THE FORUMS

August 20th, 2018
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#11
PimpBoy

PimpBoy

Senior Member

Join Date: 09/24/2009 | Posts: 164

 Another update.

Realizing I have no other option than staying in the army for the next 3 years, I decided I want to go EXTREAM-
I'm going to leave my current unit (rescue squad) and move to the most dangerous extream elite squad I can find.
I already been to some elite unite training camps so I hope they will let me out.

Doing your best, living on your edge and reaching your potential- is the ONLY way to live.

I went out yesteday and talked to some friends- and man I just go depressed- I didn't even wanted to talk to chicks...
'cause currently I'm not living the right way.
While some guys are going through HELL right now, testing and challenging themselfs doing thier best, I'm mostly lying to myself....I am surrounded by chodes and chicks...
I better never get home and grow, then stay home and die.

K, now I'm going to take action immeditely and own this shit.. enough with the bullshit.
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#12
PimpBoy

PimpBoy

Senior Member

Join Date: 09/24/2009 | Posts: 164

Today is the 31/12/2010

Just woke up from 20 hour sleep. Yesterday I got home from another 2 tough weeks in the army. I hate the army. I hate where I'm at. I hate what I'm doing.
I got a stupied leg problem, a doctor could fix this in a sec but the didn't gave me docter in 3 weeks. I don't get enough sleep, I hate the people around me,
I get to see home only 2 days every 14 days in the army... and its freaking me out. New years eve, and I have nowhere to go, I missed the partys, I'm too tired to drive, not to mention fucking a chick right now.
I lost tons of musscle.
The ammount of shit I go through dayly is undescribable.
[=14.4px]How can you stay positive in the face of this? I don't even get to see results in "the field", damn, I don't even get to see the field.
Last week I lived in the desert for few days, slept in a small tent with 5 other guys, and all we did was shoot and eat.
I have to ask for permision for EVERYTHING.
The army is a lie. The counrty is a lie. My commanders? some of them are chodes, unconscious just 1 year older then me... 
I got super pissed 'cuase I didn't get to see a freaking doctor or even a simple medic all that time, I get NO SLEEP, shitty food, my nose is bleeding and everybody is shouting on me. even though I'm STILL RUNNING AND SHOOTING. I don't even have to do this! the medic told me not to!
There is no logic in the army. I got super pissed and gave up this last shooting, gave up some trainings, and it fucked me back. My commader clearly thought I'm giving up...
Soildier? its all in your head.


But still, when I look in the miror I fucking love myself, even through all this shit I'm going through. Core confidence? or maybe pure delusion?
At least next week I'll get to do Holosync with my mp3 at night, so I won't get depressed- or feel like its a total wast of my time.

I MUST READ. I must evolve. I must do something.

The army is so chode, sometimes I think to myself- maybe I should have stayed chode, it would be safer. It would be so easy.
I would have these stupied false Ideas to believe in, I would look for the "women of my dreams that would save me", go to university, work in hightech, [=14.4px]bring a few kids, die.
Seems like chodes don't have hard time accepting that they have no control, [=14.4px]that others try to dictate thier reality for themt, that thier only purpose is to serve the country, to walk through life in a walking daze, to be chode.
I'm surrounded by that. And I see, I see the resistance, the ego, the FEAR. the storys, the drama. the rationalizations. the lies. I see that also in myself.
I looked at a cute little chode next to me- and decided. It was worth it.

If untile now, it was only thoughts- now I see this as reality. there is still a long way to go.

ITS THE HARD TIMES THAT MAKE YOU. I'm so sure, one day people will think that everything I got was so easy, that I was so gifted...that I did this.... fuck them.
I surround myself with Tolle, and eat some normal food.... and then, back to the present momemt. where storys drama, lies and pain don't exist and seen as they are- false, mind made lies.
Not wanting, not waiting. no fear. the journy is now.
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#13
PimpBoy

PimpBoy

Senior Member

Join Date: 09/24/2009 | Posts: 164

 Today is the 15/1/2011


It became kind of a phenomenon to write here... even though I live like a chode, and I had NO SEX since the last post.
well. At least I'll use this opertunitty to be REAL, I'm a virgin, even though knowing so much about pickup and social dynamics, even though I'm a "natural", even though people can even IMGAINE or DREAM to see what I see...
But what is that "I", if not a stupied- not real, ego? Its all a big beutifull lie. "I" have never done anything. "I" never existed. "I" is just a concept.
Does it even in the face of WHO I AM trully? Does the story matter? The self is always comming through as they say.
Being enlightened is not that hard. thats all I can say.

