January 17th, 2019
Connor's College Journal
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Senior Member

Join Date: 06/29/2008 | Posts: 176


I'm eighteen and a freshman in college. [Edit: I'm twenty.]

I've been reading this pick-up stuff since I was about 15. I would randomly practice it when I got the chance but for the most part I made a lot of excuses and never made a real effort to actually get in-field experience. Now that I'm in college, I have the opportunity to put myself out there and get this part of my life handled. I went to NYC Hot Seat with Tyler in 2010 and it really helped set me in the right direction.

I made this to document my progress, to help me remember my experiences and laugh at myself later on, and I guess to give value and help people (although I would be careful about taking any of my advice).

(Anyone feel free to give me input on where I can improve and really any other advice you think would help me!)

LR = Lay Report in the sense that it's a fresh lay off cold approach or the first time sleeping with a girl.
FR = Field Report in which I don't have sex with a new girl. If I had sex with her at least once before I still count it as a field report.

First weekend in College! An exciting time. 15K student population, everyone says it's a great party school. I'm an engineering major and looking to get the most out of my college experience. I've been reading up on RSD stuff for a few years now and, for most of my high school career did two things: keyboarded jockeyed and choded. This will not happen anymore in college.

Unpack, say bye to parents, meet everyone, most kids on my floor are nerdy engineers but still really nice guys. I befriend everyone.

Sunday Night first weekend:
Me and this kid on my floor walk out to pick up two handles he is having a friend drop off for him. On the way back, me, being super excited that I'm about to revel in delicious alcohol, see a HB8 standing there. She actually opens me and goes "Hey."
Me: "WOOO I'm Connor! What's your name?!"
HB8: HB8!
Me: What's going on later tonight you partying!?
HB8: HAHAHA hell yeah. Me and a bunch of my friends are pregaming in my dormroom, which one you from?
Me: Hall C girll
HB8: Noo way do you know john?
Me: Of course I love john
HB8: Thats sick
Me: Were gonna go pregame in his (kid I got handle with's) dorm give me your number

The kid I was with thought he was gonna get these other girls he knows from high school to come pregame with us but they flaked. I txt HB8 and she tells me where shes at. Me, having taken several shots, can't understand her simple instructions. I proceed to call her FIVE TIMES and each time she gives me explicit instructions to her dorm. Finally she just comes outside and shows us to her dormroom. We get in, it's her, her (hot) roomate, and 3 girls from her floor. I tell her to give me a chaser and she complies while laughing. It's becoming increasingly obvious to me that HB8 likes me. John and his crew come in and we all pregame some more.

It's going good, we take more shots. Finally we head out to this purportedly insane frat party. Sweet. As we are walking HB8 is in close proximity to me and I claw her in. We're walking and I'm asking her chode questions (but get away with it since its the first weekend nobody knows each other). We are both from the same state and both like similar bands I hold her hand and shes loving me. At one point the group stops at a stoplight. I keylock her and makeout. We have a super tight connection and I'm trying to seed the pull. "What are you doing after the party?" "Sleeping in my dorm with HBdormmate LOVE YOUU GIRLL." "Haha awesome." We makeout several more times.

Quick sidenote. I have NEVER pulled a girl before. So I'm basically just experimenting at this point, getting reference experiences.

We get to the party. At this point I'm pretty drunk and, since I assume that it's a done deal with HB8 I chode a little bit. It's only like 12:30 at this point and HB8's too hyper to go back to her dorm. I figured that I would just wait it out and that I'll close her when we all walk back.

HB8's friend throws up and HB8 is kind of acting less receptive to me (most likely because earlier I was being hyper party man and now I'm being chode... and because her friend is sick). After a while of choding I decide fuck this then started talking to other girls. I'm not even opening at this point I'm just yelling nonsense and not many sets are hooking. I go up to a HB7 and claw her super chill and ask her name and say shes cute. We drunkenly talk for like 5 minutes and then she asks me (it's 2am at this point) "Want to head back I'm tired?"

I originally didn't even realize she wanted to head back with me to my dorm, I thought I was just walking her back as a gentleman (I wanted to go back too). This part of the night is blurry for me. Shame on my for being sloppy but oh well.

We start walking to my dorm and her friend comes along, on the way there I clawed HB7 and held hands (just realizing she was DTF). On the way she stops for a second and talks to her friend. We eventually go in the dorm building and literally not saying anything, I just bring her into my room. Her friend goes into John's room.

