 12/27/2010 | Posts: 34

Great read.

Making approaching a habit is a great way to get over anxiety.
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#7

elemeno

Respected Member

Join Date: 03/04/2009 | Posts: 317

 so fucken true. i used to have MAJOR ANXIETY and once i started cold approaching it slowly faded away, but comes back sometimes when i am stagnate and dont push myself
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#8

detourxl~

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/01/2009 | Posts: 614

I was debating whether to read this or not, as I think I've got a pretty good game plan to be taking action with.

But I'm glad I did read it. It added value to me.

Thanks for posting it man, solid advice.
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"let the game be beautiful" Ryan~

MY PRE BOOTCAMP JOURNAL - a very honest account of a guy trying to transform this area of his lifehttp://www.rsdnation.com/node/176546

ALEXANDER BOOTCAMP REVIEW - Oslo, September 2011 http://www.rsdnation.com/node/200440

POST BOOTCAMP JOURNAL - holding myself accountable, seeing how far I can go. http://www.rsdnation.com/node/201364
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#9

Stanislav

Member

Join Date: 06/13/2010 | Posts: 89

nice!
thanks for the poust!
thumbs up
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#10

SolidGamer

Junior Member

Join Date: 06/28/2010 | Posts: 18

Cupcakes wrote:
Anxiety is SO EASY to beat, provided you actually grab your balls (or the fleshy patch where they should be), and go out and TAKE ACTION.

Everything here comes from my own firsthand experience. Hope it helps!
90% action, you are repeating/saying the same principle in BLUEPRINT. Good work.
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