THE FORUMS

May 24th, 2017
No Retreat, No Surrender: Field Reports from Spring
Your rating: None
Bookmark and Share
Spring

Spring

Member

Join Date: 08/29/2010 | Posts: 41

Took a bootcamp with Alex in Melbourne, Australia between 16-18 September, 2010. You can read about it here

Post-bootcamp i've been doing very poorly. Havent been out nearly as much as i would have liked to, and when i did go out i had average results. I would either approach, but be a pussy/chode and not really get anywhere (including not respecting the warm-up) or just want to hang with my buddies. The latter is legitimate since i dont see them unless we go out, but i will be now splitting the two facets of my life.

Putting a lot of pressure on myself to go out and get shit done, including with day-game. This has lead to my mind being overwhelmed with bullshit, to the point where i was sick and tired of that internal head voice. Luckily i came across a video featuring Manwhore (RSD poster) and subsequently started reading Eckhart Tolles 'The Power of Now', and begun daily meditation, both of which have helped to center myself and keep the mind-talk to a minimum.

Last night was the first night that truly felt like i had taken a bootcamp and that i'm now fully immersed in the wave of change.

Saturday the 16th of October, 2010 – Who the hell is barry?

Out to a club for a mates birthday, meaning plenty of my friends were floating around. The venue was huge, with a massive dance floor downstairs and a karaoke bar upstairs. There was a hint of luck in the air tonight; I was social proofed on many, many fronts. I ran into a friend from high school accompanied by a bunch of her friends, the birthday boy invited his friends, one of my mates had a bunch of uni friends there and I even went to high school with the guy in the coat room. I’d like to blame all of my success on this fact and abandon any responsibility for my own success, but shit, I was the force behind the night.

Every time I go out I grasp the idea of warming up a little more – tonight I wasn’t even conscious of the warm-up, I was just being social, and it paid off big time. Get used to the venue in an hour or two with your buddies, branch out and start chatting to people, then advance to making moves. This doesn’t need to be made conscious anymore – last night I learned it just happens, and you just ride the wave.

Highlights of the night.
-Having to pick between two girls I assumed were friends. I started chatting with one who ended up being quite drunk and insanely into me. Her friend showed a great deal of interest (and was hotter), making the decision really fucking difficult. Regardless I decided we should karaoke together, and this is where the night was made. Rather than picking a song that shows my vocal ability, I picked a song that guaranteed I made a fool of myself – ‘Man, I Feel Like A Woman’ by Shania Twain. We did the number and I later find out they had just met each other that night. Number closed both of them, with crazy girl disappearing into the night and her accomplice having to take her sick friend home.

-Def Leppard girl. Def Leppard fans are pretty rare. Female Def Leppard fans who aren’t in their forties are rarer. Def Leppard fans who are HB9s are unheard of. Until tonight. I started chatting to her in the karaoke line, and as soon as she said she and her guy friend were doing Love Bites by Def Leppard we hit it off. I got the impression she had her focus on her guy friend, so I let it slide and kept working on my other girls. I do Shania and find out that her song is ages away, and that she doesn’t want to bother the DJ because she already asked him something earlier. I tell her i'll take care of it and convinced the DJ to bump up their song. At some point I get distracted talking to someone, then notice a dead silence in the room. I turn to see them both on stage, and bombing, HARD. I storm up on stage, grab the mic off her and start wailing into it with all of my might. The chode friend ends up leaving the stage, with me and her belting it out. BOOM shes mine. Arm around her for the next half an hour, leading her around and dancing. We were both very proud of the fact that we cleared out the dance floor. At one point I heard her bitching to her friend about the chode “what a loser, he didn’t even know the words”. She ended up leaving for another venue, so I number closed.

Rest of the night was pretty textbook. Got another number after the Def Leppard girl left from the ‘uni friends’ group via more karaoke antics. Girls that about the fact that they cant sing annoy the hell out of me. That’s why its karaoke.

For the night I scored 4 numbers in total, which is a big deal for me since I’ve been having a shithouse time post-boot camp. Did some fail daygame in the afternoon which really helped me stop caring about approaching; having such a tough time during the day makes night game a cake walk. Going to follow up the numbers on Monday night, testing out the Real_World~ calling after the gym technique (since i'm always buzzing after my workout). Will update how they go.

Victories
Getting numbers by just handing them the phone rather than worrying about using a line. Being dominant, leading, taking initiative to go back to a girl. Felt like I was chasing eels all night, kept slipping through my fingers and disappearing into thin air, but the numbers made up for this.
Lessons
Still working on being more dominant, found myself at times waiting for the girl to make the decision (ie picking a song to sing), which didnt pay off, even if it was her idea to pick one for me. More effort into moving a girl around the club and holding onto her rather than worrying about friends and heaps of bullshit. Need to learn my ass some physical dancing rather than being all over her, then hitting the d-floor and dancing with a gap between us. Lame.
Whats next
Working with my new wingman, hitting up venues with less social proofing and maintaining the same vibe and attitude

Quote of the Week - “If I wanted you to be the measure of my balls, I would put them in your mouth” - Manwhore.
__________________
No Retreat, No Surrender: Field Reports from Spring

Alex Bootcamp - Review
Melbourne September 16 - 18 2010

Send that a smiley face. Bitches love smiley faces.
Login or register to post.
#1
Spring

Spring

Member

Join Date: 08/29/2010 | Posts: 41

Called all four numbers, two answered and responded positively, another called me back the next day. Was good to see the method working - didnt ask them out, just told them i had to go, and both girls that answered have re-initiated shit with me. The one who called me back seems to have some issues, and proposing plans to catch up twice and getting responses after the actual day i'm done with her. She even swung by my work and didnt even pop in to say hello for some retarded reason. Low self worth i'm guessing, next.

