THE FORUMS

March 24th, 2017
I am scared of success...
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#11
Igi

Igi

Member

Join Date: 08/06/2010 | Posts: 52

I failed to quote properly lol
   (I never understood this fear of success thing people talk about ... maybe you should get the shit kicked out of you (financially, physically, emotionally, everywhich way ...)
then maybe you wont fear something good ...)
 - Dulak

 I can relate to that. That's more like a reality statement for me, if you can't appreciate what you have and push it further eventually you end up rock bottom. It is then you either cut your wrist or make a major realization and won't ever take things for granted again.
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No.
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#12

ibanez237

Member

Join Date: 11/18/2009 | Posts: 84

You're scared of success because you've grown comfortable being a chode, and when shit goes right and you actually start to become the man you've wanted to be, you have a kneejerk reaction and go back to chode-land because you're out of your comfort zone.
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#13
cag6117

cag6117

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/26/2009 | Posts: 144

RBSG wrote:
For you, i would recommend focusing on killing your outcome attachment. there is no success or failure if you dont even have a goal. go out and talk to people. not for what it will get you, but because you want to, you'll reprogram your mind to just be cool with it. talk to PEOPLE, not just girls. do you believe that you aren't a social person? if you know you ARE a social person. you can do this simple thing. beyond that, who cares what happens next?

have you done the whole "routines" thing yet?
Yeah that i am aiming to do- so true.
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#14
RuleNo1isFun

RuleNo1isFun

Respected Member

Join Date: 03/24/2008 | Posts: 455

I love Jaffar. Glad you're back man.
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“Real niggas do what they wanna do, niggas do what they can.”
-Tupac Shakur-

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#15

hobo.lord

Senior Member

Join Date: 04/03/2010 | Posts: 104

RBSG wrote:
For you, i would recommend focusing on killing your outcome attachment. there is no success or failure if you dont even have a goal. go out and talk to people. not for what it will get you, but because you want to, you'll reprogram your mind to just be cool with it. talk to PEOPLE, not just girls. do you believe that you aren't a social person? if you know you ARE a social person. you can do this simple thing. beyond that, who cares what happens next?

have you done the whole "routines" thing yet?
The thing is when I kill outcome attatchment, I stop caring and don't put in effort, and thus, I guess, I do the best when I really want something but have no outcome attatchement, but how do you get that. I guess I'll repost when I figure it out, but I honestly would NOT like it if bad thigns happened to me, like if members of my family died or if my dreams got crushed. How do I remove outcome attatchment from that? I guess its constant acceptance of what is and going towards what you want?

And to the guy who was like "man up" dude I hate that word so much, it reeks of stupidity and ignorance (you don't need seatbelts, just man up bro!), but yeah I get your point, I'm going to replace manning up with acting with courage. I saw some of deida's deep inner game that when faced w/ fear you can either take action (by giving and going into avoidance mode), facing it masochinistically (not manning up), or facing it courageously and giving it your 100% and not just sliding through, this will lesser the fear. But the thing is when I walk through my day, whenever I am scared of something the LAST thing I do is like "oh shi I need to face this", no I'm like "oh I put on a bad mindset, time to change mindsets" and then continue on. I guess its just to avoid fear, but in my experience, doing something socially when scared is a garunteed fail. And it just feels weird acting courageously b/c these types of things shouldn't scare me in the first place, I have this (maybe limiting) belief that people can tell when you are acting courageously and thus they will know that thing bugged you THAT much that you needed to be courageous.
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#16
FreezeTime

FreezeTime

Senior Member

Join Date: 05/16/2009 | Posts: 196

it absolutely is, must have the desire.  that's why i dont put anywhere near the emphasis on the word chode that this community does.  there's a great of misunderstanding out there by naturals and guys who are successful of other guys.  a ton of other guys are just simply not all that interested in gaming as others.  theyre just not.
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#17
Daniel

Daniel

Trusted Member

Join Date: 10/10/2008 | Posts: 1943

You're scared of something you have not yet experienced?

When people say this it doesn't make sense at all.

What's scary about vagina
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#18
Change

Change

Respected Member

Join Date: 06/11/2007 | Posts: 679

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. - Marianne Williamson

(replace god with diety of your choice.)
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Be a man of value and success will follow. - Albert Einstein
Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn - Alexander~
Strength finds strength. Weakness finds weakness. There's only one thing that you can do to sort this out. Become strong. - Ciaran
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#19
Lovebelow

Lovebelow

Senior Member

Join Date: 06/01/2010 | Posts: 294

Change wrote:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. - Marianne Williamson

(replace god with diety of your choice.)
you made me think of this video i recently saw.

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#20
Getupa

Getupa

Respected Member

Join Date: 12/21/2008 | Posts: 830

hobo.lord wrote:
I think this is by far my biggest sticking point, I see my potential and run in sheer terror and do a lot of self sabotage. Did anyone here get over this? Its like I don't know if I can keep up "this new self" if I go all out, because its so new and I will eventually regress... I don't know, major mind f3ck. I guess deep inside, I still like chodeyness, its safe... 
from psychological standpoint, if you had success this would be the equivalent of you taking your mother from your father. The "incest" brings fear of castration... so you "choose" not to.
You keep being sad but you still have your dick...
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