October 24th, 2016
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Junior Member

Join Date: 03/19/2011 | Posts: 4

I am really enjoying your posts. You seem to change your views a lot though.
I am also really interested in seeing what an IDF soldier has to say about the conflict... as you said you can't have a clear view from the media.
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Trusted Member

Join Date: 03/08/2009 | Posts: 1190

 Isreali military is no joke damn

how long do you have till you can leave?
"Understand: It is within your power to set your own price. How you carry yourself reflects what you think of yourself. If you ask for a little, shuffle your feet and lower your head, people will assume this reflects your character. But this behavior is not you-it is only how you have chosen to present yourself to other people"
Robert Greene - "The 48 laws of power"

“If you are not yourself, if you surrender your personality, you have nothing left to give the world. You have no pleasure, no use, nothing which will attract and charm me, for by the suppression of your individuality, you lose your distinctive character.”

Edward Wilmot Blyden (1832 – 1912) Liberian statesman

My FR's. Give me feedback gawd damnit
Apupimpin: Round 2
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Senior Member

Join Date: 09/24/2009 | Posts: 164

I decided to post this update for myself- so I can see that everytime I come back to track my progress...
Israeli indepandace day. All I do is stay home and sleep, wake up and sleep again.
Slept for 14 hours and I was still tired after that. The reason for this was 10 days of non-stop millitery training and not enough sleep...
I'm a soldier in the IDF- but I don't identify that much with the Israeli collective...I don't give a fuck about that bullshit, really. (maby its because most people around me just SUCK)
Its kinda wierd, 'cause I am eating tons of shit for Israel...I could do a much easier millitery service and maby even come home every day. Its kinda messes with my head...and I think about this A LOT.
But well, things are not that easy and simple in the IDF.
In 3 weeks we are going frontline, and I want to become a squad commander as soon as posible. Yet, there is much work to do- I lost tons of muscle, lost tons of friends I had no life-for HALF A YEAR now.  andI still don't have much of a life... (2.5 more years to go O_O)
When I think about my life situation- and even when I'm writing this- I feel like TOTAL SHIT. damn, at home I sometimes even wake up crying and shouting at my parrents...(but maby its because holosync)
I need to rebuild my life situation in all areas, meanwhile going through the final (toughest) millitery trainings.
In Israel we have this saying "Yihiye tov". "It will be alright". so damn on point. (a whole nation who goes through tons of nonstop shit)
but it won't be alright for me... It will be AMAZINGLY FUCKING AWSSOME.
Today in half an hour I'll be going out to chill with some old be continued ;)
Went out at 1AM (my parants screwed me...) met some friends  at the bar, chilled a bit. left at 2AM.
Pretty chode.  but for a long long time- only cool chill people where around the table and its worth mentioning.... Good night.
I just read few of my first FRs here- realizing how much my realitiy is stronger now- even though its been a while since my last approach.
At my first post I wrote that my goal is to drop all "game" and become REAL. It kinda happened, I find that I don't bullshit as much as I used to. I still find myself DHV subtly trying to impress people with "blalblabla I'm owning it at the army blablalbla" or talking loudly about people who are realted to me and their achievments- as if I'm better by asociation (ego shit). hell, at least I'm aware of this and soon it will stop.

anyway- I realized that I have to set new goals, and my my new goals are-
-Become a squad commander- this will challenge me and help me shape my personality and express myself, be DOMINANT, DIRECT and LEAD.
-Meet tons of new people- and get a solid social circle of cool people I love to go out and chill with. (it adds so much value to have that..)
-Take massive action and attack my fears. Become more unstifled (less stifled) to the point of not being stifled at all. Talk loader, talk more, be more assertive, take more space, GET MORE PHISICAL, apprach girls, dance with chicks, approach groups. be a less of a spectator and more of a PLAYER.
- Have a better "game" which is developed from field experience.
- Automaticlly approach hot chicks (spontanious lovestriking). I see/sit next to/stand next to hot chick = I talk to her a bit. It come to not judging ANYTHING until I talk to her for a minute.
-Girlfriends/Fuckbuddies/stalkers... the whole deal.

