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December 6th, 2016
Turning sets around (BEASTMODE 1111!!!!)
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Paris Boum Boum

Paris Boum Boum

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Join Date: 04/02/2009 | Posts: 2948

It is happening a lot lately, so I want to share. 

When I was getting bad responses (and sometimes even good ones lol), I would eject. Sometimes I would get angry.

Now I just don't care, and keep pushing the envelope. It yields interesting results. 

On Saturday for example, I see a very cute tall girl is with 4 guys, including BF. I was wondering how to approach, an postponed my approach. The bar was packed, I bump into a guy, he pushes back me hard, and we are getting into a very angry argument. But I stay unreactive, I keep on talking to him and to his friend, then I see an opportunity in the conversation and shift the energy around. A few minutes after that we become friend. I realized those guys were the guys with the girl I was checking out. End of story, we have a great time, the girl is very attracted, ignoring all the guys in her group, the BF is feeling uncomfortable, the guys think I am the shit, but I don't do shit afterwards because she was with BF, and we leave the bar.

My point is that turning bad interactions into good interactions is happening more and more, and it happens when:
-I stay chill although bad emotions are thrown at me, I keep my emotional state at normal level.
-I keep on talking. The more you talk, the more likely you are to find an opportunity to make something positive out of your interaction. 
-After a while, your chill state becomes contagious and their emotional level calms down. 
-Add in some humor. 
-Suddenly they realize you are the money guy, you gain bonus points because you didn't take their shit, and they love you. 

I'd love to hear some stories about how you turned sets around, and what helps you do that. 



 
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#1
Paris Boum Boum

Paris Boum Boum

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Join Date: 04/02/2009 | Posts: 2948

Yes. The key I think is to keep your cool under every circumstances and to genuinely not be affected. Meditation may help, as it teaches you to do this on autopilot, but I haven't practiced it a lot yet. 

One of my SP now is to push things forward once you turned it around.
As an example, I gave up on a girl who got angry with me last Friday. Although I managed to turn things around,  I became emotionally weak in the process and strangely found better to leave her after things became smooth rather than enjoying the ride from there. 
that was ego protection here: I preferred to leave the set on a high note than risk to make the interaction bad again. 

Thx for feedback. I'd love to read some examples you experienced in the field. 
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#2

longhorn

Senior Member

Join Date: 07/11/2008 | Posts: 130

Thanks for the breakdown Paris, never really looked at it that way.  I guess looking back at times I've been successful with bad sets, being unreactive was the entire key.

I've turned around sets and hooked up with girls who have slapped me, girls who slapped my friend and screamed at us to get the fuck out, and girls who told me to walk away.  When those moments happened it was usually cause I was in 'state' and i felt a hidden undercurrent of the girl liking me and viewed all her negative actions as shit tests.  I think that was the key for me at least -> believing that no matter what the girl does, it's her way of communicating she likes you.  Maybe a bit delusional but sometimes delusional gets better results.  
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#3
Paris Boum Boum

Paris Boum Boum

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Join Date: 04/02/2009 | Posts: 2948

longhorn wrote:


 i felt a hidden undercurrent of the girl liking me and viewed all her negative actions as shit tests.  I think that was the key for me at least -> believing that no matter what the girl does, it's her way of communicating she likes you.
Nice. 
I can be unreactive, but thinking that she is actually expressing her love by acting this way I am not used to. 

Or maybe we should distinguish between shit tests, when she is probing for congruence, and genuine bad interactions, when it just doesn't work, I don't know.

Keep 'em coming.
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#4
Powerhouse

Powerhouse

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Join Date: 06/22/2009 | Posts: 1711

Pure expression will turn things around like none other.

I went from having a girl hate me to 10 seconds later, "omg did we just become friends?" because i refused to back down
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#5
Paris Boum Boum

Paris Boum Boum

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Join Date: 04/02/2009 | Posts: 2948

Powerhouse wrote:
1-Pure expression

2-i refused to back down
Nicely put. Thanks. 
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#6
Paris Boum Boum

Paris Boum Boum

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Join Date: 04/02/2009 | Posts: 2948

bump
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#7
Deft

Deft

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Join Date: 06/16/2008 | Posts: 2040

I love this, I wanted to write about this subject no long ago but I though few people would understand.

I think that thing is based on the emotional response you give them, basically its better that they hate you than nothing, weird shit but it correlates with the whole emotional arousal thing, to men and women, a lot of times I say whats on my mind blah blah blah then someone says I think you are wrong and bla bla or whatever and we will have an argument and then its all over, connection made, fighting like an old friend boom and you change the energy 360º.

Its fucking awesome thing to do specially the fact that you are taking what everyone sees as problem and see opportunities.

NiCe.
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#8
Wolfie

Wolfie

Senior Member

Join Date: 02/20/2010 | Posts: 99

I think most of the time a rejection means "not now".  Other story is it when you already talked and she really do not like you because you said something wrong orso.  Turning bad sets into good sets happen more and more to me; so I think it's just experience and a "I don't give a fuck"-attittude, and ... I REALLY don't give a fuck.  When she really gets to know me, she will like me, otherwise it's not possible.
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#9

sadie

Junior Member

Join Date: 03/03/2011 | Posts: 11

ah i get angry at myself after a bad night and post on rsd as well. we will call it PBP, post-blowout-posting.

anyway, your personality doesn't suck. hard to tell though you don't give enough details abuot what you're doing

being too serious is a sign of insecurity
mb7-842 // 70-554 // 70-235
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