THE FORUMS

December 8th, 2016
Brad Alumni Taking Ciaran War Challenge To Become Self Actualized
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bratra88

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/03/2009 | Posts: 364

I have taken a bootcamp with RSD with Brad in August.  I have watched all the videos.  I have taken a hot seat.  I have read 9ball, currently reading physical game, and a shit load of articles.  No more games.  It is now or never to become my ideal self, a true man.  This is my guideline: http://www.rsdnation.com/node/146155

Goals to implement from Bootcamp:

Brad, Jared, and Saad have all pointed out that I need to stop hiding my ego, and just express my true self.
Reframing everything in a positive context, love thyself.
Learn to calibrate. By pushing yourself beyond your comfort, like trying to kiss every girl you talk to, you will learn to calibrate.
Work on tonality and fluff talk through vomitting and free association

I am a firm believer that if you do not live your day by accomplishing your goals, pretty much what manwhore says in http://www.the21convention.com/2009/05/17/manwhore-2008-day-3-1-of-2/ , you will not feel entitled.  WIth that being said, before I post my FR i will be writing down my daily accomplishments to remind myself that I am the shit and living a very productive healthy life.  Also, with my ego being the first thing I want to shatter, I will start off by writing really long field reports to just express my thought patterns.  I know once I stop doubting and having full faith in myself it will be a wrap.

October 15, 2010
Today's accomplishments before going out:
I did tantric exercises twice, meditated 100 breaths, workout, almost 2 chapters of biology, read 2 chapters of way of superior man, watched 30 minutes of blueprint, and read 1 chapter of physical game.

I was supposed to meet up with Loranzo (met from forums only once, he has been pulling girls for a few years, good at hooking but relies on mystery method and opinion openers), Goose (college friend pretty short but has watched all the RSD videos I have showed him and is the most fearless entertaining person in expressing himself), and more forum PUAs at 10:30
I arrived on time and Loranzo said he will be 20 mins late.
I go to deli to eat a sandwhich, saw one 5.7 and thought about approaching but was like nahh no point, although I did manage to display some personality in my conversation with clerk. I put on Tolle on the headphones and walked around looking for a starbucks, a couple of cute girls eyed me but did nothing but eat my food while walking and didn't find an open starbucks. Eventually I hid under a phone booth to avoid the cold breeze of NYC and drank my water, and realized I had to do something so despite being late. I went to a Pub near by and saw Karokee. Never been to a karokee bar before, and I saw 2 girls (1 pretty hot) smoking cigarettes outside. I walk past them and head into the bar, and see a cute girl sitting by herself in the corner of the bar while hearing some chic singing. I take off the headphones and I have an urge to approach the girl, but didn’t move on it and instead just followed the music to see who was singing. After 1 minute of watching my first karokee performace, I sat down on a stool observing the scene and atmosphere. The one cute girl was still sitting by herself, but I hide by opening up my fone to look for text messages. A 3 set with 1 girl and the bartender give glances at me (I was wearing a very fly dress shirt) and then the two smokers come in (I don’t even eye contact on some serious chodey shit). I feel very uncomfortable, nobody is coming and I am all alone. Fuck it I must do something! I put Tolle back on the headphones and leave the bar to the meet up spot to hopefully see other PUAs that I have never met but were supposed to meet up.
I saw one guy sitting nearby eating on the floor so I genuinely believed he was one of them, but pussied from approaching him and decided to warm myself up and walked to the Indian spot to order a chai to warm me up. I listened to Tolle read a manwhore innergame article to pump my state, saw the bartender wanted to approach me with the eyecontact but my headphones kept an anti social relm. Once finished, I paid the check and went to my car to listen to Tolle. After 5-10 minutes of truly feeling his message about the pain body and diminishing your ego, I get a call from Lorenzo to meet him up about 4 blocks away. I had been listening to Tolle for the past hour or so and have been using it as an excuse from approaching and living in the moment, FUCK THAT! I leave my ipod in the car and clap my hands hard, this is it, the time is now!

As I walk towards the lounge I see a few sets from a distance, most importantly this one cute girl in a dress wearing these bright yellow heels across the streets. She was waiting for a taxi or communicating with some people from down the block, not sure but Damn she looks GOOD, and I want to approach her about her heels. I internally debate it as I walk towards the lounge, I don’t act but don’t feel bad as the moment I enter the lounge it is on.
As I walk by, I see Loranzo standing outisde and approach him and two other guys saying whats up, two of them are Asians that did not know him just stood near him so they just laughed. I walk in the line to meet a new PUA Matt who asks me about my bootcamp experience and what I learned. We go inside, look around I see a few sets but don't open although I am feeling calm and ready. We socialize a bit more as Matt asks about my experience and I find out he is bringing a girl for a “pivot”. Loranzo asks if we should just get to know each other a little better before doing this or do we wanna just start approaching, Matt says he wants to know more about me and my bootcamp so we then head upstairs. My friend Goose is on his way and so is his pivot so we talk about game a little bit and at 11:50 I let them know that regardless if our friends come we all have to do one approach by 12. Goose rolls though at 11:56 and gets immediately approached by some chic after introductions he isolates on coach and gets quick kiss. All of us are motivated, the Yankees just win the game 6-5 and the crowded packed venue erupts. GOOSE is already killing it, people are happy, it is time to experience some glory.
Matt’s pivot comes, we all say hello and shake hands with her, the girl leaves Goose and we go down to start approaching. We pass several girls talking to dudes so none of us approach, then Loranzo sees a two set and dives in. I walk around the whole bar and don't approach nothing. Then I walk around the whole bar again and give an adequate hello to get ignored by a girl whose boyfriend was right behind her. Small fury builds to try harder and I go upstairs with Goose following me, I am trying my best to just BE and he tells me to approach and that I am in my head. I tell him so is he, and I will do better and try to just be in the moment, “lets go and approach”. We go down the stairs and Goose begins to chat “YOUR THE SHIT! He sees a group of chodes and shouts, “HE’S THE SHIT.”

