THE FORUMS

March 24th, 2017
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#11
PimpBoy

PimpBoy

Senior Member

Join Date: 09/24/2009 | Posts: 164

 Today is the 10/12/2010
as I said in the last post, I am making this thing more of a jornal on social dynamics an personal development and less on getting girls 'cause unfortuantly- I am in the army and I'm back only on weekends.
The rest of the week I live in a tent with 7 other guys, and sleep inside a sleeping bad with my new girlfiriend- M16. shes hot.
The commander marked me as the best soldier in the squad- And this is mostly from BEING PRESENT offering value and leading.
But still, Long way to go.

My most important thing is to keep my positive dominant reality up- being present and acting through my own intentions. 
'cause the army is CHODE. The social conditioning in the army  is EXTREAM. [=14.4px]They push it upon you 24/7. 
"Do what they tell you...OR ELSE"
The army is built like that because most people are doing what the are told out of fear. There are laws of everything- the army is almost total communisem.
[=14.4px]most people walk through life in a walking daze.
And if you don't hold a SUPER STRONG UNSHAKABLE POSITIVE reality, you WILL BECOME A CHODE. no judgments- thats how it is.
Most people (and me among them) don't want to be there. There are better things to do than to be 2 mints from Gaza, sleeping in a tent with a gun,
But I take the time to improve and learn.

Dissidentification with the ego/being present is vital. I practice it 24/7. 'cause handeling what people think of you, or living up to self images and egos (both personal and national, which is pushed upon you hard in the army) is useless, retarded and even dangeros.

Holding a high level of entitelment in this enviorment is tricky too- 'cause you are in a "beta" position all day- if you are living in reaction- any gril will have higher value than you easyly and you will be shaken by every opinion. must be present and internaly validated.

well- my time here is short. I'll probebly go out today, and I'll keep updating. peace.
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#12
PimpBoy

PimpBoy

Senior Member

Join Date: 09/24/2009 | Posts: 164

  Today is the 17/12/2010
Just got home two hours ago, early today, Week 3 of the army bootcamp.

How the week pased?
I started the week with ZERO motivation, after fighting with my parents all weekend and staying at home, 2 weeks stright- with not enough sleep.
The fist day in- we had this huge storm, and I gaurded a position on the borded, in the freezing cold for 7 hours total- 500 meters from Gaza. I barely slept that night.
The next day I got this leg problem. And it sucked. 'cause I did nothing. I couldn't run, I could barly lead or really offer value in the army drills. Add to that that I was damn tired- and surrounded by complete chodes.
the next day we had rockes falling on us (I head the boom) and we set in protected shelters, and shitty food.
There was not enough protain- I have to take protain shakes and vitamins to stay alive.
I could barely stand stright- walked like a handicap for 3 days.
I'm sure that if I was at home I would be able to fix my state so fast- But the millitery is not home.
I tried holosync at night and when I woke up- and it woked awssome. I felt so good... but than the pain in my leg got worse, the inner voice of "play it safe" came in, and the high turned into a down.
I got fucking depresed, super negative state, hard. I just set there, like a dead chode for 3 days, depresed- and wanted to go home.
"I am having this shit in the army while others go to the university and fuck chicks, I don't even fucking care about this country, I am planning to move abroad anyway, and I can help in other ways. fuck this shit I want to go home."

As I told it to my mom- I had a fight with her over the phone, she told me that if I'm living army she is throwing me out of home (jewish mom)....
I was fucking depresd. I even cried over the phone, and I never cry- wtf. I was still chill and present behind that- just allowed it.
I told my mom that I want to go out, I really thought about it seriouslly. I even told my commander- he told me to wait.
All the commanders love me there, and I understand why.....

But, TODAY- I get this phone call from my aunt and uncle- and they told me how thier children ate shit in the army and passed it.
And it got me to re-think about this-this is a big waypoint in my life situation:
I got 2-3 options now-

1. Leave the army, stop talking to my parrents, get a job, move abroad or something- start all new- knowing nothing about the future.

2. Try to get a job in the amry where I get out more- the goal is everyday- and not do much. This option is not much under my control- 'cause I need the doctor to fix my leg and tell me if I can still be a frontline soldier...

