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April 23rd, 2014
Decoding the Blueprint (Part VI)
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Drama

Drama

Trusted Member

Join Date: 02/26/2008 | Posts: 3625

Decoding the Blueprint: Part VI

Entering State


Sometimes your mind may try to block you from entering state. How do we get out of that?

First, realize that you are not your mind. You have the ability to take control!

You have the instruction manual in your mind on how to be a pimp.

Tyler provides a great example of how your mind will not give you the “instruction manual” by relating a story of flying a plane with your friend who has the manual but won’t give it to you because he doesn’t want you to fly the plane…

In the metaphoric story, you start flying the plane (keep pushing yourself) even though your friend (your mind) won’t give you the manual…until eventually, he caves and gives it to you – just like your mind!

Look, you know how to talk, you know how to be confident, all of those little mannerisms you’ve picked up either consciously or unconsciously in your life.

Think of doing math homework from class. When you hit the first question, it takes you a few minutes to get the problem figured out. You procrastinate on the problem and take a while to finish it. After doing a few problems, you access that “math mode” in your brain and start cranking out the problems faster and easier.

Once you are past approach anxiety, you might still get in the moods where you don’t want to go approach a group of girls.

Example
You are sitting with your buddies at a bar having a good time and there are some girls you want to go talk to. BUT you are having a very logical conversation with your friends. Your mind hasn’t accessed that part of your brain that makes you most successful with women, so you have to snap out of that logical state of thinking. It’s no different than when you are sitting watching television and you don’t want to get up and work on higher priorities.

When you are out in the bar and you see some cute girls that you want to go talk to, and you haven’t started getting social yet, you need to go in and talk anyway. Even if you have no idea what you are going to say, just walk up and start talking. It may be awkward, and that is fine. Some people call it “warm up sets.”

Most guys go talk to the first girl, they get blown off, then they go back to their buddies and procrastinate on approaching other girls.

If it blows up, you need to just keep approaching different people until something snaps – you don’t want to sit their procrastinating and get stuck inside your head.

You can’t sit there and hope something happens, you have to make it happen. You have to be the obnoxious guy to your mind until it gives you the “manual.” You have to be persistent!
How do you go swimming in the ocean? You fucking run and jump in. You don’t wade your way into the cold water, you just suck it up and jump in.

Conflicting Realities


Everyone has their own sense of reality.

Women have a simultaneously strong and weak reality.

Example
Think of an extremely attractive model. She knows she is a beautiful girl, but she is also taking extreme criticisms like “your left toe has a freckle on it” or “you have an improperly placed nostril.”

She is competing with other beautiful girls.

Girls tend to have both a very strong sense of reality, but at the same time that reality can crumble very quickly.

As a guy, when you’re speaking to an attractive woman, it can seem like she is very centered and strong in her own reality.

As time goes on, you realize most people who haven’t studied self-actualization are not that centered in their own reality. The reason is they have unconscious competence – they don’t know how they are doing it. They feel centered most of the time, but when they fall off their center, they don’t recognize the behaviors and know what is going on, so they start to react.

What are the differences in behaviors between guys and girls?

As a man, when you have a strong polarity, a woman standing by you will feel that vibe you give off.

Have you ever been speaking with a girl who isn’t the most physically attractive, but you are still entranced and you don’t know why?

Likewise, have you ever been speaking with a girl that is drop-dead gorgeous, but you feel nothing? You almost feel like you’d be cheapening yourself if you hooked up with her.

This is where polarity comes in.

Most girls aren’t looking to offer themselves to any guy, they are looking for guys that are at ease in the world and guys that have trust in themselves.

Women have the capacity to be both stereotypically masculine and stereotypically feminine.

It’s hard to picture Hillary Clinton at the bar getting wild with her girlfriends – she has that stereotypically masculine vibe.

Even a girl who has that side may want to experience that more feminine side. A woman can’t be free to experience that if she is with a man that has no strength to him. When a guy doesn’t look like he is at ease in the world, the girl can’t feel at ease either.

