THE FORUMS

December 11th, 2016
MovingForward's Journey From Chode Land to Awesome Land™
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MovingForward

MovingForward

Respected Member

Join Date: 07/12/2010 | Posts: 308

Hey guys,

Decided to post up my nights out, maybe they'll help someone.

Some background:

-Found the community about 10 years ago, while was still in high school. Read, seen, heard it all. Chose RSD, because always wanted to be "natural" and at ease in my own skin, rather than rely on tactics.

-Banged around 10+ women, few one night stands, many "close calls" and countless makeouts in those 10 years.

-Had periods where I was going out intensely, like every day of the week, but those lasted very briefly.

-Had few girlfriends during this period, which was also part of the reason for not going out very much (another part was plain old laziness and not wanting to get out of the comfort zone)

-Recently broke up with my last girlfriend, decided to get this shit handled. I want to be able to go into any club and pull consistenly 9's and 10's. That's my ultimate goal.

-Currently going out about 3 days a week

-Planning to take a bootcamp soon
__________________
High self-esteem (and resulting beliefs and vocal projection from that)  = the single MOST important piece of the game, from which everything else stems. Draw the good feelings from within, feel brave enough to experience happiness and awesomeness about yourself on an ongoing and consistent basis, feel truely ENTITLED to 10's, make yourself validated internally (approval or rejection by other people does not alter your awesomness), bring the party and be loud as fuck (borderline obnoxious vocal projection at clubs). It is your birthright to feel entitled to and to expect all the best life has to offer. It doesn't matter what everyone else thinks about you. http://www.rsdnation.com/node/186628/forum Ryan Bootcamp, Nov 19-21, 2010, Washington DC
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#1
MovingForward

MovingForward

Respected Member

Join Date: 07/12/2010 | Posts: 308

Hey guys,

Tuesday, Jul 20

Had somewhat tough day, came home and crashed into sleep for 3 hours straight, woke up at 8:30, didn't want to do SHIT. Forced myself to go to the gym, then came back feeling totally exhausted and tired. Just wanted to say fuck it all and stay home this night, especially since it's Tuesday.

Forced myself basically to go out, dragging my feet, feeling lame, stupid, etc.

Got to the spot, wait in the car for about 10 minutes to just re-center a bit. The goal was to approach 5 sets today and then call it a night. Usually I just work the whole venue until good sets exhaust themselves, but decided that I'm going to do at least 5.

See 2 girls outside, hotties, approach. Open, ask them how the venue is like, they say it's ok, blowout almost immideately.

Next, go into the venue, approach a girl with a guy, she basically ingores me. I plow by puking words. Finally she aknoledges me briefly, then ignored completely again. Next.

See hot set of 3 girls in the very corner surrounded by mounds of chodes. Decide I'll save that for later.

Approach couple of more sets, all blowouts on open. Approach guy and a girl, guy starts telling me to go away immideately, try to befriend him with a high-five, the girl is being weirded out, puke some more words, the guy gets more and more hostile. Next.

Approach 3 set of ugly girls just to keep the momentum going. Blowout basically after about 30 secs.

At this point I'm thinking got my 5 sets in, can go home now, everything I do now is just a bonus.

Approach 2girls+1guy, this one actually hooks pretty hard. Befriend the guy, talk to girls, not doing kino, because not sure if the guy is boyfriend of one of them. Keep talking, but the vibe dies down for some reason, the girls become cold and eventually freeze me out. Next.

Approach 3 girls+1 guy, blowout on open. "Brutal stuff" thinking to myself.

Basically circled the club at this point, doing round 2, approach 2 girls, one is wearing some strange dress, make fun of it for it looking like a pajama. Hook. She's immideately attracted, initiates kino. I keep vomiting words, claw, "you can be my new girlfriend". Going good, try to befriend the friends. Keep talking, the vibe is dying down for some reason, I see she's going to bail soon, go for # close, get it, but pretty sure it's fake (she said one name first, then immidetealy said another name). Next.

Approach some girl looking lost, I'm in state, yell "wassup you look lost", no hook, some chode comes in and takes her away. Next.

I saw earlier couple of hotties walk in, decide to find them, can't find them. Approach 2 girls, open with "hey what are you drinking", blow out immideately. Next.

Going out of the venue, thinking I'm done. As I'm walking out I see 4 girls, average looking. "One more set". Go in, blow it open, IOI's, girls take picture, flying steady. Blah blah blah with one girl, claw, you can "be my new girlfriend", her friend puts her arm around her too and says they are girlfriends, I try to hug them both saying "we can do it 3 of us together", immideately some UG of DOOM pulls the girl I'm targeting by the arm and DRAGS her into the bathroom. Should've paid attention to the UG. Next.

Approach 2 girls, say hello, one chokes immideately (prolly saw me gaming the average girls) another laughs and walks to her chode friends. I'm thinking "brutal...".

