January 20th, 2019
Distant Light "Socialite & Spiritual Monk"
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Distant Light

Distant Light

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 2390

FR: Ain't Shit Anymore
I've gotta go on a whole next journey uncovering the BS...

It's obvious now that I've fallen into some form of belief trap because shit isn't how it used to be at all. Things are terrible now and either I'm lazy or highly fearful of the collapse of my reality. Either way one of the two is signficantly slowing down my progress. This past week was 100% unproductive, there was nothing that was a step forward in the general direction...
-  Chick from monday (swedes/norwegians) ended up coming out saturday through another guy. I don't know how to get in chicks who aren't 21 so didn't text her back. See her in club, I'm looking wondering if I know her while she's trying to sort of escape before I noticed. Later on she's at our table so I joke around abit and then meet her again later on. Overall, I know were never talking again. Maybe it's all in my head but I viewed tonight as the last time I ever interact with that chick.

-  Russian/Italian, since I met her at her store has been DONE. Maybe I make too much assumptions due to retarded community shit, but personally I don't even think about it because she might randomly text me again like many women in the past. I tend to love putting myself down, than giving myself props. (I don't give myself props for anything now that I think about it)

-  Friday & Saturady, nights with lots of people. I met almost NO ONE. It was bad enough that I was waiting an hour or so for chicks outside in the fucking cold like an idiot. Chicks I brought out last night can go either way in terms of coming back out and late late in the night some chick showed up who possibly wants to get fucked by me. (She was willing to leave her friend and pay 20 dollars, so I assume its to possibly hookup with me)

Saturday, isn't anything to talk about just same all BS of me not really doing anything. My interpretation of my interactions is FUCKED...

This is how I know the problem is 100% me caught up in some form of belief trap that I don't even notice. There are like 30-40 chicks in VIP barely any guys, every chick I interact with feels wishy washy. It's not the chicks fault because this happened FIVE TIMES, including the chicks I brought and this model-like chick who sorta approached me. She was real into me but I know I clearly fucked it up because something isn't right about me anymore.

On another hand it might all extend from LACK OF FOCUS...

Only when I'm annoyed do I have this amazing clarity of focus and shit gets done. This is why I secretly used to like those moments. Reason I pooint this out is because I said no more homo erotic mating dance and it's as if I never even mentioned it. I was buggin out with the 3 chicks whoe came out with me. Even worst is at a certain moment I REMEMBERED not to do it anymoe but its like it didn't register because in a split second I forgot and kept acting retarded.

MEANWHILE, like all the venues dudes are all over making out, it's like a movie watching every corner and nook with people hooking up. Although, I never assume they all pull because past experiences have shown those who makeout makeout makeout generally don't pull. It's the ones who makeout for abit an just go for the pull that ends up pulling. I watched one guy makeout with one chick, another girl cameback and he madeout with her too infront of the other one.

Overall, I'm running in circles right now, I've become aware and need to drop out of that neverending tail chasing cycle. I think I'm like a month in now and feeling like a dumbass because all I've been doing is prolonging the inevitable life that I'll be living. Yea, I had certain physical stuff that caused a few hiccups BUT internally I don't even have my shit together anymore to even produce such a reality and it shows right now.

TONS OF WORK TO DO, I need to tap into that focused state of mind...
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Distant Light

Distant Light

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Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 2390

Hahaha, I didn't mention to forum I actually was wearing glasses that night... (Mix told bouncer I'm samuel L jackson's little brother"

P.S...Didn't get to see the hot super model chick BUT when I showed up mix was in vip area with shitloads of chicks. Bouncer wouldn't even let me in because he was told "No more guys" when there were like 6-7 guys max.

I've gotta unlearn so many things....
-  Stop making assumptions
-  Stop having expectations
-  Stop ignoring the small steps that lead me to where I'm at

It feels like I lost steam as I disliked this week of unproductivity. My fantastic assumptions that generally are ALWAYS wrong and the stupid big epxectations I have for myself. For instance, I would assume some guy living it up is consistently experiencing such things which isn't true, meanwhile I expect myself to have tons of women before I even begin having a n amazing social/sex life. Ignoring the small steps doesn't help either because I'm left thinking "How is this even happening?"

Today CC wanted to know if I was heading out since I'm always out on sunday, she actually had a date and was going to meet me later but I told her I'm staying in. Reason I was staying in was because of this past weeks performance which should have ZERO influence in the actual processes that I'm trying to implement. Instantly I remembered MBT saying about high risk results but ignored it since I NEVER am grateful for the small successes only the crazy memorable experiences. Like all those who must suffer the logical consequences for not continuing to grow...

