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December 4th, 2016
Dating Stress > Single Stress...Why
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PlayDate

PlayDate

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Join Date: 02/01/2009 | Posts: 450

I haven't dated for two years, after finding RSD.  Was doing the single life and loving it.

Found a killer girl, have been dating for two months.

But I seem way more stressed out now then when I was single.
Is this a common dating theme?
When I dated way back when, I was such a different person I can't even use that as refrence.

Only thing I can assume is I loved the 100% do what ever the fuck I want freedom, which is now gone.

Or deep down I am still a when it comes to any form of attachment.

cheers
__________________
"At the end of your life what have you've got except memories? That's it. And then poof. You know, we're all just passing through. You really do have to be selfish. You really can't love anybody else unless you're Goddamn in love with yourself. Be delusional. Be really delusional. Consciously, I know I'm not the best looking guy in the world, but when I walk into a room I'm so convinced I'm good-looking that I *will* go home with your girlfriend. " Gene Simmons


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#1

onmyway

Member

Join Date: 02/04/2010 | Posts: 86

 Yeah I have the exact same thing but I figured it was just out of a scarcity mindset and trying to please the girl all the time and always being afraid of losing her, which is how I used to be. Chodely attitudes = stress. Haven't been in a relationship since then so I don't know but if you're experiencing it now it could be something else.
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#2
Shit.

Shit.

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Join Date: 01/12/2008 | Posts: 1780

Just stop being stressed by things.
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#3
ambiguity

ambiguity

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Join Date: 10/28/2009 | Posts: 5327

Playdate mate, define your relationship? Define "dating?" This is a cloudy foggy situation. You must clarify for me what we are dealing with here. I can elaborate better once you do this for me.

The second you are in a relationship, you are on the line if that ship sinks.

One of my mates, my wing, the one & only I met was from TAF. A solid fellow. He winged quite a few times. Had a blast. He has some serious good game as well as personal one on one time with instructors. He has seen my natural game in action & I have seen his stuff from guys in the community only to find myself even more intrigued. He noticed that, the sec a girl came into my life, a girl that I sort of had some sort of interest, I got bugged out.

Mate, you are not the only one. Sadly, it is unconscious usually unless you recognize it.

My mate gave me some of the best advise to live by. Basically, he pointed out that, there are so many girls. Nights where we just chill out or hit a pub, hotties open me. I get AIs like crazy. WTF does this one girl have that the others don't? He went on further & ended up saying to aim for abundance. Enjoy the experience. If you like a girl, don't play games with her or be a douche bag. Keep it real. At the same time, hold true to your true nature. In the end, it is just another life experience.

I stopped caring man. Basically, I am emotionally unattached. I struggle in expressing my emotions and at times, when they come to the surface, I am so blind to them that, I can come off incongruent. Part of this is that, I want to crush vagina like crazy. Any girl that is hot, I want to pull. Ironically enough, there is another part of me deep down somewhere that wants something more. There is a desire to procreate beyond the means of pleasure. I want a little ambiguity running around, halling ass, putting SMOKE SHOWS on SMASH MODE 7days a week. I am not in this game for life. My goals & my nature like everyone else is prone to change. I know this wont last forever. Nothing does. I will enjoy it till the bitter end.

Women come in and out of your life. You can't take it personal or be bitter about it when they jump for the next guy. It is what it is. No point in resisting it. It will only bring you more pain, resentment, wasted time, years even, and unhappiness.

Every experience with girls is just another lesson to learn from. Don't interprete the experience. Just learn from what happens.

Part of my wing's concern was that, he picked up & came out from his natural habitat to crush vagina with me. He stepped it up & I think he worried I was cashing out too soon on him.

This was not the case. single or not, I hit the clubs. I put in work. I chat up people. I meet new girls. I make new friends. The girl can hate it or love it. If I am single, I am going to pull. This isn't up for debate. The reality is that, she will do the same as well. Heads up.