3. DO MY BEST AT THE ARMY. Be super positive and optimistic, lead, nail everything I do, take tons of action and responsibility. (if the doctor will fix my leg)

When I really thought about this- doing my best IS the best for me and my goals- and I the only one I can really get real self esteem out of- and not just ego.
I decided that in whatever I do- be it dressing, eating, talking, fighting, fucking, pickup- I do it the BEST. and improve it again and again. "constant never ending improvment" to quote Anthony Robbins. Taking action IS the way to happiness.
Even if there are hard times and "fucks" along the way, I am on it, moving forward.

Like in pickup- you could get blown out a whole MOUNTH, but you will feel great- 'cause you are taking action and being awssome. (reminds me of Barny Stinson from How I Met Your Mom)
Thats when you LEARN AND IMPROVE- the hard times. Thats the true TEST and CHALLENGE for you.
Running that extra mile with no air. Doing this last imposible approach. Doing this first approach. Going to the Gym, pusshing through that last set, taking that protain shake and vitamins everyday- doing things when you have no time, being present when you are tired, waking up one hour early- etc.

Man It seems like forever since I've been with a girl... +_+ wtf huh. I told this cute girl I would meet with her but she lives 1.5 hours away from me. logistics.

Now- action plan:
-At least I have a car- I'm going out tonight no matter what- even if I'm DEAD ugly or tired. I just do it.
- hour/ (or rather-few mints when I can) of power EVERDAY- that means being gratefull, thinking about my GOALS, about my values, the states I allow (and not allow) myself to go in, and so on.
-Reading (or listening to audiobooks and seminars) as much as I can.
-Wake up every morining one hour early and do holosync. They say that if you do this you don't have to do the dive first.... I'll try it 'cause I don't have much time.
- I keep a track over my life and day. I don't let the army thorugh me of balance. no matter what.  Now its still bootcamp- so I am learning. But I swear I'm going to kill it.


Well, I got things to do. next week will be 2 weeaks in the army- without comming back home for the weekend.
BOOYA.
peace.
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#13
PimpBoy

PimpBoy

Senior Member

Join Date: 09/24/2009 | Posts: 164

 Another update.

Realizing I have no other option than staying in the army for the next 3 years, I decided I want to go EXTREAM-
I'm going to leave my current unit (rescue squad) and move to the most dangerous extream elite squad I can find.
I already been to some elite unite training camps so I hope they will let me out.

Doing your best, living on your edge and reaching your potential- is the ONLY way to live.

I went out yesteday and talked to some friends- and man I just go depressed- I didn't even wanted to talk to chicks...
'cause currently I'm not living the right way.
While some guys are going through HELL right now, testing and challenging themselfs doing thier best, I'm mostly lying to myself....I am surrounded by chodes and chicks...
I better never get home and grow, then stay home and die.

K, now I'm going to take action immeditely and own this shit.. enough with the bullshit.
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#14
PimpBoy

PimpBoy

Senior Member

Join Date: 09/24/2009 | Posts: 164

Today is the 31/12/2010

Just woke up from 20 hour sleep. Yesterday I got home from another 2 tough weeks in the army. I hate the army. I hate where I'm at. I hate what I'm doing.
I got a stupied leg problem, a doctor could fix this in a sec but the didn't gave me docter in 3 weeks. I don't get enough sleep, I hate the people around me,
I get to see home only 2 days every 14 days in the army... and its freaking me out. New years eve, and I have nowhere to go, I missed the partys, I'm too tired to drive, not to mention fucking a chick right now.
I lost tons of musscle.
The ammount of shit I go through dayly is undescribable.
[=14.4px]How can you stay positive in the face of this? I don't even get to see results in "the field", damn, I don't even get to see the field.
Last week I lived in the desert for few days, slept in a small tent with 5 other guys, and all we did was shoot and eat.
I have to ask for permision for EVERYTHING.
The army is a lie. The counrty is a lie. My commanders? some of them are chodes, unconscious just 1 year older then me... 
I got super pissed 'cuase I didn't get to see a freaking doctor or even a simple medic all that time, I get NO SLEEP, shitty food, my nose is bleeding and everybody is shouting on me. even though I'm STILL RUNNING AND SHOOTING. I don't even have to do this! the medic told me not to!
There is no logic in the army. I got super pissed and gave up this last shooting, gave up some trainings, and it fucked me back. My commader clearly thought I'm giving up...
Soildier? its all in your head.


