THE FORUMS

May 26th, 2017
BROner's Adventures! [17 yrs old]
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BROner

BROner

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Join Date: 01/22/2010 | Posts: 318

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BROner's up in this bitch, mothafuckas!  My whole entire life I've been raised like a total fucking pussy, with my mommy holding my hand the entire time and continuing to treat me like a little kid long past when she should've stopped. Thus, it resulted in me being totally dependent on my parents, and extremely introverted. Not until years later, just after I turned 15, did I even begin to scratch the surface of how life is supposed to really be lived. I'd been crushed by the "girl of my dreams" (lul) and in my desperation found the answer I didn't want to find. After fighting the reality for several months, I finally realized what it was that need to be changed- me. I started out on this journey, faking being a player, happy, and having my shit together. Deep-down I was still depressed and feeling absolutely inadequate. Have went through a few more traumatic events with girls, all of them ending up with me getting extremely hurt. Besides the one girlfriend I lost my virginity to (before we dated), all of my relationships (both actually dating and where I wanted to date) had resulted in me getting hurt. The most prominent is my most recent ex, whom we had been going back and forth, on and off for over a year in-between the other girls. It was the worst and most amazing experience for me at the same time. I truly loved that girl and was blessed to know that feeling, but at the same time lost my focus and ended up getting severely hurt. The lessons that came from it were also good, but the fact the thought of her still haunts me quite often is rediculous.

I aim to be what I had a hard time achieving at my old high school: popular. I moved from a small 2A school where I knew at 2/3 of the population to a school where I know 1/600 of the population. This is going to challenge to step-up, speak-up and be what I'm meant to be. I plan to get in the social mix with a lot of girls as FBs and get a lot of guy friends.My goal in this thread is to chase my inner demons and the fuck out of those little bastards. I'm on the pursuit of living the best life possible, and helping those around me have an amazing life as well. I've still got a long ways to go, but it's hard for those who haven't been there to understand just how deep I had sunken. I improve everyday, and try to push myself all the time. It's a think shell of insecurity, and I try to put as many cracks in it as fast as I can.

Along with the emotional improvements I'm trying to make, I'm also trying to get myself into a lot better shape. I want to dabble in some MMA and gain some major mass. I want to be in the best shape of my life, and have something to keep dedicated to that is good for me. I've found an absolute love for weightlifting, and am addicted to it. I've seriously fallen in love with lifting like I would a girl back a few months to a few years ago. I count down the minutes until I can get my ass back into the gym. I want to get a desirable body by both my standards and others- one guys will be jealous of and girls can't help but want. Currently following the HCT-12 routine.

Currently, this is what we're looking at:
Height: ~5' 7"
Weight: 146.5lbs
Bodyfat: 17.7%
Squat: 225lbs
Bench: 130lbs
Deadlift: 275lbs
Total: 630
(My lifts are old, haven't maxed recently, but also just started working out.

Goal by July 4, 2011: I set unreasonable goals to push myself and see how far I can get. :-)
Height: ~5' 7" <-- Be nice if that grew, but can't really help that.
Weight: 172lbs
Bodyfat: 8%
Squat: 365lbs
Bench: 245lbs
Deadlift: 415lbs
Total: 1,025lbs


I update this fairly regularly, so be sure to check back.


Main goals right now:
  • Get my license and a job.
  • Get hoooooooge!!
  • Fill up my social schedule- stay out of the house as much as possible, always have back-up plans and busy weekends. Empty days should be a rarity, not the normality.
  • Add at least 150 #'s to my phone by the end of the school year!



<3 BROner
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"It's a game filled with little peaks of success and long plateaus.  You go a bit further each time, but more walls lay ahead."-Chance
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#1
BROner

BROner

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/22/2010 | Posts: 318

9/2
First day of school. Shit went pretty good. Started the day of quiet and kind of reserved(knew nobody, nor where my classes were located.) and then started talking up. Chatting up the guys around me an of course all the good lookin' chickas. Made a new friend, exchanged numbers, and totally kept him in MY frame the whole time(new one for me).

Went for a run today, and am going to be making that a habit. Will again add more about the exercise part hopefully tomorrow.

