THE FORUMS

March 30th, 2017
Cat 5.0
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dave7-

dave7-

Trusted Member

Join Date: 05/14/2012 | Posts: 3397

Some kind of silver solution might help for your throat. At least it really helps if I have a sinus thing, I just pour it down my nose. Maybe try that, it's intense b/c you can feel it go down the back of your throat and it gets at the infection. #Trust me :)

P.S. I just fed some raw grass fed beef to my cat. Meow. 
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harrah

harrah

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Join Date: 08/29/2012 | Posts: 504

Welcome back!! Crazy that it's been almost 1+ year since we met. Things have changed, in a really awesome way for me. Whatever happened to you, it'll be great reference experience :)

I was going to Seattle this weekends.


Cat Wrote:
Dear Friends,

I am single once again.  Had an amazing (truly) relationship for a little over 13 months with a really special girl but alas, we had some real stuff that we couldn't come to terms with.  Left each other in a pool of tears and I-love-yous.  Zero hurt feelings, zero resentment, zero "suffering," just sadness to lose someone so close in a certain way (despite knowing that we'll maintain a wonderful friendship eventually).  

Happened last Saturday, today is Tuesday, still raw, still up and down, still sad.  If I wasn't, why the fuck would you stay with someone for 13 months of my life.  I call that A SUCCESS, feeling sad, literally, a sign of success, a sign of experiencing deep emotions, of actually giving a fuck.  Why would you want it any other way?

Still far too soon to know what I want going forward ... but given that I'm posting up on RSDN, perhaps you can guess the direction I'm thinking ;)

I've learned so much about relationships and more importantly, what I need to have a fulfilling relationship, each time I go in and come out.  If anything, I learned more about myself in the last year than I could've in game (hard to compare but I'll hedge there).  

So here's a quick update on me, what's new, what's old.  

-- "passified" my business, running on zero employees, just passive income for me, my biz partner, and our investors
-- have started a new business and am 5 months in -- I can talk process on this, how I found the problem I wanted to solve, how we've gone about handling it, etc later.  Am pivoting from a services business to an information product / education business in the coming 6 months. Excited.
-- have gotten deep into powerlifting and nutrition, most recently going from 180 to 215 back to 187.  I wrote awhile ago that I had a goal of being 185 shredded.  I care less about shredded now but know I'm stronger than ever with lower bodyfat.  This isn't an ego thing, it's a powerlifting sport thing (this is what you maximize in powerlifting, strength / body weight).  
-- I quit using substances on any regular basis last month and have seriously enjoyed the results.  I feel more stable and focused.  Smoking weed and watching TV became a regular "hang out" w my old GF, something I realized eventually was pretty shitty.  Took my own responsibility and changed.  
-- have continued and deepend my own internal journey.  Continual focus on presence, inward strength, and warmth.  I want everyone who spends time with me to just feel better for no damn reason.  It's the best feeling to give this to others, truly. Aim to give, not take, as it selfishly produces the most happiness.
-- have focused on minimalism, removing clutter and things from my life.  Am moving to a smaller apartment over the next two weeks, saving a ton of cash which I continue to invest in the Indexes (thank you free money @ 15%) 
-- on and off on meditation but keep the practice on occassion.  Hit my first isolation float tank a few weeks ago and it was amazing.  Have two more sessions paid for and will hit it again in a bit.  
-- have spent more time backpacking and hiking in the wilderness of my home state this summer than ever before and loved it.  All of these practices are to SLOW THE FUCK DOWN, to go INWARDS AND BREATHE, to EXPERIENCE SLOWER AND DEEPER.  Meditation, float tank, reading, powerlifting, all these practices focus me deeply on the activity at hand and produce amazing results in productivity and wellbeing.  
-- have focused on spending very little money, again to build up my networth faster, compound my earnings more quickly, with the goal of retiring on 4% of my stock portfolio as soon as possible.  I would like to not have to do anything for the sake of money after I'm 35.  This frees me to detach what I spend my life doing with what I "need to do to survive".  Simultaneously I'm spending (often large) amounts of money on things I know will help me long term: physical therapy, float tank, books, and investing.  
-- I've grown closer with my family and realize how important this is to me as a value.  Everyone has their own shit but I'm dedicated to staying close with them throughout my life.  They provide me with support, fun, and they help me gut-check what I'm doing in my life when others (GFs, friends) might not be as ruthless.  I learn so much about myself asking them about me.  Cultivate this.  
-- I do what I want.  I don't answer to anyone.  But I support those who ask of me when I can.  I coordinate with others and work to support people who support me.  
-- I've realized a truth that happens probably in your mid-twenties: some of your friends become really toxic with really unhealthy habits (alcoholism, really deeply negative limiting beliefs) and have learned to let these people go.  This has been a process of internal healing for me as much as a wakeup call for them.  
-- I've seen amazing live performances, lectures, movies, and speakers.  I've studied modern theoretical partical physics (without the math, just concepts), hacking, nutrition, and muscle physiology.  I've read amazing books, tried new foods, different diets, and learned and learned and learned.

