THE FORUMS

April 30th, 2017
sarging on the dancefloor for newbies?
Your rating: None
Bookmark and Share
im2park

im2park

Member

Join Date: 05/05/2010 | Posts: 87

After going to Tyler's free May 6th seminar in NYC and 3 weeks of reading countless articles on RSD, I finally went sarging for the first time in my life last night. A friend of mine invited me to one of his night club events. He is a promoter, and his promotion company is always holding special events, so I thought this was a great oppurtunity to put my knowledge to use. We decided to drive there together but he had to work outside to sign people up on the guestlist; he couldn't party with me. This was my chance to do my first approaches ever by myself. I started out with a warm up set, I chit-chatted here and there with the other promoters and bouncers and introduced myself to a couple of other staff working at the night club. The party starts, but its pretty dead for some reason, only 2 people dancing on the dancefloor. After a while, the place started filling up and I saw a pattern.

1) All of the guys looked the same, 90% of them were chodes. They all wore fancy graphic tees, many of them were guidos.
2)  The chicks would be dancing with each other, forming a chick circle.
3)  The chodes would come in and grind on them from behind, or grab their hand and try to pull them out of the circle
4) 90% of the time, the chicks would push them away and glare at them
5) The guys would give up, chode out, and dance to themselves, breakdancing, making an ass out of themselves at an attempt to attract attention.


Girls dancing with girls. Chodes dancing with chodes.
Only about 6 girls in the entire club that were crazy horny and grinding on everyone.

I read a shitload of threads on RSD forum about dancefloor game. I went in direct, with breaking tonality, really loud voice to counter the loud club music. I would go in, grab her wrist or touch her on the arm (kino) and say "AYYYY, you look bored, lets dance!" or something similar to that. The girls would look at me with a baffled look. Almost every chick in there had an extreme shield up. My goal was to approach 10 girls, no matter what, even if they all rejected me. Tyler's principle of "the only criteria for success is to approach". I kept approaching, at least 8 girls on the dancefloor. They all pushed me away. And then I realized what I was doing wrong, the club music was LOUD, so opening with verbal communication is a horrible idea, even with loud breaking rapport tonality. So I went in hard, trying to dance to myself, feeling the music, pumping myself up. The DJ fuckin sucked but I couldn't complain: Tyler always says "What you resist persists". Blaming my failures on the girls' shields and the shitty music isn't going to help me, not only did I come here to approach, I came here to have fun.  

So I used the technique used in this video:   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM3_O0QPsQ8&playnext_from=TL&videos=kEwiH...

Approaching from behind, with my hands out. Chicks would laugh at me and walk away. Horrible idea. I realized how chode I was for approaching and grinding girls from behind.
In the the end, one girl started grinding on me, I felt her up (kino), spinned her around, danced face to face, trying to lead her. She lost interest in me and walked away after 5-10 minutes.
I felt really good and pumped, so I walked away from the dancefloor to approach girls chilling out in the back, build momentum. I realized the 8 girls that I approached on the dancefloor didn't really count, because they couldn't hear me on the dancefloor, so as I was walking to the backdoor to where all the people who weren't dancing were hanging out, this chick sitting at the bar eyes me. I hold eye contact with her, with confidence, never looking away. I walk up to her, and she immediately grabs my chins and pulls me in. I was surprised, this chick approached me, instead of me approaching her. MAGIC happens when you're in state!
Anyways, this chick (HB#1) and her friend (HB#2) grabs me and pulls me in,
HB #1:"Who are you?"
Me: I'm Mike, Who are you? Who's your friend?
HB#2: This is ____, and I'm Ashley  (I don't remember their names but it doesn't matter)
Me(breaking tonality): Oh cool, how did you guys meet each other?
HB#1 and HB#2:  We're best friends, BEST FRIENDS FOR LIFE *laughs*

They walked away immediately, and I feel like such a chode. I should have double clawed them, or at least hold the conversation.
I approached a bunch of other chicks, it was really easy to approach chicks standing alone, but every single set I opened rejected me. My state went down the drain, I was feeling so pumped 5 minutes before..............
My promoter friend works there and had to work there until the club closed. I choded out, waiting for an hour, standing against the wall feeling horrible. After it ended on the drive home, my friend was talking about how dead the party was tonight. It usually PACKED every single week, but today it was dead. I agreed and told him how it took forever for people to actually start dancing on the dancefloor.


I approached about 20 something chicks, only 2-3 were receptive. I was feeling really great, having fun even though I was sarging alone. As RSD Tim says, " I was bringing the party". I hip bumped and grabbed girls by the wrist and did all that stuff to try to initiate ze grindingz and dancez with ze girlz, but they were traveling in packs. 3-4 chicks in a protective circle, pushing away any chodes.The first two hours, I felt PIMP, but towards the end, I felt horrible and my state fell through the floor. Even though I kept reciting to myself in my head the affirmation "The only criteria for success is to approach", it's not exactly fun to be rejected by girls left and right. Being looked at like a fuckin pathetic chode.