The second you feel resentment or you feel her take a step back, move away. Chill with your boys. Hit the clubs single or in a committed relationship. Condition yourself. I don't care how hot a girl is. It is just ass. It is all one & the same. the things you say that make her different from others is just an infatuation with a thought as well as craving. It could workout with any girl but, we got these premeditated ideas, ideologies, thoughts, expectations, cravings, desires, & when they are not meant, when our little bubble pops, we run. We flee to the next craving.

Challenge yourself. Always be challenging yourself. Find a girl that challenges you positively for the better. Be true to your gf. Don't be a in a relationship who cheats. Don't have that security blanket you rest in of a relationship while you try to hall ass on the side. I have no gf & I go to pull every time. Yes, I got girls on the side but, they know their role. I don't leave women hanging or expecting more. I keep it real. If it is just sex, I hall ass & she knows what is up. A pick up artist isn't a bullshit artist. You can wow girls & keep it real.


Don't sweat the small things man. Know, she isn't likely the last girl you will wheel. If she is, then great. Learn from the experience. The sec you see a red flag, address it if she is crossing the line. If you know there is an iceberg ahead, abandon ship. Its only the tip of the iceberg. You never know how deep you can get in and if kids are involved, man oh man, you are in trouble. Watch yourself.

Remember the abundance factor. Do not chase. Replace. Cut her if she gets out of line. For me, cheating, lying, dishonesty of any sort is unacceptable. Ironically enough, all the three fall practically in the same category. If I do not trust her, if she gives the slightest reason for me to question her, she is gone.
PlayDate wrote:
I haven't dated for two years, after finding RSD.  Was doing the single life and loving it.

Found a killer girl, have been dating for two months.

But I seem way more stressed out now then when I was single.
Is this a common dating theme?
When I dated way back when, I was such a different person I can't even use that as refrence.

Only thing I can assume is I loved the 100% do what ever the fuck I want freedom, which is now gone.

Or deep down I am still a when it comes to any form of attachment.

cheers


__________________
Jlaix: You are rather cheeky I admit but the self amusing authentic avi makes it impossible to hate!
Tyler:This is ultimately one of the keys to the game -- viewing EVERYTHING AS A JOKE. It's ALL funny.
Tim:`How can I make this fun?
brad:This thread got Ambiguity banned, you can thank me later. Zack G: Ambiguity is becoming the Howard Roark of RSD!
Alex: "The famous ambiguity!" + "This is what happens when your naturally attractive; cheekyinnit#! Ambiguity: I don't chase, I replace.


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#4
Dulak

Dulak

Trusted Member

Join Date: 09/23/2008 | Posts: 1312

PlayDate wrote:
I haven't dated for two years, after finding RSD.  Was doing the single life and loving it.

Found a killer girl, have been dating for two months.

But I seem way more stressed out now then when I was single.
Is this a common dating theme?
When I dated way back when, I was such a different person I can't even use that as refrence.

Only thing I can assume is I loved the 100% do what ever the fuck I want freedom, which is now gone.

Or deep down I am still a when it comes to any form of attachment.

cheers


check out ambiguity's post; some good info there ... also

perhaps journaling will help; I often journal and this helps me to undertand things and to see things more clearly.  I call it psycholanalyzing through writing.  Ask yourself the question why are you stressed while in this relationship and then keep digging.

Im not sure why you are stressed? ... maybe not right girl for you?
something just popped into my mind - you value something more then you do your coreself.  Either the girl and her reactions or something ... if you value this more then you do yourself then when things are not going 'your way' exactly then you will more then likely feel stressed.
ayn rand says 'I do not fear because I act' - sounds like you are not acting ... what action does that need to be? you will find out ...

here is a personal example - atm I am jobless; when I think about all the implications of this I feel stressed; because I am valuing the different aspects of this and the worlds projection on me as greater then I do myself.  But once I remove this bs from my mind and act accordingly to my core values then I am not stressed and I am at peace. 

be at peace and know that you are that
__________________
My Creed-There are only 2 choices:To live or to die
The meaning of life-'Tom' Being the hero in your own life story.
Circumstances do not make a man; they reveal him
I came here to say I am a man that does not exist for others - AR
Fuck frame controlling the set...Frame control the World
Everything is unknown...ENJOY diving in it to watch it unfold~DL
There is no rejection - There is only expression: you to the world and the world back
Freedom is not just a dream...its there on the other side of those fences we build all by ourselves
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#5
PlayDate

PlayDate

Respected Member

Join Date: 02/01/2009 | Posts: 450

SEE BOLD
ambiguity wrote:
Playdate mate, define your relationship? Define "dating?" This is a cloudy foggy situation. You must clarify for me what we are dealing with here. I can elaborate better once you do this for me.