K. the goals are set, the journy continues... I'll come with an action time in my free time. I'm sure my R.A.S will focus on whats good for me and I'll lead myself in the right direction.
To be updated soon!
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Senior Member

Join Date: 09/24/2009 | Posts: 164

Yesterday. I came home from another week at the army.
As I stated in ealier posts, this is defently not a jornal about IDF, politics or anything like that.
This is a jornal about self actualization and development.
As I went deeper and deeper into it (and you can also see it clearly through the posts I wrote) I figured that the thoughts about your nationality, actions and life situation are nothing more than thoughts- that come from YOUR STATE OF CONCIOUSNESS.
Its kinda wierd because right now I feel some resistance writing this. "I'm not in state".... you know....remembering all this...what for? I'm pretty at peace in the moment.

I don't feel much as if I am doing it or going through it. It just happens moment to moment... I'm always here, now.
I just realized that I became something like 500% more chill and present.
A medic who looked at my heart rate asked me if I'm some kind of an athlete- because it was fucking low. A thought went through my head that moment : "No man, its because I'm so fucking chill..."
why? lets look at what I went through:
I had to adapt to millitary life- sleeping in a tent with 7 other guys, dealing with all the nonesense, the stupied roleplays, the philosophies and etc- than coming home- going to the club- reading Tolle/Rand- meanwhile doing Holosync every day- all this- back and forth- being alone with my crazy thoughts.... And this forced me into this.
I feel SUPER CENTERED, despite (or maby thanks to) all this bullshit.

I even found some ratinalization of WHY I'm doing what I'm doing- Why I'm serving in the fucking army, and this is a huge thing to me. I want to post here the whole story of these thoughts going through my head and what happened after it, just to remember this shit.

My parrents wanted me to go to the army- and I didn't much wanted it for myself... all this nationality, jewish/israeli thing, all these politics, the roleplays, this nonestop bullshit...I lived in my own little bubble, with my rich familly, giant house, bed, competer, car, 5 mints drive to the sea... man, my life is HONEY.
But my parrents dropped the bomb at me: IF YOU WON'T SERVE FULL 3 YEARS IN THE ARMY, YOU ARE OUT. 
And they ment it.
So I had to  make the choice- stay at the army or lose everything I had.
I choosed (after long nights of no sleep) to go through it and earn everything I have.
Its a damn high salary if you think about it, and I do recognize my parents' right to choose whether or not they give me all these things. I'm 18.5- they don't own me anything.
No one I know earns as much as I do. :)
Add to this that going through this shit and challenging yourself in the army makes you redicouleslly centered...
As I think these thoughs- the officer my platoon commander calls me to come over and talks to me about being a squad commander. Awssome.
just imagine what happened to my self esteem after this. But it starts from within.
Next week I'm comming back to the final 14 days of the training- and then frontline. wooo!!!!~ Thats gonna be a damn exciting thing.

To sum it all up, I slept that day and didn't go out, 'cause I needed/wanted to rest.
I also think that when I will have 5 days at home every month- I could go out 3-4 times that week and really improve infield. ya know, "cold approach pickup".
Now I just need to get over this shit and move on. :)

To be continued.....
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Senior Member

Join Date: 09/24/2009 | Posts: 164

So damn beautiful. I just returned from a night out at old friends house...
I just enjoyed being present and chatting with people- watching what I do and say... having fun and amusing myself.
There were 4 girls in the house. First one is friends' ex-girlfriend- and he wants her back- and he stood I didn't. She was damn hot though. And attracted too. Its wierd- the hotter the girl- the more confident I feel around her! I remember this being so different all over the years.... well- thats what happens when you don't put girls on a pedestal and rate them (as I used to...) "SHES A 10 WOOOOOWWWWWWWW HYPERCALIBRATED NEGGING GAME TIME NOW"
She was hot, and my "friend" was a dick and uncool from the second I saw him.  I almost did...

