December 11th, 2018
Distant Light "Socialite & Spiritual Monk"
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Distant Light

Distant Light

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 2390

The fun in everything is completly gone...

This is the final post, you know shit is bad if I am HATING the club. You're reading from a guy who would spend everyday clubbing and would kill to travel for the sake of partying. An tonight was the first time EVER I left a club super early to go home. As I type this I am enjoying a 2 mile trek home...

Main reason for leaving was because I started interpreting everything about clubs/partying in such a bad way and decided its best if I leave now before I end up getting annoyed. For the longest time now its no longer been about fun and started revolving around wants/needs which I HATE because coming from that position internally, I can feel my quality of being getting worst and worst so essentially I'm going backwards. These influences cause me to feel like a LEECH in everything I do and as a result I become highly constraint.

In the past, it was all about fun...
-  I went out for the sake of fun
-  I interacted with people for the sake of fun and helping them have fun
-  I flirted with women for the sake of fun
-  I partied hard due to helping the whole venue get into that fun vibe

The intentions were PERFECT an regardless how the night went I'd grow because I had nothing but good intentions. Now, my intentions for the longest time have been very manipulative money making based motivations. This has completely killed all my fun to the point where TONIGHT I actually had hate for clubs. Before I thought it was laziness that caused me not to do anything BUT after hearing an MBT audio I realized it's my intentions that have changed resulting in this retarded dilemma.

Reason I stopped approaching is because each approach had a money oriented "hidden agenda", which explains why when chicks approach me or I get introduced through a friend things are NORMAL as if there is nothing wrong. When I would approach, once I realize they won't lead to me making money I INSTANTLY withdraw. For example, the hottie I approached thursday, once I realized she wasn't going out that night I became very disinterested and was trying to end the conversation. I also did the samething to this 2set of chicks who were going to a high end venue.

This is total opposite to when I would go out only for the sake of fun, you could NOT stop me from socializing. I was like a crackhead constantly wanting to have random conversations with people and ALWAYS approached hotties regardless of the situation. I remember I enjoyed it so much that I'd be laughing at the fact that I can't STOP talking to people.  How things have changed...

Crash Test Dummy
This idea was influenced by my travels through other realities...

What got me addicted to "exploration of conscioussness" was the subjective experiences created due to how I interpreted my perceptions. Ultimately, I do this all day long when out and about for the sake of fun BUT I've never really done it for the foundation of my reality. Essentially the plan is to configure my whole reality in a way that makes it so much fun to LIVE. This would be completely unprofitable to talk about since its 100% personal and has nothing to do with anything outside of myself. It's more of the fuel to get my life flowing in the direction I want...

Personally, what I got out of MBT was sort of a roadmap to lead me to that headspace where I'd finally LET GO and just live life sort of like a crash dummy. Bascially in my mind it would be as if I setup all the dynamics, run shitloads of test and let everything just unfold without care. For the past few years I've been very passive but I think the pressures have finally caused me to tick an say "Fuck it, time to get back in the drivers seat"

P.S...Can't believe I was dislking clubbing, this was a huge wakeup call to get my act together and refocus. I honestly would end up going full blown hippie if I stopped clubbing. What I mean by that is getting a bike an simply willing to ride cross country JUST CAUSE. For awhile now I've always used my "Default" internal state to kind of gauge my fears/ego and quality of being because by default I'm rather content. If I'm actively getting annoyed then I tend to look deeper to see what fears/ego influenced it because I'm almost never annoyed. When I have right intentions regardless of the outcome I always feel the reward internally. So me simply becoming annoyed at clubs was a massive red flag that something is up that I need to take notice of.

P.S.S...I want to close this thread badly now, for the time being I'll just keep bi-weekly progress reports of my new reality.
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Distant Light

Distant Light

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 2390

Progress Report: Money Over Bitches?
Just giving an update since things have changed almost drastically...

So 2-3 weeks ago I had a moment where I DISLIKED NIGHTLIFE to the point that I went home at 1am and concluded that it was more fun walking two miles home. I was pissed at myself that day as it became clear that all my internal BS was affecting my love for nightlife. Over the course of the 2-3 weeks the main question I asked myself was "WTF is the problem!?!? Why am I being the way that I am?" The conclusion was that I TRULY care more about living my life than getting women. Meaning I'd be willing to trade never having sex AGAIN for countless travel, fine dining and partying.

What do I mean? How did I confirm this?
I focused so much on women when in reality I stopped caring a long time ago and cared more about actually living life...