Quick side note: I'M A VIRGIN. I have no idea what I'm doing. We go in my room, wallslam, make out for 3 seconds and I go "take your close off." POOF, full compliance. I take my close off, put on a condom and start fucking her. NO LMR. Cool. I guess I was ok. 

Anyway, after much sport and merriment, she gives me a blowjob (I couldn't finish, balls) and then says she has to pee. I show her to the girls room on the floor above me and then she meets up with her friend who is just chilling in Johns room watching TV. We hang out a little and randomly the friend goes "whats her name?"

Fuck. I forgot HB7's name. The friend calls me out and calls me a douchebag, HB7 looks understandably embarrassed. I say sorry and say I'm an asshole then just walk back to my room and pass out.

I woke up the next morning and instead of reveling in what should have been a happy time I got all depressed that I didn't close HB8 (who I was positive was DTF) and was thinking that HB7 and her friend (who I found out is friends with HB8) will give me a bad reputation (that I thought I sort of deserved). (This doesn't happen of course but ruined my day lol.)

Overall an interesting night I won't soon forget (even though I don't remember parts of it).

Note: I lost my virginity but it didn't really feel like anything special happened. I figured it was going to be this momentous occasion but it wasn't a big deal really. I had only been close to closing a girl once before in 10th grade at one of my house parties but she got LMR and nothing came of it.
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Senior Member

Join Date: 06/29/2008 | Posts: 176

EDIT: Fixed spelling, added some parts I originally excluded

At my college, as a freshman who isn't a member of any sports team or in a fraternity it is a bit of a hassle to get into parties. Basically you just walk around streets that tend to have houses that host and try to get in. If you have girls with you it's easier of course. I don't. I went out with my three good engineering friends (who are chodes). We pregame a bit, roll out and start walking to a party.

Tonight we got lucky in that we actually found a spot. This party was a "risky business" themed one and literally FULL of hot girls. It's in an open garage so I don't have to worry about getting in without girls.

At almost every party/house party I've been to so far they have a $3 for one cup, $5 for two and girls drink free rule. I've craftily exploited the latter rule and have drank (drunk?) free, without fail, at EVERY party. I just go up to a random girl, tell her I have no money (or that I just want to drink free) and they'll happily get me a cup. If not I'll just find a cup laying around that is relatively clean, empty the contents, then enjoy my free, Natural Light, keg beer.

Tonight was a SHIT night for me. Basically I had it in my head to approach direct, but I did it WAYYY too direct. EVERY approach, including my warm up set was the same opener: "Hey you're fucking hot."

Needless to say I was incredibly uncalibrated and got blown out just about every time. During the night I ran into this girl who went to my high school (who is actually really hot and I've secretly wanted to fuck) who is with her 3 friends (one a fatty, other a 5, no thanks). I met the fatty before when I got lunch with HBhighschool and apparently she developed a crush on me during that lunch outing. Every time she saw me she tried to grind with me, and later on in the night HBhs told me she wanted me to "sleep over." I suppose I could have gotten more "in field" experience, but I decided to pass.

Conclusion: Got some reference experiences for opening direct. Approached basically every set, including some HOT girls, like 8s and 9s. Even though shit night, learned a lot.
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Senior Member

Join Date: 06/29/2008 | Posts: 176

By the recommendation of Powerhouse, I decided to join a fraternity.

I rushed a bunch, narrowed it down to three, and only got a callback to one. The one that gave me a callback is the "best" fraternity on campus. They party with the hottest sororities and are apparently the most selective. I personally wanted to get a callback from a different fraternity because I felt it was more engineer friendly, but didn't.

I go to the callback (where they interview you to see if they'll give you a bid) and KILLED in the interview. (You have to tell a funny story and I told one about how in 2nd grade I had diarrhea and, upon finding there was no toiler paper, used my underpants. I put them in the cabinet under the sink and, when we came back from Christmas break, my teacher investigated the smell and took out the underpants to find my name on them, embarrassing me in front of the entire class.)

I got the bid and decided, fuck it, I'll accept it (even I didn't feel like I fit in with the fraternity as much as the others as they were literally ALL jacked, alpha male jocks and I'm a little more nerdy). Honestly though it's a great way to network and get into parties, etc.

After an interesting first evening as a pledge, they took us out to an INSANE off campus party in honor of the new pledges. It was hands down the best party I've ever been to. Literal 2:1 girl-guy ratio, all GORGEOUS girls. I was like a kid in a candy store. I was super in state and full dominant. Everyone is telling me I'm awesome and they thought I was hysterical at the interview, buying me drinks, etc.