Today is just one more day in that journey to experience me.  I don't fight the feelings I have, the thoughts that arise and fall away, the good and the bad and the ugly.  

I'm just me.

Life is absurd.  There is no point, there never was, and the only point there will be is the meaing you give to your own life.  This fact is neither good nor bad but just fact.  

Embrace the chaos, for it is beautiful, devestating, and never under your control.  

I'm back.
-Cat
 
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Paris Boum Boum

Paris Boum Boum

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Join Date: 04/02/2009 | Posts: 2948

Hi !

:)

 
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ozbuckley

Senior Member

Join Date: 02/22/2010 | Posts: 124

Bro start gargling cayenne pepper. It's uncomfortable but works if you do it at least a few times a day. Just google 'cayenne pepper sore throat earthclinic' for proof.

gargle it with warm water with some sea salt in their too.

you could even try gargling apple cider vinegar too
too
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Cat

Cat

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Join Date: 12/03/2010 | Posts: 2300

Updates!

SUP PBB!!!   :)  Caught up on your new FR, it is ze good.

Got SO SICK as it turns out.  Got a fucking STAPH infection in the back of my throat.  Stayed active doing stuff, socializing, and two Thursdays ago I tanked and almost took myself to the ER, was texting ppl for prescription pain killers.  Stayed up all night and eventually got in the next morning, got codeine syrup, antibiotics.  The horrific white infection in my throat was gone in 3 days, I'm still on the antibiotics with a sore throat.

One thing I need to learn to do is NOSE BREATHE at night.  I made the switch from a mouth breather to nose during the day (easier w/o allergy season) but need to figure this out at night -- I wake up and my throat is dry and sore.  

I also keep sweating through my sheets, pillow, and blanket.  Even now.  So hopefully that goes away or otherwise I need to go back to the doctor -- frustrating as it does have me a bit worried.  I'm assuming I just have a rough viral infection, causing a fever, causing night sweat and bad sleep, which suppressed my immune system enough for me to get staph, a bacterial infection.  After these last 3 days of antibiotics I hope to have beat the bacterial infection.  Yikes.  I don't like spending $$ on healthcare like this.  Future lessons --> nose breathe at night, address a cold much earlier than I need to, and ditch the caffeine entirely when I think I'm getting sick.  I need to be ruthless about turning down evening plans.  I simply cannot afford to spend my extra money on seeing the doctor every 3 months (or more often).  I'd rather be less social, literally. 

OKAY.  So that happens.  By Monday I'm well enough to move all my shit to my new place.  I move a ton of of it myself, then have my homie Atown help w/ the big stuff.

We finish up and head to grab a burrito on me.  We head to chipotle, the default spot for me and my ex.  I tell my homie it makes me sorta butthurt, jokingly.  

Of course we're inside, I turn to my left, and a short brunette with big tits and great hair is staring at me.  My ex.  What are the fucking odds?  Probably pretty high.  Fuck you chipotle!

Atown sits and chows his burrito (which I grabbed him) and I go and talk with her.  Take her outside because shes crying and hyperventilating.  20/30 minutes of her crying, saying shes struggling, shes unsure of the whole thing, etc.  Eventually Atown pops out and hands me my burrito and takes off.  Fuck.  If you read this dawg, I OWE YOU!!  I apologize profusely later and he genuinely understands.  Still, lame.  

After about 30 minutes she starts staring at my eyes.  I'm cool as a cucumber.  She starts staring at my lips.  "Stop."  Smiling.  Blah.  Back to the same vibe x100 for emotional reasons.  Worry becomes man-woman flirting becomes laughing and her making her noises and wanting me to hug her, to hold her.  Eventually I give her a hug, let her be in my arms, she cries into my chest, I rub her head telling her it's okay, it's going to be okay.  Offer to walk us to her office close by.

She takes my arm as we walk.  I'm like "dude...."  Shes like "what this is how we walk.."  BLAH!!! Okay, fuck it.  Full cherish mode engaged.  I miss yous, I love yous, this is hard.  

Linger outside her office, kiss, talk, hug, hold her.  She wont let go of the hugs.  She cries and then smiles and then and on and on.  Shes torn.  She is unsure.  I tell her I dont want to get back together only to break up in 3 months on actually bad terms (as opposed to terms good enough where this is happening).  We still love each other a ton.  She says she doesnt want to string me along if she cant change.  Same.  She says she wants to keep the possibility of changing her mind open, of trying to work on some shit.  I tell her the truth: I need to move on and am going to act that way; simultaneously, if she does change her mind and wants to try to work on her shit, I'm open to talking.  That will change slowly and two weeks from now will have a different outcome than 2 months than 6 months.  We leave it there.

