THE FORUMS

December 9th, 2016
Shai's Journal (Pre-BC, Post BC, and Beyond)
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Shai!

Shai!

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/25/2009 | Posts: 181

RSDN,

This is the reaffirment of my journey.  When I first got into this stuff about a year and a half ago, I was a very different person.  Very shy.  Very broken.  Just very different.   Since then I have grown so much as person, and there are alot of changes I've made that I am very proud of.  I told myself then that I would get this area of my life handled, that I wouldn't let a girl be a thing of fear anymore.  I have made progress.   I'm certainly more social and outgoing; certainly more confident and grounded than I have ever been.  I've approached alot of girls in this time.   I'm also in the best shape of my life.  But for all the progress I've made, I'm also dissappointed in myself, because I know I've put in less than my full effort.   There are still nights I go out and do way too little, still moments when I cling to bullshit limiting beliefs, and still days I wake up alone.   I am capable of much better and I know it.

I kept a private journal when I first started, but there's something very different about posting each night's progress online to be critiqued and judged by others.  There is no more hiding, no more doing nothing and saying it's ok.  A chode night is seen by everyone.  It's my hope then that this journal will keep me on my path when things get difficult..

Oh yeah, and I've signed up for a bootcamp in Austin in May.

Let the journey begin...again.

Shai
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#1
Shai!

Shai!

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/25/2009 | Posts: 181

Friday, April 2:

Friends and I go to an area of the city we don't often frequent.  Not really our type of crowd at these places usually, but I get the others to follow me to meet up with another friend, and also because I'd be nearer to this lady I've been seeing/hooking-up with.  We walk around for way too long trying to find a legit place and finally settle on this dank and dark bar.  Downstairs is a sick DP (dance party), but it's like pitch black down there.  I probably danced with dudes and didn't know it.  When I was in college my friend and I exclusively did dancefloor stuff, but since I learned about PU I've really tried to drop it, but it's hard cause all my friends love it and spend like the entire night every night on the dancefloor, plus I'm a beast dancer.  Anyway, with the friends I am out with this night it is usually my duty to start the party so I claw an ugly stout chick and push her on my friend.  I think they makeout eventually.  Not positive.  I also opened these two girls dancing, one cute (maybe, really freaking dark in there) and one not.  The cute one busts on me about my age (girls alwasy think I'm like 18) and the other is just stand-offish.  I chat these girls for like 20 minutes and continually re-engage throughout the night, though it never seems on.  It's already getting late by our standards as we made it out late and spent too much time lost.  Finally I say no one leaves without talking to one girl, and begin the countdown from 30.  As my friends scramble I tap this brunette at the edge of a 7 or so set of friends.  She's def cute.

Shai: "What's up?  You're cute.  Who are you?"
Girl: [blank stare]

She finally mumbles her name in the most depressed looking way.  I bust her on it.  I proceed to talk to this girl for like 20 minutes too.  I've never talked to a girl like this before.  Literally she probably said all of like 20 words in that time, though she never walked away.  She wasn't being cold or bitchy or anything like that.  She was just blank.  I thought she was in a coma.  It was weird as fuck.  She said she was tired, which was probs a sign she wanted me to tuck her in.  Don't know.  Eventually my friends are tugging on me and I bid her farewell.

On the way home I get a text from the girl I've been seeing.  We had exchanged a few texts earlier and she tells me that if I want a place to stay I am welcome at hers.  Nice.  I ditch the friends and show up at her place.  I beat her by like 10 minutes and in that time a car of 3 guys stopped in the street outside her place.  They stare me down, then say "Are you going somewhere?" in a creepy ass tone.  "I am not going anywhere."  Almost raped.  She shows up and we go upstairs.  Fool around for a long ass time though I have somewhat of a whiskey dick.  We fall asleep and repeat in the morning.  I leave early to head home.  I hate sleeping in beds that aren't my own.

