November 21st, 2018
BJR : Blowjob in Rapevan Again.
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Join Date: 08/12/2009 | Posts: 80

So I go out with fingerman.
I do my normal thing when i'm in a dance club.
I've actually started to enjoy the music and the atmosphere so I start dancing. I'm happy that i'm actually getting better at dancing.

However, this distracts me from hitting up the ladies... Unless they are close to me then I start dancing with them and spouting absolute nonsense at them.

Fingerman finds this one girl...

I say hi and we get introduced to each other.

I feel like messing around so I start a 3 way hug...

Me : I love you...

Her : lol

me: (Jeffy's Purple rain move) PURPLE RAIN.... (I'm doing the FULL purple rain... with real emotion put behind it.)

Her : Wtf.....

She starts getting attracted and we work on her.

Anyways... As time goes on her friend comes into the picture. We start switching off between them and the other friend starts chatting...
This comes to be just a little bit too much and they go back inside..

I hit up a couple of other girls and one of the stunners asks me for drugs. I remember her... I was dancing with her earlier and for the first time I actually feel like I can keep up with the girls that really know how to dance.

Stunner : Do you have any mollies? (Code name for pure MDMA)

Me : I can get it but i don't have any..

Stunner : I know you have them.

Me : What are you up too right now..

STunner : I need to get some mollies.

Me: Fuck that... I have all the mollies in the world.. but your'e not getting a single hit of jack shit.

Her : WTF

Me: Look, you and I... We need to keep in touch...

blah blah blah blah..

Basically i'm spouting absolute nonsense at her some more then she gives me her number.. Fair enough...

I tell fingerman that we'lre pulling these girls tonight no matter what...

We keep re-opening, coming back... re-opening.. I'm dancing... he's getting heavy with her.. we're dancing... he's making out with her...
I'm talking to the other friend...w e're dancing...


So we're basically stuck with one girl... That's fine...

Me : We love you... All we want to do is have fun and hang out...

Me : I live on an island... It has everything on it... I have an ivory staircase that is madef rom 7,000 elephants... You need to see this... I also have many different types of love involved.... We love different types of items and they're all there...

Me : We have to hang out... we're just going to have fun...

She's basically completely resisting this all the way through...

Finally, she agress to walk ujp the block for some "ice cream"

Me : Look, i found our ice cream.. It's yellow ice cream that has wheels (I hold my hand up to hail the cab)

This entire time i'm making sure to keep a group dynamic... The thing is... I'm down to double team this girl.. She's not a stunner so w/e fingerman seems like he's down as well... So i'm making sure that this whole thing stays as a group deal...

We go into the cab and Immediate makeout starts... I start to touch her vaginal area and put her hand on my penis... I then tell her to do the same with fingerman and he makes out with her as welll as i'm starting to rub her breasts and her vaginal area some more...

She gets out of the cab and stops at the bus stop saying that she needs to get on the bus and she has work in 5 hours.

Me : Oh yeah right.... look! ice cream in the van! van!

Fingerman and I are relentlessly Barraging her...

me: You gotta check out this car... we'll give you a ride home in it (Yeah right)

Me: Here... let's look at this nice van.

I open the back and we hang out...

she gets in

Me: It's cold it's cold close the doors.

Me : Oh this curtain helps with the harsh cold as well.. ( I close the curtains.)

Me: We just need to all hang outa nd have fun... Look... Little wayne is watching...

So basically she KEEPS RESISTING JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING. NEVER STOPS bringing up work this that, telling us she's not that kind of girl... asking us to open the door, going to the front of the van... etc.

Finally she gets in the front and opens the door..

I think to call this a loss but i'm not gving up...

I'm hammering nonsense at her again.. Fingerman keeps talking to her as well... We're just sitting here hammering nonsense.... 

Now... i'm not FORCING HER AT ALL. In fact the DOOR is OPEN and she's still sitting there... This tells me only one thing... She wants to bone..

She keeps saying " you guys do this every weekend don't you"

Me: no... no...

me : Actually yes... But the thing is it's normally one guy and one girl....

Me: We've never had 2 guys and one girl...

Me: Have you ever had a fantasy about that?

Me: We're not here to judge you..

her: Yeah right... Yeah i've had a fantasy like that but not with you guys.... Also, you're lying to me.


