THE FORUMS
*JUST A QUICK NOTE IN ESTONIAN TO MEVSME* :PP
mwahaha..väga hull - ma nagu äsja leidsin selle foorumi täitsa lambist netis ringi tsillides. vaatasin oba.. mingi sebimis-teemad..oba..mingi field repordid..oba mingi eesti patsan..mida vittu..:DDD
reaalne aktivist oled ikke, et viitsid naisi taga ajada niiviisi & kuhugi foorumisse veel postitada :D Üldiselt minu meelest nagu Eestis on tutti suht kerge saada - lihtsalt sebi plekki & krdi.. have fun...mingi lohakaid on vasemale, paremale xDDDD
muide Tallinn/Tartu?
CHEERS PPL!
mwahaha..väga hull - ma nagu äsja leidsin selle foorumi täitsa lambist netis ringi tsillides. vaatasin oba.. mingi sebimis-teemad..oba..mingi field repordid..oba mingi eesti patsan..mida vittu..:DDD
reaalne aktivist oled ikke, et viitsid naisi taga ajada niiviisi & kuhugi foorumisse veel postitada :D Üldiselt minu meelest nagu Eestis on tutti suht kerge saada - lihtsalt sebi plekki & krdi.. have fun...mingi lohakaid on vasemale, paremale xDDDD
muide Tallinn/Tartu?
CHEERS PPL!
@Vasja
Haha, eks igale inimesele oma, kõik mehed pole sündinud sellise julguse ja oskustega :D Tartu muidu.
25/02/2011
At a social meeting
So tonight one of my acquaintance invited me to a sauna party at her place. I went there and it was 4 girls and 8 guys party. One girl was my friend who I have no chance with, other one (the one who invited me) had a bf there, one was kinda okey.. maybe 7 and one was not my cup of tea. To be honest, I was not that motivated tonight so I just had a social time with people. The two single girls seemed to like me though.. but I did not try to get with them because I didn't like them that much. There was one guy who was really friendly towards me.. it's pretty unique to have some dude who is that friendly to me.. so I liked it.. I don't think he's gay.. didn't seem so.
I'm actually cheating myself.. going on this social event and actually avoiding going to bars or clubs. Avoiding putting myself in akward situations. I feel a lot of pressure when going out.. I have to reaffirm myself that it's fun and awesome. Ok.. I have tomorrow.. fck.. have to get more optimistic again, read the Brad article about total self love. Yeah, I'm gonna start doing it more intence. I have to love myself.. on a PLANET scale!
The good: I went to a place that had foreign people.
Things I learned: have to completely love myself, DO NOT be affraid to fully express myself (I was again tonight).
Haha, eks igale inimesele oma, kõik mehed pole sündinud sellise julguse ja oskustega :D Tartu muidu.
25/02/2011
At a social meeting
So tonight one of my acquaintance invited me to a sauna party at her place. I went there and it was 4 girls and 8 guys party. One girl was my friend who I have no chance with, other one (the one who invited me) had a bf there, one was kinda okey.. maybe 7 and one was not my cup of tea. To be honest, I was not that motivated tonight so I just had a social time with people. The two single girls seemed to like me though.. but I did not try to get with them because I didn't like them that much. There was one guy who was really friendly towards me.. it's pretty unique to have some dude who is that friendly to me.. so I liked it.. I don't think he's gay.. didn't seem so.
I'm actually cheating myself.. going on this social event and actually avoiding going to bars or clubs. Avoiding putting myself in akward situations. I feel a lot of pressure when going out.. I have to reaffirm myself that it's fun and awesome. Ok.. I have tomorrow.. fck.. have to get more optimistic again, read the Brad article about total self love. Yeah, I'm gonna start doing it more intence. I have to love myself.. on a PLANET scale!
The good: I went to a place that had foreign people.
Things I learned: have to completely love myself, DO NOT be affraid to fully express myself (I was again tonight).
__________________
26/02/2011
I like rocked.. and I like.. sucked
I went out today to a bar with my three friends. I self-ammused the shit out of myself and talked the crazyest shit ever and they all laughed all the time. One of my friends even asked where does all that crap come from? :D Anyways, we were sitting in a table and then one older guy came to our table and started talking about beer. Like.. how it's made and shit.. the conversation and facts were interesting.. but.. we are not out to educate ourselves.. we are out to have fun.. and I was bored to death when he was talking. Kinda reminded me MM method, DHV story, talk passionately about something.. but then I realized.. ok.. this guy is passionate about this topic.. but.. it's not fun. When it's not fun.. it's just not the right thing to talk about at party time.