Looking back, I realized that the reason I was being rejected left and right was not my fault. For some reason the chicks had SUPER BITCH-shields, and the DJ was like a prom DJ from hell. I've been to a club before and people  weren't as hostile to strangers. It was just a bad night. Pondering on how much the night blowed is not productive. Positive thinking! I have to analyze and break down how I could have closed the 2 HB set and the girl that grinded on me.      I'm trying to analyze how I could have kiss closed the girl that grinded on me, and how I could have held the conversation with the 2 set. [/u][u]What would you have done, my fellow RSD members? The 2 HB set said they were "BEST FRIENDS FOR LIFE", and I ran out of things to say. Please help my chode conversation skills. And how could I have physically escalated with that grinding chick.

What did I do wrong?



My questions to the RSD community:

1) how do you dance with a girl without being pushed away? How do you initiate grinding without coming off as too needy? I tried everything: dancing to myself, playfully hipbumping, grabbing wrists, approaching from behind (BIG MISTAKE),
2) How do you penetrate the "chick groups"
3) I'm going to start salsa dancing lessons next wednesday, what else can help me with my dancing skills? Where can I learn how to grind and freak dance? I really want to learn dancing in general, like hip hop dancing, I think I'll search for hip hop dancing studios.
4) How do I keep the girl from not losing interest in my dancing?   The girl that I grinded on I did pretty good, we danced pretty long, for 3 different songs,  looking back, there is no doubt in my mind that I could have kiss-closed but I was doing something wrong. As she was backing up on me, I put my hands on her hips, we did the standard left-to-right motion to the beat of the music. I felt her up: shoulders, arms, up and down her waist, her belly, and her thighs. To spice it up, I decided to spin her around, I used my right arm, reaching around her front and grabbing  her left wrist. I tried spinning her around, it was mad awkward but she did turn around. I think that was a big turn off. How do I spin a girl around? Did I do it right, did I just have to pull her harder and faster? Anyways after awkwardly spinning her around, we danced face to face, this girl had HORRIBLE rhythym but I tried my best. I spinned her around again and felt her up again(kino). I repeated that pattern, I really wanted to kiss her but I knew at this point she would reject it. After 3 songs she just lost interest slowly drifted away. How could I have escalated more? Feeling her up was CLEARLY not enough. I knew if I escalated more, I would have kiss closed her. 
5) How could I have grabbed the HB sets attention? I didn't touch them or claw them, I know I should have. How could I continue the conversation after they said they are best friends?

help a brother out!
__________________
Online marketing consultant for small businesses. Looking for an accountability partner for business goals. PM me if interested.

Also looking for someone to lend me Optimize Press. I need to make a sales page. Pm me if you can help me
Login or register to post.
#1
Synyster

Synyster

Trusted Member

Join Date: 04/09/2008 | Posts: 1502

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbtD_y_X3SU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4oNVIYsuc4&feature=related look at the way they both dance. Learn to roll your body like that haha it gets girls good.

Good shit there for dancing. Hip Hop dancing wise I just watch a lotta music videos of the popular dance songs. When dancing just be loose. Don't be so tensed up. I always have to tell girls this everytime I dance they are like statues. Big thing if you're dancing with women you gotta LEAD. Not in the sense of leading her around the club, yea do that, but lead the dance. You move her around where you want to.  Push, pull, bend her over to your liking.

If she's grinding you I just grab the opposite hand. No wrists. My left hand grabs her right hand and I spin her slow or fast depending on how the song goes. After three songs I woulda gotten a drink. But I'm not old enough to drink legally idk bout you but thats what I woulda done.
__________________
http://soundcloud.com/sebt1890/wtfitsatrex

Turd Battalion Eigth Marine Regiment....

I look up to the sky, And now the World is mine, Ive known it all my life, I made it, I made it!
I used to dream about, the life I'm living now, I know that theres no doubt. I made it, I made it!

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/profile.php?id=552336628&ref=profile
Login or register to post.
#2
Naz

Naz

Member

Join Date: 11/27/2009 | Posts: 43

 The easiest thing in the world is to get girls to dance with you on the dancefloor. That is the EASIEST THING! 

It's very simple; ignore everybody and dance to the music and smile. Chicks will come in guaranteed. Under no circumstances would this not work. 
__________________
 
Login or register to post.
#3
im2park

im2park

Member

Join Date: 05/05/2010 | Posts: 87

Hey Synyster, thanks for the reply!
How can I physically escalate with a chick I'm grinding with, so I can get a makeout? I felt her up, waist, shoulders, arms, belly, thighs. How can I take it to the next level?
__________________
Online marketing consultant for small businesses. Looking for an accountability partner for business goals. PM me if interested.