As I'm about to walk out... these 2 heavenly creatures - hotties 9 on 10 scale in short skirts are sitting, immideately I'm in. HOOK HARD. Lots of IOI's, vibe's great, I'm really liking one of them. Get close to her, put my arm around her, "you can be my new girlfriend" stuff, she tells me she's got a BF. We talk some more, the vibe is absolutely great with this girl, but eventually dies down.

I didn't know what to do, I can't escalate, cuz she's got a b/f... I don't wanna bail. There are dudes approaching me, her chode friends, trying to tool on me. I'm hanging in there, the vibe is now average at best, but I keep talking and she's being very very very nice to me for some reason. I'm not sure what to do at this point. I really like this girl, but this whole BF thing is just a huge cockblock.

I'm lost and can't keep the awesomeness going, so I decide to # close her, telling her maybe she can hook me up with her hot friends. She did give the number, but I'm pretty sure it's fake and if it's not, pretty sure she won't even return the txtmessage.

As I was leaving I told bye to her friends and she started dancing with the chode and all cutely said "byeee" to me and waived her hand with a smile of an angel... ahhh....

SO adorable.

I was walking to my car in a complete state. YEAH. I'm the FUCKING MAN! This is why I'm doing all this PU stuff... THIS IS THE REWARD. Obviously it's all rough around the edges yet, but I saw the glimplse of what eventually will be possible and this makes me super excited... great motivation.

The greatest set happened to be the very end of the night, when I was actually leaving. Just about 45 minutes before that I was agonizing about going to a club and facing all that rejection. And suddenly I was feeling on top of the world.

This is definitely give me more inspiration to keep going out and pushing myself. The amount of humiliation and rejection you get is truely phenominal, but the end result is so worth it.
__________________
High self-esteem (and resulting beliefs and vocal projection from that)  = the single MOST important piece of the game, from which everything else stems. Draw the good feelings from within, feel brave enough to experience happiness and awesomeness about yourself on an ongoing and consistent basis, feel truely ENTITLED to 10's, make yourself validated internally (approval or rejection by other people does not alter your awesomness), bring the party and be loud as fuck (borderline obnoxious vocal projection at clubs). It is your birthright to feel entitled to and to expect all the best life has to offer. It doesn't matter what everyone else thinks about you. http://www.rsdnation.com/node/186628/forum Ryan Bootcamp, Nov 19-21, 2010, Washington DC
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#2
MovingForward

MovingForward

Respected Member

Join Date: 07/12/2010 | Posts: 308

Wednesday, Thursday

Stayed home, busy workweek

Friday, 24 Jul

Came home from work, very tired. Absolutely didn't want to go out, felt like shit, "the usual" stuff basically. Forced myself again to go out.

1st set was while standing in line. Actually went surprisingly well, talked more to 1 girl out of 3, she was giving IOI's, she initiated touch. I didn't want to start touching her there, it felt weird. First set, outside in line, her friends there, etc... hmm... maybe lame, but I couldn't bring myself to initate kino. Talked for about 20 minutes while in line, as soon as I hit the club I walked away.

I don't exactly remember who I approached and how it went, all I can say is that it was monumentally shitty night. No state, all in my head. Got to the point where I went to the very end of the patio and just stood there watching traffic. Laaaame. After that I left the club feeling defeated. Anxiety was rampant as always, basically just not a good night.

Saturday, 25 Jul

Today, surprisingly enough, I was actually looking forward to go out. Get there at about 12, again anxiety while approaching the club. Get in line, open a set. They are unreactive, I plow. Basically just keep saying random stuff, finally it's hooked. But the girls turn out to be kind of a bit weird, she asks me where I'm from, I ask her to guess, she doesn't want to and turns around. Attempts to re-hook are essentially a failure.

Get into the venue, approach 4 set, engage girls with some random stuff like "yeaah we're here to party yaaay", and "yeah I like vodka, taking shoooots" (even though I'm going totally sober). First set, goes lame, I eject.

Walking through the crowds, back into my head.... again feeling worthless, pathetic... "why am I doing this stuff"... don't have the desire to approach, bored as hell. Go to the dancefloor, stand for about 3 minutes. Feeling completely LAAAAME, want to go home. Decide to do 5 sets and be done with this shit.

Go to the patio (music isn't loud there), pop open few sets, all go lame, I don't even remember what happened and who I approached. Basically it was blowout after blowout after blowout, until I finally say to myself "fuck it, just go get blown out on purpose, at least have fun this way". Amazingly eonugh this actually resulted in sets hooking pretty hard. Approached 3 girls with some lame opener something like "I need new friends" being all serious. Talked with them for a bit, but it didn't really go anywhere.

Approach 2 girls wearing what appears to be the same dress, say something lame on the approach, tryign to get blown out on purpose, but it's not happening. It hooks HARD. The vibe is great, some kino. Then something happens and she decides to walk off with her friend. Fuck.