Tonight, THREE different chicks were hitting me up wanting to know where I was at. Reason I overlooked such things is because I always underrate and ignore the small things. Insight on the BS I'm talking about....
-  These 3 chicks hit me up but in my mind I can't even understand how its possible because I keep assuming my social network has to be HUGE in order for anything to begin. It might sound extreme but due to knowing certain lifestyle gurus are connected to about "3,000" people causes my dumbass to assume my life starts when I'm connected to so many people.

-  Another reason 3 chicks hitting me up didn't seem possible is because I haven't met that many new women. This weekend was completely unproductive and last weekend I was giving women the wrong number. When I got my cell phone on, I started from scratch, not once did I even say to myself "I'm moving closer and closer in the general direction" each day. In my mind, its as if every human being could easily go out building a whole lifestyle from scratch at the same rate and I even assume that they are doing it when in reality no one is doing what I'm doing. (All in my head)

-  I currently know about 30 chicks right now, in my mind I assume every human being could easily go out building a whole lifestyle from scratch at a much faster rate and I even assume that every human being out there is actually building there lifestyle when in reality almost no one is doing it especially at a fast rate. I know, I'm going at like 10% of the rate that I know I could be going at. This whole thought pattern is one waste of energy, doesn't help me at all and is completely fiction.

-  Swede & Italian kinda made me feel like it's how I am now that caused us not to mesh well. I don't really like how I am now which is why I accept responsibility for those two situations. Lets face it, I've gone back to closing off and hiding my personality. It just so happen that both cases when we interacted again shit didn't mesh too well for whatever reasons. Main reason why I bring this up is because STUPID ASSUMPTIONS that I make, makes me assume that I need to plant a vast amount of seeds because I'll be losing so many in the cracks when in reality it's BS. I'd only be losing about 20% of women through the cracks due to not meshing well. Naturally I'll filter out those who don't fit my criteria, but in no way has my first hand experience painted the possibility of it being mandatory that I plant a vast amount of seeds just to get by.

Pending "The Challenge"...
Since it seems like this is my biggest problem I decided once I get my battery (Ships this week) I will conduct alittle experiment for 7 days straight...
-  Focus 100% on the processes I want to implement (Ex. Waking up at 2pm, going out at 4pm until 4am)
-  I'm not allowed to make ANY assumptions
-  I'm not allowed to have ANY expectations
-  I must remain a detached data taker and just let the 7 days play out
-  There won't be any analysis until the 7 days are up and then I'll evaluate

Reason I need to do this is so I can crack down on the horrible conditioning that are unprofitable. Exploration of consciousness keeps uncovering that I have many horrible assumptions when it comes to overall life. The amount of shitty beliefs are vast and it's funny because I only uncover it due to all the stuff I do revolving around personal growth. It makes me realize the average person has lots of "junk" going on that makes their reality fuzzy and retards their progress.
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Distant Light

Distant Light

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Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 2390

OR: Got Pissed, learned lessons
Man o man have I started coming back into my own...

So I have cell battery so I can go out in the daytime, problem is I rarely see tall attractive women. I purposely filter for "High End" venues that way I don't have to deal with door BS. Last Friday doorman seen chicks unattractive friend an had them pay but not before looking at me saying "Its fucking disgusting" hahaha. I've always wanted to maintain standards for this reason (saving people embarrassment from stupid "smoke/mirrors" dynamics) and so I have "social power" in the sense that I can call my price/perks/freebies due to people depending on me.

Daytime I seen about 2 chicks who barely made the cut of being tall attractive euro-like women. Don't get me wrong there are lots of women around BUT as a person who hasn't been out in daytime in probably a year or so and goes to above average clubs "its fucking disgusting" being out in daytime hahaha. Most don't make the height cut, if they do they're big or unattractive. I looking for quantity of the quality.

From 5pm to 12am I was out, I coordinated with CC so we can hit a high end spot. However, things turned sour quick as my NEW boundaries roared up an I basically had it. FIRST, plan was to meet guy we know 1230 so he walks us in, CC is moving so she's packing shit. I text saying I walkin there in abit but get a response that she's meeting one of her girls at 1am. I am starting to freeze so I chill in TACO BELL. 1am coming around I tell her where to meet me...

All of a sudden she texts "can't you say xyz at the door?" I misinterpreted this in the wrong way because she was semi-joking but I was annoyed as fuck because fri/sat I spent most of my night outside waiting for chicks. I just text her implying that the business model is bias to have women in order to attract rich guys, while I might be able to get in regardless having attractive women is always good. Then I just say "whatever ill just chill where I'm at" and go dead air...