Congruence Tests

When we think about a congruence test, realize that girls will do little things to mess with you – they can be really obvious or extremely subtle.

When a girl is giving a congruence test, she wants to feel the strength of your reality, and they also want to see if you are capable of asserting yourself as a man.

Obvious Congruence Tests

*Prodding you to justify yourself
*Saying obnoxious things to make you jealous or insecure
*Being cranky or throwing tantrums to see if you’ll get sucked into it
*Calling you out on your worst features to see if you are insecure about them
*Trying to get you to qualify yourself to her so she can be in the selector role
*Accusing you of things
      -“You’re a jerk!”
      -“Is that your pickup line?”

Subtle Congruence Tests
*Who is controlling the rhythm of the conversation?
      - You can be speaking to a girl and she quickly changes the rhythm of her conversation to match yours

The woman wants to feel that you are rooted in your own reality, that you are centered.

The key distinction is are you dictating the energy or being affected by it?

Man = action
Woman = reaction

What are most guys doing around an attractive woman? They are reacting!

Stay positive, stay upbeat, and act through your own intentions.

What does acting through your own intentions mean?


Acting through your own intentions is something you come to over years. You are peeling back the layers of programming to get closer to your core. Every year that goes by you will get better at acting through your own intentions if that is a marker you are striving for.

Chaos vs Grounding


A man and a woman each have different sides when we think about polarity.

Behaviors Women Have (subtle) – Feminine Polarity
*Being totally fulfilled and raptured by the energy of the environment
      - Ever see a group of girls dancing and having fun out of a nightclub
      - A friend comes up and says hi and they start jumping up and down screaming

*A girl’s bedroom
      - A unicorn poster
      - Pictures
      - Teddy bears

*Dressing and walking in a way that gets attention
      - Girls have a certain way of walking and dressing that draws your attention.

*Enjoying whatever she is doing and not scanning the room looking for people to meet
      - Have you ever noticed a really hot girl and how they tend to walk a straight line – they aren’t looking around like the needy guy who is value scanning.

For example, you’re at a restaurant, and a gorgeous girl walks through on her path as everyone else turns their head. A girl who has had that attention for years and years doesn’t react to that attention – and that makes you want her more.

Like the cover of Cosmo magazine – girls have that bitch look where they look like they are doing their own thing and it makes you want her more.

*Letting the energy of the environment flow through her and dancing on the same spot for hours on end and playing mock bisexual with her friends.
      - On one level some girls just want to dance – maybe they have a BF and don’t want to dance with other guys

Because we are social beings, when we are doing something that our brain tells us has value and gives us status, we’ll tend to stick there.

Say a girl is up on the stage dancing with her friends, and she has the attention, the value – she is in the warm end of the pool.

That is why a girl can dance in the same spot for 4 hours.

When you see a girl dance and you don’t know how, it looks hypnotizing. If you take a dance class, you’ll realize it is pretty straightforward.

*Rarely being the one to call, ask out, or reinitiate the conversation
      -You can be talking to a girl and the conversation gets split, and the girl won’t reinitiate – maybe she’ll go back to talking to her friends

Her unconscious mind has taught her to be the prize. Girls are socially conditioned to not reinitiate the conversation – they create that polarity that draws you toward her again.

*Losing interest in sex if she comes out of a happy emotional state
      -A woman’s unconscious mind has developed a way to put guys in a situation where they always need to keep the woman in a happy state

*Only being moved by an energy that is better than the one she is already experiencing
      - For example, you meet a woman who is having a great time with her friends and you come along and you’re not offering more value to the situation than she is having on her own – of course she
        isn’t going to be moved by it
      - The girl will go wherever the social energy is
      - This is why looks has so little to do with attracting women

*Rewarding good behavior with little tastes of physical attention

What do all of these behaviors add up to?

These behaviors suck the guy in – it gives you a vexing feeling that if you don’t keep her in a good emotional state and satisfy her needs that she’ll walk away.

It gets you in a reactive state – you become emotionally invested and more attached to the outcome.

The more that you invest, the more you backwards rationalize that your investment had a good reason and you continue the cycle.