I approach on the dance floor and none of the sets click. Similar to the other night I was being WAYY too direct and was still uncalibrated. One set hooks and I lead her outside to the balcony. We're hooking up and I, on impulse, decided that the girl was ready to get shagged behind the alley way. Quite cocky I must say. I actually get her to walk down the balcony stairs and have her on the way to the alleyway. I'm kinda like "holy shit am I actually doing this?" and then I turn around and I try to hook up with her and tell her I want to do naughty things to her. Bad. Shouldn't have said that last bit. She gets freaked out and starts walking back up slowly. (I feel like if I yelled for her to come back she would have but I was just thinking "holy shit did I take that too far?" for some reason and felt I was still uncalibrated.)

I drink more, talk to more girls. Two seniors start talking to me, we vibe a little and they tell me to get them a cigarette. I'm like "if you guys have a threeway makeout with me." Them (much to my surprise) "hahaa sure just get the cigarette." I run in, ask one of the fellow pledges for a cig, go back. BOOM, threeway makeout. I forgot what happened after that but I think they seriously just used me for cigarettes haha. Oh well.

I went up to the bar to get another beer, and talked to a girl sitting at a table right nearby. As I talk to her I'm a bit tipsy and place my hand on her thigh. Shes like "I have a boyfriend" and seemed serious so I backed off.

In five minutes one of the seniors in the frat comes up to me and gets up in my face YELLING at me saying "YOU TRIED TO FINGER MY GIRLFRIEND!?" This KILLS my state and I'm like "umm, umm, I swear thats not true." Hes super wasted and just turns around and I hear nothing more of it, but it freaked me out. Think full chode rage.

Night winds down, nothing else significant happened, we get on the buses and head back to the campus. One of my pledge masters sits next to me and is like: "Yo everyones saying you were creeping on mad girls and tried to finger one tonight." I'm like "Yeah I was talking to a lot of girls but I didn't finger anyone haha I would tell you if I did." Hes like "okay just don't do it again" in a serious tone. At this point this is ALL I'm thinking about. Super out of state and still hoping the other kid doesn't try and kill me.

I get back on campus and start walking back to my dorm with one of the pledges. On the way I puke a little bit (having drank probably the most I ever had in one night in college so far). I get back to the courtyard outside my dorm (it's like 3am) and there is a group of kids smoking a hookah, one's playing guitar and there are two HB7s.

I immediately get state back, and approach the hotter HB7. This time I'm more chilled and I go: "Hey I'm Connor I thought you were cute." I can immediately tell she likes me. I talk to her about my fraternity then say "I'm sad I need a kiss." I can tell she wants to but she is giving me token resistance. Her friend is nearby with her back turned but obviously listening to everything. I, quite confidently, yell, "Hey I'm gonna hook up with your friend." HB7 I tried to hook up with stands up and talks to her friend for a second, then sits back down next to me. Makeout and more comfort, "what are you up to later?" etc.

Finally I get her to go to her dorm to "watch sick youtube videos" after a LOT of persistence. (They weren't kidding when they say be persistent haha.) My roomate was actually sleeping in my dormroom at this point so that wasn't an option.

I walk in her room and she immediately walks out and is like "wait one second." I take the opportunity to strip down to my boxers. She walks in and says, full serious: "put your clothes back on." I respond with a wallslam makeout. We hook up for what seems like an hour, FINALLY she takes her bra off after I use Ryan's "STOP BEING A AND TAKE YOUR BRA OFF" technique. I'm trying to get her panties off but she won't budge. I'm putting my thigh in between her legs, trying to rub her, everything to get her horny. No dice.

Luckily I was very chilled, very relaxed, FULL assumption that she will take them off. Not delusional confidence, factual confidence. Like it's a straight up guarantee I'll close in time. Around 5am someone knocks on the door. It's her drunk friend and of course she has to take care of her. She won't have any of my advances at this point and loses state. I decide to go back to my dorm and call it a night (I'm also incredibly tired).

I am pretty confident I would have gotten the close had that friend not came. It just goes to show you that even after a shitty night that last approach makes all the difference. I think I did pretty well for the second time I pulled.

Sidenote: Remember how I puked earlier? When walking back to my dorm I noticed that I had a few tiny puke chunks on my shirt. (I ate gum after but still, gross). Did this affect the set at all? NOPE.
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Senior Member

Join Date: 06/29/2008 | Posts: 176

The day after the fraternity pledge party, the president of the fraternity sits me down and is like "can I talk to you for a second."

