THE FORUMS
Look dude, I'm no one to judge, I've done it many times in the past. Done lots of things I'm not proud of, etc..
And I also tried really hard to rationalize my action's justifications. I tried to numb any guilt emotions, take that Tolle thing too seriously (even though that IS NOT the purpose of Tolle at all). All for a very personal avoidance of pain or guilt or whatever negativity.
The fact that I hurt those girls was enough to see cheating is selfish, not to mention insecure (unknown insecurities that had to be worked on). Sure, lust after everybody, but this whole "we're little forest animals who have no control over our dicks" is a pretty lame excuse, again be a man about leaving the safety blanky free and doing some serious hunting WITHOUT HURTING ANYONE.
An amassed number of people doing it doesn't make it right to hurt people either. A mob dude killing ur mother just cuz mob people do it, is what u r illustrating. And u r seriously not using a sci fi movie to justify ure hurting someone..
U've got levels of lying dude. Sure, I'll tell her sometimes her mother's not crazy, but def not promise exclusivity and break it.
Every person deserves to know what they're getting themselves into/who they're getting involved with.
And LOL to identifying with your GF thought.
Lie, cheat, manipulate. U either add to the problem or the solution.
It's ok dude. U cheat, others steal, others kill, unfortunately that IS life.
However u wanna look at it, it ain't right. Ure hurting someone. Dunno ur girl's age, but for girls to date or being in relationships is not just to have fun or have a sugar daddy only, or just sex all the time; the may also from time to time (lol) look for a life partner, and fucking with their time or bio-clock or whatever isn't cool either. As relative as ur situation may be.
Have fun, just don't do it at anyone's expense. And again, don't make assumptions that people won't go for open relationships, I have been in a few and I know a married couple who are polyamorous.
Let the girls decide who they wanna be with and their level of involvement.
Saying u r a loyal person is tricking a girl into being with u, a person who doesn't exist. Impression. Hence insecure. That's it.
We all try to figure out things the best we can, I say this from experience which is what this forum is about, sharing experience to grow faster and better. And to become amazing men.
Let her know or let her go. But it's a 2 person's decision. An informed decision.
And enjoy ur singledom. Ure obviously a PIMP!!
And I also tried really hard to rationalize my action's justifications. I tried to numb any guilt emotions, take that Tolle thing too seriously (even though that IS NOT the purpose of Tolle at all). All for a very personal avoidance of pain or guilt or whatever negativity.
The fact that I hurt those girls was enough to see cheating is selfish, not to mention insecure (unknown insecurities that had to be worked on). Sure, lust after everybody, but this whole "we're little forest animals who have no control over our dicks" is a pretty lame excuse, again be a man about leaving the safety blanky free and doing some serious hunting WITHOUT HURTING ANYONE.
An amassed number of people doing it doesn't make it right to hurt people either. A mob dude killing ur mother just cuz mob people do it, is what u r illustrating. And u r seriously not using a sci fi movie to justify ure hurting someone..
U've got levels of lying dude. Sure, I'll tell her sometimes her mother's not crazy, but def not promise exclusivity and break it.
Every person deserves to know what they're getting themselves into/who they're getting involved with.
And LOL to identifying with your GF thought.
Lie, cheat, manipulate. U either add to the problem or the solution.
It's ok dude. U cheat, others steal, others kill, unfortunately that IS life.
However u wanna look at it, it ain't right. Ure hurting someone. Dunno ur girl's age, but for girls to date or being in relationships is not just to have fun or have a sugar daddy only, or just sex all the time; the may also from time to time (lol) look for a life partner, and fucking with their time or bio-clock or whatever isn't cool either. As relative as ur situation may be.
Have fun, just don't do it at anyone's expense. And again, don't make assumptions that people won't go for open relationships, I have been in a few and I know a married couple who are polyamorous.
Let the girls decide who they wanna be with and their level of involvement.