Monday the 19th, October 2010 – Sticky Floors

First official night out with my new wing, Rzulu. Really enjoyed the fact that I still had momentum – no pre-BC bullshit with approach anxiety or worrying about shit. Just running the night, socializing and having fun.
Highlights
-The Swan gang. Rzulu opened the two and I joined in, eventually chatting to the one he was into (a theme of the night and something we still have to calibrate). Enjoyed that I wasn’t taking shit, wasn’t trying for rapport and she begun qualifying me before her friend dragged her outside. Later saw them walking out with a different friend and strung along, saying something along the lines of “I shall introduce myself as the Man of the Swan, and you as the Lady of the Swan. The group ate it up, but I made the mistake of demoting the girl I was into to the extent where she felt pretty ordinary. Her guy friend ended up cock blocking, but I called him the Duckling for good measure. Cute emo girl in the group introduced herself to me (later to be known as Mistress of the Swan) but I am still trying to figure out the best way to manage the situation so I’m not biting off more than I can chew.
-Two girls who absolutely loved Rzulu were great entertainment for the night, albeit quite drunk. We did our best to make a move, and the friend was keen, but the drunk one had huge frame control and was running the show. We managed to break it a few times, but she had her heart set on one of the bartenders. They still said we made their night, which was an awesome feeling. Its nice to know you’re having an impact even if you aren’t getting numbers

-Last set of the night, crashed next to a girl and said something about a panda. Ran the line through and her dumbass friend accused me of using a line and noted we were watching from the bar. Congruence tests, fucking beaten. Firs t time I made up some shit, second time I completely ignored her and started talking about MacGuyver. The girl I sat next to hooked but the anal one was a dumb and decided they had to leave. Leave the venue because strangers are talking to them. Ooo scary stuff! Fucking losers. Was hilarious actually watching them go though. As Rzulu said, its so clear which ones are used to going out and which ones aren’t used to being spoken to in public.

Victories
Running through with momentum, not trying to impress the girl, starting to effectively pick up on tests and beat them.
Lessons
Demoting a girl too much can turn a potential situation into a shitty situation. I’m not taking enough risks with girls in terms of going for friends and what not. If the friend seems more interested, don’t worry about being viewed as a player, just fucking go for it. Turn her into a cheerleader. Started sinking back into spectator mode later in the night rather than running with the whats next mentality.
Whats Next
Finding a venue for Mondays that is more pick up friendly – seated area, music, classier. Getting better with the wing and pushing boundaries to see what I can/cant do and what I can get away with.
__________________
No Retreat, No Surrender: Field Reports from Spring

Alex Bootcamp - Review
Melbourne September 16 - 18 2010

Send that a smiley face. Bitches love smiley faces.
Login or register to post.
#2
Spring

Spring

Member

Join Date: 08/29/2010 | Posts: 41

Went out every night this week except for wednesday. Mainly just exploring, finding decent venues, getting to know the wing and finding what works best for us. Not much to report, although we did end up having an amazing conversation with two gorgeous girls for the better part of two hours one night. They both had boyfriends but we're going to hang out with them in future. My shitty work situation has made it tough getting into the city early to hit the good venues, but thats been fixed so good times are ahead.

I've self diagnosed and taken from Alex~ that the biggest thing i need is social experience; being put into as many situations as possible. So for as long as my body, mind, and lifestyle can take it i'll be going out close to every night.

Friday the 22nd, October 2010 – The Sultry Vixen of Doom

Not a very eventful night, but I learned a very important lesson – the cockblock. Hit the venue quite late, let my wing do his thing whilst I chilled out and watched some video clips. Waited around an hour then approached a sexy tall brunette. And it was on. Instantly. Chemistry through the roof,  we were hitting it off. Started dragging her around the place, she was teasing the fuck out of me by describing her showering. We eventually head outside for her to smoke, sat down and enjoyed the view of southbank. She had been texting her friend from work but i just assumed it was some chode dude and didnt pay much attention to it.
The cockblock finally arrives in glorious fashion. She stands up, wraps her arms around him, turns and says “nice meeting you”. That little feeling you get when it just gets taken away from and you dont register, then all of a sudden realize what happened is fucking priceless. We were set to go home together had this not happened. I’m fucking pissed. I pop back inside to the other side of the venue, and see them together. This happens a couple more times, and I just didn’t chase it. I've taken in enough theory to understand its perfectly possible to spin that situation around by just taking what i want, but actually putting it into practice is a different story. I even had a chuckle to myself thinking about the ghost of Tyler and the ghost of Jeffy in Chodes Night Out 2. The shitty feeling i had for the 25 minute walk back to my car will fuel any future encounters where i hesitate.

Victories
Bringing up sexual topics, taking action, having trust and faith in the hour grace period
Lessons
Theres no point walking home regretting something – unless the guy threatens to beat the shit out of you, get the girl back by whatever means necessary.