She wants me to know how much she loves me, how hard it is for her, how she feels like shes makign a mistake.  I knew it all already but I suppose its nice to hear, nice to know not to doubt yourself / how you acted in the relationship for any reason.  She, rightfully, puts this stuff on herself.  It's a sad fact that her issues and her belief she couldnt change them (let alone try to work on them) caused our breakup.  In that sense I feel like "I got broken up with" but this is only because I was explicit about NEEDING that change, putting that requirement on us, which led her to her decision.  

It has to be for the best, then.  Mutual in a weird way.  Still in love, still wanting each other, with zero negative feelings or resentment.

A tough way to break up.  And a week later, to randomly bump into each other and spend 3.5 hours together with I love yours and miss yous and hugs and her crying.  Double rough.  

DAMN YOU CHIPOTLE!!!!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The following work week I finally get back into my life flow -- was SO destroyed from before that even Tues-Thurs of the week before I was working but so feverish I dont remember any of it.  Being so sick kinda blunted the sadness of the breakup, I was just in so much physical pain.  Now I'm healthy and my mind is clear and I'm open to my emotions and it's rough.  

But I slowly start to realize things I want, things I need.  Start to think about WHAT I WANT given this transition.  Kinda like just finishing college or a huge project and thinking.. well fuck, now what?  

Things I know:
​-- do not want to date girls / go on dates
-- renewed focus on health, esp since I'm down from 215 to 185 -- need to reassess powerlifting numbers
-- major focus on my business, like super charged
-- go out a few nights a week with zero agenda, zero judgement of my results -- I simply don't even really have the desire to take girls home yet but just want to be out and social
-- daytime direct when I'm inspired because it makes me feel amazing
-- continued focus on self-care / self improvement:  reading, writing, music, meditation, socializing with friends, nutrition and exercise 
-- accept my emotional state day by day, don't fight it.  it's okay to feel sad, mad, extremely happy all in one day.  accept what's happening, the thoughts, the emotions and keep on my shit

Finishing up this post a few days later and man.. it's still hard.  I'm simply going to need a bit of time.  Normally I don't hop on the forums so fast, normally I wait a bit.  Realizing it'll take months for me to be motivated around women in the same was as I was before.  Maybe I won't be motivated by sheer numbers this time around, who knows.  The streaks were fun but I'm looking to up the quality of interpresonal interaction I have in my life and this applies to friends, family, and girls.  

A very to-be-continued story.  But I'll write up what happened on Friday..
-Cat
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Cat

Cat

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Join Date: 12/03/2010 | Posts: 2300

Friday

My only criteria for success is to go out.  Mission accomlished.

Matt281 heads over ~10pm and we bullshit at my new pad.  Still very close to all the bullshit with plenty of great day2 spots for when I'm actually interested in day2s.  Meanwhile it's quiet, safe, and still close to all the action.  And ~$500 cheaper.  Upgrade.  

Head the fuck out to ze barz.

Homie approaches a cute tall brunette, she points to her friend, telling us her name.  I walk up.  Turns out she is absolutely beautiful.  9+ stunner.  HOW BOUT THAT FOR YOUR FIRST APPROACH IN OVER A YEAR?!?!?!!

Whatever.  It's good.  Chat about nonsense.  It's early in the night.  Repeat same questions and fumble the ball.  Get in my head but keep talking.  Wolf-pack of girls and eventually notice I'm losing mine to her friends.  It's ~11pm, so still early.  Eject early, nice to meet yous, peace.  #ificared:id-push-to-keep-in  #butidont #warmupz

Mosey around.  Hit another spot.  Another big set of all girls.  I approach saying "a tall mysterious man is about to hit on you...." and Matt281 turns the corner and taps her.  I wave my hands around like a magician to the other 5 girls, who laugh at my clarvoyant abilities.  #level9wizard

I let the rest know I'll be the resident wingman for the night.  See a necklace with a shot on it and figure some bday run is happening.  They are all 21.  Out of the niceness of my heart I offer to buy bday girl a drink.  I take her to ze bar.  I own, basically.  Zero desire to hit it but want to enjoy myself.  She was cute, prob a 7?  6?  Doesn't matter?  

I explain the myth of Syphisus (sp) to her when someone cuts me off from the bar.  The dude overhears my educational experience and tells the bartender to serve me first.  Justice does exist.  

I'm just having fun.  I tell this girl I'm 27 now and don't know what to do with myself.  I'm old, an old man.  An old, sad man.  "You're not too old..."  Yuuhhh.  