I just read the last post, and 14 days later- I've pretty much gone through the same things again.
I MUST LEAVE THIS UNIT.
I know this for sure. If I'm destined to be in the army for 3 years, I must start over and offer value in a different place.

The little chode? He tried to kill himeslelf, he tried to kill me, and they took him away... would be boring to explain this rationally....even though when you write- it is the common way to explain and express yourself, thats why chodes, and I used to be one, love writing and reading, love the comcepts, love this conceptual FALSE unobjective reality.

Man, I have no time for pickup or ANYTHING. Maby I'll fuck in the army or something.... fucking is not the goal anymore. ego is not the goal anymore.
But if it is, If I really exist, if I want to exist and LIVE, the army is not the place for me.

I'm philosophically confused about the way I live my life right now. I want to read some Ayn Rand...
I remember when reading her the first time, 1 year ago, I felt ALPHA for the first time ever. I felt confident, I felt strong, people could see this.
Even though It was not perfect yet, and there was still a long way to go.
About 1.5 years ago I watched the blueprint for the first time, maby half a year ago a read tolle for the first time....so on,. My "life", or rather, life situation changed so much.
I'm different- For the better. From being the LAMEST social conditioned NERD CHODE to who I am now, its a long way.
But its all a story, its not who I AM.
Now, As I walk through life again trying to look at reality objectivly and be "in the moment" the same time- Its 1000% precent stronger....
'cause I live this 24/7.

And whats next? Nobody knows. only time can tell.

Peace
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#14
PimpBoy

PimpBoy

Senior Member

Join Date: 09/24/2009 | Posts: 164

Today is the 4.2.2011

Just came back from 21 fucking days in the army STRIGHT.
Man, I gone throught tones of shit...
Currently I working on changing to an elite unite- where it would be even more chalenging.
My current unite is a joke, really... I can't stand the chode enviorment and the people around me. I can do MUCH MUCH more.
But its "all for the good".
Some of my commanders SUCK. Some are awssome and I learn a lot from them.
At the same time- I know they learn a lot from me too....
I can't really tell a lot on the training and whatever- but I've been a squad commander in the field... yup- working on yourself is tottally worth it= 'cause I did great- even though my squad is full of chodes.
coulden't imagine doing this 2 years ago....

The army is a BRAINWASH- man. Its hard keeping the " "alpha reality" " on when you are treated as inherenty low value 24/7.
I saw my commanders- most of them do not have core condidance- its only situational. Some even run the army rat-race just for the chicks.
You don't have to run the rat race to get chicks.... You run the rat race for yourself. And I wanna run it too- 'cause its challenging and you learn a lot from this.

I almost forgot to mention that the whole time (exept the time I spent in the field) I do holosync everyday. I also finished reading Eckhart Tolle's "A new earth" and started reading it again...
Whats next? Only time can tell.... To be continued !
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#15
PimpBoy

PimpBoy

Senior Member

Join Date: 09/24/2009 | Posts: 164

 AFTER 2 MOUNTHES I WENT OUT, 4.2.2011

At least, good god! I went to a friend's party at a bar in my hometown. I went just to see my friends...
The army completly took my life away,.. I am now learning the ropes again. starting just with how to talk.I have this new sese of reality.
Before- I used to talk to impress- think too much and wait to reaction to get in state and to strenghten the "cool guy clubpromoter pua " self image that I had.
Now- its like I completly don't give a fuck. I know who I am. I trust my reality. I barely ping. 

We shouted, had fun, ate, drank... I felt like I have nothing to talk about exept the army. well, THATS MY LIFE SITUATION. so I'm gonna make it cool.