She starts texting about 5 times, I don't even respond. I just walk around abit enjoying a dead manhattan at 1:30am. It was liberating not to continue with the same bs way of being as I refused to just meet and go into the venue. Reason being, its just a venue with hot women, venues are only good because I am there. 90% of the time a place is only fun because of the energy I add to the overall room. I started to understand that I wasn't missing out on SHIT. Passing up one day to a high end spot makes no difference on a larger scale and it was more of an opportunity to grow because I am back on that "fuck you, I live my life and your welcome to join". I'm not missing out on ANYTHING whether its potentially messing with a chick or going to some hot venue.

This experience brought me back to that uncontrollable guy again who isn't influenced by women. At this point "German Judgment" has come out again and I could give 2 fucks about which chicks want to hang or not. At the end of the day I will always have an amazing time others being apart of that plays no role in how much I fun ill have.
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Distant Light

Distant Light

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Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 2390

OR: Paradigm Shifts & Banned Cold Approaching
This night went from good to super bad...

So I am out early around 5pm on the train buggin out listening to music. I look like an idiot and it occurs to me that...

Most humans are pussies

We all live in fear, which is why we act proper and civilized. It was so clear looking at each person on the train that we all do play the game of constantly running and hiding from our fears/ego. Our day to day life is spent in a comfy, secure safety bubble which we can hide from all the things that might uncover what we fear.

This gave me freedom again because it made me remember humans won't do shit they're too scared to live. Knowing is the first step because right after I get out train I see about 30 decent chicks who could roll with me. I talked to ZERO mainly because of texting people and ranting realiations to a friend.

The night was consisting of a re-grand opening of a high end venue, I invited chicks had 1 girl already with me. Inside I go to VIP area where I am already ready to rumble after early paradigm shifts. This short hair cutie and long hair blondie, its ON but fucking vip bouncer tells me 3 times to stop chatting/flirting with all the women. I tell him that I do this so they all have fun or else they'll just get bored and leave the venue. He counters saying I must make them see available so the bottle buyers can potentially approach and hookup. So basically by me owning I intimidate those who spent thousands from potentially meeting a hottie and hooking up.

So, I had to stop everything I was doing and just stand there in the moment. I wasn't pissed just laughing an saw this as an opportunity to experience not doing anythin. Amazingly chicks were all looking at me, hotties, heck even the owner was looking wondering who I was. The short hair chick tapped me wanting to flirt again but I had to say "I can't play right now because I'm working" It was sad and funny at the sametime because she was trying to get me to hookup with her hot blond friend.

As I stand around listening to amazing music...
- Tall women passing by constantly
- 2 russians is dancing infront of me, turning to make sure I looking and dancing some more
- 2 gorgeous looking women on 2 seperate occasions are just looking in a "come meet me" manner
- 7 chicks at our table having a blast an 3 of them encouraging me to jump in the fun
- This one chick touches my hair

I can't do shit, an in the end from what I seen none of the bottle buyers in our general area pulled. Heck, not even makeout. Don't get me wrong I seen other dudes pulling but our area NO not 1 person. Meanwhile the owner and one of his partners had legit HOTTIES I'm talking 6'2 eastern european women. Owner has dated some of the victoria secret supermodels, but his indian partner had the gorgeous young model-like chick. All I could think about is "that's me if I stick to all this".

Journal Change Up
Each day that goes by, I no longer want to post just provide updates and realizations. Don't think ill be posting much about what actually goes on because its too related to my overall life now. Everything has really become a philosophy and way of life, some of the chicks I hang with could basically write articles on my way of being. EVERYONE knows I cold approach, the women I like, etc.

Ill probably give updates twice a week, 1 about weekdays and 1 about weekends...
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Distant Light

Distant Light

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 2390

FR: "High Risk Results"
***Final Report***
This is the last of it, I've changed courses and it's time to let this area go...

FRIDAY, was a huge smack in the face as it turned out to be one of the craziest nights in a long time HOWEVER the stage/props were all sponsored by mix meaning it was his girls and connections that made this night possible. Basically I ended up on the sofa going BONKERS with about 7 asian women that mix brought out. One of my swedish girls showed up, I was in the moment creating so much chaos that when she came over while I was on the sofa I went in and just kissed her on the lips. Later on we bounce all the asian chicks to go for after hours, as it turned out the guy mix knows OWNS A RESTUARANT. When we get there he ends up cooking (Place is closed its 4am) some amazing gourmet-like food that was good. Did I mention the whole night I was SOBER (thurs, fri and sat I was sober) which I haven't really done in a long time.