Second girl was taken, Thierd girl was ugly (I still approached her though), 
Fourth girl is an "old friend"-  the first girl who ever rejected me at 10th grade~ my first oneits (for more than a YEAR) and etc.... too much ego around it + she is kinda wierd. I don't want to fuck this girl... I don't want anything else to do with her- she was in my head for damn too long.
I just spoke to her and stayed present, no thought, totally in the moment, listened to her... she kept talking.. cool.

Then I spoke to some friends, expressed whats on my to be social and talk to people in a normal enviorment- as opposed to the army - which is stifling and full of stupied roleplays.
And well..Thats pretty much it. Fun night out.
I noticed that I am about 1000% more charismatic than I used to be- people change thier behavior around me in a positive way - I controll the reality- I saw myself controlling a full room- I entered it and started talking...and BAM.
It was fun....

To be continued. =]
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Senior Member

Join Date: 09/24/2009 | Posts: 164

DONE. Finished advanced military training. No more role play bullshit (or at least I hope so...). It was a damn intance week...but I can't really say much about it in this forum...I already said too much.
Well, I didn't really finish- there are 2 mounts left of frontline training- But I hope to more free time with no schedual- and start rebuilding my life situation.

Of course after the fucking long journy we had at the end of the training- I just slept all day.
You might wonder- why am I writing so much about the army, and my beilive systems.... thats because its not about the girls at all. Its about ME. I NEED this in order to become centered.
I can't step up to a hot chick and be like "hey I got a strong reality"- when you are a chode,  live in reaction, resist yout life situation, and all you do is complain and wait to the future (or the girl) to libirate you from your pain..
Thats what chode value takers do, and I am not one.

WOKE UP. 14 hour sleep.
Now out of the army trance a bit.

I really put myself and my life aside for all this time - and I was just focused on going through the training. The last 6 mounths were the shttiest of my life.
And much more shit to come.

I don't see myself as a victim or something.
I notice in my self that I have this paradox in my head- I see myself as an individual- I don't Identify with any collective- nor with past or future. I was kinda forced into the army, but I decided to stay and become a commander- in order to offer value and experience some challenges, pressure and shit.
Yet, at the same time- I am in the IDF...surrounded by chodes and social conditioning- and in order to be a commander I have play the game.... "when in rome, be roman"  I want to be proud of the IDF and I want to beilive that we do an important job.
Thats part of the role: the role of a soldier and especially a commander. On the other hand... There is no need to identify with this. You can still stay free, aware, conscious.
Thats what got me to this point, and thats whats going to keep the train going....NOT social conditioned collective bielives which come from the govrenment, newspapers and media.

Yet, the reason I'm in the army is not to die for Israel. I still plan on leaving Israel in 2.5 years. I still hold my dreams and my goals.
I am still moving toward this big pimp self image I have, and I swore that I won't abandon any of this for the army and the decision I made to serve for 3 years.
When I act chode I am away at the backround. aware. I know its just a game, a role play. Its not who I am. I know who I am.

Thats the mental crazy train I go through.... at first I was TOTTALLY overwhelmed... my mind had to struggle ,build and adapt to  this stronger system...But eventually it did.
.It wasn't easy- I went through tons of "humiliation" because of this. But I was focused on the goal. I learned some damn important lessons and moved closer to core confidence.
2.5 more years to go. ;)

My goal was to have fun and chill with some friends. Not an intance pickup night... i needed some rest.
So I went out to friends party. These friends are not in the army- they escaped it.
Some gone full hippies, all they do is drink and smoke weed. They act like retarded kids... they fight and shout at each other World Of Warcraft shit. WTF. HELL. CHODE HELL. there was about 20 of these guys there and maby 4 ugly stupied girls who act the same.
Thats what happens to you don't challenge yourself, don't change your behavior, when you live unconsciouslly.
Well of course at that time I just stayed cool with it, had some fun and left after about an hour.
My friend- insisted on going to 11th graders party. LAME. I entered- saw that one of the girls is my friend's little sister and left. bluahh.
In my mind I was "I'm a fucking adult, wtf I am doing here" lol.
My other chode friends went to a strip club.
Better than what I did. 

