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December 5th, 2016
ME-VS-ME JOURNAL TO BEING ME
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Me-vs-Me

Me-vs-Me

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Join Date: 05/18/2010 | Posts: 1368

Ok, little about me: I'm 21 years old, I discovered PUA 2,5 years ago. Back then it was David DeAngelo, M3, Mehow etc. I started learning RSD method for about year ago or so.  Anyways, I have gotten laid once, I have had no real relationships. I'm above average looking, skinny, tall. And my penis is not that big.. compared to elephants.  During these 2,5 years I have not made ANY cold approaches. It has driven me crazy. My social life is almost non-existing, so.. only hope for me to find girls is through cold approaches.

25/11/2010

had a university party tonight in a nightclub. I went alone, I had one-two people I knew there and I don't talk to one of them that much. On the way there, I repeated myself all the advice I needed. I told myself to have no expetations, to have fun, to stay in set even if there is silence aka.. go to the set and try to get blown out by not trying or caring about the conversation, maybe one of the most important parts: TRUST MYSELF and I HAVE SELF-ESTEEM THAT I AM BORN WITH.

I went in and was in positive mood. I went on the second floor and immediately sat down to a table where I knew one person (don't talk to him, only when I am very drunk). And engaged him, there were two guys and 2 girls in the table. Another dude I did not know engaged me and we talked and he bought me a beer (nice, free beer). He was friendly to me and I felt a bit sorry for him because he was introverted guy, or it seemed that way to me. The entire night, when I saw him, he was sitting alone or being quiet in that table.

Then I moved on, to the next table that had five girls and one guy in it. The hottest girl was sitting on his bf lap. The other girls were.. about 6-7/10 scale. Not my type, except the hotter one with his bf. Then another girl came to the table who was a birthday girl. We chatted there and first, when I went in and introduced myself, everybody were really hyped. Then.. I talked a bit and they were hyped, then.. I was a bit too cocky and it went a bit bad.. I sat there.. being quiet.. and I thought.. ok, I guess this is the moment when I will sit quietly, not care about the group and let myself to be blown out. And.. then.. I got rocking again, basically.. every sentence I said, they laughed really hard. It is beautiful to hear, when the girls are talking and I say a word, and they immediately all shut up and listen to me. AND.. I left the table. They said "are we too boring or smth like that?"

I went downstairs and saw two chick sitting, I went in, introduced myself and sat down. They were eating it up like really hardly, one girl especially, other one not like 100% but ok level. When I said I will check other people, they said "are we too boring?" Not in an angry way but.. like.. you are so high value, don't leave us.

Then.. I saw my friend I knew already, I asked.. why are you sitting here.. and.. I didn't want to move the set.. but they were.. ok.. let's go then.. I was like.. wtf? I just managed to move a set of 4-5 people, awesome and then.. the girls from upstairs saw me and.. boom.. 6 more girls sat down the table just because of me, how awesome is that Then I just bulshitted with them and I managed to get the hot chick into me, I don't know if like.. sexual into me, but.. she was like very interested in talking to me and stuff. I amog her boyfriend BIG TIME. He was not there and I actually didn't want to amog him but just.. the amog sentence was so fcking funny that I just had to say it. They all bursted out laughing when I did it and then.. the hot girl asked me to sit on her lap... I did it just for the fun of it. We were talking that his bf was his lapdog, a little chiaua. Then.. I got bored and left and they, again, third time when I left a set.. said: "are we boring?" Like.. was I really that awesome or was it like a shittest? I felt I was awesome.. that's why haha.

Then, the club got open to all the people and I taped myself to the one group my friend was in. I did it because I was afraid to approach people who were not part of the university. When I approached the university people, it was easier because I had a reason and a topic to talk about. "What year are you, what is your major" But I was afraid that the other people, not part of the university, I have nothing to talk about. I know it's a stupid thing but..still. And it is so refreshing that when I went on the dancefloor.. some hot chick were checking me out. Like.. when I am usually out then I rely ALL and EVERYTHING on my looks, I constantly am playing this tough sexy guy and I am LOOKING for validation from girls that they look towards me and think I am handsome. But tonight, I didn't even think about my looks and when some chicks DID look at me, it was like.. woah.. why are they looking at me? Nice.. What I did good? It was a super night and it far surpassed my expetations + I DID NOT DRINK ALCOHOL. One bottle of 0,33 beer but that's it.

What I need to do next: get physical, there was no touching, intent, approach hot girls also (I approached medium and not that pretty girls tonight), approach girls that are not part of the university (well.. it was one time party so, next time, there will not be people from the university).