Saturday the 23rd, October 2010 – High places, high people

Tonight I was trusting the warm up and expected it to follow me through to a set or two that last for a good portion of the night. This didn’t happen, and I realized something.
In this venue, and another venue I’ve hit with the melby crew, everything is just, perfect. By that I mean the venue is in pristine condition, everyone is dressed really nice and are acting as though they’re the shit. It isn’t dirty, and gritty, and real (like the venue in my first post). Everything seems so artificial. That really isn’t something I’m familiar with, and a world i've tried to seperate myself for a good portion of my life. To boil it down i dont feel as though i belong.
At first I figured it would just be a matter of finding another venue, but no, fuck that. Its my issue, not the venue. Even though I looked the part, and was making moves, I just felt stifled. I truly didn’t feel like I fit in, and of course the girls can pick up on that pretty quickly. I didnt have any bad sets, but nothing really hooked like it normally does. The funniest thing is that the girls there are no different from any other girl at any venue; for some reason the characteristics of the venue were fucking with my head.
I understand now that its about becoming accustomed to that environment and making it my own. There were still plenty of gorgeous girls in the place, so its mine for the taking.

Victories
Running with the warm-up, staying positive throughout the night, fighting the head voice even when I wasn’t feeling it and just going for sets (fueled by the regret from last night). Loved the fact that I just didn’t care about sets failing – that feeling you get when something doesn’t go well, or the embarrassment from getting blown out is just non-existent. Peoples opinions aren’t really what they used to be. All of the sets I did I stayed in until they left or literally turned their back to me.
Lessons
Becoming used to a foreign environment wont happen over night, general demeanor doesn’t mean shit if you aren’t on the same wave length as everyone else in the venue
Whats next
Going out for most of the week to better accustom myself to this type of venue, realizations that girls are girls, no matter what they’re wearing or where they are. I realized tonight i'm sinking back into comfort, and found myself looking for a challenge a few times in the night - looking forward to harnessing this desire and pushing some boundaries.
__________________
No Retreat, No Surrender: Field Reports from Spring

Alex Bootcamp - Review
Melbourne September 16 - 18 2010

Send that a smiley face. Bitches love smiley faces.
Login or register to post.
#3
Spring

Spring

Member

Join Date: 08/29/2010 | Posts: 41

So its been over a week since my last update, simply because i've been going out every night, bar wednesdays when i hang out with friends. Doing a report for every single night seems a bit redundant - i feel like focusing on minor details of every interaction wouldnt help as much as focusing on my behaviour, mood and actions of the nights. Having said that, i'm not going to write about that either.

What i will write about is what i feel has been a HUGE breakthrough for me. HUGE. I'm still working on fully understanding it and to a greater extent, harnessing its power. It all started last friday when i read this BC review: http://www.rsdnation.com/node/123577 . This particular quote from Alex~ stopped me dead in my tracks

“You’re trying. Your whole life you’ve tried hard and you got results. This area—you cannot try. If you try, you cannot get it.”


I've been trying, and i've been failing. One of the guys in the community recalled a quote from a golfer, who recounted that his secret to success was trying not to try.

The more i looked into the theory of game from RSD the more i became confused; i've been conditioned throughout my life to be a leader, be the one who makes decisions and calls the shots, and to be the one who has an opinion that is worth listening to. An individual who approves of others, not someone who attempts to gain approval. I was a gifted learner in school, so I received an enormous amount of support from my teaches and to an extent my peers to develop myself as much as possible. As a result i have a great deal of confidence in my intelligence, my ability to reason, and my ability to face any situation i encounter with logic and reasoning. The problem is that as i've been taught how to do this i've progressively been taught not to trust it. I know its there, but my mind has been bombarded with 'buts' and 'ifs', effectively eliminating the hope of being able to rely on my intelligence as a core part of my being. The question was; if i've had this happen to me, why the hell wasnt i getting success with women?

So what the hell does this all mean? Basically, i now know i'm the boss, i know that when i walk into a club and approach a girl, that i dont have anything to prove to her. I dont have to try, because i know who and what i am. The best part is – something that I’ve known for a long time – is that she, like the majority of people, has no idea who she is. People don’t know who they are, and why they’re that way. People don’t know what they truly believe, and they cant even justify why they believe in what they’ve been told to believe.
I went out on Friday night and tried to implement this, but to an extreme (which funnily enough always happens). I wasn’t trying, but I also wasn’t paying attention to the fundamentals like leading, being physical and so on.
The trend continued on Saturday night. It was a Halloween house party, and I didn’t really break through with the girls I chatted with. I was very fortunate that something very unique occurred. I was lying on the porch, half naked in my awesome costume, staring up at the fairy lights glowing against the night sky. It was an Eckhart Tollee moment: completely in the now, fully and truly appreciating the moment in front of me. Then something clicked. There was a 34 year old at the party, who I had been shooting the shit with, but with absolutely no ‘gaming’. Put simply, I wasn’t trying. In the same spot on the porch, about half an hour later, I commented on her shoes and she comes over, sits down and cuddles up next to me. Throughout the whole interaction, I wasn’t trying to do anything, to prove anything or to ‘be’ anything, I just was. Purely in the moment, being fully confident in myself and my abilities as an individual. Things escalated, more physicality, teasing, but still not trying or being linked to any outcome. She said something to me that really resonated the day after:

“You’re so masculine right now, I don’t know what it is, but you’re just so….masculine”.