I'm in state. Approach 3 girls, saying something like "yoyoyoyo yeah I'm just interjecting here into your conversation". One girls says something in some asian language, basically it hooks briefly, then blown out. I think maybe I'm being a bit over the top I'm not sure.

Going to the dancefloor, meet some chick from one of the nights before, blah blah, try to # close, no go. Approach other girls by making pig noises. They acually all hook immideately, I also say some stupid shit just to get blown out and I do in a few minutes in all sets.

At this point I'm totally exhausted and just head home.

Recap:

I notice I can hook breifly, using any opener I want, even lame ones. For me it's seems problematic to maintain past the hook point. They just lose interest, not sure what the deal is.
__________________
High self-esteem (and resulting beliefs and vocal projection from that)  = the single MOST important piece of the game, from which everything else stems. Draw the good feelings from within, feel brave enough to experience happiness and awesomeness about yourself on an ongoing and consistent basis, feel truely ENTITLED to 10's, make yourself validated internally (approval or rejection by other people does not alter your awesomness), bring the party and be loud as fuck (borderline obnoxious vocal projection at clubs). It is your birthright to feel entitled to and to expect all the best life has to offer. It doesn't matter what everyone else thinks about you. http://www.rsdnation.com/node/186628/forum Ryan Bootcamp, Nov 19-21, 2010, Washington DC
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#3
MovingForward

MovingForward

Respected Member

Join Date: 07/12/2010 | Posts: 308

Wasn't going out for a few days because I was sick.

Thursday, Jul 29

Today decided to get back out there. I'm not sure what's going on, but it was monumentally difficult and scary to even get inside the venue. Terrified would be the word. I'm not sure if I have some major issues with anxiety or what, but it's so extreme and unbearable at times that it's borderline redicilous. I'm not sure if anyone else gets this, but it's been a real sticking point for me. I also seems to have lost the initial momentum of enthusiasm and now kind of just going through the motions. Wondering why am I doing this... will I ever actually get good at this stuff or am I just putting myself through borderline torture (because of anxiety) for no reason. I'm focusing on the result though and hoping it will one day resolve, but right now just going through the motions as much as I can trying to overcome the sheer TERROR of going out and approaching women.

Basically it took me about 20 minutes to muster up the courage to actually go INTO the venue. When I got there I wasn't planning to do approaches, because of severe anxiety. I decided to do ONE approach. I did it and it went fairly well, girl was giving moderate IOI's, but I was too scared to initate kino. Forced qualified her and went for number close, but she didn't give it to me.

Approached 2 girls outside, chatted for a bit, then they left.

I went home.

I suppose to guys who are going out experiencing maddening anxiety: you're not alone lol... I really hope this will get better, because it really feels very unpleasant.
__________________
High self-esteem (and resulting beliefs and vocal projection from that)  = the single MOST important piece of the game, from which everything else stems. Draw the good feelings from within, feel brave enough to experience happiness and awesomeness about yourself on an ongoing and consistent basis, feel truely ENTITLED to 10's, make yourself validated internally (approval or rejection by other people does not alter your awesomness), bring the party and be loud as fuck (borderline obnoxious vocal projection at clubs). It is your birthright to feel entitled to and to expect all the best life has to offer. It doesn't matter what everyone else thinks about you. http://www.rsdnation.com/node/186628/forum Ryan Bootcamp, Nov 19-21, 2010, Washington DC
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#4
MovingForward

MovingForward

Respected Member

Join Date: 07/12/2010 | Posts: 308

Took some time off, because was feeling extremely overwhelmed with life and rejections in PU, too. Now I'm back

Friday, Aug 7

Had one of the best nights tonight for a long time. I let go of outcome today and decided to focus on having fun 100%.

Related post:
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/161517

==
Hey guys,

If you remember I've been posting some stuff here about how I've been experiencing mad anxiety at clubs, fear of approaching, etc etc etc.

I took couple of weeks off and tonight went out, absolutely detached from all outcome. The idea was to just "have fun" , zero outcome dependance. I went out fully expecting NOT to get laid tonight, but to just go there and get great interractions going.

As expected, it went great. Hooked like 80% of sets, awesome interractions, 100% in the moment, etc. Didn't get laid or anything, but I suppose maybe I'm not "cool enough" for girls to go home and fuck with me yet, but what I'm liking is that IMO it would be beneficial to focus for a few weeks or even months to go out, telling yourself beforehand that you're not going to try to "close close close" and go for any sort of outcome, other than just having fun.

If an opportunity presents that you can actually take a girl home do it, but that shouldn't be a focus.

To me in this stage this seemed to have helped a lot. The pressure to "always be closing" put me into very outcome dependant frame and resulted in very poor interractions. I'd say if you're having trouble with "always be closing" mindset, try going out for a bit going totally opposite way of "not trying to close at all" and see what happens.