After a dreadful departure at 1am, the next week I was in the club FASCINATED by this promo guy who brought out about 30-40 male and female models. All I noticed was this HUGE group which was full of beauty, so I decided I'd get in. Next thing you know this hottie is making out with me, I finger another hottie, realized a chick in the group I fingered months ago, and this average chick (who at one point tits were hanging out) was trying very hard to take me home. That night made me think since I was SOLID, meaning I wasn't thinking about women, just partying and having fun. All the antics that were happening with women were just a byproduct. Eventually, it became apparent that I needed to change my interpretation of reality in my favor an so it began...

THURSDAY, brought out a female friend, did shots, partied hard! Byproduct, I met more women than I would've had I actively tried to "Approach". FRIDAY, off of thursday's high I end up getting to appreciate a wide range of beauty. Everyone knows I like the typical tall high fashion eastern european look, however this night options consisted of a colombian with a ridiculous ass, a fake tits brazilian and a gorgeous tall french chick who knew only 1% of english.

SATURDAY, I went solo to a brunch which was a great experience as these two chicks were fascinated by me due to my outlook on "having fun". They wanted to talke me to another brunch party that would lead into nighttime clubbing. During the night I bring out colombian, mix bounces us to VIP area, and next thing you know mix is with a chick who is MY IDEAL TYPE. Manager of club brings us 5 chicks and VIP host sends us 3 more chicks. Despite drinking lots of champagne my awareness is up and I end up working my magic #closing these cool bottle buyers. In the process of everything I meet another potential bottle buyer, an attractive tall older dancer who ends up kissing me and two other tall women.

Now For The Game Changer...
While all is good, the main reason I posted was because I noticed a few things lately. Mix was wondering why I didn't bang colombian chick. (She was wearing a sexy ass thong on that huge ass of hers) He didn't know but the same thing could be said about brazilian fake tits. What I learned about myself from that HUGE GROUP an just fooling with legit hotties is that...
1.  There is ZERO GAME, the ONLY thing that matters is putting sex on the table. (Anything else would be for my enjoying of the process) I'm finally humbly accepting the truth that people have been saying for awhile now. I have a presence about me where nothing needs to be done and I don't feel the need to have to do anything in order to get a chick.

2.  A woman's beauty has ZERO EFFECT on me. I do best with hot women BUT I also noticed that due to me having no response to their beauty it makes them doubt I'm attracted because I don't chase either. So imagine this guy who is either just observing or having a blast and her knowing that her being beautiful has zero influence on me.

It's those two new concepts that made me understand what was happening lately. I was noticing that so longs I approach it will be ON, as it seems like my minimalism and demeanor causes everything to be that more effective. The women at the brunch party, this bottle girl, this go go dancer and this hostess all had very short interactions with me but were ready. All I ever do is screen, flirt physically or my new way of flirting (verbally) is by acting like I'm the supermodel and I know they just want to try and get fucked by me. Also chicks were always read for whatever because for the past few weeks EVERY WOMAN that I took a picture with kissed me before the actual picture was snapped. This was due to the pose and them assuming I was going to kiss them when really it was me just flirting. It's similar to the "homo erotic mating dance" where chicks would try to kiss me due to them thinking I was going to kiss them.

Groundbreaking - The Biggest Understanding
The fact that I play the "supermodel" role and remain aloof about her beauty, makes it impossible for me to look to her to see what's what. This was a mindfuck for myself because I was so UNAWARE of many things including the fact that this was keeping these women (especially hot women) on the edge since their used to their looks influencing people. At first in my mind I was thinking...
-  "WTF!?!? Am I gay? It's like I'm not even interested in her"
-  "She can't tell if I'm interested, I should overtly show her"
-  "I don't think she's interested"

It's only NOW after ignoring those thoughts an just seeing what's what, I realize women become chodes once you establish the frame of "I know your trying to get me" while at the sametime remaining completely indifferent to her beauty. She is ultimately POWERLESS an knows no other gameplan since she's rarely if ever met a person who isn't affected by her beauty at all and the underlying assumption is that she is trying to get you regardless of the actions. As a result, they're more or less a deer in headlight and/or a nympho all over you.