I set next to this hot frined of mine- when she came I just stared at her and nothing came in my mind. after a minute some words came out.  interview mode. I don't give a fuck.
She smiled. Its kinda new for her seeing me like this.
then we all moved a table. I set next to her again. she all leaned on me, smiled again few times- but I didn't have much to say... whatever. I was just chill- thinking how much it all changed.
If the situation was a bit differnt, I would fuck to shit out of her right on the spot... my dick was ready.

then for some unknown reason I stood up and walked outside, saw a girl who looked at me and went "hey wats up rachel", she was still looking at. I completly didn't give a fuck. It was a 5 set with some dudes.
"oh ops, I thought you are a friend of mine" and I walked away... she did looked like her but well, I don't get much sleep,and I just did holosync before I went out. lol. I drived back all wierd.

than I came back to my friends, at some point everybody left and we both stayed alone, I talked to her a bit... vibing and logistics. the logistics suck. she lives 3 hours away and it costed her 100 shekels (=30 USD) just to get there in trains. She is sleeping at a firends house. whatever. we stood up and I pet her chodly for the first time- "your short" well, she is super short XD.
I brought her and another friend of mine home. Feels so chode to write this, but whatever. One day I'll read this shit and laugh. Its so retarded making it a big deal.

Tommorw I hope to go out again- Anyways, I know that one day I'll fuck her. thats the difference- I used to be like "can I do this?" now I am the game.
To be continued.
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#16
PimpBoy

PimpBoy

Senior Member

Join Date: 09/24/2009 | Posts: 164

friday 18.2.2011
Yesterday I returned from another 14 intense days at the army.
I'm still working on moving to an elite unite.
The army life is odd and full of shit in many ways, but I like it because its intese - you have tones of time with yourself, and you get to know yourself and life much better.
In my opinion, life is about going through shit and evoulving.
I can clearly say with 100% certenty, the the average Israeli soldier- after 3 years is WAY WAY WAY more centered, confident and stronger as a human being then most people in the world,
Not to mention officers and commanders...
I'm planing to be at least a commander and maby even an officer if I'll find that challenging enough.

I still do holosync every night even though I get to sleep barely 6 hours. I don't care. Its just makes me stronger.
I remember writing- "and now, for the first time ever- I'm happy from the inside"
Life is so...different. Not what I thought it is for a long long time.
My presence has become so strong that EVERYBODY feel and respond to it, whether they are conscious of if or not.
Some people who are stuck in thier egos even have wierd emotional responses to that. I used to really take it seroislly at first, but now Its funny see them reacting so storngly.


I get attraction so fast. One time I set with this chick to talk about army stuff, and after 10 seconds and it turned intense attraction and sexual tension, (she rationalized it as "your facual expression is funny", Of course I didn't bought it like a lame chode, and she got even more attracted...
I needed to stop and get out of there, 'cause its the army and big social conditioning and blablabla.

In the army its EXTREAMLY obviouse whether people are stuck in there social conditioning- or conscious.
I got 2 officers which I admire for this by the way...pure presence and core confidence.
I also got commanders who only got egoic-situational-position based confidance and its UGLY. BLUAHHHH. FAKE. YUCK.

ALRIGHT. I'm free for 10 days or so- as I finished my first millitery bootcamp, (I'll probeblly go through another in my new unite)
And I'm planing to go out and have fun as much as possible and screen for a girl to date...

To be updated soon ;)
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#17
PimpBoy

PimpBoy

Senior Member

Join Date: 09/24/2009 | Posts: 164

friday 25.2.2011
Today I went out to a club with 2 friends. I think this was the chodiest day of my life.
I spent almost the entire vacation sleeping, meditating and listening to Jed Mcenna's books.

Today I was just extream apatheic. I just did not give a fuck.
I was like "whats the meaning of all this". "Whats true?!" "Who am I?" "wtf should I do?".
Feels like I'm getting crazy, but I don't. At any moment I can stop this journy, rationalize it to the end- and return to where I was before, to the "normal" path I was walking in.
Or even go extream. I had this thought of just becoming religious or something, "I", or some of this "i" could swear to God that I got saved from death today 'cause I did some mitzva from the tora...
So fucking easy, no need to think anymore. I got 2 friends who did this, and I never head of them since.
At some point, I even though- if I will be dead right now. so the fuck what?
TOTAL WIERD.

I'm getting away from all, or at least most of my friends. I just see the go and get grossed. I SEE WHATS GOING ON.
Man, I didn't even approached. but as I see the cute girls, I don't give a FUCK what the think and I just KNOW how easy it is.

I need some time to think. thats it, I guess. I'll solve it on my own. just more TIME.
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#18
PimpBoy

PimpBoy

Senior Member

Join Date: 09/24/2009 | Posts: 164

friday 11.3.2011
Guess what. I just returned from another 14 days at the army.
I tried, for almost 4 mounths to move to an elite unit in the IDF.
But even though I can, and I proved that to but everybody, my commanders are stupied, they want me there and they don't let anyone out of my current unit.
So, well, my uncle was damn right about that.- army service is useless wasted 3 years of your life... I don't think I even want to be a commander anymore- its all just an egoic lie, nothing real.

