THE FORUMS

July 31st, 2014
how to not get too attached to a girl?
Your rating: None
Bookmark and Share
DavisBloome

DavisBloome

Respected Member

Join Date: 06/22/2009 | Posts: 471

hey, started seeing this girl. she's pretty cool, and i get the impression she likes me

the thing is in my experience, its actually quite hard to gauge how much a girl likes you, especially in the early stages. my problem is, i am rarely attracted to girls ( i mean not just physically) so when i do i tend to get attached quite fast, i think about the future etc etc which is kind of nuts really, outcome dependency

i know the theory, but i keep thinking about the future and basing my happiness on this girl, which is shit. does anyone else have this problem? i really dont want to get attached to the outcome. the best i can do is thinking about what tyler talks about in the blueprint about the many faces a person has, and imagine she like hates dogs or something ( i love dogs, anyone who doesnt is soulless)

Hector
__________________
In order to be succesful in life you need two things : Ignorance and Confidence

Mark Twain
Login or register to post.
#1

ChriSav

Member

Join Date: 08/15/2008 | Posts: 42

All i'm seeing is mental masturbation here...just take a step back and watch how shit unfolds while you live your life.
Login or register to post.
#2

Bzzza7

Member

Join Date: 02/21/2010 | Posts: 89

yeah, I know what you mean.

The thing is, DO NOT read too much into the interaction, and DO NOT see her as a win/lose opportunity. This makes you get stuck in your head and she will most probably be turned off by that. I'm talking from my own experiences here.

Wether she likes you or not doesn't matter. You can allways find a better girl! wink
Login or register to post.
#3
Macavity

Macavity

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/25/2009 | Posts: 2227

Bzzza7 wrote:
yeah, I know what you mean.

The thing is, DO NOT read too much into the interaction, and DO NOT see her as a win/lose opportunity. This makes you get stuck in your head and she will most probably be turned off by that. I'm talking from my own experiences here.

Wether she likes you or not doesn't matter. You can allways find a better girl! wink
Yeah i tend to read too much into an interaction so that i can see whats gone wrong and where i could have improved. Not that thats bad, but i realised that it tends to make me think about the girl a lot more to the point in which im valuing the interaction way more than what i did before i started to analyse it. 

Read some tolle. And yeah not seeing her as a Win/Lose is probably one of the best mindsets to have. 

Question is, how do you stop seeing it as a Win/Lose situation? 
Login or register to post.
#4
DavisBloome

DavisBloome

Respected Member

Join Date: 06/22/2009 | Posts: 471

Pirate wrote:



Bzzza7 wrote:
yeah, I know what you mean.

The thing is, DO NOT read too much into the interaction, and DO NOT see her as a win/lose opportunity. This makes you get stuck in your head and she will most probably be turned off by that. I'm talking from my own experiences here.

Wether she likes you or not doesn't matter. You can allways find a better girl! wink


Question is, how do you stop seeing it as a Win/Lose situation? 


hmmmm this is a good question.
__________________
In order to be succesful in life you need two things : Ignorance and Confidence

Mark Twain
Login or register to post.
#5
nestea

nestea

Trusted Member

Join Date: 03/21/2009 | Posts: 2279

Hector wrote:
hey, started seeing this girl. she's pretty cool, and i get the impression she likes me

the thing is in my experience, its actually quite hard to gauge how much a girl likes you, especially in the early stages. my problem is, i am rarely attracted to girls ( i mean not just physically) so when i do i tend to get attached quite fast, i think about the future etc etc which is kind of nuts really, outcome dependency


i pulled this from this website........i forget what thread:

you will never get girls consistently if you get in the habit of reading whether they like you or not.


and its true. and if you cant see that its true you gots some work work to do.
__________________
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/147107 < self improvement (2010-2012)
the universe shall giveth and the universe shall taketh away
Login or register to post.
#6

theuprising

Respected Member

Join Date: 03/04/2010 | Posts: 392

Meh I don't even have the will to hit on a girl if she is unresponsive and shows no IoI's. I don't know, my mind is like, "its too much work" and keep it as a filter against bitchy girls who's personalities I don't like, but I don't know if that blocks me out against several good catches. Damn, but how do you stop attatchment, you just have to tell yourself, "you will be you with or w/out the girl," and I know that attatchment HURTS MY CHANCES of getting a girl but my subconscious doesn't beleive it. Hmm I'mma try EFT'ing it away? Liking a girl helps give me motivation to get some balls and do the pua stuff but when I start liking her too much I start stuttering and fumbling.
Login or register to post.
#7
Jackson.

Jackson.

Respected Member

Join Date: 08/16/2007 | Posts: 317

Hey man, I personally believe the solution to this is abundance. Knowing that you have another lined up if this one doesn't work out is key, plus that needy outcome dependent feeling is unattractive, like EWW in the Blueprint. Keep going out and talking to girls while you are trying to tame her.
__________________
 
Login or register to post.
#8

theuprising

Respected Member

Join Date: 03/04/2010 | Posts: 392

 Ah ok I think i got it. I have told myself that I NEVER put myself on the line, all the stuff that comes out of your mouth is a reflection of your intent, and THAT'S your true self. If your intent is good, you're a good person, if your intent is bad, you're a bad person (atleast for that moment), clean cut, dry and simple. I have to detatch my self to thoughts, my physical body, and ALL things ego. If this girl can't see the beauty of my intent thn it was not meant to be and its probably for the better that I don't end up with her.
Login or register to post.
#9
fishbulb

fishbulb

Respected Member

Join Date: 04/27/2007 | Posts: 405

You know what you're supposed to do, but you don't know how. I'll tell you one way.

Fully engage
in something else for a while. Something that brings you fully into the now. Meditation, doing something that scares you shitless, or creative play are the best. When you come back you'll see her as an exciting opportunity for good times, rather than something you need.
Login or register to post.
#10
Macavity

Macavity

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/25/2009 | Posts: 2227

fishbulb wrote:
You know what you're supposed to do, but you don't know how. I'll tell you one way.

Fully engage
in something else for a while. Something that brings you fully into the now. Meditation, doing something that scares you shitless, or creative play are the best. When you come back you'll see her as an exciting opportunity for good times, rather than something you need.
I kinda get what you mean but would you be able to elaborate on "When you come back you'll see her as an exciting opportunity for good times, rather than something you need". 
Login or register to post.