Bulgarian, Colombian, Brazilian, and Ibiza dancer all had more or less the same mannerism as in a "poker face" way about them since they didn't know how to proceed to win me over. I wasn't chasing, wasn't affected by their beauty, and would fuck with them about how they're trying to get me. It took me awhile to recognize this but accumulated experience "being" that way helped out. When I was with brazilian and colombian, they enjoyed me playing with their ass. Like I'd be saying "I already know...I know your trying to get me" and I'd slap their ass which they'd just crack up. ALL women have no problem with the fact that I grab their hair an basically kiss their cheek over and over as I chat. (My way of fucking around flirting)

ALL these women were just waiting for me to simply present the opportunity for sex, they were ready from the start. How do I know this? Almost every chick I flirt with tries to kiss me only to realize I wasn't actually going to kiss them. Usually I PROLONG everything, which is why I noticed the vibe of sorta "Dead space" where nothing is really going on and she's sorta waiting for the opportunity to finally just POP UP aka "You leading by presenting the opportunity".


This level of indifference came about because I learned no matter who I banged or how much sex I have, it wouldn't change ANYTHING AT ALL. I'd still be living with my parents, having no income, inconsistently eating good food, not able to travel and having to pass up all these opportunities related to my area of interests. In my mind, I had to ask myself "What am I really doing?"

I'm already set internally to the point where FEELING GOOD is not a motivator at all because I'm always feeling amazing for the most part. An I've yet to internalize doing things for the sake of personal growth. What actually has kept me going for now is the fact that I try to see how much fun I can possibly have in 1 day. Everything that happens in that day is just a byproduct.

P.S...There is a drastic change of experiences due to this state of mind as many more women are attracted and I do absolutely nothing. Bottle girl, go-go dancers, restaurant hostess, random chicks, etc all have been fascinated by me. I'm the only one that downplays myself and RARELY APPROACHES. If I planted seeds 7 days a week for a month, my life would be on a ridiculous level. I can't even imagine if it was a month straight going to the best night venues. I'm implementing the habit of always going out and continuing the be the way I am since its starting to produce amazing experiences and showing lots of potential possibilities.
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Distant Light

Distant Light

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 2390

FR: You Can't Deny Truth
Its now a fact, if I go to the top clubs exclusively, I'll be hooking up with hotties ONLY. I can honestly say I'm now beginning to trust myself as all the concepts I've been mentioning about have started coming together...
- ZERO GAME: "Letting my presence handle everything"
- Focused on having as much fun as possible
- Solid Interaction MYTH BUSTED
- Being the aloof "supermodel"
- ACTUALLY APPROACHING will lead to a life beyond my imagination

I didn't want to write this report because I've completely stopped with all the community BS and just be how I want to be. Thing is I actually only approached 20mins at the end of the night hahaha. Majority of the night, I just stood on a sofa acting like a retard and laughing a ton. Basically, I had 2 chicks rolling with me which first venue (top spot) were charging my girls who didn't have cash on them and then the other venue (my fav top spot) wouldn't let me in with those chicks. In any NORMAL venue these girls would be above average...

Third top venue is a charm as the doorman likes my "look" and lets us in. The promo girl likes when I come out with her because her table always has fun when I'm there. Well, ain't shit change, I was on the sofa almost all night acting like a dumbass, our table was looking hot and at one point a friend of promo girl says...

"You're my favorite character at our table, your so amazing"
It's about 5 girls and 3 guys (including me) acting like complete idiots, I noticed EVERY tall hottie that I was aware of, was focused on me. Where I was positioned it was almost impossible for any chick to meet me, even my 2 girls I brought had to interact from afar. Finally, I come off the sofa standing outside of our group an instantly women are just looking and wondering. It's about 3am, I did ZERO APPROACHES...

I've finally stopped thinking about approaching and sex because subtly it makes it seem as if we approach in hopes of trying to get some sex. Sex is always their, its a byproduct of having fun and flirting. On the flipside I had TWO ISSUES, for the first time I have a pimple on my dick that fucking hurts and my jeans pockets had something in it which now when I sweat a ton, you can smell a whiff of a bad smell. I feel like those hipsters who don't wear deodorant. (I washed my jeans assuming it was just dirty, I was wrong)

So my 2 girls leave, I PURPOSELY stand in an empty area just enjoying myself and next thing you know this black chick shows up next to me. I do abit of "homo erotic mating dance" and its funny to see ZERO GAME in effect because this chick gave me a BS name and then just dropped it, telling me her real name. In less than 2mins she was stating something about "Coming back to her place". All I know, in my mind I interpreted it as HER basically stating what my next move was going to be. However, she was SHOCKED and SURPRISED to realize I wasn't like any guy she's ever met.