Head back to the friends.  Party times ensue.  Play logistics for later: dancing.  Cute friend and I have eye contact.  Matt281 moves over to his girl.  A different dude walks in.  I give the other cute girl a look.  I tell her I got her, just give me the word.  We are placing bets on how he's going to do.  WE ARE THE PARTY, HE IS TRYING TO GET IN.  Establishing that we were leading them around, that they should follow us, that we were all on the same team, took some talking, some smiling, and not much else.  Matt281 are naturally charismatic at this point so it didn't feel like I "did" anything.  I just wanted to joke around and have a good night.  

We ditch homeboy and go to the dance club.  We get in line.  The girls get tricked into paying to get into a free place.  These two chicks took them away from us to get in, probably realizing we knew they were fucking scamming them.  The 6 girls were from out of town, btw.  They ditch us to get scammed into the bar (which is free), losing the money they needed to get into the dance floor ($5).  We laugh as it happens and go off to find more.  I tell Matt281 to get number.  I'm ambivolent.  

Miss a few for sure, circle back around.  Texting w the girls and they realize they got fucked.  We spot them on the corner.  I walk up with my hands on my cheeks making the universal "crying" motion.  Sadface girls, that's what you get for ditching us.

We take them to a FREE place.  They explain Snapchat stories to me.  #IDONTGIVEAFUCKABOUTSNAPCHAT But I play along.  Matt281 and I take sensual photos, very romantic, much alpha.  Get in.  My cute girl and bday girl head to the bathroom for 45 minutes.  Matt281 grabs his girl and Im assuming he's pulling.  I am losing energy dancing w the remainder.  After enough time, I'm like .. whatever, Matt281 shouldve been able to steal her away by now.  I bounce and head home.

Matt281 texts me the next day copy pasting a text from his girl about how the other bitches were disappointed I left.  Sorry ladies.  


LESSONS: 
-- more hit hit hit
-- had I felt like it, we should've left earlier on the 6 set and tried to find a "fuck me" 2 set
-- stay in longer
-- regulate energy better, was lagging at ~1am

POSITIVES:
-- mission accomplished
-- stunner on the first approach
-- played my own game, e.g. met my own standards for the night, e.g. don't give a fuck about external judgement of the night, just hit my shit
-- still have most of it
-- I'm funny as fuck and much smarter than the average very charismatic, athletic looking dude in the bar
-- I have zero doubt I can get to where I was quicker than ever, just need to get to the place where I want it

The weirdest thing is.. I really don't know what I want.  While it unravels, I'll let you kids know.

Until then, stay classy boys
-Cat
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the_kenny

the_kenny

Respected Member

Join Date: 07/28/2010 | Posts: 482

He's backkkkkkkkk.

Always good to read your stuff. Postive vibe ozzes out of it. oh and f you, you're not old... i'm going on 32 now haha.
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Max is the Christ child that was conceived from the love Tyler and Julien both shared. A bond so deep and true, it could only fabricate the saviour of our cause. Together they made this marvelous modern miracle Max, and finally after enough time he has grown to realise his destiny - Messiah of RSD - saving us from scandal and attack.
He is paying for our sins by taking jabs to the face by angry feminists -- and so it was,  so it shall be.
Praise Tyler, Amen.
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Matt281

Matt281

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Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2199

Good seeing you man. Crazy how after a year off, yeah you're a little rusty, but dude... you still got it ;)
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harrah

harrah

Respected Member

Join Date: 08/29/2012 | Posts: 504

This is true! I often wonder where I could meet cool girls with high-conscious minds whio are into fitness and reading and financial freedom and lifestyle development. Same with guys of course.

I simply don't even really have the desire to take girls home yet but just want to be out and social

The streaks were fun but I'm looking to up the quality of interpresonal interaction I have in my life and this applies to friends, family, and girls.  

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mosh1989

Junior Member

Join Date: 08/19/2013 | Posts: 3

Hey Cat, 

I'm not a poster here, but an avid reader, especially your journal I've started reading you page1 a year ago . I've just finished reading it a month ago . At the last page I was kind of sad, because I tought you were away forever . 

I wake up this morning and I just realise that you're back! Wow I don't know you but I feel like it's a friend who's coming back haha .

I've started my journal, because yours inspire me so much, I've started my business because yours inspire me so much, I've started reading almost all your book suggestion (currently reading Authentic Happiness), I've started strenght training also. . .
There's almost no advice you gave that I haven't done . 

Oh and yeah, DAYGAME . Man daygame for me is a life changing habit, and you're the one behind it who helped me leverage and do it . 

Honestly by every pickup product/video I can say that your journal is THE MOST POWERFULL tool I had. And god damn it . . . it's free unbeleivable!
 

Alright Cat, so those words to say thank you, it's a pleasure reading you, you such an inspiration bro!

Keep it up 

-Rob-

P.s. Sorry for my poor english, I'm from Québec ;)
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