THE FORUMS
Good stuff man, keep it up. Check out my thread about offering value.
www.rsdnation.com/node/175683
www.rsdnation.com/node/175683
__________________
thejourneyisnow.org
"There is no world apart from what you wish, and herein lies your ultimate release.
Change but your mind on what you want to see, and all the world must change accordingly." - A Course in Miracles
thejourneyisnow.org
"There is no world apart from what you wish, and herein lies your ultimate release.
Change but your mind on what you want to see, and all the world must change accordingly." - A Course in Miracles
Look dood, you are being really hard on yourself. To a degree thats a good thing, but you shouldnt hate yourself. You need to love yourself, as gay as that sounds. If your good looking, this is an advantage. If you have more knowledge about game, this is also an advantage. If your good looking then you must get some eye contact from chicks during random day time doings. This should give you motivation and confidence. I personally dont like club game for guys who are extremely chode. You need some level of game to pick up in a club. If you suck socially, run some day game. Run day game like crazy. People are nice, generally speaking. So just talk to people during the daytime. If you talk to hot girls during the daytime, dont go direct, go indirect and try to maintain conversations. Once you get that done for a good while, start doing different things, like maybe going direct daytime, or start doing night game again.
Thanks! Yeah, I have the same thing. When I have really bad night mentally then I am like.. I'm the biggest loser alive, I have no social skills what so ever and the world is a limited place for me. Then the bad mood usually goes away the next day.. and the next evening I am feeling much better and hopeful inside. And I KNOW inside that I AM FCKING CAPABLE of doing it, I have done it before, so.. I can do it again. All my female friends tell me that they don't understand why I have no girl or why I have low self-esteem, because I am sexy/cute/good-looking and I'm funny, smart.
@TapArtist
I feel like daygame would be million times harder because.. in the nightclub.. people are out to socialize and have fun, at day time, they have stuff to do and they are not in the man-girl flirting mindset. My thought is that nightclub is easyer and if I get that handled then I can move on to daygame (witch takes much bigger balls). Yeah, the distractions are bigger in clubs but it's more like a game there. People don't remember that much if somebody screws up.
On new years eve, I fell and got a bad head-wound.. I was in the first-aid station. Way to go to start the new year.. haha.. it's a bit funny actually, I hope it will be an awesome year. I made a wallpaper for my computer where there are couple of affirmations like: I am enough, and I have 10 game.. so I can see them all the time and know them. I forget things too often.
@TapArtist
I feel like daygame would be million times harder because.. in the nightclub.. people are out to socialize and have fun, at day time, they have stuff to do and they are not in the man-girl flirting mindset. My thought is that nightclub is easyer and if I get that handled then I can move on to daygame (witch takes much bigger balls). Yeah, the distractions are bigger in clubs but it's more like a game there. People don't remember that much if somebody screws up.
On new years eve, I fell and got a bad head-wound.. I was in the first-aid station. Way to go to start the new year.. haha.. it's a bit funny actually, I hope it will be an awesome year. I made a wallpaper for my computer where there are couple of affirmations like: I am enough, and I have 10 game.. so I can see them all the time and know them. I forget things too often.
__________________
Keep going man. Social momentum is your bread and butter. I advice you to find a guy that you really like to hang out with who is into cold approach. It will make it even more fun and your results will shoot through the roof, which will give you motivation.
Cheers
Cheers
__________________
thejourneyisnow.org
"There is no world apart from what you wish, and herein lies your ultimate release.
Change but your mind on what you want to see, and all the world must change accordingly." - A Course in Miracles
thejourneyisnow.org
"There is no world apart from what you wish, and herein lies your ultimate release.
Change but your mind on what you want to see, and all the world must change accordingly." - A Course in Miracles
06/01/2011
New year, first night out, still not approaching
To be honest, I didn't want to go out at all today. Even in my sleep I saw that I was in a club and approached two hot girls and they blew me off.. like.. IN A FCKING DREAM? :D Isn't that the happy place where you create your happy fantasy world where cool and interesting shit happens to you.. Teletubbies and shit..
Anyways, I went out with my friend waiting for a deadly boring night to happen. Well.. I did not talk or approach any girls.. (again, wii) but I actually had a pretty good night in the perspective of my happiness. I talked with my friend in a bar for an hour and half and then we went to the club where we also talked like the whole time (usually, we just sit there for 2 hours and then leave, without even talking much). And I was amusing myself and he was not in state.. and in the last half an hour we were in the club.. I managed to get him also talkative and having fun. Yeah.. we sat on the couch that was next to the chode wall of doom. Yeah.. we were total chodes but not as bad chodes as other chodes.. we were actually having fun talking to each-other and laughed pretty hard really often. Then at 3 AM, the club closed and we went home.