My Qualification - Who & How I am
So I basically am laughing alot because I know 99% of women have never met a guy like me because how many men can say they truly don't need women and feel awesome almost 90% of the time. I simply let her know upfront that I'm all about having fun an saying "Yea, I'm not some fag, I love hot women BUT I could give two fucks if I have sex or not." I then use my first true ROUTINE for the 3rd time since I learned it thursday. (It's super congruent to how I am) She like a friend of a friend were fascinated by my outlook. She began talking about all the creepsters she met an how it's all the same just a different face, all they want is to GET SEX. 1min in I had told her to take my number an 4mins in I told her again to take my number and hit me up whenever she's up for adventures. After her realizing I was like nothing she's ever seen before she proceed to TEXT ME at 5am after observing the last 15mins she saw of me. Which as she stated when I said goodbye "You're so full of energy, your a terror, I like you".

While chatting her I had pointed out a TALL (6ft) euro hottie who was moving very feminine and stated that I like her energy. She just so happen to end up infront of where I was 3mins later so I said "I'll be back" and BOOM I'm on this chick hardcore, its intense, so intense that the whole venue is now looking at me and her interact. This turns into "Homo erotic mating dance" which in less than 2mins a 2nd hottie (not tall) opens me by coming between both the girl and I so now were sandwiching this 2nd girl. Out of NO WHERE a 3rd hottie (tall) shows up and the black chick is in awe at how fast shit just went down.

Everything else was the usual, "take my number" which she went to go get her cell phone and put my number in her phone, then took a pic with me and gave me her facebook details. While she went to get her phone I had #closed the 2nd hottie who approached me too and got facebook details. After I left, ALL 3 chicks texted me and as of right now (3:31pm) the tall euro hottie texted me again stating to please add her and how she wants to hang with me. (I haven't responded to any of her texts)

The Lesson

I'm stating this because I was recently posting on main forum about how SOLID INTERACTIONS are BS and how I am now (and becoming) is more amazing than 2008. I've lost MANY WOMEN in the process of exploring these states of being but to me I finally don't give a shit because hooking up with a chick plays no significane in my life at all. (Like I stated in "Money Over Bitches" progress report)

The only missing piece is to get myself to socialize at the level I used to socialize way back because if I did that, my life would be INSANE. Imagine each time I roll to a top venue I meet atleast 15 of the hottest women. Within a month, I would end up only being around gorgeous women and everybody would be beggin me to come to their venue to hang.

It might sound wierd but I use my internal feelings as a compass as I'm now aware of when I'm express clarity in my intentions...

Putting Things In Perspective

This is the last photo of a chick I know that I'll ever post because now I'm beating a dead horse. I just wanted to put in perspective, what I consider "hotties" which generally is a tall high fashion eastern european looking woman. Other types I like are lil firecrackers, (flawless skin) tall nubian black women, high fashion plastic chicks, and now big booty latinas hahaha.

I'm ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS stating to bring the women you find attractive into your life and stop wasting time settling for average women. It also makes you stop thinking of attractive women as DIFFERENT because the only thing different about the women you truly like is the fact that EXTERNALLY that is what you find attractive. I'm so indifferent and not needy because when I take the subway or hangout in the daytime I have absolutely no desire for the average chicks I see roaming around. Even if they threw themselves at me I wouldn't waste time hooking up with them since that time could be spent giving a hottie a chance to meet me. So...
2.  LIVE LIFE, focusing on the areas of interests
3.  Don't buy into community beliefs, come to conclusions based on your own experiences
4.  Don't focus on any 1 specific girl, focus on the process of meeting new people and probably hooking up

P.S...In the course of writing this, I finally texted her which she immediately texts me to come to the beach and sends a picture. Only thing I'm thinking about is "Yo, if you plant so many seeds your life would be UNREAL". If I went to the top spots for a month straight I'd end up only hanging out 2-3 tall gorgeous women EVERYDAY.