What the girl is putting into you is “I’m totally happy on my own.”

The energy of the environment is fulfilling her, she doesn’t need the guy for the good emotions.

Most guys go down the path of supplication. They try to create polarity by buying the girl things or taking her on a date.

A girl wants a guy who is attracted to her, but she wants the game of trying to get your attention.

On one level she wants you to be responsive, but not too much.

When you are centered, she pulls you out of it, but then you return to being centered, and then she pulls you out of it…

What are some things guys can do to exert masculine polarity?


*Being at home in the environment

When you are out at a club and you don’t feel at home there, women can sense that.

“This is my house, and everyone here is my friend.”

When you approach, you have that full expectation that you are already friends.

Some guys are able to achieve this by going to the same venue over and over.

I happen to frequent a bar on the landing called Morgan Street. If you look at my field reports, you’ll notice that I have better results at that venue. I actually started going to more chill venues in Soulard, and I’ve been having no success there. I know it isn’t the venue’s fault, it is all my own internal beliefs, but the point is I feel so “at home” at Morgan Street because I go there so often. Ideally, you’ll learn to “be at home” wherever you go.

*Carrying yourself with total confidence and playful cockiness
      - Having that swagger

The swagger is when you are feeling that vibe in yourself. You have that relaxed feeling inside and on a very subtle level, it is emanating from you.

I joke about this with my friend Josh all the time. He literally walks in a manner that looks fucking cool. He doesn’t do it on purpose, it is just that vibe he projects in the way he walks.

I’ve started to develop my own swagger. This is especially apparent when I’m out at Morgan Street (my favorite venue). My wing has a broken leg, so he has to walk exceptionally slow. After going out with him a few times, I naturally walk extremely slow – and it is fucking awesome.

*Being the source of grounding energy and asserting that what you have to say is interesting, funny, and worth being heard

Even when what you are saying is not objectively funny, it is subjectively funny. People laugh at things you say that in context have no humor, but the way you say it is funny.

*Leading the conversation in whatever direction you want it to go

You want to be the anchor of the conversation. Tim likes to call girls out when they get serious in a club and yell: “what are you talking about! We’re in the club.”

If the girl is having a conversation with you that you are interested in, you don’t have to change the conversation. You are simply leading the conversation in the direction that you want it. If you are enjoying her conversation, she is speaking for your approval.

*Positioning yourself as already chosen by every girl in the environment, and you are choosing the girl that you like

When a girl walks by that you want to meet, and you pull her in to speak with her, you are not trying to impress her. You are assuming that you are already chosen. It is your house, your party – Tim calls this “being the lord.”

When you pull her in, the unconscious sub-communication is: “now is your chance.”

You are communicating: “I see what I want, and I take it.”

If you are a guy who takes what you want, a girl will trust you and feel more comfortable with you.

This happened to me the other night. I met a girl at the bar and brought her home, and she said that she felt so comfortable with me. I led the conversation and her the entire night. When we were leaving, I said: “yo, we’re going to the casino, come on.” I grabbed her hand and took her along. When I was getting ready to head home I said: “come back with us, I want to hang out with you.”

She happily obliged because I had already demonstrated that I take what I want. I also project a great comfort vibe with girls easily and naturally. This is especially noticeable when I meet people through my social circle. It is obnoxiously easy for me to hook up with girls through my social circle because I am so natural at projecting a fun and comfortable vibe. I’m so accustomed to being in a high-stimulus night club where girls are getting drunk and dancing that when I meet a girl outside of the club it feels surreal.

Carrying yourself as the one who is already chosen makes speaking with a girl you want to meet completely natural. It is needy if you are giving your power away, but when you aren’t it is extremely effective.

This is so effective and easy that you can easily develop an ego around this, and then it won’t be effective.

Tyler talks about this for a bit in the Blueprint. Tyler learned how to be the selector. About a month in, Tyler got to the point where he was just doing it to prove his new theory, and he wasn’t going in to be the selector, he was going in to get validation – validation for the technique, not for himself. That is why having the identity of being a “pick-up artist” is so self-destructive.