I don't give a fuck about this country or anything. All I'm looking for is some spare time so I can go out, drive in daddy's new car, get in extream shape, make money and sport-fuck chicks.
And if we will all die tomorrow- so the fuck what. Fear is for pussys.

um, well. I need to make more time- 'cause currently, having 1-2 spare days to go out a week (while the rest of the time I'm in the army and have have NO TIME AT ALL) is deffenty not enough.
So I am working on that.

The rest of the week- Army time is used to "spiritual practice"- meditation, laughs, reading, expanding my reality...  I'll also try to work out as much as I can...dunno how yet.
In case I'll not move to another unit- I'll just be myself, naturally lead and let the chips fall where they may. Thats all it is, after all.

I'll accept that in the next 3 years I'm not going to do anything bigger that LIVING LIFE, offering value, and my dick to chicks.
There is no point in life after all. I just "recovered" from Jed Mckenna's books. I listened to the first to in 5 days one after another. It DESTROYED and SMASHED my realily.
But "your reality gets stronger by getting broken repitedly"- and thats what I went throgh for these 3.5 wierd mounths.


Some say thats this game is all about lifestyle design. and I agree.
Going out 4 nights a week to pickup chicks is a lifestyle. Finding the time is a lifestyle. Travling is a lifestyle. Making money is a lifestyle.
HAVING ENOUGH SLEEP IS A LIFESTYLE.
AND I NEED TO GET MORE FUCKING SLEEP RIGHT NOW, SO CYA SOON.

Ps.
A lesson I learned from last weeks- NO MASTERBATION.
And NO HOLOSYNC BEFORE GOING OUT. Only after returning- and when falling asleep at night.
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#19
PimpBoy

PimpBoy

Senior Member

Join Date: 09/24/2009 | Posts: 164

After another chode night at a bar, I finally decided to stop giving a fuck, stop the fucking fear and security, step up, fullfill my dreams and fucking take responsiblity for my life.
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#20
PimpBoy

PimpBoy

Senior Member

Join Date: 09/24/2009 | Posts: 164

Friday 18/3/11
Returned today from another fucking week at the army.
I'm not going out tonight 'cause I'm too damn tired to drive.
shouldn't have masterbated too... I'll learn the lesson.

Last post I wrote:

PimpBoy wrote:
After another chode night at a bar, I finally decided to stop giving a fuck, stop the fucking fear and security, step up, fullfill my dreams and fucking take responsiblity for my life.

This week, I lived with integrity and took real action for the first time:
I acted crazy, talked about myself in thierd person, complained about tons of medical problems, acted apatheic, didn't do anything.
One of the girls who used to hate me for some wierd reason- maby because I was just FAKE COWARD CONFORMIST in the army, told me "I'm so fucking attracted to you".
dunno if its true or just my rationalization. But I love myself. Its better living with intergirty then any rank you could get. Thats REAL self esteem.

My platoon commander (commanding officer) came and talked to me-
He told me stright up (As higher ranks told me before) that he wants me to stay at the current unit and be squad commander/officer.
Well, it sounds cool. It sounds tempting. But. There is a but. a big but.

I DID NOT CHOSE TO GO TO THE ARMY.
They-the state, took me there, made me go there by force. I am a modern slave, slave to the country, to the state of Israel.
My commanders are nothing but my masters, slave masters- I do not follow by choice, but by force.
We are all slaves. Some refuse to see this. Israel is a socialist country- not a free one.
From a young age- the state forces a socially constructed reality upon us- and we are told it is the only objective truth. Together with the Jewish victem identity- it plays so well.

Anything different then the socially constructed reality, then the socially accepted chode behavior- is de-legetimized.
And so- brainwash after brainwash- there is a damn big army, a socialist-semi-religious state (who claims to be so damn good and progresive...but beulive me- its full of RETARDED people)- where every moron looter gets a gun.
After being more experienced in this- I can just SEE people living in fear. Almost everybody, even some millitery commanders. situational confidence only, social constucted reality, FEAR. Full chodes.

SLAVES. Thats what we are. Only the degree changes.
Being a squad commander- is nothing but being a slave master- you don't even need bawls or charisma. The rank on your shoulder and your GUN is enough.

to be continued.
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