THE FORUMS

December 9th, 2016
The Ultimate Valentine's Day Game Plan
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dloux31

dloux31

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/03/2009 | Posts: 448

Solid advice from my friend Nick.....

Let me just say this: Unless you are either completely single or in one committed long-term relationship, Valentine’s Day is not your friend.

What you do on Valentine’s Day depends on your status. We’re going to go over:

If you’re not “involved” with anyone.
If you are involved with a woman but she doesn’t have girlfriend status.
If you do have a girlfriend.
If you have more than one girlfriend in the same city.


1) If you are not involved with anyone

Valentine's Day is a great day to pick up women...

...but NOT in the way most guys think.

It's not about the bars and clubs. It's about a few specialized techniques. I've always had a lot of success on Valentine's - and  I'm going to share some of my own personal system... Enjoy!

The Secret to Picking Up on Valentine's Day

I don't recommend most bars and clubs for Valentine's Day. Unless you're going to a high-end venue where they keep the ratios good, you're likely to be surrounded by groups of desperate men and few attractive women.

This kills the vibe and puts a woman on the defensive. She'll automatically associate you with these guys.

So... if you are going out like this, prepare for LOTS of "tests." There's no way a hot woman is going to let herself get picked up on Valentine's Day without testing you first. Make sure you have great responses to questions like this:

"Why don't you have a girlfriend?"
"Why aren't you on a date on Valentine's Day?"
"Why are you talking to us?"
"When's the last time you had a girlfriend?"

By the way - it's "responses" not "answers." Actually answering questions like these is usually the EXACT WRONG way to handle a test.

That covers bars and clubs. Parties are usually a much better bet. There ARE parties full of attractive single people happening on Valentine's Day. There the odds are unbelievably in your favor, since just by knowing people in common, you'll be "safe" for a hot single woman who might be feeling lonely on Valentine's Day to go home with.

If you don't have an invite to an A-list nightclub or private party, then start with what you DO have - your phone. Send a text message (SMS) to every attractive woman you might be interested in. Even - ESPECIALLY - women you've lost touch with. The "dead phone numbers."

This text should be simple and "bait" her into responding. For example:

"Happy Valentine's Day - [Your Name]"

Make sure you put your name in the text message. If you don't (especially if you're hitting old phone numbers too), you risk the momentum-killing response "who is this?"

Some women will respond back. And that's when the dance starts. Continue, and escalate the conversation. No matter how attracted she was when you first met, you'll need to rebuild some attraction through text.

These days, with every hot woman plugged into her phone, there's no excuse for not being good at Phone and Text Game. It's not a skill you can avoid or cover up if you want to pick up beautiful women.

Anyway, once you've got her past the Hook Point, then casually ask her what she's doing "tonight." Not "for Valentine's" - just say "tonight" like it's any other Sunday.

THIS IS JUST A QUESTION. DO NOT ASK HER OUT.

There are a million different responses you might get, but there's only one thing that's important. Either she has firm plans or she doesn't.

If she doesn't have firm plans, then invite her out. But not on a date. That's too weird, especially if you haven't been in close contact with her. Tell her that you and your friends are going out for a few drinks and invite her to "join up later."

Ideally you should frame it in a way that implies that it's a mixed group or she might worry it's a bunch of lonely guys on the prowl.

You: "[Random Content]. So what are you up to tonight?"
Her: "I'm not sure, right now I'm just hanging out."
You: "Cool, I'm going to a friend's place for a bit then we're heading out. She lives in [neighborhood] so we'll probably go out there. Come join up later!"

Did you notice how the last message is designed to get the word "she" into the text in a way that doesn't seem forced?

If you've rebuilt attraction, from here on in it will be about logistics.

She might bring a friend. If so, bring one of your own. If she wonders where "everyone else" is, say something plausible and then transition to a better topic.

For example:
"It's like Valentine's Day survivor. Jessica's still there drunk dialing her ex-boyfriend, (she'll be back in a few), Dave and Kayla went to do some couples stuff and Jay - well let's just say that Jay shouldn't drink on an empty stomach. Hey, that reminds me [and go into a funny story...]

Do NOT act like it's Valentine's Day or make it all romantic. Go to a bar or club, have some drinks, and have fun. She's likely planning to sleep with you anyway.

What if she does have plans?

No big deal. You're not seeing her tonight. But, you can use this opportunity to reconnect with her and see her later/next week...

... IF - and only IF - you keep your line of retreat open. Once she shows you that she's not coming out, tell her what you're doing. It should be something you couldn't have conceivably invited her to, so that your "what are you up to tonight?" is social chatter instead of a rejected Valentine's date.

For example:

You: "[Random Content]. So what are you up to tonight?"
Her: "Going out with friends, you?"
You: "Getting used to being an uncle. I'm in Chicago this weekend; my sister just had a baby!"

Or

"Heading to a party later. But it's a white party and I have nothing all-white. Might make friends with bleach."

Continue on with BOTH attraction AND comfort-building through text messages and you should get a few dates lined up for this week - even from women with "dead" phone numbers.

Or

A day or two after Valentine’s Day, call her and tell her a funny story about something that happened when you were out with a “friend.” Be subtle – she’ll put two and two together – and make your story take place somewhere fun and romantic but not over the top. Make the setting the background to the story. A story about a woman taking off her shoes to dance and then seeing them slide over the deck into the water while you and your friend went on a dinner/cruise works better than a dry recitation of “we did this” and “then we did that.” The latter could seem a transparent attempt to make her jealous or would brand you as a player.

Don’t ask her what she did on "Valentine’s Day.” Assume that she was either alone or with a lesser man. Don’t react or be interested.