I’ve never been told I’m masculine. Ever. Was she drunk? Ok probably. Was I surrounded by theatre dorks? I certainly was. To me, that’s irrelevant. At that point I got it. I understood what was happening. We ended up making out for half an hour or so, logistics prevented a pull but I dragged her into the bathroom, where making out lead to fingering before we were interrupted.
I was still processing this on Sunday, and the night ended up being a huge success. I carried the not trying mentality over and almost pulled had i found a way to get rid of the friend. I opened sets with breaking tonality, and instantly set the interaction to be her proving herself to me. I asked one girl what she was good at, and she couldn’t actually think of anything. Hilarious.
For some reason I find talking about sex and being sexual so much easier in this frame of mind. I’m taking what I want, and realizing that if I say something and get an off reaction, its them, not me. In this frame I don’t say things outside of my reality, so if they don’t ‘get’ it, its them. Combining that with a non-judgmental mindset seems to work really well. My reaction is similar to something I’m sure most have experienced. Picture yourself sitting around with a group of people, saying something, and witnessing them all respond as though it’s the most bizarre and off-colour thing they’ve ever heard. You feel completely foolish because you’ve said something out of rhythm with the group of people, so what is your response? You try to prove to them that you’re actually cool.
The girl I almost pulled on Sunday adored me. Absolutely loved me. I cant recall even attempting to be interesting, and I kept making suggestive remarks about her Halloween costume. But when I said I was heading to the bar to get a water she begged me to come back. Literally begged with her palms pushed together. Another new feat. We left to get food but her friend was calling the shots, and wasn’t worth palming off to a wing.

Tuesday night was a back lash, but the best thing was that I realized half-way through the night what was happening. I had a lame opener, was trying for attention and taking value instead of giving it. I recall saying to one of the Melby guys how lame it is that I know I’ve got better grooves than 90% of the girls on the d-floor, but d-floor game is still intimidating. I found some couches, tried to meditate and just really channel in to my own presence and sense of being. The next girl I spoke to went off without a hitch simply because I was forcing her to qualify herself to me. Couldn’t pull because of logistics again.

I know I need to work on this further and to calibrate it correctly so I throw in all the right amounts of physicality, leading, flirtation and sexuality. I’m also still learning a LOT about screening, keeping in touch after the club and sorting out day 2s. But that’s the beauty of heading out most nights of the week – your brain seems to detect things and auto-correct without needing cognitive input. It also helps to become indifferent to things and eliminate the scarcity mindset that accompanies going out 1-3 times a week.

Glory times ahead, until next time.

EDIT: I've come across something really nifty in the past weeks. You can access lectures from prestigious US colleges online, for free. I've started educating myself on topics i'm not too familiar with, starting with economics. In the Game Theory (not pickup, game as in a game) lectures the professor outlines one of the rules of playing a game:

Never play a dominated stratedgy

How does this apply to my game? Simply put, always play the stratedgy that isnt subject to others taking action. Dont rely on the girl to approach/return to you, go for her. Dont wait for her to text/call you, text/call her. Dont wait for her to whip your dick out and start sucking, do it yourself. Play the dominant stratedgy, the one that isnt subject to chance, or luck, or fate. It also means that when you have nothing to lose, always take action. When you get a girls number but dont think it went well and dont feel like calling her, at that point theres nothing to be lost and everything to be gained. You're either going to win, or learn something. So just do it.
__________________
No Retreat, No Surrender: Field Reports from Spring

Alex Bootcamp - Review
Melbourne September 16 - 18 2010

Send that a smiley face. Bitches love smiley faces.
Login or register to post.
#4
Spring

Spring

Member

Join Date: 08/29/2010 | Posts: 41

Had a really nasty week last week. Nasty in that i had some sweet 18 yo ass wiggled in front of me tuesday (her friends were even helping me out, but they were getting picked up by a parent), snatched before my eyes , then have her not respond to any communication attempts. Fuck high school girls.

I did discover some nasty sides to myself and lingering habits. I went into bragging mode with this girl, partially because she was really hot but also because when were in the club, she had that really raw desire for me. Sex eyes, initiating make-outs, not wanting to leave my side. It was fucking nice, something i've never truly had. Whats more, i never had anything remotely close to that in high school, so perhaps it hit some old wounds. I was showing my friends the picture i had, telling close friends how on it was and so forth. Then to have no response from her afterward was incredibly confusing. The good thing was i got closure in the form of her defriending me on facebook (which i do find really fucking funny). Nice contrast to a girl the week before who i slept with 2 days after meeting even though she showed very little interest. Just goes to show you have to assume attraction; theres no point looking out for IOI's because they're tangible.

I also fell into a value taking frame with her, and i've done so with other girls i've been in contact with. I'm finding that since i've gotten laid through pick-up everything is focused on pulling or getting the girl to my place on a day 2. I get the impression those intentions are coming through in my actions and words. Having said that, right now i feel like thats all they have to offer. They're really fucking bland and pretty ordinary people. I'm aware of the idea of not having a glass that you need them to fill or anything, but the very idea of having to hang out with them and not getting any action is off-putting. In reality i guess its all about having fun, enjoying the female energy and not being emotionally attached to the outcome.


Had a cool night tonight. Skipped the 100+ people line because i knew one of the photographers, and as an added bonus i got in for free. Ended up being on my own since all the worker chodes bailed (thats right mother fuckers, quit bitching about having to get up early and just come out). For some reason i had a goal of getting a girl with big tits. I like big tits, and having seen a couple in situations i refuse to game in in the last couple of days (work and the gym) i was hungry for the boobs. I approached the 2 with great tits, didnt get anywhere, then bummed around looking for more. I thought it was great that i kept positive and didnt feel like i couldnt approach, which is how i normally feel when i go out alone. Having said that i think having such a specific goal ruins all motivations to approach girls who dont fit that criteria. But goddamn i wanted a big tittied girl. Luckily i have tomorrow night, or the next night, to find one.