The girl's were drunk before we got here so when the owner offered champagne I being theonly sober one was given a whole bottle of champagne for myself. When the girl's left I hung out with owner, some chick and 2 gay guys who basically has LOTS OF PULL in NY. It was interesting hearing about the gay guy's rap sheet and the other one who talks about the celebs he dislikes. He was giving me advice on the direction I should be heading since he is in PR. The whole night was amazing, but to me it was just a big spectacle to show me that I need to crackdown and focus 100% on building this lifestyle. Thankfully this was just one angle...

Saturday: Operation Wakeup Call
I'm not sure what happened, once I hit the venue I was in this "I don't want to do anything" mode where even playing around alone felt forced. Mix is doing well as he got a nice diverse group AND he also brought out this highly feminine euro chick who was on the pillar moving so elegantly. While standing an just observing everything I noticed a HUGE girl to guy ratio. I'm talking there were probably 30-40 guys and 100+ women. I could've cleaned up if I had started working the room BUT I don't do shit. Even when more of mix's girls show up I don't really do anything with them.

CC ends up getting bounced to KnF she's been partying since 3pm at NY infamous brunch parties so she's drunk. I'm in no state to interact with her, she's trying to change my state dancing all provocatively BUT she can tell I'm faking it hahaha. She then tells me she wants to get this guy who likes her to buy a table at one of the hottest clubs so she can bring me. So I stick around, I'm in VIP area of club and start playing with this blond chick who gets real into it. It's then I realize a pattern...

I leave CC with some table dude as the whole bounce to top club wasn't going down since her phone died. Go back to our table an for a moment I am being ME and I just stroke my hand down this chicks arm walking by and BOOM were interacting and I #close in less than 3mins. For like 1 song I actually having abit of fun which causes this brazillian chick to come by where I'm at. I ended up #closing her. It was starting to be like clockwork...

Then I just went home, what's sad is that the whole time I wasn't doing anything there were these 5 chicks around our area who were eyeing me the whole time just hoping I'd speak to them. They weren't bad chicks at all, but I wasn't in no state to even chat. This was the complete opposite of friday BUT more productive as I met 2 new tall chicks. It then hit me that I WASTE too much time having fun and playing that I should just cut out all that UNPRODUCTIVE PLAYTIME.

I should be strategically meeting specific people 24/7, kinda like how this one promoter who enters a venue, brings his group to a table, has a 5-10min party moment, makes his rounds in the room and then hops off into his ferrari to repeat the same 30min to 1hr process at another venue. If I'm partying hard having a blast at the table, yes all the women will have a blast and potentially comeback out BUT I don't meet anyone new and I don't meet new people at a faster rate. So now I don't even want to party on weekdays this week, only meet women during daytime for the week and see what's up. Overall, I'm balancing myself out by getting abit more logical and straightforward with my processes since I'm generally NEVER logical which could explain why I lack focus. The past few weeks I've become more and more focused.

Why I'm finished posting in journal?
I'm still having to unlearn alot of community BS that doesn't help me at all. How I am makes me feel like I have one foot in and one foot out. I'm constantly teling myself retarded shit based on community beliefs/dogma and it annoys me now especially since I sometimes fallback into looking at my life from a "Community" perspective which is HORRIBLE for me. The times I do good is when I'm just BEING the me that I know and love, and I totally forget about the community bs. I have a similar problem when I look at other people's lives which I'm slowly starting to learn to NOT focus on anyone's life besides my own.

Also at this point the vids I've been recording I can't really post on here. Too much info is written in this journal, thursday's experience made me realize alot of stuff I will have to keep quiet on. Like one of my nightlife mentor's stated its an 80 hour a week process, you have to live and breathe this, you have no personal life. I feel this whole month was an opportunity to see if I'm willing to just LET GO and just live this 24/7.

What do I mean by "Annoyin" community perspective?