QUICK EDIT - This is hilarious because black chick just texted me "It was nice to meet you. Ur a total wierdo, but I love it". I was spot on in my statement about her never seeing a man like me before. I can't be categorized because my whole outlook is UNIQUE and built of personal experiences and the usage of MBT book which helped shape my reality.
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Distant Light

Distant Light

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 2390

FR: Sucking On Fake Tits!!!
Fun night, got to drink champagne... (Which means I got abit tipsy/drunk)

Basically venue we were at was SUPER DEAD, like 30ppl max, I just focused on being a retard, didn't care about anything although I ended up approaching what looked like 19 yr old models. It's funny because in reality these chicks need to DEVELOP more feminine energy and bitchness as I find them to kid-like for my taste, nonetheless their attractive. In my mind, I can't see myself wanting to passionately ravish these type of chicks, but they're fun nonetheless. Later on I end up meeting this short chick with fake tits who eventually she straddles me and I'm sucking on her tits in the middle of the club. Keep in mind the club is empty, she wants to know if I'm gay, tells me she's bi and demands I take her number. Then I go back to sucking on her fake tits again...

I bounce because I want to go to one of the top venues, like SUNDAY, so I go to that same venue, its the doorman and BAM I am in. Its funny how rare this is for community guys but being a social dude goes a long way because this guy literally had bouncer lift the ropes for ME at 3am. I'm inside and TALL CHICKS!!!!! Instantly I work the room an in with these 2 blonds, then end up in a 5set and then a 2set with bottle buyers. I slowed down after realizing the hottie I was looking at was a bottle girl.

Eventually, I end up opening a mixed group of 3 hotties and 3 cool ass dudes. All 3 chicks were 5'10 an ended up making out with each other, they gave me free drinks and then I met the new women that were showing up. Also I met this other 5'10 chick who I #closed an just named "Girl" since the exchange was sloppy. After their was a chick who I think wanted to get pulled by me, 5'10, TIGHT BODY. However, one of the dudes ends up escalating an getting no where which INSTANTLY HE STOPS ESCALATING. It's as if he learned from me as he didn't try anymore and actually left to go hookup with one of the other hotties. Meanwhile a chick came up to me saying I was cute and amazing, but I didn't stick around to take her #.

I bounce to try my luck at another top venue but no dice and then other top venue was dead so went home. In my mind, I wanted to settle for a 3some with fake tits and her friend BUT I am in the "building an empire"mode where all I care about is meeting hot women to roll with me and being in the best venues. Sucking on a pair of nice fake tits from a highly energetic chick was just a bonus... :)

Also earlier in the night I got approached by this ballet-like chick who tried to kiss me. Seems like ALL women that I do "Homo erotic mating dance" to try to kiss me. Tomorrow I gotta post my new gameplan that's been in effect...
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Distant Light

Distant Light

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 2390

FR: What a wasteful night...
It didn't occur to me until later that I should go club hoppin...

Came out late, looked around venue, stood in an empty area and started acting foolish. Before you know it some russian chick shows up, which call me delusional but I SWEAR she purposely stood infront of me. I forget how I actually approach her, maybe a smile and just clawed her in. Now "take notes"...

I straight up tell her
"I know you purposely stood here, hoping to meet me...You have a euro vibe"
*Spin Her Around* "Well, you got eastern european energy...Pri-vyet"
"Welp, your not russian"
"Haha, I am, was just acting like I didn't understand"
"Hahaha...Wow, you like have this all planned out, your trying to kidnap me to moscow..."
"In your dreams"
"Huh, its ok, you never know I might be down...When do you go back? An you currently live where?
"Shiiit, so basically your taking me to brooklyn? I might be up for it..."
"No!! I'm taking you to moscow and you'll love it, all the beautiful girls"
"Who knows, maybe I'll let you take me home with you"

At this point she said something about kissing which I was already going to kiss her anyway so we start making out. However, about 1min later her friend who was with this guy mix knows didn't like her interaction with guy mix knows so she had her roll with her to bathroom. Thing is, my girl stopped, looked at me in a "Come with me" manner. Honestly, I wasn't willing to go and she might've taken that as me not interested. She met a different dude in the night and I let it be.

Meanwhile, I'm with this mixed group of 2 girls and 1 guy, a random chick approaches me saying "OMG, I know you, we danced on a table together at xyz club". I just crack up saying "its possible". Around the sametime their are FOUR 5'2 lil firecrackers who the hottest one smiles at her friend an motions in a "OMG that hot guy is so tall". I feel like a dick because I didn't even chat her an she was in different parts of the club watching me. Later on these 2 chicks were all on me BUT with their bfs. The girls would ignore their BFs an focus on me, once I noticed the BFs though I chilled out an let them be.

Around this time, I should've bounced to my new fav high end venue and just meet hotties, instead I chill and end up meeting another promoter guy. (I think I meet 1 promoter a day now) Russian comes back, she's heading out soon, turns out she's with her friend and 2 orbiters. I tell her to take my # an hit me up anytime. She then kisses me goodbye haha. The hot ballet dancer I met the day of polish hit me up wanting to know where I was, she was at a different club so I didn't even respond.

