THE FORUMS

December 11th, 2016
Wonderful interactions
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Mr.Groove

Junior Member

Join Date: 02/09/2010 | Posts: 17

I've gotten past AA pretty well, to the point where I only feel it for a split second and then I automatically take action without thinking.
I get into this mode where I'm just naturally funny, cool and dominant. I lead the conversation, I listen to girls (although if they interupt me, I start interupting them, but it's
never really an issue, we just talk over each other lol) I can get girls to open up easily, I don't use any rapport tricks (maybe I should?) I just let it flow.

So far, every girl I've cold approached has given me the time of day, laughed at my jokes pretty damn hard, given compliance (to an extent) and opens up to me automatically
about embarrasing stuff like them failing at something or getting caught doing something embarassing etc etc etc etc. I don't get rejected in the classical way but what happens is
this...

I open the chick, it goes smoothly, we develop a natural rapport, I'm leading, we talk, she laughs (most usually a lot, uncontrollably even) and then when I feel like doing it I just I drop a statement of interest, something like "why haven't we hung out yet, you're massively cute" and all I get is a "thank you" in a low ass voice, and the girl stops investing as much into the interaction, it's like they become "frozen" or something. They stop moving a lot and they just stand there really quiet. I let them simmer for a bit and squirm and then I keep talking about fun stuff, drinking, going out and chilling with friends, plans i have for the future between me and the girl (when we chill, omg we're going to have so much fun! you gotta try my drink mixes!) usually, one would think a girl says "no" but it's not like that with me anymore. Now, they NEVER say anything, they just stand there all quiet and shit, curled into like a small ball or something (obviously not that literal but you get it)...eye contact stops,laughs are still there though, girls just laugh and laugh and laugh with me, even in this "frozen" state. My cell phone is broken so I always let them know "omg, your so much fun, my phone is broken or otherwise i would have gotten your number and we'd be hanging out asap". EVERY TIME, the chicks don't say "yes" or "no", they just stand there. My energy is flirty, dominant, I'm always leading the convo. So what gives?

So, this is how 100 percent of my 40 last interactions have looked like so far. What gives? I know we're past the stage of looking for "IOI"s" but I can't help but notice that I have laughter going on, I have flirting and leading going on, I have rapport and the girl opening up going on...soooooo...what is this? What am I missing? 
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#1

Mr.Groove

Junior Member

Join Date: 02/09/2010 | Posts: 17

Stormwolf wrote:
Try qualifying them on something other than her looks
Really? I don't mean to be harsh and thank you for the advice..but the girls I'm speaking to aren't exactly 10's or 9's...they are 7's and 8's mostly.

I'm going to try when I go out tommorow...but damn! Seriously? Whats wrong with qualifying them about their looks? (which is why i approached them in the first place! just being authentic I guess?)
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#2
Runn089

Runn089

Senior Member

Join Date: 01/07/2010 | Posts: 146

Just to clarify: I do NOT consider myself to be more advanced/have a better skillset than you, nontheless I think this might be useful:

Do you have any kind of kino going on during the interaction?
Do you escalate (from handshake to hugging, spinning, kissing on the cheek etc.)?
Do you show some kind of intent before the SOI?
Do you set a sexual/flirtatious frame?

It seems to me that you manage to entertain the girl and be non threatening, therefore you cause positive reactions/laughter, girls feel happy/comfortable around you in entertainer mode.

As soon as you do the SOI they freeze.

Maybe it´s because you´re not conveying that initial sexuality that you´re supposed to show from the get go, setting the flirtatious frame etc. in order to safe yourself from getting blown out. As soon as the SOI comes it´s like Jeffy said in his DVD set, jumping out yelling "surprise, I have a dick!!!", and that might be incongruent with the personality you were trying to represent before, thus girls blow you out.

Again, I´m far from being capable of giving you advice on how to do it, it´s just coming across like you haven´t done it at all.

If this is the case, watch Tim´s Flawless Natural or look up some of the threads/articles on intent/kino escalation.
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#3

Mr.Groove

Junior Member

Join Date: 02/09/2010 | Posts: 17

Runn089 wrote:
Just to clarify: I do NOT consider myself to be more advanced/have a better skillset than you, nontheless I think this might be useful:

Do you have any kind of kino going on during the interaction?
Do you show some kind of intent before the SOI?
Do you have a sexual/flirtatious frame?

It seems to me that you manage to entertain the girl and be non threatening, therefore you cause positive reactions/laughter, girls feel happy/comfortable around you in entertainer mode.