After that we went to a club. It was really packed today. I was wearing cool clothes today and I felt sexy, I got eye-contact and it even more boosted my self-esteem (I know, horrible.. I don't like that my self-esteem is boosted by the number I have eye-contact during the night). I don't know what is correct.. did I get eye-contact because I looked cool or because I felt cool and projected that out.. or were there just that type of girls today that liked my type of guy. Anyways, I danced the shit out of myself with my friends. I like dancing crazy, other men in club don't dance as crazy as me and I don't know.. maybe it's weird the way I dance but.. fck it.. I want to have fun and dancing like that gives me fun. Yee..I did not approach again. Fuck me! God.. Like.. I don't know what to do, on shitty nights I don't even dare to look girls into their eyes and on good nights when girls are checking me out.. I STILL can't approach. That is just stupid. Like what do I have to loose? Nothing.. and still.. at the club it seems like I could loose an imaginable kingdom.
The good: I went out, I could self-ammuse, I felt sexy, I actually had a pretty good time.
Things I learned: That in Russia the beer is not alcohol but food product. Huge self-love is a MUST, I have to be willing to give up kingdoms :D
I like rocked.. and I like.. sucked
I went out today to a bar with my three friends. I self-ammused the shit out of myself and talked the crazyest shit ever and they all laughed all the time. One of my friends even asked where does all that crap come from? :D Anyways, we were sitting in a table and then one older guy came to our table and started talking about beer. Like.. how it's made and shit.. the conversation and facts were interesting.. but.. we are not out to educate ourselves.. we are out to have fun.. and I was bored to death when he was talking. Kinda reminded me MM method, DHV story, talk passionately about something.. but then I realized.. ok.. this guy is passionate about this topic.. but.. it's not fun. When it's not fun.. it's just not the right thing to talk about at party time.
After that we went to a club. It was really packed today. I was wearing cool clothes today and I felt sexy, I got eye-contact and it even more boosted my self-esteem (I know, horrible.. I don't like that my self-esteem is boosted by the number I have eye-contact during the night). I don't know what is correct.. did I get eye-contact because I looked cool or because I felt cool and projected that out.. or were there just that type of girls today that liked my type of guy. Anyways, I danced the shit out of myself with my friends. I like dancing crazy, other men in club don't dance as crazy as me and I don't know.. maybe it's weird the way I dance but.. fck it.. I want to have fun and dancing like that gives me fun. Yee..I did not approach again. Fuck me! God.. Like.. I don't know what to do, on shitty nights I don't even dare to look girls into their eyes and on good nights when girls are checking me out.. I STILL can't approach. That is just stupid. Like what do I have to loose? Nothing.. and still.. at the club it seems like I could loose an imaginable kingdom.
The good: I went out, I could self-ammuse, I felt sexy, I actually had a pretty good time.
Things I learned: That in Russia the beer is not alcohol but food product. Huge self-love is a MUST, I have to be willing to give up kingdoms :D
__________________
03/03/2011
I was out with my friend
Went out with my friend to a bar. I met there one of my fold friend who was with her cousin. They were about 5 and 6,5 on the looks scale. We talked with them couple of hours after what me and my friend went to the club where we just sat and listened to music.
I haven't felt good, optimistic a couple of days now. I blame the computer games in that. They take away my energy and make my life seem so boring, repetitive and meaningless. Today at the club, I felt a bit more optimism in myself when I looked at the girls dancing, felt like the spring is coming and the people there are having fun. I miss the feeling of just watching people into their eyes and not being afraid/thinking about anything. I miss the feeling that it gives me, a feeling of freedom. I didn't get any eye-contact at all, that's pretty sad. Not much I can say about tonight. Nothing is gonna change if I don't approach.
The good: I went out, I talked with two girls I already knew.
Things I learned: I need to work on getting more self-beliefe in myself, read the affirmations and watch the Jeffy Show, fuck sake just approach.
I was out with my friend
Went out with my friend to a bar. I met there one of my fold friend who was with her cousin. They were about 5 and 6,5 on the looks scale. We talked with them couple of hours after what me and my friend went to the club where we just sat and listened to music.
I haven't felt good, optimistic a couple of days now. I blame the computer games in that. They take away my energy and make my life seem so boring, repetitive and meaningless. Today at the club, I felt a bit more optimism in myself when I looked at the girls dancing, felt like the spring is coming and the people there are having fun. I miss the feeling of just watching people into their eyes and not being afraid/thinking about anything. I miss the feeling that it gives me, a feeling of freedom. I didn't get any eye-contact at all, that's pretty sad. Not much I can say about tonight. Nothing is gonna change if I don't approach.
The good: I went out, I talked with two girls I already knew.
Things I learned: I need to work on getting more self-beliefe in myself, read the affirmations and watch the Jeffy Show, fuck sake just approach.
