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April 24th, 2014
How To Not Give A FUCK
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ozbuckley

Senior Member

Join Date: 02/22/2010 | Posts: 126

Hey Guys..

Can anyone shed some light on how to not give a fuck what people think of you? All my life Ive had this issue. Totally trying to find external validation and becoming an approval junkie as a consequence. So what were the first steps that you guys took into just not giving a fuck about what other people think? How did you begin to figure out who you are?

Ive been thinking that firstly it starts within. I need to validate myself. Accept myself and be responsible to my powers of responding. For some practical stuff Ive been thinking of just going out and doing some crazy shit like walking up to someone in the street with my finger up my nose and asking a question. just stupid shit like that.
My perfectionistic trait I think come out of this external validation/not validating myself thing.


So if theres any ideas out there I would to here them... or any links to threads that talk about this would be great. I would do it myself but I cant find where I can use a search thing for this forum.

Cheers,

Ozbuck
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#1
Abower

Abower

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/26/2007 | Posts: 1857

Not giving a fuck is not something you achieve sitting alone in your house thinking about it.

You will stop caring when you have no choice but to not care or you will go insane. Everything else is mental masturbation.
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#2

ozbuckley

Senior Member

Join Date: 02/22/2010 | Posts: 126

Hey Abower,

Yeah you know theres been situations in my life where I really do not give a fuck. Theres an intensive course attend a couple times a year and on especially on during those days i just dont give a fuckin shit most of the time. In saying that, i think part of it is because of the feeling of support from being with others on the course. .. Im not sure but this might be like a BC?     But when Im by myself I start automatically thinking about what others might think,etc.    How did you make the transition yourself?

Rockavon, what makes you say its a bit over-rated?


And a dinstiction Im starting to make is that Im not saying I dont want to give a fuck about what people are thinking, its more about not giving a fuck about MY perception of what other may or may not think. In a sense, quieting the mind.
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#3
Jay®

Jay®

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/06/2009 | Posts: 488

 Just have a lot of experiences and get into all kinds of wild situations. be judged, fuck up. Do thing well and have people congratulate you. Do what you are scared of. Do fun but embarrasing stuff and have people make fun of you. If you DO what you want sooner of later you will not give a shit what others think. 
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#4
Gunner

Gunner

Trusted Member

Join Date: 09/27/2006 | Posts: 1021

http://www.rsdwiki.com/index.php?title=My_Best_Attempt_to_Explain_%22Not...

Every time the question comes up, which is about once a month, I come out of hiding and link it :p
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#5
Abower

Abower

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Join Date: 08/26/2007 | Posts: 1857

In times of extreme duress, you have no choice but to get shit done without hesitation. You have to trust the moment and believe that everything will turn out alright.

Read this article by Jeffy for more about self-trust and operating under pressure: http://realsocialdynamics.blogspot.com/2007/10/jeffy-show-countdown-arti...
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#6

ozbuckley

Senior Member

Join Date: 02/22/2010 | Posts: 126

Thanks guys!!! Really! Thanks alot for this.  The key word I think here is EXPERIENCE. Any experience is good experience if you're wise enough to use it. Not being attached to success of failure. But enjoying the journey... and the journey is what creates emotional muscle, not some quick fix pill.

I tell you why I want to not give a fuck about what people think, its so that I can then be authentic... and they can experience that as a byproduct. By trying to adjust myself by (thinking I know) what they think I give my power away and shun the real me to be present. Im then run by expectations rather than intentions.
I tell you this way of thinking is probably the biggest thought pattern of my life so its not easy but thats why I have to do it! I like the phrase 'if you cant, you must. if you must, you can.'

Again, Thanks alot for the thoughts and links. Kudos
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#7

winandr

Member

Join Date: 02/08/2010 | Posts: 74

I used to and still have some trouble with this but face the music. Your right about experience, I started off with not giving a fuck about the small things. 
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#8
besserwisser

besserwisser

Trusted Member

Join Date: 07/28/2008 | Posts: 3090

Well, IME you just have to go through a lot of BULLSHIT, being humiliated in front of people, being treated like you're nothing and finally.... you become so used to it that you cannot give a fuck any more because it won't change a thing. Then you truly don't care.
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#9

ozbuckley

Senior Member

Join Date: 02/22/2010 | Posts: 126

sounds like majority of people get to the point of not giving a shit because they've through so much pain and they just hit a threshold. has anyone come about from the other way?... that being, not hitting rock bottom but just realising from an abundant place that the most respectful thing you could ever do for anyone is not allow what they think to effect your core?

i realised its funny, the most respectful thing is to not give a shit what someone thinks of you... because by doing that you offer yourself as authentic, alert, present and open. A true INDIVIDUAL... 'individual' meaning 'indivisible' = cannot be divided.  Trying to force yourself to be you would be like forcing a flower to bloom, you could open the flower up by peeling back the flower petals but soon you have destroyed it. its ugly, unnatural and ingenuine.
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#10
Dulak

Dulak

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Join Date: 09/23/2008 | Posts: 1312

Realize what is important to you ... realize that by accepting others judgements or your judgements about others percieved judgements will not allow you to reach your goal.

Then go put yourself in said situation time and time again ... and again ... and then again.  Then you will wake up one day and really not give a fuck.
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