I realized more than ever that I need a social circle- few cool guys and girls to hang out with- go to clubs and pubs- because after these intance army sessions of being ALONE, I want some warm human company- not a loud club .
I also realized that I am alone in this pickup thing. I lead this thing, no one else is there to push it with me- my firends are chodes.
As I said- the solution is finding new friends who are into pickup. I can think of at least 4 guys I know who will happily do this with me...
lol. I wasn't that hard to predict it. Tyler says this in the blueprint....
I choose to go into the unknown and leave this chode hell prison I used to be in.

To be continued.
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Senior Member

Join Date: 09/24/2009 | Posts: 164


I decided that I am going out no matter what. My chode friends cancled going out in the last minute... so I tried to call everybody. I swore to some friend that if I won't find someone to go out with I'll go out alone.
At the end I found some crazy dude...
Drived all the way to Tel-Aviv, bay area. Then somehow a dude step up to us and tells us we can get into 22-23 club (I'm 18.5, my friend is 21). It was 1Am so we entered.
It turns out to be a fucking SCARY club.
Full of crappy scary looking Mizrahim Israeli people (=chodes/criminals/blauh) and thier music. BAD chode hebrow music.  I think I was the youngest dude in this club.  All the "chicks" where 30+ old and ugly. Bluhhh.
Just awful. My friend insited we stay there and got drunk.
We just laughed the shit of this wierd situation we are in.... my friend talked to some ugly looking girl. I  didn't talk to anyone. Then my friend talked to some chode.
Then we both just sat there. laughing. lol.
Then my friend wanted to leave.I stayed there for 5 more minutes alone- just to hundle this wierd situation social presure. Like WTF. I noticed that I start writing shit on my phone (I used to do this a lot in these situations).
I should stop this and stay with the tention- but it was just too wierd and old people were looking at me...
(But on the other hand, it is wierder to write shit on your phone just to kill the tention)
then I joined him outside.
lame night? huh. dunno. It was kinda funny.

Don't want to analyze anything. I just wanna sleep- wake up all fresh and new and go to the sea, before I go to the army for 16 days or so.
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Senior Member

Join Date: 09/24/2009 | Posts: 164


I'm back home. Army changed a lot since I finished the first 6 mounths of "bootcamp". Now its real... I'm out there, at the border. Its much more fun.
There is peace where I'm at right now, but even in peace we are sweating 24/7.but in 2 mounths I'll probeblly serve at a hostile place- and who knows.
There are actual GIRLS (wow!) In my current base- and I am certainlly going to take advantage of that ;) Right now I kinda put that on hold- I was more focused on making my lifestyle fun out there...
besides- there is a vetren unit at this base- and I'm wating for them to leave before I hit on "thier" girls... RIght when we came in I noticed that some of them are super pissed at us :P And these are real good guys- so I'll wait this week for them to be nice ^^

Anyways- I realized that much about this thing is "lifestyle design"- designing your lifestyle to be cool and fun. It was HORRIBLE when I felt that I'm forced to serve at the army. I felt like shit and I wanted to leave.
But when I consciously CHOOSE to do this I opened up and started seeing all the awssome things about this experience.
When I'm out there- walking 2 hours stright with a giant bag on my shoulders while its 40degrees outside- I feel awssome... who on EARTH does that shit. In auddition I feel more ummm "adult". I constantly put more responsiblity and pressure on myself... I'm a fireteam commander planing to be a squad commander. I don't have the privilege to whine, cry, be weak or act like a bitch. When I make mistakes- and even small "minor" ones, I pay for them. (more than a regular soldier)
There is a price to be payed to lead.