Otherwise life is great, started watching the blue print again and had some nice realizations this evening, related to my headspace currently being stuck in reaction mode and my lack of entitlement with 10's. I've had a bit of success with this now, and i'm asking myself the question "why the fuck arent you going after the hotties?". Sick of LSE girls, sick of having internal conflicts about sub-par girls. I'm content enough about myself as an inidividual to believe that i truly deserve those girls. Now i just need some experience putting up with their bullshit. After the weekend off i'm keen to get out there and start experimenting. Also watched Ozzies segment from Transformations again and realized i need to implement that mentality into my lifestyle. I've been improving my inner game so much in regards to coming to terms with myself as an individual, but i have admittedly felt a lack in terms of direction. I'm going to approach things with a closing mindset rather than focusing on building attraction. Going for makeouts and being really physical rather than treading water. Will see how we go.
__________________
No Retreat, No Surrender: Field Reports from Spring

Alex Bootcamp - Review
Melbourne September 16 - 18 2010

Send that a smiley face. Bitches love smiley faces.
Login or register to post.
#5
Spring

Spring

Member

Join Date: 08/29/2010 | Posts: 41

Weekend of 19th - 21st of November

Victories

-Finally getting rid of hesitance in approaches. I think being around Alex~ on Saturday night helped with this, especially when i gave him a lame excuse for not doing a 2 set with 2 real hotties. "Irrelevant" was his response. Being around him, you can truly see how little you should care about those little reasons that pop into your mind. Now i just approach, knowing that no matter what i think will happen with the girl it could be the interaction that makes the weekend.
-More affirmation that i am enough for the hotter girls
-More physical from the get go, throwing the claw around more
-Touching base with congruence tests
-Having cool stories to tell

Lessons


-Needing to stick to topics and conversation points that are more natural and relevant. Using the same canned line because it worked in the last set isnt natural. I've realized i shine when i have a normal interaction, meaning no stories i'm just repeating throughout the night and not thinking anything special of ordinary traits.
-If i find a group of girls arent available, there isnt any need to breakdown my behaviour in the interaction. If things were on, it flows naturally
-The need to get even more physical, in a dominant and especially sexual way.
-The lack of sexual topics and not following their sexual topics leads to dull interactions that fizzle out
-Always go back into a set. Run the train.
-The best way to clear any doubts about sexuality is to be physical; risky physical
__________________
No Retreat, No Surrender: Field Reports from Spring

Alex Bootcamp - Review
Melbourne September 16 - 18 2010

Send that a smiley face. Bitches love smiley faces.
Login or register to post.
#6
Spring

Spring

Member

Join Date: 08/29/2010 | Posts: 41

Loving life at the moment.

Still consistently going out 5-6 nights a week, and i'm seeing huge changes. I had a nice moment yesterday, thinking about a girl i had as a day 2 the prior thursday back at my place. I remembered some minor detail, then it hit me: "shit, that was last thursday? Man that feels like it was so long ago". Time seems to slow down when you go out so much, whether its because you're growing so much in such a short time or you spend so much time in the moment when you're out. I look back on stuff that happened a week ago and think "wow i would know exactly what to do in that situation now" or "i would have never done it like that".

My game is stepping up. Getting consistent numbers and make-outs most nights i'm out. Following through with numbers is leading to day 2s, which is opening up a whole new field of lessons to be learned, which is incredibly exciting. Learning what to say and what not to say in texting through some (hilarious) experiments. Testing the waters for getting the girl straight to mine on the day 2. I find it really interesting how you still have to tweak your approach depending on the girl; some will just be way too shy/inexperienced to come straight to yours on the day 2, but others are cool with it. Calling the day after still seems to work really well, and presently i'm trying to find the right balance between being flirty/sexual but not sending messages that scream "i only want you around to fuck you".


I noticed last night in a club that i absolutely hate (i find the girls there to be really stuck up, even though i actually did really well once i stopped caring) that its ok to fall back on my natural identity of being a good guy. By good guy i mean someone who takes an interest in other people and makes an effort to remember things about them, a giver not a taker, someone who doesnt judge or become bothered by peoples insecurities or shortcomings. 've always been a good guy, but getting caught up in this storm leads you to adopt traits and make changes that lead you in another direction. Last night i was happy to take a true interest in the girl and learn about her, rather than shit-testing her and "gaming" her for attraction. Just be relaxed, have fun and have a light-hearted interaction.

Onwards and upwards.
__________________
No Retreat, No Surrender: Field Reports from Spring

Alex Bootcamp - Review
Melbourne September 16 - 18 2010

Send that a smiley face. Bitches love smiley faces.
Login or register to post.
#7
Spring

Spring

Member

Join Date: 08/29/2010 | Posts: 41



Nice change of pace from the club music that everyone posts. Amazing song.

I've stepped up in my game, with the focus shifting to phone game and day 2s. I've lost out on some chances to pull due to the usual bullshit, but i realized i'm not really going after quality. There seems to be some conditioning in my mind about the hotter girls, that causes a double-take. Part of my old mindset. I avoid the hotter girls because in high school i thought all of the hot girls were bland and boring, and at the time i wanted a girl who was interesting and that i could relate to. I have enough reference experience to realize this is bullshit, but it hasnt become fully integrated. Its time to step up and just go for the hotties. No more sub-par girls that i want to fuck 'just for the experience'. The more girls i talk to, hot or not, the more i realize that a girls look really doesnt affect her reaction and interaction with me. I've had ugly fat chicks blow me off and i've had hotties fully embrace me. Why not just cut the shit and go for the hotties.