PAYCE!
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"It's a game filled with little peaks of success and long plateaus.  You go a bit further each time, but more walls lay ahead."-Chance
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#2

TwoTyme

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Join Date: 01/08/2009 | Posts: 540

Ima be watching over this thread. Time to fuck shit up homeboy.
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#3
BROner

BROner

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/22/2010 | Posts: 318

Haha thanks mayne. Yeah, it sure is time. Long past it actually! ;)

9/3
Not much shit went down today. Still stuck in my head waaaaaay too much, but it's getting a hell of a lot better. Got up and went for a run early in the morning before school- man, that shit felt good! Went to my old school's first football game to support all my friends for the first game. Got out of my head and just talked to everybody, 2 hours of just pure social time for me... damn, was it nice!
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"It's a game filled with little peaks of success and long plateaus.  You go a bit further each time, but more walls lay ahead."-Chance
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#4
BROner

BROner

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Join Date: 01/22/2010 | Posts: 318

9/7
Fucking a! For the last couple of days, I've been tormented with the thoughts of my ex-girlfriend(whom I still "love"). Actually, it's been like that for a long time. Why? I'm still trying to figure that out. But, it's hindering my progress immensely. It's an almost-constant battle between "chode me" and "alpha me". It's making me want to crawl up into a ball in the corner of an insane asylum and start screaming at the ducks that are sitting on my head.
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#5
BROner

BROner

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Join Date: 01/22/2010 | Posts: 318

 Ok, this post is going to turn into a rant. Maybe for the few who actually read you can give me some insight, or just call me a fucking pussy. W/e.
worst part is: i have a feeling i wont be able to come at this full force until i hit rock bottom, and i dont want to. but... i think thats the only way to get out of this mediocrity.

As I said above, my ex is still constantly on my fucking mind. She was my BEST friend, literally knew better than anybody else and she just understood me. She could tell I was upset when I was barely aware of the same thing. I've been... shit I guess you'd call it obsessed over other girls in the future- thinking they were the "one". This chick was different. Yeah, yeah, cliche... fuck that. shit was fucking true.
right now, i dont have shit going for me. i have no motivation to do ANYTHING, im always tired, always in my fucking head, and always lapsing back into semi-depression because of my ex. i have no job, no license(parents wont let me), and no real mode of transportation so im stuck at home all the time, and was that way most of the summer. so yeah, when we broke up and i couldnt see my girlfriend, i had NOTHING to do but play video games and stare at a fucking wall. cool shit, right?i signed up for ap classes and pre-calc(senior course) and am dropping at least 2 if not 3 of them because im too lazy to do the homework on the pretense that im looking for a job. grades arent a problem from me, but they could always be much better. and here i am typing when i should be getting ready for bed. i always procrastinate shit and it drives me crazy.

i find it weird to just walk up and start talking to people. yeah, i know its not but.... i feel out of place doing that. i need to get out of that mindset, but as of now i get very awkward and occassionally stumble making it super weird for the people im talking to, and i dont want to fuck up the few connections i currently have at my high school.

i want to join the military, but im 50/50 on it- hell yeah lets go/your going to fucking fail miserably. ive realized lately that nobody has any hope in me now. my older sister and parents both constantly tell me im going to give up or decide i dont like it in the middle so theres no point in even fucking trying. yeah, i should use that shit as a motivation, but idk how. i get all gung-ho and then just fucking give up right afterwards.

and... im terrible about making excuses. yeah, it can be done, but i just find a reason out of everything.

i think i have seasonal depression, so that does not help my lack of motivation, at all.


welp, if you read that, you're prolly crazy.
p.s. this is after im feeling a little better. woulda been 10x worse earlier, and i know im leaving stuff out but i cant find it.

/rant/wrists

damn that got long quick.
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"It's a game filled with little peaks of success and long plateaus.  You go a bit further each time, but more walls lay ahead."-Chance
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#6
BROner

BROner

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/22/2010 | Posts: 318

 9/8
Well, after that bitch-fest last night and figuring out a lot of the shit I need to work on, I felt better all day today. Problem is, I still don't know exactly HOW to fix a lot of these things, and the thoughts are coming back again now that I'm back at home... doing nothing.