Now I'm prolly gonna keep doing this and slowly incorporating more intent into the game as I improve. I've had some intent today when I got in state and kinoed a few girls, too. So, it's not all 100% lack of intent, more like 90% outcome independance, 10% intent.

===

Was overall in the great mood when walked to the club. Surprisingly little anxiety, as I was just going to "talk to people" not try to "game". Went up, huge line, busted open first set, went absolutely great, even though a girl was with her husband. Get in, approach couple of blondes, goes a bit sour, next. Approach some chicks here and there, get in line to go to patio. A girl is next to me I start opening and talking. She seems drugs+high or something, goes good for a bit, then kinda goes down.

Get to the patio, approach first set they were joking about something, joke back "yoo I'll join yo party" something like that, basically it didn't hook but they were smiling etc. Approach 3 girls, 1 guy. Girls are not very friendly. I keep plowing, then one girl says "we're not entertained please go away" the guy starts getting "protective" and "dude just keep going" stuff, I tool the guy a bit for trying to act like a guardian protector, de-escalate it and move on.

Approach 2 girls 1 guy, chat them up, girl is diggin me at first a bit, then not and they go away, the guy also. Then approach 2 girls, talk about drinks, just saying random shit to amuse myself. They seem to be in, girlcoding each other in a positive way, then for some reason they have to go find their friends lol.

Approach 2 girls with "I've arrived" lol... hook, some talking, they were very amused by this opener, one girl asked me about it like 5 times lol... fun vibe, but for some reason "we gotta go to the bathroom"... mkay. Take couple of minutes breather, approach some girls with lots of drinks on the table, joke around, amuse myself a bit, plow plow plow, eventually they have to "go to the bathroom".

Approach 2 girls 1 guy, talk talk, going great with one girl, blah blah, awesome vibe, kino, but she starts getting uncomfortable, get "we're lesbians" bs again, basically blown out

Approach 3 girls 1 guy, hook hard with one girl, talk to her about 15 mins, great dynamic, but she's there with b/f who's standing right there lol... fuck

Approach 2 girls with something stupid I don't remember, but it hooks, talk talk talk then bouncer tells us we have to leave cuz club is closing, I try to walk with those girls, but she starts ignoring me the one I'm after. W/e

Go downstairs approach 2 dancing girls, chat her up blah blah, she's not responding as she's dancing, I keep plowing, she's smiling and telling me "nice to meet you" as she leaves.

Go outside approach girl who looks lost. Talk talk, she's not really responding, plow a bit, talk talk, she's there with some guys, guy shakes me hand blah blah, girl is not responsive, next

See the set I opened in line to the club, chat with them again, awesome vibe both with the guy and girl (husband and wive), tlak talk talk, girl is super into me from what it appears, but obviously married there with a husband. I wish them good night and leave.

What I learned tonight: that being outcome independant removes A LOT of pressure. Ozzie is a cool guy and I love his style, but at this point for me it seems to be too much to be so much outcome oriented and trying to "close" all the time. I think it's because too much intent and outcome dependance creates tension, anxiety and overall shitty interactions. But if I let go of outcome, yet do all the right actions (such as escalating, kinoing, etc) just for the sake of doing it not because I actually care if I get any sort out outcome or not, then it becomes great.

I'm so excited about this... what if I keep doing this for months and months, even years. How good will I be in 3 years? 5 years? I can only imagine. All those beatiful, seemingly unattainable girls would become something that's very very much reachable and that's just awesome!!!
__________________
High self-esteem (and resulting beliefs and vocal projection from that)  = the single MOST important piece of the game, from which everything else stems. Draw the good feelings from within, feel brave enough to experience happiness and awesomeness about yourself on an ongoing and consistent basis, feel truely ENTITLED to 10's, make yourself validated internally (approval or rejection by other people does not alter your awesomness), bring the party and be loud as fuck (borderline obnoxious vocal projection at clubs). It is your birthright to feel entitled to and to expect all the best life has to offer. It doesn't matter what everyone else thinks about you. http://www.rsdnation.com/node/186628/forum Ryan Bootcamp, Nov 19-21, 2010, Washington DC
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#5
MovingForward

MovingForward

Respected Member

Join Date: 07/12/2010 | Posts: 308

Saturday, Aug 8

Had headache today, 50/50 about going out. Still went out, a little anxiety, but nothing extreme.

Got into line, opened first set 3 girls 1 guy. They were completely unreactive to my presence. I plowed a bit, but nothing.

Then turn around engage people behind me, 2 girls 1 guy. Girl told me I was high, even though I obviously wasn't. Joked around a bit with them, but they were not engaged into conversation.

Witnessed couple of guys about to get into a fight over absolutely nothing. Kind of amusing how they were both feeding into frame of negativity and both escalating over NOTHING. I even told the guy "yo just ignore him, let him talk shit, who cares". But I guess chodes don't understand what frame control is.

