THE FORUMS
Cleaning my Closet
Dude good you discovered the 80/20 rule.
So cut out the crap.
Also the crappy girls.
You deserve A girls (the good 20%)
So cut out the crap.
Also the crappy girls.
You deserve A girls (the good 20%)
__________________
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Yeah, 80 / 20 has done worlds of good for me! So glad I learned about it basically what it boils down to for me is to continually cut the crap and keep the good :)
Man this last round has been especially difficult though. I keep waking up in the middle of the night wishing I hadn't cut this one girl but I know from experience it was headed in the wrong direction. For whatever reason she took the wheel and started to steer us over a cliff.
I had met this girl about a year ago out on the town at a dance lesson. She was on a date and I couldn't help but notice how gorgeous she was. It was as powerful as gravity itself and I ended up in her space conversing with her despite her well groomed bf was right next to her.
Then about 6 months later I saw her at the bar and stopped her. She immediately remembered me despite I hadn't seen her any since that initial meet which lasted for about 5 minutes. Turns out we worked together but I never knew it. From that point on I would see and talk to her at work. I didn't want anything awkward to happen between somebody I work with and EVERY body at work noticed us together. She continually asked me out though. And at several occasions I agreed to meet her at the bar after getting cordial text messages from her that seemed rather personable. I would show up and about 10 retarded jerk bag guys would be around her. She effectively used me as a pivot at that point, cuddling up to me then rolling off and onto some other guy. I always walked away knowing I didn't have to put up with that crap cause there were so many other girls I knew at the bar (I know everybody).
She started chasing me though. Told me she liked me, wanted to hang out with me, etc. Well most recently we both got laid off from our job. She continued to stay in touch with me and even tried to get me a job where she got hired on. I was really quite thrilled. I never really hung out with her though as she moved about 2 hours away. Then one weekend she was back and she invited me out but didn't tell me it was to meet her parents. So I showed up and she introduced me to her parents & siblings. They were all very nice. I was quite thrilled this girl was going to such ends and so nice to me.
Turns out I ended up having to go to the town she lives in now for extended business trip (where I'm at now). In a email updating all my friends I informed them of where I'm going and to keep in touch. Well she immediately wrote me back and said how excited she was I was coming to her town and I had to let her know when I get there so we could go out. I finally ended up in her town and went to get a hold of her.
1. I called and left message to say basically I'm up in your neck of the woods. What part of town are you in? Give me a call when you get this I want to go exploring the town.
2. Next day, I left an email saying, I couldn't catch you by phone but I am going out to a dancing event. Should be great fun. Wanted to let you know drop me a line when you get a chance.
Couple days go by no response. I don't think much of it. Figure she's out of town or busy. Sign onto facebook to check my account and notice she's been plastering crap all over her wall, posting pictures, etc. etc. etc. I'm really quite upset that she didn't bother to call me back cause she obviously has time to play with her facebook but feels it's ok to leave her friends hanging. I sit on it for a few days to let my mind clear. Then say this is a bunch of BS. Send her a cordial email something to the effect...
Hey, maybe you're not the friend I thought you were. I'm not sure what you're up to but I don't take well to being brushed off. It doesn't set well with me and I'm too busy to play phone games with you. I really like that you asked me out but I'm going to have to decline. Hope you enjoy your new friends.
I proceed to delete all her contact information. Then about a week later message comes into my phone. It's her asking me out as if nothing ever happened. I told her a simple "no" and never spoke with her since.
I absolutely know what I did was the right thing. It's not always easy to do the right thing though and it bothers me that it ended up the way it did.
Man this last round has been especially difficult though. I keep waking up in the middle of the night wishing I hadn't cut this one girl but I know from experience it was headed in the wrong direction. For whatever reason she took the wheel and started to steer us over a cliff.
I had met this girl about a year ago out on the town at a dance lesson. She was on a date and I couldn't help but notice how gorgeous she was. It was as powerful as gravity itself and I ended up in her space conversing with her despite her well groomed bf was right next to her.
Then about 6 months later I saw her at the bar and stopped her. She immediately remembered me despite I hadn't seen her any since that initial meet which lasted for about 5 minutes. Turns out we worked together but I never knew it. From that point on I would see and talk to her at work. I didn't want anything awkward to happen between somebody I work with and EVERY body at work noticed us together. She continually asked me out though. And at several occasions I agreed to meet her at the bar after getting cordial text messages from her that seemed rather personable. I would show up and about 10 retarded jerk bag guys would be around her. She effectively used me as a pivot at that point, cuddling up to me then rolling off and onto some other guy. I always walked away knowing I didn't have to put up with that crap cause there were so many other girls I knew at the bar (I know everybody).