Saturday, April 3:

Just me and a friend this night.  I decide I won't text the girl from the night before.  Need to meet new girls.  The place we hit up is legit enough.  Mostly a chill night though as I was tired as fuck for some reason.  I do chat up a group of 3 amazonian women.  One's like 6'7" and I've seen her out before, and talked to her.  She seems to dig me as does her friend, but I out and don't really push it.  None of these girls are especially cute, but I always throw an attempt in for novelty purposes cause they're huge.  I eject on a high note somewhere and check the rest of the place out.  I see a cute girl who I think is a friend of a friend but I don't go up.  Lame.  Not much else this night as all the hottest girls were up dancing on the bar.  It's like the yellow tape outside a crime scene.  Hard to penetrate that scenario.

Some people count sheep in their sleep.  After lame nights like this, I count the days till BC.

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#2
Shai!

Shai!

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/25/2009 | Posts: 181

Friday, April 9:

Wasn't feeling great so I caved in to my friend's usual desire to stay in and chill rather than go out and talk to girls (which he doesnt prefer, haha).  So last night was all social times with the guys and one girl, who's already hooked with my other friend.  Awesome time overall, though I got way too drunk.  I feel like shit right now, so tonight I'll be going raw as we call it.  No booze.  I need to get used to this, not only for bootcamp next month, but for beyond as well.

I did get a late night text from the girl I've hooked up with recently.  For once it wasn't a booty-call text though it was at like 1am.  She wants to hangout sometime today, and probably wants a more date-like thing since every time we've seen each other it's usually a post-night hookup situation.  I told her maybe, but I'm not that thrilled with seeing her anymore quite honestly.  We'll see.
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#3
freshbit

freshbit

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/17/2009 | Posts: 180

 I'm about to start my own preBC thread, mate.

Tough times for us mere humans, heh?

Well, I've just had a pretty chodey night just now, but I've had enough good nights in the past to be more than sure this is totally doable. I shall now lay down and count my days 'till bootcamp.

Keep us posted!
__________________
Like the bald buddha-like english kid in The Matrix, I think it's not the spoon that bends, it's just yourself.

Pegar Mulher: http://pegarmulher.com
(pt-br posts on pickup)
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#4
Shai!

Shai!

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/25/2009 | Posts: 181

Thanks man.  Yeah, I definitely can't wait for bootcamp.  That shit can't come soon enough cause I really need to be kicked in the ass.

Saturday, April 10:

So like I promised myself, I did not drink at all tonight.  But like I feared, I let that ruin my own fun, as if I need it or something.  I've gone raw maybe a couple other times on fridays or saturdays (I used to do it always on thursdays) and those nights were all some form of shitty.  One I remember especially was a few weeks ago.  Went out, didn't drink, and got blown out of every set I did, probably like 10 or so, including one girl I had a super club crush on that I had really put myself on the line.  Depressed deluxe at the end of that night, though the next day I felt good about the action I took.  It was the worst night I had had in a long time, and my friend even said: "Dude I've never seen you get rejected so many times.  What the fuck?"

Tonight was even worse though, because this time I took virtually no action.  Talked with a few girls here and there and tried dancing with one, but none of them were actual appoaches.  I know bad nights are part of the process but there's no excuse for not trying.

Also, same hookup girl texted me throughout the night wanting to hang out.  I told her the bar I was at and she dragged her friend across the city to meet me, though we never crossed paths.

Later, while I'm getting late night food, she texts:

Girl: "Personally, I think you should stop over [at her place].  It's a quick walk, and it'll be worth it..."

I ignored.  Not only was I already beaten up by my chodiness, but like I've said, I'm not that attracted to this girl.  Kinda feel bad though, as she'll probably feel pretty embarrassed having put herself out there all weekend to no avail.

Lessons learned:
1.  It runs contrary to logic, but both of my two worst nights in a long time I was wearing new awesome clothes.  Complimented by my friends, certainly felt way cute, etc.  THAT SHIT DOES NOT MATTER.  To these girls I might as well have been the nerd with bottlecap glasses and a pocket protector.  Be the man and you'll get the girl.  Fuck what you wear.  I should go out in jogging pants or cutoff jeans.
2.  I never feel funnier or anything when I'm drunk, and def don't feel less funny or fun when I'm sober.  The difference though, is that when I'm sober in the club, it's like the curtain is pulled up on this weird-ass play, and I realize how freaking strange a bar is, like you watch the behavior and it occurs to you that these places make no sense.  That's the obstacle I need to overcome sober, to make it MY playground.  Don't look around at others.  Entertain myself.
3.  Signing up for bootcamp has had strange results.  When I first signed up, I felt empowered, like "Let me go talk to that girl.  It's nothing compared to what bootcamp will be like."  Tonight though it felt more like, "Screw this.  I don't need to try.  I've got bootcamp soon anyway."  This is the absolute wrong mindset to have.  If anything, the investment I made means I need to be trying even that much harder.  If I'm serious enough to drop several grand on a pickup bootcamp, then I need to be serious enough to take full responsibility.  It will not "fix" me, and If I don't use it, I'll lose it.  I'll be writing these same chode field reports a year from now saying I got robbed.
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#5
Shai!