Basically a bunch of guys didn't like the fact that I was "creepin' on mad girls" and told me "apparently you tried to fuck a girl in an alleyway" and that I "tried to fingerbang a girl right in front of the bar" and that several people said stuff. He told me that they all think I'm really funny, but that it's probably best that I don't pledge this semester. He told me afterwards that I could pledge for next semester however and that he still wants me to be a member.

I really don't know what to think. I originally didn't want to be in the frat but after the sick party I changed my mind. I'm conflicted: I want to go back next semester but who is to say those kids won't still hate me. Should I care that they hate me? The whole week after I was kind of depressed about the whole thing and reverted to old useless thought patterns. That next weekend after I didn't get into any parties and did ZERO approaches: not fun.

The weekend after however I got over it, grew balls, and was back to my happy, normal self.

There was two house parties right near each other that weekend. It was funny I just went in and ASSUMED I would get in, and, sure enough, I got into both without any problems. I even got my three chode engineer friends in too. Go in the basement, it's crowded as shit. I chode a little and instead of immediately approaching I go to get free beer (I took an extra cup off the bp table hehe). I squirm through the packed dancefloor and a short girl pinches my butt. I grab her hand, spin, start grinding. This girl is short but has a hot face, okay body, high 7 I suppose. I go for the makeout but she laughs and shakes her head than pinches my butt again. Her uglier friend pinches my butt too. Ok? I pinch hers then grab short girls hand. "Lets go get more beer." "HAHAHA OK" I lead her to the keg and the lines SUPER long. Instead of waiting I go and approach more girls. The girl was literally full ADD girl. It was early in the night too.

I look and see a STUNNER on the dance floor. Sooo hot. Hottest girl at the party. I go up to her. Shoulder tap. She looks at me. I don't say anything and grab her beer and drink it.
Her: "Why did you do that?"
Me: "Because I like beer."
Her: no response
Me: 'You're cute."
Her: "...You're cute too."

She turns around and starts grinding against me while I stand. I grab her hips and lead her dancing a little. (I get super in state because shes so hot. Is it bad that I"m drawing state from this?)
I turn her hips around and shes looking at me in the eyes. I go for the makeout, break it first. Shes so hot I go for it again.
Me: "What are you up to later?
Her: "I dunnooo"
Me: "What dorm you att?"
Her: "I'm actually visiting from Kentucky something College"

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. The set was done because logistically, I couldn't pull. I hook up with her more then go for another set. Honestly I would have been happy hooking up with her all night but FUCK THAT. I'm not here to fucking fall in makeout love, I want to close.

This night was different from the others when I went out in that I didn't pregame and, thus, remember the whole night clearly. Something I noticed is that, the whole night, I had NO approach anxiety. None.

I open super consistently with this: straight line to target, SHOULDER TAP, "You're cute." BOOM hooks every time.

One girl was sitting on a chair looking like she was having a shit time. Shoulder tap - "you look bored." No response. "You're cute." "Umm, thanks?" I grab her hand, spin her, and take her seat. She immediately sits on my lap. (Didn't expect that). Right away I say "what are you up to later tonight?"
"you're just saying that because you want to have sex"
This tripped me up. The correct response is "thats exactly why I approached you" in BR/C&C tonality.
I got in my head and then, rather reactively said "are you a good kisser?" She left after that.

Opened 4-5 sets after, don't feel like typing them all out. Basically 3 of them I got the "I have a bf" response. A lot of times I'll have guys come up to me and be like "dude thats my best friends girlfriend" or "thats my girlfriend asshole." I usually just say "haha I had NOO idea dude. Whats good having fun tonight?" and just assert my frame. Every time I ended up becoming friends with the guy. Cool.

Didn't close. Walked home with my friends, all in all a good night in that I learned so fucking much. I'm seeing so much potential I seriously can't wait to go out this weekend. Fuck, the game is becoming very fun. It's just a matter of getting into parties at this point.
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Senior Member

Join Date: 06/29/2008 | Posts: 176

FR: Friday Night[/b]

Went out with a bunch of my friends on my floor.

We arrive at the party, it's crowded as fuck (as with most parties where they let everyone in). I immediately go downstairs.

I see a bunch of sets. I'm in a meh state at this point. I open a girl with hey I'm Connor. I get, "Umm, hello?" I respond with "You're cute." She starts walking away with her friend. I chode and eject.