Got into the venue, popped open 2 set of girls, no hook.

Approached probably couple more sets, I don't really remember, but basically all didn't hook.

Started getting into my head, wanting to go home. Decided to go to the patio, at least there it's not as loud and I can actually talk to people.

Get there, pop open a set, engage this one girl. Absolutely amazing interraction and vibe. I was just amusing myself, having fun, talking about what I want to talk about, and she was diggin it. Talked to her for about 30-40 mins, but turns out she had a b/f. Even when her friends were calling her, she wouldn't go and just girlcoded them to leave her alone. I'm about 70% sure that if she didn't have a b/f, I'd fuck her that night, if logistics were right.

I spent so much time on this girl that I was already a little tired.  Approached few sets here and there, nothing really hooked. Went downstairs, approached few more sets, nothing hooked majorly again. Just brief interractions.

Decided to call it a night and went home.

Lessons learned:

You just never know when a good set will present itself. You cannot know how it will go before going in, it can go like shit, or it can go absolutely amazing. I'm also starting to undersatnd this whole balance between outcome independance and having intent. It's almost as if you have to focus on having fun, bringing value, being outcome independant primarily, and then ON TOP OF THAT you have to layer (or sprinkle) intent. Then it seems to be really working, you'll be having fun and actually apparently dramatically incerase your chances of getting laid. Because you're having fun, girl is having fun and then you sprinkle intent on top of it, it just becomes awesome. I think before I went out with TOO MUCH intent and outcome dependance and not enough fun. Now I try to focus on having fun first and foremost, even if I don't get laid. Then if I hook hard and girl starts diggin me, I begin escalation.

I gotta be honest though today I didn't get much kino going at all... very very little, even with that girl who I was talking for 30 mins... I guess I was enjoying it so much I didn't want to "blow it" with kino, plus she mentioned b/f about 10 mins into the conversation. Probably should've bailed, but I enjoyed talking to her too much lol.
__________________
High self-esteem (and resulting beliefs and vocal projection from that)  = the single MOST important piece of the game, from which everything else stems. Draw the good feelings from within, feel brave enough to experience happiness and awesomeness about yourself on an ongoing and consistent basis, feel truely ENTITLED to 10's, make yourself validated internally (approval or rejection by other people does not alter your awesomness), bring the party and be loud as fuck (borderline obnoxious vocal projection at clubs). It is your birthright to feel entitled to and to expect all the best life has to offer. It doesn't matter what everyone else thinks about you. http://www.rsdnation.com/node/186628/forum Ryan Bootcamp, Nov 19-21, 2010, Washington DC
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#6
MovingForward

MovingForward

Respected Member

Join Date: 07/12/2010 | Posts: 308

Tuesday Aug 11

Didn't want to go out today, was tired. During the weekend I went out after having a cup of coffee, which helped me quite a bit (made me energetic and wanting to talk a lot). Tonight I didn't drink any coffee, because I got work tomorrow, so obviously I didn't have any energy to approach lol.

But did go out, as soon as I got in, I felt the ego from my old days... yeah... that feeling like you're "too cool" for everyone there and afraid to approach, because that will burst the "I'm too cool" bubble. As I was walking though, one girl "accidentally" bumped into me with her ass, I guess the "I'm too cool" aura let itself be known, but usually it means they are seeking validation. As soon as you react, you're not needed anymore, that's why all this "I'm too cool" vibe is lame.

Approached first set, 2 guys 2 girls, yelled "yaaaay" no hook though. Plowed a bit, no hook. Turn around, engage a girl, seemed to have hooked briefly, but some guy was gaming another girl and was super drunk, that girl got uncomfortable and pulled my girl away. Turned around, engaged the first set again, no hook.

Walked around a bit and decided to call it a night, just too lethargic and lazy to do approaches, gotta drink some more coffee next time. I'm not sure about you guys, but for me coffee seems to make a lot of difference, it gives me energy and desire to actually engage and talk to people.

I was also focused on work (got a big order and will have to work on it today and tomorrow) and was in my head a lot today. Just couldn't relax knowing I have a big project due in a couple of days.
__________________
High self-esteem (and resulting beliefs and vocal projection from that)  = the single MOST important piece of the game, from which everything else stems. Draw the good feelings from within, feel brave enough to experience happiness and awesomeness about yourself on an ongoing and consistent basis, feel truely ENTITLED to 10's, make yourself validated internally (approval or rejection by other people does not alter your awesomness), bring the party and be loud as fuck (borderline obnoxious vocal projection at clubs). It is your birthright to feel entitled to and to expect all the best life has to offer. It doesn't matter what everyone else thinks about you. http://www.rsdnation.com/node/186628/forum Ryan Bootcamp, Nov 19-21, 2010, Washington DC
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#7
MovingForward

MovingForward

Respected Member

Join Date: 07/12/2010 | Posts: 308

Saturday, Aug 14

Yoyoyoyoyo, wassup guys.