Shai!

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/25/2009 | Posts: 181

Friday, April 17:

Strangely proud of myself about this night.  Was it great in terms of results?  Not really.  But I had some interesting headspace stuff going on.  First of all, I went raw again.  No booze.  I'm definitely trying to make this a "at least once a weekend" type thing, hopefully more.  I made a rule since my diet has been so crappy.  Either I can drink but can't get late night food, or I can get the late night food but can't drink.  We'll see how it goes.

Anyway, me and 3 friends (one into pickup, the other not, though def not naturals) head to the bar.  My one friend opens up a girl from a mixed group of like 4 people.  They end up chatting all night till she has to leave.  Bad logistics.  So it ends up being me and my two pretty chodey friends.  This has been a problem for me for a long time.  When I'm with friends that enjoy talking to girls, I end up doing the same most of the night.  When that's not the case I feel tethered to these dudes on the dancefloor who don't even dance with girls.  Frustrating.

So I chode around for a looong time.  When I drink, the night just happens.  I'm good or bad, pimp or chode.  But the night alwasy just happens, without much thought from me.  Sober though, when I'm choding around I realize it consciously.  At one point last night I actually remember thinking: "Fuck this.  I'm in a crappy state, but that doesn't excuse inaction.  No one gives a shit if you feel bad."  I actually turn it around, which would not have happened had I been drinking.

I approach a girl on the dancefloor.  Not even that cute but whatever.  She isn't down.  Who cares?  It helps.  I chat a few randoms to keep some momentum, I'm not even sure they were girls.  One girl I see checking me out.  She's dancing with a few girlfriends, but clearly would rather dance with my cock.  I keep partying with my friends for a few.  No big deal.  At one point she comes back from the bathroom.  Our eyes meet.  I literally point at her and proceed to walk the 15 feet towards her.  I don't normally approach like this.  She smiles though and turns her head as I walk. 

Shai: "Hey
."
[She turns]
Shai: "Let's go.  We're dancing."
[Grab hand and turn, expecting she'll follow]

She comes right along.  We have a good vibe going and I do alot of my normal dance routines.  Haha.  I don't have any lines, but I have dance routines.  We dance/chat/flirt for like 30 before one of her friends comes pissed off about something, possible being ugly.  My lady must now take her home.  I went in for the kiss once or twise as a tease mostly, which seems to work the same in spiking their emotions without having to be tacky.

My friend has now lost his lady, but we go around chatting a few people.  We end up upstairs and he runs into one of the instructor assistants for a competing PU company and a few of his students.  He actually took two bootcamps with them, a weekend one in Miami, and a full week in Austin.  We all chat a bit and the dude was pretty cool and chill.  But they end up going home before 2.  Eww.  Made me glad I signed up for an RSD bootcamp, but it also reminded me that no matter where you take a BC it's still just you talking to girls with a dude watching.  No big deal.  It's not like going to war or anything.

Me and my friend then talk to a 2 set of girls.  He talks to the ugly one, I the cuter one, but this girl is too drunk and I don't care for that.

Lessons learned:
1.  State doesn't matter.  Action does.  Take action and you'll feel better.
2.  Do it at the beginning of the night!!!!!!!!!!!
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#6
Shai!

Shai!

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/25/2009 | Posts: 181

Saturday, April 17:

Strangely awesome night.  Went to my friends place outside the city to pregame.  Just me and 4 other dudes and we have a blast, that is till my friend invites over a girl he's interested in.  She comes around 930, along with 2 girlfriends.  My friend introduces me, I turn around, and fucking shit, the girl is my ex's friend (the ex that started me on this journey).  All three girls went to high school with my ex in fact.  Awkward deluxe.  I tell my friends and they proceed to bring that shit up several times throughout the time we stay there, jokingly.  Thanks assholes!  It was definitely weird at first, but I think I handled it mostly pretty good, and her too.  The girls don't really hang out with my ex anymore so, who cares?  All they saw was me owning ladies all night.