I think that most 18.5 year old guys around the wolrd can't even look me (or any other israeli frontline soldier) in the eyes stright- they are bussy whining on shit while we carry the responsiblity of defending the life of 7.5 million people.
So who gives a fuck.
Today I noticed that when I'm out alone I just want to have fun- and fuck the world. When I feel like singing in the middle of the mall - I'll fucking sing in the middle of the mall.

Ok, right now I got about 5 days home- and I'm planing to make the most of this.
To be continued.

There are certain rules I wanna make for myself for this "vacation"-
- First of all- no masterbation to porn. Its a temptation.. but I decided to not even look at sexy things over the web- and there is a reason to this. I wanna look at sexy things IN FIELD, ya know- REAL life.
-Make some rediculos "unrealistic" goals and achieve them- make them into reality.
- Design a "citizen lifestyle" for the time I'm at home.
- Design a "soldier lifestyle" when I'm at the base.

Thats it for now. I'm off to sleep,
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Senior Member

Join Date: 09/24/2009 | Posts: 164

Met with some old chode friends. I really didn't like the behavior of some of them (whining, complaning, pissed off restless needy anoying chode vibe) - and I decided- I'm not going to see them anymore. Not accaptable.
These are not the friends I want.

One of my friends said that I changed a lot since the army. I asked him if its good or bad. He answered "dunno you just changed".. but I like this change... its growth.
Damn. I masterbated when I came home and when I woke up.... dunno, I rationalized something thats its good.

Went out to a bar with a friend. We set with his girlfriend and her friends. They are not at the army yet.
-----1------>  I set next to a cute blond girl and talked to her, gave her a lot of eye contact and she gave me back. It was dark and I didn't see her body. The conversation went OK, Its been a while since I talked to a girl (wierd huhXD).
Its kinda pissed me off that she is femenist. They can be fucking anoying sometimes! Anyway its my responsibility to make it fun... I better take it on myself to improve than judge girls.

Anyway I could talk to her lots closer and make more phisical connection to generate more attraction/arousal. I could also laugh/cold read/qualify/compliment her or something to make it more fun.... but I didn't felt like it. I was just present- and let the chips fall where they may. Game no more right?
Good thing about it was that I was REAL, and didn't qualify myself. And I offered value by my presence- and I teach her stuff about the army.
IMO it can be real cool to throw in DEEP observations of the girls-  its fun for me to talk about this... Its also cool to ask about what is intresting to HER so I'll get to know who she is.
Anyway she leaves the pretty fast- didn't take her phone/facebook or anything.

-----2-----> Sent SMS to a model friend of mine. Lol, its fun thats she is a model 'cause she used to be ugly and like a sister to me... I just wanna see her for some reason, dunno why. She is kinda dry from what I remember. She didn't reply for some reason. whatewver.
-----3------> Sent SMS to a chick I set out to meet 7 mounth ago. I fuff talked for 2-3 messeges then I got direct. (my friend suggested it to me) - "I thought about meeting you in my vacation- what do ya say" She answered "sure". I'll call her in the upcomming days.

----4-----> Talked to a girl who set there from the start. I got tons of IOI's from her 'cause I was just indiffernt.... she wasn't hot or something. average. Again I was just present, Nothing more. When we first came In I TRIED to give her eye contact- but it was just wierd, so I just fucosed on the blonde at the start.  
----5----> Talked to a fatty who sat at our table. lol. I said "whats your name" and she almost pee in her pants, than I shook is hand and told her why I shake girl's hands. K thats it. she is just a fatty. lol.