Another report of trying to get out of the chode land (renamed the topic title lol):

Didn't go out since Tuesday, had exteme amount of work this week, on Friday I was like a zombie, had half the bottle of wine and passed the fuck out.

Today I decided to try new way to go out. Drink coffee before hittng the club (before I was trying to avoid caffeine and just go all natural). I think I overdid caffeine a bit, should've had a little less, IMO. I was SO high energy and SO stung up, that I think I was turning girls off by this. I think if I drink a little less, it will be awesome.

So I get to the club, waiting in line. Pop open first set. I'm on (caffeine is doing it's job), immideately natural BR tonality (I was surprised myself). Blew it open, IOI's, talking. Joking around, etc, but I'm so ON due to caffeine that I think I overdo it. The set closes off, I decide to calm down a bit and just chode around in line to re-center.

Right before I got into the club some girls cut the line in front of me, I joked around about them being "naughty",etc. One girl was hot. I later saw her at a club, grabbed her arm, she wanted to stay with me, but had to follow her friend. But I noticed that she was into me, I was surprised, but it felt great (validation lol...).

Approach few girls to warm up, basically not really hooking hard, but just shooting shit.

Decide that I need to go to the patio so I can actually hear people talk. Pop open 4 sets, bored looking girls, talk talk talk, but they are kinda boring, I move on. Approach 5 set guys and girls, engage them, it hooks, talk talk talk, but I think I'm either saying stupid shit or something else is off, I lose another set. I think I'm coming waaay over the top and ultra high energy, while saying stupid shit.

Approach couple of girls, hook immideately, blah blah, she's married, keep talking, good vibe, but I lose it again.

Approach another set 2 guys 3 girls, going great, the girl is married though, but w/e, we keep talking, befriend the husband, sharing stories. But I think I again went overboard with something as I just blatantly lose the set (it's on on on on, bam she turns around and is silent). I get into my head and eject.

Turn around enegage some set, but it didn't hook.

Approach 2 girls looking bored, blah blah, they are kind of serious and not in a fun mood, waiting for the boyfriends to buy drinks or something. I eject because I stall.

Decide to go stand on the site of the club and just re-center a bit (IMO I'm coming off waaay too overbearing and intense).

Go back in after about 5 mins.

Approach 2 girls, hook, joke around joke around, but I lose them for some reason. They just walk off.

At this point I'm just exhausted and decide to head out. Outside approach couple of girls by trying to guess where they are from, no hook.

Approach 3 girls, hooked briefly, but one girl was giving me MAAAD shit tests, I passed with flying colors (just keeping my frame, calling her feisty). She started to be attracted, but they walk off.

Approach 3 girls, immideate shit tests for some reason, IMO I'm doing good, reframe the stuff, "you're feisty" etc, but those girl were either fucked up I don't know, they were actually pretty mean (in a malicious way). Whatever, but they did inquire that I "was drunk enough to hit on 3 girls on the street". After which I calmly informed them I was actually sober. It kinda gave me an ego boost lol.

Was standing outside a club just in my head, a girl approaches me asking for directions. Talked for a few secs, maybe I should've engaged her, cuz I think she was attracted to me that's why she approached me, not because she actually needed directions. Lesson: if a girl opens you for any reason, she's probably into, because there are other people there (including girls) who she can ask for directions. At that point I didn't realize it, but after she walked off it kinda crossed my mind.

Conclusions:

Well, today just another day, I guess one inch closer to being truely awesome. Just gotta tune down the caffeine a little bit so that I don't completely overwhelm people. Even though I didn't get that much action today (I was barely doing kino today) and I was losing sets left and right, it was still fun night and gave me more reference experiences.
__________________
High self-esteem (and resulting beliefs and vocal projection from that)  = the single MOST important piece of the game, from which everything else stems. Draw the good feelings from within, feel brave enough to experience happiness and awesomeness about yourself on an ongoing and consistent basis, feel truely ENTITLED to 10's, make yourself validated internally (approval or rejection by other people does not alter your awesomness), bring the party and be loud as fuck (borderline obnoxious vocal projection at clubs). It is your birthright to feel entitled to and to expect all the best life has to offer. It doesn't matter what everyone else thinks about you. http://www.rsdnation.com/node/186628/forum Ryan Bootcamp, Nov 19-21, 2010, Washington DC
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#8
MovingForward

MovingForward

Respected Member

Join Date: 07/12/2010 | Posts: 308

Sunday Aug 15

Went out today on caffeine (about half a cup of coffee) + 5 shots of vodka. I gotta tell you, this combo will probably allow you to bump your game to the next level at least for the night (vodka or liquor specifically, not beer. Beer seems to relax you too much). I suggest do it at least 1 day a week if you go out 3+ nights per week. It will give you good perspective on where your sticking points may be.