(This has been a tiny sticking point. If the girl physically starts walking away from me I assume it's not on or if she like gives me the "I'm too good for you" or "You just made a social error" or "Are you serious?" response I eject. Should I have grabbed her arm and tried to talk to her more? Perhaps I just have to plow with positivity, positive dominance, etc.)

Go up to another girl. This girl is pretty fucking hot. Shoulder tap, "Hey." She goes "want to dance?" and before I can respond starts grinding with me. Me: "You're a sexy dancer." Turn around, go for makeout. She looks down and her hair is in her face and giving me resistance. I say "you're cute" again, go for the makeout a second time, she leaves. Should I have isolated there?

Next set. HBniceboobs. "Hey you're cute." She initiates grinding. Turn her around. "You have a sexy body." Go for makeout. Resistance. Dance more, go for it again, resistance. I see her fatty friend rolling up. Immediately I'm like oh shit shes gonna blow me out. Instead, much to my surprise, the fatty goes "HOOK UP WITH HIM" and is fucking like, encouraging this girl to hook up with me. We start hooking up (shes a pretty shit kisser), I break the makeout first, talk with her a little, I say "let's go outside." Shes telling me she can't leave her roommate every time I try for the extraction. I see the roomate and go "hey I'm taking your friend upstairs." Roomate LOVES ME and is like like "okay I'll come with!!" and brings the chode she was dancing with upstairs. I lead them upstairs, we go on the porch, HBniceboobs sits on my lap and we're all talking.

(I couldn't tell if she was telling me she couldn't leave her roommate because she didn't want to, or because she literally couldn't. I guess the latter.)

I start pushing for the pull. I tell the roomate we should go back (it's only 12:30 at this point, not exactly optimal pulling time but I go for it anyway) and the roomates whispers something like "I dunno if you could handle us as a threesome so I'm gonna bring this guy ok." HBniceboobs and her roomate both decide they have to pee and walk toward bushes. I befriend the chode's and he's actually pretty cool and, like everyone else tonight apparently, wants me to close this girl. I encourage him to hook up with the roomate but he's not attracted to her.

I keep pushing for the extraction and finally we get them to start walking back to the sophomore dorms. On the way their they're like, "we need to get Matt." Turns out Matt is some guy they went out with that night and is in the dorm near them. Matt goes up to HBniceboobs and is like, "yo who is this guy." At first I'm waiting for him to blow himself out but hes not leaving the girl. I tried everything. Ignoring, trying to let himself get blown out, telling the roomate to "get rid of the creepy guy," nothing. I try to get HBniceboobs away from him but she won't leave him. I'm not really sure what to do at this point and the roomate comes up to me and straight up tells me: "Oh hes our Dr. Phil, don't worry he never gets laid, he does this to HBniceboobs all the time. Come with us..." and basically tells me I have HBniceboobs in the bag.

It's really just a judgement call on whether or not I'll get this girl. I feel like I don't have enough comfort. I mean that, the last girl I was about to pull is like all over me holding hands on the walk back, etc. This girl is walking with fucking Matt apart from the group and not really with me. I decide to go with them and we get to the dorm. HBniceboobs and Matt are both in Matt's room playing video games. I sit down next to HBniceboobs and Matt's stopping me from talking to her.

Finally I just decide to walk back. It's only like 1AM at this point but I don't want to waste my time watching them play xbox. I walk out and decide to go back to my dorm. I reactively try and open a few sets on the street solo but I'm not high energy enough and get blown out.

I get back to my dorm and txt HBniceboobs with. "Get a good sleep girlll night - Connor." Not really expecting a response she writes back "Thanks babe, you too."

I'm second guessing myself. Could I have gotten the close or not? Should I have stayed and waited for them to play video games than brought HBniceboobs back to her room or no?

First problem: failure to lead. Second problem: not building enough comfort and relying on the friends to do it for me. (On a related note, I'm expecting all the attraction to be taken care of with just the you're cute opener which isn't always the case.) Third problem: going to her dorm instead of my dorm.

I'll text HBniceboobs tomorrow night and tell you all how it goes.
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Senior Member

Join Date: 06/29/2008 | Posts: 176

 FR: Saturday Night 10/23

Me and my group roll up to a house party but as we enter I see smokeshows leaving. Turns out the keg was beat before we even arrived (the host only got one keg for whatever reason). We go in anyway.