He approaches 2 hot girls and 1 giant fat chode and shouts “HE's THE SHIT!” HB9.5 Screams no get away and gives him the a face of disgust. My ego gets washed away, is this chic downing my boy? I put my arm around Goose and we barge into the set like Kool-Aid men and say with great tonality “What? What you say?” Goose points at me and screams joyously, “HE IS THE SHIT!” She is hooked and replies points at chode and says “no, he is the shit!” I laugh, and Goose looks up and down and says, “ok he's the shit, but (points at me) he is THE SHIT!” Girl responds positively when two 6 feet chodes suddenly isolate the whole group by putting their backs in front of us and instantly hook the girls. They are previous friends and we lose eye contact and connection. We are amogged, but…

I feel the aliveness in goose, and a shell of my ego gets washed off. We are the shit! I say fuck it, let's meet some more skanks. I grab goose as he continuously shouts HE IS THE SHIT! He eventually mingles with some random group as I pass few sets, nothing that catches my eye and I round the place feeling very proud of my man Goose. I feel a little better and eventually see a girl looking halfway bored with her drink as her friend is hopping on some random dudes dick. I approach saying hello (as Jump around was playing), your not jumping around. She giggles and says yeah, blah blah blah (couldn't understand something about her friend or over there). So I say the first thing that pops up in my head, “yeah I like hip hop music.” She responds again not making any sense. Then I confused and semi scared by not sure what to say and so I go to my chodey basics and say, “What's in your drink?” She says “Vodka tonic”. I say, “Not vodka cranberry?” She gives me a disgusted face and says something that means hell no. I respond, “Ohhh so your a masculine chic drinking the hardcore vodka and not like the typical girl who drinks cranberry. Do you drink whiskey ?” (the second statement was said playfully/teasingly, some may call it flirty) She responded very logically, “I don't like whiskey in my drinks, but I'll talk shots of it.” I get kinda confused again and blanked out, not really feel much attraction to share something but I wouldn't mind a hook. So I just associate shots with LMFAO and say, “Shots! Shots! Do you like LMFAO?” She responds “yeah”. “They were playing earlier, I just saw them a few days ago. They are my favorite, what’s your favorite song?” She responds something about her friend and just didn’t make any sense to me. Fuck this shit, I know I should plow until I scare her away or score but I am not feeling it or her. I figure let me end off in a good note, and I can come back to her after I am flowing better. “Okay, I am ganna go find my friends. But, I love your earings. Is it a cross or are you religious and its a crucifix?” She goes “nooo, it’s a starfish!” “WTF really?” I brush her hair and grab her earlobe and look closer, it does have 5 sides and not 4, “pretty cool it’s hot.” She def gave some IOIs but my plan was to end on a good note and I began to walk away through the packed crowd. After pushing through some people for a minute and just pausing to look for some sets, I see her come back behind me probably trying to go to her friend or the dancefloor. “Oh, so your following me.” She laughs and says something I couldn’t hear and probably irrelevant. “You know it’s funny that you have a starfish on your ear, because I’m a Pisces.” “Well, I am Aquaris” or some shit (I had such a problem hearing this chic). “So what does that mean?” Once again due to the crowded packed venue, I couldn’t hear a damn word she said. Then I blanked out not sure what to say or how to respond, so I just smiled and continued pushing through the crowd but internally feeling awkward for not hooking when the opportunity was definitely there.
Anyway, I walk around some more. I see a lot of opportunities on the dancefloor, but don’t do anything except vibe with the music and continue. Suddenly I get approached the alpha woman of a 3set who gets in my face and pretends to have a microphone in her hand and sings the words to the current song playing. She was a 6.5-7 but definitely had great energy and starts getting low singing about the words to the song about needing a man or someshit. I gave a powerful smile and lack a lot of confidence in dancing nor did I feel that talking was the move, so I bopped my head and signaled my hands in a circle (nonverbally telling her to turn around in my mind thinking let me see that booty of yours crazy lady). She complies by doing a spin but I blank on where to go next. She continues flowing with the music and due to my lack of providing stimulation she gives her body language and eye contact to the closer friend next to us, and I say “that was awesome, I need some shots” and walk away. I walk away feeling stupid about what I said lol, I need to learn how to handle these situations better because they are beginning to happen more and more… Ideally I would love to just dance and flow, I start taking hip hop classes this Sunday, but it’s ok on to the next one.

I keep going through the crowd, I opened one girl saying the first thing that popped up in my brain, “I like your beer” LOL made no sense, and she was moving to the dancefloor with her friends says something friendly and chugs a huge gulp for me, definitely a lot of attraction and reflecting back I definitely should have word vomit but in the moment I was doing approaches which was more than enough for myself.

I eventually bump into Goose and the PUAs as Goose is talking to two girls sitting down together in a booth. The girls give goose the hand wave and say some bitchy shit telling him to leave, OH HELL NO! I barge in and say, “What’s wrong with you ladies?” They start telling transferring that hate to me and give me the same hand wave telling me to leave. Irrelevant. I see a DVD of Pittsburg on there table, “Oh that’s why you women don’t feel comfortable around us. You have no love for New York.” The girl in the left, still pissed, starts blabbing some shit about do you really think this is our dvd? I ignore and say, “YANKEES WON, Don’t be haters” lol. The other girl continues to give me the hand off and nagging she doesn’t want to talk to you leaveee, while the one on the left (still angry) continues to conversate with me. One of my biggest lessons from my bootcamp with RSD was when I got blown off real hardcore on the dancefloor, I told Jared so (one of Brad’s wings and definitely qualified to be an instructor) so he came in and just stood there intensely observing, chilling smiling mad hard. All of a sudden the shields evaporated and these girls transformed into qualifying themselves to him and within 1 minute both of them were grinding on his dick lol. So I activated the Jared, just grilled the bitchy girl on the right with a huge smile and even starting laughing, the emotions of the girls were beginning to shift as they were overwhelmed by my easiness and positivity. Then Loranzo suddenly came in and put his arm around me, come let’s go upstairs and do some friendly chics. I was on, no worries, let’s go.