The guys I went out with last night were all my natural friends.  They have no fear around ladies, get them all the time, etc.  I've noticed a massive difference in my own results when I hang out with just them.  Last night was no different.  This should stop mattering to me.

We get to the bar and I feel great.  My friend orders me a drink, per usual.  While I wait I turn to these two cuties next to me dancing next to the bar, a brunette and blonde.  I think I opened commenting on their dancing away from the dancefloor, or something.  They open up and I notice immediately that the brunette has a sexy freaking accent.  I cut her off mid-sentence.

Brunette: [blah blah blah]
Shai: "Wait!  Stop!  Where are you from?"
Brunette: "Hungary."
Shai: "Damn that's a sexy voice.  Are you guys on vacation, or are you here for the summer or something."
Brunette: "Yeah.  Through the summer.  We are here working."
Shai: "Let me guess...you're au pairs?"
Girls light up.

Every time I meet foreign girls here, they are au pairs.  We must have some massive au pair exchange program or something.  We continue chatting and flirting.  They were cool girls, but my friend and I get distracted or something and turn away.  Don't remember how this interaction stopped.

Anyway, still at the bar.  There is a group of 4 girls in a tightly packed circle talking about whatever just next to me/behind my friend.  The far one is a cute brunette.  She gives me one look...two looks...three looks...clawed.  I grab her hand and pull her through the circle of friends right up to my face.

Shai: "You're cute.  What's your name?"
Girl: [something, smiling].  "Do you always just grab girls?"
Shai: "Indeed I do."

We continue talking about random stuff.  I bust her on wearing a soccer jersey and being the wrong kind of spanish (the soccer loving spanish rather than the baseball loving spanish).  We have a good interaction but although she had a super cute face she wasn't that hot elsewhere.  One of my friends begins chatting her and I let him have her.

We go to the dancefloor.  I see a hot ass girl with some guy chodely dancing with her.  Clawed.  I ran the Rickey Henderson on that dude.  Turns out he's an acquiantance of hers so no big deal.  She's dancing hardcore on me.  I could tell that me stealing her really upped the attraction.  We didn't dance long but she says she has to go find a friend.  I whip out my phone and tell her to punch in her number in case we lose each other.  She does but it's a touchscreen phone and when she hands it back to me I accidently type another number in.  I ask her to retype it but she says "No!" smiling, and walks off through the dense crowd.  "Fuck!" I think, but then it occurred to me in my drunken state "It was the last number.  Just eliminate that number and you're good."

Later on I'm talking with some people on the deck outside and I see her talking to a guy.  I pull out my phone and call her.  She reaches for it looks at the number and I'm standing 3 feet away smiling at her.  She smiles and I go back in, and steal her away again, from the same acquiantance.  We actually talk a bit about me finding him a soulmate tonight (she had mentioned essentially that he was a huge loser, or at least still in love with his ex).  That dude walks off and some random engages me and my lady.  He proceeds to start chatting as if he has a chance with her.  These things always make me feel weird.  I don't like competing and I hate having to amog some dude cause it always feels reactive.  I just start talkign louder and steering the convo when all of a sudden she backturns the dude and says "Let's go dance."  Nice.  Girls have the best amog skills.

I lead her through the crowd and we have an awesome time the rest of the night dancing, chatting at the bar, etc.  I went for the kiss a few times early on but we never actually makeout.  She never turned her head but never put in the 1% that would have resulted in makeout.  That's bad on my part I guess, but I didn't care about the makeout and I think the tension we built was incredible.  I was neck biting her all night and she ate it up.  She had a sick body.  Most enjoyable to caress.  haha.

Last call, the bar is closing down.  She says she needs an atm so I walk with her out to one across the street.  She asks where I live and I say: "Too far, I'm gonna be crashing on your couch."  She doesn't seem about it though, and I clearly didn't have 100% belief, made it kind of a joke, etc.  Pulling is my biggest sticking point.  She hails a cab and I try getting in with her, but again it was half jokingly and she pushes me out before I can get in, kisses me, and says "You have my number, blah blah blah" and is off into the night.  Fuck.  I like that I tried, but I think I could have done it had I really pushed it.

