THE FORUMS
What does it mean to "try for rapport"
No prob.
Gaining rapport with people is cool (I mean hey -- we learn about social dynamics for this reason!) -- but generally people who TRY for rapport tend to have lower status, whereas people who have no concern about BREAKING rapport (in a super funny and amusing way that everyone loves) tend to have higher status.
Try to observe the behaviours of people who NEED more friends, as opposed to people who DO NOT need more friends. Notice what NATURAL human behaviour is like, in the absence of needing anything.
Doesn't mean you can't be a nice guy though. In fact I'd say that most high status people: when they're nice people appreciate it, because it comes across "genuine" and not wanting anything in return.
Tyler
Gaining rapport with people is cool (I mean hey -- we learn about social dynamics for this reason!) -- but generally people who TRY for rapport tend to have lower status, whereas people who have no concern about BREAKING rapport (in a super funny and amusing way that everyone loves) tend to have higher status.
Try to observe the behaviours of people who NEED more friends, as opposed to people who DO NOT need more friends. Notice what NATURAL human behaviour is like, in the absence of needing anything.
Doesn't mean you can't be a nice guy though. In fact I'd say that most high status people: when they're nice people appreciate it, because it comes across "genuine" and not wanting anything in return.
Tyler
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Oh I see, correct me if I'm wrong. So what I understand is that in a nutshell "trying" for rapport is demonstrating lower value by always needing that validation. So you can still have high value even if u ask questions (dare I say, even interview style) if you are coming from a frame of not neediness and breaking tonality. Man so then how does one "not" try for rapport? I'm guessing in order to not try for rapport you must have higher value in the 1st place. After watching tim's part in transformations I notice the tonality of people everywhere now. When I talk to some people (mostly chicks i dont know) i notice my tonality between neutral and high. and i know that it sucks and in my head im like damnit wtf r u doing fuking chode stop being a chode and change it but my tone still cracks and sucks. I also noticed in conversations it seems like im seeking rapport and when i try to not seek for rapport i dont say anything and it gets quiet. yeah..."i run out of things to say syndrome" lol. i heard what u said about this syndrome and u cant run out of things to say but I do lol. damnit wtfl, its very basic stuff but I guess everyone starts somewhere :(
"Never ask questions" seems to me like a retard way of communicating.
the best must be to have BALANCE between statements and questions (?). If you are curious, you naturally ask questions... dont think this is a bad thing :S. Being genuinely curious communicates good things about you.
the best must be to have BALANCE between statements and questions (?). If you are curious, you naturally ask questions... dont think this is a bad thing :S. Being genuinely curious communicates good things about you.
Those who try for rapport generally find an absence of rapport to be an intolerable state. That's because they're not firm in their own reality and need someone to set it for them, they need someone to tell them what the frame is.
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Needeing people to respond to you a certian way.
It can be SUBTLE AS FUCK....mine was subtle to the point i couldn't even tell i was trying for rapport.
just try to be cool relax....dont feel you need other people to respond to your jokes
when i dont try to be cool i am....when i try its like im not
weird...but thats the truth
It can be SUBTLE AS FUCK....mine was subtle to the point i couldn't even tell i was trying for rapport.
just try to be cool relax....dont feel you need other people to respond to your jokes
when i dont try to be cool i am....when i try its like im not
weird...but thats the truth
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"Girls are predominantly going for guys that are 'hot'. Hot is not good looking, they are different things." -10Pin
"At the end of the day I rather be hated for what I am then loved for what I'm not." -Kanye West
"Never ask questions" seems to me like a retard way of communicating.
the best must be to have BALANCE between statements and questions (?). If you are curious, you naturally ask questions... dont think this is a bad thing :S. Being genuinely curious communicates good things about you.
the best must be to have BALANCE between statements and questions (?). If you are curious, you naturally ask questions... dont think this is a bad thing :S. Being genuinely curious communicates good things about you.
Good advice here- Thanks
Forty
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Join Date: 12/03/2009 | Posts: 84