Went out, approached first set, blah blah, number close. Strong BR tonality, some qualification. C&C mentality full on.

I went out, saw my ex there... mkay, it kinda gave me even more desire to go balls to the wall and excel.

The results were awesome.

As soon as she again courteously reminded me that I'm her ex, by telling that to one of her friends there, at first I felt a bit deflated and decided to "fuck it" and just walked off and not talk to her anymore. Had to do a round around the club to regain my composure a bit, then went back, opened a 3 or 4 set, I didn't even look how many, of HOT girls DANCING on the dancefloor, music BLARING. BOOOOOOOOOOM I'm IN, claw, shifting sands, STRONG vocal projection, BR tonality, C&C attitude, positive dominance, smiling, in the moment... the girl I'm after is completely infatuated. Befriend her girlfriends there too, they love me.

Mind you this is happening right in front of ex's eyes. All I'm thinking inside is "FUCK YEAH!!!".

This girl I'm talking to even went as far as spelling her name on the cellphone, because I couldn't understand it due to music blaring so loud.

She then proposes to go outside to smoke a cig. We go there, talk talk talk it's going GREAT. I'm going for isolation to my house, but she doesn't want to. I say something stupid probably or maybe was a bit too needy, I lose her, she says she's going to dance and poof she's gone. I later saw her and try to #close her, she didn't give it to me.

I go back in, approach some girls I don't remember too much because I was a bit drunk. Basically STRONG BR tonality came totally naturally. Strong overall presence (alcohol+caffeine), commanding, almost obnoxious vocal projection and BR tonality. The girls loved it. Lesson learned. BR tonality and C&C mentality FTW.

Go outside approach some girls there everything's ON, sets hooking and flying open everywhere, but I end up losing them all after a little bit for various reasons, including no reason at all (as far as I could see).

This is a new sticking point for me: I can go out and approach, hook and get attraction, but I end up losing the girl after some time in usually. I think it may be because I come off a bit dancing monkey like (caffeine is working it up) and maybe a bit reaction seeking and outcome oriented.

Probably have to kind of try to NOT TRY so hard, but just flow with it more and be more in the moment. Also with caffeine gotta be careful, if you do too much, you'll be all over the place, as in you'll be talking non-stop and super hyper.

This night of vodka (clean drunk) + caffeine really made me see how my own game can be improved. As I'm getting various reference experiences, I can predict how girls will react to me if I do one thing and if I do another thing. I know that going in weak and low energy, with NR tonality just doesn't work that well. Going in STRONG with BR tonality and C&C mentality (think of yourself as a military commander with strong positive dominance) seems to be getting girls attracted EXTREMELY fast and EXTREMELY hard. I was doing it on a dancefloor and girls couldn't even hear what I was saying and STILL they were attracted. Awesome.
__________________
High self-esteem (and resulting beliefs and vocal projection from that)  = the single MOST important piece of the game, from which everything else stems. Draw the good feelings from within, feel brave enough to experience happiness and awesomeness about yourself on an ongoing and consistent basis, feel truely ENTITLED to 10's, make yourself validated internally (approval or rejection by other people does not alter your awesomness), bring the party and be loud as fuck (borderline obnoxious vocal projection at clubs). It is your birthright to feel entitled to and to expect all the best life has to offer. It doesn't matter what everyone else thinks about you. http://www.rsdnation.com/node/186628/forum Ryan Bootcamp, Nov 19-21, 2010, Washington DC
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#9
MovingForward

MovingForward

Respected Member

Join Date: 07/12/2010 | Posts: 308

Tuesday Aug 18

Blah. Anxiety andxiety anxiety.

Basically I decided to start following Brad's schedule, meaning come from work at 5-6pm, pass out, wake up at around 10pm, coffee, shower, hit the clubs. No liquor shot, though.

Well, went out today to my usual Tuesday night venue. It's extremely high energy bar for a Tuesday night.

Motivation to go out was so-so... after previous night's out on Sunday when I took 5 shots + coffee and was ON, this was a little less inspiring as I was going sober and caffeine added a bit of jitters before going. I still think caffeine is beneficial, even though it creates a bit more anxiety.

Drive up there, sit in the car for about 15 mins to re-center. Finally muster up the courage to go in. Go in, it's incredibly high energy, just wow. Music blaring, people dancing everywhere (it's a college bar + dance floor).

I'm low energy... well fuck it lets do it, approach first set, some asian chick... doesn't hook, she just keep ignoring me and dancing.

Approach a girl on the dancefloor talking to her friends, BR tonality, voice projection (I've been back in the field for just a bit over a month and I resotred my vocal projection after last night, I remembered how to do it properly). It hooks, we chat up, she's a little bit into me, but not like all over me or anything. I can't hear a word she's saying, it's so loud. I propose we go outside to talk, she refuses, saying she's gotta stay with her friends, then clings to one of her friends. I make a joke about them huggin and attempt to jokingly hug them both while sticking my tongue out and moving it quickly up and down. One of the girls didn't get the joke lol... she got PISSED. Told me to go away, etc etc, very serious. I just stood there, kind of making fun of her, very charged situation... eventually they walk off.