Do some warm up sets. The second one goes well, I opened with, "how long have you been here?" and just talked about the party. I told everyone near to play flip cup and I got physical with this girl. Her friend was right nearby and was a lot hotter. I tell her to introduce me, she does, the friend is kind of low energy and like, almost sarcastic. I go: "Yo stop giving me shit right now, just be cool." Shes still low energy, I tell them where I'm from and shes live near me, she lights up and when her buying temp spikes I get physical with her. I say lets go dance. The less good looking friend wants to dance too. I try to get the hotter one to dance but shes resisting. They say they have to go to the bathroom. I eject and go to open another set.

I go upstairs and see two SMOKESHOW blonds. I open but they give me shit. I think I wasn't communicating authentically enough (I should have been more direct). At this point they leave and the party is starting to clear out. I get a txt from HBniceboobs.

HBniceboobs: sorry about last night babe
Me: Where you going tonight?
HB: Not going out tonight, still recovering from last night
Me (20 mins later): What are you doing right now?
HB: Watcing a movie
Me (hour later): You still up?
HB: Kind of
Me: I'm coming over
HB: My roomate won't be happy
Me: Your roomate loves me
HB: My roomate is trying to sleep
Me: Meet up with me outside ur dorm
HB: That would mean going outside
Me: I know
HB: I'm in my really nice bed right now...
Me: Meet me at the bridge -- (an area right near her dorm)
HB: Not tonight babe, pick another night
Me: Come outside it'l take a second (I think maybe I was being too complacent here?)
HB: Can't, I already took a sleeping pill...falling asleep... (wtf?)
Me: Come out
HB: Still in bed
Me: I'll come to your room
HB: You don't have a fob and my roomate is sleeping. I've got like 2 mints till I fall asleep

And thats it I didn't txt her back. (Fuck is an fob?) Guys PLEASE give me feedback here on what I should have done differently. Should I txt her again tomorrow night?

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Join Date: 07/09/2009 | Posts: 200

If you're in state to begin with, it's cool. It's like you're chilling, in a really relaxed simmering state, and she does something that you like, and your state rises. Your state shouldn't CRASH if she pulls away, though. If anything, she pulls away, your state returns back to simmering... you have to make it clear that she's got to do certain things to keep you burning. She does something you don't like... push her away. She grinds you in a way that's hot... reward her for it, let her know. "Fuck, that's hot." You're pleased when she does things you like, you're slightly dismissive when she does things you don't. Have her reacting and working for your approval, not the other way around... it's one of the reasons that push/pull is so effective, it keeps her pursuing YOU and trying to live up to your standards, and to keep you reacting positively.
Connor wrote:
She turns around and starts grinding against me while I stand. I grab her hips and lead her dancing a little. (I get super in state because shes so hot. Is it bad that I"m drawing state from this?)

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Join Date: 07/09/2009 | Posts: 200

Connor wrote:
 FR: Saturday Night 10/23

Guys PLEASE give me feedback here on what I should have done differently. Should I txt her again tomorrow night?


I've had a couple of experiences EXACTLY like this. 

You're pushing really hard for the meetup here. You would have been better served to not respond any more after "I'm coming over," and just show up at her place, and force her to come greet you. That's my favorite. But you'd be dealing with shitty logistics, and at best would have to close HBniceboobs while her roommate was laying there. I woulda just flirted, got some good emotions flowing, and get her wanting to see you sometime opportune in the future (as she OBVIOUSLY did since she sent that apologetic text out of the blue). Be more playful in your next text, don't be trying so hard without any liveliness and humor in your back-and-forth. Here's one of my experiences when I went from texting like this, to getting her invested in seeing me again, and I then went over and closed her at her place. Maybe something in there will click in terms of rhythm, playfulness, value offering, whatnot:

Initial Text Barrage: (12:30 AM)
Where are you, calooofornia princess slash mermaid, i need you in my undersea world. It's culinary times.
-Where are you getting food? Im at home already.
Irrelevant. Tasty treats are imment. Ally with the y, you know you're hungry. Try to get ahold of me.
I have a car. The stallionmobile. Let's go, Culinary times.
-im already home...
Perfect, then you're still. Where's that? Or you can cook for me. Do you have oreos?
-Lol maybe. I'm laying in bed now and probably shouldn't cook considering im drunk.
I'm keep you warm- i don't need a roast. Let's just eat triscuits in bed. How far away is your place?
-You are such a cutie. I live by country club.
You're like a unicorn sliding down a rainbow into a sea of kittens (cred: jeffy). On my way.
-Lol no. Im so shy now and slowly passing out.
I'll keep you awake. On my way. We'll work on the shyness together. I know cpr. 
-----> I stopped texting at this point. There was no point to keep texting, in my opinion, she didn't reply after this last one. Woulda seemed pushy. I resumed the next night, but built up slowly:

Second text Barrage: (afternoon-evening next day)
At work. Let's play twister and make up long, drawn out stories about osamabinladens romantic life.
-You can play twister at work? Can i come work with you?
Definitely. One caveat: we play naked. To apply, send a current resume, and a photo. I'll be conducting interviews.
-Hugs from my hometown!
Awww you cutie. I just want to throw you over my shoulder. Might be in Town tuna-night with some friends. Might hollar at you.
-Oo let me know.
Heyyyo. Town it is, it seems. Not sure exactly where. My friend says something about a lesbo bar. Uhhh... haha I'll keep you posted.
-Ha ha oh the new gay bar. It's pretty small but really nice. Have fun in the unisex bathrooms.
Unisex bathrooms? ...Tour guide? Anyway, we'll prolly be at CLUBSUPREME sometime, come visit.
-Lol yes unisex bathroom. Why are you comin out on a tuesday. I moved downtown by the way. So if you get bored (...DINGDING)
Yeah, it's looking quiet. It's my day off. Where downtown? I might be in the mood for some oreos and magnum pi.
-By the cop shop
Off to get oreos. God I love those things. Will call when close. Advance apology if I eat them all before showing up. I'll make up for it somehow.
-Lol not going to CLUBSUPREME?
Hell no. Oreo time. See you soon.
(Called her phone. No answer) Voicemail! Chilling at the copshop with semi glorious baked goods, and a bizarre story involving a rat. Do you live with police?
-Lol no i dont live with cops. I thought you were with friends :p

---->At this point, I just wandered over in the direction where she lived, with hangout groceries, and called her up. Got her talking, I was near her place, and she had no alternative basically but to come outside and get me. Fade to black. 

Get her in a positive, happy state, and then kindof haphazardly orchestrate a way for yourself to just show up at her place while you ramble about nonsense. Haha. That sounds kindof weird. I've always found it more effective than just blindly pushing for the meetup without any humor.
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Senior Member

Join Date: 06/29/2008 | Posts: 176

 @ Arnaut
My state definitely doesn't crash when/if she were to take away validation. Now that I think about it that night me "drawing state" was really just me building momentum (especially since she was the third set I opened) so not necessarily a bad thing.

As for the txt message, apart from the shitty logistics of her roommate being at her room, you can only get into her dorm building if you have a key card (maybe thats what she meant by "fob") so I kind of needed her to come out so I could have gotten in. I was thinking at the time that I would get her outside and then walk her the two blocks to my dormroom but of course that didn't happen.

I think the underlying problem was that I didn't assume it was on as much. Like I assumed it was on, but, in a subtle way, I felt a little needyness/not total abundance. For example, if I had full abundance I wouldn't have responded after "I'm coming over" like you suggested. (On a similar side note, for your initial text barrage, after she said "I live by country club" perhaps you should have just went over,  full assumption.)

As for the being playful, I feel like when I do that, on some level, I'm communicating that I need more attraction. The attraction is already done I felt like, she already wants me to close her it's just a matter of getting there. I probably should have been more sexual and said things like, "I'm coming... you aren't gonna get much sleep tonight ;)" or Brads patented "U don't wanna know what I'm thinking of doing to u right now."

I think I'm gonna text her tomorrow night with, "what are you doing right now?" and go from there. 

Thanks a ton for the feedback! Cheers.
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Senior Member

Join Date: 07/09/2009 | Posts: 200

Connor wrote:
As for the being playful, I feel like when I do that, on some level, I'm communicating that I need more attraction. The attraction is already done I felt like, she already wants me to close her it's just a matter of getting there. I probably should have been more sexual and said things like, "I'm coming... you aren't gonna get much sleep tonight ;)" or Brads patented "U don't wanna know what I'm thinking of doing to u right now."

I think I'm gonna text her tomorrow night with, "what are you doing right now?" and go from there. 
Hahaha yeah yeah yeah, I know what you mean. If the attraction is already there, you're right, you're golden and you can just plow into the sexuality. 

I neglected to notice at first that this is social circle stuff; when I text that nonsense at girls, those are girls I met at a club, and in the case of the text-excerpt I posted, I had talked to that chick for 10 mins in the club, makeout, number, and that was it. No connection, no social proof, nothing. I did that stuff to pump those initial positive emotions, and downplay the fact that she literally had no idea who I was. I needed to resurrect the attraction for sure.