Also looking for someone to lend me Optimize Press. I need to make a sales page. Pm me if you can help me
Login or register to post.
#4
Synyster

Synyster

Trusted Member

Join Date: 04/09/2008 | Posts: 1502

Stormwolf has a good point. Just go for it. It seems like you built some good tension there. Lead her hands on your body. Let her feel you up, guide em around.  What I do, this is just my take on it, I like to do all of that then dance face to face. Put my forhead on hers and just linger there like staring at her. For me that builds a lotta sexual tension. then i kiss her.
__________________
http://soundcloud.com/sebt1890/wtfitsatrex

Turd Battalion Eigth Marine Regiment....

I look up to the sky, And now the World is mine, Ive known it all my life, I made it, I made it!
I used to dream about, the life I'm living now, I know that theres no doubt. I made it, I made it!

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/profile.php?id=552336628&ref=profile
Login or register to post.
#5
im2park

im2park

Member

Join Date: 05/05/2010 | Posts: 87

Synyster, what do you do when you're in the club? Do you get crunk and dance to yourself, and then girls start approaching you? I was having a good time, being stupid and dancing to myself, but nobody approached me. It kinda sucked.
__________________
Online marketing consultant for small businesses. Looking for an accountability partner for business goals. PM me if interested.

Also looking for someone to lend me Optimize Press. I need to make a sales page. Pm me if you can help me
Login or register to post.
#6
Synyster

Synyster

Trusted Member

Join Date: 04/09/2008 | Posts: 1502

Honestly man I just do whatever I'm in the mood. I've been taking it easy whenever I go out which is mabye 1x a week. I don't drink like I used to I just drink 2 or 3 beers before I go in to relax. Girls may approach you every once in a whileand just randomly grind on you but it's you who needs to make the dive. Depending on what song plays dictates whether or not I'll dance with a girl or not. Sometimes I just like to rap the song but thats just me. Just be out there show you are having a good time. Like last night for example I went with a buddy of mine. We are sitting at the bar in the club it was 1145 and still hardly anyone was there. Just 2 mixed sets of old people and some frat guys. We leave and see whats popping and head back in. A few girls show up. There was a 5 set and it was some girls birthday. I forgot what song came on but my buddy and I went out there and sang it while dancing just generally having a good time. They looked over, next song I go over and it just opened. Introduced myself and danced with the bday girl to a song that i requested. And she got her shoutout. I think thats what really got me in good. Took turns dancing with all of em. Did exactly what you said you did. Put hands all over the body etc. Number closed a few girls that night. There were mabye 12 or 13 max and 2x as many guys haha.

Just remember to be persistent. Last week I kept tellin this girl to dance after the 4th time she gave in and we had a good night.
__________________
http://soundcloud.com/sebt1890/wtfitsatrex

Turd Battalion Eigth Marine Regiment....

I look up to the sky, And now the World is mine, Ive known it all my life, I made it, I made it!
I used to dream about, the life I'm living now, I know that theres no doubt. I made it, I made it!

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/profile.php?id=552336628&ref=profile
Login or register to post.
#7
crusher~

crusher~

Trusted Member

Join Date: 05/02/2008 | Posts: 1283

Congratulations on an awesome first night out. This is how I see thing and my perspective on dance floor.

The most important thing to remember about the dance floor is that a hottie grinding on your dick doesn't really mean anything. Oh, it MIGHT mean something, but likely doesn't.

Now, after realizing that a woman grinding on your dick is nearly meaningless, understand that the dancefloor is no different from the rest of the club. What you feel, she feels and a value sucking chode is still a value sucking chode despite having balls enough to get on the dancefloor.

To your questions directly.
1) How do you dance with a girl without getting pushed away? By bringing value instead of taking value. It's not in what you do, it's in who you are.
2) How do you penetrate chick groups? My old wingman would jump right in the middle of their group. I never really saw it go well. It didn't usually go badly, just not all that great either. Personally, I wait for the invitation.
3) How to learn to dance? Sure lessons are a good idea. You tube works, but the single biggest thing that can help your dancing is growing to the place where you don't give a shit if your dancing is retarded or wonderful. My dancing is mostly just silly shit I picked up along the way. One night I had a cute blond start mimicing me and I guessed it was being done in a bit of a mocking manner. So, I picked her up and spun around, and she ran away. Silly girl.
4) How do I keep the girl from not losing interest in my dancing? Do you care if she's interested in your dancing? Wouldn't you rather she was interested in you? Still, from your story, I get what you're asking. Push/Pull. Push her away and concentrate on your own dancing for 10 seconds and then pull her back in and start grinding again. Lead her. If she won't turn around, find someone else to dance with. If she won't turn around, she's value whoring and using you to pump her ego and nothing more. You are a faceless, anonymous, interchangable ego boost.
5) How to handle the hot friends? I'm not sure what the used to pull you in, chains perhaps, I'm pretty sure you didn't mean your multiple chins. Anyway. With women that forward, you can't hold back, not even one little bit. Probably what would have worked best is to not say anything while giving super intense laser eyes first to one girl and then to the other and then going for the makeout with the one who held eye contact and if she turns away, go for the makeout with her friend. THEN, if you get the makeout, back to the other girl for more makeouts and then three-way makeout etc. If you get a cheek or pullback from them, at that point drop back into "Hey, I'm Mike. (NR) Who are you? (BR)" But, what the fuck do I know. I'd have probably done something different, like pick them both up one on each hip and then spun around in a circle and then ad libbed from there.