This was one of the first nights when I was able to build my state out of really low energy (I didn't want to go out, I was tired, the weather was like shit) to pretty good and fun energy aka.. I HAD WORDS WHAT TO SAY. Still.. I did not approach.. I think if I had approached before the club closed.. I would have had words to say to girls and to self-amuse myself.. and I would have handled the blowouts.
Yeah.. could have, should have, blablabla.
Like.. my mindset is, before going out: gaad, fck I have to go out again, no.. I don't want to, it's shitty weather out there, I will be akward everywhere, I will be bored, I have no money, I don't like the places I go, there are girls I would like to meet but I will not have the balls to approach them and I will go home again depressed. I am looking this thing as a big chore that I HAVE to do and where I will, at the end of the night, fail.
I go out too little.. like.. I didn't go out of my house from 1'st to 4'th of January. It's pretty common for me not to leave my house for like 3 days in the week, and very often the 3 days are like in a row. And I have absolutely no experience at talking to people I don't know before.. (not including the social circle).
I know.. the answer is to go out more and the mindset is calling for doom.. but that's how I feel when I am going out, my whole life.. I have avoided things, school (I do the exams on low grades because my target is not to be good but not to fail), with conversations (I have thought what to say to not look weird or boring.. instead of saying things that I think are cool) etc.. My whole life I have been told that I am less than everybody else.. I know that it's not true now.. but just saying to myself: I am enough.. I don't believe it deep inside I guess..
What next: to ensure myself that I really AM enough, after that forget about myself and just look at the world and self-amuse to build the state, give myself the permit to be shitty at things. Believe I have things to say, have 100% belief in it.
The good: I went out even though I didn't want to, I built my state.. slowly but still.
New year, first night out, still not approaching
To be honest, I didn't want to go out at all today. Even in my sleep I saw that I was in a club and approached two hot girls and they blew me off.. like.. IN A FCKING DREAM? :D Isn't that the happy place where you create your happy fantasy world where cool and interesting shit happens to you.. Teletubbies and shit..
Anyways, I went out with my friend waiting for a deadly boring night to happen. Well.. I did not talk or approach any girls.. (again, wii) but I actually had a pretty good night in the perspective of my happiness. I talked with my friend in a bar for an hour and half and then we went to the club where we also talked like the whole time (usually, we just sit there for 2 hours and then leave, without even talking much). And I was amusing myself and he was not in state.. and in the last half an hour we were in the club.. I managed to get him also talkative and having fun. Yeah.. we sat on the couch that was next to the chode wall of doom. Yeah.. we were total chodes but not as bad chodes as other chodes.. we were actually having fun talking to each-other and laughed pretty hard really often. Then at 3 AM, the club closed and we went home.
This was one of the first nights when I was able to build my state out of really low energy (I didn't want to go out, I was tired, the weather was like shit) to pretty good and fun energy aka.. I HAD WORDS WHAT TO SAY. Still.. I did not approach.. I think if I had approached before the club closed.. I would have had words to say to girls and to self-amuse myself.. and I would have handled the blowouts.
Yeah.. could have, should have, blablabla.
Like.. my mindset is, before going out: gaad, fck I have to go out again, no.. I don't want to, it's shitty weather out there, I will be akward everywhere, I will be bored, I have no money, I don't like the places I go, there are girls I would like to meet but I will not have the balls to approach them and I will go home again depressed. I am looking this thing as a big chore that I HAVE to do and where I will, at the end of the night, fail.
I go out too little.. like.. I didn't go out of my house from 1'st to 4'th of January. It's pretty common for me not to leave my house for like 3 days in the week, and very often the 3 days are like in a row. And I have absolutely no experience at talking to people I don't know before.. (not including the social circle).
I know.. the answer is to go out more and the mindset is calling for doom.. but that's how I feel when I am going out, my whole life.. I have avoided things, school (I do the exams on low grades because my target is not to be good but not to fail), with conversations (I have thought what to say to not look weird or boring.. instead of saying things that I think are cool) etc.. My whole life I have been told that I am less than everybody else.. I know that it's not true now.. but just saying to myself: I am enough.. I don't believe it deep inside I guess..