2) If you are involved with a woman but she isn’t your girlfriend (or obviously on that track)

This is the trickiest one. Valentine’s Day is great for women because it forces men to reveal their intentions. You may have been casually flirting with her and playing hard to get, but as soon as you ask her out on Valentine’s Day, she will know that your interest is serious. Unless she is equally interested in you, she will know that she can have you, and will therefore be more likely to be bored with the lack of a challenge.

Yes, this sucks. No, it doesn’t mean she’s a bitch. People want what they can’t have, and women and relationships are no exception. On the other hand, if she’s into you and you don’t offer to make plans... you may be discarded for someone who does. Sorry. This can be a no-win situation. I didn’t make the world; I just live in it.

The best bet here is to go out with a mixed group (either a group of singles, or include some couples once they’ve done the private Valentine’s Day stuff together) and invite her to come along. Keep it nice and ambiguous.


3) If she is your – one and only – serious girlfriend

There’s no way around this. Make the day special for her. Do the traditional date and do it right.
Send her flowers, and send them to somewhere she can show them off to her friends. Valentine’s Day for women is in part a “who has the best boyfriend” competition. So send flowers to her work if that’s appropriate, or to her apartment if she has a few roommates.
Don’t just send roses. Be creative. But make it nice.
Doing the traditional Valentine’s Date means showing up dressed nicely (even in a suit). Make reservations somewhere nice and do something exciting afterward. And then enjoy how grateful she is.


4) If you are seriously dating multiple women in the same city:

Get out of town. I’m serious. Most beautiful women will not accept seeing a man once a week or more, sleeping with him, and not getting to spend Valentine’s Day with him if he’s in town.
Make it a business trip, a family emergency, whatever it is, leave before Thursday and don’t come back on Monday. That’s too obvious. Disappear for at least a few of days.
Send flowers to all of them and call all of them.


Whatever your romantic situation


Send flowers to your mom. This is pretty non-negotiable. If you email me over the next couple weeks about anything, I’m likely to ask if you did this. If you didn’t, and you don’t have a good reason, you’re likely to get lectured. She’s your mother. It’s Valentine’s. This isn’t that complicated.

In sum, if you’re single or casually dating, Valentine’s Day is a giant, societally-imposed artificial state break in the normal evolution of a relationship. It is not your friend. Try to make the best of it. On the plus side, if you *are* single, women are incredibly easy to meet.
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#1

ninjasdf

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/06/2006 | Posts: 113

This is 100% gold. All 4 points. I've been in each of these situations haha The get out of town one is especially accurate.

V-Day is like a relationship accelerator. The absolute worst is if you've been seeing a girl casually for 2 or 3 months. V-Day is where you'll either end up in a serious committed relationship with her, or lose her. So annoying, haha

- ninjasdf
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#2
xGuyx

xGuyx

Senior Member

Join Date: 08/14/2009 | Posts: 240

Wow thanks...i enjoyed a thread that isnt the usual " just be alpha, own reality, tolle bro hurrrrr eahrrrrh"
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#3

bonafide

Junior Member

Join Date: 01/12/2010 | Posts: 11

I read this all the way.  Great thread...I usually just lurk but this is really good.
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#4
haiqu

haiqu

Trusted Member

Join Date: 10/24/2007 | Posts: 1526

Good stuff.

And as we all know, there's nothing like a good stuff.
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#5
Cadillac Jones

Cadillac Jones

Respected Member

Join Date: 08/04/2008 | Posts: 345

The local radio station here is having a private "singles mingle' party that I'm invited too.

Game on.
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#6

probono

Junior Member

Join Date: 12/14/2009 | Posts: 4

Well luckily I'm outa town, so ill get away with just sending a bouquet to the girlfriend :P

This is a first for me though, so any ideas about what I should have written on the card? We've been seeing each other for about 5 months.
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#7

Juggaknot

Member

Join Date: 09/02/2009 | Posts: 96

dloux31 wrote:

2) If you are involved with a woman but she isn’t your girlfriend (or obviously on that track)

This is the trickiest one. Valentine’s Day is great for women because it forces men to reveal their intentions. You may have been casually flirting with her and playing hard to get, but as soon as you ask her out on Valentine’s Day, she will know that your interest is serious. Unless she is equally interested in you, she will know that she can have you, and will therefore be more likely to be bored with the lack of a challenge.

Yes, this sucks. No, it doesn’t mean she’s a bitch. People want what they can’t have, and women and relationships are no exception. On the other hand, if she’s into you and you don’t offer to make plans... you may be discarded for someone who does. Sorry. This can be a no-win situation. I didn’t make the world; I just live in it.

The best bet here is to go out with a mixed group (either a group of singles, or include some couples once they’ve done the private Valentine’s Day stuff together) and invite her to come along. Keep it nice and ambiguous.


my plan for this chick is just to fuck her like we always do.

also your first section about sending out the mass text seems great and i will follow it to the T.  Im also gonna use it as an opportunity to clean house on any #s that dont respond. 

def hitting up my dear old mum with something too.

great post. thanks
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#8
jlaix

jlaix

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 8800

You can go to the singles party, you can go to the bar, doesn't really matter... any girls you do discover out there are DTF, pretty much guaranteed. To arms, gentlemen
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#9
TableDance

TableDance

Trusted Member

Join Date: 07/08/2009 | Posts: 1988

My FB just got me a whole bunch of candy.  She spent a whole bunch of time going to like 5 different places to get all of the types that I like :-(...  I then had to tell her that I didn't think we were gonna do anything, and she shouldn't expect anything from me... It felt pretty week, but she took it well then helped me eat a bunch of the candy... Oh well
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