I approach some girls at a bar, but they ignore me despite BR tonality, vocal projection, plowing and spitting words. Fine. Approach probably someone else there, I already forgot, but if I did it didn't hook. Go further some girls with glowsticks going the opposite direciton, I engage them asking them if they are raver girls and pop extacy before hitting the club. We joke around a bit and they ask me to take a picture. I tell em (all in BR tonality + voice projection) that if they kiss me I'll do it. One girl grabs me and kisses me on the cheek, it was so sudden and awakward, and they also took a picture of it and then ran off lol... wow, I guess first kiss since about a month. She wasn't pretty though (kinda chubby), so I kept going.

Approach some hottie with some guy, she kinda points at a guy and says something I presume that "I'm with him"... touches my hair and says it's nice then kinda walks off a bit. I move on.

Approach 3 girls, engage, BR tonality, plowing, but no hook... guys pull them away (prolly b/f's).

Do another circle, approach 3 set. Cool girls, hooks hard, we talk. I mistake one girl for the one that kissed me, told her something like she's a good kisser and keep talkin. She prolly didn't understand what I was talking about, w/e lol. Kept talking with no particular girl there that I wanted, eventually the vibe died down for some reason and I bailed.

Approach 3 girls on the dancefloor, engage one of them, tell her she should get the drink of the same color as her t-shirt, it'd be tyte. She prolly didn't think it was so "tyte" she ignored me after that. Blah.

See the girl that kissed me, she's being all shy, etc, but I can see that she probably likes me. Since she wasn't cute, I didn't want to pursue her, so I kept going.

At this point I walked around the bar twice, so almost all approachable sets were exhausted. There were more girls there, but I decided to call it a night, since they were all with guys (as in not just standing with a guy, but actually WITH a guy).

This whole night out lasted about 20 minutes, maybe even less. I started to get the familiar exhaustion at that point, where I didn't want to do approaches anymore and felt a little bit overwhelmed and uninterested in approaching and subjecting myself to cold approaching.

Going out drunk is definitely A LOT easier... but I know from past experience that going out drunk is not going to improve your skill. It's only good as perspective 1 day a week max just so you can kind of "jump the gap" a bit in your game. It helped me establish vocal projection and BR tonality since Sunday. Also I overall come off a bit more dominant and I seem to get better attraction than say 2 weeks ago.

Hopefully the anxieties associated with cold approaches will diminish in the future and I'll be more proficient at this and be able to have stronger presence and lead better.

Today I noticed that I somewhat kind of subconsiously reach for reactions. Seeking reactions in other people and then seeing myself through those reactions. I saw it, I decided to just chill back and lean back a bit and it seemed to ease some tension between me and a girl. I think I'm not letting go of the outcome 100% and it telegraphs to the girl. Maybe I'm detached from "get laid" outcome, but definitely not detached from "validate me please, make me feel like I'm not doing something wrong by talking to you right now" outcome dependancy.

Also when I got into a club, it was so highly charged I started becoming a bit overwhelemed with the whole scene... I decided to just... slow.... down... and focus.... on breathing..... it's great, try it sometime. I actually felt the tensions in the body being released and I realized just how tensed up I was.

I think if I work on releasing tension by focusing on breathing and being in the moment + kind of mentally lean back from trying to validate myself through other people's responses and just PROJECT (not just voice and BR tonality, but also PERSONALITY), then I think I will reach another level.
__________________
High self-esteem (and resulting beliefs and vocal projection from that)  = the single MOST important piece of the game, from which everything else stems. Draw the good feelings from within, feel brave enough to experience happiness and awesomeness about yourself on an ongoing and consistent basis, feel truely ENTITLED to 10's, make yourself validated internally (approval or rejection by other people does not alter your awesomness), bring the party and be loud as fuck (borderline obnoxious vocal projection at clubs). It is your birthright to feel entitled to and to expect all the best life has to offer. It doesn't matter what everyone else thinks about you. http://www.rsdnation.com/node/186628/forum Ryan Bootcamp, Nov 19-21, 2010, Washington DC
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#10
incy

incy

Respected Member

Join Date: 12/01/2007 | Posts: 436

Keep Posting. :)

I might have an idea for a feedback.

Include your dialogues (at least a few you can remember) and maybe some a bit of you lifestyle. You seem to be inconsistant with going out , something is distracting ?

I skimmed through , but I saw inconsistence of going out , some bad self-perception of yourself and it is like you don't fully trust yourlself. And not pushing hard enough. Or self-amusing. Or lol , I'm keyboard jockeying.

Might be totally wrong , I mean it is Internet, but keep going.

But your reports don't ring as you are enjoying yourself, either.
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