Her: Yeah... You think i'm stupid too..

Me : Oh really... You know what "hanging out" means right?

her: What..

Me: It means let's "hang out together and have a nice time where we get naked"

Her : Yeah I know..

Me: You think i'm just going to say "OH yeah... hey.. HOW ABOUT YOU GET SPITROASTED BY 2 GUYS AND RAIL IN THE BACK OF THE VAN" FUCK NO, I'm simply understanding that you understand what i'm understanding.. I can't believe you can come at me like that...

Me: LIAR??? I THINK YOU'RE STUPID??? oh god.... this is just bullshit... I can't even belive this..

I'm acting like i'm getting infuriated in a half joking manner.

Fingerman is doing his parrt aswell

Fingerman : You don't love me

Fingerman : This is Crap

Fingerman : I don't want too

Me : YEAH... This is nothing but LIES. YOUR'E THE LIAR.. I can't beleive you can do this to me... You know what fuck this i'm sleeping...

Her : Ok goodnight!  

She still sits there as i mock going to sleep...

I keep playing the group dynamic... She leaves for a bit and says she's coming back and leaves her jacket...

I tell fingerman that we're double teaming her for sure and that we have to dot his... He says that he's uncomfortable with trying to bang her here and taking his pants off and isn't sure that he wants to bang her in the rapevan.

I tell him that I understand and ti's fine... As long as when I take my pants off he takes his off as well..  He agrees.

She gets back in...

me: It's cold it's cold... close the doors..
Me: oh my god it's so cold we need to all lay down..
Me: the curtains are going to help again curtains are helping...

As she lays down I take my pants off, fingerman does the same as well..>

Next thing you know she's jerking both of us off...

I get sick of a handjob so i decide to step it up and put my penis in her face..


Ahhhhhh... relief......

I bust a nut...

Me: You have to make fingerman feel good too... LOOK.... he's sad.....

Fingerman is a little uncomfortable witht his whole ordeal so he says he just wants to go home... Even though I'M SURE she would've sucked his dick too..

Anyways..... The van gets more and more disturbing as time goes on....

Happy RapeVan Times.

P.S. remember guys.... When you gotta bust a nut... Just share the love....
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Respected Member

Join Date: 01/08/2009 | Posts: 540

Hahah this is probably my favourite reporty evaaa... I fuckin love the shamelessness.
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Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 8691

Damn, sounds like Fingerman was traumatized by this event.

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Respected Member

Join Date: 04/06/2010 | Posts: 410


Man, serious... the funniest thing I've read so far. Good job!
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Respected Member

Join Date: 04/14/2008 | Posts: 777

jlaix wrote:
Damn, sounds like Fingerman was traumatized by this event.

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Respected Member

Join Date: 11/07/2009 | Posts: 302

ROFLLLLLLLLLLLLLL this field report is fucking hillarious

"To accomplish extraordinary results always requires extreme measures. At least we're not girls, who have nothing but starvation and makeup to rely on to improve their odds." - TD (2002)

" just gotta realize that we are something entirely special. There are tons of attractive girls out there- girls know this, but guys like us are 1 in 5000." -Manwhore

Denver, CO
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Trusted Member

Join Date: 03/27/2009 | Posts: 2668

RSD should start selling vans.....
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Join Date: 01/22/2009 | Posts: 30

Hahaha. Good shit BP. I gotta see the van.
Live everyday like you were going to die tonight!
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Respected Member

Join Date: 06/18/2009 | Posts: 518

Hahahaha holy shit.

The Rapevan brings out the worst in people.
Part of the "living proof that no matter how much you sucked, you can become awesome" group.
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Respected Member

Join Date: 11/14/2008 | Posts: 978

 omg hahahahahha wow
"Fuck social conditioning and fuck what anybody thinks of you!" ~Tyler Durden
Rejection > Regret
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Trusted Member

Join Date: 04/09/2008 | Posts: 1502

Definitely one of the most enjoyable stories I've read.

Turd Battalion Eigth Marine Regiment....

I look up to the sky, And now the World is mine, Ive known it all my life, I made it, I made it!
I used to dream about, the life I'm living now, I know that theres no doubt. I made it, I made it!
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