We go upstairs and talk for few minutes, and wants to use a dual opener to this 3set. He suggests I open and ask the girls if he looks like a drug dealer where he will whip out their irrelevant responses with a scripted story as I go in and handle the other girls. I am all about natural game, but fuck it let’s experience something new. We look around for a set for a few minutes, pussing out of doable sets, then see a 3set and say fuck it. I barge into a group approaching the third girl “Quick question, does my boy look like a drug dealer?” She looks for 2 seconds, nods her head up and down says, “yes”. I start cracking up, and the other 2 girls get closer, “what did you ask?” “Does he look like a drug dealer?” They don’t respond loud enough to me or show enough interest and start looking at pictures on their phone as Loranzo starts spitting his story to the first girl that responded yes. Loranzo was getting his girl hooked, so I had to do something fast to avoid creating an awkward moment so I resorted to my oldschool chody tactics. I walk over to the two girls on the camera and say “give me your camera, I’ll take some pictures.” They comply and I jokingly put myself in between them and point the camera at us, they giggle but I turn around and say, “nahh just playing”. I turn around about to take a picture, when the girl in the right commands move back. I look at her and say, “don’t worry your cute, you have no pimples.” She blushes I think, and I move back. As I am about to take a picture, Matt and his pivot jump in randomly behind the girls to join in the picture. I introduce them to Matt and the pivot, and then Loranzos girl jumps in as well. Loranzo jumps in now, and I take a picture of everyone. It was cute, but then the girls take the camera and merge back into their 3 set group excluding all of us. I tell Loranzo, “Fuck it, let’s try another dual opener.”

We go downstairs and he suggests we go solo again. I scope around the place, chode away from opening although nothing really catches my eye. I run into Matt and pivot and socalize with them. We talk some bullshit and somehow I say something to get Matt to turn around as the pivot slaps his ass like 10 times lol. I start getting in my head, blanking out with what to say and feeling uncomfortable. I suggest let’s go somewhere else, and the pivot really seems down. Also, the pivot says “I like you” to me somewhere at the end, can’t really remember but def made me feel better ☺.

Eventually we gather up everybody, leave the venue. I did one more approach that ended fairly quickly. I tease the pivot about being from Jersey and how they are useless and stupid lol. We head to lower east side, I suggest Pianos where Pivot really likes this spot near by called the dark room. Once arriving the line to Pianos was brollic, so we go to Dark Room. I get a text from Brian, we went on bootcamp together and he agrees to meet up. It’s almost 1:30ish and have to wait 15 minutes on line at the Dark Room. I tried to socalize with Matt and pivot but I slowly krept in my head and wasn’t connecting with anything so I stopped bothering. Loranzo began flirting with the pivot, when suddenly the bouncer told everybody go to the wall. Goose shouts “TO THE WINDOW” then the girls in front of us scream “To THE WALL”. A group of people chant, “TO THE SWEAT DRIP DOWN MY BALLS!” Goose and some chics shouts SKIT SKIT SKIT, energy is nice, and Goose is in the zone. He sees two cute girls scared about the big line and approaches, and convinces them to try to cut the line with him. Eventually some dudes they know come and he gets blown out. Then some guy comes through to sell roses, and Goose socializes with him and buys one and puts it in his pants so it looks like a boner is popping above his shirt. I question him about it share some laughs, because the rose will be saved for his mother lol.

Right when I enter, I see Brian on line and quickly fluff talk with him and tell him I will meet inside. The Dark Room is packed, pretty big, but not much catches my eye except a two seated set (one girl gives me some glances). I do nothing, run into Loranzo and we agree to start approaching. We hit the middle of the room and decide to split path and MUST DO ONE APPROACH! We split up, and I chode away not socializing much and getting back in my head. I bump into Brian, just talk about stuff and he wants to meet my wings. As we are socializing a body of a 4 but face of 7 creeps up next to the bar grilling us HARD sipping her drink, she wants it but I don’t. I tell Brian I need to start opening but talking to him made me escape my mind, and I will introduce him to my friends soon. I continue onwards, I see one hot girl by the bar and was very close to approaching before I made chody excuses. I bump into Goose who was approaching this 7 foot tall cutie, she leaves away and I grab him to introduce him to my friends. As I say this, that 4 body but 7 stands near me and I tell Goose, this wants it really bad (Goose has no probably tearing up a chubby girl) but I awkwardly point lol bringing some tension in the air. He approaches her anyway, they hold hands but he doesn’t talk much and she leaves. I walk Goose to introduce him to Brian, and this HB8 and me lock eyes. Instantly she brightens up and I give her a great smile, but my agenda was to introduce Goose to Brian so I don’t say anything. Very stupid regret that will never happen again, but this is what happened. However, as I walked past her, Goose sees her state brighten up and quickly jumps in to dance with her. 2 of her friends pull her away, and I regret not approaching on my instinct but whatever let’s introduce Goose to bootcamp wing. We go to the corner, introduce, and Brian asks “is this the fearless guy I was telling him about?” Goose says, “I am not fearless, THIS is fearless” and just turns around and grabs this girls face (both hands on both sides of her cheek) and pulls her face very close to his. “I HAVE TO KNOW YOUR NAME. What is your name”. Everyone, her friends and us are fallen into spectator mode as he cutely wigges his noses and fluff talks while holding her face very close to his. After about a minute he let’s go, and comes back talking to us, “I don’t give a fuck” he chuckles. Both me and Brian are very impressed, and I have fully awoken. Although I am sorta in my head from being in spectator mode and not having much to talk about in the current moment, I am determined after watching Goose do that that I will not let ANY GIRLS PASS ME without approaching.