Main reason I posted this was because I wanted to show how easy it is to simply put sex on the table. All I did was ask questions an accuse her of trying to win me over. Women will try to reframe BUT their frame is generally weak so they buy into it and no longer have any TOOLS to play games because all women are used to men chasing. Other reason I posted this was because the position of POWER/CONTROL that I was coming from. She knew she had no influence in my choice and everything I did was so non-chalant and not needy that she knows she can hit me up whenever for some fun.

P.S...I later on saw her makeout with this other guy which kinda made me have that urge to start whoring it again where I'd just be complete filth doing whatever with all sorts of women with complete disregard of whether or not the other chicks can see what I'm doing.
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Distant Light

Distant Light

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 2390

Expect a sick report tonight... :)

Rollin with gorgeous tall chick (pic few posts up) and gorgeous ballet chick. There will be a few others along which means I will be club hoppin to all the top venues!!! Was speaking to mix briefly an mentioned the hotties are the only chicks who consistently interact with me. All the random average/cute chicks that I happen to meet here and there tend to fizzle out very fast.
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Distant Light

Distant Light

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 2390

FR: No Epic Night :(
My girlies flaked, ended up with Jared! & a new guy a friend wanted me to show the ropes...

The venue I was going to head to, I bump into CC which I call her out on her behavior the other day. This dude who mix assumed was banging her was their BUT he's a friend for sure. For some reason she is loving my presence, wanting to kiss an be all over me BUT I don't kiss her. I told her she lost tons of cool points. We dip to another venue...

In the other venue I end up bringing in 3 chicks an #closing, show new guy "just having fun" as I just interact with different people. I might've met about 15 people that night, but nothing I was actually attracted too or could bring to actual high end venues. Jared! tearing it up as usual (before we went in the club he had a chick on him hard) an I start having the new guy start the approach, instead of me introducing him. Ended up getting this black chick with fake tits number, I think she was expecting me to pull because at one point some drunk guy started asking shit which I said "were married" and she starts going indepth about us having an open relationship, which I'm kissing her on the cheek while laughing. The 3rd chick I #closed is a girl who tried blowing me out by saying "I'm with my gf" but I give her shit for thinking I am some random dude that wants to bang her and how "Yes, I like beautiful women BUT that doesn't mean shit, they gotta be cool and I don't know you at all". All in all she says I'm a smooth talker (lies!!!) and I #closed an kiss her.

Yea, yea, yea more stuff happened but its a waste to talk about since it has nothing to do with building the empire nor messing with women I like. Probably 4 chicks I truly liked, 1 I #closed, 2 I met but disappeared from venue, and last was toursit in a 6 group leaving sameday. As you know, I'm so money oriented right now...

I will say I notice I'm very blunt and straightforward in an almost confrontational manner. This all stems from the whole "Aloof Supermodel" way of being because it's like I'm always thinking "Yea yea, I know you want me, what else is new". Douchey, fuck hot women use it so why can't I take it from them and use it. At that point they don't got SHIT...I noticed women change their tone instantly when this happens as seen with chick I #close and kissed...There was a TALL 6'2 chick walking outside who I approached an persisted due to her ignoring me, I sorta had a "Really!?! Do you know the opportunity your about to pass up? You love living a shit life that lacks excitement? REALLY!?!?" demeanor. This chick opened up ever so slightly saying "I'm trying to get out of here" hahaha. From complete ignoring to slightly talking.

Gotta keep connecting the dots until the whole train moves smoothly...
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Distant Light

Distant Light

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 2390

Progress Report: Sea Of Uncertainty
First time in a long time I'm all scattered...

I've been lacking that killer awareness that I used to have when it came to "What I'm going to do", and it's been showing as I've sorta fucked up on pulling colombian, brazilian tits, and a handful of other chicks in the past week or so. It just feels like I'm rusty on being aware of certain situations and possibilities sitting infront of me. (3somes, Quick Pulls, Bouncing, Potential New Chicks, etc) Wanna know my #1 problem...

I remember recently stating to someone "There is no game, it's all in your head" and I know for a fact this shit is all in my head because its not actually approaching that is the problem, it's my thoughts behind approaching have turned into bad assumptions and beliefs. So when I think of approaching, I sorta have a negative outlook which causes me to not wanna socialize.