She started chasing me though. Told me she liked me, wanted to hang out with me, etc. Well most recently we both got laid off from our job. She continued to stay in touch with me and even tried to get me a job where she got hired on. I was really quite thrilled. I never really hung out with her though as she moved about 2 hours away. Then one weekend she was back and she invited me out but didn't tell me it was to meet her parents. So I showed up and she introduced me to her parents & siblings. They were all very nice. I was quite thrilled this girl was going to such ends and so nice to me.
Turns out I ended up having to go to the town she lives in now for extended business trip (where I'm at now). In a email updating all my friends I informed them of where I'm going and to keep in touch. Well she immediately wrote me back and said how excited she was I was coming to her town and I had to let her know when I get there so we could go out. I finally ended up in her town and went to get a hold of her.
1. I called and left message to say basically I'm up in your neck of the woods. What part of town are you in? Give me a call when you get this I want to go exploring the town.
2. Next day, I left an email saying, I couldn't catch you by phone but I am going out to a dancing event. Should be great fun. Wanted to let you know drop me a line when you get a chance.
Couple days go by no response. I don't think much of it. Figure she's out of town or busy. Sign onto facebook to check my account and notice she's been plastering crap all over her wall, posting pictures, etc. etc. etc. I'm really quite upset that she didn't bother to call me back cause she obviously has time to play with her facebook but feels it's ok to leave her friends hanging. I sit on it for a few days to let my mind clear. Then say this is a bunch of BS. Send her a cordial email something to the effect...
Hey, maybe you're not the friend I thought you were. I'm not sure what you're up to but I don't take well to being brushed off. It doesn't set well with me and I'm too busy to play phone games with you. I really like that you asked me out but I'm going to have to decline. Hope you enjoy your new friends.
I proceed to delete all her contact information. Then about a week later message comes into my phone. It's her asking me out as if nothing ever happened. I told her a simple "no" and never spoke with her since.
I absolutely know what I did was the right thing. It's not always easy to do the right thing though and it bothers me that it ended up the way it did.
I always hate when I have to show the not so fun side of myself. I know it's a must at some point otherwise a girl can easily turn your life inside out with complete rediculous bs. The girl in the previously mentioned post tried to ask me out again. This is now as you can see over a month from when the original hanky panky bs part took and I stopped talking to her.
I got a text from her despite I had erased her from my phone ( I think I like the x-list idea but cannot seem to stop texting the x-list) lol so I pretty much have to drop the numbers all together. But at any rate, I saw a text from a random number: Let's just use the names Joe and Sally for the sake of this retext-in-ation. I'm still somewhat overly cautious about my name espcially since I've got a fan of my website now who constantly keeps stalking me.
Her: R u up for the moon sat? Ill be there @ 9 w a few others for friend's bday. U should come :)
Me: Who is this I lost my phone?
Her: Hi Joe! Its Sally. How are you liking phx? (I moved to phx whole premiss of difficulty with this girl. She moved there form my home town and wanted to go out with me when I moved there but never returned any of a 1/2 dozen messages or so after I arrived. However seemed to have pleanty of time to keep up with her facebook profile.)
I call about an hour later cause I don't want to text back and forth. No response, and I leave no message cause she never returned any last time. I don't attempt to get a hold of her again until Monday 4 days later.
Me: Sally?
Now I don't know what to do here. Perhaps all's forgotten? Perhaps she's not going to be a little ninny and play games anymore? I'm not so sure. After the last text she immediately texted me back.
Her: Hi Joe!
I have a really hard time with this stuff. Hince why I quit talking to her. It's soo much easier to just meet a new girl and forget the bs. Although I have no idea where this came from in the first place or why she started playing games to begin with. In the week prior to trying to call her originally, she introduced me to her parents. Then she excalimed how excited she was to have me moving up to Phx where she's at. And said I absolutely had to get a hold of her first thing when I get there so we could go out.
I've known her for over a year now and she's always been good at getting back with me. But I just don't know about this BS I had to put up with. I was speaking with an older friend of mine when the text came in and he said sometimes you just have to be forgiving as we're all not perfect.