Brad's patented text FTW. That's cool, you know your situation, you've got it figured. It's funny how sometimes we have all the insight we need, and we only need to hear inapplicable advice to recognize the apparent path that we already, deep down, know.
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Senior Member

Join Date: 06/29/2008 | Posts: 176

Sunday 10/24

Here is my unabridged text game with HBniceboobs:

M = Me, H = HBniceboobs.
M - What are you doing right now? I just finished my hw so were hanging out;) / H - Haha if you wanna finish my work for me, be my guest :) / M - Don't worry ill "finish your work" all night. Be ready to let me in / H - As fun as that sounds, I'm doing work with my roomate / M - We can do work with your roomate too if your into that stuff lol / H - I'm not allowed to let you in, my roomate will kill you / M - Come here then / M - Wear something cute too ;) / H - What you don't like me in my sweats? / M - Come to my dorm at the entry ill let you in (I ignored her "you don't like my sweats?" txt and continued on) / H - Sorry but my days in freshman housing are over babe / M - Irrelevant. Come. / H - Uuhmm... / M - My room is SOOO fucking rad you must see it. I also have a huge dvd selection and the biggest itunes library youll ever gaze upon. It's nice out. the walk will take a second (here I was trying to do the whole overselling the pull thing) / H - Cook me something to eat and I'll think about it / M - we have freshly microwaved easy mac/ramen and my moms homeade cookies / H - ...Who's we? / M - Cut the shit ;) come over / H - Not so sure that's going to happen...kind of a far walk... / M - It's a 4 minute walk it's nice out come / H - Try 15 it really worth it for me? :) / M - Ill make it worth it...U don't even want to know what im thinking of doing to u right now / H - Maybe I should make you wait... / M - What?? Come before I eat all the cookies! / I'm busy trying on halloween costumes...what should I be? / M - You should be at my room ;)

After that txt I got no response for 15 minutes. So I txt: You get lost? / H - Yeah, I made a wrong turn and ended up in the shower instead.

This fucking girl. I had been txting her for two hours at this point. I was kind of pissed off at her last text. I was just about to do Tim's "Ur shit" but then thought about it and txted this instead:

M - You didn't have to take a shower for me ;) / H - Maybe next time I'll skip the shower and take one there (ok back on track)/ M - Stop teasing me. Come over might not be getting much sleep / M - Get your sexy little ass over here right now / M - I'm dead serious / H - You're gunna have to use your imagination tonight babe... / M - What night you good for then? / H - Thurs...fri...sat...sun.. / M - And Mon/Tues/Weds? / H - Tuesday maybe/ M - k / H - Sweet dreams babe / M - you too
Monday she texts me around 6PM. H - I'm in class. Bored. Entertain me please :) I didn't respond.

Tuesday: I was literally just about to text her when I get this txt at 8. H - you coming over tonight? / M - If your roomates cool with it. / M - What time should I come? (no response for 20 minutes) / H - She just changed her mind. But thursday and friday I have free reign of the room, you're welcome to stay over. (Awesome). / M - Ask her if I can comer over tonight its not even that late yet. / H - She legit said no...shedoesn't want anyone in here. / M - come over to my dorm tonight / H - just wait two days babe ;)

I had way to much homework to go out tonight (Thursday). HBniceboobs txts me at 2am: where are you? / M - my dorm / M - Im coming over / H - I can see you for five minutes, my roomates doesn't want you over.

I didn't know if she was just saying this as plausible deniability or she geniunely couldn't. I decided to walk over anyway (only a 5 minute walk). Finally she comes outside. It's freezing out and she lets me in. She WON'T let me upstairs because her roomate won't let her. I'm tired at this point so I just say "alright it was great to see you babe" hookup and walk home.

Lesson to pound into my head: GO TO YOUR ROOM NOT HERS!

I was actually just walking back to my dorm and I saw two girls talking to each other and holding hands. I yelled out: "Are you two making out!?" "Hhaha No." (They're drunk.) "Well, are you two lesbians?" "Umm noo but we'll makeout." Bam they makeout then walk up to me. As soon as they walk up I'm thinking "no thanks," both low 6's. At this point I'm like "nice to meet you" and started to walk away. The one girl straight up ASKS ME TO GO TO HER ROOM. Shes like "I got half a bottle of Capt. Morgan come my dormrooms right there." It was flattering and, as much as I could have used the reference experience, I told her I had a girlfriend.
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