I walk across the street and my friends are there to bust my balls.  "Awww, where's your lady?" etc.  Assholes.  Awesome night though.

Lessons learned:
1.  This shit is as easy as I make it.  It felt effortless tonight.  I was just a guy socializing, expressing myself.  I shouldn't let who I go out with affect that.  I usually talk to girls on my own anyway.  We don't really wing, so I need to syop letting the fact that I may be out with naturals or chodes limit or inspire me.  Just do my thing.
2.  Keep pushing for the close.  Mine lack intent and dominance.  No leading whatsoever.  Hopefully that will come with more tries.
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#7
Shai!

Shai!

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/25/2009 | Posts: 181

Friday, April 23:

Ugh.  Not exactly the
night I imagined.  I once again went raw.  No alc.  I'm gradually becoming more and more comfortable with this.  Gradually.  I'm def not there yet.  I guess this is a choice though, so I'll proactively try to smile more and just be loud and out of my head.  Another thing that went well: I hit up a set at the BEGINNING of my night (after pissing, but whatever, close enough).  That helped alot, though I didn't keep up the momentum.  I'm beginning to really see the value in builing momentum, especially through something like the 30 sec approach game.  I'd like to try to implement that.

Anyway, the first set was the one I remember the best actually, probably cause it went the best of all for whatever reason.  Cute girl dancing behind her friend.  She was scrolling on her iPhone, half distracted, half dancing.

Shai: "Hey!  What is this?  If you're looking for dancemoves, I'm sure there's an app for that."

She starts laughing.  I pull her in.  Done.  Her friend actually thinks I said that she has an "ass for that."  I tell her I don't know, I hadn't looked.  Push her away.  I proceed to eye her up and down, back and front, pull her in again.  "Yeah, sure does."  They both laugh.  Friend leaves to dance with their other friends.  Check.  I get playful with the girl, but it's my first set, and I'm sober, and definitely not sharp.  I even felt my leg quiver a sec from nervousness.  Lame.  I continue flirting though, and getting physical (talking into her ear, etc).  Right then we're like talking for 30 secs at a time, then dancing for 30, alternating like that.  She pulls away to put one lip balm.  She offers me too.  I joke about tasting like strawberries if I do.  This is still probably less than 2 minutes into the interaction.  I can feel that I could make out with her right there.  Don't.  I smell her lips and we're like face to face.  Don't.  Ugh.  She interrupts me mid-sentence to ask my name and what I do.  Check.  I continue lame bantering, and she says she has to talk to her friend.  Normally that's the "You're blownout" move.  But I could tell she actually went to talk to her friend a sec.  She still hovered like a foot away from me.  She didn't run away at all.  I could have reopened.  Don't.  Ugh.  They all walk off in a few minutes, and they leave actually.

I could have built up momentum from there, but did not.  I mixed in a few interactions here and there but not much over the 2 minute mark I'd even consider an approach.

Other things I remember...my perfect lady.  Tall brunette, cute as fuck (I'll always take the cutest girl over the most sexy).  There with only one friend, another cute brunette.  They see a couple guys they know, but they're chodes, although defensive lineman size chodes.  I tell myself I'll talk to her later when the conditions are better (I guess).  Later in the night I see her again.  Her friend is dancing with a guy she clearly likes.  She's dancing with a guy she clearly doesn't like.  Perfect steal scenario.  I hesitate like 1 minute.  1 minute!!!  I walk up, and 6 feet before I get there, she eyecodes this dude she's kinda been talking to, and he saves her.  Should have been me about 60 seconds prior.  Fuck.