We fluff a little and Brian says he has to leave to drive his friend to the airport. We start walking and I see three girls walking towards the bar, so I approach the third one with a tap, “You are very cute.” She shakes her head hinting no. “What’s your name?” She continues to shake her head no. “You don’t have a name!?!? That’s crazy me either.” She laughs but still isn’t giving me attention. “I guess can call me Ghost.” She chuckles and says, “I will.” Then continues to walk away now fully back turned holding the hands with her friends.

I walk around and do not attack every possible opportunity, but I bumped heads with Loranzo who was looking for me for a while. He shares a story about how he was talking about orgasms with the pivot and how she was grinding on him and wanting to buy him drinks, and how Matt got scared he would pull her and decided they should go home feeling “bored”. We walk and pass a girl that he opened early and wanted to get back to, when I get caressed from the back. I turn around to see some random vibrant girl. She had crazy rich light blond hair kind of like a lion, at least 10 years older than me, and says something about how she really likes my shirt. Loranazo says something, and I see that she is standing with two guys so I am confused. So I just vibe to the music, smile at her, back around so the back part which she touched was facing her and started dancing and shaking my ass for 10 seconds. I turn around, nothing is said and I have no idea where to take it (I genuinely had no idea how to take this set but retrospect now I could have gotten up in her face and started fluff talk) and decided to walk away to the bar. Loranzo brightens up and tells me she wanted to fuck me and she was freaky and would fuck me good, on one hand once again I get baffled and confused on what to do when a girl approaches me with high energy and all up on me, on another hand something about her hair told me she didn’t shave which had me sexually repelled.

We walk by the bar and Loranzo approaches the two set asking them if I look like a drug dealer. They were very calmed and laid back, and Loranzo asks very casually not hinting something. They weren’t really interested but grill me and tell him yes. I am genuinely shocked because I don’t have my earings on, and turn around to show them the back of my shirt that the girl just touched loudly projecting “would a drug dealer really be wearing this?”. One of the girls said definitely yes while my quick burst of energy somehow made me step on the chics feet. They both get akwarded and leave, and Loranzo tells me to tone it down a little. I was wired, maybe in state, did not get a fuck, but true coming so energetic on such a laid back group is overwhelming so I decide to just chill and try to establish a good solid connection before the night ends.

I round up Goose and we decide to head to Pianos for one last attack. It’s 3am, so whatever chic is still in there must be looking for some dick. We wait on line fluff talking, one chic very close by on the phone that both me and Loranzo felt impulses to approach but didn’t. As we got towards the front of the line, I hear excuse me and get pushed from behind by this chic who squeezes into her social circle right behind us. I hardly budge so our backs are pressed up against each other and I remain cool talking to my friends but feeling my internal thoughts consciously thinking about the pressure from this chic. I remain cool and keep talking, and start to feel sharp pains from probably an umbrella in my back. I turn my head but not my body and say to the girl in a very BR vocal tonality, “you are stabbing me with something and it hurts, but I kind of like it.” I see Loranzo crack up a smile, but I don’t turn around to see how the group behind us responds. But, the stabbing pain has ceased. We are at the front of the line now and Goose sees four girls (2 banging) bitching about waiting on the line, so he tells them just go straight in trust me. They comply, and we are eager to approaching them once we are let in.

We go in, check out the scene. The bar is pretty empty, very smart move by the bouncers of creating a long line to imply that the place was packed. Goose opens immediately some stranger, so me and Loranzo go upstairs where they play hip hop music to look for some girls. Upstairs is popping, tons of people and everyone is dancing and drinking. I vibe to the music head towards the dance floor, don’t see many approachable girls (girls that aren’t engaged with dudes) and Loranzo goes “now what?” I respond, “Don’t think just go”. He instantly opens a two set on the dance floor. He has the pretty engaged and I continue looking for some girls. Goose comes through, fluff, and then I see that one of the girls Loranzo is talking to looks bored. I kind of messed up our previous 2 winging sessions so I figured to let Goose help him out and tell him to talk to the other girl. Goose goes in like a dynomite and gives the woman the strongest penetrating eye contract, the girls get freaked out and leave lol. I feel kinda bad and Lonenzo gets confused, and I promise him that next time I will go in myself. He tells me don’t worry then points out a 9 and 9.5 sitting alone on the couch one texting on the phone bored as fuck. They are SO FUCKING HOT. Lorenzo tells me to approach them. Nah, chilll lol. Then he says, they are hot and you will learn something from this, then starts counting down from 5. Some chode goes in to the girl on the left as he says this and gets blown out within 15 seconds by the hand in the face lol. He counts down 3, 2, 1 and I go. I jump over the very low tables and sit on the couch next to the hotter one who is now the only one on the phone. I am actually at total ease, and just state the first genuine thing that pops into my head, “That dude right had the courage to approach your friend, I figured there is no way I shouldn’t be here. So Waddddddup?” She looks away from her fone, looks at me for half a second says “wadddup” then goes back to her texting. Silence. Her friend now goes on the phone. She is bored out of her fucking mind. “Hey, I know I am sitting next to your friend, but your cute too.” I say it pretty flirtatiously and positively, but definitely not loud enough and should have nailed it hard with the BR but they both stay completely avoiding me. Silence. I am at ease but I am getting nothing. I listen to it wasn’t me, and then I say something about texting and notice she is on the blackburry. “Ahh, I see so your BBMing, I hear that shit gets very intense.” Silence. Still nothing. I stay chill but stay looking at her. Finally she takes her attention off the phone for a second and looks at me, “I’m sorry?” I repeat my statement about BBMing, and she just replies “Yeah” and grills her phone hard. I decide it is my time to depart, this is going no where. “Aight, I am out of here, for the record if you took a second to look up you would see that your not the only one that’s pretty fucking cute.” I throw up my hand for a handshake, “pleasure meeting you”, she complies and I hold her hand for like 10 seconds grilling her and smile. I think she was still partially on the fone during the handshake and I eject.