The only guy in the world that wants validation from a girl he isn’t even remotely attracted to is a “pick-up artist.”

When you as a man have a lot of polarity, a woman feels that you will do whatever you want because you are the chooser. Because of this, she understands that you can walk away and get another girl.

These behaviors make the girl feel protected and have fun while in your presence, but she also feels challenged by the fact that you are so indifferent to social constraints that if she doesn’t hold your attention you might stray.

Women want to experience a range of emotions.

How many emotions do guys want to experience?

What is the sweet spot? – happy, chill, some adrenaline, and getting off…
- If you could maintain that sweet spot how happy would you be? Haha

Men are limited to a smaller range of emotions.

Drawing State


Why is it that when we have masculine polarity we must draw state from ourselves, but a woman draws state from the environment?

The environment is always changing, and a woman can draw state off the environment because she wants to experience a full range of emotions.

As a man, you can get pissed off, angry, annoyed, or unhappy when you are drawing state from the environment. You can enjoy the environment, but you don’t have the luxury of drawing state from the environment.

What does it mean to draw state within yourself?

We have been taught to always look at the surface of things. BUT the truth is we can feel good inside ourselves at any point – it is a decision everyone can make.

Once you realize that state is self-generated, a lot of your motivations completely change. That little realization changes everything. Rather than trying to draw state from the environment, you realize that you can draw state from within yourself.

What are some ways to change your state?

In a night club there is crazy stimulation constantly bombarding you. When you can slow it down, you think of how you fit in within the environment, and you are more connected to that higher self – you see the depth in things. The congruence tests and nonsense don’t affect you as much anymore.

When you slow down and relax, you enter a very calm state. You allow the perception to dilate and see more depth. You can look at the floor, the table, or other people and see more depth.

Your mind is not scattered anymore. You can feel good within yourself.

That doesn’t mean you can’t be high energy, you still can, and should…but you can consciously choose to feel good within yourself.

You don’t need to look at the environment to give you instant gratification to feel good.

When you are speaking with a woman having a conversation, but you are seeing the depth, you are accessing that higher self, and you are connected to your masculine power.

You are naturally relaxed and your rhythm flows.

When you are experiencing consciousness, everything is smooth and you are in the moment.

When you are focused on the “petty little me,” you are being self-conscious.

Try yelling really loud and change your physiology. I like Tim’s method of yelling “woo!” really loud. You can jump up and down and get excited too.

When you are having a great night, you are not “the doer,” everything is just “happening through you.”

You can pump your own state at will – you can choose to feel good.

Allow yourself to slow down and stop worrying about petty little bullshit and just be aware of what is going on around you.

You can go into club and pump yourself up. Go into the club and yell! Jump up and down, clap your hands, do whatever you want!

It is so easy to change your state and make yourself feel good.

You won’t find that energy to draw state by feeding off other people’s reactions. You have to draw it from within yourself.

You cannot be the source of grounding energy when you are trying to draw state off the environment. It is fine to enjoy the environment – if you love the music, great! – but it cannot be your primary source of where you draw state.

Many people chase high status people because they are trying to draw state off of them. When you get to a point where you can draw state from within easily, you can walk up to a drop dead gorgeous woman and be completely relaxed and naturally screening.

When you transcend that desperate need, that is when you start getting the gorgeous and amazing girls.

When you experience the depth of a woman you are talking to, superficial looks become less important and ironically, you’ll have much greater success with gorgeous women without effort.

Most guys are trying to draw state from a girl’s reactions – they are reaction seeking, they are being outcome dependent.

If you are in the habit of trying to draw state of the environment, it won’t be natural to walk up to a girl and try to draw state from within.

You can consciously force yourself to do this, but it isn’t ideal. You want to always be drawing state from within yourself.

“How you do anything is how you do everything.”

How does this relate to sex?

If you have a relationship, you cannot be drawing state from the same girl if you are having sex frequently. Sex is an outpouring of energy – it is the most pure form of offering value.