Concluded this on saturday when instead of just having fun and helping others have fun, I sat at an empty table away from the crowd just chillin. I don't think I've ever done that before, its only when 12 bottle dudes showed up close by me I thought "Ah fuck this I don't want to be standing with 12 other dudes".

I already know all my problems stems from me no longer proactively approaching. I left that club, met mix because he said the DJ was sick, so I stood right by the booth. Majority of the night was me chillin with the DJ where I met the DJs friend and two cuties. Some chick later on says she knows me (I honestly don't remember any woman) and even funnier a chick sorta approaches me, only for me to realize her friend KNOWS ME. Long story short, this specific chick actually had my number, I mistakenly kissed her friend and lacked the awareness to either go for the 3some or pull #chick since I started flirting hardcore on her. (She was feeling abit sad that she didn't get selected by me and instead I kissed her friend)

Second Opp, was mix's 2 girls who one of them he kissed. He introduced me but I don't even talk to them, instead meet a new bottle client who gives me a bottle of champagne. For about 20mins, I was acting like a TOTAL DUMBASS, to the point that mix's girl actually loved me. While pulling, mix's girl was joking on me, implying that I was this...

"Champagne loving douchebag who just enjoys himself wayyy too much", it was obvious she liked me but that's mix girl so I didn't push anything. On top of that the friend liked mix so I kinda shouldn't have been in this picture. Surprisingly in the car I end up in the back with the chick who likes me and were just having a blast.

Presence/Aura/Energy/Depth, whatever you wanna call it...
Honestly, anyone who asks me if I am good or have any game, I'd say NO since this is the main reason why I even have any experiences with women. For some reason women do alot of subtle to obvious things in hopes that I'll chat them. I can't explain this at all but it's very fucking obvious everywhere I go...

While choding in 1st club on saturday this thick white chick simply stood in front of me an was sorta trying to move until her ass bumps me. She would keep moving back as I moved away, an I could tell she was trying to keep moving until finally she is touching me. Your reading this thinking this is just some random small detail, OK read on...

SUNDAY, not one, not two, but three, but FOUR groups of women all did that same shit while I was just standing around. Do you wanna know what I was thinking while this was happening. "Why the fuck are they standing in my way? I want space!" Like a fag, I have limited myself so much with my own BS that it didn't even occur to me to chat these chicks or the fact that they were simply trying to get me to start talking to them. Random detail? Hell no...
-  1st group was these 3 chicks, a very energetic asian in the group was really trying to get me to join in. Imagine being a ref during the "nice clean fight" bit, they were facing each other and I was the ref. They were less than a foot from me an was moving seductively, looking directly at me. Do you think I said a word, um no.
-  2nd group was these 4 black chicks, they looked like they were waiting for something fun to happen, I was just laughing as I know what I'm capable of. For a good laugh I start doing a little something an instantly the chicks are looking in my direction as in "O shit this is our opp" but I just stop and eventually walk off since its getting crowded.
-  3rd group are these 2 chicks who I don't even know WTF they were trying to do but they were speaking to each other prior and then started dancing around me giggling. It was so obvious, an this time I grabbed the chick pulling her crotch to crotch haha. I also start messing with her friend, but all dies down once they're guy friends finally enter club.
-  4th group, was actually just 1 HOT IRISH chick was was so fascinated by me. She was doing the same shit as  all these other chicks and it got to the point where I had to speak to her. Back in the day, I'd just go for the makeout as I did end up kissing her BUT instead I was just prolonging the whole interaction for no reason. (usually I'm playing around which is why I generally prolong it) This is when my whole belief-trap of "approaching" showed its true colors because my headspace doesn't even have approaching in its decision space. I think she reopened me 3-4 times in that 5mins span before simply walking off and eventually leaving the venue.

Proof Is In The Pudding...
I easily dropped the ball with brazilian fake tits, colombian, russian on thursday, tourist on friday, #chick on saturday, and Irish on sunday. That's 6 women in the past 9 days, an I'm not counting the other women who obviously wanted to meet me. Which I'm refering to this lil firecracker thursday who sorta motioned to her friend "OMG, taaaaall black guy!!!" and on sunday this thick russian looking chick who is looking DEAD AT ME for 10mins. (Her friend was looking at me too while she was with this guy I know, somehow I came up in the convo as the guy pointed at me after her sorta making a comment about me)

Thing is, beyond the obvious attention I get, internally I'm dysfunctional. I can't even manage the women that I know, I'm VERY VERY VERY rusty when it comes to integrating women into my life. An if the system isn't running smoothly then ain't shit happening besides alot of train wreckes and opportunites fucked up. Thankfully, I know more opportunites are always waiting to happen, although for awhile I didn't feel abit of a wakeup call after realizing I just passed up on 6 attractive women who were all abit different.