I go back on the dancefloor looking for chics. Goose and Loranzo are posted up, and I see this drunk chic approach Loranzo. I fluff talk with Goose, and then the drunk girl 7.5-8 approaches me. “Where is the bouncer or DJ?” I respond “What?” “I am looking for the bouncer blahblah… (couldn’t hear)”. I escalate closer, “Why you want to fight somebody?” I put my hands up like a boxer and do a quick shuffle lol. “Let me see your fists” I command. She giggles and shows me her fists, cute little knuckles. I pick up close to my face, and I say some rubbish. She giggles and says, “Noo, I want to listen to Popular!” I look at her weirdly. “This is where they play hip hop. I ain’t ever heard of that shit. It definitely is not popular. Who sings it?” She screams excitedly “LIL WAYNE! YOUNG MONEY!” I like lil wayne, I like young money. I must own this opportunity. I give her a big hug and then claw her with both my hands. I say “You like lil wayne too?!” She responds, “YEAH I LOVE LIL WAYNE”. My body is now pressed up against her. Feels good. This is why I entered pick up. Suddenly, I get in my head, fuck what do I say now? Where do I take this? Our faces are close, should I go for the kiss close? Reflecting back, HELL YEAH but no internally began to panic at the first sign of success lol. I fluff into her ear some shit about drake, she responds about young money, I fluff about nicky minaj, she responds young money, I missed one kissing opportunity and our body language was going backwards, “Fuck it, I’ll help you find popular later. Let’s dance.” I turn her around, (I should have pulled her ass on my dick) and she just begins to walk away. “Noo, I want to listen to popular.” She is drunk my ego says. Let her go this is not right. She slowly walks away giving eye glances back at me, Goose come up to me giving me pounds and says nice. Loranzo is tired, and I have accomplished my goal of approaching 5 new girls.
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#1

bratra88

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/03/2009 | Posts: 364

lol mad love synergist, thanks.

October 16, 2010
Accomplishments: did tantric exercises twice, meditated, wrote my first RSD journal, read 1 chapter of the way of the superior man, watched 30 minutes of blueprint

I have been working on balancing my social obligations to attend different bday parties and using it as a tool for new venue for cold approaching, last night I didn't do so well.  The plan was to hit up 3 venues, bday party 1 from 11:30-1 Standard Hotel, bday party 2 from 1:30-3 Le Souk, and then end the night at Pascha.  Sometimes when I hang out with my friends, I chode away from doing cold approaches which is why Pascha was thrown in there.  Anyway, I start getting ready about 10:20 when I get a phone call from some HB6.9 I had a day2 with like a year ago, but didn't kiss or fuck, but I don't pick up cause I am in a rush.  As I am showering, I am not in the moment and thinking fuck it let's set up a date, she wants it and I can give it.  I get ready and enter my car by 11, normally I listen to Tolle but instead I decide to call her and talk to her on the way to the party.  Anyway, I called with the intent for a 4 minute conversation of quick teasing and just set up a date, but she kept interrupting my date set up by saying "i hate you" and "you break my heart" so I ended up talking to her for 30 minutes (while driving to the city) and then was able to set it up for next week.

I put on Tolle and head to Standard Hotel.  Takes forever to find parking and walk there, and I look for my friend to just to wish him happy birthday (also greet old friends and maybe he has easy social circle female friends that I will def get without effort) then I will focus on cold approaching.  I see a few girls that I guess I could of approached, but it wasn't my agenda (maybe it should have been) and long story short he was at Stumble Inn NOT Standard Hotel so I run back and drive out there and arrive there at like 1:30.  I tell bday party 2 to meet up at Stumble, and that we will all roll to the next spot together.  Takes like another 30 minutes to find him, and on my way out to go to the next bday party I was feeling good so I just held door open to let some people pass (i have some gentlemen like tendencies sometimes lol) and then a two set (one with an onion booty that made me tear) started to leave.  I smiled and said "bye pretty ladies" and just watched her cute butt walk away.  After they were like 15 steps away I felt stupid for not introducing myself and asking them why they were going/where they were going.  Whatever, I tell myself to go 10x harder at the next spot.

Le Souk required us to buy a bottle so we ended up going to this hookah/bar lounge.  It was so fucking packed that you were pressed up with everyone everywhere.  As we start walking to our hookah at the end of hte lounge, I pass an approachable two set who were dancing with one dude.  Internalize an excuse that I will be back (I do go back later and still dont approach lol) and head to the couch.  I flirt with the bdays girls best friend a little but I couldn't even establish a 5 minute long conversation with ANYONE in the social group I was with.  I see another 3 set (1 dude and 2 gorgeous baddest girls in the whole place) that were near us just moving boredly to the beat and I had huge desire to approach but similar to the previous 3 set, I was just blanking on even where to start.  Finally I see 2 people pass us and then a third HB9 and I know she is what I want and I HAVE TO GO.  I follow her for 10 steps then tap her behind her shoulder (it was very packed and loud), she turns around and I say "You are so cute."  She giggles, smiles, and says "I am with them" pointing to away, but I could not accept this.  "Chill, stay with me for a second."  I grab her waist, but weakly and not with the intent that was in my heart, and she just turns around and walks with her friends.  I will go approach her group before the night is over I tell myself.  I go back to the group, hardly am able to mantain any authentic conversations, and there were pretty much no more HB6.5 or higher for the rest of the night.  On the positive though, although I didn't "hook" anyone for a deep talk or just an absurd wooful conversation, I did have a lot of energy and everyone gave me a lot of hugs and pounds (manly high fives) because they did enjoy my presence.