Questions: what should be the reason for myself to approach girls that are not from my university? Like.. something silly: I am allowed to approached them because they have a leg. It's the common thing we share
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#1
Me-vs-Me

Me-vs-Me

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Join Date: 05/18/2010 | Posts: 1368

 26/11/2010
BLOWOUT!
Me and my friend went to this bar and it was super slow, like.. there were only 4-5 little groups in that place. We sat down and I saw two girls sitting at the next table. They were not hot but ok looking. So, I went there, introduced myself and sat down. Basically.. it turned out that one was in University and was getting her doctors degree and her friend was almost as smart. They were cold to ALL the things I said. I just could not make them laugh, they were really cold and stuff. I tried to plow as fcking much as I could, I just sat there and talked and talked and talked and at some point it seemed that it was picking up but no.. it fell of again. Basically.. they left the bar because of us :D 

Pretty harsh set, compared to last night where everybody fcking loved me. So, we also left that place because it was basically empty. We went to another bar that is usually like really busy.. and.. it sucked.. we went in, there weren't that much crowd and I didn't find any attractive girls. So, we bought water and sat down. I should have went and started talking to people but my energy was really off tonight, mostly because of that blowout I guess. I really didn't expected that :D Anyways, we just sat in that bar for 2 hours and did nothing, didn't almost even talk to each-other, my friend's energy was like super low and he just seemed not happy. So.. finally, when we decided to leave, some more decent looking girls arrived but it was already too late, we were going.

So, that is the second field report in a row (record).

What to do next time? Not care about others opinions, feel free, talk to more people, yeah, the most important would be to get in state..  
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#2
im_alexjx_fuckyea

im_alexjx_fuckyea

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Join Date: 06/10/2010 | Posts: 181

nice you made a journal keep this updatedthumbs up 
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beasting---Beasting is reducing your reaction time to ZERO. You just fucking approach without thought or consequence, constantly
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#3
Me-vs-Me

Me-vs-Me

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Join Date: 05/18/2010 | Posts: 1368

 27/11/2010
I pussyed out today. 

Went out with my friend. We went to the same bar as yesterday (with another friend). There was a lot more people there today. We sat down and I bought myself water (I have now been out three nights a row without drinking). I was self-amusing as much as I could and it was actually going pretty well. BUT.. I did not approach any girls today. First I didn't find hot enough girls to approach, then a group came but there was no seat for me to sit down if I would have gone and started a convo with them and then I found a million more blabla things why I can't approach them. 

Another two friends joined us and we were just talking. Although.. I actually did amuse myself a lot tonight and was generally not bored actually.. I did not approach. 
I will go out tomorrow also (on Saturday) with my two friends (girls). I want to approach tomorrow. I don't want to go back into that horrid rot where I don't even dare to look people into their eyes. 

I guess I as still a bit worried about that yesterday blowout, it took away my courage a bit :D
Good things: I was able to amuse myself and I did go out. 

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#4
Me-vs-Me

Me-vs-Me

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Join Date: 05/18/2010 | Posts: 1368

 28/11/2010
Went out with friends, didn't approach

Ok, I don't go out with friends anymore.. or if I do then with very certain friends. I just feel myself too safe to approach, like.. damit, fck. I was able to approach on Thursday and Friday. Fck this, I can do this again. Just.. I have to approach, can't think myself out of this one anymore. This one blowout took away all my confidence? Like.. wtf? Why? I am not a boring person, I can be funny. Today, I was trying to self-amuse myself as much as I could..like in every fcking possible ways and all my other friends are just quiet and being fcking boring. So.. I get really bored with them. Is it me or is it them? 

I know that I should be the party etc but cmon.. I can't take ALL the fcking communication on myself. Ok, I will not go out on Sunday because there is nobody out at that night and I am not sure about Monday and Tuesday also. Fck it, where are all the people? I have to go to clubs, on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. 

I don't want to go back into that "Am I good looking enough for her to like me" mind patterns when I am out. Fck, I'm capable for better things.
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#5
im_alexjx_fuckyea

im_alexjx_fuckyea

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Join Date: 06/10/2010 | Posts: 181

have you tried beasting?(points to my sig)  btw try and find internal energy rather then external energy u dont gotta be the party either just dont be the chode the more pressure u put on yourself to do sumthing more u cant(hope you know what i mean its like getting angry then drinking alchohol is has a negative effect) and resistence=persistence... everytime something bad happens also dont beat yourself up  and stop getting water drink b4 u go out .... or thats another excuss you have to fight against
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Im in the Middle of Florida being Awesome


Shattering my reality My Journal 

Find em Fuck em Forget em™

I am learning all the time. The tombstone will be my diploma. ~Eartha Kitt

~~Act like you been their before~~
beasting---Beasting is reducing your reaction time to ZERO. You just fucking approach without thought or consequence, constantly
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#6
Me-vs-Me

Me-vs-Me

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Join Date: 05/18/2010 | Posts: 1368