-First always stoked for your input, but by dating I mean like haven't been with other girls ( IE we are in a committed realtionship atm ), my GF sleeps over 4-5 nights a week shit like that. We don't always go out to the bars/ clubs together but my town is tiny and we always run into each other.


. He noticed that, the sec a girl came into my life, a girl that I sort of had some sort of interest, I got bugged out.

Mate, you are not the only one. Sadly, it is unconscious usually unless you recognize it.

- For sure man, it didn't bug me out at first, but now that we are getting closer I am like...........uhhhhh wtf why am I triping.

My mate gave me some of the best advise to live by. Basically, he pointed out that, there are so many girls. Nights where we just chill out or hit a pub, hotties open me. I get AIs like crazy. WTF does this one girl have that the others don't? He went on further & ended up saying to aim for abundance. Enjoy the experience. If you like a girl, don't play games with her or be a douche bag. Keep it real. At the same time, hold true to your true nature. In the end, it is just another life experience.

- Soild advice for sure. I don't play games or do douchey shit, not my cup of tea. Its hard to hold true to my full nature with a GF ive noticed though.

I stopped caring man. Basically, I am emotionally unattached. I struggle in expressing my emotions and at times, when they come to the surface, I am so blind to them that, I can come off incongruent. Part of this is that, I want to crush vagina like crazy. Any girl that is hot, I want to pull. Ironically enough, there is another part of me deep down somewhere that wants something more. 

-This is my problem, I am emotionally unattached somedays.and others I am uber caring and emotional. Its hard to be these two different people, deep down I do want something more, which I do think id get with this girl. Its just the other part of me wants to go out and beast mode WITHOUT RESTRAINT. 



This was not the case. single or not, I hit the clubs. I put in work. I chat up people. I meet new girls. I make new friends. The girl can hate it or love it. If I am single, I am going to pull. This isn't up for debate. The reality is that, she will do the same as well. Heads up.

- Def try to do this, but in a small ass town man theres not many bars, so we always end up together by default. I do chat up girls and what not, but fuck I don't see my self walking around approching with my GF in the same place? that seems fucked.



Challenge yourself. Always be challenging yourself. Find a girl that challenges you positively for the better. Be true to your gf. Don't be a in a relationship who cheats. Don't have that security blanket you rest in of a relationship while you try to hall ass on the side. I have no gf & I go to pull every time. Yes, I got girls on the side but, they know their role. I don't leave women hanging or expecting more. I keep it real. If it is just sex, I hall ass & she knows what is up. A pick up artist isn't a bullshit artist. You can wow girls & keep it real.

- Fuck yea at least someone sees what I see, at this point I wouldn't want to cheat on her. Id only want to if something was lacking, which its not ATM. Its just fucking sex.

Don't sweat the small things man. Know, she isn't likely the last girl you will wheel. If she is, then great. Learn from the experience. The sec you see a red flag, address it if she is crossing the line. If you know there is an iceberg ahead, abandon ship. Its only the tip of the iceberg. You never know how deep you can get in and if kids are involved, man oh man, you are in trouble. Watch yourself.

-Most def man, see my issue is the fact in 8 months I am moving far far away to a big city, I don't ...I am posotive she won't follow, and I wouldn't want her to after such a small amount of time. For sure. I have my path, my quest, my goals, and WON"T have time to date, really won't want to deal with the shit involved in it. So for me I am like FUCK everyday I get closer to the chick, and I'll leave neway, why I am wasting my time? Then again, its a fucking journey right, take it a day at a time.