Remember when you first had sex with a girl that wanted to be slapped, choked, or spanked – and you were like – uhh…ok and you were like wtf? Haha

Some girls want their hair pulled – they want to be roughed around.

Girls want that good sex and want you to meet their needs. Why is that?

Women draw state from their environment. They want to experience a wide range of emotions, they want that passion.

Sex is a huge expression of a wide range of emotions for women.

Using Tactics/Routines

This is where using tactics becomes an issue. When you rely on tactics, you are seeking an outcome and relying on the woman’s reaction to boost your internal state. You are walking on eggshells. If you don’t get the reaction you are seeking, you’ll lost state immediately and go into a downward spiral.

When a girl is giving you congruence tests, she is testing you to see if you are holding your state. At some point in the interaction, a girl will fully withdraw any indicators of interest so there is no conceivable way that if you are drawing state from your environment you’ll maintain that state.

Maybe she goes to the bathroom…if you are relying on her reaction for your internal state, you’ll immediately lose it and get inside your head.

As soon as you are affected by this, you lose.

The best guys don’t read indicators of interest. If you don’t notice them, you won’t be reactive. It isn’t something you want to focus on!

Button Pushing

#1 Button Pushing Method
In order to achieve polarity, most guys entertain the girl by talking about topics she likes so she will feel drawn towards you.

When you say something like: “you and I will not get along,” a girl is immediately going to reciprocate with: “yes we would!” and she’ll start validating you by touching you, etc…

#2 Button Pushing Method

Disrupting her reality. She will want to reassert her reality by getting you to respond to her in a way you want.

These “button pushing” methods aren’t necessarily bad, but you can’t rely on them. It is fun to do this stuff once in a while, but you can’t be reactive to it. You can’t draw state by seeking reactions.

30 Second Make-out


If you want to get an instant make-out with a complete stranger in the club, all you have to do is disrupt her reality.

Tyler gives examples in the blueprint, but I’m not going to touch on that. It is a cool thing to know how to do, but it is completely pointless as far as growth is concerned.

The button push is a thrill, and when you learn how to do it, you feel like you are an attractive guy. I mean, how many of your friends can get a make-out in 30 seconds? How many of your friends can approach a random girl and make her laugh?

Now, this is cool and all, but in the end, there is no point in looking like a total pimp if you are going home alone.

If you button push a girl and shatter her reality, but then you validate her by making out, she is going to walk away immediately. This seems shocking at first, but when you look into it and understand what is going on, it makes perfect sense – her reality crumbles, you re-validate her, and she is ready to go on with her night. This is why “button pushing” will not help you out when meeting women.

You can play the “hard to get” style, but you have to follow it all the way from the start to the end. It is like walking a tightrope. You can make it happen, but that is the “high wire act of the decade.”

You can make it work, but you are playing a tightrope act. If you make one little mistake, she will just leave.

It isn’t the girls fault, you are the cause of it. When you are relying on button push after button push, you are creating masculine polarity in the wrong way. The second you fail to get the right reaction out of the woman, you lose her immediately.

When you have that polarity, a different set of rules apply to you. You can ask rapport seeking questions right off the bat. What you are doing on the surface can be generic, but the depth is completely different.
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#1

detourxl~

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/01/2009 | Posts: 609

Drama - thank you so much for giving this value. Have been following your series.

Please keep up the good work- you're over halfway there now! I actually started something very similar a few months ago writing in a book. But I didn't have the discipline and motivation to keep it up, shame actually cos when I made notes like you've made it helped me internalize it better.

Anyway - sterling work my man (you got a lot farther than me!)
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"let the game be beautiful" Ryan~

MY PRE BOOTCAMP JOURNAL - a very honest account of a guy trying to transform this area of his lifehttp://www.rsdnation.com/node/176546

ALEXANDER BOOTCAMP REVIEW - Oslo, September 2011 http://www.rsdnation.com/node/200440

POST BOOTCAMP JOURNAL - holding myself accountable, seeing how far I can go. http://www.rsdnation.com/node/201364
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#2
Drama

Drama

Trusted Member

Join Date: 02/26/2008 | Posts: 3625

detourxl wrote:
Drama - thank you so much for giving this value. Have been following your series.