Tough Love
I really gotta get my shit together as I now start to see the unstability, simply put a few chicks actually hit me up wanting to know what I was up to next week. I couldn't even effectively deal with that, an thinking about all the stuff I got going on in my life has me thinking "Fuck, I should just go to sleep" since that's my way of escaping everything. I've been bitching out hardcore when it comes to everything and when it comes to progress since 2011, ain't much changed besides me becoming more or less worst. Atleast in the past I was aware enough to put sex on the table and just do it...

To be frank, its time to stop fucking around an produce some serious measurable change. I swear it's like I'm just sleeping through 2011...
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Senior Member

Join Date: 02/25/2008 | Posts: 229

 damn bro, i didn't know you knew how to write... I thought only pimpin and dancing :))

step it up; SHOW INTENT AND JUST HAMMERTIME....we are developing something special in nyc
Don't be WEIRD. Join the Nathan Crew HERE!
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Distant Light

Distant Light

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 2390

Jared! wrote:
 damn bro, i didn't know you knew how to write... I thought only pimpin and dancing :))

step it up; SHOW INTENT AND JUST HAMMERTIME....we are developing something special in nyc

Hahaha, lots of behind the scenes stuff I never really talk about in real life, especially all the spiritual-like stuff I'm into. Like you said though things are going to get insane soon. For most part, it feels like I'm slowly learning to have multiple intentions all at once, since generally...
-  I'm meeting women to bring out another time (Non-Sexual)
-  I'm meeting women to bring out another time an potentially select (Sexual)
-  I'm meeting bottle clients to make more money (Non-Sexual)
-  I'm trying to select between 1-4 women who I'll allow to take me home that night (Sexual)

For awhile, it was just too much for my ADD self to handle but lately I've been getting better.

FR: Gambled and lost
There isn't really much to report, I just want to mention why I don't approach anymore...

I assume everything I do now is try hard and that I shouldn't do that. Before this BS, in my mind everything I did was an expression of me, there was no such thing as me being TRY HARD. An it's obvious this is BS because basically nothing happens since any action I take, I'd consider try hard. Of course, next time I'm out were going to smash this BS out of my mind.

It's incredible how the mind works, as I simply stood in this club that had an insane ratio and basically didn't even approach despite the usual looks. Instead, I wanted to bounce to one of the top clubs an continue building "facetime" with the doorman. Well, I got in only to find out there were tons of bi-sexual looking dudes. Imagine me and a girl with tons of tension, if you look around there are about 10-15 weird emo/hipster/scenster like dudes who all look gay surrounding you. From their, I try to bounce at 3:30am an get into the other 2 top venues in the area, of course I don't get in.

This feels like "exploration of consciousness" all over again as I try to discard all the BS in my mind to make myself clear. I didn't approach assuming every action is try hard, however I did approach when mix told me I need to bring some girls to the line. I easily, met 5 girls an ended up giving one of the women my #. How I am interacting with women isn't the problem, it's freeing my mind to allow me to actually just go through the process.

Samething happened on sunday, although I never mentioned it. When I first entered the club, I tapped this GORGEOUS RUSSIAN asking her something because I needed to know. This chick lit up an was ready for more, however I wasn't even thinking about actually interacting, I just needed to know some logistical thing that was going on.

P.S...Nothing fancy needs to be done to hookup with women, I'm very minimal. However, it seems lately in my mind I interpret even the most minimalist thing as me being try hard. Like I stated before, I simply fucked up about 6 easy pulls in the past 10 days. I don't care about the fuckups, I care about the fact that I'm making my mind get the best of me and simply squander my potential. The war and campaigns to take out my ego/fears/beliefs/assumptions is going to commence. 

P.S.S...On sunday, I almost didn't go meet Jared as I got home super late and champagne induced coma. However, for the sake of destroying the BS in my mind I decided to get up and get ready no matter what. It was the best choice I made in a long time. This was the same effect as I simply almost didn't go out and all of a sudden said "Fuck this lets just go out". So I left at 11pm an due to shitty transportation ended up commuting a total of about 5 hours. (More commuting time than actual club time)
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