Personally, this is how I go about using the dance floor. I like to dance, and I go out to dance for my enjoyment, and thus I bring value to the party happening on the dance floor. I don't leer and creep out the women on the dance floor, and I don't give a shit if they think I dance weird either, though sometimes I have to stop and remind myself to give a great big FU to everyone else's opinion. I'm a decent dancer. I'm not going to quit my day job, but compared to most guys, I'm a great dancer. It helps. So, I go out on the dance floor and do my thing and basically ignore the women. After a bit, they start opening me in subtle ways, the proximity opener, the body position opener. Groups of women? Usually a couple will want me to come and dance with them. So, I don't get pushed away because I don't pursue them. Oh, I'm sure that I miss out on lots of women that would have been into me if I'd opened them, but it's my way for right now.

So, my basic advice is to spend some time dancing for your own enjoyment, adding to the party, and then after you've established your chops as someone that adds value, make the move to include women in your party. Lastly, don't be afraid to dance with and occasionally grind on the fattie. You control who is coming home with you and it's a gracious, high-value move that shows that you understand the level 1 grinding is a social thing and meaningless, but with that, the hottie will see that you were nice to her fat friend who never gets any attention and everyone knows that you aren't really into the fattie, and then she is less likely to cock block you etc. etc.

Those are my opinionated opinions

Peace
__________________

Life. There are no dress rehearsals.
Login or register to post.
#8

akro_bat

Senior Member

Join Date: 01/19/2010 | Posts: 267

Naz wrote:
 The easiest thing in the world is to get girls to dance with you on the dancefloor. That is the EASIEST THING! 

It's very simple; ignore everybody and dance to the music and smile. Chicks will come in guaranteed. Under no circumstances would this not work. 
I enjoy dancing a lot and without giving a fuck, and often see how in 10 minutes max. I am surrounded by girls dancing with their friends, some of them sneaking looks at me, like waiting for me to make a move.

BUT none of them ever come in to dance with me... and if I make a move and take some girl's hand to dance, most of them reject it with a smile. 

Most of them dance with her friends with close body language at the start of the night. When it's late, they open her BL a little bit and sometimes get a bit far away from their group and it is easier to get a girl to dance.

What is your secret to get girls dance with you so easily? Are you good-looking? I really think that's a difference in dancing game.
__________________
 
Login or register to post.
#9
Synyster

Synyster

Trusted Member

Join Date: 04/09/2008 | Posts: 1502

Its not so much looks as to your ability to dance. If you are a good dancer meaning you are for sure one of the better guys in the place and girls see that then you will be good. I always get a song that I like to play early in the night and grab a not so shy girl and start salsa/swing dancing and by the time it's all said and done people will be looking and watching. Shit you may even encourage another couple to go out there with you. Brad has an article on this somewhere I forgot where it went.
__________________
http://soundcloud.com/sebt1890/wtfitsatrex

Turd Battalion Eigth Marine Regiment....

I look up to the sky, And now the World is mine, Ive known it all my life, I made it, I made it!
I used to dream about, the life I'm living now, I know that theres no doubt. I made it, I made it!

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/profile.php?id=552336628&ref=profile
Login or register to post.
#10
im2park

im2park

Member

Join Date: 05/05/2010 | Posts: 87

wow, thank you so much for the responses. I guess I am too needy when i'm on the dancefloor. But I can't help it!
I LOVE grinding! That's my greatest weakness, according to you guys. I'm taking value instead of adding, because I'm too needy, desparate to do ze grindz and dancez. I'll be starting salsa lessons every wednesday starting next week, so hopefully that will help.

crusher~, you mentioned that dancing/grinding doesn't really mean shit. Are you saying that you've never kino escalated with a girl on the dancefloor and k-closed her? Because thats what I wanted to do.
__________________
Online marketing consultant for small businesses. Looking for an accountability partner for business goals. PM me if interested.

Also looking for someone to lend me Optimize Press. I need to make a sales page. Pm me if you can help me
Login or register to post.