__________________
03/03/2011
I was out with my friend
Went out with my friend to a bar. I met there one of my fold friend who was with her cousin. They were about 5 and 6,5 on the looks scale. We talked with them couple of hours after what me and my friend went to the club where we just sat and listened to music.
I haven't felt good, optimistic a couple of days now. I blame the computer games in that. They take away my energy and make my life seem so boring, repetitive and meaningless. Today at the club, I felt a bit more optimism in myself when I looked at the girls dancing, felt like the spring is coming and the people there are having fun. I miss the feeling of just watching people into their eyes and not being afraid/thinking about anything. I miss the feeling that it gives me, a feeling of freedom. I didn't get any eye-contact at all, that's pretty sad. Not much I can say about tonight. Nothing is gonna change if I don't approach.
The good: I went out, I talked with two girls I already knew.
Things I learned: I need to work on getting more self-beliefe in myself, read the affirmations and watch the Jeffy Show, fuck sake just approach.
It's always good to just go out, cause I think your brain is getting rewired, it gets more used to being in those situations the more you do it. And try out meditation if you haven't already, it can help you feel better. And consider your diet, eating healthy can only help. I was out with my friend
Went out with my friend to a bar. I met there one of my fold friend who was with her cousin. They were about 5 and 6,5 on the looks scale. We talked with them couple of hours after what me and my friend went to the club where we just sat and listened to music.
I haven't felt good, optimistic a couple of days now. I blame the computer games in that. They take away my energy and make my life seem so boring, repetitive and meaningless. Today at the club, I felt a bit more optimism in myself when I looked at the girls dancing, felt like the spring is coming and the people there are having fun. I miss the feeling of just watching people into their eyes and not being afraid/thinking about anything. I miss the feeling that it gives me, a feeling of freedom. I didn't get any eye-contact at all, that's pretty sad. Not much I can say about tonight. Nothing is gonna change if I don't approach.
The good: I went out, I talked with two girls I already knew.
Things I learned: I need to work on getting more self-beliefe in myself, read the affirmations and watch the Jeffy Show, fuck sake just approach.
If you want to do approaches, I think you should try having a standard opener for the situation. For instance, the other night my wing and I were opening girls asking if they knew what time the band was playing. It worked pretty well for a while. Ask a girl if there are drink specials. Ask a girl if she likes the song playing. Ask a girl if the rain will continue for a while. Ask a girl where she bought her shirt. Or tell girls stuff. Hey I love your style, your whole outfit with those shoes, you're the best dressed person in here (my wing's opener). Get what I mean? A goto opener for the night may be really helpful.
__________________
DavePower
Draw state from within.
Draw state from within.
You can do it. I stopped drinking and now I'm back to having trouble approaching. Hopefully I will do an approach tonight.
You can do it! Go out with wings when you're sober, play the veto game, pump each other up. __________________
DavePower
Draw state from within.
Draw state from within.
MvM,
You are incredibly consistent. Loving your shit, keep it up.
I've found that over the last 4 months I've literally just changed HOW I LIVE and what I spend my time doing. A big part of my progression has been just getting more people in my life for longer periods of the day.
This is "the logistical definition of becoming a more social person" (tm Cat): spend more time in the presence of others.
I'll be 'alone' in the sense that I'm not there with someone but I'll be WITH everyone wherever I am, in the sense that I'm simply around people.
Now I opt out of playing computer games and I'm just in a cafe chilling. I'm doing a new hobby with a friend (postering). I'm wandering the streets asking hoes what time it be. Whatever it is, I'm socializing more.
Maybe that frame of mind will help you.
I love reading your posts and seeing your progress man, keep it up, you're going to be a totally different guy in six months if you remain consistent about challenging yourself.
-Cat
You are incredibly consistent. Loving your shit, keep it up.
I've found that over the last 4 months I've literally just changed HOW I LIVE and what I spend my time doing. A big part of my progression has been just getting more people in my life for longer periods of the day.
This is "the logistical definition of becoming a more social person" (tm Cat): spend more time in the presence of others.
I'll be 'alone' in the sense that I'm not there with someone but I'll be WITH everyone wherever I am, in the sense that I'm simply around people.
Now I opt out of playing computer games and I'm just in a cafe chilling. I'm doing a new hobby with a friend (postering). I'm wandering the streets asking hoes what time it be. Whatever it is, I'm socializing more.
Maybe that frame of mind will help you.
I love reading your posts and seeing your progress man, keep it up, you're going to be a totally different guy in six months if you remain consistent about challenging yourself.