The constant thought that you need to TRY to get something or make something happen. I'm always constantly reminding myself "If you let the processes run themselves and just let things unfold shit will happen". For instance right after I posted this, some chick from SF texted me that she booked her flight to come back to NY for a month. If I'm just planting seeds without TRYING to do anything, things will happen just. My personal expereince has shown that nothing EVER goes well if I TRY. As I just typed that I remembered a part in MBT that now makes sense "Don't try to do good, just BE good". In this case I just need to BE and let it all unfold instead of TRYING anything. If I want to change then just BE DIFFERENTLY. However, it's easier said than done because I still from time to time fall into TRYING mode, although I've got much better since I now focus 100% on using my experiences as the conclusion of what is fact or fiction. Community helped me, but its time to let go of this tool...
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Distant Light

Distant Light

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Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 2390

Yea, for the most part I'm trying to drop most of the community BS because it fucks me up when I want to focus on the big picture. I feel the community focuses too much on the 1 on 1 male/female interaction, when I personally don't care about any specific chick or where the interaction goes. So longs I'm planting seeds, living it up and having the option of sex.

At this point, after those past 3 weeks of unprductivity (1wkend of giving girls the wrong #) I really started working on cutting out any unproductive play. Saturday in less than 10mins I met 2 new women, if I just met people 24/7 without thought things would build rapidly. However, I still fallback on community shit from time to time thinking about banging specific women and analyzing irrelevant BS. I'm so used to focusing on the overall picture of having many options and just letting everything unfold.

I wanted to start going back out everyday again starting today BUT computerwas messed up and I spent all day trying to fix it without losing everything. It feels as if I finally have fallen back in that mode of just being how I am and letting the story unfold for itself. I wanna go back out again and just nonchalantly plant tons of seeds.

BTW, the night mix speaks of was highly favorable for him, funny enough I actually have recording of the so called "10" who caught my attention when I saw her dancing, it was ironic that a few mins later mix is helping her get down as my mind instant went "O shit! Mix brought her?" (Mix, I did see that short hair asian in the white jacket making out with some dude and a few other girl's you brought out) There were lots of chicks mix knew that were out to have fun. One chick in particular (Holland's blond friend) was looking SEXY in her leather leggings. Did I mention 20mins after that "10" was dancing she met a dude who was with her all night and was fooling around? Now I wouldn't have hooked up with her YET but if I had met her, I would've been flirting hard. By time we reach uncontrollable levels I'll go back to whoring it with all the women since the checks will be coming in consistently anyway.

P.S...Spring template is solid hahaha, that fucking angus burger is GOOD, looked up the menu it's 28$ at his restuarant. Also, since I won't be posting much anymore I wanted to leave this thread with a few entertaining vids...

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Distant Light

Distant Light

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 2390

Hilarious, mix sorta got banned and requested to have all his posts deleted...

FR: Rehab Times!!!!!!!
Yea, yea I know I wasn't posting anymore but it's just habit as I always write shit in my phone, why stop posting if its obviously helping others explore and improve there own lives? Anywho, partied too hard, almost died of dehydration...

Main reason I wanted to post is because I'm reading MBT for the 3rd time and discovered lots of things especially the realization that I MIGHT BE STUCK IN A BELIEF TRAP. I started applying stuff once I started rereading the book because I wasn't liking how I was, it sucked and it was obvious that something was limiting me. The truth is...

So what I realized is that whether I was in my home, train or club I was feeling and being the exact same person which ment I was almost 100% focused internally on myself, which explains why I never wanted to interact with anyone because I was so caught up with myself. At the sametime, in MBT they talk about how interacting with others you see a reflection of yourself and the other person sees the same. Which would mean, if I'm being me rolling up on a chick they would see an aspect of themselves in me.

The other irony is TRUTH, it doesn't lie, you can't deny the truth and the truth has been saying over and over that I am fucking awesome. This isn't delusional, it is FIRST HAND EXPERIENCE. What I'm saying is that its so subtle that its like instantly healing a broken leg haha. Almost every chick I met fucking LOVED ME.

I can't even breakdown the night it was just abunch of chaotic mess, ended up getting maybe 4 chicks #s 2 were tall russians BUT all 4 chicks were pretty tall. Also another chick mix told me to approach who was HOT with a hat, I rolled up on her parting the sea and straight stripper-like she's got her on my thigh already and I'm about to kiss her. However, friend jumps in an cblocks I don't care at all I'm not missing out on shit. Overall, its messy as I hold one chick, interact with one to the left and then some chicks run up to me to the right. Next moment, I acting as if I'm walking down a runway slapping chicks ass as they shake it infront of me. (They were on sofa)

NOTE: Reason I think I did good is because I didn't plan on writing about any of this, from most community guy's perpective it would all look dancing monkey-like because I'm having a fucking blast BUT I dont' give a fuck if anyone considers dancing monkey, that's how I play and it works for me. Lots of chicks wanted to meet me, lots of chicks opened me and lots of chicks got to interact with me briefly.