Saying u r a loyal person is tricking a girl into being with u, a person who doesn't exist. Impression. Hence insecure. That's it.
We all try to figure out things the best we can, I say this from experience which is what this forum is about, sharing experience to grow faster and better. And to become amazing men.
Let her know or let her go. But it's a 2 person's decision. An informed decision.
And enjoy ur singledom. Ure obviously a PIMP!!
__________________
If you have had a GF and not given a fuck if she fucked other guys, on top of believing that your "friends will cover for you whilst you're gone for 3 hours to bang a 2-set", you're obviously DELUSIONAL.
Why even have a GF in the first place if you know you're going to cheat on her and try to preserve her feelings by lying to her.
Come back once you have some real relationship experience.
Love,
Why even have a GF in the first place if you know you're going to cheat on her and try to preserve her feelings by lying to her.
Come back once you have some real relationship experience.
Love,
__________________
TheAnswer. London. Ozzie Bootcamp Alum July 24-26 2009.
"Let the game be beautiful." -TheAnswer~ 2010.
"Let the game be beautiful." -TheAnswer~ 2010.
Lol.
If it's just about whether you get caught or not and whether it ruins ur relationship, then it's a values thing.
Some people value others, some people don't. Usually we call the first stand up guys, and the latter evil assholes.
No one is going to come down from on high, God or guru, and tell you what is objectively right.
We all are out for ourselves, the difference between decent people and evil people is that the decent people take pleasure in others' pleasure as well as their own, and the evil people only take pleasure in their own, or sometimes other people's pain if they're really fucked up.
It's just how you feel and how you're raised/built. Personally, I wouldn't want to hang around assholes like you, but then, how would I know? I could sense it probably, but u never know.
Cheers,
Jaffar
If it's just about whether you get caught or not and whether it ruins ur relationship, then it's a values thing.
Some people value others, some people don't. Usually we call the first stand up guys, and the latter evil assholes.
No one is going to come down from on high, God or guru, and tell you what is objectively right.
We all are out for ourselves, the difference between decent people and evil people is that the decent people take pleasure in others' pleasure as well as their own, and the evil people only take pleasure in their own, or sometimes other people's pain if they're really fucked up.
It's just how you feel and how you're raised/built. Personally, I wouldn't want to hang around assholes like you, but then, how would I know? I could sense it probably, but u never know.
Cheers,
Jaffar
__________________
Warning: This is f@#$ing Sparta. Don't die a coward.
RSD - Inner Circle: TORONTO Chapter - An RSD Social Club for Toronto and Area locals. Social events, self-development, city to city outings, general mayhem. Check us out at... www.rsdnation.com/toronto.
Some recent RSDTIC events: www.rsdnation.com/node/190215/forum
Warning: This is f@#$ing Sparta. Don't die a coward.
RSD - Inner Circle: TORONTO Chapter - An RSD Social Club for Toronto and Area locals. Social events, self-development, city to city outings, general mayhem. Check us out at... www.rsdnation.com/toronto.
Some recent RSDTIC events: www.rsdnation.com/node/190215/forum
If you have had a GF and not given a fuck if she fucked other guys, on top of believing that your "friends will cover for you whilst you're gone for 3 hours to bang a 2-set", you're obviously DELUSIONAL.
There's a really good point inside this--
OP has a major lack of congruence. Why even both having a "girlfriend" or "Cheating" -- say as opposed to dating or having an open relationship?
I'd wager that it's because there's something "bad" or "taboo" about "cheating"-- yet, you question why it's bad at all. You are not acting in congruence with your beliefs. Ultimately, you are not in your power in this situation. You are taking value from others, rather than living inside your own. If you were in your power, you'd just go fuck girls when you wanted and be okay with it, or have an open relationship with your girlfriend. Why even have the element of deception present if it's not necessary for you to do what you do? Not congruent. Just live your fucking life, don't drag others through the mud of your choices for no reason. You are lying to yourself, and by extension to us and all the women you interact with. Cut the shit. We all see right through it.