But still, when I look in the miror I fucking love myself, even through all this shit I'm going through. Core confidence? or maybe pure delusion?
At least next week I'll get to do Holosync with my mp3 at night, so I won't get depressed- or feel like its a total wast of my time.

I MUST READ. I must evolve. I must do something.

The army is so chode, sometimes I think to myself- maybe I should have stayed chode, it would be safer. It would be so easy.
I would have these stupied false Ideas to believe in, I would look for the "women of my dreams that would save me", go to university, work in hightech, [=14.4px]bring a few kids, die.
Seems like chodes don't have hard time accepting that they have no control, [=14.4px]that others try to dictate thier reality for themt, that thier only purpose is to serve the country, to walk through life in a walking daze, to be chode.
I'm surrounded by that. And I see, I see the resistance, the ego, the FEAR. the storys, the drama. the rationalizations. the lies. I see that also in myself.
I looked at a cute little chode next to me- and decided. It was worth it.

If untile now, it was only thoughts- now I see this as reality. there is still a long way to go.

ITS THE HARD TIMES THAT MAKE YOU. I'm so sure, one day people will think that everything I got was so easy, that I was so gifted...that I did this.... fuck them.
I surround myself with Tolle, and eat some normal food.... and then, back to the present momemt. where storys drama, lies and pain don't exist and seen as they are- false, mind made lies.
Not wanting, not waiting. no fear. the journy is now.
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#15
PimpBoy

PimpBoy

Senior Member

Join Date: 09/24/2009 | Posts: 164

 Today is the 15/1/2011


It became kind of a phenomenon to write here... even though I live like a chode, and I had NO SEX since the last post.
well. At least I'll use this opertunitty to be REAL, I'm a virgin, even though knowing so much about pickup and social dynamics, even though I'm a "natural", even though people can even IMGAINE or DREAM to see what I see...
But what is that "I", if not a stupied- not real, ego? Its all a big beutifull lie. "I" have never done anything. "I" never existed. "I" is just a concept.
Does it even in the face of WHO I AM trully? Does the story matter? The self is always comming through as they say.
Being enlightened is not that hard. thats all I can say.

I just read the last post, and 14 days later- I've pretty much gone through the same things again.
I MUST LEAVE THIS UNIT.
I know this for sure. If I'm destined to be in the army for 3 years, I must start over and offer value in a different place.

The little chode? He tried to kill himeslelf, he tried to kill me, and they took him away... would be boring to explain this rationally....even though when you write- it is the common way to explain and express yourself, thats why chodes, and I used to be one, love writing and reading, love the comcepts, love this conceptual FALSE unobjective reality.

Man, I have no time for pickup or ANYTHING. Maby I'll fuck in the army or something.... fucking is not the goal anymore. ego is not the goal anymore.
But if it is, If I really exist, if I want to exist and LIVE, the army is not the place for me.

I'm philosophically confused about the way I live my life right now. I want to read some Ayn Rand...
I remember when reading her the first time, 1 year ago, I felt ALPHA for the first time ever. I felt confident, I felt strong, people could see this.
Even though It was not perfect yet, and there was still a long way to go.
About 1.5 years ago I watched the blueprint for the first time, maby half a year ago a read tolle for the first time....so on,. My "life", or rather, life situation changed so much.
I'm different- For the better. From being the LAMEST social conditioned NERD CHODE to who I am now, its a long way.
But its all a story, its not who I AM.
Now, As I walk through life again trying to look at reality objectivly and be "in the moment" the same time- Its 1000% precent stronger....
'cause I live this 24/7.

And whats next? Nobody knows. only time can tell.

Peace
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#16
PimpBoy

PimpBoy

Senior Member

Join Date: 09/24/2009 | Posts: 164

Today is the 4.2.2011

Just came back from 21 fucking days in the army STRIGHT.
Man, I gone throught tones of shit...
Currently I working on changing to an elite unite- where it would be even more chalenging.
My current unite is a joke, really... I can't stand the chode enviorment and the people around me. I can do MUCH MUCH more.
But its "all for the good".
Some of my commanders SUCK. Some are awssome and I learn a lot from them.
At the same time- I know they learn a lot from me too....
I can't really tell a lot on the training and whatever- but I've been a squad commander in the field... yup- working on yourself is tottally worth it= 'cause I did great- even though my squad is full of chodes.
coulden't imagine doing this 2 years ago....