What next: to ensure myself that I really AM enough, after that forget about myself and just look at the world and self-amuse to build the state, give myself the permit to be shitty at things. Believe I have things to say, have 100% belief in it.
The good: I went out even though I didn't want to, I built my state.. slowly but still.
__________________
I feel where you are coming from man.
I advice you to jump into the fucking ocean man.
The first time it is cold for fifteen minutes max, the next time five, the third time 30 seconds.
You get my point. You have nothing to loose from putting your personality on the line. But do not be hard on yourself, it took me several months to get past approaching anxiety for good, but let me tell you when are past it things will start to feel good. Really good. You will start to realize what 'you are enough' really means on a day by day basis.
Keep going.
I advice you to jump into the fucking ocean man.
The first time it is cold for fifteen minutes max, the next time five, the third time 30 seconds.
You get my point. You have nothing to loose from putting your personality on the line. But do not be hard on yourself, it took me several months to get past approaching anxiety for good, but let me tell you when are past it things will start to feel good. Really good. You will start to realize what 'you are enough' really means on a day by day basis.
Keep going.
__________________
thejourneyisnow.org
"There is no world apart from what you wish, and herein lies your ultimate release.
Change but your mind on what you want to see, and all the world must change accordingly." - A Course in Miracles
thejourneyisnow.org
"There is no world apart from what you wish, and herein lies your ultimate release.
Change but your mind on what you want to see, and all the world must change accordingly." - A Course in Miracles
Hey Man,
Have a read of Alex's artcile on "the first 2 hours doesn't count" and see what you think. It resonated with me and I have implemented it over the past week or so and for me it works very well.
Re: Daygame, from my perspective any everyday situation offers the potential to just chat to random people, build reference points and just see where it takes you. Whether its at the supermarket, on bus or just asking for directions etc, all helps build conversation skills and builds reference points which you can then apply to going out.
Have fun mate!
Emjay
Have a read of Alex's artcile on "the first 2 hours doesn't count" and see what you think. It resonated with me and I have implemented it over the past week or so and for me it works very well.
Re: Daygame, from my perspective any everyday situation offers the potential to just chat to random people, build reference points and just see where it takes you. Whether its at the supermarket, on bus or just asking for directions etc, all helps build conversation skills and builds reference points which you can then apply to going out.
Have fun mate!
Emjay
__________________
"Opportunities multiply as they are seized"
Sun Tzu , Art of War
RSD BOOTCAMP ALUMNI, ALEXANDER 2010
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/147805 : My Journal thread.
Sun Tzu , Art of War
RSD BOOTCAMP ALUMNI, ALEXANDER 2010
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/147805 : My Journal thread.
I went to play football (soccer) today and had like a 2 minute conversation about euro's with an older lady there (I wanted to change 2 euros for cents). Nothing special but I guess.. something.. a human interaction.
__________________
08/01/2011
Out with my friends
I went out with my friends again. Nothing to talk about today actually, except the fact that I was pretty good verbally. Like.. I felt relaxed and could talk more sincerely with my friends and more about things I was thinking about them at that moment. I didn't approach. I feel like if I keep up the momentum and the chill vibe.. I could be getting somewhere.
Out with my friends
I went out with my friends again. Nothing to talk about today actually, except the fact that I was pretty good verbally. Like.. I felt relaxed and could talk more sincerely with my friends and more about things I was thinking about them at that moment. I didn't approach. I feel like if I keep up the momentum and the chill vibe.. I could be getting somewhere.
__________________
Me-vs-Me
Respected Member
Join Date: 05/18/2010 | Posts: 834
If I approach and shit goes down bad.. I should still be happy because I am on my path to my goal. As long as I am on the path and doing things to reach my goals.. I am happy.
The second thing I did wrong was that I was not out there to offer myself.. when I approached.. I really wasn't thinking "All the girls love me, I have 10 game, I am here to offer myself.. and myself is awesome, by offering myself.. I am offering value" All I was thinking was "fck, what things should I talk about to make this girl stay, cmon brain, give me some words, anything.. fck.. I don't want this girl to leave, fck.. she left.. I am socially retarded fck"
The third thing is that I really have no power over outcome.. going for it is all I can control and beating myself down because I did what I had to is plain wrong.
I am much more positive now :) I know I have THE man in me.. I just have to believe it also.