At the least I don't know if I'll get around to returning her text just yet. I really don't know what to say to her and I've met a handful of new girls despite she still excites me. She looks like the girl in the photo of Alexander's last post and I've been attracted to her since the day I met her. But it wasn't even remotely cool that she left me hanging for so long and despite how she looks I don't give any special favors / exceptions to my values for looks. That would be rediculous.
I got a text from her despite I had erased her from my phone ( I think I like the x-list idea but cannot seem to stop texting the x-list) lol so I pretty much have to drop the numbers all together. But at any rate, I saw a text from a random number: Let's just use the names Joe and Sally for the sake of this retext-in-ation. I'm still somewhat overly cautious about my name espcially since I've got a fan of my website now who constantly keeps stalking me.
Her: R u up for the moon sat? Ill be there @ 9 w a few others for friend's bday. U should come :)
Me: Who is this I lost my phone?
Her: Hi Joe! Its Sally. How are you liking phx? (I moved to phx whole premiss of difficulty with this girl. She moved there form my home town and wanted to go out with me when I moved there but never returned any of a 1/2 dozen messages or so after I arrived. However seemed to have pleanty of time to keep up with her facebook profile.)
I call about an hour later cause I don't want to text back and forth. No response, and I leave no message cause she never returned any last time. I don't attempt to get a hold of her again until Monday 4 days later.
Me: Sally?
Now I don't know what to do here. Perhaps all's forgotten? Perhaps she's not going to be a little ninny and play games anymore? I'm not so sure. After the last text she immediately texted me back.
Her: Hi Joe!
I have a really hard time with this stuff. Hince why I quit talking to her. It's soo much easier to just meet a new girl and forget the bs. Although I have no idea where this came from in the first place or why she started playing games to begin with. In the week prior to trying to call her originally, she introduced me to her parents. Then she excalimed how excited she was to have me moving up to Phx where she's at. And said I absolutely had to get a hold of her first thing when I get there so we could go out.
I've known her for over a year now and she's always been good at getting back with me. But I just don't know about this BS I had to put up with. I was speaking with an older friend of mine when the text came in and he said sometimes you just have to be forgiving as we're all not perfect.
At the least I don't know if I'll get around to returning her text just yet. I really don't know what to say to her and I've met a handful of new girls despite she still excites me. She looks like the girl in the photo of Alexander's last post and I've been attracted to her since the day I met her. But it wasn't even remotely cool that she left me hanging for so long and despite how she looks I don't give any special favors / exceptions to my values for looks. That would be rediculous.
Youre taking this way too personally bro - shit happens.
Also, being persistent doesn't mean calling and emailing one day after another. And then creating a dramatic scene of having your feelings hurt.
A cool mofucka doesn't care - doesnt get too emotionally involved in it - and just asks later and doesn't read too much into the situation.
Whatever it is, let it go. You can't understand girls - no point to get all pissed off for nothing.
Remain un-affected, stay positive, and GET her on the phone, and escalate that shit in person. No one likes a whiner.
Cheers bro,
RF
Also, being persistent doesn't mean calling and emailing one day after another. And then creating a dramatic scene of having your feelings hurt.
A cool mofucka doesn't care - doesnt get too emotionally involved in it - and just asks later and doesn't read too much into the situation.
Whatever it is, let it go. You can't understand girls - no point to get all pissed off for nothing.
Remain un-affected, stay positive, and GET her on the phone, and escalate that shit in person. No one likes a whiner.
Cheers bro,
RF
Chocked!
Senior Member
Join Date: 07/03/2008 | Posts: 276
Mainly these are girls I find that are mind f@#ks. When I sit back and evaluate the situation logically I can clearly see they are playing games, being obviously flakey to get results they feel they couldn't get otherwise, or just too plain insecure to behave like a mature human being. Thes girls come off as completely value seeking and manipulative as I meet more girls that aren't this way and are just plain cool, fun, individuals out for a good time, and to enjoy life.
I had a fundamental difference in opion from another friend of mine whom feels I am being reactive by deleting contact info, avoiding further contact with these girls so long as they elicit behavior X, and moving on. I can see where he's coming from as he mentioned he rarely deletes these girls and many times they come rushing back to him. I too experience this but in my experience people never really change and I end up getting Behavior X shoved back in my face again. Hence why I've started rooting these people out of my life.
I think mainly I'm posting this because I met one girl that was espcially hard to delete and move on from. I knew if I didn't cut contact from her that I would continue down the negative rabit hole while I could be out meeting girls where I didn't have to put up with the BS second rate behaviors.