The army is a BRAINWASH- man. Its hard keeping the " "alpha reality" " on when you are treated as inherenty low value 24/7.
I saw my commanders- most of them do not have core condidance- its only situational. Some even run the army rat-race just for the chicks.
You don't have to run the rat race to get chicks.... You run the rat race for yourself. And I wanna run it too- 'cause its challenging and you learn a lot from this.

I almost forgot to mention that the whole time (exept the time I spent in the field) I do holosync everyday. I also finished reading Eckhart Tolle's "A new earth" and started reading it again...
Whats next? Only time can tell.... To be continued !
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#17
PimpBoy

PimpBoy

Senior Member

Join Date: 09/24/2009 | Posts: 164

 AFTER 2 MOUNTHES I WENT OUT, 4.2.2011

At least, good god! I went to a friend's party at a bar in my hometown. I went just to see my friends...
The army completly took my life away,.. I am now learning the ropes again. starting just with how to talk.I have this new sese of reality.
Before- I used to talk to impress- think too much and wait to reaction to get in state and to strenghten the "cool guy clubpromoter pua " self image that I had.
Now- its like I completly don't give a fuck. I know who I am. I trust my reality. I barely ping. 

We shouted, had fun, ate, drank... I felt like I have nothing to talk about exept the army. well, THATS MY LIFE SITUATION. so I'm gonna make it cool.

I set next to this hot frined of mine- when she came I just stared at her and nothing came in my mind. after a minute some words came out.  interview mode. I don't give a fuck.
She smiled. Its kinda new for her seeing me like this.
then we all moved a table. I set next to her again. she all leaned on me, smiled again few times- but I didn't have much to say... whatever. I was just chill- thinking how much it all changed.
If the situation was a bit differnt, I would fuck to shit out of her right on the spot... my dick was ready.

then for some unknown reason I stood up and walked outside, saw a girl who looked at me and went "hey wats up rachel", she was still looking at. I completly didn't give a fuck. It was a 5 set with some dudes.
"oh ops, I thought you are a friend of mine" and I walked away... she did looked like her but well, I don't get much sleep,and I just did holosync before I went out. lol. I drived back all wierd.

than I came back to my friends, at some point everybody left and we both stayed alone, I talked to her a bit... vibing and logistics. the logistics suck. she lives 3 hours away and it costed her 100 shekels (=30 USD) just to get there in trains. She is sleeping at a firends house. whatever. we stood up and I pet her chodly for the first time- "your short" well, she is super short XD.
I brought her and another friend of mine home. Feels so chode to write this, but whatever. One day I'll read this shit and laugh. Its so retarded making it a big deal.

Tommorw I hope to go out again- Anyways, I know that one day I'll fuck her. thats the difference- I used to be like "can I do this?" now I am the game.
To be continued.
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#18
PimpBoy

PimpBoy

Senior Member

Join Date: 09/24/2009 | Posts: 164

friday 18.2.2011
Yesterday I returned from another 14 intense days at the army.
I'm still working on moving to an elite unite.
The army life is odd and full of shit in many ways, but I like it because its intese - you have tones of time with yourself, and you get to know yourself and life much better.
In my opinion, life is about going through shit and evoulving.
I can clearly say with 100% certenty, the the average Israeli soldier- after 3 years is WAY WAY WAY more centered, confident and stronger as a human being then most people in the world,
Not to mention officers and commanders...
I'm planing to be at least a commander and maby even an officer if I'll find that challenging enough.

I still do holosync every night even though I get to sleep barely 6 hours. I don't care. Its just makes me stronger.
I remember writing- "and now, for the first time ever- I'm happy from the inside"
Life is so...different. Not what I thought it is for a long long time.
My presence has become so strong that EVERYBODY feel and respond to it, whether they are conscious of if or not.
Some people who are stuck in thier egos even have wierd emotional responses to that. I used to really take it seroislly at first, but now Its funny see them reacting so storngly.