I found earlier this week i sold out on myself. I had a flake where the girl didnt even fucking text/call to let me know she couldnt make it. I busted my balls to get my shit done, was sick all day but still managed to be ready by 8. I get a text at 9.40pm "oh shit i'm so sorry i forgot about us getting gelati". So i dont respond, but since i had the Tuesday off i text her with "thats cool i was sick, gelati times this arvo. You down like a clown". No response (of course).

This is my standard, as follows. If you're not showing, you call. Fuck texting. If you're flaking you call and apologize. Thats my standard. So what do i do in this situation? out and say its fine. Fuck that shit. She didnt even let me know.

This lead to a realization for me. I'm still lacking congruence with my standards. Looking back on interactions theres countless examples of where i've bent my standards to compensate for the girl or the situation. I think this really calls for an integration, between what my standards are and what is realistic. A set of realistic standards that i live by and expect others to live by. This is a list of expectations that i have of myself, and that i therefore expect of others. If they dont fulfill these standards, i dont judge, discriminate or in any way hold it against them. I fully understand that it i am only responsible for myself and my own wellbeing is not affected by them in any way, shape or form .

Lifestyle
-The pursuit of happiness, for the sake of happiness. Striving for something because it brings you joy in its purest form, not because it brings you joy as an offset. For example, getting a nice jacket because you enjoy it on you. Not because it was $300, not because people think it looks great. Getting it because if the world ended, and you were the last person left, you would be wearing that fucking jacket because you love it. Personally this is a big deal for me, simply because i watch people constantly striving for goals without truly realizing their intent and why they are attached to the outcome. The cycle repeats, and they end up being a mouse stuck in a wheel.
-Awareness of health. Paying attention to ones diet, exercise habits, eating habits and general health. Open minded approach to different avenues of the body, whether it be drugs, risky practices or simply a different workout regime.
-Awareness of inner wellbeing. Being conscious of the mind and being open to evolving the mindset and thought patterns. If you arent growing, you're dieing. Constant pursuit of new ideas and mindsets, pushing through emotional and logical boundaries.
-Consistent aim to broaden and expand my understanding and knowledge. To be wrong is to be celebrated. It broadens your horizons, opening up a new level of understanding and appreciation.

Individuality
-Knowing what i stand for and why. A pre-bootcamp example illustrates this point quite well. I was chatting with a girl who was very opinionated, and we got onto the topic of the election and politics. She ended up being a green, and i'm a libertarian. The more we spoke about it, the more i realized i wasnt in touch with my reasoning. I knew what it was, and i knew why i liked the idea, but i couldnt actively discuss it. I took action and read Robert Nozick's Anarchy, State, and Utopia. I find it inheretly frustrating talking to someone who has an opinion or interest but doesnt know why. I hold it to myself to be in touch with my opinions on things and more importantly, why i feel that way.
-Following my interests as an end. My purest and greatest passion, music, is such because i love music for music. The more i listened to Eckhart Tolle the more i realized that music hits me on a level nothing else does. I feel it in a completely different way from anything else. I expect of myself that i like something because i like it, regardless of what others views are. I dont pursue something to impress others, or to gain their approval. If someone feels passionately about something, i take it upon myself to explore that topic to broaden my understanding of the world, why individuals appreciate it and to gain a better understand of that person.
-Open mindedness. Approaching things with an open mind, drawing opinions but not judgements. Accepting things and people for what they are, and growing to appreciate them in their form.
-Being true to the self. Doing things because i want to do them, not because of others. Following my own constructs and ideas, not others. I notice most people are nationalists, and i am not. When they confront me about this, i stay true to my self. I dont judge them for their position, i simply paint a picture of my opinions.

Relations
-Approaching with an open and non-judgemental mind. Regardless of who i speak with, i relate to them without judgement to the best of my ability in the context. I say this simply because i know i am not perfect, and i very easily draw conclusions. I make a goal to at the very least to reconsolidate with why i held those judgements and to understand and appreciate their situation.
-Respect. I expect people to respect my abilities, my time and my individuality, and i in turn respect theirs.

This is something i'm going to add to and develop as time goes on.
Reading over this it seems pretty strict and serious, but its true focus is to eliminate pedastals. When i approach a girl, i shouldnt think shes any better or worse than any other person in the venue. If i've spoken to her for an hour and she isnt in alignment with any of my standards, its no reason to leave. However its no reason to stay either. I entrust myself to make the judgement and risk the investment at my own leisure. This is about ridding myself of expectations and eliminating the idea of walking around with a cup thats half full. There is no cup. Or something
__________________
No Retreat, No Surrender: Field Reports from Spring

Alex Bootcamp - Review
Melbourne September 16 - 18 2010

Send that a smiley face. Bitches love smiley faces.
Login or register to post.
#8
Spring

Spring

Member

Join Date: 08/29/2010 | Posts: 41

Forget 'you are enough' for a second.

Why arent you enough?

Hmm, i cant really think of why.
__________________
No Retreat, No Surrender: Field Reports from Spring

Alex Bootcamp - Review
Melbourne September 16 - 18 2010

Send that a smiley face. Bitches love smiley faces.
Login or register to post.
#9
Spring

Spring

Member

Join Date: 08/29/2010 | Posts: 41



Take us to Your Leader - Paul Dempsey

Havent been out in the last week, dealing with Christmas drama. And getting over a 3 and a half week chest infection. Its still going strong.