--To the original question:
Why is it "bad"? it's not....... per se.
It IS, however, cheating, which is dishonest by definition.
Dishonest (IMO) = taking value.
In my personal opinion, you are not going back far enough. You are not seeing yourself broadly or clearly enough. You are busy justifying rather than being clear.
Here's what I hear hidden as a context for your frame:
"I'm going to take what's mine-- LIfe is about getting what I want, and I will take it at any cost to anyone else as long as it doesn't hurt me"
consider that VS.
"I am powerful and free. LIfe is about being freely and fully expressed. People give me what I wish for freely because I make their lives better. I may be challenging, but I am rewarding, and people are happy to have me in their lives. I get whatever I want easily and freely because I act in accordance with who I say I am."
Think about it: taking something implies lack. It is a statement of powerlessness. Look closely at the differences above-- one has power. the other doesn't. One has congruence, the other doesn't. One is fear driven, the other is bold and open.
Congruence will lead to success, ease, and peace. It creates win/wins. There's no need to outrun anything. There's nothing to hide. There is only strength, authenticity and flow. Giving to others creates more for you over time. It is the way to get an abundance of anything, including sex. Really, it's the name of the game here at RSD-- Giving Value.
Cheating is "bad" (aka doesn't really work for people long term) because:
-you are not honoring your agreements
-it lacks congruence
-it lacks power
-it's a game rather than a powerful self expression
-it takes from others rather than gives
-it will catch up with you eventually.
-it is a statement of disconnection from others. The more disconnected you are, the more unsatisfying and difficult your life will be.
If there's one truth I've learned in pickup, it's that you cannot hide.
so why lie, cheat others, or take without being given to? Eventually, you will be seen for it. And ultimately, create more suffering for yourself and a bunch of other people along the way.
How is that a good thing?
__________________
If you really don't give a fuck then why would you attempt to hide that aspect about yourself? Thing is, I don't have to hide my intentions from any woman. They know what I'm all about. They know that I'm a sleezy motherfucker and that I don't want to settle down like most people. I've had negative reactions from some of them as a way for them to try to "change my mind". Most of these girls eventually accepted my position because I stood by it unapolgetically.
I think what you're experiencing is the madonna/whore complex. You want the aspect of settling down while simultaneously living the lifestyle of a mother fucking pimp, but these two dichotomies don't actually exist. You have to realize that they are all the same. You can still have the qualities of a relationship while seeing other women without having to hide like a little bitch =)
I think what you're experiencing is the madonna/whore complex. You want the aspect of settling down while simultaneously living the lifestyle of a mother fucking pimp, but these two dichotomies don't actually exist. You have to realize that they are all the same. You can still have the qualities of a relationship while seeing other women without having to hide like a little bitch =)
__________________
Lol NOT doing it because its at the expense of others IS against my morals. Then again, there are situations, when the total reverse is true. My best friend puking his guts out and wants to go home immediately. I told him to shut up and wait while we partied some more.
I guess I'm just a guy who cheats. It may, and probably will, bite me in the ass one day, and that might spur me to change. So far, it hasn't. Here's I question I do need some insight on... I hate telling people about my qualities. "I'm a fun guy thats confident and social" <-- sounds bragadocious and chodey. Isn't telling people "I am an insensitive asshole that does what he wants and cheats" along the same lines of just tooting my own horn? Personally I think it sounds like a chode TRYING to be attractive because he heard girls like assholes.
I kind of have a style like Jeffy's, except I also have a really friendly nice side to me. I am a person of both extremes.
My congruency is off. I wouldn't of brought this subject up on an RSD forum, if I didn't know I wasn't where I should be on this. I'm justifying an arguement because I like to explore all angles. I don't take advice because its given. I debate, and through that, brings about discussion. Really I just think it comes down to not being on terms with being a person of bad qualities. I think my epiphany here is not the debate on cheating, but being congruent with being a bad person. I try to justify it with having more good qualities than bad.