I was dehydrating so there was no thought of pulling any of these chicks although 1 of the russians was SO FUCKING DOWN. At the sametime one of my girls who always shows up BUT I never see inside was there , I think she wants the dick which is why she always hits me up wondering where I'm at. Other russian chatted me outside as I was dying she was laughing at how low-key I've become that was due to me really feeling sick. Inside it looked like I was just having a blat grabbing people, yelling, and always smiling. She introduced me to her attractive sister and friend, NICE.

Lessons Learned
I need to stop denying the truth an just accept that I am awesome and just enjoy it. Majority of women LOVE me and really really really want to meet me, I can't tell you how many women instantly light up by me just looking at them, almost like they're saying "Finally!!" The only thing holding me back is myself because all I have to do is just keep interacting and I'd meet TONS OF PEOPLE. Imagine meeting a new chick an most likely getting her # for future adventures every 5-10mins from start of night to end. Not any random chick BUT strategically hand selecting which ones you'd potentially add to your life.

MBT, is really helping crackdown on my bs and get baack on track, lets go!!!

P.S...Also met this guy on train who says he's seen me in this 1 high end spot a few times, turns out this guy goes to EVERY HOT SPOT and also knows one of the club owners. He likes girls so we will have adventures together and I'll bring girls so we can hit those spots. Also 3 guys who bought tables through mix ended up pulling 2 chicks, the guy is obviously used to this as it ended up being lightwork for him. (A decent brazilian with great body hahaa)
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Distant Light

Distant Light

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Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 2390

FR: Waste Of Human Potential...
Here it is a guy who used to be in acting school, a guy people said should get into modeling, a guy who's partners basically state "We came to an agreement the other day, we love your energy you get the girls going" and at the end of the day the only thing fucking him up is himself...

Proof is in the pudding, yea people fucking love me, yea women like me, yea yea yea at the end of the day its obvious that I'm in my own way. At this point I don't even care anymore as I know I'm a "Closed Off" douche. I'm like those fucking hot bitchy chicks who make it seem like you have to meet them through a friend of a friend. I have become so fucking closed off, I know this because when people try chatting me I'm alway locked up giving this very indifferent look. However, watch me alone in my house, train or a club I'm smiling/laughing and having a blast ALONE.

Reading MBT, I had discovered beliefs traps I had fallen into but now its so fucking obvious how much I've limit myself. A few examples...
-  Blond chick on street, I'm with my boy just cracking jokes and AS A JOKE I approached her. There was no way in hell I would've approached this chick because I'm so closed off nowadays that it doesn't even register to talk to anyone. I forget exactly how I wanted to mess with her BUT next thing I know we had a solid 30sec interaction that resulted in me taking her #, she texts me later saying her friends are going eslewhere but she was down for meeting up ALONE. (WTF!?!?! Chick wanted dick an all we had was a 30sec interaction, I actually told her don't bother rolling with me since where her friends were going was a better spot anyway, despite me knowing anywhere I am is the best place)

-  Ended up meeting CC for abit so she could eat, its funny watching her constantly imply that I should fuck her but I want no parts anymore. She's always wanting to pay for everything and when were in the taxi as she heads to some high end spots she lies in my lap legs all on the window and shit. My dick is basically on her head.

-  Enter venue women all around I am oblivious LOOKING AT THE FUCKING CEILING hahaha. I'm not doing much, eventually I meet some of mix's girls who I interact with like MYSELF. Mix wants me to bring some girls to the table BUT while making rounds I can't do shit, its so obvious. I approach 1 chick who is receptive BUT in my mind I'm so closed off that I just assume she's closed off too and I walk off. (Reflection of yourself, in 3rd person it would've looked like I just passed through to make a comment and kept it moving never even stopping)

-  I'm about to leave but mix has more girl's coming, one of the guy's we know spots me and calls me over. That's when he mentions the whole "we love your energy" speech about how girls fucking love me and they love having me around. He mentioned for me to bring my girls to his table BUT I have zero girls out, I hangout playing around with one of his girls SHE LOVES ME ALREADY. Starts shaking her ass to show me that she can't move it, we mistakenly kiss, play in her breast region, etc. She declares that I'm amazing, I don't want to bang she has her ass all on me. Finally mix girls show up, who are fucking screamin my name.

Eventually I make it home, this one chick who always shows up where I'm at during 2am wanted to hookup BUT I was too lazy to go about 10 long blocks to where she was. The thought of sex is just tiring as I'm already tired so I always out. I also think I bumped into aussie BUT I'm not really sure. Some guy also approached me mentioning that he thought I was an artist or something. Overall the typical shit of people thinking I'm amazing BUT in reality I imprision and waste all my potential.