Last thing I remember well...I kinda recognize this girl I madeout with and texted for awhile on the other side of the bar.  Didn't go up to her cause honestly, I must have been drunk when I met her.  Not that cute.  6.5 at best.  Anyway, I'm chatting with my friends and this hot girl taps me.  She says hello, and asks is I remember her.  I tell her I don't, though she vaguely looks familiar.  I already know why she's tapping me.  She is the friend of the not cute girl.  I let this come between me and the hot girl.  I could tell the hot girl likes me too.  She wouldn't have come up, and she wouldn't have been so pissed I didn't remember her exactly.  We chat for a few minutes, and I rele nt and say, "Alright let's go see your friend"  I grab her hand and she holds it and leads me there.  The friend is actually in the middle of a not convenient place to talk.  We say hello, and she tries to play hard to get or whatever by turning and talking to her friends.   As if I care.  You're not cute and I don't want to talk to you.  Anyway it leaves me and the hot girl in the perfect place to talk.  I do chat some.  Make her my bodyguard, etc.  The opportunity was there.  I know it.  But I let the fact that her friend likes me (and that the hot one would be stealing me from her) get in my way.  I was out of state by this time and I wasn't as hilarious or fun as I usually am.  I could tell it wasn't going that well, and she felt it.  Looking back, I did try, but I wasn't acting through my intentions.  I've noticed that my good nights are separated from my chode nights by 2 things...first, obviously action.  I take action on my good nights.  Second, directness.  My best nights happen when I go direct, state my feelings and intentions.  Not tonight.  When the hot girl came up and mentioned her friend I should have said, "Course, I'd love to talk to your friend.  But right now, let's you and I talk.  You're cute as fuck."  I know it would have made a huge difference.  I'm pissed about this interaction for those reasons.  Gotta show I have balls and dick.  I;m pretty sure I have balls and dick.

The rest of the night involved me taking care of my drunk ass friend, who was dropping girls on the floor and almost starting fights with huge dudes.  No approaches.  Had to drag him out of there early and end the night.

Things to remember:
1.  BUILD MOMENTUM.  Approaching immediately to start the night is useless if you don't continue.
2.  Go direct when you feel like it.  It should be done in every interaction where I believe it to be true.
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#8
Shai!

Shai!

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/25/2009 | Posts: 181

Saturday, April 25:

S
o this was a fun night out in terms of enjoying my friends and whatever, but definitely lame in terms of meeting girls.  I was originally gonna go into the city, try a bar solo for most of the night, and then meet up with the girl that likes me after that.  Turns out she's in Florida.  I contemplate just staying in or trekking all the way out there solo.  I decide instead to call up a friend who had invited me out and see if it isn't too late.  We meet up and head to this small college bar at a small local campus.  A friend of his invited him, as it was a benefit of sorts for cancer.

The place definitely had a college atmosphere, which I miss I guess.  I'm so used to the city now; the house music, the crowds, the girls dressed up all slutty or whatever.  It's all I've seen for like a year and a half.  This place, though, has a cover band and is just way more chill.  Not crowded at all, and most people seem to be in large social groups.  I figure I will just chill and enjoy the night with my friend.  It's a day off from worrying about approaching (note my very conscious choice of words).  There's a few hot girls.  Way less than I am used to.  But there are only two that really interest me.  One is a hot brunette who is there with a black dude who is clearly trying to get with her.  They dance up on each other occassionally but she is obviously not "with" him.  The other is her best friend.  Like last night, my perfect type, but even more so.  Cute as fuck, tall brunette; the type that just looks so genuinely sweet that you can't imagine she's ever "blownout" a guy.  I get a huge bar crush.  But I tell myself that in a place so small/undercrowded it will be weird or difficult to join these cliques.  There were no guys "approaching" here.

The thing about small places like this though, as I learn, is that that's what makes it EASIER to approach.  In places like this, everyone becomes like one big group of friends, one social clique.  It's so chill and small that everyone joins up.  The girl and her friend dance up next to me for like 30 fucking minutes and I do nothing besides just have fun with my friend.  The girl and I meet eyes like a gazzilion times.  Ridiculous. 

When I leave, something hits me.  I've been reading alot of field journals recently, especially Nathan alums.  Today I was finishing up Phred's journal (awesome journal btw, I have a ton of respect for him), and he talked about this girl he didn't approach and how he felt bad not just at himself for not taking that action, but genuinely felt bad for her because he didn't give her the chance to meet him.