As soon as you do the SOI they freeze.

Maybe it´s because you´re not conveying that initial sexuality that you´re supposed to show from the get go, setting the flirtatious frame etc. in order to safe yourself from getting blown out. As soon as the SOI comes it´s like Jeffy said in his DVD set, jumping out yelling "surprise, I have a dick!!!", and that might be incongruent with the personality you were trying to represent before, thus girls blow you out.

Again, I´m far from being capable of giving you advice on how to do it, it´s just coming across like you haven´t done it at all.

If this is the case, watch Tim´s Flawless Natural or look up some of the threads/articles on intent/kino escalation.
Maybe? I've been tonining down the sexual aspect ONLY because I've talked to many, many, many girls about this and they all tell me they are super creeped out by guys who look at them like they want to fuck them. Even today, when I was talking to this chick today and after my SOI she told me "hey, you know that other guy in class? he's always looking at me for mad long. it's weird and it creeps me out" and all I said was "well, theres a time and place for everything" and kept talking about other shit.

Anyway, I always do carry myself in a slightly sexual way, but I've toned it down because of what the chicks say and also because I don't want to come across as ultra-sexual pervert like quagmire from family guy, or like super seductive don juan wanna be because I'm not trying to scare them away. 
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#4
Runn089

Runn089

Senior Member

Join Date: 01/07/2010 | Posts: 146

Mr.Groove wrote:

Anyway, I always do carry myself in a slightly sexual way, but I've toned it down because of what the chicks say and also because I don't want to come across as ultra-sexual pervert like quagmire from family guy, or like super seductive don juan wanna be because I'm not trying to scare them away. 

Yeah I know what you mean. I have problems showing intent cause I fear it might scare girls / come across super creepy. But keep in mind that girls DONT KNOW what they want.

Quote:
I've talked to many, many, many girls about this and they all tell me they are super creeped out by guys who look at them like they want to fuck them


If Brad Pitt came along and looked at them like he wanted to fuck them, you think they would still feel creeped out?^^

All in all it´s totally the same problem for me. I simply don´t feel like a sexual/flirtatious person at all, I´m way more comfortable being funny and social, but it´s hard to transition into sexual mode once you realize you´ve already talked to the girl for a long long time without actually initiating any sexual kino .

I read it everywhere on RSDN, kino/flirtatious frame from the beginning kinda preselects your targets and conveys your real self much more congruently, since in fact you wanna fuck them.

Have you tried to do overly sexual moves in order to get comfortable with it and calibrate properly? It´s still a thing I have to do and I´m scared of very much. Guess I have to do it in order to get to know both extreme sides, which will hopefully lead to a more rounded personality.
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#5

Mr.Groove

Junior Member

Join Date: 02/09/2010 | Posts: 17

Runn089 wrote:

Mr.Groove wrote:

Anyway, I always do carry myself in a slightly sexual way, but I've toned it down because of what the chicks say and also because I don't want to come across as ultra-sexual pervert like quagmire from family guy, or like super seductive don juan wanna be because I'm not trying to scare them away. 

Yeah I know what you mean. I have problems showing intent cause I fear it might scare girls / come across super creepy. But keep in mind that girls DONT KNOW what they want.

Quote:
I've talked to many, many, many girls about this and they all tell me they are super creeped out by guys who look at them like they want to fuck them


If Brad Pitt came along and looked at them like he wanted to fuck them, you think they would still feel creeped out?^^

All in all it´s totally the same problem for me. I simply don´t feel like a sexual/flirtatious person at all, I´m way more comfortable being funny and social, but it´s hard to transition into sexual mode once you realize you´ve already talked to the girl for a long long time without actually initiating any sexual kino .

I read it everywhere on RSDN, kino/flirtatious frame from the beginning kinda preselects your targets and conveys your real self much more congruently, since in fact you wanna fuck them.

Have you tried to do overly sexual moves in order to get comfortable with it and calibrate properly? It´s still a thing I have to do and I´m scared of very much. Guess I have to do it in order to get to know both extreme sides, which will hopefully lead to a more rounded personality.

Ahhh I see. We have the same issue I think.

I'm gaming around school (communtiy college) and the ONLY reason I don't touch girls there like I do at the club is because of sexual harrasment laws. The school had a huge problem with sexual
harrasment a few years ago, so if you're seen touching a girl in any sexual way and she doesn't comply, it's a problem waiting to happen.