Eventually I round up 1 friend and we arrive at Pascha at 5 am, but I am dead fucking tired and have a test on Monday which I need to spend today studying for.  I conclude that I did not do 5 approaches today, so Saturday night is a FR that does not count as 5 of the 7 nights that I must go out.  The war article says if you cannot do 5 cold of approaches because of your friends, ditch them.  Tomorrow I will be going to college campus, and I will not hit up any of my friends until I do 5 cold approaches with random girls.  I always have a tough time with this, especially when my mind will be scrambled because of the midterm, but I have no excuses, I have to make up for Saturday night.  The War for self destruction is on, I must kill my ego and do what I truly want.
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#2

bratra88

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/03/2009 | Posts: 364

So Monday my priorities were all up in school, and I ended up approaching 3 girls just to shoot the shit and getting approached by 1, created some attraction but getting laid wasn't really my agenda.  Therefore starting this challenge Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday is technically a failed experience so I spent all of Tuesday morning brainwashing my mind to go BEAST MODE!

Tuesday I started off going to this speed dating event on campus, no pretty or attractive women, however going to the university bar afterwards I can proudly say that I lived in the moment and approached 2 seated sets, sat down next to both of them, really plowed through their resistance and created a "connection", however after reading a chapter 3 in ozzie's book I can see now that I am asking way too many questions and not expressing myself enough.

My last approach went like this:
Walk up to seated girl that is wearing a black dress dark black hair very cute figure, exotic eyes.  Smiling hardcore, tap on her shoulder, "Hi".  She doesn't give me eye contact or even look up, I stay grilling her eyes.  She looks at me, "Hello" I say again.  Techno music is playing throughout the whole night.  I sit down next to her and say "So you don't like this techno music huh?"  She shakes her hand nonverbally implying so/so but not saying anything.  "Word, I can't dance to this either haha.  I like hip hop."  She finally gives me some attention, "I LOVE HIP HOP".  Then out of nowhere I say "You know why I like you, your hair is so dark and black."  She giggles.  I ask her about her major, she says translater and that she is from Belgum (I hooked up with a Belgium on bootcamp so I am totally feeling this).  She tells me she is a bitch.  I smile and tell her that a true translator is about communicating between people, and there is nothing bitchy about that.  She agrees.  I tease about some holloween shit, and tell her I am going to be a gangster and pull my pants down to my boxers.  She giggles.  She tells me she is still a though because she is selfish.  I tell her my ex was probably the biggest in the world, and she ain't much compared to her.  I tell her a true is shallow and materialistic, she says she is dark but she has depth.  I ask her if she writes poetry.  She asks how I knew, tells me about how she did it in high school.  And that she quit because she was not that good.  I claw her like babe you serious, don't tell me that.  Kind of lecture her that poetry is about expressing yourself.  And probably she is comparing herself to her favorite poets which is stupid and she should just do her and express herself.  She promises to start doing poetry again and I give her a high five (I should have hugged her or clawed her again, on bootcamp one of Brad's side instructors Jared told me to stop high fiving it is my kino lol, Also I thought of a story about becoming an expert requires a lot of practice like 100,000 hours and it has nothing to do with talent, but for some reason I didn't share it which I kind of regret because it is one of my favorite psychology topics).  I say tahts why I love hip hop because its like poetry, and ask her about Hip ho., she says she loves BIG, jeezy, jay z, and lil wayne.  I give her a hug when she says BIG tell her I like Nas and about his conflict with Jay Z.  She didn't really care but her friends interuptted to ask her if she is ok secretly through whispering two times and a male chode came to block, but I stayed grilling and it was just our little bubble so everybody disappeared.  Then I tell her I like Immortal Technique, and she light up. I mention the song dance with the devil, which ALWAYS HITS for all immortal technique fans, but for some reason she didn't respond well.  (I should have dug deeper and explained what it was about that song that moved me so much, ah well).  I slightly started going in my head a bit, my friend came through asking in my ear, yo i don twanna cock block but when are we leaving.  I said 20 minutes.  He leaves and I bullshit with her for a few more minutes about her eyes being like cat eyes.  She cracks the fuck up, and I tell her how eyes tell a lot about a person.  A lot of the conversation I would bring my face very close to her, (sort of thinking about going for the kiss) but as she avoided eye contact 85% of the conversation and was kind of still resisting I don't feel bad for not going for a make out.  So after the eye thing I kind of get back in the zone and decide I just number close since it was at a high point and I genuinely liked her and was very pleased with our connection.  So I tell her, "So when my friend came, we are business partners and he needs to crash at my crib, plus I have a midterm tomorrow.  But I want your number."  She gets maddd resistant on me, kind of jumps back and away from me a few inches, and instantly was like noooo, good bye.  I am genuinely shocked, I expressed myself well, cold read well, kinoed more than I usually do, and since I had expressed that I was committed to leaving because of my agenda, staying and plowing for her number did not seem like it would have worked.  So being that I really liked but felt that it was over, I just took her hand and kissed it lol.  Then I look at her dead in the eyes and say from my core "I really like you".  I am not really watching her or really care about her reaction, just expressing me not from neediness, and all of a sudden she jumps and gives me a giant hug.  Caught me off guard, I take it, and then she asks, "what's your name?"  I say "Balwin."  She says she is Maria.  I can't remember what happens next, but I get up to leave and I see a girl sitting pretty close by just grilling me hard like damn who is this sexy man and i wish he approached me haha.  I get ready to bounce, realize my jacket was placed behind where Maria was.  I go back to her (she is back into how I approached her just sitting alone dazed not giving anybody any eyecontact) and playfully pretend like I have a rope that I am pulling towards her.  She is confused but smiles, then I wink and grab my coat behind her.  Put it on and leave without turning around.  I think I should have plowed harder for the phone number again, there was a moment in our conversation that I hooked her when I said life is short.  After she asked for my name after I kissed her hand and she gave me her hug and body temperature was at its ultimate peak, I should have mantained the hug and said give me your number, life is short.  Anyway, night is over and it's on to the next one.  BEAST MODE TONIGHT
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#3

bratra88

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/03/2009 | Posts: 364

I was typing a pretty descent field report  explaining my last few girls but shit got erased so lets just keep it simple.
1) I went out with 3 non RSD wings, I got in my head a lot but I constantly pushed the envelope by talking to at least 3-6 different girls for over 5 minutes, some as long as 20.
2) I got a 2 minute fully loving hug and a peck on the lips from a girl while her boyfriend who was a 500 pound giant that looked like a bouncer (I hooked her instantly so it was funny that such a big guy didn't enter my RAS until our little bubble was interupted) was hovering literally 4 inches away lol
3) Lesson: STAY ON MY AGENDA AT ALL TIMES NO MATTER WHAT, I am doing this challenge and pick up for me and my penis, no one else, and I must stay on it until I arrive where I want to be.  Also, when my "state" crashes, I find it very hard to express myself and connect with anything about me that offers value.  I should generate some back up solutions for this.