I guess I'm just a guy who cheats. It may, and probably will, bite me in the ass one day, and that might spur me to change. So far, it hasn't. Here's I question I do need some insight on... I hate telling people about my qualities. "I'm a fun guy thats confident and social" <-- sounds bragadocious and chodey. Isn't telling people "I am an insensitive asshole that does what he wants and cheats" along the same lines of just tooting my own horn? Personally I think it sounds like a chode TRYING to be attractive because he heard girls like assholes.
I kind of have a style like Jeffy's, except I also have a really friendly nice side to me. I am a person of both extremes.
My congruency is off. I wouldn't of brought this subject up on an RSD forum, if I didn't know I wasn't where I should be on this. I'm justifying an arguement because I like to explore all angles. I don't take advice because its given. I debate, and through that, brings about discussion. Really I just think it comes down to not being on terms with being a person of bad qualities. I think my epiphany here is not the debate on cheating, but being congruent with being a bad person. I try to justify it with having more good qualities than bad.
__________________
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Quintessence of RSD -- http://www.rsdnation.com/node/176208/forum
Internet Marketing forums - www.wickedfire.com
My favorite radio station -- http://www.iheart.com/#/live/4828/
High value marketing coaching - www.ppc-coach.com
My favorite books - The Millionaire Fastlane // Four Hour Work Week // 7 Habits of Highly Effective People // Think and Grow Rich // Power of Now // Sex God Method
Bullshit. You just don't know yourself at your core yet.
If you are an asshole, then don't worry about how it lands with others and be an asshole. After all, that's what an asshole does.
Again, everything you say oozes a lack of congruency. But you wouldn't admit this, since your WHOLE identity is based on it.
It's your blind spot, and everyone can see it but you. Ego will defend itself to the death.
Debating without considering the other side (as advice, which it really seems like you asked for)-- is mental masturbation. Why stimulate discussion, and ask other people's opinions if you don't authentically want an answer? You certainly are asking about yourself-- you're not impartially contributing to a discussion about cheating. You are taking-- our attention-- and then, when you don't like the reply because it doesn't gel with your (conflicted) ego, you refute it.
~consider that morals and integrity are 2 different things~
you have no integrity. It's obvious.
If you are an asshole, then don't worry about how it lands with others and be an asshole. After all, that's what an asshole does.
Again, everything you say oozes a lack of congruency. But you wouldn't admit this, since your WHOLE identity is based on it.
It's your blind spot, and everyone can see it but you. Ego will defend itself to the death.
Debating without considering the other side (as advice, which it really seems like you asked for)-- is mental masturbation. Why stimulate discussion, and ask other people's opinions if you don't authentically want an answer? You certainly are asking about yourself-- you're not impartially contributing to a discussion about cheating. You are taking-- our attention-- and then, when you don't like the reply because it doesn't gel with your (conflicted) ego, you refute it.
~consider that morals and integrity are 2 different things~
you have no integrity. It's obvious.
__________________
I'll bet you need a lot of validation.
__________________
Potential to cause emotional pain to someone you care about. Most people would define that as "bad" however, we are free to believe whatever we want. Or you might not care about your gf either.
__________________
Jeffy Bootcamp Alumnus Oct 30-Nov 1, 2009
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/138865
Life changing self-esteem article by Tyler
http://www.rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=12471
Excellent post about practice and consistency by Ozzie. Really hits home.
http://www.rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=13223
Field report thread.
http://rsdnation.com/node/127554
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/138865
Life changing self-esteem article by Tyler
http://www.rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=12471
Excellent post about practice and consistency by Ozzie. Really hits home.
http://www.rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=13223
Field report thread.
http://rsdnation.com/node/127554
jlaix
Instructor | Trusted Member
Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 7519
ok man
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