-Cat
__________________
My Field Reports: Cat 3.0 -- "And Then There Was Bootcamp. And It Was Good"
04/03/2011
I was rejected
Went out to a karaoke night with my friends. There were 3 hot young chick sitting with them when I arrived (friends of my friend). They were all like giggeling and checking me out etc. I felt it, every word I told they laughed and they wanted to touch me and so on. I was self-amusing a lot and then.. at some point they just lost interest and didn't want to even look at me. I felt really bad.. I did the things the community has tought me, I was being ME.. I was self-amusing, having fun and they just lost attraction. It's bad because.. I feel like they rejected me, my personality.. a thing I have worked so hard on and today I felt I was pretty good and ok at being myself.
Then at some point they went dancing and I wanted to join them.. they danced a little and then just left. It's one of the worst feelings ever when I go on dance floor to dance and then girls just leave.. to me it feels like super akward and I feel really low value. Like.. ok.. I am alone now, there was nobody else dancing also so I just like left the dancefloor.
Today I got more eye-contact but it doesn't matter. I feel that I have fucked up so many times when girl is attracted at the beginning and then just.. out of nowhere, when I am not even being needy or stuff.. they loose interest and make me look like I am chasing them.
I know I have to tell myself that I am the shit and other good things.. it's hard when I fail all the time, fck up the situations when girls are attracted.. I haven't kiss a girl for a half year now. All the interactions in facebook or IRL, at first the girls are attracted and then just.. they don't want to talk to anymore and frame the situation unconsiously like I am chasing them desperately (atleast it seams like that to me).
One thing is to think.. ok, it was a shitty night, but I am still the shit.. Other thing, and harder one, is to REALLY believe it when I have no fcking success and girls who are in the start attracted just loose their attraction.
I had a chance to go to a apartment party with my friend and he said there are a lot of girls but the clock was 3AM and I had no mood anymore.
The most I feel sad is that I WAS being myself tonight, I WAS self-amusing and they rejected me because of that..
The good: I went out, I got some eye-contact, pretty girls were attracted to my looks, I atleast tried to talk to the girls
Things I learned: I am sick and tired of failing (actually, I knew it all the time, I didn't learn that tonight), maybe I should be colder to girls I like.. then again, if I am colder then they would leave before I could escalate.
I was rejected
Went out to a karaoke night with my friends. There were 3 hot young chick sitting with them when I arrived (friends of my friend). They were all like giggeling and checking me out etc. I felt it, every word I told they laughed and they wanted to touch me and so on. I was self-amusing a lot and then.. at some point they just lost interest and didn't want to even look at me. I felt really bad.. I did the things the community has tought me, I was being ME.. I was self-amusing, having fun and they just lost attraction. It's bad because.. I feel like they rejected me, my personality.. a thing I have worked so hard on and today I felt I was pretty good and ok at being myself.
Then at some point they went dancing and I wanted to join them.. they danced a little and then just left. It's one of the worst feelings ever when I go on dance floor to dance and then girls just leave.. to me it feels like super akward and I feel really low value. Like.. ok.. I am alone now, there was nobody else dancing also so I just like left the dancefloor.
Today I got more eye-contact but it doesn't matter. I feel that I have fucked up so many times when girl is attracted at the beginning and then just.. out of nowhere, when I am not even being needy or stuff.. they loose interest and make me look like I am chasing them.
I know I have to tell myself that I am the shit and other good things.. it's hard when I fail all the time, fck up the situations when girls are attracted.. I haven't kiss a girl for a half year now. All the interactions in facebook or IRL, at first the girls are attracted and then just.. they don't want to talk to anymore and frame the situation unconsiously like I am chasing them desperately (atleast it seams like that to me).
One thing is to think.. ok, it was a shitty night, but I am still the shit.. Other thing, and harder one, is to REALLY believe it when I have no fcking success and girls who are in the start attracted just loose their attraction.
I had a chance to go to a apartment party with my friend and he said there are a lot of girls but the clock was 3AM and I had no mood anymore.
The most I feel sad is that I WAS being myself tonight, I WAS self-amusing and they rejected me because of that..
The good: I went out, I got some eye-contact, pretty girls were attracted to my looks, I atleast tried to talk to the girls
Things I learned: I am sick and tired of failing (actually, I knew it all the time, I didn't learn that tonight), maybe I should be colder to girls I like.. then again, if I am colder then they would leave before I could escalate.
__________________
Thank you all for the support. I don't think I would need any standard opener, I could just go and say: hey, I'm Me-vs-Me. The "what to say" part doesn't scare me that much.. I feel it's more about.. how I feel about myself, do I feel that all the girls want me or I am a skinny little boy and no girl even looks towards me.
Yeah, I agree with you Cat, I should defenetely be more among people.
Yeah, I agree with you Cat, I should defenetely be more among people.
__________________
dave7
Trusted Member
Join Date: 09/27/2010 | Posts: 1916
Draw state from within.