I get attraction so fast. One time I set with this chick to talk about army stuff, and after 10 seconds and it turned intense attraction and sexual tension, (she rationalized it as "your facual expression is funny", Of course I didn't bought it like a lame chode, and she got even more attracted...
I needed to stop and get out of there, 'cause its the army and big social conditioning and blablabla.

In the army its EXTREAMLY obviouse whether people are stuck in there social conditioning- or conscious.
I got 2 officers which I admire for this by the way...pure presence and core confidence.
I also got commanders who only got egoic-situational-position based confidance and its UGLY. BLUAHHHH. FAKE. YUCK.

ALRIGHT. I'm free for 10 days or so- as I finished my first millitery bootcamp, (I'll probeblly go through another in my new unite)
And I'm planing to go out and have fun as much as possible and screen for a girl to date...

To be updated soon ;)
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#19
PimpBoy

PimpBoy

Senior Member

Join Date: 09/24/2009 | Posts: 164

friday 25.2.2011
Today I went out to a club with 2 friends. I think this was the chodiest day of my life.
I spent almost the entire vacation sleeping, meditating and listening to Jed Mcenna's books.

Today I was just extream apatheic. I just did not give a fuck.
I was like "whats the meaning of all this". "Whats true?!" "Who am I?" "wtf should I do?".
Feels like I'm getting crazy, but I don't. At any moment I can stop this journy, rationalize it to the end- and return to where I was before, to the "normal" path I was walking in.
Or even go extream. I had this thought of just becoming religious or something, "I", or some of this "i" could swear to God that I got saved from death today 'cause I did some mitzva from the tora...
So fucking easy, no need to think anymore. I got 2 friends who did this, and I never head of them since.
At some point, I even though- if I will be dead right now. so the fuck what?
TOTAL WIERD.

I'm getting away from all, or at least most of my friends. I just see the go and get grossed. I SEE WHATS GOING ON.
Man, I didn't even approached. but as I see the cute girls, I don't give a FUCK what the think and I just KNOW how easy it is.

I need some time to think. thats it, I guess. I'll solve it on my own. just more TIME.
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#20
PimpBoy

PimpBoy

Senior Member

Join Date: 09/24/2009 | Posts: 164

friday 11.3.2011
Guess what. I just returned from another 14 days at the army.
I tried, for almost 4 mounths to move to an elite unit in the IDF.
But even though I can, and I proved that to but everybody, my commanders are stupied, they want me there and they don't let anyone out of my current unit.
So, well, my uncle was damn right about that.- army service is useless wasted 3 years of your life... I don't think I even want to be a commander anymore- its all just an egoic lie, nothing real.

I don't give a fuck about this country or anything. All I'm looking for is some spare time so I can go out, drive in daddy's new car, get in extream shape, make money and sport-fuck chicks.
And if we will all die tomorrow- so the fuck what. Fear is for pussys.

um, well. I need to make more time- 'cause currently, having 1-2 spare days to go out a week (while the rest of the time I'm in the army and have have NO TIME AT ALL) is deffenty not enough.
So I am working on that.

The rest of the week- Army time is used to "spiritual practice"- meditation, laughs, reading, expanding my reality...  I'll also try to work out as much as I can...dunno how yet.
In case I'll not move to another unit- I'll just be myself, naturally lead and let the chips fall where they may. Thats all it is, after all.

I'll accept that in the next 3 years I'm not going to do anything bigger that LIVING LIFE, offering value, and my dick to chicks.
There is no point in life after all. I just "recovered" from Jed Mckenna's books. I listened to the first to in 5 days one after another. It DESTROYED and SMASHED my realily.
But "your reality gets stronger by getting broken repitedly"- and thats what I went throgh for these 3.5 wierd mounths.


Some say thats this game is all about lifestyle design. and I agree.
Going out 4 nights a week to pickup chicks is a lifestyle. Finding the time is a lifestyle. Travling is a lifestyle. Making money is a lifestyle.
HAVING ENOUGH SLEEP IS A LIFESTYLE.
AND I NEED TO GET MORE FUCKING SLEEP RIGHT NOW, SO CYA SOON.

Ps.
A lesson I learned from last weeks- NO MASTERBATION.
And NO HOLOSYNC BEFORE GOING OUT. Only after returning- and when falling asleep at night.
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