Please keep up the good work- you're over halfway there now! I actually started something very similar a few months ago writing in a book. But I didn't have the discipline and motivation to keep it up, shame actually cos when I made notes like you've made it helped me internalize it better.

Anyway - sterling work my man (you got a lot farther than me!)
Thanks man! Means a lot. It isn't too late to start working on your book. I took a long break between parts when I was working on this. I get intermittently more busy than other times and have to take a break, but I hate not finishing something I start.

I haven't started working on Part VII (too busy meeting up with girls - high quality problems smile). Seriously, you should work on your book! It is never too late to get back into writing. I'll definitely finish this series sooner than later!!
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#3
MOUTHPEACE

MOUTHPEACE

Junior Member

Join Date: 10/02/2010 | Posts: 5

Hey man i just wanted to let you know how much i appreciate your blueprint notes here. Im totally new on here and this is my first post. I've been lurking on the forums for a while but i figured i would make my first post on your thread since it's helped me so much. These write ups have been so valuable to me it ridiculous. Anyway keep up the awesome work and ill be looking forward to your next entry! 
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#4
Drama

Drama

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Join Date: 02/26/2008 | Posts: 3625

MOUTHPEACE wrote:
Hey man i just wanted to let you know how much i appreciate your blueprint notes here. Im totally new on here and this is my first post. I've been lurking on the forums for a while but i figured i would make my first post on your thread since it's helped me so much. These write ups have been so valuable to me it ridiculous. Anyway keep up the awesome work and ill be looking forward to your next entry! 
Massively appreciate it. I will put some time in and finish the series up after this weekend. I should have some good input after my bootcamp!
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#5
Rafael_BR

Rafael_BR

Junior Member

Join Date: 11/26/2010 | Posts: 8

 Drama, this is a good stuff. 

I read your post and after watch the dvd's, it's so easy to understand and learn.

Thanx
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#6

theuprising

Respected Member

Join Date: 03/04/2010 | Posts: 392

 state is the most dangerous thing you can teach a non-out there newbie imo. Its too attractive, and relying on it rather than your own inner strength of your reality is dangerous. Its cool, imo, just for newbies to see what's possible but it shouldn't be your clutch. Its just a state where right action feels really good, but that doesn't mean right action should be stopped once off state (and right action INCLUDES buying into mindsets, not micro managing, giving yourself higher value, brushing little things off your shoulders, all those small mental things are really in YOUR CONTROL. Unless you believe that they are not)
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#7
BAWLS

BAWLS

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Join Date: 02/27/2008 | Posts: 2591

did he have the complete series or did he end this with VI?
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#8
Drama

Drama

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Join Date: 02/26/2008 | Posts: 3625

BAWLS wrote:
did he have the complete series or did he end this with VI?


10 part series. I got cut short on finishing due to various circumstances, but I'll work on pushing it out soon. I have plenty of free time while recovering still, so I'll get this out...just not too fast - want it to be quality ;)
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#9
Drama

Drama

Trusted Member

Join Date: 02/26/2008 | Posts: 3625

theuprising wrote:
 state is the most dangerous thing you can teach a non-out there newbie imo. Its too attractive, and relying on it rather than your own inner strength of your reality is dangerous. Its cool, imo, just for newbies to see what's possible but it shouldn't be your clutch. Its just a state where right action feels really good, but that doesn't mean right action should be stopped once off state (and right action INCLUDES buying into mindsets, not micro managing, giving yourself higher value, brushing little things off your shoulders, all those small mental things are really in YOUR CONTROL. Unless you believe that they are not)
I agree. STATE isn't as important as I made it out to be. I wrote this back when I was still state dependent myself, and now I understand that regardless of your emotions, you just go through the motions!
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#10
MOUTHPEACE

MOUTHPEACE

Junior Member

Join Date: 10/02/2010 | Posts: 5

Hey dude any word on how part 7 is coming along?
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