Honestly, I can't even mention a recent night I actually went around socializing. I do specific approaches here and there BUT I haven't actively went around just tearing shit up in a very very long time. Nowadays, I'm lucky to meet even 10 new people...

P.S...This is no biggie, I'm slowly but surely cracking down on all this stuff. It's so obvious if I got out my own way I'd me way more people than I could ever actually keep track of. It's not like I'm all logical in my head either, I'm generally having a blast BUT meeting people just isn't in my decision space at all anymore for whatever retarded reasons. (Mainly me being closed off)
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Distant Light

Distant Light

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 2390

FR: Huge Lesson Told Me "Bring It Back"
This night is so ironic, on thursday night I had written a progress report but didn't post it since it wasn't finished. I'll post it on sunday an update it abit based on what happened last night and what will happen tonight. Huge lessons were learned that changed me, lets just say I think I've truly fallen out of the belief trap...

"You look like a homeless" - Mix
That's right, not only did I leave my house reaching the venue at 1am, I didn't even bother to get ready. Usually (before the facial hair) chicks used to sometimes think I was a model. (no I don't think I'm good looking) For the most part I've always remained consistent with it for the past few years BUT the state of mind I was in was very "bum" like so I figured "Fuck my hair, fuck contacts, fuck being slightly well put together." (I always purposely look abit fucked up or rugged) An so...

I wore a skully covering my hair, glasses, a black t-shirt that gives a sorta "Fight The Power" feel to it, taped up N stapled up belt, jeans that have 3 HUGE holes at the crotch area. (Only thing keeping it together is that main piece at the crotch area in all jeans) I was looking like a "struggling artist" in my mind and heck some gay indian dude on the bus was gazing at me so yea.

1am Venue Time (I was only in the venue for 2hrs)
Fuck warmups, fuck momentum, fuck sex, fuck socializing, just go do whatever you want in your playground. I roll in this place an "WOW", the way the lights flashed, the way the venue is setup and the way all the women are positioned if I was back in 07 walking in I would've been so scared. Think of walking in a jungle like cave where perched on the rocks are lots of women and just a huge crowd as if it was a ceremony.

This '11, I've recently stepped out of a belief trap (Progress Report already written, will address it) so I'm hyped at the possibilities. I don't even go meet mix I just start buggin out from the start. There are like 6 chicks by me already, I then spot mix who tells me CC is here BUT I don't even go there since I'm bringing it back hahaha. Instead I'm having a blast with all the women around me, its funny because now everyone is just looking at me because I came out of no where and now all this excitement is in the room. (At one point I started flirting with one of mix's attractive asian chicks who he ended up kissing)

I'm not even in the venue for 10mins, forget how I meet this chick but she's passing through, I think I had my hand over her head in a circular motion cermonial style as I tend to do that. I commence OLD SCHOOL "Homo Erotic Mating Dance" not that douche shit I've been doing as of late, the one that orignated it all where makeout was guaranteed. Less than 2mins of knowing this chick SHE is kissing me, I state she did it because I playfully kissed her in the stripper-like manner for fun BUT then she kept trying to keep it going which we ended up making out in a rather poetic way. 1min later (3mins total) I put sex on the table SHE IS DOWN, in reality I wasn't truly down. (Progress report will give more clarity) I basically stated I might be down for hooking up an she was ready to leave right then and there. At that moment she assumed I was working at the venue due to me constantly grabbing different chicks while interacting with her so she tells me to finish work and then lets leave.

Right after she left, CC is leaving, she almost went right by me as I didn't notice her BUT I was grabbing/tapping everything that walked by just having a blast. For some reason were making out, no I still refuse to pull don't want to deal with it. She's bouncing to one of the top night venues as she's addicted to that place. At this moment its like 20-30mins an EVERYONE is just watching as if its a show because I must've met and flirted with about 10+ chicks, 2 who I madeout with.