Trust me, I've been DYING to claw, grab, and handle these chicks physically, yet I don't do it because of the enviorment, you're not really supposed to touch girls during "day game" I hear, so I dont' do it.

I've acutally have impulses during these last interactions to grab them, I've had something in my mind go "claw her in,man, she's ripe!" and I didn't ONLY because of the enviorment. Maybe I should follow my instincts more.
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#6

Mr.Groove

Junior Member

Join Date: 02/09/2010 | Posts: 17

Anyway...should I kino during day game? it's what my instincts are telling me!
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#7
crusher~

crusher~

Trusted Member

Join Date: 05/02/2008 | Posts: 1283

Mr.Groove wrote:
I've gotten past AA pretty well, to the point where I only feel it for a split second and then I automatically take action without thinking.
I get into this mode where I'm just naturally funny, cool and dominant. I lead the conversation, I listen to girls (although if they interupt me, I start interupting them, but it's
never really an issue, we just talk over each other lol) I can get girls to open up easily, I don't use any rapport tricks (maybe I should?) I just let it flow.

So far, every girl I've cold approached has given me the time of day, laughed at my jokes pretty damn hard, given compliance (to an extent) and opens up to me automatically
about embarrasing stuff like them failing at something or getting caught doing something embarassing etc etc etc etc. I don't get rejected in the classical way but what happens is
this...

I open the chick, it goes smoothly, we develop a natural rapport, I'm leading, we talk, she laughs (most usually a lot, uncontrollably even) and then when I feel like doing it I just I drop a statement of interest, something like "why haven't we hung out yet, you're massively cute" and all I get is a "thank you" in a low ass voice, and the girl stops investing as much into the interaction, it's like they become "frozen" or something. They stop moving a lot and they just stand there really quiet. I let them simmer for a bit and squirm and then I keep talking about fun stuff, drinking, going out and chilling with friends, plans i have for the future between me and the girl (when we chill, omg we're going to have so much fun! you gotta try my drink mixes!) usually, one would think a girl says "no" but it's not like that with me anymore. Now, they NEVER say anything, they just stand there all quiet and shit, curled into like a small ball or something (obviously not that literal but you get it)...eye contact stops,laughs are still there though, girls just laugh and laugh and laugh with me, even in this "frozen" state. My cell phone is broken so I always let them know "omg, your so much fun, my phone is broken or otherwise i would have gotten your number and we'd be hanging out asap". EVERY TIME, the chicks don't say "yes" or "no", they just stand there. My energy is flirty, dominant, I'm always leading the convo. So what gives?

So, this is how 100 percent of my 40 last interactions have looked like so far. What gives? I know we're past the stage of looking for "IOI"s" but I can't help but notice that I have laughter going on, I have flirting and leading going on, I have rapport and the girl opening up going on...soooooo...what is this? What am I missing? 


Story time. I went to a community college after not being invited back to the university after my freshman year, something about grades. Anyway, my drinking buddy and I were out at a hip club in downtown and we ran into one of my English professors. He was surprised to see us and commented that most of the suburban kids were afraid to come into downtown. Frankly, I concurred with his opinion. If your community college is anything like the one I went to, the girls there in comparison to their contemporaries at the major universities are likely still living at home, relatively less sophisticated, and still leading reasonably sheltered lives. The bottom line is that you are coming across with so much higher value, their self-image can't handle it as evidenced by the quiet "thank you" to your compliment. That's how it looks to me.

So, if the problem is that you are coming across as too high value, the solution is to bring your value down a bit.

Just my impression

Peace
__________________

Life. There are no dress rehearsals.
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#8

Mr.Groove

Junior Member

Join Date: 02/09/2010 | Posts: 17

longhornthegill! wrote:
 Open direct with an SOI---"You looked cute and I just had to meet you"---BR tonality and smile...problem solved. You may get fewer opens, but the ones who do will be solid, and It'll be clear why you're talking to her
Sounds good. Really good. Why the BR tonality though? Just curious! Also, can't they just stay around to be validated even if they aren't attracted? I'm not in the business
of boosting egos here lol.
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#9

ninjasdf

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/06/2006 | Posts: 113

Mr.Groove wrote:

So, this is how 100 percent of my 40 last interactions have looked like so far. What gives? I know we're past the stage of looking for "IOI"s" but I can't help but notice that I have laughter going on, I have flirting and leading going on, I have rapport and the girl opening up going on...soooooo...what is this? What am I missing? 


You're too awesome.