Remember the abundance factor. Do not chase. Replace. Cut her if she gets out of line. For me, cheating, lying, dishonesty of any sort is unacceptable. Ironically enough, all the three fall practically in the same category. If I do not trust her, if she gives the slightest reason for me to question her, she is gone.

If this girl did ANYTHING SKETCH of course my ass would be gone in a minute, and the porblem is I would almost feel a sense of relief....which is odd. Either way, coming back to RSD just makes me want to go back to rolling solo and owning shit, I tend to stay away now

Cheers 
PlayDate wrote:



__________________
"At the end of your life what have you've got except memories? That's it. And then poof. You know, we're all just passing through. You really do have to be selfish. You really can't love anybody else unless you're Goddamn in love with yourself. Be delusional. Be really delusional. Consciously, I know I'm not the best looking guy in the world, but when I walk into a room I'm so convinced I'm good-looking that I *will* go home with your girlfriend. " Gene Simmons


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#6
PlayDate

PlayDate

Respected Member

Join Date: 02/01/2009 | Posts: 450

Dulak wrote:
PlayDate wrote:






Im not sure why you are stressed? ... maybe not right girl for you?
something just popped into my mind - you value something more then you do your coreself.  Either the girl and her reactions or something ... if you value this more then you do yourself then when things are not going 'your way' exactly then you will more then likely feel stressed.
ayn rand says 'I do not fear because I act' - sounds like you are not acting ... what action does that need to be? you will find out ...

here is a personal example - atm I am jobless; when I think about all the implications of this I feel stressed; because I am valuing the different aspects of this and the worlds projection on me as greater then I do myself.  But once I remove this bs from my mind and act accordingly to my core values then I am not stressed and I am at peace. 

be at peace and know that you are that


Point on and this is most likely the case, the girl having too much value over my core. Which I thought was epicly strong ( I produce music, its my life, goal dreams, along with a bunch of other core things I love).

Your most likely right somedays my core is stronger then her, somedays its not.......I tend to feel the BEST on days when my core has MUCH more value then her. This is intresting.

Need to re read fountain head ehhh.

soild advice, for sure.
__________________
"At the end of your life what have you've got except memories? That's it. And then poof. You know, we're all just passing through. You really do have to be selfish. You really can't love anybody else unless you're Goddamn in love with yourself. Be delusional. Be really delusional. Consciously, I know I'm not the best looking guy in the world, but when I walk into a room I'm so convinced I'm good-looking that I *will* go home with your girlfriend. " Gene Simmons


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#7
Dark Chocolate

Dark Chocolate

Junior Member

Join Date: 09/09/2010 | Posts: 18

You can still do whatever you want, being in a relationship doesn't stop that. Except for fucking other women of course.
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#8
PlayDate

PlayDate

Respected Member

Join Date: 02/01/2009 | Posts: 450

Dark Chocolate wrote:
You can still do whatever you want, being in a relationship doesn't stop that. Except for fucking other women of course.
Indeed but I still feel some sort of void that I didn't feel before, a lack of something when there was none before. Mehs
__________________
"At the end of your life what have you've got except memories? That's it. And then poof. You know, we're all just passing through. You really do have to be selfish. You really can't love anybody else unless you're Goddamn in love with yourself. Be delusional. Be really delusional. Consciously, I know I'm not the best looking guy in the world, but when I walk into a room I'm so convinced I'm good-looking that I *will* go home with your girlfriend. " Gene Simmons


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#9

sucker4love

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Join Date: 04/12/2010 | Posts: 1374

I feel the same way man. Before this pua thing I was a super chode. I'd wanna take all the Value from girls and my needy attitude didn't allow me to give value. Now Im all about fun and pretty good at baggin girls but when the occasional girl comes along that I see might be gf material I go right back into chode stressful mindset mode. So basically jus relax and let the chips fall where they may and if u wanna be with her do it. U have to know your intentions so only you can really answer this question. Cliche I know...but it's true.
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"First you have to give up, first you have to *know*... not fear... *know*... that someday you're gonna die."- Tyler Durden(Fight Club)

Hit me up by PM if you want to game in NYC. Don't care about your skill level just need the balls to approach and have a good time. Always looking for new people to game with.
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