I see a lot of you reading this, and some responses would be much appreciated.
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"It's a game filled with little peaks of success and long plateaus.  You go a bit further each time, but more walls lay ahead."-Chance
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#7
BROner

BROner

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/22/2010 | Posts: 318

 9/10
Holy shit! Today was the turn-around day for me. Started the day off slow, zoning the fuck out in the morning(I sat and watched a kids show for 20 minutes and didn't even realize it until my mom asked me why I hadn't left yet... yeah, tired.), and just like "fuck it, this day's gonna be sooooo long". About half-way through the day my subconscious kicked in and kept telling me how I'm the shit. I didn't tell myself that, I just FELT it. It was amazing. Lasted all night, and is still here now, almost 12 hours later. I fucking love this feeling. So at about that point, I started to just not give a fuck. At all. Started talking, laughing, and being social with people I didn't know at all- pretty much a first for me(only other times are when there is somebody I know there and have been introduced, warmed up etc... not this time). Fast forward to the football game.. our team kicked ass today btw, 70-12, ouch. Show up, friend walks over to this chick hugs her, and then stands next to some other chick(ugly as fuuuuuck lul), and the only open seat was next to the first chick(pretty hot). So, I take it. Start talking a little about how crazy it is coming from a 2A and going to a 4A that has almost 3x as many students. Getting her talking to me, telling me a whole bunch of random stories. Some kid shows up, think she said something of him being her ex that still likes her, iunno, w/e. She pretty much ignored the kid and just kept talking to me and telling me a whole bunch of shit(95% me, 5% him- pretty much telling him funny shit I told her). She keeps trying to get me to dance with her and I'm like fuck that, I need some caffeine go get me a fucking Coke. Comes up with some excuse how it's too far to walk and she's too lazy blah blah. Couple minutes later I ditch to get a burger and she pops up next to me in line, and I yell at her "WHERE THE HELL'S MY COKE!!" and she turns around "Oh, what'd you want?" Told her to get me a Coke, she's like "they only have Dr. Pepper what size do you want?" Saved $3, score!(pretty sure it was chode kids cash too lol) Her friend comes over to us to get a pop from her, I turn to her and demand she gives me some popcorn before she can get it, she obliges(NEVER seen the chick before, didn't even asked her name, just demanded she gimme popcorn- HUGE steps for me), later comes back and I again demand she gives me cotton candy. End of game, chicks about leave, turns to give me a hug and says bye, I just look at her like wtf?(looked like she was trying to shake my hand) Give her a hug, spin her around, and then tell her to give me her number. Chode kid gets pissed off and walks away, making my day even better. Tooled a kid without trying to. Pretty damn good day for me.


Damn that was long for not getting anything out of it. She told me she's good at booty dancing so I'll toss some shit in there about that later, but meh it's all good. She's either a lay or an entrance to a TON of hot senior chicks- score either way. I'm impressed with myself. I didn't give a fuck, almost completely outcome independent and totally in the zone. Yeah, didn't kiss her, but I didn't feel the need to. I KNEW there would be more chances and it had nothing to do with fear of doing it. Hopefully I can stay in this mindset now and keep forever progressing.



SIDE NOTE: Switched into Weight Training today, glad to get the chance to get lifting again and build even more self-confidence. No fucking around this year... lift, lift, lift.



<3
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"It's a game filled with little peaks of success and long plateaus.  You go a bit further each time, but more walls lay ahead."-Chance
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#8
BROner

BROner

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/22/2010 | Posts: 318

 9/13
Currently, sick. Stayed at home today- definitely not a state booster. Birthday tomorrow, hoping to be all-better. Excited to get lifting and get some shit straightened out there. Haven't had much to post lately, hence why it's not been updated.
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"It's a game filled with little peaks of success and long plateaus.  You go a bit further each time, but more walls lay ahead."-Chance
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#9
BROner

BROner

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/22/2010 | Posts: 318

 9/15
Got a call for a job interview a few days ago, and I go in for it Friday. Good new for me- get to get my license now and will have some extra cash.
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"It's a game filled with little peaks of success and long plateaus.  You go a bit further each time, but more walls lay ahead."-Chance
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#10
BROner

BROner

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/22/2010 | Posts: 318

 9/18
Fuckin' shit. Flake, flake, flake. Cooooooool.
__________________
"It's a game filled with little peaks of success and long plateaus.  You go a bit further each time, but more walls lay ahead."-Chance
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