No, seriously.  If they're not epic 9s and 10s that expect attraction from really high value guys, you're shell-shocking them.  Basically the girl is loving you and thinking "wow this guy is awesome!"  And then BAM, you suddenly say you dig them and they don't feel like they've done anything to earn that, so they go "!!!!  ??  ME??  WHAT?  He...??  But he's so... And I'm only.... Is he messing with me?  What--...Me??"  You just fried her circuits.  It was all good when you were just this awesome larger than life guy, but then all of a sudden they have to think about if they're good enough for you.

Imagine Michael Jordan walks in, acts all awesome, and then says to you "You're cool, why haven't we shot hoops together yet?"  You'd be thinking "...???  Because you're Michael Fucking Jordan!!  And I'm just this guy, I don't even know how to play basketball, is he fucking with me??  I didn't even show him any basketball moves or anything!  Why would he want to shoot hoops with ME??  I...what....but...."

The fix is what Stormwolf mentioned: Make your SOI based on something other than her looks.  If she's laughing a lot you could even go with something like "Man, you seemed so shy at first but you're actually pretty funny.  I dig girls with a sense of humor.  Give me your number and we'll hang out some time."  Now you're letting her know maybe you weren't interested at first because you're so high value, but she's impressed you in some way and won you over (even if she didn't do it intentionally) and THAT'S why you want to hang with her.

Also you're asking "Why haven't we hung out?"  She doesn't have an answer for that.  You can still ask that, but don't wait for a response, just treat it as a rhetorical question and instantly follow it up with "Give me your number, we're going to go party sometime."  That's how you lead the interaction.  I've actually had girls that are just uttering "But..."  "I can't, I..."  "But we..." with giant saucer-eyes stunned while I'm just talking over them going "Here, I typed your name in.  Now put your number in here.  Of course you can.  Press these buttons.  There you go.  I'll call you later.  :)" all with a smile and taking their hands and putting my phone in it and moving their fingers to the number pad, haha

Quality problem with an easy fix!  Congrats and props for getting to a point where so many girls dig ya!  :)

- ninjasdf
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#10

Mr.Groove

Junior Member

Join Date: 02/09/2010 | Posts: 17

ninjasdf wrote:




Mr.Groove wrote:

So, this is how 100 percent of my 40 last interactions have looked like so far. What gives? I know we're past the stage of looking for "IOI"s" but I can't help but notice that I have laughter going on, I have flirting and leading going on, I have rapport and the girl opening up going on...soooooo...what is this? What am I missing? 


You're too awesome.

No, seriously.  If they're not epic 9s and 10s that expect attraction from really high value guys, you're shell-shocking them.  Basically the girl is loving you and thinking "wow this guy is awesome!"  And then BAM, you suddenly say you dig them and they don't feel like they've done anything to earn that, so they go "!!!!  ??  ME??  WHAT?  He...??  But he's so... And I'm only.... Is he messing with me?  What--...Me??"  You just fried her circuits.  It was all good when you were just this awesome larger than life guy, but then all of a sudden they have to think about if they're good enough for you.

Imagine Michael Jordan walks in, acts all awesome, and then says to you "You're cool, why haven't we shot hoops together yet?"  You'd be thinking "...???  Because you're Michael Fucking Jordan!!  And I'm just this guy, I don't even know how to play basketball, is he fucking with me??  I didn't even show him any basketball moves or anything!  Why would he want to shoot hoops with ME??  I...what....but...."

The fix is what Stormwolf mentioned: Make your SOI based on something other than her looks.  If she's laughing a lot you could even go with something like "Man, you seemed so shy at first but you're actually pretty funny.  I dig girls with a sense of humor.  Give me your number and we'll hang out some time."  Now you're letting her know maybe you weren't interested at first because you're so high value, but she's impressed you in some way and won you over (even if she didn't do it intentionally) and THAT'S why you want to hang with her.

Also you're asking "Why haven't we hung out?"  She doesn't have an answer for that.  You can still ask that, but don't wait for a response, just treat it as a rhetorical question and instantly follow it up with "Give me your number, we're going to go party sometime."  That's how you lead the interaction.  I've actually had girls that are just uttering "But..."  "I can't, I..."  "But we..." with giant saucer-eyes stunned while I'm just talking over them going "Here, I typed your name in.  Now put your number in here.  Of course you can.  Press these buttons.  There you go.  I'll call you later.  :)" all with a smile and taking their hands and putting my phone in it and moving their fingers to the number pad, haha

Quality problem with an easy fix!  Congrats and props for getting to a point where so many girls dig ya!  :)

- ninjasdf

Thanks!
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