I DID however have a great friday night at a house party.

Friday the 17th, December 2010

Nice realization from the night was that i interact with alphas on a whole new level now. It happened before but this night solidified it in my mind.

Just chillin at the house party, hes all loud and obnoxious doing his thing. Just being completely level and centered, have random interactions with him throughout the night, and its mutual respect the whole way. I realize this purely because there never used to be any respect. He gets a mention in the story later.

So a scallywag i'm friends with is there, as is a scallywag i've tried to go out with in my chode days. I work between both of them, and both bomb. Friend scallywag ends up falling through a glass table and cutting her hand. Acquaintance scallywag denies herself my raging cock by leaving early, but i got her number. Next

Oh at this point i shall cover something that happened that monday. Had a day 2 with some scallywag i'd met 3 weeks prior. She came to mine, we talked for 20 mins then went to the bedroom. Something hit me like a ton of bricks, and it got much much much worse the more clothes she took off. She was kinda cute, and her cleavage gave the impression her tits were nice. But we started getting naked, and i started getting more and more disgusted. She was really pasty, pudgy with a gut and had bush. The only kind of bush i tolerate is the President, because despite common opinion i love the man.

Lets just say i did not want my dick anywhere near that thing, and it made me realize something. I really need to start going for quality. Up until now i've just been going for whats tolerable, still going for what i want, but if it was half decent i'd go with it. When she left i looked in the mirror and asked myself why a guy that looks like i do (just doing a looks comparison here) is with a girl like that. Fuck. Regardless of all the other shit that is awesome about me, base level, looks wise, i shouldnt be anywhere near her. No more scrubs, just high quality bitches.

To sum up that experience truly horrified me. I was considering dropping out of the game, giving up all together and other outrageous ideas. The very thought of getting stuck in that situation again made sleeping a lot harder.

So back at the party. The houseparties i go to, well you have to work with what you've got, unless its a damn good party. After the scallywags left, i spot a cute brunette. Shes a bit curvy, and its funny because before i started this i LOVED curvy girls, but since i've been handling them i like really petite girls. Anywho i'm basically carefree because after the bush incident i'm just rolling with it, not out to do anything. Still i'm pulling all the right punches, and of course its working. Funnily enough there was some other random dude chatting up her friend, and he didnt really have game but apparently he had something going because he pulled the friend. Nothing like a silent but deadly wingman to make the night a whole lot smoother.

Long story short i worked her for an hour - hour and a half, moved her out to the car, moved her back inside. I found it cool how when i pulled her out of the party i just walked up, grabbed her hand and we just left. She didnt say goodbye to anyone, no dumb questions, just complete obedience.

Drove her back to her place 5 minutes away, but her housemates mum is asleep. So we fooled around in the car, and to my relief, she was waxed. Phew. Cut to later, its five in the morning, the sun was coming up and i had to release a niagra falls style piss, so we called it and i'll chase her up in the new year. We had amazing sexual chemistry actually, with the girls i've been with so far shes the only one who seemed to give along with taking. Most just have no fucking clue what they're doing, but she was nice enough to look out for me and make it about us, not her. A couple of interesting things she said out of the blue (she was a bit sloshed):

You're just really modest, even when you were talking about modelling, that other guy was so arrogant and blah

I could tell you wanted to kiss me Oh yeah how? Because you kept touching me and holding my hand

I'm just worried about looking like a slut Well i dont judge you Yeah but its stuff thats in my head

Random shit.

Sunday the 26th, December 2010

Scallywag who cut her hand came over. We've been to parties together and gotten close, but logistics generally fuck shit up. Now i know this girl is reserved and self conscious, but i figure the way shes been towards me its down like an army of clowns.

As usual we chat downstairs for a bit, then i drag her up to my room, as always for a stupid reason. "i need a pair of socks, feet are cold". We chat for a bit, then i make a move.

What i thought would be something pretty straight forward ended up being a 2 hour marathon of LMR and total boredom. Turns out shes incredibly self conscious, to the point where she cant even justify taking off her top. Thats right. She remained clothed the entire time, despite my continued and exhaustive attempts to change this. I was down to my underwear by the end, but she didnt join in. Looking back it was fucking strange, and something that i personally find to be a HUGE turn off. She has a fantastic body, shes a ballet dancer, does pole dancing, all that jazz. However, throughout the entire time she would fall under my charms and let me tempt her, then stop herself and say something retarded like "i cant let you do that otherwise i wont be able to stop" or "i'm not good with temptation". Granted i'm not the best with LMRs just yet, but she was her own worst enemy. All i got out of it was an incredibly awful make out section (after all those articles cosmo prints you think bitches would learn something) and a lame 2 minute handjob that was nowehere near close to being satisfying.

The nice thing was that it set in a few core beliefs for me. Firstly, i'm awesome in bed, or at foreplay, whatever the fuck that was. Same deal with house party scallywag, and they both liked totally different things. I believe i'm great at picking up cues when they're enjoying something, and exploiting it. Houseparty scallywag loved me biting her lip, so i worked on that and bit other things. Friend scallywag told me my work on her neck was amazing, so timing that with playing with her nipples lead to great results

What i thought was an ordinary night was actually a big deal for me, because it shatters a couple of ideas. One is that i thought i would be worse in bed than any girl (due to lack of experience), but also specifically with this girl because she was 26 and had been in a 2 year relationship. Turns out she was awful. She even pointed out how its stange that guys know how to work themselves and a girl, but girls have no idea (yeah no shit). Second was that because she was hot, not only would she have more experience, but that i would basically wouldnt be enough. Both total horseshit.