FACT: "I am the party"
I don't hang at the table since its in an area where I can't get to any new chicks besides around our table SO I stand where people walk by and just enjoy my euphoric creations. I'm having SO MUCH FUN due to the lessons learned from the past few days, its so obvious things have changed because tonight chicks came to me like a magnet all I was doing was having a utter blast. This russian chick walks by, stops and comes back saying she likes me. This wasn't a homegrown russian that I like it was more russian-american, meaning she got the LOOK but has more of a figure. Her breasts were big she was revealing cleavage and her ass was nice in those leggings. (More glamour model build than high fashion, still tall nonetheless)

I will say I wasn't automatic though an this all still happens very fast that my mind doesn't process it...
1.  Russian came an went
2.  These 3 chicks spotted me an decided to come by me, very slim cutie I liked alot she was working to get my attention. I forgot to take the number and she prob felt I wasn't really paying much attention.
3.  Walked over to this chick who was with this HOT stylish chick, I go right in the middle of all 3 chicks an start grabbing one of them. The other 2 chicks POOF leaving me to have my way with her, however I just remembered I was going for the number and never even took her number. Instead, I told her where I'm at an she an find me later if she wants.
4.  Dropped down into the traffic area to get a better view at what I had to play with. Somehow meet some chick who's with 2 friends, next thing I know she is constantly trying to grind on me and were all over each other. My girl is SO HYPED to be having me, its funny seeing her tap her friend in a "sarah look who I got". However, I just stop after a few mins because...
5.  This black chick taps me just staring at me an finally blurts out "I wanna have fun" which clearly stated "I wanna get banged by you". It's normal for me to ask questions so I shoot 2 things then start flirting, I don't actually like this chick she's very short. Next thing her friend spots this an has a similar interaction like #4 "Sarah look" moment. I'm now grabbing black chick hair while having her friend who's also short get abit of clit stimulation. My mind was thinking 3way makeout BUT no way I was going to do that with two chicks I'm not even attracted to.
6.  This short haired firecracker type chick, filled with so much energy, sucks that it would be hard getting her into venues I tend to frequent because she is a nice little cutie. I didn't bother #closing her.

Interactions = Fun House Mirrors
To sorta foreshadow the progress report I wrote recently, I fully understood that when we see another consciousness being we project our awareness onto them and define them in terms of ourselves. They do the same which then presents a nice challegene/opportunity for them to discover another aspect of themselves. This is why people love spectating me having a blast because they see aspects of them selves while being aware of me. I state this because...

While having a blast a few gorgeous women were walking by who tried to ignore me BUT in less than a few secs completely changed. One chick I walked up to tapped as I saw she was tall, she tried brushing me off BUT I just clawed her an she lit up and started catwalking it with me in the direction she was headed. Another hottie who I saw at the last second was about to pass me so I started tappin her annoyingly while walking backwards as if I'm saying "stop, stop, stop" with each tap. Both girls loved it, another handful of women were met due to this same similar experience of them seeing an aspect of themselves which caused them to light up.

Hobo Girl
Were finally about an hour in, I stopped being a mad man for abit and then I saw her, this very cute hipster chick. This chick stood out so much due to her jacket looking like carpet, her messy 80s frizzy hair and wacky glasses. She was with a GUY but I didn't give a fuck I loved her look, it begin with me giving her a thumbs up and next time I saw her I pointed at her making faces. Finally I walked up to her an just said "Do you live in NY? Your still is fucking amazing, were partying again, #" An like that I get her number infront of the guy who turns out to be her brother. Now this chick is acting WILD, I love it, I won't bore you with details of the interaction though...

2hours have gone by, its cleanup time, I didn't get russians number and I wanted to bring her out again since tits is always an attention grabber. (I remember this one dude brought out this chick with massive fake tits in a corset and EVERYONE was just gazing and loving it) Just so happens as I was leaving she was outside on phone so I chat and number close.

How I look plays ZERO FACTOR in the responses I get. I will go so far to say how I look doesn't factor in the equation as to why chicks feel the need to approach me or gaze at me. I'm 1,000% sure that my intent directs the actions and feedback simliar to how I have no actual ROUTINE for being stripper-like I just let whatever actions come, come.

This is the first time I ever felt alive again, just being a guy having fun flirting with tons of women without a single care and doing whatever for the sake of fun. Lots of the stuff I do with women is really eye opening for them since they're not used to it. I remember a guy chatting to these 2 older women who I didn't speak to BUT knew they wanted to meet me. Some guy finally chat them an he was stating "Reason those guys aren't approaching is because they're actually gay". (How I dance can be mistaken for gay at times) Proof is in the pudding, end of night chick was sitting on sofa looking dead at me in a "Just take me" manner.

Most women never met a man like me, period...
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Join Date: 03/08/2011 | Posts: 58

Funniest part of the night:

Dude all alone, no one around, decides to bust a move on a wet floor and instantly falls on his ass HARD. Would have been the greatest infield video ever.
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