Plan for Thursday Night:  Beast mode x3, get even more physical and have WOO talking about what I want.  No outcome dependency but if all clicks right, this thursday, Friday, or Saturday should be my first LR.  Life is motherfucking short, it is time to truly live each moment to the fullest.
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#4
Brad

Brad

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/28/2007 | Posts: 3014

BEASTMODE!!!  Keep up the journal man...
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#5

bratra88

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/03/2009 | Posts: 364

Today was my first day at my new job, long ass day and came home around 11 pretty exhausted.  I read your post Brad and left the house with one intent, to not only approach a minimum 5 girls, but to get physical.  I walk into the club and scream at the top of my lungs to make sure I am unstifled.  I look around and see YOUNGINS EVERYWHERE lol.  Thursday night is college night 18+, but these chics were looking 16ish and shit.  Whatever, I scope for the oldest or the baddest or any chic holding liquor.  I usually have a lot of energy, but today I am tired so I decide to stay on a chill vibe intent mode and cruise by walking VERY SLOWLY.  Just feeling the music, no thought in my head except I have to go hard.  So it begins with I see a dude and girl grindin and the girls friend trying to vibe looking bored, she is pretty cute and holding a beer (implying she is 21+) so I move without further thought.  I tap her shoulder and say, "What's up, so your over 21?"  She says "WHAT!?!"  I say "Your cute".  She smiles and opens her body language towards me, while her friend who is grinding on her friend says "Noo" or someshit I couldn't understand, I look blankly at her for a milisecond (not hesitation out of fear, but I thought for a second to punch out some witty shit) but as it is my first set and I am not fully sharp with my articulation/expression yet, suddenly the dude dancing with her and the girl claw the girl and doing a 3 way grind to block out my communication.  Our brief bubble is popped and first approach is out, it's all good.  

I start hunting for a good few minutes now not really finding any girl that is old enough or cute enough, eventually I see 2 girls standing both looking mad cute, about my height, but kinda young.  I grill for 30 seconds and think, fuck it I am solo and I am here to approach.  I go up and say "Your adorable", and she smiles and says "thanks" but doesn't really give me anything.  I think she actually dismissed me actually but I just ignore and keep plowing talking about the two djs and shit.  I can tell she isn't that comfortable and I actually don't feel it either, but fuck it I plow.  Her friend interupts and says, "you can't hit on my baby cousin, she's only 16."  Honestly she is right, my core wasn't comfortable with her youngish appearance and I am 22 chillll.  I look at her and she is actually much cuter then her cousin anyway, I give a semi weak claw on her and say "I am just telling her about the music, do I look like I am hitting on her?"  I take off the claw and grill her then in serious BR "Where are you from?"  In this short time, my original target grabs the older one's hand and starts walking away from me, she looks at me and state "I have to go."  I suddenly have a pretty bad state crash.  Fuck I am gettin rejected by 16 year olds, wtf am I doing.  CHILLL!  I reframe the situation.  I am alone, I have survived much harder shit then this.  I do my best to surrender to my state.  I grab my phone and read an innergame article by manwhore that I saved.  I feel better sorta, but I cannot think of anything to talk about or express about myself.  I kind of lost myself.  Then I see this HB8.6 and this chode tap her VERY LIGHTLY from a distance.  She doesn't feel it, she is on her phone texting.  He taps her again she looks at him now, and just brushes her hair away and walks a few steps away from him.  FUCK IT IF I can't think of any value or anything to talk about, I AM HERE for BEAST MODE!  I WILL DO BETTER THAN THE CHODE!  I charge towards her, tap her from behind three times.  She doesn't turn around.  WTF!  I Tap her like 10 more times, you will not deny me!  She turns around, "Hello, your mad cute."  She looks away from her phone for a second at me, but doesn't give me much.  I tap her again and I forget what I say, but she looks at me and says "I have a boyfriend."  I remain pretty unreactive and just smile hard core, she looks semi interested all of a sudden.  "So what, you think I am that easy?  I see a cute girl and now I am trying to make you my girlfriend?"  She looks, then just starts texting.  I stay grilling hard, completely unreactive.  Not really sure how to respond, fuck it I think.  Just express myself.  I blank though.  I stay grilling with a smile blanking while she stays there texting.  She isn't leaving or moving though, fuck it I will not move either lol.  I stay grilling, but I can feel my state dropping heavily.  I start getting them coyotee legs.  But I refuse to eject.  I try to plow again, I comment about her necklace and how she is a typical fiesty chic.  I get nothing she just remains texting but not moving.  I mention something about her ethnicity, still nothing.  Yet she is still staying next to me.  I finally feel like I have lost.  I refuse to eject though.  I decide to look for a near by girl and hopefully approach her in front of her to show her shes just being childish and weird because although I was not fully flowing at my best, I am more than enough.  It's funny, right when I start eyeing other girls and sincerely looking for one that catches my eye, she walks away to continue texting away from me.  I have lost the girl, but I plowed to the end!
So i walk around accepting the moment, looking for any girl I find attractive and find this really beautiful black girl.  I tap her shoulder from the back and say "Your cute".  She smiles and says "thanks" but is holding her phone and tries to leave.  NO I DONT CARE IF I AM BLANKING I MUST BEAST.  I grab her waist chodeishly (i was shaky today) as she is walking, "No, what is your name?"  She continues walking,say in full BR, "Whats your name?"  She turns and says some exotic shit that begins with an L.  "Angel?"  She laughs real good.  "I am just playing", I pull her in close to me.  "Say your name again."  "Laxima" or somehtin like that.  "Where you from?"  "NIgeria."  "Damn, you are very sexy".  She giggles but starts walking away again.  Fuck she is young too I listen to my mind.  Fuck, maybe I should of plowed harder.  I open one other and it ends pretty quickly.  Solo nights are tough, but I have to still remain pleased with myself as when I went out 2 weeks ago before accepting this challenge I wasn't even approaching at all.  Also, I need to reconnect with myself and enter the night with a full cup.  2) NO MORE OF THIS CHODEY CLAW, I MUST TAKE WHAT I WANT.  3) Find a way to have some fun when you are solo, start entertaining yourself somehow someway. 
Well, tonight was descent, but it was like baby beast mode.  So I am home with a new plan which is to get very good sleep and to make up for it by going out for at least 4 hours tomorrow.  I have no doubt in my mind that I will accomplish a very successful night of pure BEASTMODE and it will be glorious.
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#6