 I want to do this thing sober. I feel that I am cheating myself if I approach when I am drunk. I KNOW I can be fun without alcohol. Also, I'm really low on money. Beasting sounds good. When I was out Wednesday and everybody loved me, I got a boost. And when I went out Thursday I thought that everybody would also love me on that day. I know it's extremely stupid to rely my approach confidence on the outcome of the last set approached. But if I got a blowout on Thursday then I started to think again "what will I talk about when I approach" Which is stupid.. I don't want to go back into 3 weeks cycle of thinking and lowering my confidence. I have done it already for 2,5 years, I want to change now. 
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#7
Me-vs-Me

Me-vs-Me

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Join Date: 05/18/2010 | Posts: 1368

 02/12/2010
Social grouping

I went to a pub today to meet up with my friend (girl and some of her classmates). Well.. there were a LOT of her classmates there and most of them were very hot chicks. We drank (although I said I will not drink, I still drunk today but not that I was wasted or something, just enough). I saw that the hottest girl of them all was keeping eye-contact with me. That happened throughout the night. We went to nightclub at midnight. From there one, I have never had that much fun dancing in my life before. I was dancing like 3 hours with one of the hottest girls in the club. Throughout the night.. I was close to the hottest chick and I felt that it was really my turn to take action but I just DID NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO :S:S It was the dance floor game and I really don't know how to dance sexy with a girl. There were two guys who came in and wanted to game our girls, they were good.. good looking, good dancers, having fun, befriended everyone, AMOGE'd me well with body-language. Our girls did not take the bate. So they finally quit (after about one hour). I have no idea if I was delusional or something but I really thought that the hottest chick was into me. I just did not know how to escalate on the dance floor. I want to look up her on the Facebook and add her. 

Good things: went out, had fun
Bad things: I had to drink alcohol to loosen up and I did not close. No cold-approaches also. Ozzie.. just close, fcking close. 


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#8
Me-vs-Me

Me-vs-Me

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Join Date: 05/18/2010 | Posts: 1368

 05/12/2010
Shall I kill myself?

It is a really good question.. I drank a lot today, I was in really good state when I arrived in club. And then.. I just did not approach any girls. I am a fcking fag. I thought about suicide many times today. I don't think I would do it ever, but.. I don't see the point of living also. If I continue to be a fag and not approach anybody, I have no reason to live. Really.. why should I live if I don't take advantage of the possiblilties presented to me? My life purpous is not to get a job and die at the age of 94 and remember my life as a fcking pointless being. 

I don't know, I don't want to kill myself but.. what is the point of living if I am such a fag that can't even approach girls when he is fcking utterly drunk? I don't like to be dissapointed in myself but.. why? why am I such a fag? 
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#9
im_alexjx_fuckyea

im_alexjx_fuckyea

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Join Date: 06/10/2010 | Posts: 181

just approach ur putting it on a pedastool it doesnt have to be on no routines no lines just  walk towards girl and speak.... 
__________________
Im in the Middle of Florida being Awesome


Shattering my reality My Journal 

Find em Fuck em Forget em™

I am learning all the time. The tombstone will be my diploma. ~Eartha Kitt

~~Act like you been their before~~
beasting---Beasting is reducing your reaction time to ZERO. You just fucking approach without thought or consequence, constantly
Login or register to post.
#10
Me-vs-Me

Me-vs-Me

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Join Date: 05/18/2010 | Posts: 1368

 09/12/2010
The pshycology party

I went to a course party today in university. There were a lot of cool girls and guys.  I firs was sober and knew only two girls there and it was really awkward in the beginning. Then I forced myself to sit down in one table and start talking. One girl liked me and we had a good convo with her, she even followed me and stuff. She was pretty hot and really tall.. like.. as tall as me and this is tall.. 187 cm. Then.. I sat down and talked to another girl who was also pretty hot.. the convo went well but I left the set many times and when one time I cam back.. she was no longer there. Then I went one and met one cute girl on the dance-floor. She touched me quite a lot and was interested much..  and then.. one moment her friend said.. let's go to this place and she was.. ok, bye :D Like..wtf.. I asked her msn and she gave me her facebook. I added her, she is single, that's good.. 

So.. I was pissed that I didn't close any of those three girls tonight.. all of them were into me.. at least at some point.. and.. that I din't join the last girl when she went to another place.. the party was already dieing..

Good things.. I talked to three girls and they all loved me.

Things I am insicure about.. they were all form the same school than me and had seen me before.. so.. it wasn't so cold approach and we had a similar topic to talk about.. the school..
The big problem with cold approaches at club is that I have no mutual talking topic and they really haven't seen me before.

Anyways: good thing that I approached three attractive girls and got one girl facebook.  
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