I glossed over that when I read it, but walking out of that bar tonight it hit me.  We both missed out on a chance for an awesome connection.  Girls want to meet a cool guy just as much as I want to meet a cool and hot girl.  It should be win-win.  That's giving value.  I shouldn't have to "worry" about a night of approaching or not.  There are no nights like that, or not like that.  There's just going out, and proactively meeting those people you want to meet.  No worries.  If she looks cool, find out about her, see if she's worth your time.  I know that girl was interested in me.  Why else were we looking at each other?  Why else was she dancing so close?  She was as dissappointed as me.  Looking around that place, it was filled with nerdish lame guys and I know I stood out.  She noticed too.  Gotta help these girls meet someone like me.  Gotta help them meet me.

Things to remember:
1.  I wouldn't normally choose these little college bars over a night in the city, cause there are so many more girls in the city, but I need to hit these places up more.  Not only are they closer, quieter, and actually easier to work, but they're probably way easier for pulling too.
2.  Approaching isn't some rigid scientific thing to critique.  It's just guy meeting girl and finding out about her. That is, when I actually do it.

I guess I'm in a rut.  Definitely need a kick in the ass.
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#9
Shai!

Shai!

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/25/2009 | Posts: 181

Friday, April 30:

Did a handful of approaches, most of them weak.  No real attraction created, just some laughter or nothing at all.  Got the backturn of glory on one, haha.  No big deal.  I think I opened her real strong, BR, etc.  She turned, had a wide eyed look, then whatever I said next (don't remember) = backturn.  Nice.  Like usual I didn't approach the one girl in there who really really caught my attention.  I aimed lower for her friend, though her friend was still hot.  Also ran into my ex's friends again.  Bantered with them for like 5 minutes, and kept a watchful eye on them the rest of the night.  I know that's super weak, quite honestly.  I shouldn't care what they think, and what they see me do, but I suppose it's natural to want to look like a beast in front of them, especially since that's how it seemed last time.  Oh well.  I didn't give it a second thought after the bar, but in there it was different slightly.

Overall, my results and action have suffered since I stopped drinking in preparation for bootcamp.  It's been hard adjusting, and it won't be overnight.  Problem is I don't go out enough right now due to other concerns to really get myself accustomed and at home in the bar sober.  The last several months before quitting I felt great when I was in the bar all the time.  All smiles, etc.  The problem, though, now is that I go from logical work for 5 straight days to crazy bar environment friday night, and have no alc in my system to unstifle me, to make it normal to do what I want.  I try joking it up with my friends before hand as much as possible but the inner energy isn't there like when I drink.  Before I started this journal I was having much better results, and taking more action, but I was drinking too much.  I gotta trust that each day is a little easier.  I'll get there.  I know that not drinking is key to me truly conquering these lady fears, not only in the bar, but almost as importantly, outside of it in everyday life.  I have one friend who gave up drinking completely for lady purposes, and he said it took him awhile but now it's like nothing.  Soon enough I suppose.

Also last night was the first night that that girl who likes me didn't drunkenly text me all night.  Half her texts to me are drunk texts or apologies for drunk texts.  Not cool.

Back out again tonight.
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#10
Shai!

Shai!

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/25/2009 | Posts: 181

So last Saturday's report is lost to the world.  I went out, but I forgot to write up a field report, and have now forgotten everything.  Did do some approaches though, I just don't remember the specifics.

So tonight I'm staying in.  For the last 36 hours or so, my fucking wisdom tooth has been bothering me.  I'd say about 2-3 times a year it gets sore and the gums swell a bit for a few days, then it goes away.  But each time I'm a bit horrified that THIS will be the time it doesn't stop hurting and I'll have to have that thing removed.  I definitely want it removed.  I just don't want to pay for it, haha.  Anyway, it's actually annoying to talk, swallow, and eat right now, so I figured I'd chill tonight and not make it worse.  Bootcamp is next week, and if I had to cancel it to have some surgery I'd be beyond pissed.  That'd be alot of money lost on hotel/flight potentially.  I need it to get well.  I'll make a promise to myself to look into getting it removed sometime after...

Mostly though, tonight feels weird.  Provided my tooth behaves, this time next week I'll be in the throes of bootcamp glory, and all the excitement, fear, and ladies that entails.  My mind can't even grasp it.  It's gonna be a sloooow week.


I'd really like to go out tomorrow, to have one last night on memory of who I was before BC.  We'll see.
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