----6----> A hot girl I know walks in the bar. She is hot and cute. I look at her.. she didn't seem to see me. I continue looking on her (she didn't even notice). Then I just tell my friend about it-He looks at her and tells me "I used to have a crush on her", I told him the entire thing- That I'm looking at her for 2 mints to get her attention and she doesn't even notice! Wierd. (Old me would never be so real, but I pride myself on being brutally honest and sharing as much of my thought process as I can.) . Then he just says "Lets go both and just sit at her table." I smile- and he gets up. we both go and just sit there- of course she notices me looks me in the eyes- kiss her on the chick and start chatting all my attention on her. LAZER EYES. To be polite I introduce myself to her somewhat wierd uncool friend.  who introduced me to a friend who just got there.
I shouldn't do this, 'cause I'm cool and she wouldn't cockblock anyway.
My friend left us alone too.
But the conversation was kinda boring, I talk about girl no.----2---- (the model) who didn't answer my SMS and if she knows her... (she does). I talk about the army. Then tell her the entire thing- how I looked at her and she didn't notice. and that its wierd. As I talked to her I felt kinda "tention"- I was kinda nervous 'cause It was kinda barier for me to appraoch this direct (and the entire bar was looking at this)- Thats why the conversation wasn't that interesting. I wasn't 100% chille. I had to try to be present.
Anyway- I tell her that I'm going to sit with my friends and I'll talk to her later. I touch her as I go.
It turns out to be a good decision 'cause 1mint after this about 15-20 of her friends arrive and they all sit together. If I stayed there 1 more minute she would say hi to all of them while I sit there like a chode.
I CK her as she leave- soon after. (why all the hotties leave that fast?!) I already got her number in my phone from 2 years ago- I might call her if I'm bored or something. I got nothing to lose.
She didn't seem to explode of IOIS though (like girls 4 & 5), I got kinda "friend to a friend" not very feminine vibe from her. But I'm alpha and cool (and the approach was kick ass, my friend is the man) so guess she will at least reply to my sms, maby even meet me- and who knows. I'm up for the challenge. sucsess or faluire.

Edit- I read somewhere that there is no such thing as "Aproach Anxiety", But only "Aproach Excitement"- You are excited to talk to a cool hot girl. And I think thats what happened with girl 6.
I prephere thinking "What she saw is a man who got intense feelings and desire, but knows how to quickly conquer them and be chill, in the moment". Thats kinda whats happened with her: After I felt this wierrrd excitement feeling when I looked into her eyes like "Damn shes hot", I "tried" and returned into my natural state of awarness/presence/being in the moment....
The thing was, that yesterday I thought its BAD (because I wasn't experienced enough in approaching real cool girls) and I rationlized something stupied. but in actual reality - the self is always comming through- she saw the entire thing- the excitement itself was cool, but I was lacking congurent to know it is cool....
(just analyzed the shit out of it huh)

Tomorrow I'm planing to go out too. 
To be continued.
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Senior Member

Join Date: 09/24/2009 | Posts: 164


Went out with a chode friend from the army. We didn't even get to a party, because I let him choose a party and arange it. I just drived like stupied for 3 hours, than got angry and returned home.

I call girl ----3---- from 23/6/11,  and set a date for 26/6/11. Forgot to put FTC though, nvm it was still good and natural.

Went out with the same chode friend, I aranged a party this time. He lives in a fcuking shit hole, it took me 90mints just to pick him up, 30-40mints more to get to the party.
I found a cool quality pubs/partys area in the north near Haifa. Though, we get to the party at 1:30AM.
It sucked so much. I didn't even approach, neither does he.
I just tried to escape from him the whole fucking night 'cause he is a super chode and his presence annoyed me. I better off alone.
and I got in state just around 3AM.... Than it was too late, the club was over...

I learned an importent lesson though. I swear by my life and my love of it that I'm never going out with chodes again, PERIOD.
I better off alone, really. Thier reality annoys me, it makes it harder to get in state and take risks, they are not strong enough to support.... value takers.
Damn, it was a shit night.
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