So now i've gained some much needed confidence in the bedroom side of things. Simply put, now i wont assume a hot girl knows what shes doing. Now i'll just be happy knowing that i'm awesome, and take a chance that she'll be awesome as well.
__________________
No Retreat, No Surrender: Field Reports from Spring

Alex Bootcamp - Review
Melbourne September 16 - 18 2010

Send that a smiley face. Bitches love smiley faces.
Login or register to post.
#10
Spring

Spring

Member

Join Date: 08/29/2010 | Posts: 41

Friday the 31st, December 2010

New Years Eve

So new years wasnt really a monumental occassion, seeing as how i go out all the time anyway. I dont drink, and i dont make new years resolutions, so basically its just another night. However it was a great night.

You'll notice with, hell, probably all of my posts, that i've discussed going after quality. Thursday the 30th was when i finally made that transition. I spent most of the night with an incredibly average scallywag. I even got a wakeup call from the lovely bar staff who were spraying water on us as we were making out. It really hit me at that point. Whether they were shooting water at us because she was feral or just making out in general i dont know. The point was that i realized i was just with this girl because she was there, not because she was quality. There was a chance to pull, but i went for that chance merely to tick that goal off this list, not because i actually wanted to fuck her. I really didnt want to fuck her. I remember sitting at McDonalds afterwards with Real_World being so angry at myself for still not going for the hotties. He pointed out that basically all of my sets except that one were hotties, but i was disappointed in myself for spending the majority of the night with water scallywag.

So New Years hit, and i was in party mode from the get go. Bartle B was drunk and making a fool of himself, and acousticninja and Prince harry were in high spirits. I opened a really gorgeous blonde and her friend at the bar, and they were friendly. I just considered it a warmup set, bounced around a bit and went back in later. She was friendly and really cool, but i was just rolling with it.

We decided to tram it into the city and check out the fireworks. Some chode was being a huge asshole on the tram, yelling at everyone to shut up and tooling people. The city was absolute chaos, to the point where i felt really unsafe for some reason. There were people everywhere, it was like one of those zombie movies where everyones running from the zombies, and we were in the crowd. I persuaded the others to head back to the club, since we were having an amazing time anyway. We arrived at the club exaclty 1 minute before midnight. Funny stuff

I spot blonde scallywag on the couch and she gets all excited to see me. Oh my god we were looking everywhere for you, i'm like to my friend "wheres Spring?". She told me on the day 2 that all these chodes were buying them drinks and being major creeps when i was gone. Its funny how they dont really notice how different you are from the chodes until you're away for a while. Definitely going to pay more attention to take aways from now on.

We spent the next hour or two together, she had to train it home with her friend and the friend couldnt go on the train alone, so no pull. I'm not really focused on pulling anymore, i'm always aware of it but dont care if it doesnt happen.

I was pretty proud of myself for the night in general. After she left i kept going and had a couple more solid interactions, which is a nice change from my normal habit of packing up shop once i've had that one nice interaction.



We had a day 2 Monday night, during which i learned some cool stuff. Because she was really attractive i didnt face all of the LSE bullshit i've gotten with all of my day 2s. I still didnt fully close, but in saying that all of my day 2s are basically straight to my place. She stuck to underwear and jeans, but it wasnt the same form of resistance. Rather than crossing her legs and being really negative when i put my hand into her pants for example, it was more of a fun, playful no. Everything except for the actual words she said hinted that shes keen and it will happen, just not on the first meet. I complimented her simply because it was so easy to read her tells. I really like discovering what a girl likes in bed, and then exploiting it. She found it odd since the other guy shes been with said she was hard to read. My response was that he clearly had no idea what the fuck he was doing. It was really obvious stuff, like grabbing my shirt. What a chode.

She asked me how many girls i had been with, and told her 5 since i September ( i hinted that i had made a big change in my life back in september. Turns out her younger brother is a player so shes not that phased by the idea). I eventually started talking about them having low self esteem, and she found it really interesting. The more we talked about it the sadder she found it. She even asked me if i thought they would ever feel good about themselves, because if they didnt they were missing out on so much in life. It was really cute.

Above and beyond the sexual stuff, in general the vibe between us was much nicer. We had a really nice chat, spent a heap of time in each others arms, and it took me half an hour to persuade her that we have to leave so she can catch her train because she was so comfortable being with me. I suppose the playing field is a lot more even when it comes to entitlement. We both feel like we're entitled to be with the other person, meaning everything is so much nicer. Nicer is really the only way i can describe it - i suppose easier works as well. I figured it may be a one off, that maybe this one girl just really liked me, but i had another interaction with a real hottie last night that showed again once the playing field becomes more even the interaction is less about her questioning things and more about us having fun. As Real_World said thursday - "they (quality girls) really appreciate it". I still noticed though, apart from them being hot and the lack of LSE bullshit, the interaction is pretty much the same. So just go for quality!
__________________
No Retreat, No Surrender: Field Reports from Spring

Alex Bootcamp - Review
Melbourne September 16 - 18 2010

Send that a smiley face. Bitches love smiley faces.
Login or register to post.