bratra88

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/03/2009 | Posts: 364

For not getting laid or doing more then a few claws, I had a wonderful fucking night.  I got to first bar/club around 1 and went to action right away.  I approached this cuttie walking across the dance floor holding hands with her friend with a tap and "Your very cute" and she said "Omgg thanks I think your cute too but I have a boyfriend."  I raise my hands up, I want a hug.  "That's fine show me some love."  She didn't understand and I pull her in, "Oh you want a hug?"  We hug.  She goes with her friend.
I socialize with one of my wings and walk crew for a few minutes.  I see a few girls worth my time who are engaged in large groups, I rationalize my way out of talking to them.  Eventually some good hip hop songs come on and I decide its time to get back into opening.  I go vultureish and hunt, slowly feeling my state and value drop.  I howl like a wolf to stay in the zone.  Few minutes later I am near the dance floor when I see this girl in all black dress pass by.  I tap her hard, "your very cute".  She smiles and says thanks, but keeps walking.  Hell no she is too fine, I grab her by the waist and pull her back, she is pretty compliant.  "Wait, wait, what's your name?"  "I have to go (somethig I didn't hear)".  Then she sahys her name I  forget, "Ok, go do you, I will have to see you again real soon."  I let her go.  Reflecting back her body language was real good, I should of said chill with me for 30 seconds and went beast mode.
The place dries up pretty soon and by 2 me and my wings head to a new spot thats pretty packed.  I hit up the dance floor and see a group of 4 girls straight 9s, and I tap the one in the red dress.  She doesn't turn around.  I tap harder and say "your cute" and some fluff about her red dress and if she was going to be the devil for holloween.  She gives half smile face but dances away from me.  I approach another girl at the bar and say "your cute but something about the style of your bag tells me I have to watch out for you during holloween".  Semi interested she asks, we fluff a few sentences when I ask, "So what you ganna be for holloween."  She responds, "I need a shot."  Then she and her two friends take a shot, i see she has a lime so I jokke about how I was right I do have to watch out for her duriing holloween as she is drinking tequila.  She giggles but her body language closes me off after the shot to stay with her friend.  I stand there for a minute but then decide to go back to dance floor.
Eventually I start feeling down again, I approach two or three more and just keep plowing but they leave or she closes me off with body language again.  Then one of my wings gives me a little speech about how I am just looking for the truth about who that girl is and who I am and how we are at that moment, and if I want to kiss the truth about our kiss, and the truth of our chemistry with dancing, and BOOM I feel enlightened.  I see the bar girl and tap her side and say, "So you never told me what you were going to be in holloween."  She said "A pirate."  I was shocked cuz it didn't sound sexy at all, but she tells me a school girl pirate.  Much better lol.  I tell her about how I read a poll that 19% of women are going to be Jasmine for Holloween so fuck it, I'll be Prince Ali.  Then use the vomtting to fluff some more.  She complaints me a lot.  She says she likes my hair, my facial hair, I hug her for her compliment (i should have clawed her too). We talk about working and she had a lot of knowledge about what men should wear, so I got curious, and she almost says her boyfriend but changes subject haha.  Anyway her friend comes (its like 3 am) and she has to leave, we hug and I feel good.  I go on the dancefloor with my wing and I have never danced publicly ever, but I spent the next hour dancing.  There were like 4 big girls and 2 cute girls in the corner, and I said it fuck it let's find out the truth about my dancing skills and those girls and go for it.  I get rejected by a random girl flying in and grinding up on them to cut off my connection, but I stay dancing with my wing in their proximity not giving a fuck for the next 30 and def saw the girl I appraoch eye the shit out me.  
Overall night was dead after that, nothing worth approaching.  I helped my wing once by staying with the groove of his conversation and not getting in my head.  The lesson or plan for tomorrow is to hopefully hit up lower east side and instead of going as direct as I have been, fall back a little bit and just find out the truth about who this person is, and approach with a tap and"What's up?", and maybe potentially followed by, "I just wanted to meet you."
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#7
jlaix

jlaix

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 8800

Your "kino" sounds like faggot shit. "THEN I HI FIVE HER NOSE" 

BONERS NOT KINO
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#8

bratra88

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/03/2009 | Posts: 364

very true, i have been working hard on just not getting in my head and just holding a conversation where I keep flowing without thinking.  I have been getting better at that and approaching, but as i have mad respect for u jeffy tonight my objective will be to approach every girl while visualizing her bent over and begging to suck my dick.  TIme to shower and scrub my balls.
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#9
jlaix

jlaix

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 8800

YES
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#10

subx

Trusted Member

Join Date: 09/18/2008 | Posts: 1248

where do u find people so motivated as this?

i gotta do this myself i guess.
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